1 00:00:01,435 --> 00:00:02,503 ADULT ADAM: Growing up, there was nothing better 2 00:00:02,536 --> 00:00:04,405 than the magical last week of school. 3 00:00:04,438 --> 00:00:07,007 It all began with crafting the perfect yearbook message. 4 00:00:07,041 --> 00:00:08,442 How long is this? 5 00:00:08,476 --> 00:00:09,643 Six pages, front and back. 6 00:00:09,677 --> 00:00:11,179 How long is yours? One sentence. 7 00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:14,014 "You are my turtle-necked stallion." 8 00:00:14,048 --> 00:00:16,484 This is the greatest thing anyone's ever written me! 9 00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,186 ADULT ADAM: For the seniors, there was the tradition 10 00:00:18,219 --> 00:00:19,520 of the awkward class photo. 11 00:00:20,554 --> 00:00:21,855 Clear a hole, losers. 12 00:00:21,889 --> 00:00:23,857 Johnny Atkins is finally graduating. 13 00:00:23,891 --> 00:00:25,259 You suck. You're a dork. 14 00:00:25,293 --> 00:00:26,427 You're a nerd. 15 00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:27,928 I hate you. You suck, too. 16 00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:29,863 Mr. Atkins, I thought you knew. 17 00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:31,099 You failed five classes. 18 00:00:31,132 --> 00:00:32,533 You're definitely not graduating. 19 00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:35,169 Forget what I just said. Have a great summer. 20 00:00:35,203 --> 00:00:36,937 ADULT ADAM: And who could forget the ring salesman 21 00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:38,839 who grossly overestimated teenage interest 22 00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:40,141 in bulky jewelry? 23 00:00:40,174 --> 00:00:41,342 Joss Stinn, bro? 24 00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:43,577 Is there any way you can take off the name of our school 25 00:00:43,611 --> 00:00:45,779 and replace it with "JTP" in emeralds? 26 00:00:45,813 --> 00:00:46,947 ALL: "JTP" in emeralds? 27 00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:48,116 No, there's not. 28 00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:49,183 You make me sad. 29 00:00:49,217 --> 00:00:50,718 Your rings are dumb. Appreciate your time. 30 00:00:50,751 --> 00:00:53,287 ADULT ADAM: And, of course, our school's finest tradition, 31 00:00:53,321 --> 00:00:54,355 the senior prank... (ALL SCREAM) 32 00:00:54,388 --> 00:00:56,490 Oh, no. I'm going down! 33 00:00:56,524 --> 00:00:58,359 ...which mostly just pissed off our principal. 34 00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:01,662 Sweet Saran Wrap! It gets worse every year! 35 00:01:01,695 --> 00:01:04,198 Amaro Jr.! Is this your handiwork? 36 00:01:04,232 --> 00:01:05,399 He somehow knows it was you. 37 00:01:05,433 --> 00:01:07,468 Run, Ruben! Run! Nah. 38 00:01:07,501 --> 00:01:09,002 I'll walk at a leisurely pace. 39 00:01:09,036 --> 00:01:11,004 But even better than the traditional senior prank 40 00:01:11,038 --> 00:01:13,574 was the tradition of planning the epic summer. 41 00:01:13,607 --> 00:01:15,509 C'mon, guys, four friends in a van, 42 00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:17,811 following the Grateful Dead all summer? It will be super chill. 43 00:01:17,845 --> 00:01:19,480 (SCOFFS) I wish. Why can't you? 44 00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:20,581 I can only tell you 45 00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:22,916 if it's under the JTP cone of silence. 46 00:01:22,950 --> 00:01:24,652 ALL: JTP cone of silence! 47 00:01:24,685 --> 00:01:26,354 My plan for this summer is 48 00:01:26,387 --> 00:01:28,389 to spend as much time as I can with Adam. 49 00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:29,890 Beautiful, bro. Goosebumps. 50 00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:33,026 Yes, that's why I made him this in wood shop. 51 00:01:33,060 --> 00:01:35,263 Maybe instead of an archaic homemade weapon, 52 00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:37,498 you just tell Adam what he means to you. 53 00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:39,900 I will tell him with the paddle. 54 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:41,602 Yeah, I'm not sure that's what the paddle is saying. 55 00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:43,771 If anything, it says "nerd basher." 56 00:01:43,804 --> 00:01:46,140 Yeah. As in for the bashing of nerds. 57 00:01:46,174 --> 00:01:47,575 How are you not getting this? 58 00:01:47,608 --> 00:01:50,043 As for me, I was partaking in the tradition 59 00:01:50,077 --> 00:01:51,579 of taking over your big brother's room. 60 00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:52,646 Hey, Schmoo. 61 00:01:53,381 --> 00:01:54,448 What's with the measuring? 62 00:01:54,482 --> 00:01:55,883 Well, now that Barry's off to Penn, 63 00:01:55,916 --> 00:01:58,752 I'm gonna turn his room into my private toy sanctuary, 64 00:01:58,786 --> 00:02:00,954 where I can display all my collectible action figures. 65 00:02:00,988 --> 00:02:02,055 Oh, no, you won't. 66 00:02:02,089 --> 00:02:03,257 I have to! 67 00:02:03,291 --> 00:02:06,294 Displaying collectibles is how adult boys play with toys. 68 00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:08,829 Barry's room will always stay exactly the same, 69 00:02:08,862 --> 00:02:09,930 so that, at any moment, 70 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:12,065 I can come in and sniff his pillowcases 71 00:02:12,099 --> 00:02:13,467 and pretend that nothing's changed. 72 00:02:13,501 --> 00:02:15,469 So, basically, it's a shrine that supports 73 00:02:15,503 --> 00:02:17,605 your wildly unhealthy attachment to your children? 74 00:02:17,638 --> 00:02:19,740 You want to turn this into a toy museum, 75 00:02:19,773 --> 00:02:21,209 so who's the weird one here? 76 00:02:21,242 --> 00:02:22,310 Mom gets it. 77 00:02:22,343 --> 00:02:24,512 One day, people will pay a fortune 78 00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:27,448 to see where America's first doctoring rap president grew up. 79 00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:29,250 Oh, they sure will. 80 00:02:29,283 --> 00:02:31,919 Oh, I can't believe my baby's done high school! 81 00:02:31,952 --> 00:02:33,987 It really is the end of an era, Ad Rock. 82 00:02:34,021 --> 00:02:35,456 Which is why I have to give you 83 00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,458 as many joxygen masks as possible. 84 00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:39,460 Wait, what? Sweet balls, no! 85 00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:42,730 Aww, my babies love each other so friggin' much. Oh! 86 00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:44,498 Oh, terrible! 87 00:02:44,532 --> 00:02:46,667 I know, buddy. I'm gonna miss this, too. 88 00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:47,801 Ohh! 89 00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:49,136 * I don't know the future 90 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:52,373 * But the past keeps getting clearer every day * 91 00:02:53,807 --> 00:02:55,776 ADULT ADAM: It was May 8th, 1980-something, 92 00:02:55,809 --> 00:02:58,145 and Geoff had a bombshell to drop on my sister. 93 00:02:58,178 --> 00:02:59,747 Erica, oh, sweet lord, Erica. 94 00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:01,114 I just got the worst news ever. 95 00:03:01,148 --> 00:03:02,250 Oh, my God! What is it? 96 00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:03,751 Did something happen to your family? Worse! 97 00:03:03,784 --> 00:03:05,586 I have the highest GPA in my graduating class, 98 00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:06,654 and I'm valedictorian. 99 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,856 Damn it, Geoff. You scared the crap out of me. 100 00:03:08,889 --> 00:03:10,157 You should be scared. 101 00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:12,326 I now have to write a moving graduation speech. 102 00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:13,661 Do you have any idea what happens 103 00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:15,363 when I have to speak in a public forum? 104 00:03:15,396 --> 00:03:17,331 Yes, you get slight performance anxiety... 105 00:03:17,365 --> 00:03:19,032 Crippling stage fright. Crippling stage fright. 106 00:03:19,066 --> 00:03:20,501 I didn't want to say it, but that's what it is. 107 00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:23,203 I know, and having to write a speech on top of everything else 108 00:03:23,237 --> 00:03:25,673 completely implodes my jam-packed Filofax schedule. 109 00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:27,207 What the hell am I looking at right now? 110 00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:28,842 My summer broken down and planned to the minute. 111 00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:32,012 Dude, you have two jobs and five summer school classes 112 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:33,681 and an internship at LensCrafters. 113 00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:35,148 Not enough? It's more than enough. 114 00:03:35,182 --> 00:03:36,950 You even scheduled bathroom breaks. 115 00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:38,619 It's either Wednesdays at 4:00 or not at all. 116 00:03:38,652 --> 00:03:40,120 Dude, you're already valedictorian. 117 00:03:40,153 --> 00:03:41,889 What more do you want? So much more. 118 00:03:41,922 --> 00:03:43,123 This summer, I have to complete 119 00:03:43,156 --> 00:03:44,525 all my college core classes 120 00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,727 so that next year, I have time to pick a sensible major 121 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,629 so that I can get a job and then marry you 122 00:03:48,662 --> 00:03:50,398 and then buy a house and then lease a Volvo 123 00:03:50,431 --> 00:03:52,132 and then save for our kids to go to college. 124 00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:53,367 Forget our kids' college! 125 00:03:53,401 --> 00:03:54,802 You haven't even gone to college. 126 00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:56,570 I know. I'm sorry I'm so wound up. 127 00:03:56,604 --> 00:03:58,839 It's just our future is, like, super important to me. 128 00:03:58,872 --> 00:04:00,173 Whoa, what's with all the scratching? 129 00:04:00,207 --> 00:04:01,342 It's just a stress rash. 130 00:04:01,375 --> 00:04:02,843 It comes and goes like my peptic ulcer. 131 00:04:02,876 --> 00:04:04,378 Who's ready to fill their tum-tums 132 00:04:04,412 --> 00:04:05,513 with some Ants on a Log? 133 00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:06,747 Not this guy. 134 00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:07,981 He's so stressed about his future, 135 00:04:08,015 --> 00:04:09,149 he's all itchy and rashy. 136 00:04:09,182 --> 00:04:11,352 Oh, poor baby. Here, let me see... 137 00:04:11,385 --> 00:04:12,553 Oh, son of a bitch! 138 00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,021 Erica, step away from that boy 139 00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:15,222 and go wash your hands. What? 140 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:17,691 Geoffrey has a scorching case of the shingles. 141 00:04:17,725 --> 00:04:18,859 Shingles? No! 142 00:04:18,892 --> 00:04:20,494 Isn't that a virus for sad, old people? 143 00:04:20,528 --> 00:04:21,629 Oh, for sure. 144 00:04:21,662 --> 00:04:23,664 But it's also brought on by overwhelming stress. 145 00:04:23,697 --> 00:04:26,166 I have overwhelming stress! That describes me perfectly! 146 00:04:26,199 --> 00:04:27,401 Geoff, look at me. 147 00:04:27,435 --> 00:04:29,570 I'm telling you as an absolute fact 148 00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:30,938 you don't have the shingles. 149 00:04:30,971 --> 00:04:32,072 Geoff has the shingles. 150 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:33,541 What? Is he okay? 151 00:04:33,574 --> 00:04:35,743 No, I'm not okay! I'm soaking in a tub of oatmeal! 152 00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:38,379 Just stay in the healing breakfast bath, son! 153 00:04:38,412 --> 00:04:39,547 Doctor's orders! 154 00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:41,248 Please stop standing outside the door! 155 00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,250 This bath is delicious and humiliating! 156 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,118 ADULT ADAM: As Geoff soaked in his mushy bath, 157 00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:46,454 I was facing the cold hard facts 158 00:04:46,487 --> 00:04:48,188 about my girlfriend graduating. 159 00:04:48,221 --> 00:04:50,358 I can't believe we only have one week left together. 160 00:04:50,391 --> 00:04:52,225 Ba-bup! We agreed 161 00:04:52,259 --> 00:04:54,027 you going off to college was gonna be drama-free. 162 00:04:54,061 --> 00:04:55,596 I know we said it, but how? 163 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,631 Jackie, we fell in magical nerd love, 164 00:04:57,665 --> 00:04:58,966 and that lasts forever. 165 00:04:58,999 --> 00:05:00,701 We'll always be in each other's lives. 166 00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:02,870 Promise? Look at me and know this. 167 00:05:02,903 --> 00:05:04,338 I will always... 168 00:05:07,508 --> 00:05:09,142 (LAUGHTER) 169 00:05:09,777 --> 00:05:10,978 Aw, man. 170 00:05:11,011 --> 00:05:12,446 So glad I got another year of this. 171 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:15,816 Gah! I was having a special moment with my special lady! 172 00:05:15,849 --> 00:05:18,619 And now I'm having a special moment with you. 173 00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:20,821 Jackie, do you mind? You're bordering on rude! 174 00:05:20,854 --> 00:05:22,923 I'll see you at lunch, Ad. 175 00:05:22,956 --> 00:05:24,892 My God, I can't wait till you're gone 176 00:05:24,925 --> 00:05:27,060 and I don't have to deal with your stupidity anymore. 177 00:05:27,094 --> 00:05:29,129 (SIGHS) I feel the same way, little buddy. 178 00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:30,297 So, what do you say? 179 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,466 One more for old time's sake? One more what? 180 00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:33,767 ADAM: Hello? 181 00:05:33,801 --> 00:05:35,969 Anyone? Hello? 182 00:05:36,003 --> 00:05:38,506 It's dark in here, and I've lost all sense of time. 183 00:05:39,139 --> 00:05:40,408 (GROANS) 184 00:05:40,441 --> 00:05:42,976 Mr. Goldberg, you're way too big and old 185 00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:44,445 to be playing in the lockers. 186 00:05:44,478 --> 00:05:45,646 Playing? 187 00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:46,847 My stupid brother Barry 188 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:48,281 impressively crammed me in there. 189 00:05:48,315 --> 00:05:50,651 Good news for many is, he's graduating. 190 00:05:50,684 --> 00:05:51,785 He's moving on. 191 00:05:51,819 --> 00:05:52,986 Thank God, but how? 192 00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:55,523 You pass your classes, you do your community service, 193 00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:57,124 boom, done. 194 00:05:57,157 --> 00:06:00,027 To be honest, you just got to keep the herd moving. 195 00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:02,362 Clearly. Barry didn't even do any. 196 00:06:02,396 --> 00:06:05,699 So, you're saying Barry did no community service at all? 197 00:06:05,733 --> 00:06:08,035 (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) I was... I was just kidding. 198 00:06:08,068 --> 00:06:11,939 Um, Barry actually organized a community soup 199 00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:14,174 garden 10k run 200 00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:16,944 for food and, also, blood and shoes. 201 00:06:16,977 --> 00:06:18,145 And comfort dogs. 202 00:06:18,178 --> 00:06:19,480 That's clearly not real. 203 00:06:19,513 --> 00:06:20,614 Clearly. 204 00:06:20,648 --> 00:06:22,450 Please do me a solid, and let's just pretend like 205 00:06:22,483 --> 00:06:23,817 this conversation never happened. 206 00:06:23,851 --> 00:06:26,386 Or do me a solid and tell your brother 207 00:06:26,420 --> 00:06:28,989 if he doesn't complete 100 hours of community service 208 00:06:29,022 --> 00:06:32,159 in the next four days, he doesn't get his diploma. 209 00:06:35,663 --> 00:06:36,897 How's Geoffrey feeling? 210 00:06:36,930 --> 00:06:38,999 Like his body has been ravaged by shingles. 211 00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:40,300 (BREATHES SHARPLY) 212 00:06:40,333 --> 00:06:41,669 That is wonderful news! 213 00:06:41,702 --> 00:06:44,505 The sooner I ask, the sooner I can start regretting asking... 214 00:06:44,538 --> 00:06:46,540 Why is Geoff's pain wonderful news? 215 00:06:46,574 --> 00:06:48,576 You've locked down every yenta's dream. 216 00:06:48,609 --> 00:06:50,844 A man so concerned with your future 217 00:06:50,878 --> 00:06:52,345 that he's made himself sick. 218 00:06:52,379 --> 00:06:54,081 And why exactly is that good? 219 00:06:54,114 --> 00:06:56,717 He loves you so much he's willing to do anything 220 00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,318 to provide for you. 221 00:06:58,351 --> 00:07:00,087 Of course, his stress rashes will continue, 222 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:01,689 and all his hair will fall out, 223 00:07:01,722 --> 00:07:04,992 and his tired body will break till he forms a widow's hump. 224 00:07:05,025 --> 00:07:08,028 Ew. I don't want a rashy bald hunchback for a husband. 225 00:07:08,061 --> 00:07:09,329 You'd be so lucky. 226 00:07:09,362 --> 00:07:12,232 Every day, I thank God that I have a man 227 00:07:12,265 --> 00:07:13,834 who would exhaust himself 228 00:07:13,867 --> 00:07:15,603 into that... (SNORES) 229 00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:17,605 ...for me and this family. 230 00:07:17,638 --> 00:07:20,273 Murray, don't eat Ritz crackers in your sleep! 231 00:07:20,307 --> 00:07:22,510 You'll choke to death! Where were we? 232 00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:24,277 We were just wrapping up your positive spin 233 00:07:24,311 --> 00:07:26,446 on having to watch your husband breathe. 234 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:27,915 Enjoy the rest of your day. 235 00:07:27,948 --> 00:07:31,151 What? (MUTTERING) 236 00:07:34,321 --> 00:07:36,123 Hey, dude. What's all this? 237 00:07:36,156 --> 00:07:38,125 Oh, I'm spending the summer following the Grateful Dead, 238 00:07:38,158 --> 00:07:39,459 so I'm loading up on some GORP. 239 00:07:39,493 --> 00:07:40,728 GORP? "GORP." 240 00:07:40,761 --> 00:07:42,563 Stands for "good old raisins and peanuts." 241 00:07:42,596 --> 00:07:44,064 It's the go-to meal for Deadheads. 242 00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:46,433 So, you're basically living in a van, eating crappy trail mix? 243 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:48,401 Totally. Bad news, bro. 244 00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:50,437 I ate all my GORP. You ate all your GORP? 245 00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:51,872 That was supposed to last all summer! 246 00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:54,107 Coach says we grow from setbacks, so this will be good. 247 00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:57,044 Wait, Ruben Amaro Jr. is following the Dead with you? 248 00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:58,111 I was gonna train all summer 249 00:07:58,145 --> 00:08:00,213 because that's what it takes to go pro, but, man, 250 00:08:00,247 --> 00:08:02,049 I was putting so much stress and pressure on myself, 251 00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:03,884 I was doing crunches in my sleep. 252 00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:05,285 The only crunching we do in my van 253 00:08:05,318 --> 00:08:06,453 is on some sweet GORP. 254 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,589 Lucky for me, Ruben Amaro Sr. was like, 255 00:08:08,622 --> 00:08:12,292 "Hey, Ruben Amaro Jr., Forget the future. Focus on the now." 256 00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:14,427 See, that's exactly what my mom doesn't get. 257 00:08:14,461 --> 00:08:17,765 Geoff needs a summer around spaced-out oddballs in tie-dye 258 00:08:17,798 --> 00:08:19,432 making irresponsible life choices. 259 00:08:19,466 --> 00:08:20,801 Well, if you want to see the country 260 00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:22,002 in the luxury of an un-air-conditioned van, 261 00:08:22,035 --> 00:08:23,170 we got room for two more. 262 00:08:26,439 --> 00:08:28,475 Geoff, stop whatever dumb smart thing you're doing. 263 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,310 Dumb? It's my valedictorian speech. 264 00:08:30,343 --> 00:08:32,112 And, oh, God, I'm so behind schedule! 265 00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:33,681 Let me see. 266 00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:35,649 My Filofax! 267 00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:37,484 Well, put this in your Filofax. 268 00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:38,986 You and me are gonna spend the summer 269 00:08:39,019 --> 00:08:40,821 following the Grateful Dead. Wait, what? 270 00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,422 Look, this year was so hard, 271 00:08:42,455 --> 00:08:43,857 and you got me through it. 272 00:08:43,891 --> 00:08:45,458 So now it's my turn to help you, 273 00:08:45,492 --> 00:08:47,260 and I won't take no for an answer. Yes! 274 00:08:47,294 --> 00:08:49,830 Thank you for freeing me from my Filofax! Let's do this! 275 00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:51,665 For sure! I mean, it's the Grateful Dead. 276 00:08:51,699 --> 00:08:52,766 Yeah, people love them. 277 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:54,501 They do. I mean, I don't. 278 00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,303 Me neither! But they do have that one song. 279 00:08:56,336 --> 00:08:57,838 Exactly. That one's okay. 280 00:08:57,871 --> 00:08:59,172 It's kind of okay. It's okay enough. 281 00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:01,008 Yes! We are going to follow a band 282 00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:02,610 we have mixed feelings about, but who cares? 283 00:09:02,643 --> 00:09:04,344 'Cause I get a break from being me. 284 00:09:05,012 --> 00:09:06,079 (SCREAMS) Shingles! 285 00:09:06,113 --> 00:09:07,881 I'll go stir you up a breakfast bath. Uh-huh. 286 00:09:07,915 --> 00:09:09,983 ADULT ADAM: As Geoff bailed on his big speech, 287 00:09:10,017 --> 00:09:12,052 it was time for me to face my big brother. 288 00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:13,220 Barry, I got to tell you something. 289 00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:14,655 I got to tell you something, too. 290 00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:15,723 Mine's bad, so me first. 291 00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:17,825 No, trust me. Mine's way worse. 292 00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:20,027 So shut your face and sit down. 293 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,829 I've realized something huge today 294 00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:23,964 when I went back to the locker I stuffed you in. 295 00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:26,233 To let me out? To fart through the air vents. 296 00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:27,334 But you were gone 297 00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:28,501 and then it hit me. 298 00:09:28,535 --> 00:09:30,337 Somehow Matt Bradley was right. 299 00:09:30,370 --> 00:09:31,672 (SLOW MUSIC PLAYS) All these years, 300 00:09:31,705 --> 00:09:34,074 I've been wedging underwear in your butt crack 301 00:09:34,107 --> 00:09:36,309 when I should have been wedging love 302 00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:37,510 in your heart crack. 303 00:09:37,544 --> 00:09:39,179 Which is why I need you to know 304 00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:42,015 I love you, bro, with all my heart. 305 00:09:42,049 --> 00:09:44,517 Ooh, wow. (MUSIC DISTORTS, STOPS) 306 00:09:44,551 --> 00:09:47,487 This is super bad timing. Here's the thing. 307 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:49,790 I told the principal that you never did your community service, 308 00:09:49,823 --> 00:09:51,892 which means you can't graduate until you make up the hours, 309 00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,493 which is impossible, given the time frame. 310 00:09:53,526 --> 00:09:55,395 What? So I can't graduate? 311 00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:56,563 Calm down. 312 00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:57,731 I'll help you find a way 313 00:09:57,765 --> 00:09:59,332 to do your community service this week. 314 00:09:59,366 --> 00:10:02,502 I owe 100 hours, dude! Doesn't matter. 315 00:10:02,535 --> 00:10:04,872 We've gotten out of bigger jams than this. When? 316 00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:07,040 I helped you win the talent show with Kara-te, 317 00:10:07,074 --> 00:10:09,242 and we rapped to Beastie Boys at the pep rally, 318 00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:11,011 and we wrote our own kick-ass version 319 00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:12,412 of We Didn't Start The Fire! 320 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:13,546 We have worked well together. 321 00:10:13,580 --> 00:10:15,716 We just have to plan a blowout charity event, 322 00:10:15,749 --> 00:10:17,517 like in the movies. Yes! 323 00:10:17,550 --> 00:10:19,920 Use your stupid love of movies to save me. 324 00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:22,022 ADULT ADAM: Yes, the movies, and there was only one 325 00:10:22,055 --> 00:10:25,325 logical choice guaranteed to get Barry out of this jam. 326 00:10:25,358 --> 00:10:26,593 Are you familiar with the movie 327 00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,228 Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo? 328 00:10:28,261 --> 00:10:31,264 ADULT ADAM: Yep, the '80s didn't just give us sick break-dancing moves. 329 00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:33,767 It gave us even sicker break-dancing movies. 330 00:10:33,801 --> 00:10:36,904 What if there was a way I could host a charity fundraiser 331 00:10:36,937 --> 00:10:41,608 that is guaranteed to raise $30,000 in one night? 332 00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:44,377 That's right. We're uniting all the greatest break-dancers 333 00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:45,445 from all the greatest 334 00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:47,047 break-dancing movies ever released. 335 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:48,882 There's only four, but we're gonna get 336 00:10:48,916 --> 00:10:50,350 the best of those nine guys. 337 00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:52,219 We're talking the boys from Breakin', 338 00:10:52,252 --> 00:10:53,754 the crew from Krush Groove, 339 00:10:53,787 --> 00:10:56,323 the pop-'n'-lock posse from Beat Street. 340 00:10:56,356 --> 00:10:58,091 You can deliver the cardboard gymnasts 341 00:10:58,125 --> 00:10:59,359 from Beat Street? 342 00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:01,594 No, that's where Ms. Cinoman comes in. It's true, Earl. 343 00:11:01,628 --> 00:11:04,431 Many moons ago, I spent three passionate weeks 344 00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:06,333 with a physically expressive young dancer 345 00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:07,467 by the name of Turbo. 346 00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:08,969 Turbo? 347 00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:11,538 You mean the lead street stylist of the movie Breakin'? 348 00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:13,841 Indeed. Even though it's wildly upsetting 349 00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:17,177 that teachers have lives outside these hallways, 350 00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:21,381 we have access to Turbo, which means we have everyone. 351 00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:22,615 If you can pull this off, 352 00:11:22,649 --> 00:11:25,352 the community service hours you owe will be fulfilled. 353 00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:28,055 If we get Turbo, the rest will follow. 354 00:11:29,156 --> 00:11:31,024 Mostly because they don't work a lot. 355 00:11:31,058 --> 00:11:32,926 ADULT ADAM: Erica was gearing up to dance the summer away 356 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:34,194 with the Grateful Dead, 357 00:11:34,227 --> 00:11:35,963 but not everyone was feeling the music. 358 00:11:35,996 --> 00:11:37,497 There is no way I'm gonna let you 359 00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:39,499 ramble around the country all summer in a van! 360 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:42,202 And all for some stupid hippie music! 361 00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:44,537 Do you both realize how much I hate hippies? 362 00:11:44,571 --> 00:11:47,374 Are you happy? You just got your father all worked up about hippies. 363 00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:50,210 To be clear, I'm not asking. I'm telling. 364 00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:52,345 I'm an adult who no longer needs your permission. 365 00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:53,413 Peace. 366 00:11:53,446 --> 00:11:56,449 How dare you use logic and facts against us? 367 00:11:56,483 --> 00:11:58,318 Stupid hippies! Damn it, Murray. 368 00:11:58,351 --> 00:12:00,620 You stopped listening the minute you heard the word "hippie." 369 00:12:00,653 --> 00:12:02,722 I did. What did I miss? It's fine. 370 00:12:02,756 --> 00:12:04,524 Erica may not listen to her parents, 371 00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:07,795 but Geoff is a good boy who always listens to his. 372 00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:10,197 Howdy. Peace, love. 373 00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:11,899 What the hell is on your bodies right now? 374 00:12:11,932 --> 00:12:13,901 This is what you call a tied-dye. 375 00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:15,836 Geoff made it for us in a tub in the backyard. 376 00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:18,305 So, I take it Geoff told you about the silly road trip? 377 00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:19,506 Actually, it was Erica, 378 00:12:19,539 --> 00:12:21,241 and we think it's a wonderful idea. 379 00:12:21,274 --> 00:12:23,210 'Sup? All I had to do to convince them 380 00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:25,312 that Geoff needed a break was show them his Filofax. 381 00:12:25,345 --> 00:12:28,215 You live your life to the fullest this summer, boichik. 382 00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:30,750 Do it for all the stressed-out Schwartz men 383 00:12:30,784 --> 00:12:32,185 who came before you. 384 00:12:32,219 --> 00:12:34,888 Erica, the nerve of you going behind my back 385 00:12:34,922 --> 00:12:36,423 before I went behind yours! 386 00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:39,392 ADULT ADAM: And so, Erica's summer on the road was still trucking. 387 00:12:39,426 --> 00:12:41,028 As for me and my brother, we were on the road 388 00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:42,195 to break-dancing glory. 389 00:12:42,229 --> 00:12:43,430 What's this, gentlemen? 390 00:12:43,463 --> 00:12:45,232 It's the classic break-dance movie 391 00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:46,867 fundraising thermometer. 392 00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:49,102 It tells the audience how much money we raised 393 00:12:49,136 --> 00:12:50,537 to save our community center 394 00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:52,039 or, in this case, my diploma. 395 00:12:52,072 --> 00:12:54,041 By chance, did you spend any of the last few days 396 00:12:54,074 --> 00:12:55,642 practicing actual break-dancing 397 00:12:55,675 --> 00:12:57,277 instead of building the giant thermometer? 398 00:12:57,310 --> 00:12:58,812 Nah, we're gonna leave that magic up 399 00:12:58,846 --> 00:13:00,713 to your intimate pal Turbo and his friends. 400 00:13:00,747 --> 00:13:01,915 Don't get me wrong. 401 00:13:01,949 --> 00:13:04,952 I am a way better break-dancer than all those fools combined, 402 00:13:04,985 --> 00:13:06,119 but I don't want to show them up. 403 00:13:06,153 --> 00:13:07,754 Well, great news. 404 00:13:07,787 --> 00:13:09,356 Now you get the chance to shine 405 00:13:09,389 --> 00:13:11,091 because none of those world-famous break-dancers 406 00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,292 will be joining us tonight. 407 00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:13,560 What? But you said, 408 00:13:13,593 --> 00:13:15,462 if we got Turbo, the rest will follow. 409 00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:18,465 Turns out the man I had a dalliance with that summer 410 00:13:18,498 --> 00:13:20,968 was not, in fact, Turbo from Breakin' 2. 411 00:13:21,001 --> 00:13:22,970 It has been confirmed via phone 412 00:13:23,003 --> 00:13:24,905 that his name is actually D'Andre, 413 00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:26,106 and he's a liar. 414 00:13:26,139 --> 00:13:28,641 Does D'Andre know Turbo? 415 00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:30,911 He does not. Oh, balls! 416 00:13:30,944 --> 00:13:32,279 This is all your fault! 417 00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:35,048 No, no. It's just a setback, but like always, 418 00:13:35,082 --> 00:13:36,449 we'll win over the crowd. 419 00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:37,817 So, take my hand 420 00:13:37,851 --> 00:13:39,953 and do the wave like you've never waved before 421 00:13:39,987 --> 00:13:41,922 'cause this right here, right now, 422 00:13:41,955 --> 00:13:43,590 is our last great high-school adventure. 423 00:13:43,623 --> 00:13:44,657 You're right! 424 00:13:44,691 --> 00:13:46,726 Time to fill up that cardboard thermometer 425 00:13:46,759 --> 00:13:49,262 with $30,000. 426 00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:52,432 ADULT ADAM: My last adventure with Barry would be the stuff of legend. 427 00:13:52,465 --> 00:13:55,435 As for Erica and Geoff, their first road trip was about to hit a detour. 428 00:13:55,468 --> 00:13:56,503 JOHNNY: 'Sup, bozos? 429 00:13:56,536 --> 00:13:58,805 I'm off to follow Rush around Canada this summer, 430 00:13:58,838 --> 00:14:00,740 and your hot mom offered to make me homemade BORP. 431 00:14:00,773 --> 00:14:02,342 BORP? I thought it was GORP? 432 00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:04,811 No, this is BORP. 433 00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:06,779 Beverly's Ol' Raisins and Peanuts. 434 00:14:06,813 --> 00:14:10,017 I also added M&M'S, caramel chips, and Skittles. 435 00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:11,351 That goes against everything 436 00:14:11,384 --> 00:14:13,086 that a good, healthy GORP stands for! 437 00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:14,454 What's your game, woman? 438 00:14:14,487 --> 00:14:15,788 No game. 439 00:14:15,822 --> 00:14:18,358 But, hey, since your friend's here, 440 00:14:18,391 --> 00:14:20,961 why doesn't he tell Geoff what van life is like? 441 00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:23,163 In a word, chaos. 442 00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,764 Oh, no! That's my least favorite word! 443 00:14:24,797 --> 00:14:27,167 Dude, my mom's just trying to scare you. It'll be fine. 444 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,435 It will not be fine. 445 00:14:28,468 --> 00:14:30,003 Every day, you face a new disaster... No. 446 00:14:30,037 --> 00:14:32,139 ...like flat tires and traffic jams 447 00:14:32,172 --> 00:14:34,507 and petty theft and motorcycle gangs and snakes. 448 00:14:34,541 --> 00:14:36,543 Oh, no! Snakes and also, all the other things you said! 449 00:14:36,576 --> 00:14:38,311 Tell them about the bathrooms, Johnny. 450 00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:40,180 This bad boy goes where I go. 451 00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:41,281 I'm out. Can't do it. 452 00:14:41,314 --> 00:14:43,050 Trust me, this is a good thing. 453 00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:44,684 Not the poop shovel, but the road trip. 454 00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:45,752 You need this. 455 00:14:45,785 --> 00:14:47,154 I can't do it, Erica. 456 00:14:47,187 --> 00:14:48,488 I know you said I shouldn't stress 457 00:14:48,521 --> 00:14:50,223 about our future, but I do. 458 00:14:50,257 --> 00:14:51,558 This is who I am. 459 00:14:51,591 --> 00:14:53,560 I gotta go write my speech. 460 00:14:53,593 --> 00:14:56,196 I know you're hopping mad, but you gotta trust Mama. 461 00:14:56,229 --> 00:14:57,330 This is for the best. 462 00:14:57,364 --> 00:14:58,565 Not for Geoff. 463 00:14:58,598 --> 00:15:01,034 I wish you could stop being so selfish and see that. 464 00:15:01,068 --> 00:15:02,970 Schmoopaloo! 465 00:15:03,003 --> 00:15:04,671 Thanks again for the BORP, Mrs. G. 466 00:15:04,704 --> 00:15:06,506 I can tell it's made with love by a hot mom. 467 00:15:06,539 --> 00:15:08,475 ADULT ADAM: As my smother finally shut down Erica, 468 00:15:08,508 --> 00:15:10,377 we were pumping up the crowd. 469 00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:12,145 It was our last great high-school adventure, 470 00:15:12,179 --> 00:15:13,546 and just like in Breakin' 2, 471 00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:16,183 our charity fundraiser would easily save the day. 472 00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:18,118 Breakin'... 2! 473 00:15:18,151 --> 00:15:19,419 BOTH: Electric Boogaloo! 474 00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:20,553 ADULT ADAM: Or not. 475 00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:22,489 Barry kind of did the worm. 476 00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:24,324 I sort of did the windmill. 477 00:15:24,357 --> 00:15:27,294 And we both did whatever this is. 478 00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:30,597 How exactly did you date him after me? 479 00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:32,432 Hey, we're like soul mates. 480 00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:36,836 But, yeah, I kind of wish I had graduated before this happened. 481 00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:38,105 ADULT ADAM: Thankfully, no one seemed 482 00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:39,772 to notice the absence of Turbo. Ow! 483 00:15:39,806 --> 00:15:41,941 Where's Turbo? We were promised Turbo! 484 00:15:41,975 --> 00:15:43,910 AUDIENCE: (CHANTING) Turbo! Turbo! Turbo! 485 00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,112 (GROANS) 486 00:15:45,145 --> 00:15:47,047 It's charity having to look at this! 487 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,582 At what point do we win them over, like we always do? 488 00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:51,951 We don't! Our last adventure's an utter failure! 489 00:15:51,985 --> 00:15:53,420 Break-dance retreat! 490 00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,288 ADULT ADAM: And so we roboted to safety, 491 00:15:55,322 --> 00:15:58,391 having raised a whopping $3 for charity, 492 00:15:58,425 --> 00:15:59,759 but maybe it would be enough. 493 00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,328 You promised Turbo. 494 00:16:01,361 --> 00:16:02,429 ADULT ADAM: It was not. 495 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:04,297 You can walk at graduation, 496 00:16:04,331 --> 00:16:05,898 but you don't actually graduate 497 00:16:05,932 --> 00:16:07,700 till that community service is done. 498 00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:09,669 (GROANING) Aw. 499 00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:11,438 ADULT ADAM: Now that my mom had put the brakes 500 00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:12,672 on my sister's road trip, 501 00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:15,275 Geoff was back to gearing up for his graduation speech. 502 00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:16,809 Hey, Mrs. G. Erica around? 503 00:16:16,843 --> 00:16:18,745 I wouldn't know. She's not speaking to me. 504 00:16:18,778 --> 00:16:20,413 Yeah, she's not exactly pleased with me either 505 00:16:20,447 --> 00:16:22,082 since I bailed on our van trip. 506 00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:23,483 But I was really hoping she'd give me 507 00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:24,684 some notes on my speech. 508 00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:26,386 Well, if you want a painfully honest, 509 00:16:26,419 --> 00:16:28,655 no-holds-barred opinion, I'm right here. 510 00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:30,790 ADULT ADAM: Since my mom was the one that put Geoff back on track, 511 00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:32,892 she knew it was her job to help him. 512 00:16:32,925 --> 00:16:35,795 Webster's Dictionary defines "Webster" as a sitcom 513 00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:37,997 about an adorable, pocket-sized boy. 514 00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:39,032 Hold for laughter. 515 00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,902 You know, if there's one thing that this school's done for me, 516 00:16:42,935 --> 00:16:45,605 it's (SNORTS) helped me find my voice. 517 00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:46,706 My throat is dry. 518 00:16:48,041 --> 00:16:50,143 In the immortal words of Mahatma Gandhi, 519 00:16:50,177 --> 00:16:52,312 is it me or is it hot in here? 520 00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:53,613 Gandhi did not said that. 521 00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:55,982 I said that because I'm drenched in fear right now. 522 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:57,384 Although he could have said that. 523 00:16:57,417 --> 00:16:59,319 We don't know. He was hot in India. 524 00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:02,989 So, in conclusion, I ask you, do you see floating spots? 525 00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:05,392 'Cause there's, like, so many. 526 00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:07,094 (THUDS) Any notes? 527 00:17:07,127 --> 00:17:09,796 Erica Goldberg, get down here! It's an emergency! 528 00:17:09,829 --> 00:17:11,498 Oh, no! Get away from the boy! 529 00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:13,100 It's okay. She was just giving me notes. 530 00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:14,767 And here it is. 531 00:17:14,801 --> 00:17:16,369 Take this sack of stress, 532 00:17:16,403 --> 00:17:18,371 pull him into that disgusting van, 533 00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:20,707 and follow those hippies around for the whole summer. 534 00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:22,842 Are you serious? You were right. 535 00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:24,211 If you really love someone, 536 00:17:24,244 --> 00:17:26,579 you've got to do everything you can to make them happy. 537 00:17:26,613 --> 00:17:27,780 Well, then, screw it. 538 00:17:27,814 --> 00:17:29,349 I'm gonna go pack some clothes and buy a potty shovel. 539 00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:30,650 But what about your speech? 540 00:17:30,683 --> 00:17:31,951 Someone else can give it! 541 00:17:31,984 --> 00:17:33,052 I'm going to see the Dead, 542 00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:34,521 and I'm sort of excited about it. 543 00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,889 ADULT ADAM: In the end, my mom did help Geoff. 544 00:17:36,923 --> 00:17:38,057 And that graduation day, 545 00:17:38,091 --> 00:17:41,161 he finally wasn't so scared about the future. 546 00:17:41,194 --> 00:17:43,363 Thank you, Quakers Dozen. 547 00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:45,365 ADULT ADAM: But for Barry, a graduation with no diploma 548 00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:46,466 was less than thrilling. 549 00:17:46,499 --> 00:17:48,034 Normally, this is the point 550 00:17:48,067 --> 00:17:50,870 where we ask our valedictorian to speak, 551 00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:52,705 but he has instead decided 552 00:17:52,739 --> 00:17:54,974 to follow the Grateful Dead in a van. 553 00:17:55,007 --> 00:17:58,077 Whoo! Thank you, Goldbergs! Hi, Erica! 554 00:17:58,111 --> 00:18:00,980 So, for the first time in William Penn's storied history, 555 00:18:01,013 --> 00:18:03,150 we have no valedictory speech. 556 00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:05,352 Not so fast! I got tons of stuff to say. 557 00:18:05,385 --> 00:18:06,553 Ah. (BLEEP) 558 00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,821 Mr. Goldberg, there is absolutely no world 559 00:18:08,855 --> 00:18:10,223 in which I would let you touch the mic... 560 00:18:10,257 --> 00:18:13,593 Thank you for those kind words, sir. 561 00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:15,162 Oh, this just got good. 562 00:18:15,195 --> 00:18:17,664 Welcome, parents, fellow students, 563 00:18:17,697 --> 00:18:20,133 esteemed faculty, JTP. 564 00:18:20,167 --> 00:18:21,234 ALL: JTP. 565 00:18:21,268 --> 00:18:22,435 I'm Barry Goldberg. 566 00:18:22,469 --> 00:18:23,770 You might know me from the time 567 00:18:23,803 --> 00:18:26,273 my mom bodyslammed me at a wrestling tournament. 568 00:18:26,306 --> 00:18:27,440 (GRUNTS) 569 00:18:27,474 --> 00:18:28,841 Or when I showed up to school 570 00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:30,277 dressed as Boy George. 571 00:18:32,078 --> 00:18:35,014 Or last night when I put on a break-dancing show 572 00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:36,949 that had some very mixed reviews. 573 00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:42,088 But that's the amazing thing about this school. 574 00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:43,890 Every time I fell, 575 00:18:43,923 --> 00:18:46,559 there was always someone there to pick me up. 576 00:18:46,593 --> 00:18:49,229 I learned a lot here, but mostly, 577 00:18:49,262 --> 00:18:53,099 this place taught me to never be afraid to fail, 578 00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:56,469 and I know everyone sitting behind me feels the same way. 579 00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:59,739 CHOIR: * Well, we know where we're going... * 580 00:18:59,772 --> 00:19:01,441 Would you look at that? 581 00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,310 Our moron did good. 582 00:19:03,343 --> 00:19:05,378 Well, I'd say that speech was some of the best 583 00:19:05,412 --> 00:19:06,979 community service I've ever seen. 584 00:19:07,013 --> 00:19:09,916 (CHUCKLES) Go join your classmates. 585 00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:11,984 It's time to get your diploma, Mr. Goldberg. 586 00:19:12,018 --> 00:19:15,755 * And we're not little children 587 00:19:15,788 --> 00:19:20,126 * And we know what we want * 588 00:19:20,159 --> 00:19:23,830 ADULT ADAM: Barry Norman Goldberg, high-school graduate. 589 00:19:23,863 --> 00:19:25,998 Turns out my brother was right. 590 00:19:26,032 --> 00:19:27,767 It really was the end of an era, 591 00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:30,237 and man, it went by in a flash. 592 00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:33,005 The nerdy love of my life was about to go off to college 593 00:19:33,039 --> 00:19:35,007 and start a new nerdy life without me. 594 00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:36,809 As for Barry and his friends, it seemed like 595 00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:39,078 their high-school adventures would never end, 596 00:19:39,111 --> 00:19:41,180 but in a blink, they were all grown up 597 00:19:41,214 --> 00:19:42,615 and ready for the future. 598 00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:44,651 Kind of reminds me of something my dad used to say, 599 00:19:44,684 --> 00:19:47,086 "The days are long, but the years are short." 600 00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:48,755 And watching my brother and his friends 601 00:19:48,788 --> 00:19:50,156 celebrate on that stage, 602 00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,292 I finally understand what he meant. 603 00:19:52,325 --> 00:19:53,860 I know I always said I couldn't wait 604 00:19:53,893 --> 00:19:55,161 till Barry left for college, 605 00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:57,063 but the truth is, 606 00:19:57,096 --> 00:19:58,998 he was my best friend, and I'd miss him. 607 00:19:59,666 --> 00:20:01,133 But that's life. 608 00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:02,669 One era had ended, 609 00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:05,972 but an even better one was about to begin. 610 00:20:06,005 --> 00:20:08,007 Well, we're off, but don't worry, sir. 611 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,009 I'll take great care of her, always. 612 00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:13,145 Yeah, but she'll take even better care of you. 613 00:20:13,179 --> 00:20:14,847 Got you something for your trip. 614 00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:15,982 What is this thing? 615 00:20:16,015 --> 00:20:17,650 BEVERLY: It's called a mobile telephone device. 616 00:20:17,684 --> 00:20:20,152 ADULT ADAM: That summer, we all grew up more than we expected. 617 00:20:20,186 --> 00:20:22,054 You're gonna call me every hour on the hour. 618 00:20:22,088 --> 00:20:24,056 My mom learned to let go a little bit more. 619 00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:26,259 Erica finally had a plan to go back to school. 620 00:20:26,293 --> 00:20:29,195 And, for once, Geoff didn't have a plan at all. 621 00:20:29,228 --> 00:20:30,863 Let's ride. (ALL CHEER) 622 00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:33,533 ADULT ADAM: Next year, we were all headed into uncharted territory, 623 00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:36,202 but turns out it'll be the greatest year of my life. 624 00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:37,670 Of course, when I look back, 625 00:20:37,704 --> 00:20:39,238 I don't always get the details right, 626 00:20:39,272 --> 00:20:40,407 but there's one thing I do know. 627 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:43,776 It was 1980-something, and it was perfect. 628 00:20:48,881 --> 00:20:49,916 (DINGS) 629 00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:51,918 WOMAN: Comment from Adam? 630 00:20:51,951 --> 00:20:53,219 MAN: Let's focus on that zit. 631 00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:55,722 I wish him, brother... MAN: Battery's gone dead. 632 00:20:55,755 --> 00:20:57,023 What's all this nerdry? 633 00:20:57,056 --> 00:20:58,190 Jackie's off to college, 634 00:20:58,224 --> 00:20:59,592 so I'm putting together a care package. 635 00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:01,761 We're being super mature about her leaving 636 00:21:01,794 --> 00:21:02,929 and taking it as it goes. 637 00:21:02,962 --> 00:21:04,531 That'll never work! 638 00:21:04,564 --> 00:21:07,734 Trust me, what you need is my foolproof plan 639 00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:09,736 that guarantees you guys end up together. 640 00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:10,937 Grab a pen. No. 641 00:21:10,970 --> 00:21:12,505 First, you go to college pre-med. 642 00:21:12,539 --> 00:21:14,741 Once you graduate, there's medical school, 643 00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:16,776 an internship, residency, 644 00:21:16,809 --> 00:21:18,945 and, boom, I'm a radiologist! 645 00:21:18,978 --> 00:21:21,213 At some point during the 1990s, 646 00:21:21,247 --> 00:21:23,282 you visit her at her place of business 647 00:21:23,316 --> 00:21:24,551 and wow Lainey 648 00:21:24,584 --> 00:21:26,085 with the impressive adult you've become. 649 00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:28,455 You just said "Lainey". This is clearly your plan. 650 00:21:28,488 --> 00:21:30,122 Do you like it? I think it's half-baked 651 00:21:30,156 --> 00:21:31,491 and highly unlikely to succeed.