1 00:00:01,302 --> 00:00:03,104 ADULT ADAM: Ah, the holidays. 2 00:00:03,171 --> 00:00:05,573 A time for families to come together and celebrate the season. 3 00:00:05,639 --> 00:00:08,008 For some, it was about finding the perfect tree. 4 00:00:08,076 --> 00:00:09,843 For others, it was about the presents 5 00:00:09,910 --> 00:00:11,545 you'd unwrap on Christmas morning. 6 00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:14,282 But for me, it was about the movies. 7 00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:15,649 One for A Christmas Story, please. 8 00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:16,850 One for Scrooged, please. 9 00:00:16,917 --> 00:00:18,252 One for Christmas Vacation, please. 10 00:00:18,319 --> 00:00:19,920 One for Ernest Saves Christmas, please. 11 00:00:19,987 --> 00:00:21,389 Sorry, it's sold out. 12 00:00:21,455 --> 00:00:22,523 Damn it, no! 13 00:00:22,590 --> 00:00:24,192 I know Ernest saves Christmas, but how? 14 00:00:24,258 --> 00:00:26,260 It's one of life's big questions. Next! 15 00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:27,461 Bro, help me out here. 16 00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,863 I'm jonesing for a warm, fuzzy holiday flick. 17 00:00:29,930 --> 00:00:31,099 Anything else fit the bill? 18 00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:32,766 I don't know, man. That one? 19 00:00:32,833 --> 00:00:35,803 ADULT ADAM: That day, I discovered the holiday's greatest hero... 20 00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:37,271 John McClane. 21 00:00:37,338 --> 00:00:38,439 Die Hard? 22 00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:40,441 How is that a holiday movie? 23 00:00:40,508 --> 00:00:41,575 It takes place at Christmas? 24 00:00:41,642 --> 00:00:43,043 Eh, I'll give it a shot. 25 00:00:43,111 --> 00:00:45,579 Do you really think you have a chance against us, Mr. Cowboy? 26 00:00:45,646 --> 00:00:47,748 Yippee ki yay, (BLEEP). 27 00:00:47,815 --> 00:00:49,417 (LAUGHING) 28 00:00:49,483 --> 00:00:52,720 Best. Christmas. Movie. Ever! 29 00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:55,589 ADULT ADAM: I ended up seeing Die Hard six times in the theater. 30 00:00:55,656 --> 00:00:58,058 And then, like any movie-obsessed geek in the '80s, 31 00:00:58,126 --> 00:01:00,994 I patiently waited for it to premiere on network TV. 32 00:01:01,061 --> 00:01:03,231 Guys, here it comes, the greatest line in anything ever. 33 00:01:03,297 --> 00:01:05,833 Do you really think you have a chance against us, Mr. Cowboy? 34 00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:07,601 Yippee ki yay, (DUBBED) melon farmer. 35 00:01:07,668 --> 00:01:11,004 ADULT ADAM: Sadly, network TV meant dubbing over all the swear words. 36 00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,106 "Melon farmer"? 37 00:01:12,173 --> 00:01:13,441 What the hell's a melon farmer? 38 00:01:13,507 --> 00:01:15,109 Someone who farms melons. 39 00:01:15,176 --> 00:01:17,845 You think someone's sole profession is farming melons? 40 00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:19,113 Only melons? 41 00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:20,314 Forget the melon farming! 42 00:01:20,381 --> 00:01:21,549 They changed it for TV. 43 00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:24,452 Al, listen to me. Nobody farms just melons. 44 00:01:24,518 --> 00:01:26,787 Melons and grapes, maybe. But not just melons. 45 00:01:26,854 --> 00:01:27,955 That's ridiculous. 46 00:01:28,021 --> 00:01:29,457 Well, what do you know from melons? 47 00:01:29,523 --> 00:01:30,791 Oh, I know melons. 48 00:01:30,858 --> 00:01:32,826 I got a beautiful cantaloupe cut up in the fridge. 49 00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:35,129 Cantaloupe? Of all the melons, 50 00:01:35,196 --> 00:01:36,697 that's the one you go with? 51 00:01:36,764 --> 00:01:38,031 You got a better melon? 52 00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,700 Honeydew. Honeydew? 53 00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:41,202 (CHUCKLES) That's madness. 54 00:01:41,269 --> 00:01:45,038 Hey, Bevy, bring your father a forkful of that cantaloupe. 55 00:01:45,105 --> 00:01:46,707 Somebody call for a forkful of cantaloupe? 56 00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:48,842 I'm getting sick and tired of the melon talk. 57 00:01:48,909 --> 00:01:50,711 Eat the forkful, Al. You'll see what I mean. 58 00:01:50,778 --> 00:01:52,713 Oh, that is good. 59 00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:55,649 Enough with the melons. Just watch the movie. 60 00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:58,319 Admit it. Admit I was right about the cantaloupe. 61 00:01:58,386 --> 00:02:00,488 Well, I came to the dance with Honeydew, 62 00:02:00,554 --> 00:02:02,856 but it looks like I'm going home with Cantaloupe. 63 00:02:02,923 --> 00:02:04,192 Forget the melon! 64 00:02:04,258 --> 00:02:05,926 Nothing like a nice cantaloupe, am I right? 65 00:02:05,993 --> 00:02:07,361 That's a nice melon. 66 00:02:07,428 --> 00:02:09,363 I am so proud of that melon. It's a nice melon. 67 00:02:09,430 --> 00:02:12,400 Gah! You stupid melon farmers are ruining this movie! 68 00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:14,535 Mmm, that is so yummy. 69 00:02:14,602 --> 00:02:15,736 Hey, pass me some of that cantaloupe. 70 00:02:17,104 --> 00:02:18,972 * I'm twisted up inside 71 00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:22,210 * But nonetheless I feel the need to say 72 00:02:25,045 --> 00:02:26,514 * I don't know the future 73 00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:30,251 * But the past keeps getting clearer every day * 74 00:02:30,318 --> 00:02:32,186 ADULT ADAM: It was December 1980-something, 75 00:02:32,253 --> 00:02:34,988 and like always, my mom was prepping for the holidays. 76 00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:37,358 Feliz Navidad, suckers! 77 00:02:37,425 --> 00:02:39,327 What the heck is on your delicious little body? 78 00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:40,494 What does it look like? 79 00:02:40,561 --> 00:02:41,929 Now that I'm engaged to Lainey, 80 00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:43,597 I get to be a Christmas fella. 81 00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:45,899 Oh, lucky! Such a magical season. 82 00:02:45,966 --> 00:02:47,735 Well, you know what's really magical? 83 00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:50,704 Hanukkah candles and spinning tops 84 00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:52,873 and endless bowls... 85 00:02:52,940 --> 00:02:54,408 Of sour cream. 86 00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:55,576 Sour cream sucks. 87 00:02:55,643 --> 00:02:56,944 Boo. That made me sadder. 88 00:02:57,010 --> 00:02:59,179 Well, as long as you live under my Santa-less roof, 89 00:02:59,247 --> 00:03:01,715 you are a Hanukkah boy and always will be. 90 00:03:01,782 --> 00:03:03,351 No! My whole life, 91 00:03:03,417 --> 00:03:06,119 I've lived in the only dark, undecorated house on the block. 92 00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:07,421 Now, thanks to Lainey, 93 00:03:07,488 --> 00:03:09,723 I get to soak in how the Christmas half lives. 94 00:03:09,790 --> 00:03:11,925 I don't care if you marry the Pope's sister. 95 00:03:11,992 --> 00:03:15,263 The only thing you're gonna be soaking in is this. 96 00:03:15,329 --> 00:03:16,597 (SWEATER CLICKS) 97 00:03:16,664 --> 00:03:19,433 (I HAVE A LITTLE DREIDEL PLAYS) 98 00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:21,769 (SWEATER CLICKS) (WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS PLAYS) 99 00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:24,305 (BOTH SONGS PLAY SIMULTANEOUSLY) 100 00:03:27,508 --> 00:03:29,443 Oh, man! They're having a holiday sweater-off. 101 00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:31,078 Calm down, Geoff. 102 00:03:31,144 --> 00:03:32,713 This may be the least important thing that's ever happened. 103 00:03:32,780 --> 00:03:34,114 (ZAPPING) 104 00:03:34,181 --> 00:03:35,549 Hey! Ow! Ow! 105 00:03:35,616 --> 00:03:37,385 (MUSIC STOPS) No! 106 00:03:37,451 --> 00:03:38,919 ADULT ADAM: Yep, it looked like my brother's Christmas wishes 107 00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:40,153 would be granted, 108 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,255 or so he thought. 109 00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:43,391 Holy crap. 110 00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:44,958 This place looks so sad. 111 00:03:45,025 --> 00:03:46,427 What am I looking at right now? 112 00:03:46,494 --> 00:03:48,562 Just Boggle night. C-A-T, cat. 113 00:03:48,629 --> 00:03:50,097 Way to go, Billy boy! Damn it. 114 00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:51,299 I'm confused. 115 00:03:51,365 --> 00:03:54,167 Where's the tree and lights and presents 116 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,836 and three ZZ Top-looking dudes 117 00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:57,671 handing out Frankenstein and Myrth? 118 00:03:57,738 --> 00:04:00,107 Yeah, in our family, we don't really do any of the yuletide festivities. 119 00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:01,842 Or mention the word. You mean "Christmas"? 120 00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:03,844 Shh! Don't say the "C" word. 121 00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:05,012 Why can't I say "Christmas"? 122 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,314 Oh, God. Christmas. 123 00:04:06,380 --> 00:04:08,449 Damn you, Pookie! You broke my heart. 124 00:04:08,516 --> 00:04:09,850 Hello, remember? 125 00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:11,952 Christmas Eve is the night my mom skipped out on us. 126 00:04:12,019 --> 00:04:14,154 Ever since that night, we don't do anything for the holiday. 127 00:04:14,221 --> 00:04:16,357 Not even putting presents in the chimney 128 00:04:16,424 --> 00:04:17,991 or leaving cookies in your bed 129 00:04:18,058 --> 00:04:20,060 for Santa and his wife, Christmas Carol? 130 00:04:20,127 --> 00:04:22,129 Wow, you really know nothing about Christmas. 131 00:04:22,195 --> 00:04:23,497 Obviously! 132 00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:25,799 This was finally my chance to eat gingerbread people 133 00:04:25,866 --> 00:04:27,335 and make out under the kissy leaf. 134 00:04:27,401 --> 00:04:29,002 We may not have gingerbread, 135 00:04:29,069 --> 00:04:31,138 but we got beanies and weenies on the stove. 136 00:04:31,204 --> 00:04:32,540 Sit tight. 137 00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:34,308 You're eating beans for Christmas? And weenies? 138 00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:35,509 This sucks! 139 00:04:35,576 --> 00:04:37,277 Why do I have to marry into the one family 140 00:04:37,345 --> 00:04:38,679 that refuses to do Christmas? 141 00:04:38,746 --> 00:04:40,213 Yeah, I'm sorry my mom abandoned me, 142 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,550 causing a lifetime of turmoil for my dad and I 143 00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:44,618 and slightly inconveniencing your holiday plans. 144 00:04:44,685 --> 00:04:46,887 In time, I feel like it'll get easier for me. 145 00:04:46,954 --> 00:04:49,222 Ugh, bad news. 146 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:52,560 Had a case of the sads last night and ate all the weenies. 147 00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:54,194 But we got beans galore! 148 00:04:54,261 --> 00:04:55,829 Merry Boggle Night, Bar. 149 00:04:55,896 --> 00:04:57,064 ** 150 00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,231 Merry Boggle Night. 151 00:04:58,298 --> 00:04:59,933 All the spoons are dirty. 152 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,769 ADULT ADAM: While Barry was "boggled" by Lainey's Christmas, 153 00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:05,005 at our house, the holidays always brought a special visitor. 154 00:05:05,072 --> 00:05:07,675 Uncle Marvin! Sweet ride. 155 00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:10,210 It's called a Mi-ya-ta! 156 00:05:10,277 --> 00:05:12,680 It's what the Hollywood Reporter calls 157 00:05:12,746 --> 00:05:14,314 "safe for its size." 158 00:05:14,382 --> 00:05:16,550 Since when do you read the Hollywood Reporter? 159 00:05:16,617 --> 00:05:19,887 Ever since your uncle became a big TV star. What? 160 00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:21,154 Let's just say that recently 161 00:05:21,221 --> 00:05:23,323 I looked directly down the barrel of a camera, 162 00:05:23,391 --> 00:05:25,926 and now the world wants more of Mordechai Fishman. 163 00:05:25,993 --> 00:05:27,661 Who? That's my stage name. 164 00:05:27,728 --> 00:05:29,229 Why? Most actors, 165 00:05:29,296 --> 00:05:31,231 they want to change their name to something less ethnic. 166 00:05:31,298 --> 00:05:33,266 But when they zig, I zag! 167 00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,403 That's genius, Morty! So, what's the show? 168 00:05:35,469 --> 00:05:36,904 Oh, it's only the biggest hit on TV. 169 00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:38,005 Mr. Belvedere? 170 00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:39,507 Bigger and better. 171 00:05:39,573 --> 00:05:42,175 Better than Belvedere? That's not possible. 172 00:05:42,242 --> 00:05:43,711 It's a gritty new police show. 173 00:05:43,777 --> 00:05:45,345 And when it airs, oh-ho-ho, 174 00:05:45,413 --> 00:05:48,081 I am going to be a major player in the industry. 175 00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:51,218 Dude, my dream is to be a major player in the industry! 176 00:05:51,284 --> 00:05:54,054 Then why don't we two major players in the industry 177 00:05:54,121 --> 00:05:55,556 cook up a project together? 178 00:05:55,623 --> 00:05:57,525 Yeah. Now that you're a real working actor, 179 00:05:57,591 --> 00:06:00,060 let's join forces and pitch our own Die Hard! 180 00:06:00,127 --> 00:06:01,294 You mean the action movie? 181 00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,130 Wait a minute. That's already been done. Exactly. 182 00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,198 It's a huge hit, which means Hollywood's gonna buy 183 00:06:05,265 --> 00:06:07,401 a ton of shoddy, poorly-written carbon copies. 184 00:06:07,468 --> 00:06:08,702 I can write poorly. 185 00:06:08,769 --> 00:06:10,337 This is perfect for us! 186 00:06:10,404 --> 00:06:13,306 Hey, Dad, Uncle Marvin's gonna parlay his new TV connections 187 00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:14,942 into a huge sale for us. 188 00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:16,910 Hey, that's fantastic! 189 00:06:16,977 --> 00:06:18,712 Okay, if that's sarcasm, 190 00:06:18,779 --> 00:06:21,114 then I got something for you to look at right here, mister. 191 00:06:21,181 --> 00:06:22,282 Good for you! 192 00:06:22,349 --> 00:06:23,484 Look at it! 193 00:06:23,551 --> 00:06:24,985 It's a Hollywood contract, 194 00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:26,720 and it's from the Fox Broadcasting Company, 195 00:06:26,787 --> 00:06:27,921 which proves that it's real. 196 00:06:27,988 --> 00:06:29,322 That's fantastic! 197 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,124 What is happening? Why are you believing in me? 198 00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:32,493 'Cause that's what I do. 199 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:33,961 No, you don't. 200 00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:36,396 Every holiday, you accuse me of being a liar and a con-man, 201 00:06:36,464 --> 00:06:38,231 and then you literally say, "I don't believe in you". 202 00:06:38,298 --> 00:06:41,435 This year, I've decided to just kick back and enjoy the holidays, 203 00:06:41,502 --> 00:06:42,603 so have at it! 204 00:06:42,670 --> 00:06:44,271 Mur-man's on board. Whoo-hoo! 205 00:06:44,337 --> 00:06:46,474 ADULT ADAM: As we ran off to take Hollywood by storm, 206 00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:50,143 my mom was brewing up a plan to keep her Hanukkah boy at home. 207 00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:52,012 Seasons greetings, handsome. 208 00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:54,081 Whoa. What is all this? 209 00:06:54,147 --> 00:06:55,348 Oh, just a typical Hanukkah. 210 00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,017 Maybe you call Bill and Lainey, 211 00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:59,620 and invite them over for a casual Ha-nook. 212 00:06:59,687 --> 00:07:00,854 Okay, what's going on? 213 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,523 Mom's doing that thing where she turns the holidays 214 00:07:02,590 --> 00:07:04,625 into a terrible competition where no one wins. 215 00:07:04,692 --> 00:07:09,196 If that was true, then why is my nickname Easy Breezy Holiday Bevy? 216 00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:10,664 It's not. 217 00:07:10,731 --> 00:07:12,633 You got in a battle over Christmas with the Kremps, 218 00:07:12,700 --> 00:07:13,934 Thanksgiving with Bill Lewis... 219 00:07:14,001 --> 00:07:15,302 Hanukkah with my parents. 220 00:07:15,368 --> 00:07:16,770 Fourth of July with the Karps, 221 00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:18,639 Presidents' Day with that car dealership... 222 00:07:18,706 --> 00:07:22,109 For your information, stealing a celebration out of another family's arms 223 00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:24,044 is just the way I show my holiday spirit. 224 00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:26,146 (SCOFFS) Well, there's no need to compete with Bill. 225 00:07:26,213 --> 00:07:28,148 Why? 'Cause nothing can compete with Christmas? 226 00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:29,683 No, no, you don't understand. 227 00:07:29,750 --> 00:07:31,018 Oh, I understand but good. 228 00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:33,286 I don't care how many presents were under that tree 229 00:07:33,353 --> 00:07:34,788 or how many hams were glazed... 230 00:07:34,855 --> 00:07:36,690 I will do whatever I have to do 231 00:07:36,757 --> 00:07:39,392 to keep my babies home with me for the holidays. 232 00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:40,861 ** 233 00:07:40,928 --> 00:07:42,863 ADULT ADAM: In that moment, Barry realized 234 00:07:42,930 --> 00:07:47,835 that he could use our mom's holiday desperation to his advantage. 235 00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:49,503 I don't know if you can compete, Mom. 236 00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:51,505 I mean, their Christmas was big. 237 00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:53,173 Oh, Mama can go big. 238 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:56,043 But they had a 20-foot tree, tons of tinsel, 239 00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:58,879 vats of bread pudding, life-sized Nutcracker men, 240 00:07:58,946 --> 00:08:01,815 candy cane swords, an eggnog ice luge, 241 00:08:01,882 --> 00:08:02,916 gum drop pillows, 242 00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:04,585 a working toy shop with elves, 243 00:08:04,652 --> 00:08:07,154 and an appearance by the man himself. 244 00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:08,522 Santa? Not now, Geoffrey! 245 00:08:08,589 --> 00:08:09,923 Yes, Santa. 246 00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:12,059 With all his 47 reindeer. 247 00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:13,260 It was legendary. 248 00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:15,428 Oh, you want legendary? 249 00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:18,098 Erica, Geoff, get your butts to the Baderwood market. 250 00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:19,567 I'm gonna need 12 pounds of potatoes 251 00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:21,501 and all the sour cream you can fit in the car. 252 00:08:21,569 --> 00:08:23,236 Nah. Yes, ma'am! 253 00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:25,939 I don't know, Mom. Hanukkah lasts eight nights. 254 00:08:26,006 --> 00:08:27,507 There's no way you can sustain 255 00:08:27,575 --> 00:08:29,242 that kind of awesomeness for that long. 256 00:08:29,309 --> 00:08:30,711 Well, buckle up, Schmoo. 257 00:08:30,778 --> 00:08:33,013 The festival of lights is about to get nasty. 258 00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:35,282 Dude, what was all that about? 259 00:08:35,348 --> 00:08:36,750 Lainey and Bill don't even do Christmas. 260 00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:39,720 I know! They eat beans from a can like drifters. 261 00:08:39,787 --> 00:08:41,088 Then why'd you get Mom all riled up? 262 00:08:41,154 --> 00:08:43,223 Think about it. Hanukkah is one lame holiday 263 00:08:43,290 --> 00:08:44,925 that drags on for a whole week. 264 00:08:44,992 --> 00:08:47,127 But imagine if each night was better than the last. 265 00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:49,262 Oh, my God. Did you trick Mom into making 266 00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:51,131 every night of Hanukkah Christmas morning? 267 00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:53,133 If you put it that way, it sounds really messed up. 268 00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:54,534 To be clear, I think it's awesome. 269 00:08:54,602 --> 00:08:55,936 I just wanted to make sure I knew the plan. 270 00:08:56,003 --> 00:08:57,237 Later, turd. 271 00:08:57,304 --> 00:08:59,773 All right, I am freshly showered, 272 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:01,809 and I am ready to brainstorm. Go! 273 00:09:01,875 --> 00:09:03,977 Okay, everyone knows the best part of Die Hard 274 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:07,114 is that the whole movie is set in a building, right? 275 00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:10,751 So, I've been thinking of a ton of locations to die hard in. 276 00:09:10,818 --> 00:09:13,086 Mmm, I love how you're thinking inside of the box here, kid. 277 00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:15,956 What do you got? Die Hard in a mall. 278 00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:18,558 It's too easy. Next. Die Hard in a water park! 279 00:09:18,626 --> 00:09:21,294 It's too wet. Next. Die Hard on a moon base. 280 00:09:21,361 --> 00:09:23,997 Boring. Next. Die Hard in an airport. 281 00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,398 Lame. Next. 282 00:09:25,465 --> 00:09:27,067 Die Hard on a bus! 283 00:09:27,134 --> 00:09:28,501 That's the stupidest idea I've ever heard. 284 00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:31,538 All I got left is Die Hard in a tree house. 285 00:09:31,605 --> 00:09:35,508 Die Hard in a tree house? 286 00:09:35,575 --> 00:09:37,144 I don't like it. You love it? 287 00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:39,446 Oh, man, you ruined the moment by saying what I was gonna say. 288 00:09:39,512 --> 00:09:41,649 It just seemed kinda obvious. (SCOFFS) 289 00:09:41,715 --> 00:09:44,818 Hey, Mur, if you need us, we're gonna be in the basement 290 00:09:44,885 --> 00:09:46,119 working on our movie pitch. 291 00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:47,287 That sounds fun. 292 00:09:47,354 --> 00:09:48,588 We're gonna shoot a sizzle reel. 293 00:09:48,656 --> 00:09:50,991 It's a sales tool to help sell our movie to Hollywood. 294 00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:52,760 Great idea! 295 00:09:52,826 --> 00:09:56,029 Marvin gave me his word our movie will be seen up on the big screen. 296 00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:58,398 There ya go. I have my hopes up so much! 297 00:09:58,465 --> 00:10:00,000 Absolutely! 298 00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:01,501 (CHUCKLING) POPS: Murray! 299 00:10:01,568 --> 00:10:03,804 Did you hear that cockamamie scheme? 300 00:10:03,871 --> 00:10:05,438 You gotta shut it down. 301 00:10:05,505 --> 00:10:08,676 Not anymore. I'm done shutting it down. 302 00:10:08,742 --> 00:10:10,110 But what about Adam? 303 00:10:10,177 --> 00:10:13,046 When Marvin doesn't come through, the boy will be crushed. 304 00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:15,315 Yeah. You got to stop 'em. 305 00:10:15,382 --> 00:10:16,449 Look, it's the holidays. 306 00:10:16,516 --> 00:10:18,618 There's so much feel-good TV on. 307 00:10:18,686 --> 00:10:21,188 I'll find something fun and enjoy it. 308 00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:23,323 * Bad boys, bad boys* 309 00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:27,695 ADULT ADAM: Yep, to my dad, the bad boys of COPS brought pure holiday joy. 310 00:10:27,761 --> 00:10:29,496 DISPATCH: 83-62. 311 00:10:29,562 --> 00:10:30,898 Got a 10-45, 312 00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,966 white male wearing a striped robe in the ally. 313 00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:35,235 (DUMPSTER CLANGING) 314 00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:36,503 Bring me up to speed, Andrew. 315 00:10:36,569 --> 00:10:37,905 I'll handle this, Andy. 316 00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:40,373 My crooked landlord locked me out, 317 00:10:40,440 --> 00:10:41,675 and if he doesn't give me my keys back, 318 00:10:41,742 --> 00:10:43,210 I am going to take his Miata! 319 00:10:43,276 --> 00:10:45,078 Murray, that's your brother! 320 00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,647 He's on COPS. I can see he's on COPS. 321 00:10:47,715 --> 00:10:49,616 Also, there's a... ANDREW: Hey! 322 00:10:49,683 --> 00:10:51,384 You'll never catch me, bacon! 323 00:10:51,451 --> 00:10:53,553 I do not consent to search! 324 00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:55,689 I do not consent to search! 325 00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:57,557 (GRUNTS) 326 00:10:57,624 --> 00:10:59,292 (GARBAGE CANS CLANGING) 327 00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:00,427 (GRUNTS) 328 00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:01,661 (SIREN CHIRPS) 329 00:11:01,729 --> 00:11:04,431 (GRUNTS) Get behind! Aah! 330 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,266 Wait a minute. I want your badge numbers! 331 00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:08,235 Hey, what's with the camera crew? 332 00:11:08,301 --> 00:11:09,502 I'm on TV? 333 00:11:09,569 --> 00:11:11,104 POPS: Marvin's on COPS, Murray. 334 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,539 You gotta shut it down! 335 00:11:12,605 --> 00:11:14,507 I gotta shut it down! He's on COPS. 336 00:11:14,574 --> 00:11:17,577 ADULT ADAM: And with that, my dad knew his vacation was over. 337 00:11:17,644 --> 00:11:20,613 Marvin's on COPS. 338 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:22,582 ADULT ADAM: Me and my uncle were ready to hit it big 339 00:11:22,649 --> 00:11:24,617 with Die Hard in a tree house... 340 00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:27,687 Which meant ripping off actual Die Hard. 341 00:11:27,755 --> 00:11:29,556 We could totally do that. For sure. 342 00:11:29,622 --> 00:11:31,524 Aah! 343 00:11:31,591 --> 00:11:32,893 ADULT ADAM: But jumping off a tree house was harder than it looked. 344 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:34,762 Sorry about your tree house, man. 345 00:11:34,828 --> 00:11:37,397 Dude, don't be sorry. I got it all on camera. 346 00:11:37,464 --> 00:11:39,266 Really? 347 00:11:39,332 --> 00:11:42,302 Even the part when I was dangling from the hose, and then I split my pants, 348 00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:44,537 and then the tree house buckled under my weight, 349 00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:46,473 and I fell and I hit my head? All of it! 350 00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:49,476 Hey, your mom's only got the Hanukkah train for another hour. 351 00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:50,944 So, go get a ride while you can. 352 00:11:51,011 --> 00:11:52,412 I want to talk to your uncle. 353 00:11:52,479 --> 00:11:54,281 All right! The Mur-Man wants a piece of the action. 354 00:11:54,347 --> 00:11:55,415 Clear the set, kid. 355 00:11:55,482 --> 00:11:56,616 Let the money guys talk. 356 00:11:56,683 --> 00:11:58,051 So, you wanna invest? 357 00:11:58,118 --> 00:12:00,053 You were on COPS. It aired? 358 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,155 They said they were gonna tell me! How did I look? 359 00:12:02,222 --> 00:12:04,758 Like a criminal because, you know, COPS! 360 00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:06,794 Well, an opportunity is what you make of it. 361 00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:08,728 You really think COPS is your big opportunity? 362 00:12:08,796 --> 00:12:10,563 The producers said that I should call them 363 00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:12,165 any time that I have an argument with the police. 364 00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:14,667 That is a Hollywood connection, Mur. No! 365 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:17,470 You're an adult, Marvin. Why is it always the same with you? 366 00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:18,939 'Cause I am always the same! 367 00:12:19,006 --> 00:12:21,574 Every holiday, I say next year I'm gonna be better, 368 00:12:21,641 --> 00:12:22,976 but it never changes. 369 00:12:23,043 --> 00:12:25,445 Then it's time to start. You shut it down. 370 00:12:25,512 --> 00:12:27,915 Do the right thing and tell Adam the truth. 371 00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:29,049 You're right. 372 00:12:29,116 --> 00:12:30,350 It's time that I stop depending on you 373 00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:32,585 and take some real responsibility in my life. 374 00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:34,287 (TIRES SCREECHING) 375 00:12:34,354 --> 00:12:35,755 * Whatcha gonna do (SIGHS) 376 00:12:35,823 --> 00:12:37,590 * Whatcha gonna do when they come for you? * 377 00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:39,026 Probably should have shut it down. 378 00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:40,660 ADULT ADAM: While Marvin ditched our partnership, 379 00:12:40,727 --> 00:12:42,830 my mom was luring in the Lewises 380 00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:44,865 with an epic Night One of Hanukkah, 381 00:12:44,932 --> 00:12:46,900 which included a Hanukkah tiki hut, 382 00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:49,469 Hanukkah chocolate fountain, and Hanukkah champagne tower. 383 00:12:49,536 --> 00:12:50,938 Hot damn. 384 00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:53,440 My accountant friend said this is a minor holiday. 385 00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:55,442 Guess he was just yankin' my chain. 386 00:12:55,508 --> 00:12:57,610 Oh, it's nothing. Honestly, I forgot it was Hanukkah 387 00:12:57,677 --> 00:12:58,946 till about an hour ago. 388 00:12:59,012 --> 00:13:00,447 Life-changing gift, anyone? 389 00:13:00,513 --> 00:13:02,515 A '65 Fender twin reverb amp? 390 00:13:02,582 --> 00:13:04,784 A pitching wedge with my name on it? 391 00:13:04,852 --> 00:13:07,520 And I got a sensible leather attache case! Thanks, Mrs. G. 392 00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:10,457 What can I say? It's just an average night of Hanukkah 393 00:13:10,523 --> 00:13:11,691 here at the Goldbergs'. 394 00:13:11,758 --> 00:13:13,026 And it only gets better from here, Bill! 395 00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:15,028 It gets better? Infinitely. 396 00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:16,897 It's God's number-one rule. 397 00:13:16,964 --> 00:13:19,199 Every night must be more awesome than the last. 398 00:13:19,266 --> 00:13:20,667 Uh, right. 399 00:13:20,733 --> 00:13:22,569 If you'll excuse me, I just need to get to the mall, 400 00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:25,839 supermarket, bakery, butcher, and bank before they close. 401 00:13:25,906 --> 00:13:28,876 Hoo-wee! I cannot wait for Night Two. 402 00:13:28,942 --> 00:13:30,343 ** 403 00:13:30,410 --> 00:13:31,611 Happy Night Two. 404 00:13:31,678 --> 00:13:33,413 ADULT ADAM: Which added Hanukkah popcorn, 405 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:35,015 a full Hanukkah dessert bar, 406 00:13:35,082 --> 00:13:37,017 and Hanukkah cotton candy? 407 00:13:37,084 --> 00:13:39,486 Hot Hebrew ham, nothing can beat this. 408 00:13:39,552 --> 00:13:40,954 Nothing except Night Three. 409 00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:43,356 ** 410 00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:44,757 Happy Night Three. 411 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:46,927 ADULT ADAM: Which now had Hanukkah snow cones, 412 00:13:46,994 --> 00:13:48,361 Hanukkah pizza buffet, 413 00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:50,597 and I guess a Hanukkah casino? 414 00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:54,201 Sweet chocolate money, now this is the night of all nights. 415 00:13:54,267 --> 00:13:56,603 Sounds like a man who hasn't seen Night Four. 416 00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:57,871 (BILL CHUCKLING) 417 00:13:57,938 --> 00:13:59,106 ** 418 00:13:59,172 --> 00:14:00,340 Happy Night Four. 419 00:14:00,407 --> 00:14:02,142 Look, I'm the rich kid from Silver Spoons! 420 00:14:02,209 --> 00:14:03,843 I don't care what happens tomorrow night, 421 00:14:03,911 --> 00:14:05,545 there's no way to top this. 422 00:14:05,612 --> 00:14:08,348 You might think that, but we're only halfway through. 423 00:14:08,415 --> 00:14:10,617 I'm just gonna close my eyes for a minute, but don't worry. 424 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:12,585 I can still serve. 425 00:14:12,652 --> 00:14:14,888 My family's Hanukkah sucks. 426 00:14:14,955 --> 00:14:17,257 ADULT ADAM: That night, my mom burned out on Hanukkah, 427 00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:19,792 and the next day, I was about to be burned by my uncle. 428 00:14:19,859 --> 00:14:21,694 Hey, Dad, have you seen Uncle Marv? 429 00:14:21,761 --> 00:14:23,563 The trailer for Die Hard 2 comes out today. 430 00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:25,632 We were gonna pay to see Ishtar and then bail. 431 00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:28,601 Yeah, thing is, he's not gonna call you back. 432 00:14:28,668 --> 00:14:30,803 Uncle Marvin knows how important this is to me. 433 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:33,406 He promised to get our movie idea onto the big screen. 434 00:14:33,473 --> 00:14:34,707 You'll see. 435 00:14:34,774 --> 00:14:35,909 But say it doesn't happen. 436 00:14:35,976 --> 00:14:37,978 You'll... You'll still be fine, right? 437 00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:39,746 In that purely hypothetical situation, 438 00:14:39,812 --> 00:14:41,148 no, I'll be utterly destroyed. 439 00:14:41,214 --> 00:14:42,415 How about... 440 00:14:42,482 --> 00:14:43,783 I'll take you. Perfect! 441 00:14:43,850 --> 00:14:45,085 Uncle Marvin can meet us there. 442 00:14:45,152 --> 00:14:47,420 You can munch on popcorn and your words. 443 00:14:47,487 --> 00:14:49,822 Popcorn? That's how they get you. We'll make our own. 444 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:51,324 There's no time to make popcorn. 445 00:14:51,391 --> 00:14:53,060 Well, fine. I got a refrigerator full of cantaloupe. 446 00:14:53,126 --> 00:14:54,361 We'll bring that. 447 00:14:54,427 --> 00:14:56,429 You can't bring cantaloupe into a movie theater! 448 00:14:56,496 --> 00:14:58,932 Of course you can. Cantaloupe's the popcorn of fruit. 449 00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:01,301 You can't sit in a theater and eat a plate of cantaloupe! 450 00:15:01,368 --> 00:15:02,902 Who said anything about plates? 451 00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:05,605 We're gonna bring a knife and cut it up nicely in our laps. 452 00:15:05,672 --> 00:15:08,008 So, now we're cutting a giant, juicy melon in the dark? 453 00:15:08,075 --> 00:15:09,476 It's a two-minute trailer! 454 00:15:09,542 --> 00:15:12,512 Fine, princess! We'll take the melon baller. 455 00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:14,147 Gives you two different size balls. 456 00:15:14,214 --> 00:15:15,282 Don't bring the melon. 457 00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:17,350 Uncle Marvin'll buy me the popcorn. 458 00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:18,651 I'm gonna bring the melon. 459 00:15:18,718 --> 00:15:19,953 ** 460 00:15:20,020 --> 00:15:22,522 Kudos. You've made it through the festive gauntlet 461 00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:23,957 of the first seven nights. 462 00:15:24,024 --> 00:15:25,492 Your reward? Night Eight. 463 00:15:25,558 --> 00:15:26,793 I can't wait for it to begin, 464 00:15:26,859 --> 00:15:28,895 but I don't want it to end. 465 00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:30,964 I haven't felt this alive in years! 466 00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:34,867 Hey, look, it's... Chinese food and hard candies? 467 00:15:34,934 --> 00:15:36,836 Where's the seven-course, potato-based feast 468 00:15:36,903 --> 00:15:38,371 and some kind of motorized dune buggy? 469 00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:39,839 BEVERLY: Oh, so tired. 470 00:15:39,906 --> 00:15:42,842 I'm sorry, Squishy. Hanukkah broke Mama. 471 00:15:42,909 --> 00:15:45,045 What's going on here? BARRY: Nothing. 472 00:15:45,112 --> 00:15:47,814 Let's just go back to your house for beans and sad Boggle. 473 00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:49,516 Bill, I give up. 474 00:15:49,582 --> 00:15:51,818 Take my boy and do Christmas. 475 00:15:51,884 --> 00:15:52,919 I don't wanna do Christmas. 476 00:15:52,986 --> 00:15:54,654 Oh, you have to do Christmas. 477 00:15:54,721 --> 00:15:57,090 You can't force Christmas on me, you monster! 478 00:15:57,157 --> 00:15:58,325 Wait, did you not tell your mom 479 00:15:58,391 --> 00:16:00,027 we don't celebrate Christmas? What? 480 00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:02,795 Funny story that I'll relay to you all privately and separately. 481 00:16:02,862 --> 00:16:05,098 So this whole thing is not normal Hanukkah? 482 00:16:05,165 --> 00:16:06,733 No! (SCOFFS) 483 00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:09,836 By the eighth night, I'm giving away socks and dental floss 484 00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:13,240 and whatever loose mints I can pick out of my purse. 485 00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:14,874 So, this was just a lie from Beverly 486 00:16:14,941 --> 00:16:16,376 spurred on by a lie from Barry? 487 00:16:16,443 --> 00:16:17,844 Kinda. It's not great. 488 00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:19,646 The only thing I wanted for the holidays 489 00:16:19,712 --> 00:16:21,681 was to be part of a family again. 490 00:16:21,748 --> 00:16:23,650 I didn't need gifts or some big party. 491 00:16:24,951 --> 00:16:26,886 I thought you guys felt the same way. 492 00:16:26,953 --> 00:16:28,588 ** 493 00:16:31,391 --> 00:16:33,526 ADULT ADAM: After ruining the holidays for the Lewises, 494 00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:35,728 my mom and Barry had to come together 495 00:16:35,795 --> 00:16:37,597 to pull off a Christmas miracle. 496 00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:39,199 Children, I've gathered you here tonight 497 00:16:39,266 --> 00:16:41,168 because of a true holiday disaster. 498 00:16:41,234 --> 00:16:42,969 We need to throw a last-minute Christmas 499 00:16:43,036 --> 00:16:44,537 for people who hate Christmas 500 00:16:44,604 --> 00:16:45,672 'cause we ruined Hanukkah for them 501 00:16:45,738 --> 00:16:47,840 after a series of lies and deceit. 502 00:16:47,907 --> 00:16:50,443 Okay, he's exaggerating, but yeah, 100% yes. 503 00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:52,212 Wait, are you saying we get to save Christmas? 504 00:16:52,279 --> 00:16:53,946 I've always wanted to save Christmas. Calm down, Geoff. 505 00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:55,748 We haven't heard how dumb this is. 506 00:16:55,815 --> 00:16:59,919 Okay, I've been listening to the Christmas radio station nonstop for five minutes, 507 00:16:59,986 --> 00:17:01,221 and I know exactly 508 00:17:01,288 --> 00:17:02,989 what we need to give Bill and Lainey. Really? 509 00:17:03,056 --> 00:17:05,258 It's all right there in the The Twelve Days of Christmas song. 510 00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:07,394 Erica, Geoffrey, write this down. 511 00:17:07,460 --> 00:17:08,695 On it! No. 512 00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:10,963 First up, we need a Partridge Family CD. 513 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,765 I think you mean partridge in a pear... Buh-bup! 514 00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:15,368 We also need 12 Willis Drummonds, 515 00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:18,105 11 Roddy Pipers, 10 Laineys dancing... 516 00:17:18,171 --> 00:17:19,672 It's "ladies dancing." 517 00:17:19,739 --> 00:17:22,575 Why would Lainey's name be in a song from 200 years ago? 518 00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:24,077 That's where this breaks down for you, Mom? 519 00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:26,813 We also need nine Cloris Leachmans, eight maids a-sweeping, 520 00:17:26,879 --> 00:17:29,416 seven Sprites for swigging, six 6-piece nuggets, 521 00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:31,218 fi-i-i-ve onion rings, 522 00:17:31,284 --> 00:17:33,253 four Larry Birds, three french fries, 523 00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:36,156 two leather gloves, and, of course, a Partridge Family CD. 524 00:17:36,223 --> 00:17:39,292 I'll get the fries, nuggets, Sprite, and Larry Bird, I guess! 525 00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:41,461 You focus on the rest. Move! 526 00:17:41,528 --> 00:17:42,895 Okay, it's up to you and me. 527 00:17:42,962 --> 00:17:44,464 Oh, you'll actually help me? 528 00:17:44,531 --> 00:17:47,300 Normally, never, but you royally screwed this up for Bill and Lainey, 529 00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:48,968 so what do you need? 530 00:17:49,035 --> 00:17:51,438 Trees, lights, stockings, nutcrackers, everything. Let's move! 531 00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:53,806 You do know it's Christmas Eve and everything's closed. 532 00:17:53,873 --> 00:17:56,509 True. (SIGHS) But the Kremps went skiing, 533 00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:59,679 and I'm supposed to be taking care of their dog, Daisy. 534 00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:02,315 So, we're gonna break into the Kremps', steal their Christmas, 535 00:18:02,382 --> 00:18:03,650 and then break into the Lewises' 536 00:18:03,716 --> 00:18:05,285 and give them the Christmas we just stole? 537 00:18:05,352 --> 00:18:06,419 It's not great. 538 00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:07,520 This whole thing. 539 00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:09,456 It's just, it's not great. 540 00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:11,224 To be clear, I think it's awesome. I just wanted to make sure I knew the plan. 541 00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:13,593 ADULT ADAM: With that, they were off to make the holidays right. 542 00:18:13,660 --> 00:18:15,795 And when my uncle didn't show up to that theater, 543 00:18:15,862 --> 00:18:18,131 I realized I was wrong to have trusted him. 544 00:18:18,198 --> 00:18:21,668 Look, your uncle likes to make a lot of crazy plans, 545 00:18:21,734 --> 00:18:24,003 and usually I shut him down, but... 546 00:18:24,070 --> 00:18:25,172 Shh! It's starting. 547 00:18:25,238 --> 00:18:27,106 (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) 548 00:18:27,174 --> 00:18:30,877 NARRATOR: In this tree house, high above the backyard, 549 00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:34,714 the last thing cop Don McShane wants to be is a hero. 550 00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:36,516 We got hostages in the tree house. 551 00:18:36,583 --> 00:18:39,352 NARRATOR: But not everybody gets what they want for Christmas. 552 00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:40,987 ** 553 00:18:41,053 --> 00:18:43,190 Yippee ki yay, (DUBBED) melon farmer. 554 00:18:44,424 --> 00:18:46,859 Oh, my God. It's my movie. 555 00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:49,462 ADAM: This channel is reserved for emergency calls only. 556 00:18:49,529 --> 00:18:51,331 Does it sound like I'm ordering a pizza!? 557 00:18:51,398 --> 00:18:54,033 ADULT ADAM: That day, I didn't see the trailer for Die Hard 2. 558 00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:57,470 For the first time ever, I saw something I wrote on the big screen, 559 00:18:57,537 --> 00:18:59,406 and my life changed forever. 560 00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:02,175 And I had one man to thank for it. 561 00:19:02,242 --> 00:19:04,010 Uncle Marv totally came through. 562 00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:05,645 He really did. 563 00:19:05,712 --> 00:19:07,480 ADULT ADAM: Turns out, my dad saw a side of Uncle Marvin 564 00:19:07,547 --> 00:19:09,182 he'd never seen before, 565 00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:10,917 a side he could trust. 566 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:12,385 Hey. Marvin, wait up. 567 00:19:12,452 --> 00:19:15,255 It's fine. Don't make a big thing out of it. 568 00:19:15,322 --> 00:19:16,556 How did you do that? 569 00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:18,858 I realized you were right, so I came back, 570 00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:20,860 and I bribed the guy in the projection booth. 571 00:19:20,927 --> 00:19:22,329 Well, you did a nice thing. 572 00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:25,164 I felt like I owed it to Adam. 573 00:19:25,232 --> 00:19:27,300 Man, that kid means the world to me. 574 00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:33,873 Looks like this whole me not shutting you down thing worked out okay this year. 575 00:19:33,940 --> 00:19:35,975 You know what? Maybe it's time for me 576 00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:37,777 to start cleaning up my own messes. 577 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:40,813 I think next year, things are gonna be different with you. 578 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,882 That's usually my line. 579 00:19:42,949 --> 00:19:45,252 After you tell me that you don't believe in me. 580 00:19:45,318 --> 00:19:47,754 Yeah, but after the way you came through this time? 581 00:19:47,820 --> 00:19:49,489 I do believe in you. 582 00:19:50,557 --> 00:19:52,124 (CHUCKLES) 583 00:19:54,126 --> 00:19:56,763 ADULT ADAM: Looking back, that year was filled with holiday miracles, 584 00:19:56,829 --> 00:19:58,130 and not just for my family. 585 00:19:58,197 --> 00:19:59,332 What's all this? 586 00:19:59,399 --> 00:20:01,934 Little Goldbergs Christmas for our favorite family. 587 00:20:02,001 --> 00:20:05,104 How did you even get in here? Santa has his ways. 588 00:20:05,171 --> 00:20:08,441 Guys, this is beautiful, but we don't do this kind of thing. 589 00:20:08,508 --> 00:20:10,042 Well, you do now. 590 00:20:10,109 --> 00:20:13,079 'Cause even though you lost some family on Christmas, 591 00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:15,582 now you've gained a whole new one. 592 00:20:15,648 --> 00:20:17,417 ** 593 00:20:17,484 --> 00:20:18,618 That sounds nice. 594 00:20:18,685 --> 00:20:20,052 Good. 595 00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:23,155 'Cause now we can make some new traditions together. 596 00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:26,459 ** 597 00:20:26,526 --> 00:20:29,796 ADULT ADAM: Truth is, every family celebrates the holidays in their own way. 598 00:20:29,862 --> 00:20:32,799 And while some of those traditions go back generations, 599 00:20:32,865 --> 00:20:35,768 the most exciting traditions are the new ones you form 600 00:20:35,835 --> 00:20:37,804 with the people you love at your side. 601 00:20:37,870 --> 00:20:39,939 Yippee ki yay, (DUBBED) melon farmer. 602 00:20:40,006 --> 00:20:41,308 ADULT ADAM: And for me and my family, 603 00:20:41,374 --> 00:20:44,110 our favorite tradition was sitting together 604 00:20:44,176 --> 00:20:46,913 and watching the greatest Christmas movie ever. 605 00:20:46,979 --> 00:20:48,948 ** 606 00:20:49,015 --> 00:20:51,484 (DIE HARD PLAYS ON TV) 607 00:20:51,551 --> 00:20:53,520 (BELL DINGS) 608 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,862 Quick, change the channel. I'm on TV again. 609 00:21:02,929 --> 00:21:05,365 No way! What show? It's a hit legal drama. 610 00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:06,666 L.A. Law? 611 00:21:06,733 --> 00:21:08,668 Would you just change the channel already, man? 612 00:21:08,735 --> 00:21:10,703 ANNOUNCER: What you are witnessing is real. 613 00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:13,205 The participants are not actors. 614 00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:16,609 Both parties have agreed to dismiss their court cases 615 00:21:16,676 --> 00:21:18,545 and have their disputes settled here... 616 00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:20,146 The People's Court. 617 00:21:20,212 --> 00:21:21,548 Fun fact... 618 00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:24,317 Wapner does not like it when you bang his gavel. 619 00:21:24,384 --> 00:21:25,385 Huh. 620 00:21:25,452 --> 00:21:26,453 He hates that.