1 00:00:01,369 --> 00:00:04,004 ADULT ADAM: The '80s sparked some of the most iconic couples ever! 2 00:00:04,038 --> 00:00:05,773 From Loni and Burt to Goldie and Kurt, 3 00:00:05,806 --> 00:00:08,409 if you acted together, you usually ended up together. 4 00:00:08,442 --> 00:00:10,678 And since my ex, Dana, had come back into my life, 5 00:00:10,711 --> 00:00:13,947 I secretly hoped the fall play would rekindle our romance. 6 00:00:13,981 --> 00:00:16,984 Ladies and lords, hold on to your Tudor caps. 7 00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:18,819 Romeo and Juliet! 8 00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:20,454 Yes! It's West Side Story 9 00:00:20,488 --> 00:00:22,656 without the fun music or Latino gangs. 10 00:00:22,690 --> 00:00:24,492 I haven't read it yet, but Carla's always saying 11 00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:26,694 how we're totally gonna end up like Romeo and Juliet. 12 00:00:26,727 --> 00:00:27,861 Oh, boy. 13 00:00:27,895 --> 00:00:29,330 Well, I'm definitely auditioning for Juliet. 14 00:00:29,363 --> 00:00:30,698 And good luck, everyone else, 15 00:00:30,731 --> 00:00:32,166 'cause you're a shoo-in, girlfriend. 16 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:34,368 Friend that's a girl. Just girl. 17 00:00:34,402 --> 00:00:36,537 You know what you got. Have a Romeo in mind? 18 00:00:36,570 --> 00:00:37,638 Who're we kidding? 19 00:00:37,671 --> 00:00:38,972 Andrew Gallery crushed it as Romeo 20 00:00:39,006 --> 00:00:40,708 at that fancy arts camp last summer. 21 00:00:40,741 --> 00:00:42,910 Right. Gallery. 22 00:00:42,943 --> 00:00:45,146 Yep, every drama class had one... 23 00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:48,882 Handsome, weirdly confident, and totally unbearable. 24 00:00:48,916 --> 00:00:50,651 I find if I only wash my hair once a month, 25 00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:52,186 it gets a natural messiness 26 00:00:52,220 --> 00:00:54,155 that I can't acquire with a traditional conditioner. 27 00:00:54,188 --> 00:00:55,689 You are so brave. 28 00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:57,325 I want to play a marine one day. Oh. 29 00:00:57,358 --> 00:01:00,328 Apparently he told the Yale theater program he'd "let them know." 30 00:01:00,361 --> 00:01:02,663 Someone should let him know he's not all that. 31 00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:04,898 No way, bro. Gallery checks all the boxes! 32 00:01:04,932 --> 00:01:06,033 Accept it. 33 00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,901 There's just way better people in the world. 34 00:01:07,935 --> 00:01:09,069 I guess he's kinda cute. 35 00:01:09,103 --> 00:01:11,038 Anyway, I'm gonna go run lines. 36 00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:13,374 If Dana lands Juliet opposite Andrew Gallery, 37 00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,209 it will for sure turn into a showmance. 38 00:01:15,243 --> 00:01:16,310 "Showmance"? 39 00:01:16,344 --> 00:01:17,711 Just because two beautiful teens 40 00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:19,980 spend hours together rehearsing and kissing 41 00:01:20,013 --> 00:01:22,416 in the most romantic play ever doesn't mean... 42 00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:23,984 Oh, balls, balls! Yep. 43 00:01:24,017 --> 00:01:26,420 That drab auditorium might as well be The Blue Lagoon, 44 00:01:26,454 --> 00:01:28,222 'cause young love is afoot. 45 00:01:28,256 --> 00:01:29,323 You're a foot. 46 00:01:29,357 --> 00:01:30,858 You know what? Maybe I'll try out for Romeo. 47 00:01:30,891 --> 00:01:32,660 Then you better start learning some Shakespeare. 48 00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:35,095 It's not exactly the easy-breezy dialogue from ALF. 49 00:01:35,129 --> 00:01:37,265 I will get the part and showmance with Dana 50 00:01:37,298 --> 00:01:38,999 and prove you and everyone else wrong. 51 00:01:39,032 --> 00:01:41,535 But, unfortunately, that meant this. 52 00:01:41,569 --> 00:01:43,337 "O Schmoopie-o, Schmoopie-o, 53 00:01:43,371 --> 00:01:45,539 "wherefore art thou, Schmoopie-o?" 54 00:01:45,573 --> 00:01:47,074 Mom! Enough with the Schmoopie-o's! 55 00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:49,177 Shakespeare would love the way I talk. 56 00:01:49,210 --> 00:01:50,978 You know who doesn't love the way you guys are talking? 57 00:01:51,011 --> 00:01:52,546 Vic and I. I don't mind, Mur. 58 00:01:52,580 --> 00:01:54,982 (CHUCKLES) My daughter's auditioning for that play. 59 00:01:55,015 --> 00:01:56,450 Asha? She's like five years old. 60 00:01:56,484 --> 00:01:57,918 Oh, she was... 11 years ago. 61 00:01:57,951 --> 00:01:59,453 Well, tell Asha to break a leg. 62 00:01:59,487 --> 00:02:01,355 I most certainly will not. 63 00:02:01,389 --> 00:02:03,891 The last thing I want is my sweet angel 64 00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:06,059 in some teen raunchfest. 65 00:02:06,093 --> 00:02:07,195 Raunchfest? 66 00:02:07,228 --> 00:02:09,963 That Shakespeare was a grade-A horndog. 67 00:02:09,997 --> 00:02:13,534 There's no way I'm letting some hormonal Romeo 68 00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:15,636 smooch up my little princess. 69 00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:18,206 Don't worry about this one landing the role. No offense. 70 00:02:18,239 --> 00:02:20,474 Offense taken, taken hard! 71 00:02:20,508 --> 00:02:23,411 Watch me perform Romeo's death by poison. 72 00:02:23,444 --> 00:02:25,446 Ohh! (IMITATES SLURPING) 73 00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:27,448 Thy drugs are quick. (GROANING) 74 00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:30,551 Oh, no! Thus with a kiss, I die! 75 00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:32,420 With Mama's kiss, you live! 76 00:02:32,453 --> 00:02:33,954 No! 77 00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:36,624 If thou goest, then I go, too. 78 00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:37,725 Oh, give me that vial. 79 00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:39,159 You two mind dying in the kitchen? 80 00:02:39,193 --> 00:02:40,761 (GROANING) 81 00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,896 * I'm twisted up inside 82 00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:46,133 * But nonetheless, I feel the need to say 83 00:02:48,969 --> 00:02:50,338 * I don't know the future 84 00:02:50,371 --> 00:02:53,874 * But the past keeps getting clearer every day * 85 00:02:53,907 --> 00:02:56,577 ADULT ADAM: It was October 23, 1980-something, 86 00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:59,313 and Erica was crushing college academically. 87 00:02:59,347 --> 00:03:01,615 Cheggit! I got another "A" on my sociology midterm. 88 00:03:01,649 --> 00:03:02,983 Another perfect grade? 89 00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,985 Your GPA is gonna look like Fonzie on a Friday... 90 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:06,454 All "Aaays." 91 00:03:06,487 --> 00:03:08,356 Yeah, I don't have time to acknowledge how lame that was. 92 00:03:08,389 --> 00:03:09,623 Come on, let's celebrate 93 00:03:09,657 --> 00:03:11,925 by going to one of the many fun hangs on this corkboard. 94 00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:13,160 Oh, no! A lost dog? 95 00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:15,829 Snowball is fine, and so am I. No parties. 96 00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:18,299 But all you do is go from your dorm to the classroom 97 00:03:18,332 --> 00:03:19,500 and back to your dorm. 98 00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,435 I mean, get out there. Meet some people. 99 00:03:21,469 --> 00:03:22,936 And if you do, ask them if they've seen 100 00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:25,439 a bichon/pug mix who loves carrots. 101 00:03:25,473 --> 00:03:27,508 Whoa! Whoa! Can't stop! Can't stop! 102 00:03:27,541 --> 00:03:28,709 Can't stop! 103 00:03:28,742 --> 00:03:29,843 Ugh! Ohh! 104 00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:32,480 Oh! I am so sorry. 105 00:03:32,513 --> 00:03:33,614 Are you okay? 106 00:03:33,647 --> 00:03:35,215 This is my first time riding a skateboard. 107 00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:37,351 Yeah, well, a crowded, public space full of strangers 108 00:03:37,385 --> 00:03:38,552 is a perfect place to start. 109 00:03:38,586 --> 00:03:40,153 Oh, here, take my sweater. Your knee is bleeding. 110 00:03:40,187 --> 00:03:41,689 Wait. Is this cashmere? 111 00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,223 I don't want to ruin it with my knee blood. 112 00:03:43,257 --> 00:03:44,325 It'll give it character. 113 00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:45,859 And then some cute guy is gonna come up to me, 114 00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:47,661 and he'll be like, "Hey, you got blood on your sweater," 115 00:03:47,695 --> 00:03:48,962 and I'll be like, "You're stupid." 116 00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:50,564 And then he'll be my boyfriend for a few weeks, 117 00:03:50,598 --> 00:03:51,665 and I will have you to thank. 118 00:03:51,699 --> 00:03:53,166 Wow. You're, like, a lot. 119 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,536 Thanks! I'm Ren. It's short for Lauren. 120 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,838 I'm Erica. Or Ca? 121 00:03:57,871 --> 00:03:59,072 Yeah, that doesn't work. 122 00:03:59,106 --> 00:04:00,908 Um, well, it was nice to break your fall. 123 00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:02,310 Don't look, but there is a guy over there 124 00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:04,678 who is majorly creeping on you. 125 00:04:04,712 --> 00:04:07,247 Oh, yeah. That creeper's my boyfriend. 126 00:04:07,281 --> 00:04:08,516 He wants me to make a friend. 127 00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:09,817 Tell him you did. 128 00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:11,619 ADULT ADAM: And just like that, over the next few days, 129 00:04:11,652 --> 00:04:14,322 my sister's first college friendship was born. 130 00:04:14,355 --> 00:04:16,357 Erica and Ren checked out local music. 131 00:04:16,390 --> 00:04:17,725 College bands suck. 132 00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:19,660 Oh, for sure. 133 00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:20,728 We're taking this. 134 00:04:20,761 --> 00:04:22,330 I'll bring it back when you learn how to use it. 135 00:04:22,363 --> 00:04:23,531 Run! 136 00:04:25,566 --> 00:04:27,735 And then they hit up the campus art scenes. 137 00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,570 This one is just squiggles. 138 00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:31,138 I posed nude for that. 139 00:04:31,171 --> 00:04:32,940 For real? Oh, damn! 140 00:04:32,973 --> 00:04:34,074 That's your butt! 141 00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:35,743 Yep, Erica and Ren were inseparable. 142 00:04:35,776 --> 00:04:37,778 Nothing could derail their friendship. 143 00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:39,046 Well, almost nothing. 144 00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:40,247 Oh, (BLEEP). 145 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,450 Ooh, are we randomly cursing? Ass! 146 00:04:42,483 --> 00:04:44,785 No. It's Parents Weekend. I know. I'm stoked. 147 00:04:44,818 --> 00:04:46,954 Gene and Rita are taking me somewhere fancy to eat. 148 00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:48,956 Gene and Rita? That's so informal. 149 00:04:48,989 --> 00:04:50,791 It's like you consider them people. 150 00:04:50,824 --> 00:04:52,360 Yeah, my mom's a kickass defense attorney. 151 00:04:52,393 --> 00:04:54,227 She puts bad people back on the street. 152 00:04:54,261 --> 00:04:56,129 And, uh, my dad owns a couple restaurants in the city. 153 00:04:56,163 --> 00:04:57,598 Wow, we have so much in common. 154 00:04:57,631 --> 00:04:59,032 I mean, my mom could have been a lawyer, 155 00:04:59,066 --> 00:05:01,301 and my dad owns something he calls restaurant pants. 156 00:05:01,335 --> 00:05:02,970 I'm just so glad that my mom and dad 157 00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:04,104 aren't like those psycho parents 158 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:05,305 that are in your face all the time. 159 00:05:05,339 --> 00:05:06,740 Totally. Holy crap. 160 00:05:06,774 --> 00:05:08,576 We should all grab brunch together this weekend. 161 00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:09,977 That is...an idea. 162 00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:12,245 Here's the thing... They can never meet you. 163 00:05:12,279 --> 00:05:13,313 What? Why not? 164 00:05:13,347 --> 00:05:15,949 'Cause they were, um... 165 00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:17,918 Lost at sea. What? 166 00:05:17,951 --> 00:05:20,320 Yeah, that's a real thing that I just told you from my mouth. 167 00:05:20,354 --> 00:05:22,390 Oh, my God. Were they, like, on a cruise or something? 168 00:05:22,423 --> 00:05:24,091 Yes. That makes the most sense. 169 00:05:24,124 --> 00:05:26,794 Yeah, they... They were cruising for a bruisin'... 170 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,128 And they got one. 171 00:05:28,161 --> 00:05:29,930 That must be so hard for you and your brother. 172 00:05:29,963 --> 00:05:32,099 Cheggit! Package from Mom. 173 00:05:32,132 --> 00:05:35,335 Homemade fudgy crunch bars! (CHUCKLES) 174 00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:37,771 Whoo! So fudgy in my mouth! 175 00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:39,339 How does it go down? 176 00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:41,642 So sticky! 177 00:05:41,675 --> 00:05:44,578 Sweet, sad Barry. He just hasn't accepted it. 178 00:05:44,612 --> 00:05:45,979 That is sad. 179 00:05:46,013 --> 00:05:47,615 ADULT ADAM: As Erica leaned into her lie, 180 00:05:47,648 --> 00:05:50,283 all I cared about was beating out Andrew Gallery 181 00:05:50,317 --> 00:05:51,785 for the lead of Romeo and Juliet. 182 00:05:52,386 --> 00:05:54,287 Dude, you're Romeo. 183 00:05:54,321 --> 00:05:55,523 I know, Dave Kim. 184 00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:57,090 Romeo kisses Juliet! 185 00:05:57,124 --> 00:05:58,492 I know, Dave Kim! 186 00:05:58,526 --> 00:06:00,260 And Dana is... 187 00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:01,695 Lady Montague? 188 00:06:01,729 --> 00:06:02,830 Oh, no, Dave Kim. 189 00:06:02,863 --> 00:06:04,164 That means she's playing my... 190 00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:05,298 Mom. 191 00:06:05,332 --> 00:06:06,834 I mean, it could be worse. Could it? 192 00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:08,268 It's not like you're playing my actual mom. 193 00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:10,504 Even if you were, I've heard my dad say more than once 194 00:06:10,538 --> 00:06:11,872 that she's a handsome lady. 195 00:06:11,905 --> 00:06:13,441 And I'll shut up. 196 00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:15,609 But if you didn't get Juliet, who did? 197 00:06:15,643 --> 00:06:16,944 There's my Romeo. 198 00:06:16,977 --> 00:06:18,646 Asha? Congrats. 199 00:06:18,679 --> 00:06:20,781 Dana, you know Asha. Asha, you know Dana. 200 00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:22,483 You guys both know each other, so that's cool. 201 00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:23,984 Our dads sell furniture together. 202 00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:26,053 More like they avoid our moms together. 203 00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:27,555 You'll make a great Juliet. 204 00:06:28,922 --> 00:06:31,959 So, I have to ask... How'd you beat out Andrew Gallery? 205 00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:34,227 If I had to guess, pure unbridled talent. 206 00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:35,328 Wrong. 207 00:06:35,362 --> 00:06:38,398 In the play, Romeo is a confused 15-year-old. 208 00:06:38,432 --> 00:06:40,233 I thought Adam would be perfect 209 00:06:40,267 --> 00:06:43,403 because he still has the wildly underdeveloped body 210 00:06:43,437 --> 00:06:45,573 and crude acting of a young boy. 211 00:06:45,606 --> 00:06:47,007 You honor me. 212 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:48,476 Mm. 213 00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:50,844 And a heads-up. My dad's not too thrilled about me doing this play. 214 00:06:50,878 --> 00:06:53,080 Oh, I know. But as a romantic lead, 215 00:06:53,113 --> 00:06:55,215 I'm prepared to endure the fury of an angry father. 216 00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:56,283 You're Romeo? 217 00:06:57,417 --> 00:06:58,919 (LAUGHING) 218 00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:01,822 But what about your whole thing about handsy Romeos 219 00:07:01,855 --> 00:07:03,524 smooching up your little princess? 220 00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:04,725 (LAUGHING INTENSIFIES) 221 00:07:04,758 --> 00:07:06,827 You understand. You're not a Romeo. 222 00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:09,262 I was literally cast as Romeo. 223 00:07:09,296 --> 00:07:11,331 ADULT ADAM: I couldn't stand that Vic and my dad 224 00:07:11,364 --> 00:07:12,933 thought I wasn't a leading man. 225 00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:14,768 Meanwhile, my sister was leading the charge 226 00:07:14,802 --> 00:07:16,403 to protect her friendship with Ren. 227 00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:18,105 Mom and Dad can't come to Parents Weekend. 228 00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:20,007 Absolutely not! 229 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:21,842 Also, why not? 230 00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:23,176 If tacky, horrible Mom shows up, 231 00:07:23,210 --> 00:07:25,045 Ren will never talk to me again. 232 00:07:25,078 --> 00:07:26,914 Ha! The friendship you care about 233 00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:29,449 hinges on the paper-thin premise you can hide Mom forever. 234 00:07:29,483 --> 00:07:30,951 This is bad for you, too. 235 00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:32,886 Do you think potential girlfriends on this campus 236 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:34,421 will respond well to Beverly Goldberg? 237 00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,356 Oh, no! 238 00:07:36,389 --> 00:07:38,592 You brought it around to me, and now I'm invested. 239 00:07:38,626 --> 00:07:39,693 What do we do? 240 00:07:39,727 --> 00:07:41,394 Parents Weekend starts Saturday. 241 00:07:41,428 --> 00:07:42,462 What if it didn't? 242 00:07:42,496 --> 00:07:43,731 Parents Thursday? 243 00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:44,965 The hell's Parents Thursday? 244 00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:47,467 Parents Thursday replaces Parents Weekend 245 00:07:47,501 --> 00:07:49,737 due to an emergency campus renovation. 246 00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:51,404 Is the tuition going up? No. 247 00:07:51,438 --> 00:07:53,106 Suckers. Silver lining... 248 00:07:53,140 --> 00:07:55,576 We have a small window of time this upcoming Thursday. 249 00:07:55,609 --> 00:07:57,044 Evening. After dark. 250 00:07:57,077 --> 00:07:58,546 We'll make it work. MURRAY: I'm out. 251 00:07:58,579 --> 00:07:59,880 You know I don't drive after dark 252 00:07:59,913 --> 00:08:01,114 unless I like the place I'm going. 253 00:08:01,148 --> 00:08:03,216 Rats. Well, Mom, keep in mind 254 00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:04,752 that this event is super last-minute, 255 00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:06,787 so most parents won't be there. 256 00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:07,921 Lucky me. 257 00:08:07,955 --> 00:08:11,458 I get my college schmoos and their campus all to myself. 258 00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:13,794 ADULT ADAM: And with that, Parents Thursday was a go. 259 00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:17,230 It all kicked off at the ladies' field hockey equipment closet. 260 00:08:17,264 --> 00:08:19,633 If we had a key, you'd see a lot of sticks. 261 00:08:19,667 --> 00:08:21,134 Moving on. 262 00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:23,937 And they did, to a sketchy burrito joint nine miles from campus. 263 00:08:23,971 --> 00:08:25,038 We come here all the time. 264 00:08:26,674 --> 00:08:27,941 What the hell is a "kimi-conga"? 265 00:08:27,975 --> 00:08:29,843 Of course, no school tour is complete 266 00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:31,812 without a stop at the dorm facilities room. 267 00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,346 I push these buttons all the time. 268 00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:36,016 Beep, boop, beep, boop. (WHIRRING) 269 00:08:36,049 --> 00:08:38,786 And the final stop of our Parents Thursday tour, 270 00:08:38,819 --> 00:08:40,854 the majestic parking lot. 271 00:08:40,888 --> 00:08:42,089 All right, see you at Thanksgiving. 272 00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:43,757 Oh. Okay. (CHUCKLES) 273 00:08:43,791 --> 00:08:47,294 ADULT ADAM: Success! Erica and Barry had pulled it off. 274 00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:48,361 Or not. 275 00:08:48,395 --> 00:08:50,698 Parents (BLEEP) Thursday? Really? 276 00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:51,865 She knows. You know? 277 00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:53,200 Of course I know. 278 00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:54,602 Erica made me do it! 279 00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:56,303 She's the mastermind. 280 00:08:56,336 --> 00:08:58,538 Barry good. Erica bad. 281 00:08:58,572 --> 00:09:00,841 Mom, look, it's not a big deal. 282 00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,810 I just don't really want you here. 283 00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:03,844 You get it. 284 00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:07,180 I guess I do. 285 00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:08,248 I accept it. 286 00:09:08,281 --> 00:09:11,018 What? But you never just accept it. 287 00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,519 Good evening, gentle daughter. 288 00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,521 No, don't be cordial. 289 00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,890 What's your next move, lady? I need to know! 290 00:09:16,924 --> 00:09:19,827 Oh, no, this is terrible! She has my burrito in her car! 291 00:09:19,860 --> 00:09:21,528 ADULT ADAM: Erica knew something was up with my mom. 292 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:25,398 Meanwhile, Romeo's big kiss with Juliet was about to go down. 293 00:09:25,432 --> 00:09:28,836 Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake. 294 00:09:28,869 --> 00:09:31,872 Then move not, while my prayer's effect... 295 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,206 I take. 296 00:09:34,474 --> 00:09:37,377 My kiss with Asha got a little hot and heavy. 297 00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:38,879 Okay, a lot. 298 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,648 And I wasn't the only one who felt that way. 299 00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:41,715 Damn! 300 00:09:41,749 --> 00:09:43,350 Okay! All right! All right! No more! 301 00:09:43,383 --> 00:09:44,551 That's enough. That's enough. 302 00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:46,519 Adam, I knew you were the right choice, 303 00:09:46,553 --> 00:09:49,089 because that was sensuous. 304 00:09:49,122 --> 00:09:50,190 Thanks, I think. 305 00:09:50,223 --> 00:09:51,659 We're children, so it's a little weird. 306 00:09:51,692 --> 00:09:53,861 It was spicy, like a Cuban night. 307 00:09:53,894 --> 00:09:55,028 That's not much better. 308 00:09:55,062 --> 00:09:57,230 I mean, it's like I just came out of a Turkish sauna! 309 00:09:57,264 --> 00:09:59,399 Uh, would you mind if we took that from the top? 310 00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:00,901 I'd love another shot. (CHUCKLES) 311 00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,636 Or we could just move on, maybe. 312 00:10:02,670 --> 00:10:03,971 That's a good idea, Lady Montague. 313 00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:05,505 Let's take ten and regroup. 314 00:10:05,538 --> 00:10:08,208 I need to air out my directing scarf. Whoo! 315 00:10:08,241 --> 00:10:10,944 Dude, this is better than you could have ever imagined. 316 00:10:10,978 --> 00:10:12,512 All the kissing's making Dana crazy, 317 00:10:12,545 --> 00:10:14,281 and Asha's clearly into you now, too. 318 00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:16,583 You think Asha's into me? Have you seen her notebook? 319 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,919 It's got "AG" written all over it. I'm "AG." 320 00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,420 I only signed up for this play 321 00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:22,455 to stop Dana from kissing that handsome douche, 322 00:10:22,489 --> 00:10:24,357 and now I'm the handsome douche. 323 00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:26,794 You're gonna be a theater department legend, 324 00:10:26,827 --> 00:10:27,895 right up there with that guy 325 00:10:27,928 --> 00:10:29,496 who freed all the cats during Cats, 326 00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:30,964 and then they couldn't catch all the cats, 327 00:10:30,998 --> 00:10:32,399 so now we can't do Cats anymore. 328 00:10:32,432 --> 00:10:34,735 Take that, Vic and Dad. I am a threat. 329 00:10:34,768 --> 00:10:37,838 Hey, Susie. I just popped by to pick up Asha. 330 00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:39,306 How's the play going? 331 00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:42,142 Well, let's just say that Romeo and Juliet 332 00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:44,978 are taking advantage of their very palpable chemistry. 333 00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:47,380 Palpable? I know. Seems unlikely. 334 00:10:47,414 --> 00:10:49,149 Asha and Goldberg's kid? 335 00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:50,884 Let's just say when I closed my eyes and opened them, 336 00:10:50,918 --> 00:10:53,653 I was in Verona, and true love was in the air. 337 00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:54,788 Nuh-uh! 338 00:10:54,822 --> 00:10:59,426 Asha's involvement in this burlesque show is a big no! 339 00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:02,495 Oh, boy. 340 00:11:04,197 --> 00:11:06,800 ADULT ADAM: After finding out about our hot and heavy rehearsal, 341 00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:08,902 Vic was living out his own tragedy. 342 00:11:08,936 --> 00:11:12,639 So, it's been brought to my attention that Ms. Cinoman 343 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:17,477 has decided to put on an R-rated version of Romeo and Juliet. 344 00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:18,879 It's just a kiss. 345 00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:20,513 That is not how you described it. 346 00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:23,917 The heat around them made the air buckle. 347 00:11:23,951 --> 00:11:26,186 See? Teenage air-buckling and whatnot. 348 00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:27,287 Whatnot! 349 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:28,621 Excuse me. Why am I here? 350 00:11:28,655 --> 00:11:31,792 Because your child is a wolf in sheep's clothing. 351 00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:33,493 Cinoman confirmed. 352 00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:34,694 Turbulent blood did fill my heart. 353 00:11:34,728 --> 00:11:35,863 VIC: Damn it, Mur. 354 00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:38,131 You agreed your son wasn't a threat. 355 00:11:38,165 --> 00:11:42,803 We even shared a chuckle about how wildly unmasculine he is. 356 00:11:42,836 --> 00:11:45,105 Well, maybe the problem isn't my son. 357 00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:46,273 It's your daughter. 358 00:11:46,306 --> 00:11:48,441 Asha was attacked by that four-eyed dorkus. 359 00:11:48,475 --> 00:11:50,177 Whoa! "Dorkus"? 360 00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:51,444 Oh, you heard me. 361 00:11:51,478 --> 00:11:53,546 The kid is a doof. 362 00:11:53,580 --> 00:11:55,448 I should really jump in here, 363 00:11:55,482 --> 00:11:57,350 or just see where this is going. 364 00:11:57,384 --> 00:12:00,788 I forbid your son from stage-Frenching my daughter! 365 00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:04,557 I forbid your daughter from stage-Frenching my son! 366 00:12:04,591 --> 00:12:07,627 Is anyone else picking up on the irony of this situation? 367 00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:10,630 Rival families torn apart by their children's love. 368 00:12:10,663 --> 00:12:12,699 Just say the words, Susan. 369 00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,802 This is Romeo and Juliet. 370 00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:15,869 Nobody's ever heard of that show. 371 00:12:15,903 --> 00:12:17,304 What are you even talking about? 372 00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:20,173 I demand you cancel the play, Principal Bald. 373 00:12:20,207 --> 00:12:21,541 It's Ball. 374 00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:22,910 And I would if I could, 375 00:12:22,943 --> 00:12:26,013 but the community-service kids are already painting sets. 376 00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:29,416 Then I demand you remove all the romance kissing 377 00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:30,951 and... And... And randy language. 378 00:12:30,984 --> 00:12:32,252 I could do that. 379 00:12:32,285 --> 00:12:34,721 Earl! You can't rewrite Shakespeare! 380 00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:37,690 One would think, but look at me go. 381 00:12:37,724 --> 00:12:39,026 Bye-bye, that bit. 382 00:12:39,059 --> 00:12:40,894 Please. Now they're just star-crossed pals? 383 00:12:40,928 --> 00:12:44,764 Let's play it safe and make 'em star-crossed business colleagues. 384 00:12:44,798 --> 00:12:47,367 ADULT ADAM: And so it would be a romance-free Romeo and Juliet. 385 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,903 Meanwhile, my sister knew my mom wouldn't let her free 386 00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:51,438 on Parents Weekend that easily. 387 00:12:51,471 --> 00:12:53,907 Okay, if I make this, I live forever 388 00:12:53,941 --> 00:12:56,509 and Dian Parkinson from The Price is Right 389 00:12:56,543 --> 00:12:57,744 becomes my live-in girlfriend. 390 00:12:58,711 --> 00:13:00,013 Aw! Doesn't count! 391 00:13:00,047 --> 00:13:01,214 Will you shut up? 392 00:13:01,248 --> 00:13:02,549 Okay, shouldn't you be celebrating? 393 00:13:02,582 --> 00:13:04,117 You don't have to spend the weekend with Mom. 394 00:13:04,151 --> 00:13:07,254 No! You think that she's just gonna let Parents Thursday go? 395 00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:09,056 She's coming for me. She's coming hard. 396 00:13:09,089 --> 00:13:10,723 (KNOCK ON DOOR) BEVERLY: It's your mama! 397 00:13:10,757 --> 00:13:12,025 Lady Vengeance has come. 398 00:13:12,059 --> 00:13:13,626 Oh, no. Your dread was justified. 399 00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:15,795 (SINGSONG VOICE) Happy Parents Weekend. 400 00:13:15,829 --> 00:13:17,230 Erica said you were upset, 401 00:13:17,264 --> 00:13:19,632 but your wrapped gifts and cheery tone say otherwise. 402 00:13:19,666 --> 00:13:21,434 Not buying it. What's your game, Mom? 403 00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:24,304 I am a mom, strange girl, just not yours. 404 00:13:24,337 --> 00:13:26,373 She's pretending to not be your mom to get back at you. 405 00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:28,108 Yeah, thanks, Geoff. Good add. Uh-huh. 406 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:30,243 I'm just here to celebrate Parents Weekend 407 00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:33,380 with my one child who attends this university. 408 00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:35,983 She's wearing a sweater that's so sparkly and vindictive. 409 00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:38,118 Why are you just saying the things we can all see? 410 00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:40,888 And you should know that I'm not done by a long shot. 411 00:13:40,921 --> 00:13:43,924 Whatever. Your lame attempt to divide us won't work. 412 00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:46,326 The sibling bond is stronger than any... 413 00:13:46,359 --> 00:13:47,627 What the hell, dude? 414 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,997 Sorry, strange girl, but material goods 415 00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:51,965 and homemade treats have won me over. 416 00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:53,300 These have peanut butter! 417 00:13:53,333 --> 00:13:54,534 And butterscotch. 418 00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:56,904 Who's ready to be spoiled by Mama? 419 00:13:56,937 --> 00:13:58,471 Me. (LAUGHS) 420 00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:00,507 Just know, no matter how hard you try, 421 00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:02,309 you will never make me jealous. 422 00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:03,776 ADULT ADAM: And try my mom did. 423 00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:06,846 Look! Mom foolishly got me a bank account. 424 00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:08,949 Mom got me more fancy horse shirts 425 00:14:08,982 --> 00:14:10,317 than one boy could ever need. 426 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,485 Mom got me a semester's worth of frozen pizza. 427 00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:14,254 And the gifts only got bigger from there. 428 00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:16,356 Oh, Parents Weekend is the best. 429 00:14:16,389 --> 00:14:17,790 I got a pinball machine 430 00:14:17,824 --> 00:14:19,792 that makes it nearly impossible to open my closet. 431 00:14:19,826 --> 00:14:22,162 (CHUCKLES) Your feeble attempt to make me feel bad 432 00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:23,863 is sad and will bankrupt your husband. 433 00:14:23,897 --> 00:14:25,132 Do you hear something, Barry, 434 00:14:25,165 --> 00:14:27,167 something squeaky and unappreciative? 435 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,735 That was Erica. She's there. 436 00:14:28,768 --> 00:14:30,137 And you know what else? 437 00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:32,039 I'm hanging out with my new friend Ren, 438 00:14:32,072 --> 00:14:34,474 who has cool, not-crazy parents. 439 00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:36,043 Stupid family-sized fridge. 440 00:14:36,076 --> 00:14:38,645 Okay, people, please refer to the changes 441 00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:43,050 in Romeo and Juliet: A Tale of Platonic Office Associates. 442 00:14:43,083 --> 00:14:44,284 But soft! 443 00:14:44,317 --> 00:14:46,619 What light through yonder window breaks? 444 00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:50,523 It is the east, and my...pal from accounting is the sun. 445 00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:54,561 Parting with my bud over in H.R. is such sweet sorrow, 446 00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:58,031 that I shall say good night till it be morrow...bud. 447 00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:01,701 (TELEPHONE RINGS) 448 00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:03,370 What do they even do at this office? 449 00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:04,671 General business. 450 00:15:04,704 --> 00:15:06,473 Now, stop asking questions 451 00:15:06,506 --> 00:15:08,841 and start stealing Tybalt's yogurt from the break room. 452 00:15:08,875 --> 00:15:10,343 I'm too handsome for this. 453 00:15:10,377 --> 00:15:11,478 I'm out. No! 454 00:15:11,511 --> 00:15:13,746 We can't lose our Mercutio, the mid-level executive! 455 00:15:13,780 --> 00:15:15,348 Yeah, I quit, too. 456 00:15:15,382 --> 00:15:18,051 ADULT ADAM: My showmance was slipping away. I had to do something. 457 00:15:18,085 --> 00:15:19,552 Asha, wait. 458 00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,888 I'm really sorry about how our dads ruined Shakespeare. 459 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,556 (SIGHS) Yeah, they're the worst. 460 00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:25,758 But I still think you should do it. What's the point? 461 00:15:25,792 --> 00:15:27,427 Well, even though they cut our kiss, 462 00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:29,562 we can still share... 463 00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:30,663 Whatever this is. 464 00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:31,764 This? 465 00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:33,400 Our chemistry. 466 00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:36,069 Wait. Wait. Wait. Do you think I'm into you? 467 00:15:36,103 --> 00:15:37,570 You're not? No. 468 00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:39,472 But you wrote "AG" all over your notebook. 469 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:41,208 Andrew Gallery? 470 00:15:41,241 --> 00:15:44,277 Huh. I guess I'm not the only person with my initials. 471 00:15:44,311 --> 00:15:46,513 I'm so sorry, Adam. 472 00:15:46,546 --> 00:15:48,181 ADULT ADAM: And then it got even worse. 473 00:15:48,215 --> 00:15:50,617 Hey! Guess who's your new Juliet. 474 00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:52,219 Oh, cool. 475 00:15:53,253 --> 00:15:55,422 Oh, I thought you'd be more excited. 476 00:15:55,455 --> 00:15:57,290 I'm sorry. I'm just... Forget it. 477 00:15:57,324 --> 00:15:58,891 It's about someone else. 478 00:15:58,925 --> 00:16:01,961 Yeah. I'm getting that feeling. 479 00:16:01,995 --> 00:16:04,297 While both of my showmances quickly fell apart, 480 00:16:04,331 --> 00:16:07,134 my mom was still determined to break Erica on Parents Weekend. 481 00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:09,936 Excuse me, random coeds. Are these seats taken? 482 00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:12,205 Oh, God. Yes. They're very much taken. 483 00:16:12,239 --> 00:16:14,374 I'm sorry. My... My parents are coming. 484 00:16:14,407 --> 00:16:16,709 Oh, that's fine. We'll just sit here until they arrive. 485 00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:18,078 Barry, over here. (CHUCKLES) 486 00:16:18,111 --> 00:16:19,446 Wait. Isn't that your brother? 487 00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,581 Is it? No, I think I would know. 488 00:16:21,614 --> 00:16:23,050 I told Mom where you were. 489 00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:24,817 She bought me a snowmobile. 490 00:16:24,851 --> 00:16:27,454 I'm sorry. I am so confused. 491 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:29,156 It's a vehicle you drive on snow. 492 00:16:29,189 --> 00:16:30,757 It's right there in the name. 493 00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:32,425 Uh, no. This is your mom? 494 00:16:32,459 --> 00:16:34,561 I-I thought you were lost at sea. 495 00:16:34,594 --> 00:16:36,763 I'm lost at sea? 496 00:16:36,796 --> 00:16:38,598 Yes, because it's better than the truth... 497 00:16:38,631 --> 00:16:41,368 That you're a crazy person intent on ruining my life. 498 00:16:41,401 --> 00:16:43,836 Wow. You'd rather have my lifeless body 499 00:16:43,870 --> 00:16:44,971 bobbing in the ocean 500 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:47,774 than spend one lousy day with me at your college? 501 00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:49,209 Let's go, Barry. 502 00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:53,180 BARRY: Mom, is my burrito still in your car? 503 00:16:53,213 --> 00:16:54,347 I'm sorry about that. 504 00:16:54,381 --> 00:16:57,450 My mom is just always on top of me. 505 00:16:57,484 --> 00:17:00,553 With the visits and constant attention, it's too much. 506 00:17:00,587 --> 00:17:03,456 Well, my parents aren't even here. 507 00:17:03,490 --> 00:17:05,825 At least you get along, and, you know, they're cool. 508 00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:09,196 So cool they forgot to even show up. 509 00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:10,530 Wait. They're not coming? 510 00:17:10,563 --> 00:17:12,132 This happens all the time 511 00:17:12,165 --> 00:17:15,668 'cause funny thing is that they don't care. 512 00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:18,671 But clearly your mom does. 513 00:17:18,705 --> 00:17:20,707 I don't think you know how good you have it. 514 00:17:28,915 --> 00:17:30,650 ADULT ADAM: After being driven away by Erica, 515 00:17:30,683 --> 00:17:33,620 my mom was wrapping up the worst Parents Weekend ever. 516 00:17:33,653 --> 00:17:35,322 Pinball! Pinball! Pinball! 517 00:17:35,355 --> 00:17:36,856 Pinball! Pinball! Yes! 518 00:17:36,889 --> 00:17:39,326 Barry! It's a lot. 519 00:17:39,359 --> 00:17:41,861 I know. I almost broke my high score from this morning. 520 00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:43,230 (PINBALL MACHINE DINGING) 521 00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:44,797 Oh, don't worry. I'm just leaving. 522 00:17:44,831 --> 00:17:48,201 Mom, stay. Pinball! Pinball! Yes! 523 00:17:48,235 --> 00:17:51,171 I never should've made up Parents Thursday. 524 00:17:51,204 --> 00:17:54,207 Not to mention the whole "lost at sea" thing. 525 00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:56,008 That was a nice touch. 526 00:17:56,042 --> 00:17:58,678 Look, it took me a long time to make my first college friend, 527 00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:00,380 and I was worried you'd scare her off. 528 00:18:01,248 --> 00:18:02,515 Scare her off? 529 00:18:02,549 --> 00:18:04,884 You can be... Overwhelming. 530 00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,386 Pinball! Pinball! Pinball! Yes! 531 00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:08,921 Damn it, Barry. I'm taking the pinball away. 532 00:18:08,955 --> 00:18:11,658 I know, but you not wanting me in your life 533 00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:14,026 is the worst pain a mama can have. 534 00:18:14,060 --> 00:18:15,995 I'm sorry. 535 00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:19,232 And the truth is, I love how much you care, 536 00:18:19,266 --> 00:18:21,401 even if sometimes it's a lot. 537 00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:22,469 Really? 538 00:18:23,069 --> 00:18:24,304 More than you know. 539 00:18:25,572 --> 00:18:28,074 So, Parents Weekend isn't over. 540 00:18:28,107 --> 00:18:30,877 Maybe you want to grab dinner with me and my new friend Ren? 541 00:18:31,644 --> 00:18:33,580 That would be perfect. 542 00:18:35,282 --> 00:18:36,583 ADULT ADAM: It's easy to be scared 543 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,718 of pushing someone new in your life away. 544 00:18:38,751 --> 00:18:42,422 But then you remember the people closest to you will always back you up. 545 00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:45,958 Hey, uh, shouldn't you be putting on the tights or whatever? 546 00:18:45,992 --> 00:18:47,727 I'm not doing the dumb play. 547 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:50,363 Why not? Asha was just using me. 548 00:18:50,397 --> 00:18:52,865 Then I screwed up with Dana. Now I got nothing. 549 00:18:52,899 --> 00:18:54,867 (SIGHS) 550 00:18:54,901 --> 00:18:55,968 (SIGHS) 551 00:18:56,002 --> 00:18:58,137 You know, I read this thing. 552 00:18:58,171 --> 00:19:00,240 You read Romeo and Juliet? 553 00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:02,809 There's only one difference between you and Romeo. 554 00:19:02,842 --> 00:19:04,744 He had his heart set on one girl. 555 00:19:04,777 --> 00:19:07,046 (SIGHS) I guess I did get a little carried away. 556 00:19:07,079 --> 00:19:09,449 Yeah. Young love is difficult. 557 00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:10,750 Totally. 558 00:19:10,783 --> 00:19:13,119 If you stay patient, you'll meet your Juliet. 559 00:19:15,087 --> 00:19:16,088 Thanks, Dad. 560 00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:18,758 Also, I talked to Principal Ball. 561 00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:21,261 He's gonna let the play go back to the original Shakespeare. 562 00:19:21,294 --> 00:19:22,995 You did that? Why? 563 00:19:23,029 --> 00:19:26,333 Because my son is starring as Romeo, 564 00:19:26,366 --> 00:19:28,435 and I wouldn't miss that for anything. 565 00:19:30,403 --> 00:19:33,306 ADULT ADAM: That night, my dad convinced me I could be a leading man. 566 00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:36,108 I just had to remember why I did this in the first place. 567 00:19:36,142 --> 00:19:37,444 Hey. 568 00:19:37,477 --> 00:19:38,845 Hey. 569 00:19:40,347 --> 00:19:41,981 Look, I'm sorry. 570 00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:44,417 I didn't mean to make you feel like some runner-up. 571 00:19:44,451 --> 00:19:46,118 Whatever. I get it. 572 00:19:46,152 --> 00:19:48,154 The truth is, I only tried out for the play 573 00:19:48,187 --> 00:19:49,822 so you wouldn't end up with Andrew Gallery. 574 00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:51,591 Really? 575 00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:53,125 It's stupid, I know. 576 00:19:53,159 --> 00:19:55,194 No, it's sweet. 577 00:19:55,228 --> 00:19:56,496 And if we're being honest, 578 00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:59,499 seeing you kiss Asha made me extra bummed I wasn't Juliet. 579 00:20:00,733 --> 00:20:02,369 All right, places! Places, everyone! Come on! 580 00:20:02,402 --> 00:20:05,137 Oh, crap! We're not in business casual? 581 00:20:07,507 --> 00:20:10,377 Guess I'll see you out there. Break a leg. You too. 582 00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:12,779 ADULT ADAM: Life has a funny way of bringing familiar faces 583 00:20:12,812 --> 00:20:15,348 back into our lives right when we need it most. 584 00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:17,016 And then there's those new faces 585 00:20:17,049 --> 00:20:18,751 who can help make our lives complete. 586 00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:22,722 I'd waited three long years to kiss Dana again. 587 00:20:22,755 --> 00:20:25,525 If we were meant to be, this moment would say it all. 588 00:20:25,558 --> 00:20:27,059 * Every little thing she does... 589 00:20:27,093 --> 00:20:28,160 (RECORD SCRATCHES) 590 00:20:28,194 --> 00:20:30,497 And I didn't feel anything. 591 00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:31,631 Oof. 592 00:20:31,664 --> 00:20:33,333 That's a swing and a miss. 593 00:20:33,366 --> 00:20:34,734 Shakespeare was right. 594 00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:37,504 Young love is totally complicated. 595 00:20:37,537 --> 00:20:40,407 And I was a long way from figuring it out. 596 00:20:41,774 --> 00:20:44,677 * Now I know my love for her goes on 597 00:20:44,711 --> 00:20:47,714 * Every little thing she does is magic * 598 00:20:50,116 --> 00:20:52,184 Then I defy you, stars! 599 00:20:52,218 --> 00:20:54,354 Thus with a kiss... 600 00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:02,395 Gah! I'm here to apologize. 601 00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:04,931 I may have said some untoward things about you. 602 00:21:04,964 --> 00:21:08,501 Being a goober, a spaz, a weenie, a total buttweed. 603 00:21:08,535 --> 00:21:09,869 Yeah. I don't need a whole recap. 604 00:21:09,902 --> 00:21:12,672 I also said that your flimsy, unformed child body 605 00:21:12,705 --> 00:21:15,342 was not only shapeless, but weak and gross. 606 00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:16,509 I kinda have to get to class. 607 00:21:16,543 --> 00:21:19,512 Additionally, I spoke of your manly prowess as a joke. 608 00:21:19,546 --> 00:21:20,913 You know who you should really meet? 609 00:21:20,947 --> 00:21:22,214 Asha! Andrew! 610 00:21:23,650 --> 00:21:26,018 Well, who in the hell is this smiling simpleton? 611 00:21:26,052 --> 00:21:27,720 Okay, then. You three have fun.