1 00:00:01,269 --> 00:00:03,637 ADULT ADAM: Back in the '80s, National Lampoon's Vacation 2 00:00:03,671 --> 00:00:06,274 was the best road-trip comedy ever. 3 00:00:06,307 --> 00:00:08,776 Yep, the Griswold family tore across America, 4 00:00:08,809 --> 00:00:11,179 and no one loved it more than my mom. 5 00:00:11,212 --> 00:00:14,715 Yes! This movie has everything I love and deserve! 6 00:00:14,748 --> 00:00:16,950 So pack your bags so I can unpack them 7 00:00:16,984 --> 00:00:18,986 and then repack them again properly 8 00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:22,456 because the Goldbergs are going on vacation! 9 00:00:22,490 --> 00:00:23,691 I don't know, Mom. 10 00:00:23,724 --> 00:00:26,127 That family's trip seemed super stressful and difficult. 11 00:00:26,160 --> 00:00:27,528 And they like each other. 12 00:00:27,561 --> 00:00:29,029 But we have one week left 13 00:00:29,063 --> 00:00:31,599 before Barry and Erica jet off to college. 14 00:00:31,632 --> 00:00:32,766 It's 10 minutes away. 15 00:00:32,800 --> 00:00:33,967 On nice days, I might walk. 16 00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:36,937 And Adam's starting life as a high-school upperclassman. 17 00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:38,472 Now when the juniors throw food at me... 18 00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:40,174 (SNIFFS) ...they'll be my peers. 19 00:00:40,208 --> 00:00:42,376 Such a dork. You shame us daily. 20 00:00:42,410 --> 00:00:45,946 So we're gonna take one last unforgettable family vacation 21 00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:48,816 before everybody starts the next big chapter in their lives! 22 00:00:48,849 --> 00:00:49,983 What do you say? 23 00:00:50,017 --> 00:00:51,719 We love you, but pass. 24 00:00:51,752 --> 00:00:54,822 You're gonna pass on a trip to Disneyland? 25 00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:57,191 Oh, balls! I love you now! 26 00:00:57,225 --> 00:00:59,193 Ah, that's right! Embrace your mama! 27 00:00:59,227 --> 00:01:00,894 Star Wars just opened a ride there! 28 00:01:00,928 --> 00:01:02,163 It's called "Star Tours"! 29 00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:04,132 You get to travel to the forest moon of Endor! 30 00:01:04,165 --> 00:01:06,500 Well, I "Endor" you. Boop! 31 00:01:06,534 --> 00:01:08,236 Even you can't ruin this. 32 00:01:08,269 --> 00:01:11,139 Star Wars teaming up with Disney is just so big! 33 00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:13,541 Sure, I wish they'd dedicate a whole land to Star Wars, 34 00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:15,543 but that's just a little boy's dream! 35 00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:17,545 (LAUGHS) Barry? 36 00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:20,348 Wanna give mama a huggy 'cause she's the best in the game? 37 00:01:20,381 --> 00:01:22,150 I'm not going to Disneyland! 38 00:01:22,183 --> 00:01:24,585 I'm a grown adult man who will be starting 39 00:01:24,618 --> 00:01:26,854 a fully accredited university in a week. 40 00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:28,756 But you love that Snow White. 41 00:01:28,789 --> 00:01:31,024 You've had a crush on her since you could talk. 42 00:01:31,058 --> 00:01:32,493 Which was late for your age. 43 00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:33,694 But still. 44 00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:35,129 Sure, Ms. White has pretty hair 45 00:01:35,163 --> 00:01:37,030 and she's patient with those dwarves 46 00:01:37,064 --> 00:01:38,599 in a way you know you'd just vibe with her, 47 00:01:38,632 --> 00:01:39,933 but not at all! 48 00:01:39,967 --> 00:01:41,068 Who cares! 49 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,903 I can't believe we're flying to California! 50 00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,905 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! 51 00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:46,607 That won't give me enough time 52 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,108 squished together with my squishies. 53 00:01:48,142 --> 00:01:49,843 (CHUCKLES) We're driving! 54 00:01:49,877 --> 00:01:52,146 To the airport and then we're flying? 55 00:01:52,180 --> 00:01:53,547 When will I learn not to hug 56 00:01:53,581 --> 00:01:55,383 until I hear all of the details? 57 00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:57,751 It'll be just like the Griswolds. We're gonna see America! 58 00:01:57,785 --> 00:01:59,720 This America? I've seen it. 59 00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:01,255 It's all corn. 60 00:02:01,289 --> 00:02:04,758 Look, I just finished following the Grateful Dead in a van with Geoff. 61 00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:06,760 I'm not going back out there. Me neither! 62 00:02:06,794 --> 00:02:08,762 If you don't, I won't pay for college. 63 00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:10,130 Yay, everyone's in! 64 00:02:10,164 --> 00:02:11,399 What's all the noise? 65 00:02:11,432 --> 00:02:13,534 I can barely hear myself eat my creme cookies. 66 00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:15,203 We're driving to Disneyland! 67 00:02:15,236 --> 00:02:17,205 I get the feeling I don't have a say in this. 68 00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:19,106 Hmm, I get that feeling, too! Yay! 69 00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,274 Why did I come in here? 70 00:02:20,308 --> 00:02:21,809 And I got a Polaroid 71 00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:23,377 so I can take a photo diary of our trip! 72 00:02:23,411 --> 00:02:24,445 Come on, squeeze together. 73 00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:25,946 I don't want to be near your dad. 74 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,415 He smells like coffee and onions. 75 00:02:27,448 --> 00:02:30,284 BEVERLY: Squeeze in. You ain't exactly cinnamon and sugar, sweetheart. 76 00:02:30,318 --> 00:02:32,253 I don't know where my body ends and Adam's begins. 77 00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:34,422 This trip is already the worst thing that's ever happened to me! 78 00:02:34,455 --> 00:02:35,956 Just take the damn picture! 79 00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:41,462 * Holiday ro-o-o-o-o-o-o-ad * 80 00:02:41,495 --> 00:02:44,131 ADULT ADAM: It was the last week of summer, 1980-something, 81 00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,833 and the Goldbergs were about to hit the road. 82 00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:48,502 Of course that meant my dad was excited about one thing, 83 00:02:48,536 --> 00:02:49,737 saving money. 84 00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:51,104 Lose the bathrobe. 85 00:02:51,138 --> 00:02:54,908 It's a traditional Jedi cloak revered the galaxy over. 86 00:02:54,942 --> 00:02:57,278 Well, I'd revere a tank top if I were you, 87 00:02:57,311 --> 00:02:59,413 because I'm not using the air conditioning. 88 00:02:59,447 --> 00:03:01,482 You're not cheaping out on this trip, Murray. 89 00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:02,950 We have to make it perfect 90 00:03:02,983 --> 00:03:04,585 so that no matter how old they get 91 00:03:04,618 --> 00:03:06,119 or where they are in the world, 92 00:03:06,153 --> 00:03:08,021 they'll want to do this for years to come. 93 00:03:08,055 --> 00:03:09,657 An annual trip? 94 00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:11,292 I was just sitting, enjoying my cookies. 95 00:03:11,325 --> 00:03:13,193 Now our financial future is in doubt? 96 00:03:13,227 --> 00:03:14,695 Good news, everyone! 97 00:03:14,728 --> 00:03:16,430 I'm bringing my banjo. 98 00:03:16,464 --> 00:03:18,031 No. Roger that. 99 00:03:18,065 --> 00:03:20,601 Attention, uneducated masses! 100 00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:21,935 As you all know, 101 00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:23,671 I'll be attending college in a week, 102 00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:25,473 so I need to be in tip-top shape... 103 00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:26,874 Mind and body. 104 00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:28,175 Is that why you're holding 105 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:30,378 your mom's titanium leg pretzel? 106 00:03:30,411 --> 00:03:32,045 This thigh-blasting machine 107 00:03:32,079 --> 00:03:33,847 is my ticket to physical dominance. 108 00:03:33,881 --> 00:03:35,683 Just do your dumb thing in the car. 109 00:03:35,716 --> 00:03:37,150 Where's your sister? We got to get going. 110 00:03:37,184 --> 00:03:38,519 Saying goodbye to her boyfriend. 111 00:03:38,552 --> 00:03:39,820 You really don't want to come 112 00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:42,356 and be jammed in a station wagon with my family for a week? 113 00:03:42,390 --> 00:03:43,691 And I answered my own question. 114 00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:44,892 Look, I'll be on the road, too. 115 00:03:44,925 --> 00:03:46,794 The Dead have four more concerts left this summer. 116 00:03:46,827 --> 00:03:48,562 I'm hoping by the last one, I finally like them. 117 00:03:48,596 --> 00:03:50,731 (HORN HONKS) Erica! Let's go! 118 00:03:50,764 --> 00:03:52,300 (ENGINE STARTS) Um... 119 00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:54,668 One more thing, we need to talk. 120 00:03:54,702 --> 00:03:55,736 Oh? What is it? 121 00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:56,837 (HORN HONKS) Erica! 122 00:03:56,870 --> 00:03:57,905 Gas is burning! 123 00:03:57,938 --> 00:03:59,039 You know what? It's nothing. 124 00:03:59,072 --> 00:04:00,474 It... It can wait until after your trip. 125 00:04:00,508 --> 00:04:02,510 I don't want to spoil it. (HONKING CONTINUES) 126 00:04:02,543 --> 00:04:04,878 I better get moving, too. B-bye! 127 00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:06,647 Erica! 128 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:07,981 (TIRES SCREECH) BEVERLY: We're doing it! 129 00:04:08,015 --> 00:04:10,050 The Goldbergs are going on vacation! 130 00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:12,753 * I found out long ago * 131 00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:15,188 (SONG SLOWS, STOPS) 132 00:04:15,222 --> 00:04:16,990 BARRY: (CHUCKLES) We couldn't even leave! 133 00:04:17,024 --> 00:04:18,726 ADULT ADAM: But eventually we did. 134 00:04:18,759 --> 00:04:20,928 And once we hit the highway, it was smooth sailing. 135 00:04:20,961 --> 00:04:23,764 Of course, there were some bumps inside the car. 136 00:04:23,797 --> 00:04:25,866 Gah! You keep smashing into me! Stop it! 137 00:04:25,899 --> 00:04:27,535 No can do, Ad-Rock. 138 00:04:27,568 --> 00:04:30,170 And be warned, as my muscles grow, expand, 139 00:04:30,203 --> 00:04:32,440 and explode outward, I'll need more space. 140 00:04:32,473 --> 00:04:34,107 Why do I always have to sit in the middle? 141 00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:35,843 'Cause windows are for college men, 142 00:04:35,876 --> 00:04:37,210 not high school losers! 143 00:04:37,244 --> 00:04:39,279 Yeah, you keep calling yourself a college man, 144 00:04:39,313 --> 00:04:41,549 but come next week, you're in for a rude awakening. 145 00:04:41,582 --> 00:04:42,683 What's that supposed to mean? 146 00:04:42,716 --> 00:04:44,452 It means you might be in college, 147 00:04:44,485 --> 00:04:46,253 but you're just gonna be a lowly freshman, 148 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,221 totally starting from scratch socially. 149 00:04:48,255 --> 00:04:50,758 Have you not seen the work I've been doing on my thighs? 150 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,025 College is gonna love me. 151 00:04:52,059 --> 00:04:54,562 Or the safety of the only world you've known 152 00:04:54,595 --> 00:04:55,629 will have vanished, 153 00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:57,531 and you'll discover that there's no place 154 00:04:57,565 --> 00:05:00,634 for an emotionally out-of-control doof with a thigh device. 155 00:05:00,668 --> 00:05:02,936 What? I am not an emotionally out-of-control doof! 156 00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:04,037 You are! 157 00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:05,639 Adam, quit working your brother up. 158 00:05:05,673 --> 00:05:06,874 He's gonna strain his groin. 159 00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:08,942 Erica, switch seats with me, please. 160 00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:11,779 Hey, if a guy says he needs to talk, is that bad? 161 00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,781 Ooh. Is that a good "ooh"? 162 00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,616 Uh. Is that a good "uh"? 163 00:05:15,649 --> 00:05:16,950 You and Geoff are toast! 164 00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:19,387 And not good toast with tons of marmalade and butter. 165 00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:21,822 Bad toast that's burnt and breaking up with you. 166 00:05:21,855 --> 00:05:23,757 He's not breaking up with me! 167 00:05:23,791 --> 00:05:25,459 He just got real serious, 168 00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:27,294 and then said he didn't want to ruin my vacation 169 00:05:27,327 --> 00:05:29,397 by telling me something and sped off and... 170 00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:30,898 Oh, my God, Geoff's breaking up with me! 171 00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:31,965 You should call him. 172 00:05:31,999 --> 00:05:33,266 How? He's on the road, too! 173 00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:34,968 I guess you just won't know for a week. 174 00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:36,770 But hey, look on the bright side... 175 00:05:36,804 --> 00:05:37,905 Star Wars. 176 00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:38,972 Yeah, that sounds fun 177 00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:41,675 and so much more important than my relationship! 178 00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:42,943 BEVERLY: You know what's fun? 179 00:05:42,976 --> 00:05:44,478 A sing-along! (ERICA GROANS) 180 00:05:44,512 --> 00:05:45,646 (CHUCKLES) Oh, come on! 181 00:05:45,679 --> 00:05:47,781 I'll start us all off. 182 00:05:47,815 --> 00:05:49,483 * Row, row, row your boat 183 00:05:49,517 --> 00:05:51,118 * Gently down the stream 184 00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:52,185 Jump in! 185 00:05:52,219 --> 00:05:53,987 * Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily 186 00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:55,122 * Life is but a dream 187 00:05:55,155 --> 00:05:56,189 Anyone now! 188 00:05:56,223 --> 00:05:58,158 * Row, row, row your boat 189 00:05:58,191 --> 00:05:59,660 * Gently down the stream 190 00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:00,928 There's your cue! 191 00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:02,496 * Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily 192 00:06:02,530 --> 00:06:03,597 * Life is but a dream 193 00:06:03,631 --> 00:06:04,665 Make it yours. 194 00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,600 * Row, row, row your boat 195 00:06:06,634 --> 00:06:08,001 * Gently down the stream 196 00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:09,102 Just the girls! 197 00:06:09,136 --> 00:06:11,104 * Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily 198 00:06:11,138 --> 00:06:15,443 * Life is but a dre-e-e-am * 199 00:06:15,476 --> 00:06:17,144 (LAUGHS) 200 00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:18,446 That was great! 201 00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:21,815 ADULT ADAM: Yep, our vacation was off to a slow start. 202 00:06:21,849 --> 00:06:23,617 But somewhere along the open road, 203 00:06:23,651 --> 00:06:26,053 things were about to kick into high gear. 204 00:06:26,086 --> 00:06:28,121 What the hell is this nut job doing? 205 00:06:28,155 --> 00:06:30,390 Hey! Go around! 206 00:06:30,424 --> 00:06:32,826 I think she's flirting with you, Murray. 207 00:06:32,860 --> 00:06:35,128 Whoa, it's just like in the movie! 208 00:06:35,162 --> 00:06:36,363 But when you see it in real life, 209 00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:37,798 it just comes off as wildly reckless! 210 00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:39,032 ** 211 00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:40,801 You're being very aggressive! 212 00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:42,169 He's spoken for! 213 00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:43,236 Show her your wedding ring! 214 00:06:43,270 --> 00:06:45,238 I think she's eyeballing me. 215 00:06:45,272 --> 00:06:46,574 Move your melon, Murray, 216 00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:49,076 so I can enchant her with a coy wink. 217 00:06:49,109 --> 00:06:50,210 This can't be real. 218 00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:53,213 Oh, it's real, all right. 219 00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:55,883 My fruit guy's nephew was seduced by a road hussy 220 00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:57,485 and he woke up in a bathtub 221 00:06:57,518 --> 00:07:00,387 missing his kidney, spleen, corneas, and rectum. 222 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,089 There are road hussies? 223 00:07:02,122 --> 00:07:03,491 Geoff's on the road! 224 00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:04,558 And single. 225 00:07:04,592 --> 00:07:05,759 We don't know that! 226 00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:08,228 (ENGINE REVS) 227 00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,531 ADULT ADAM: As Pops' blonde beauty sped away, 228 00:07:10,564 --> 00:07:12,432 we headed towards our first pit stop, 229 00:07:12,466 --> 00:07:14,034 the Old West. 230 00:07:14,067 --> 00:07:17,505 See, back in 1980-something, it was 1880-something. 231 00:07:17,538 --> 00:07:20,007 Would you look at this place? 232 00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:22,109 It's like stepping back in time! 233 00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:24,545 The hotel room prices are certainly up-to-date. 234 00:07:24,578 --> 00:07:25,913 SHERIFF: Howdy, folks. 235 00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:29,517 Welcome to Durango Gulch, population 237. 236 00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:31,118 Oops. 237 00:07:31,151 --> 00:07:33,020 Looks like 236. 238 00:07:33,053 --> 00:07:34,555 Funny stuff, Quick Draw McGraw. 239 00:07:34,588 --> 00:07:36,089 But, um, where's the pay phones? 240 00:07:36,123 --> 00:07:37,925 It's the 19th century, ma'am. 241 00:07:37,958 --> 00:07:41,228 I don't reckon to know what hifalutin contraption you're speaking about. 242 00:07:41,261 --> 00:07:43,564 Okay, so you're just gonna keep doing the thing? 243 00:07:43,597 --> 00:07:45,298 Great. I'll be in the saloon. 244 00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:46,934 (GRUNTING) 245 00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:49,269 Ooh, looks like we got a real cowboy here. 246 00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:50,804 You just step off the trail, pardner? 247 00:07:50,838 --> 00:07:52,873 I'm walking like this because I blasted my thighs 248 00:07:52,906 --> 00:07:54,975 with unbridled intensity for 300 miles. 249 00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:56,443 How would you two little wranglers 250 00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:58,111 like to be my deputies? 251 00:07:58,145 --> 00:07:59,379 (BADGE CLATTERS) 252 00:07:59,412 --> 00:08:01,381 "Little wrangler"? 253 00:08:01,414 --> 00:08:04,284 I'm a man who could grow twice the mustache you have 254 00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,119 except then you'd be humiliated, 255 00:08:06,153 --> 00:08:07,220 and I'd become sheriff, 256 00:08:07,254 --> 00:08:08,989 and I don't want that responsibility. 257 00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:12,325 Ohh... Ow, ow. Ohh. 258 00:08:12,359 --> 00:08:15,495 Not cool, man! Not cool! 259 00:08:15,529 --> 00:08:18,131 Yeah, I don't think he totally gets what this place is. 260 00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:19,633 ** 261 00:08:19,667 --> 00:08:21,468 There's no way he's breaking up with me. 262 00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:23,671 I mean, look at me. I'm a catch. 263 00:08:23,704 --> 00:08:25,673 I guess I am a little bossy, 264 00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:27,107 but what man doesn't like that? 265 00:08:28,976 --> 00:08:30,911 Damn it! He's so leaving me! 266 00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:31,979 Love isn't real! 267 00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:33,413 Neither is your ID. 268 00:08:33,446 --> 00:08:34,848 Oh, sure, you don't have phones, 269 00:08:34,882 --> 00:08:36,650 but you check my fake driver's license? 270 00:08:36,684 --> 00:08:37,751 Pick a century! 271 00:08:37,785 --> 00:08:40,120 ** 272 00:08:41,388 --> 00:08:43,824 Yo, wanna go ride a dead-eyed mule in a circle? 273 00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:45,192 It's super sad! 274 00:08:45,225 --> 00:08:48,061 No! I'm not going on some dumb kid's ride. Just leave me alone. 275 00:08:48,095 --> 00:08:50,564 Are you really still upset that I accurately suggested 276 00:08:50,598 --> 00:08:52,733 you're not ready for the next major step in your life? 277 00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:56,169 Please, your devastating words had no effect on me. 278 00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:57,638 I know I'm a man! 279 00:08:57,671 --> 00:09:00,007 (ALL WHOOPING) 280 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,642 SHERIFF: Oh, no! 281 00:09:01,675 --> 00:09:04,011 Bandits have surrounded the stagecoach! 282 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:05,112 And I'm gonna prove it! 283 00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:06,980 Is there one man brave enough 284 00:09:07,014 --> 00:09:09,850 to stop these banditos with this here lasso? 285 00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:13,020 I am that one man, Fake Sheriff. 286 00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,788 You know your way around a rope, son? 287 00:09:14,822 --> 00:09:16,056 Of course I know ropes. 288 00:09:16,089 --> 00:09:18,325 I've played tug-of-war and the board game Clue... 289 00:09:18,358 --> 00:09:21,028 But we lost that piece, so we use an old checker. 290 00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:24,197 Now just swing this thing in a slow circular pattern. 291 00:09:24,231 --> 00:09:25,532 ** 292 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:26,634 Yah! 293 00:09:26,667 --> 00:09:28,368 Yah! 294 00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:29,469 Yah! 295 00:09:29,502 --> 00:09:31,171 Yah! Yah! 296 00:09:31,204 --> 00:09:33,173 (GLASS SHATTERS) 297 00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:35,375 Is that one of those cheap plate-glass windows 298 00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:36,844 that cowboys are always crashing through? 299 00:09:36,877 --> 00:09:38,045 It is not. 300 00:09:38,078 --> 00:09:39,813 ** 301 00:09:39,847 --> 00:09:41,214 MURRAY: Morons! 302 00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:44,484 I mean, who gets kicked out of an imaginary Western town? 303 00:09:44,517 --> 00:09:46,319 Those rooms were non-refundable! 304 00:09:46,353 --> 00:09:47,621 Well, this is just perfect. 305 00:09:47,655 --> 00:09:49,222 Where are we supposed to stay tonight? 306 00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:51,324 Don't you worry about me. 307 00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:53,460 ** 308 00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:57,898 Hey, Al. Ready to go? 309 00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,366 You know it, sweetie. 310 00:10:00,167 --> 00:10:01,835 I'm gonna miss you guys. 311 00:10:01,869 --> 00:10:03,671 You know, you're welcome to stay. 312 00:10:03,704 --> 00:10:05,873 I... I'm being polite. Punch it! 313 00:10:05,906 --> 00:10:07,540 (TIRES SQUEAL) 314 00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:09,109 BEVERLY: Okay. 315 00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:10,944 We're still together mostly. 316 00:10:10,978 --> 00:10:13,246 Don't worry, I've already thought of 317 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:15,082 a cheap, available place for us to sleep. 318 00:10:15,115 --> 00:10:17,951 ADULT ADAM: That night, our hotel didn't have four stars. 319 00:10:17,985 --> 00:10:19,119 It had four wheels. 320 00:10:19,152 --> 00:10:20,788 Stop fluffing me, I'm not a pillow! 321 00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:21,889 Then get softer! 322 00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:24,024 Will you two dopes shut up? 323 00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:26,794 My God, this trip sucks. 324 00:10:26,827 --> 00:10:28,595 At least it's the last one we'll ever take together. 325 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:31,765 Until Mom forces us to do this all again next year. 326 00:10:31,799 --> 00:10:34,601 Dummy, we're going off to college. 327 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:37,037 We're not doing this again. Ever. 328 00:10:37,070 --> 00:10:39,272 ERICA: Yeah, we're not just moving out. 329 00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:41,208 We're moving on for good. 330 00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:43,276 ADULT ADAM: In that moment, I realized our family 331 00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:45,278 was truly going their separate ways. 332 00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:47,580 No more crazy adventures with my brother or sister. 333 00:10:47,614 --> 00:10:49,249 And no more middle seat. 334 00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:50,617 I'm okay with it. 335 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:53,186 But there was one person who would never be okay with it. 336 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:58,091 ADULT ADAM: Our family vacation was still on track for Disneyland, 337 00:10:58,125 --> 00:11:00,427 but my mom's mind was on a different path. 338 00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:02,095 Murray, the kids aren't gonna go away to college 339 00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:04,331 and never come back, right? I dunno. 340 00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:06,099 Sure they're growing up, but they love us 341 00:11:06,133 --> 00:11:08,736 and want to stay in our lives forever! I dunno. 342 00:11:08,769 --> 00:11:11,004 My children will spend every summer with me 343 00:11:11,038 --> 00:11:12,605 until the day I die! (MUMBLES) 344 00:11:12,639 --> 00:11:14,141 And even then, they're gonna carry my urn 345 00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,909 on every vacation they ever take. 346 00:11:15,943 --> 00:11:18,111 Of course! Well, you're finally agreeing with me? 347 00:11:18,145 --> 00:11:20,113 Of course they're screwing me at the pump! 348 00:11:20,147 --> 00:11:22,149 $9 to fill up a tank? 349 00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:25,518 Our babies are choosing to de-latch from our collective bosom 350 00:11:25,552 --> 00:11:28,155 and all you care about is gas mileage! 351 00:11:28,188 --> 00:11:29,422 What do you want from me? 352 00:11:29,456 --> 00:11:31,124 I don't know what those morons are gonna do. 353 00:11:31,158 --> 00:11:32,525 But I do know they're here now, 354 00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:35,362 so let's, uh, drive around or, uh, whatever. 355 00:11:35,395 --> 00:11:36,496 That's right! 356 00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:37,965 They're with us now! 357 00:11:37,998 --> 00:11:40,100 So if we make this trip extra special, 358 00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:41,835 they're gonna want to come back for more! 359 00:11:41,869 --> 00:11:43,570 (GASPS) Yeah, I dunno. 360 00:11:43,603 --> 00:11:46,006 ADULT ADAM: As my mom was trying to keep her family together, 361 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:49,209 my sister was trying to keep her relationship from falling apart. 362 00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:50,944 Hey, Geoff, it's Erica. 363 00:11:50,978 --> 00:11:54,281 Just checking in to see what you meant by, "We need to talk." 364 00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:57,350 Probably just wanted to say how we have no problems 365 00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:59,119 and we're a perfect couple. 366 00:11:59,152 --> 00:12:01,855 Okay, well, have fun on the road, bye! 367 00:12:01,889 --> 00:12:04,657 Unfortunately, she couldn't leave just one message. 368 00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:07,060 Here's what "We need to talk" means to me. 369 00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:08,561 It means we have a problem. 370 00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:09,863 So is... Is it me? 371 00:12:09,897 --> 00:12:11,231 You're the problem, Geoff! 372 00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:12,833 Maybe I don't want you! 373 00:12:12,866 --> 00:12:14,567 Come back to me, my widdle Geoffy-weffy. 374 00:12:14,601 --> 00:12:15,668 You're a butt! 375 00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:17,470 And not just the tiny part of the butt, 376 00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:18,538 but the whole mound. 377 00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:21,108 The cheeks, the smelly region, all of it. 378 00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:24,311 Okey-doke. I think I got it. 379 00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:25,378 Thanks, Dr. Schwartz. 380 00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:26,546 Oh, I almost forgot. 381 00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:28,481 Geoffrey called and passed on a message of his own. 382 00:12:28,515 --> 00:12:29,549 What did he say? 383 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:31,985 He said he needs to tell you in person, 384 00:12:32,019 --> 00:12:34,321 but it's big and possibly upsetting. 385 00:12:34,354 --> 00:12:36,423 That doesn't help at all. It just makes everything worse! 386 00:12:36,456 --> 00:12:37,757 Sure thing, honey. Bye now. 387 00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:39,759 ** 388 00:12:39,793 --> 00:12:41,194 Why didn't you get a slushie? 389 00:12:41,228 --> 00:12:42,729 They had your favorite... Blue. 390 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:45,365 Real men don't drink that delicious crap. 391 00:12:45,398 --> 00:12:46,834 They drink boiling-hot coffee. 392 00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:48,235 But you hate coffee. 393 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,203 That was Yesterday Barry. 394 00:12:50,237 --> 00:12:52,873 But now my taste buds and skittish tummy have matured. 395 00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:57,010 How could you put this in your body? 396 00:12:57,044 --> 00:12:59,012 Ugh! 397 00:12:59,046 --> 00:13:00,380 I love it. 398 00:13:00,413 --> 00:13:03,516 Okay, Bar, clearly I freaked you out about starting college... 399 00:13:03,550 --> 00:13:04,751 I'm not freaked out! 400 00:13:04,784 --> 00:13:06,086 If anything, I'm freaked in! 401 00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:08,421 That doesn't mean anything. You don't mean anything! 402 00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,523 You're a tiny boy who doesn't know the struggles 403 00:13:10,557 --> 00:13:13,026 of a fully grown college gentleman! 404 00:13:13,060 --> 00:13:14,895 (GULPING) 405 00:13:14,928 --> 00:13:15,963 Hot! Hot! 406 00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:20,400 This is hard to watch. 407 00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:22,836 But the good news is we'll be in Anaheim in two days. 408 00:13:22,870 --> 00:13:24,237 Change of plans! 409 00:13:24,271 --> 00:13:27,407 I've got a surefire way to make sure everybody loves this vacation... 410 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:29,376 Make it way longer! 411 00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:30,643 Oh, balls. 412 00:13:30,677 --> 00:13:33,881 We are gonna hit every major attraction from here to California. 413 00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:35,048 But that'll take forever. 414 00:13:35,082 --> 00:13:36,483 What about my "Star Tours" ride? 415 00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:39,719 Schmoopie, it's about the journey, not the destination. 416 00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:42,122 Ha! You have to appreciate the journey! 417 00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:44,892 Ah, see? Barry's excited! Who else? 418 00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:47,294 Might as well, my relationship is probably over. 419 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:49,296 See? Another one of my babies didn't say no! 420 00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:50,363 Murray? 421 00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:51,899 I don't care what we do, as long as it's free. 422 00:13:51,932 --> 00:13:53,000 Ah! See? 423 00:13:53,033 --> 00:13:56,069 Everyone's in and happy and we're making memories, 424 00:13:56,103 --> 00:13:58,705 and this is gonna be the best Goldbergs vacation ever! 425 00:13:58,738 --> 00:14:00,007 (LAUGHS) 426 00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:01,975 Say, "Cheese"! 427 00:14:02,009 --> 00:14:04,511 ADULT ADAM: And so we saw America. 428 00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:07,114 In all its weird and magnificent glory. 429 00:14:07,147 --> 00:14:09,216 There were sculptures made of cars, 430 00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:11,118 mountains made of faces, 431 00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:13,320 one big hole. 432 00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,122 But what took our breath away the most 433 00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:18,091 was the crappy motel our dad insisted staying at. 434 00:14:18,125 --> 00:14:20,593 This is the kind of motel where people live full-time. 435 00:14:20,627 --> 00:14:21,828 Uh, it's gross. 436 00:14:21,861 --> 00:14:23,130 It's cozy. 437 00:14:23,163 --> 00:14:24,797 There's police tape around the pool. 438 00:14:24,831 --> 00:14:28,335 That shows the police have already been here. So it's safe. 439 00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:30,503 Look! They got one of those Magic Fingers bed massagers. 440 00:14:30,537 --> 00:14:31,604 BEVERLY: No! 441 00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:33,306 Nobody touch anything 442 00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:35,308 until I hit it with some Lysol Pine action. 443 00:14:35,342 --> 00:14:36,643 I'm turning it on! 444 00:14:36,676 --> 00:14:38,979 My thighs and tummy muscles are still sore! 445 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:43,216 (SIGHS) Let's soothe my aching bones! 446 00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:44,484 (BED VIBRATING) 447 00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:46,987 (VIBRATING INTENSIFIES) Lemme turn it down. 448 00:14:48,588 --> 00:14:50,023 Damn it, moron! 449 00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:51,458 They don't have any more rooms! 450 00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:53,693 What do you do with these things? 451 00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:56,329 I've got a super fun idea that solves everything! 452 00:14:57,864 --> 00:14:59,599 Who can sleep like this? 453 00:14:59,632 --> 00:15:02,235 ADULT ADAM: Yeah, we barely slept a wink that night. 454 00:15:02,269 --> 00:15:03,903 And we were so exhausted the next morning, 455 00:15:03,937 --> 00:15:05,738 everyone passed out in the car. 456 00:15:05,772 --> 00:15:07,174 And I mean everyone. 457 00:15:08,508 --> 00:15:11,378 ** 458 00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:13,446 (ALL SCREAMING) 459 00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:27,060 (BREATHING SHALLOWLY) 460 00:15:27,094 --> 00:15:29,562 Do you think this will affect our time at Disneyland? 461 00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:31,598 ** 462 00:15:31,631 --> 00:15:33,933 Barry, this is all your fault! 463 00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:35,702 You and your stupid bed massager. 464 00:15:35,735 --> 00:15:38,071 I know! I'm not a man! 465 00:15:38,105 --> 00:15:41,274 I'm starting college, but the truth is I still feel like a boy. 466 00:15:41,308 --> 00:15:42,875 Like sad, pathetic little Adam here. 467 00:15:42,909 --> 00:15:43,943 Hey! 468 00:15:43,977 --> 00:15:45,112 Will you shut up? 469 00:15:45,145 --> 00:15:46,279 I mean, look at this! 470 00:15:46,313 --> 00:15:48,381 Now I'll never get to a phone and learn the truth 471 00:15:48,415 --> 00:15:49,816 that I definitely don't wanna know! 472 00:15:49,849 --> 00:15:50,950 My God! 473 00:15:50,984 --> 00:15:53,053 You're both just selfish jerks! 474 00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:54,221 You know, I actually thought 475 00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:56,589 I was gonna miss you next year, but good riddance! 476 00:15:56,623 --> 00:15:57,757 Stop! 477 00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,092 Tell me the truth... 478 00:15:59,126 --> 00:16:02,162 Are you all gonna head out the door for college and never look back? 479 00:16:04,297 --> 00:16:05,932 I see. 480 00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:07,034 (SIGHS) 481 00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:09,902 Every one of these pictures breaks my heart. 482 00:16:09,936 --> 00:16:12,105 You all look sad or angry or miserable. 483 00:16:12,139 --> 00:16:14,107 And that is not what I wanted. 484 00:16:14,141 --> 00:16:16,109 Bevy... No! 485 00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:18,278 Let's just go home and be done with it. 486 00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:21,381 I can't take another day of family vacation 487 00:16:21,414 --> 00:16:23,483 if this is the last one I'm ever gonna have. 488 00:16:23,516 --> 00:16:25,185 ** 489 00:16:27,254 --> 00:16:30,057 ADULT ADAM: Our car and our mom were broken, 490 00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:31,991 and all we wanted was to go home. 491 00:16:32,025 --> 00:16:33,760 I thought we had more suitcases than this. 492 00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:34,827 We did. 493 00:16:34,861 --> 00:16:36,229 At least this horrible trip is over. 494 00:16:36,263 --> 00:16:38,798 ADULT ADAM: But it wasn't. Not for my dad. 495 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:41,901 He was about to head down a road we never expected. 496 00:16:41,934 --> 00:16:43,503 You know what I think? 497 00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:45,138 I think you're all (BLEEP) in the head. 498 00:16:45,172 --> 00:16:46,839 Whoa! Motel language! 499 00:16:46,873 --> 00:16:47,940 You're just gonna give up? 500 00:16:47,974 --> 00:16:49,008 Yeah. Kinda. 501 00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:50,243 Do we have a choice? 502 00:16:50,277 --> 00:16:53,146 Your mom worked her ass off to plan you a great vacation, 503 00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:54,847 and I didn't know why. 504 00:16:54,881 --> 00:16:56,483 But, damn it, I do now. 505 00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:58,818 Murray, what are you saying? 506 00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:00,620 I'm not sure about the future, 507 00:17:00,653 --> 00:17:02,855 but right here, right now, 508 00:17:02,889 --> 00:17:05,658 there's no amount of money I wouldn't spend 509 00:17:05,692 --> 00:17:07,694 for my family to have a great vacation. 510 00:17:07,727 --> 00:17:08,861 Dad's suddenly thoughtful! 511 00:17:08,895 --> 00:17:10,363 He must've banged his head in the accident! 512 00:17:10,397 --> 00:17:11,464 Are you serious? 513 00:17:11,498 --> 00:17:13,766 To keep this family together, 514 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,802 I would spend every last penny. 515 00:17:15,835 --> 00:17:17,770 (CAR HORN HONKS) 516 00:17:17,804 --> 00:17:19,206 Hey, Goldbergs, need a lift? 517 00:17:19,239 --> 00:17:21,074 Thank God! Everybody get in! Come on! 518 00:17:21,108 --> 00:17:22,942 Geoff! How did you find us? 519 00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:25,212 Well, you left my dad a lot of very upsetting messages, 520 00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:27,013 so I drove here as fast as I could. 521 00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:28,981 I followed your suitcases like bread crumbs! 522 00:17:29,015 --> 00:17:30,883 So, what did you want to talk to me about? 523 00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,287 Well... 524 00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:37,824 I had such an amazing time doing nothing this summer, 525 00:17:37,857 --> 00:17:40,360 that I want it to continue. 526 00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:41,761 I'm not going to school in the fall. 527 00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:43,896 Oh, my God! That's it? 528 00:17:43,930 --> 00:17:46,399 Well, yeah. I mean, it's a pretty big deal. 529 00:17:46,433 --> 00:17:47,734 My dad's not thrilled. 530 00:17:47,767 --> 00:17:49,035 And your messages didn't exactly 531 00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,703 fill him with hope for my future. 532 00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:52,839 You jerk! I thought you were breaking up with me! 533 00:17:52,872 --> 00:17:54,241 What? Never. 534 00:17:54,274 --> 00:17:55,942 You're the greatest thing that ever happened to me. 535 00:17:56,576 --> 00:17:57,910 I never doubted it. 536 00:17:57,944 --> 00:18:00,580 ADULT ADAM: Turns out some trips are about finding your way, 537 00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:02,715 and not losing track of where you're headed. 538 00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:04,851 Hey, Bar. About what I said. 539 00:18:04,884 --> 00:18:06,519 No, you were right. 540 00:18:06,553 --> 00:18:07,754 I'm not ready for college. 541 00:18:07,787 --> 00:18:08,888 Of course you are. 542 00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:10,590 You're Big Tasty. 543 00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:13,760 You attack everything you do with the full force of your being. 544 00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:16,429 Trust me, college is gonna be a piece of cake for you. 545 00:18:16,463 --> 00:18:17,764 You really think so? 546 00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:18,931 I know so. 547 00:18:19,732 --> 00:18:21,033 Thanks, Ad-Rock. 548 00:18:21,067 --> 00:18:23,536 ADULT ADAM: Venturing out can be scary, 549 00:18:23,570 --> 00:18:24,737 but it's easier to take that trek 550 00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:26,606 when you're riding with the people you love. 551 00:18:26,639 --> 00:18:29,008 Family vacations are hard. 552 00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:31,944 They're stressful and expensive, 553 00:18:31,978 --> 00:18:33,946 and uncomfortable. 554 00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:35,448 But the thing that makes them great 555 00:18:35,482 --> 00:18:37,884 are the memories of doing it all together. 556 00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:39,419 We're really here. 557 00:18:40,253 --> 00:18:41,288 Thank you, Mama. 558 00:18:42,088 --> 00:18:43,623 Anything for you, schmoo. 559 00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:45,892 Maybe next year we can go to Walt Disney World. 560 00:18:45,925 --> 00:18:46,959 That sounds pretty cool. 561 00:18:46,993 --> 00:18:48,127 Yeah, I guess I'd try it. 562 00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:50,363 Wait... You guys would wanna do this again? 563 00:18:50,397 --> 00:18:51,931 I'm open to it. (GASPS) 564 00:18:51,964 --> 00:18:54,267 Ah! My schmoopies will be with me forever! 565 00:18:54,301 --> 00:18:56,636 (CAR HORN HONKS) 566 00:18:56,669 --> 00:18:58,738 (PARKING BRAKE CLICKS) Are we too late? 567 00:18:58,771 --> 00:19:01,474 We got lost. Intentionally. 568 00:19:01,508 --> 00:19:03,443 Just in time, Pops! We're running for it! 569 00:19:03,476 --> 00:19:06,246 (CHARIOTS OF FIRE PLAYS) 570 00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:08,681 ** 571 00:19:22,161 --> 00:19:24,497 Oh, sorry, park's closed. 572 00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:26,833 What? Oh, no! S-someone do something! 573 00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:28,501 I'm here! (LAUGHS) 574 00:19:28,535 --> 00:19:31,070 Don't worry, schmoo. Mama's got this. 575 00:19:31,103 --> 00:19:32,138 ADULT ADAM: In that moment, 576 00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:33,773 Beverly Goldberg did what she did best... 577 00:19:33,806 --> 00:19:36,175 She lied her ass off. 578 00:19:36,209 --> 00:19:38,978 She told elaborate, far-fetched tales of our journey. 579 00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:41,348 Apparently, we were attacked by bald eagles 580 00:19:41,381 --> 00:19:43,250 and a motorcycle gang? 581 00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:46,253 There was a tornado, and then a tsunami. 582 00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:48,655 And then another tornado. 583 00:19:48,688 --> 00:19:52,325 She wove a tapestry of lies so intricate, so beautiful, 584 00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:54,461 by the end, none of us knew what was real. 585 00:19:54,494 --> 00:19:56,028 ...and that is when little Adam 586 00:19:56,062 --> 00:19:59,098 had to help his grandpa by sucking out the venom. 587 00:19:59,131 --> 00:20:02,335 Wow, you guys have been through a whole lot as a family. 588 00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:04,471 And you know what? I had no idea there were zebras in Arizona. 589 00:20:04,504 --> 00:20:06,339 Zebras are the piranhas of the sand. 590 00:20:06,373 --> 00:20:09,008 Well, you know what? All I meant was the park is closed now. 591 00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:10,377 But it opens in 15 minutes. 592 00:20:10,410 --> 00:20:11,811 (LAUGHS) 593 00:20:11,844 --> 00:20:13,780 Why didn't you say something? 594 00:20:13,813 --> 00:20:15,548 Well, I tried, but you were going on and on and on. 595 00:20:15,582 --> 00:20:17,384 But go on in! Come on, the park's all yours! 596 00:20:17,417 --> 00:20:19,151 Rusty, you're the best! (CHUCKLES) 597 00:20:19,185 --> 00:20:20,987 Let's do it, Adam! Let's go ride "Star Tours"! 598 00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:22,355 No, no! 599 00:20:22,389 --> 00:20:25,224 I think I know something that would be more fun for the whole family. 600 00:20:25,258 --> 00:20:26,693 * Holiday road 601 00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:29,696 ADULT ADAM: We finally made it to the happiest place on Earth. 602 00:20:29,729 --> 00:20:32,131 And as magical as it was, thanks to my mom, 603 00:20:32,164 --> 00:20:35,335 I realized the best part of the Goldberg vacation 604 00:20:35,368 --> 00:20:36,703 was the journey. 605 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:39,506 To this day, we still travel as a family. 606 00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:41,474 Of course, it never gets easier, 607 00:20:41,508 --> 00:20:43,643 but I wouldn't trade it for the world. 608 00:20:43,676 --> 00:20:45,812 (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS) 609 00:20:45,845 --> 00:20:50,650 * Holiday ro-o-o-o-o-o-o-ad 610 00:20:50,683 --> 00:20:55,688 * Holiday ro-o-o-o-o-o-o-ad * 611 00:20:55,722 --> 00:20:57,624 ** 612 00:21:05,264 --> 00:21:08,535 Wakey-wakey! Get out! I was just dreaming about 613 00:21:08,568 --> 00:21:10,236 scoring a touchdown for the Eagles! 614 00:21:10,269 --> 00:21:11,538 But I brought you breakfast. 615 00:21:11,571 --> 00:21:12,772 Well, finally! 616 00:21:12,805 --> 00:21:14,941 I've been trying to take my meals in my room for years. 617 00:21:14,974 --> 00:21:16,208 Gimme! 618 00:21:16,242 --> 00:21:17,677 This is a whole lotta liquids. 619 00:21:17,710 --> 00:21:19,446 All part of a balanced breakfast. 620 00:21:20,580 --> 00:21:21,948 No! My juices! 621 00:21:21,981 --> 00:21:23,916 Oh, no! My hot coffee! 622 00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:26,218 Oh, no! Adam! Hit stop! 623 00:21:26,252 --> 00:21:28,187 I should have never stolen this from the motel! 624 00:21:28,220 --> 00:21:29,489 Yeah, I'm gonna miss you.