1 00:00:01,269 --> 00:00:02,736 ADAM: Who can forget the gruff, 2 00:00:02,803 --> 00:00:04,505 no-nonsense gym teachers of the '80s? 3 00:00:04,572 --> 00:00:06,307 They were true athletic authorities 4 00:00:06,374 --> 00:00:09,443 who demanded respect and ruled our lives with an iron whistle. 5 00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:12,113 None more than William Penn Academy's Coach Mellor. 6 00:00:12,180 --> 00:00:14,982 Well, aren't you a tall glass of Gatorade? 7 00:00:15,049 --> 00:00:16,484 Go get 'em, Ricky! 8 00:00:18,352 --> 00:00:19,920 After a great deal of legal wrangling, 9 00:00:19,987 --> 00:00:22,223 I am excited introduce a new unit... 10 00:00:22,290 --> 00:00:24,058 Full-contact Red Rover. 11 00:00:24,125 --> 00:00:26,060 Oh! Ugh! 12 00:00:26,127 --> 00:00:28,996 Did I hear somebody say "full 13 00:00:29,063 --> 00:00:31,999 But like clockwork, my smother would always save me 14 00:00:32,066 --> 00:00:33,601 from the dangers of physical movement. 15 00:00:33,667 --> 00:00:36,937 I forced Principal Ball to give me an advanced copy of all your units, 16 00:00:37,004 --> 00:00:40,074 and my baby is not doing anything full contact. 17 00:00:40,141 --> 00:00:43,344 It's all very embarrassing, but so worth it. 18 00:00:43,411 --> 00:00:47,014 It sure was, till one fateful day when everything changed. 19 00:00:47,081 --> 00:00:49,983 Today, we will be climbing the celebrated gym rope. 20 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:53,454 Fear not. This inch and a half of blue cushion 21 00:00:53,521 --> 00:00:54,922 will probably break your fall. 22 00:00:54,988 --> 00:00:56,724 Goldfarb, kick us off. 23 00:00:56,790 --> 00:00:58,058 Sorry, Coach. 24 00:00:58,126 --> 00:01:01,195 My old lady likes to keep all this on safe ground. 25 00:01:01,262 --> 00:01:04,365 She'll be here in three, two, one... 26 00:01:04,432 --> 00:01:07,000 Mama! 27 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,103 Face it, Goldfarb, she's a no-show. 28 00:01:09,170 --> 00:01:11,105 Time to let the rope get to know every part of you. 29 00:01:11,172 --> 00:01:13,974 Thing is, my mom's doing this whole Bevolution to reinvent herself 30 00:01:14,041 --> 00:01:15,643 and kind of dropped the ball on her Schmoopie. 31 00:01:15,709 --> 00:01:16,910 Move! 32 00:01:16,977 --> 00:01:19,280 For the very first time, I was Momless 33 00:01:19,347 --> 00:01:21,615 and had to face the infamous rope on my own. 34 00:01:21,682 --> 00:01:26,019 And like many gym scrubs before me, I sucked real bad. 35 00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,788 Coach believes in you, kiddo! 36 00:01:27,855 --> 00:01:30,558 Dig down deep! Failure is not... 37 00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:32,460 And he's coming down! 38 00:01:33,827 --> 00:01:35,095 I'm alive! 39 00:01:35,163 --> 00:01:36,630 Oh, no. 40 00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:38,132 Coach, you okay? 41 00:01:38,199 --> 00:01:40,401 Pain is just weakness leaving the body. 42 00:01:40,468 --> 00:01:42,803 Now, make room for me to acrobatically 43 00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:45,273 leap to my feet like a jungle cat. 44 00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:51,111 Should I call Nurse Steve? 45 00:01:51,179 --> 00:01:53,847 No need! Just a tiny sprain! 46 00:01:53,914 --> 00:01:55,783 It is not a tiny sprain! 47 00:01:55,849 --> 00:01:57,718 I've ruptured my C2 vertebra. 48 00:01:57,785 --> 00:02:00,321 As a result, I can no longer aggressively sneeze 49 00:02:00,388 --> 00:02:03,056 or use my full head to properly whistle. 50 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:06,194 Man, I feel like this is kinda partially my fault, Coach. 51 00:02:06,260 --> 00:02:07,895 Oh, it is 100% your fault. 52 00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:10,198 And as such, I will unfairly put you on a dodgeball team 53 00:02:10,264 --> 00:02:11,532 with a bunch of weak-armed scrubs 54 00:02:11,599 --> 00:02:13,434 so you get yours. 55 00:02:13,501 --> 00:02:14,535 Game on! 56 00:02:14,602 --> 00:02:15,603 Ah! 57 00:02:15,669 --> 00:02:17,338 Let me just grab a couple ball... 58 00:02:17,405 --> 00:02:19,573 Who did that? 59 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,542 Who laughed at me? 60 00:02:21,609 --> 00:02:23,844 Admit it! I can't turn my head, so I couldn't see. 61 00:02:23,911 --> 00:02:25,513 You will not laugh at Coach! 62 00:02:25,579 --> 00:02:27,615 You will respect your sports leader... 63 00:02:27,681 --> 00:02:28,916 Ah! 64 00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,718 * I'm twisted up inside 65 00:02:30,784 --> 00:02:34,288 * But nonetheless I feel the need to say 66 00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:38,226 * I don't know the future 67 00:02:38,292 --> 00:02:41,995 * But the past keeps getting clearer every day * 68 00:02:42,062 --> 00:02:44,465 ADAM: It was March 21st, 1980-something, 69 00:02:44,532 --> 00:02:47,368 the week my sister hit an important college milestone, 70 00:02:47,435 --> 00:02:49,270 growing to hate her roommate. 71 00:02:49,337 --> 00:02:51,104 And the tipping point... 72 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:54,408 A box of chewy fruit snacks. 73 00:02:54,475 --> 00:02:55,776 Have you seen my Shark Bites? 74 00:02:55,843 --> 00:02:57,545 I've seen no Shark Bites. 75 00:02:57,611 --> 00:02:59,847 Weird, because, um, when I went to class, 76 00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:01,549 my Shark Bites were here. 77 00:03:01,615 --> 00:03:04,252 And now, my Shark Bites are gone! 78 00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:06,754 Are you, like, suggesting I ate your Shark Bites? 79 00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:09,022 Oh, I'm saying you ate my Shark Bites. 80 00:03:09,089 --> 00:03:10,624 You owe me Shark Bites! 81 00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:12,726 And you owe me half a Taco Bell taco I left out last night! 82 00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:14,328 So, you admit it. Oh, I admit it. 83 00:03:14,395 --> 00:03:16,897 I ate them all. And my tummy is super jacked up, 84 00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:18,766 but it was worth it to even the score. 85 00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:20,801 I will eat everything you own! 86 00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:22,035 Ah! 87 00:03:22,102 --> 00:03:23,271 Stop it! No! 88 00:03:24,838 --> 00:03:27,275 Yep. Living on top of each other finally got to them. 89 00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:29,510 Really? 90 00:03:29,577 --> 00:03:31,044 It's for class, so, suck it. 91 00:03:31,111 --> 00:03:32,646 You know, I'm getting really tired 92 00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:34,214 of how crazy passive-aggressive you are! 93 00:03:34,282 --> 00:03:36,950 Me? You purposely didn't refill the ice tray. 94 00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:39,753 I couldn't because somebody made it all crusty 95 00:03:39,820 --> 00:03:41,255 from the jello shots that she made in it. 96 00:03:41,322 --> 00:03:43,056 I have no memory of that entire night, 97 00:03:43,123 --> 00:03:45,259 so I win this argument. 98 00:03:45,326 --> 00:03:46,460 Did you? 99 00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:50,130 No! My special ice tray! 100 00:03:50,197 --> 00:03:54,835 And things went from bad to worse when Erica came home to a scrunchie on the door. 101 00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:57,705 Back before texting, this message meant your roommate 102 00:03:57,771 --> 00:03:59,673 had romantic company, so go away. 103 00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:02,343 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! 104 00:04:02,410 --> 00:04:04,645 Um, hello! Scrunchie on the door. 105 00:04:04,712 --> 00:04:06,179 Just open up. I'm exhausted. 106 00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:07,915 Oh, I'd love to help you, 107 00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:10,818 but I'm entertaining Hector. He plays the flute. 108 00:04:10,884 --> 00:04:12,085 I don't want to know Hector facts. 109 00:04:12,152 --> 00:04:13,354 I want to sleep in my own bed. 110 00:04:13,421 --> 00:04:14,955 I'm sorry, but it's the scrunchie rule. 111 00:04:15,022 --> 00:04:17,625 Go sleep in the common room with the other loveless losers. 112 00:04:17,691 --> 00:04:19,059 Bye! 113 00:04:19,126 --> 00:04:21,295 Wait! The only space in there is next to the leaky microwave! 114 00:04:21,362 --> 00:04:23,030 Then go home! 115 00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:24,498 Bye! 116 00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:28,569 With no bed to sleep in, that's just what my sister did. 117 00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:30,103 Such bull crap. 118 00:04:30,170 --> 00:04:31,739 I used to be best friends with my roommate, 119 00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:34,141 and now we fight over who left the cap off the toothpaste. 120 00:04:34,207 --> 00:04:35,943 It was you, huh? It was obviously me, 121 00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:38,145 but that's not the point. Okay, I think I may have a solution. 122 00:04:38,211 --> 00:04:39,880 When I went to visit my cousin at UCLA, 123 00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:41,749 I found out that there's one thing that overrules 124 00:04:41,815 --> 00:04:43,751 the scrunchie. An out-of-town guest. 125 00:04:43,817 --> 00:04:45,653 I mean, you can't make a visitor sleep in the common room. 126 00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:47,588 That's just rude. And it's perfect. 127 00:04:47,655 --> 00:04:49,723 All I need is an out-of-town guest, and I win! 128 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:53,193 How 'bout a foxy one who no longer needs his asthma nebulizer 129 00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:55,663 because he went through a year-long course of shots for dust mites? 130 00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:58,265 That was supposed to sound cooler than it did. 131 00:04:58,732 --> 00:04:59,900 Gah! 132 00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:01,902 These CDs are impossible to open! 133 00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:04,372 Yes, Barry! Come back to college with me this weekend! 134 00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:06,674 Him? He's the awful answer to my problems. 135 00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:09,610 You know how you always annoy me on purpose and drive me crazy? 136 00:05:09,677 --> 00:05:12,346 It is my greatest joy in life. Which reminds me... 137 00:05:12,413 --> 00:05:13,414 Hyah! 138 00:05:13,481 --> 00:05:15,182 Yes! You are the worst! 139 00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:16,950 Can you channel that hateful, abrasive energy 140 00:05:17,017 --> 00:05:18,218 at my roommate and drive her away? 141 00:05:18,285 --> 00:05:20,588 Child's play, but my skills don't come cheap. 142 00:05:22,089 --> 00:05:23,190 See to it. 143 00:05:23,256 --> 00:05:25,092 Sure, I'll get crackin' on this while you pack. 144 00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,326 Sucker! 145 00:05:26,394 --> 00:05:28,762 What about me? I can be mildly irritating sometimes. 146 00:05:28,829 --> 00:05:29,930 Oh, well, if you want to help, 147 00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:32,633 you can open this because it's impossible. 148 00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:35,969 Okay, fine, but I'm... I'm not gonna clean up the soda that Barry spilled. 149 00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:37,571 I'm just gonna blot it, okay? 150 00:05:37,638 --> 00:05:39,807 Just in case anyone slips and hurts themselves. 151 00:05:39,873 --> 00:05:42,876 I'm off to Dave Kim's. He just got Super Mario Bros. 3. 152 00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:45,045 So, chances are, I'm coming home Sunday night 153 00:05:45,112 --> 00:05:46,780 with some wicked Nintendo thumb. 154 00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:48,949 Enjoy your Italian game, Schmoopaloo. 155 00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:50,818 Ooh, Mom, could you do me a solid 156 00:05:50,884 --> 00:05:52,219 and whip up some of our lemon loaf? 157 00:05:52,285 --> 00:05:53,454 Check your backpack. 158 00:05:53,521 --> 00:05:55,523 No! A fresh one for Coach Mellor. 159 00:05:55,589 --> 00:05:56,857 He got hurt pretty bad, 160 00:05:56,924 --> 00:05:59,359 and it's sorta my fault 'cause I fell off a rope, 161 00:05:59,427 --> 00:06:01,595 which is sorta your fault, 'cause you didn't bail me out. 162 00:06:01,662 --> 00:06:04,097 That's on me. I was just trying to improve my life 163 00:06:04,164 --> 00:06:06,133 by reading a book on boundaries. 164 00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:07,668 Did you know I love you too much? 165 00:06:07,735 --> 00:06:09,903 Does this goodbye feel too long to you guys, too? 166 00:06:09,970 --> 00:06:12,005 Well, enjoy the house all to yourselves. 167 00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:15,943 You know, he's right. 168 00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:18,412 All my squishy-tushes are gone for the weekend. 169 00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:20,180 Listen to that. What do you hear? 170 00:06:22,082 --> 00:06:23,484 Just your loud breathing. 171 00:06:23,551 --> 00:06:25,753 You know, it weirdly sounds both wet and dry. 172 00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:27,120 Exactly. 173 00:06:27,187 --> 00:06:30,157 No kids to ask me for money or touch the thermostat. 174 00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:33,026 No one to feed or clothe or tickle their backs to sleep... 175 00:06:33,093 --> 00:06:35,496 Which is a good thing. It's why you got the whole Bevformation. 176 00:06:35,563 --> 00:06:38,265 Bevolution. And you're right. 177 00:06:38,331 --> 00:06:42,436 I... I need to accept the fact that soon I will have no one to take care of. 178 00:06:42,503 --> 00:06:44,572 Look at me. I promise. 179 00:06:44,638 --> 00:06:49,510 When our kids leave, I will never, ever wash a dish. 180 00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:51,479 That's my gift to you. 181 00:06:51,545 --> 00:06:53,313 ADAM: With little prospects at home, 182 00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:56,950 my mom decided the best prospect for mothering was elsewhere. 183 00:06:57,017 --> 00:06:59,820 Oh, hi. Welcome to Mellor Manor. 184 00:06:59,887 --> 00:07:01,121 I heard you weren't feeling great, 185 00:07:01,188 --> 00:07:02,856 so I whipped up a healing lemon loaf. 186 00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:04,191 Bring it in. Bring it in. 187 00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:06,393 I can't wait to mash that up and drink it through a straw. 188 00:07:07,728 --> 00:07:09,162 Where are my manners? 189 00:07:09,229 --> 00:07:10,598 Do you want some coffee and cheese? 190 00:07:10,664 --> 00:07:13,333 Oh, my God, Rick, are you okay? 191 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:14,835 I'm tip-top! 192 00:07:14,902 --> 00:07:17,004 Aside from the fact that I gotta sleep standing up 193 00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:19,840 and I can't take this shirt off. 194 00:07:19,907 --> 00:07:21,975 Isn't there someone who can take care of you? 195 00:07:22,042 --> 00:07:24,144 I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself. 196 00:07:24,211 --> 00:07:29,517 Aside from washing, eating, and opening damn cheese! 197 00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:30,984 You are coming home with me. 198 00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:32,319 I could never intrude like that. 199 00:07:32,385 --> 00:07:33,954 Oh, intrude away. 200 00:07:34,021 --> 00:07:36,624 My house is empty and lifeless this weekend. It's no bother. 201 00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:38,091 You think you could pack a bag for me? 202 00:07:38,158 --> 00:07:41,261 I have limited range of motion. 203 00:07:41,328 --> 00:07:43,230 Also, I'm so scared to be alone. 204 00:07:43,296 --> 00:07:46,900 I can't tell you how badly I needed to hear that just now. 205 00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:49,369 ADAM: As my mom found a replacement for her children, 206 00:07:49,436 --> 00:07:52,172 my sister found the solution to get back at her roommate. 207 00:07:52,239 --> 00:07:54,942 Hey, bad news. Me and Hector saw Road House, 208 00:07:55,008 --> 00:07:56,510 so it's for sure another scrunchie night, 209 00:07:56,577 --> 00:07:58,278 'cause, you know, Swayze. 210 00:07:58,345 --> 00:08:01,715 Save it for your hair because I have my own guest from out of town. 211 00:08:01,782 --> 00:08:03,884 That's me! 212 00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:05,218 Ooh! VALLEY ERICA: Hey! 213 00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:06,920 My super cute outfits! 214 00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:10,357 Sorry. I need a place for my Drakkar Noir line of shampoos, 215 00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:13,927 soaps, shaving creams, and of course, cologne. 216 00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:17,397 Oh, no. It smells like the boys' cabin at Camp Ramah before the Shabbat social! 217 00:08:17,464 --> 00:08:19,266 I guess the bad news is for you, 218 00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:22,903 because he's staying the whole weekend, which means you go. 219 00:08:22,970 --> 00:08:24,071 I'll grab the rest of your colognes 220 00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:26,039 and ninja weaponry from the car. 221 00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:28,976 Ugh! How did you live with your sister for so long? 222 00:08:29,042 --> 00:08:31,912 I was a baby for the first part, so I don't remember anything. 223 00:08:31,979 --> 00:08:34,314 But once I was able to form memories, it got awful. 224 00:08:34,381 --> 00:08:36,383 So, I get it. She used to be so cool. 225 00:08:36,449 --> 00:08:37,751 And now, she's... Not cool! 226 00:08:37,818 --> 00:08:38,852 Totally. She, like... 227 00:08:38,919 --> 00:08:40,287 Sucks. ...sucks. 228 00:08:40,353 --> 00:08:42,255 What? 229 00:08:42,322 --> 00:08:43,791 Did we just finish each other's... 230 00:08:43,857 --> 00:08:44,958 Sentences? ...sentences? 231 00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:47,561 Wow! We did it again! 232 00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:49,863 Your Drakkar suddenly smells good to me. 233 00:08:49,930 --> 00:08:52,432 My sweat activates it. 234 00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:53,601 Awesome. 235 00:08:55,669 --> 00:08:57,304 'Sup? Open up! 236 00:08:57,370 --> 00:09:00,007 Can't. Your roomie has company. 237 00:09:00,073 --> 00:09:01,575 You? Me. 238 00:09:01,642 --> 00:09:03,711 Ew! Yeah. 239 00:09:03,777 --> 00:09:06,980 Erica, you cannot scrunchie my disgusting out-of-town guest! 240 00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:08,582 That is against the rules! 241 00:09:08,649 --> 00:09:11,418 * I just wanna use your love tonight * 242 00:09:11,484 --> 00:09:13,153 And turn off that sexy mix tape! 243 00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:16,824 Geoff made me that tape! Not to mention... Ew! 244 00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:19,459 ADAM: Meanwhile, my mom was making Coach feel right at home. 245 00:09:19,526 --> 00:09:21,194 Holy cheesy seafood! 246 00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:23,831 Your shrimp Parm is the Super Bowl of all meals. 247 00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,734 Easy, sweetie. You're getting sauce all over your white shirt. 248 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:28,268 Here, put on this clean one. 249 00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:31,204 Oh! Oh, it's still warm from the dryer! 250 00:09:31,271 --> 00:09:33,373 Finish up 'cause I got Push Pops for dessert. 251 00:09:33,440 --> 00:09:35,142 Push Pops? Score! 252 00:09:35,208 --> 00:09:36,443 Ow! I'm okay. 253 00:09:36,509 --> 00:09:39,312 Hey, Bevy! Hey, Barr. Hey, Mr. G. 254 00:09:39,379 --> 00:09:42,015 This isn't our moron. This is a grown man with a neck brace. 255 00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,383 Good eye. 256 00:09:43,450 --> 00:09:45,285 Literally the first weekend that our kids are gone, 257 00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:46,620 you're already replacing them? 258 00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:48,656 Please. I'm not trying to replace anybody. 259 00:09:48,722 --> 00:09:51,859 He's eating all my food and wearing Barry's dumb orange shirt. 260 00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,160 Your face is dumb. 261 00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:54,795 What? Nothing. 262 00:09:54,862 --> 00:09:56,363 Don't listen to him. Why don't you run upstairs to your room, 263 00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,198 and I'll bring you your Push Pop later, okay? 264 00:09:58,265 --> 00:09:59,700 Cherry. Don't forget. 265 00:09:59,767 --> 00:10:02,235 Bevy, this is insane. What... What are you doing? 266 00:10:02,302 --> 00:10:05,172 Oh, stop. I'm just helping a coach in need. 267 00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:06,807 I changed my mind. I want grape. 268 00:10:06,874 --> 00:10:08,175 Where are you going? 269 00:10:08,241 --> 00:10:10,077 To fix this! 270 00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:13,313 Yeah, well, now, you know what? I... I want strawberry. No! Wait. 271 00:10:13,380 --> 00:10:14,381 I don't know. Surprise me. 272 00:10:14,447 --> 00:10:15,448 But anything but orange. 273 00:10:19,019 --> 00:10:20,854 ADAM: With Coach Mellor living under our roof, 274 00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:23,356 my mom was excited to be smothering again. 275 00:10:23,423 --> 00:10:26,526 Hope you're hungry for some noodle kugel and a smoked fish medley. 276 00:10:26,593 --> 00:10:29,196 No dinner for Coach. I got a mutiny below deck. 277 00:10:29,262 --> 00:10:31,832 Did you make today? Did you make poo 278 00:10:31,899 --> 00:10:34,234 Any poo 'Cause that's poison in the body, you know. 279 00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:36,737 Suppose Coach could use some prunes. Mmm. 280 00:10:36,804 --> 00:10:39,272 Great news! I solved everything! You're welcome. 281 00:10:39,339 --> 00:10:41,108 ADAM: Oh, yes, my dad went big. 282 00:10:41,174 --> 00:10:44,211 He brought in Coach Rick's massive older brother, Coach Nick. 283 00:10:44,277 --> 00:10:46,079 Wait. This is your big idea, Murray? 284 00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:48,816 You try to fix things by calling his actual family? 285 00:10:49,817 --> 00:10:51,484 Right, I'm the crazy one. 286 00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:54,221 Look, the last thing I need is for my brother to take care of me. 287 00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:56,223 You wouldn't say that if you tried my soup! 288 00:10:56,289 --> 00:10:58,191 Boys, stop. I see what's happening here. 289 00:10:58,258 --> 00:10:59,626 Coach Rick has a hurt neck, 290 00:10:59,693 --> 00:11:02,896 but Coach Nick's heart is in a lot more pain. 291 00:11:02,963 --> 00:11:04,431 Whatever. Doesn't matter. 292 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,166 No, in this house, our feelings matter. 293 00:11:06,233 --> 00:11:08,769 I feel they both should go. 294 00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:12,773 Shh. Talk to your little brother, Coach Nick. Use your words. 295 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:15,876 When you didn't ask for my help, it made me sad. 296 00:11:15,943 --> 00:11:19,579 'Cause, you know, my love for you is big as my pecs. 297 00:11:19,646 --> 00:11:22,082 That's, like, the biggest love a man can have. 298 00:11:22,149 --> 00:11:24,384 Well, that's gotta make you feel special, Coach Rick. 299 00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:26,787 Maybe special enough to share your feelings? 300 00:11:28,655 --> 00:11:30,290 Well... 301 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:32,893 It's like my neck is so jacked up, I can't even blow my whistle. 302 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,628 Bro, you never been so real to me before. 303 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:38,198 I guess it's my turn to get even realer. 304 00:11:39,399 --> 00:11:40,633 I don't have a home. 305 00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,502 Oh, boy. Kathleen kicked me out 306 00:11:42,569 --> 00:11:44,972 'cause I didn't notice she changed her hair. 307 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:47,407 My God, Coach Nick, where have you been staying? 308 00:11:47,474 --> 00:11:50,043 At the gym. I sleep on the weight bench 309 00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:51,644 and use a kettle bell as a pillow. 310 00:11:51,711 --> 00:11:54,147 You can stay with me in my junior single condo, brother. 311 00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:56,116 With one tiny bed? 312 00:11:56,183 --> 00:11:58,318 No, no. You're both staying here for the weekend. 313 00:11:58,385 --> 00:11:59,920 I won't take "no" for an answer. 314 00:11:59,987 --> 00:12:01,221 Oh, boy. 315 00:12:01,288 --> 00:12:02,956 Rick, why don't you show Nick where Erica's room is? 316 00:12:03,023 --> 00:12:05,225 She has a keyboard. It's awesome. 317 00:12:05,292 --> 00:12:06,894 I can play Axel Foley's theme! 318 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:08,361 Hah! 319 00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:11,298 Hey, no running, boys. 320 00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:14,968 You do realize that you're replacing our children with grown men? 321 00:12:15,035 --> 00:12:17,337 Stop. They're simply sleeping in their rooms, 322 00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:19,372 wearing their clothes, and playing with their toys. 323 00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:24,711 Now, if ya don't mind, I need to get some prunes into our son's gym coach. 324 00:12:24,778 --> 00:12:25,979 ADAM: Even though my dad failed 325 00:12:26,046 --> 00:12:27,480 at getting rid of his unwanted guests, 326 00:12:27,547 --> 00:12:29,682 Erica had a plan to get rid of hers. 327 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:30,884 What the hell? Bup-bup! 328 00:12:30,951 --> 00:12:32,786 Ninety-eight, ninety-nine... 329 00:12:32,853 --> 00:12:35,355 First of all... 330 00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:37,190 Second of all, I hope you'll enjoy brushing 331 00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:38,558 her greasy mane in the common room 332 00:12:38,625 --> 00:12:40,127 because that's where you both will be tonight. 333 00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:43,563 I don't think so. Your brother is now my out-of-town guest, 334 00:12:43,630 --> 00:12:45,132 and he's not going anywhere. 335 00:12:45,198 --> 00:12:48,268 Oh, well, that's a shame because I called in a new out-of-town guest. 336 00:12:48,335 --> 00:12:49,502 Barry? Lainey-love! 337 00:12:49,569 --> 00:12:50,838 Who is she? Who are you? 338 00:12:50,904 --> 00:12:52,539 Lainey, my sucky roommate. 339 00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,441 Sucky roommate, this is my best friend, 340 00:12:54,507 --> 00:12:56,009 who is also the love of Barry's life. 341 00:12:56,076 --> 00:12:57,677 Was. Seems like he moved on. 342 00:12:57,744 --> 00:12:59,212 Babe, she means nothing to me. 343 00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:01,481 Hey, when I say "nothing," I meant everything. 344 00:13:01,548 --> 00:13:02,549 Don't even! 345 00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:03,884 My sister was right about you! 346 00:13:03,951 --> 00:13:05,919 Hey, sis, got you a sweet comb. 347 00:13:05,986 --> 00:13:07,855 Don't try to make nice with me, traitor. 348 00:13:07,921 --> 00:13:09,589 Lainey's my new out-of-town guest, 349 00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:11,324 which means both of you, beat it. 350 00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:13,526 So, I just sat on a stinky bus for six hours 351 00:13:13,593 --> 00:13:15,728 to be used like some pawn in your battle with your roommate, 352 00:13:15,795 --> 00:13:17,764 who's now apparently your brother's new girlfriend? 353 00:13:17,831 --> 00:13:20,300 And it's fun to get together. 354 00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:30,110 * I just want to use your love tonight 355 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:32,712 * Whoa... 356 00:13:32,779 --> 00:13:34,948 No 357 00:13:35,015 --> 00:13:37,184 You 358 00:13:37,250 --> 00:13:39,486 You? Last chance. Okay. 359 00:13:42,255 --> 00:13:46,026 Dad! I got your message and rode Dave Kim's sister's bike the whole way here. 360 00:13:46,093 --> 00:13:47,194 What's the emergency? 361 00:13:47,260 --> 00:13:48,395 Go snuggle your mother. 362 00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:49,496 I thought this was serious. 363 00:13:49,562 --> 00:13:51,899 It is! Your mom's in a bad place, 364 00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:53,733 and the only thing that'll snap her out of it 365 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:55,568 is her delicious little snuggle monster. 366 00:13:55,635 --> 00:13:57,938 What? You'll always be your mother's baby. 367 00:13:58,005 --> 00:13:59,406 Now go let her smell your head. 368 00:14:01,942 --> 00:14:04,211 * My brother's... Damn it. 369 00:14:04,277 --> 00:14:06,079 * My name is Nick... * 370 00:14:06,146 --> 00:14:08,248 Hey, I'm not ready to share this yet. 371 00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:10,417 Dad... 372 00:14:10,483 --> 00:14:12,052 Your mom's going through some stuff. 373 00:14:12,119 --> 00:14:14,254 What do we do? You know what to do. 374 00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:15,588 Ugh. 375 00:14:16,656 --> 00:14:18,425 Mama! I need you! 376 00:14:18,491 --> 00:14:20,260 Schmoopie! You're home! 377 00:14:20,327 --> 00:14:23,530 I came home 'cause I missed you. 378 00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:26,399 And I got scawwed. 379 00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:29,002 Uh, will you give me sniffies on my head? 380 00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:31,371 I am gonna sniff the out of your head! 381 00:14:31,438 --> 00:14:34,241 Mama G! Good news, my tummy's feeling way better. I made real good. 382 00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:36,076 That is fantastic! 383 00:14:36,143 --> 00:14:38,311 Oh, my God, what have I done? 384 00:14:39,746 --> 00:14:43,116 Can you guys pipe down a bit? I'm working on my music! 385 00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:45,752 What have I done? 386 00:14:48,055 --> 00:14:49,957 Did I say you could use that? 387 00:14:50,023 --> 00:14:53,326 Sorry. Just preparing a little something for my out-of-town guest. 388 00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:55,495 He may be peckish from his travels. 389 00:14:55,562 --> 00:14:57,597 Geoff? Ah! There's my guest now! 390 00:14:57,664 --> 00:15:00,800 Come, join me in the kitchen for some heated water. 391 00:15:00,867 --> 00:15:03,136 They're being real uppity about sharing actual food. 392 00:15:03,203 --> 00:15:05,305 You misplayed this one, douche lord! 393 00:15:05,372 --> 00:15:07,340 Geoff will clearly be my out-of-town guest, 394 00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:09,042 which means all of you need to get out! 395 00:15:09,109 --> 00:15:11,611 No! You had your chance to make me your out-of-town guest, 396 00:15:11,678 --> 00:15:13,280 but you chose Barry. And then Lainey. 397 00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:14,414 Hey, Lainey. How you been? 398 00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:15,815 Not great. You? Pretty good. 399 00:15:15,882 --> 00:15:18,518 Well, then, since Geoff remains my out-of-town guest, 400 00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:20,453 all you ladies must leave... 401 00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:22,322 Unless Lainey wants to stay. 402 00:15:22,389 --> 00:15:23,656 I don't. What about Erica? 403 00:15:23,723 --> 00:15:25,025 Nope. Then it's settled! 404 00:15:25,092 --> 00:15:27,660 Me and Geoff will stay in this room that's not ours. 405 00:15:27,727 --> 00:15:29,462 Have a taste of the chef's special. 406 00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:30,630 The secret's the heat. 407 00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:32,399 No! I don't want to be your guest either! 408 00:15:32,465 --> 00:15:34,701 You only asked me here to piss off your sister for inviting your ex. 409 00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,336 Fine! If you won't take my side, 410 00:15:36,403 --> 00:15:37,670 then I'll call in someone who will! 411 00:15:37,737 --> 00:15:39,506 ALL: JT... P? 412 00:15:40,740 --> 00:15:43,710 Uh, Barr? We just drove three hours. 413 00:15:43,776 --> 00:15:46,146 You said there was a sick college rager going on. 414 00:15:46,213 --> 00:15:47,480 Did I say "rager"? 415 00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:49,983 Pretty sure I said "angry standoff in a dorm room." 416 00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:52,219 Dude, I missed my nana's birthday for this. 417 00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:53,653 Yeah, man. This is the worst thing 418 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:55,188 you and Geoff have ever done. What? 419 00:15:55,255 --> 00:15:57,024 I told him it was your idea. You get it. 420 00:15:57,090 --> 00:15:59,726 Also seems like a good time to say I still have feelings for you. 421 00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,894 It may be the worst time. Okay, Lainey's not on board. 422 00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,596 What's he talking about? 423 00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:06,799 He's talking about overriding the scrunchie rule, which is what I'm gonna do. 424 00:16:06,866 --> 00:16:08,268 ** 425 00:16:08,335 --> 00:16:09,602 What the hell? 426 00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:11,571 I was promised Neil Peart from Rush would be here. 427 00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:12,872 Oh, look, there's Barry from school. 428 00:16:12,939 --> 00:16:15,642 Hi, it's Carla. That's Carla from school. 429 00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:17,510 Enough. I'm telling the RA you're the worst roommate 430 00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:19,112 on the planet and you gotta go. 431 00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:21,514 Not if I tell him that you're worser and you gotta go! 432 00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:23,550 ** 433 00:16:23,616 --> 00:16:24,951 Srini, open up! 434 00:16:25,018 --> 00:16:27,120 My roommate's a monster who refuses to cap the toothpaste! 435 00:16:27,187 --> 00:16:30,023 She ate my Shark Bites! The world is her pantry! 436 00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:31,658 So, if anyone's out, it's her. 437 00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:33,126 Actually, you're both out. 438 00:16:33,193 --> 00:16:34,894 Geoff, don't you scrunchie that door! 439 00:16:34,961 --> 00:16:36,763 I'm sorry, but you guys have been best friends all year 440 00:16:36,829 --> 00:16:38,231 and all of the out-of-town guests agree 441 00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:39,832 that you need to grow up and work it out. 442 00:16:39,899 --> 00:16:42,535 Best friends? She's just some random girl 443 00:16:42,602 --> 00:16:44,271 picked from a hat to live with me. 444 00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:45,572 It's madness. 445 00:16:45,638 --> 00:16:47,840 Strangers shouldn't be forced to sleep four feet apart! 446 00:16:47,907 --> 00:16:49,976 ** 447 00:16:52,812 --> 00:16:56,716 Wow. That's all I am to you, some random stranger? 448 00:16:56,783 --> 00:16:58,585 That's not what I meant. 449 00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:00,920 No, I get it. 450 00:17:00,987 --> 00:17:02,089 You win. 451 00:17:02,155 --> 00:17:03,456 Take the stupid room. 452 00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:06,526 ** 453 00:17:09,596 --> 00:17:12,332 ADAM: Realizing she had swapped out her kids with coaches, 454 00:17:12,399 --> 00:17:14,801 my mom knew it was time to call the game. 455 00:17:14,867 --> 00:17:18,138 Hot damn! Smells like Mama G's cookin' up a storm in here! 456 00:17:18,205 --> 00:17:21,341 Well, I figured it would be nice to send you off with full bellies. 457 00:17:21,408 --> 00:17:22,975 Send us off? Did we do something wrong? 458 00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:25,812 It's my fault, huh? I ate all your apples. 459 00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:27,880 No, you've both been very well-behaved 460 00:17:27,947 --> 00:17:31,818 large and double-extra-large house guests. 461 00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:34,321 It's just that, at some point, 462 00:17:34,387 --> 00:17:35,955 it's time to leave the nest. 463 00:17:36,022 --> 00:17:37,990 It's so cruel and lonely out there. 464 00:17:38,057 --> 00:17:39,492 And you have pillows here. 465 00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:42,295 My big brave boys are ready to go. 466 00:17:42,362 --> 00:17:44,564 I mean, look at you, Rick, with your... 467 00:17:46,099 --> 00:17:49,502 ...being clean now and, uh, Nick with your... 468 00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:52,172 ...music. 469 00:17:52,239 --> 00:17:53,506 You think? I know! 470 00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,608 Now spread your wings and fly! 471 00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:58,645 Look out, world! Here come the Mellor boys! 472 00:17:58,711 --> 00:18:00,447 Now grab your snackies. 473 00:18:00,513 --> 00:18:02,449 Oh, um, actually, you know, neither one of us drove... 474 00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:05,285 She said fly! 475 00:18:05,352 --> 00:18:07,287 So much for the Bevolution. 476 00:18:07,354 --> 00:18:09,088 It's the first weekend ever without our kids, 477 00:18:09,156 --> 00:18:11,090 and I completely lost my mind. 478 00:18:11,158 --> 00:18:13,560 Well, we still have a few more years to ease into it. 479 00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:15,695 And what am I gonna do when they all leave for good? 480 00:18:15,762 --> 00:18:18,998 Honestly, it's gonna be awful for the both of us. 481 00:18:19,065 --> 00:18:21,168 Please. For the last four years, 482 00:18:21,234 --> 00:18:24,003 all you've talked about is how you want them all to leave 483 00:18:24,070 --> 00:18:26,239 so you can have some peace and quiet. 484 00:18:26,306 --> 00:18:28,775 Bevy, you know I hate change, 485 00:18:28,841 --> 00:18:31,144 but it's easier for me to say, "I want them out" 486 00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:35,548 than to admit I love our crazy, loud family. 487 00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:36,783 You're gonna miss 'em, huh? 488 00:18:39,419 --> 00:18:41,321 Really helps to know I'm not alone. 489 00:18:41,388 --> 00:18:44,791 * I just wanna use your love tonight 490 00:18:46,025 --> 00:18:48,161 Oh. Hey. 491 00:18:48,228 --> 00:18:50,730 Welcome to the common room. 492 00:18:50,797 --> 00:18:54,534 It's just for the night. Housing is getting me a new roommate this weekend, so... 493 00:18:54,601 --> 00:18:57,570 Okay, this is crazy. You can't move out. 494 00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:58,871 It's not like we're friends. 495 00:18:58,938 --> 00:19:01,708 I'm just some random girl that got picked from a hat. 496 00:19:01,774 --> 00:19:05,011 Look, college has been way harder than I thought, 497 00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:07,079 but you've been the only thing that's made it easier. 498 00:19:09,316 --> 00:19:11,017 I'm sorry I ate your Shark Bites. 499 00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:12,452 I'm sorry I stole your ice tray. 500 00:19:12,519 --> 00:19:14,221 I'm sorry I played the trumpet in your face. 501 00:19:14,287 --> 00:19:16,223 I'm sorry that I lured half my high school up here. 502 00:19:16,289 --> 00:19:17,590 I'm sorry I made up Hector. 503 00:19:17,657 --> 00:19:18,991 What? 504 00:19:19,058 --> 00:19:20,760 He's so not real. I just, like, needed you to go away. 505 00:19:20,827 --> 00:19:22,995 That is brilliant 506 00:19:23,062 --> 00:19:25,465 and totally something I would do! 507 00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:28,100 * As you leave me, please, would you close the door? 508 00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:30,837 Come on. Let's get our room back from my out-of-town guests. 509 00:19:30,903 --> 00:19:33,039 No way they're letting us back in after what we pulled. 510 00:19:33,105 --> 00:19:36,743 Well... I think I have a way to make it up to them. 511 00:19:36,809 --> 00:19:38,411 * Another shoulder to cry upon 512 00:19:38,478 --> 00:19:40,913 ALL: * I just want to use your love 513 00:19:40,980 --> 00:19:43,015 * Tonight 514 00:19:43,716 --> 00:19:45,552 * Yeah 515 00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:50,122 * I don't want to lose your love tonight 516 00:19:51,258 --> 00:19:52,859 * Yeah * 517 00:19:52,925 --> 00:19:55,562 Thank God the one thing I learned at college is how to throw a good party. 518 00:19:55,628 --> 00:19:58,064 I got to admit, that six-hour bus ride was almost worth it. 519 00:19:58,130 --> 00:19:59,432 I'm so sorry, Lainey. 520 00:19:59,499 --> 00:20:01,734 It's okay. It was so good to see you. 521 00:20:01,801 --> 00:20:04,103 And Barry, too, kinda. I heard that! 522 00:20:04,170 --> 00:20:07,607 She said it was kinda okay to see me! Cool. 523 00:20:07,674 --> 00:20:09,742 This is kinda the greatest night of my life! 524 00:20:09,809 --> 00:20:12,945 ADAM: Turns out, one little scrunchie that was meant to keep my sister away 525 00:20:13,012 --> 00:20:14,681 brought everyone together. 526 00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:16,583 As for my parents, for the first time, 527 00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:18,785 their future alone didn't seem so scary. 528 00:20:18,851 --> 00:20:21,454 Murray, what's all this? 529 00:20:21,521 --> 00:20:22,955 Adam went back to Dave Kim's, 530 00:20:23,022 --> 00:20:24,591 so you're stuck with just me again. 531 00:20:24,657 --> 00:20:27,327 In fact, the future looked brighter than ever. 532 00:20:28,127 --> 00:20:29,696 You made me dinner. 533 00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:31,831 You said you weren't even gonna wash the dishes. 534 00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:32,932 People change. 535 00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:34,467 Well, don't go changing too much. 536 00:20:34,534 --> 00:20:36,503 You don't have to worry. 537 00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:40,840 Sometimes, fate can bring strangers together in the most random of ways. 538 00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:42,842 But suddenly, everything falls into place 539 00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:45,077 and that stranger becomes family. 540 00:20:45,144 --> 00:20:47,714 But no matter what the universe has in store, 541 00:20:47,780 --> 00:20:49,682 you can face even the biggest of changes 542 00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:51,518 when the people you love most 543 00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:54,253 pull up a chair and never leave your side. 544 00:20:58,525 --> 00:21:00,727 ** 545 00:21:00,793 --> 00:21:02,128 Hi, I'm Rick Mellor. 546 00:21:04,397 --> 00:21:06,999 Just to have your name mentioned on a TV like that was kind of crazy. 547 00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:09,302 I didn't believe it when people first started telling me about it. 548 00:21:09,369 --> 00:21:10,503 I don't miss a show now. 549 00:21:10,570 --> 00:21:11,971 The worst part about the whole thing, 550 00:21:12,038 --> 00:21:13,973 my neighbors think I actually act like that when I teach. 551 00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:15,708 Think you guys are ready for the apex 552 00:21:15,775 --> 00:21:18,511 of rubber-ball-based sports... Dodgeball. 553 00:21:18,578 --> 00:21:21,814 Next day at school, "Mr. Mellor, can we play dodgeball?" 554 00:21:21,881 --> 00:21:24,451 So we end up start playing dodgeball again because of the show. 555 00:21:24,517 --> 00:21:26,386 When you're a phys-ed teacher, you do stuff like that. 556 00:21:26,453 --> 00:21:28,355 You have fun with the kids. You do stuff with the kids. 557 00:21:28,421 --> 00:21:30,790 The kids accuse me of breaking their ankles. I never did that.