1
00:00:01,169 --> 00:00:02,536
ADULT ADAM:
Ah, wood-shop class.

2
00:00:02,603 --> 00:00:05,039
Back in the '80s, this
sawdust-covered danger zone

3
00:00:05,106 --> 00:00:07,308
was a place where students
handled heavy-duty machinery

4
00:00:07,375 --> 00:00:09,377
no kid should ever touch.

5
00:00:09,443 --> 00:00:12,280
Whoa!
That almost hit me, dude!

6
00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:14,682
I know! I should not
be around this equipment!

7
00:00:14,748 --> 00:00:16,484
ADULT ADAM:
No matter what school
you went to,

8
00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:18,986
all shop teachers were cut
from the same piece of wood.

9
00:00:19,053 --> 00:00:20,854
Ours was Mr. Crosby.

10
00:00:20,921 --> 00:00:23,257
And remember...
Safety first.

11
00:00:23,324 --> 00:00:25,659
There's no room
for tomfoolery, shenanigans,

12
00:00:25,726 --> 00:00:28,028
or joyful horseplay
in this class.

13
00:00:28,096 --> 00:00:29,363
And why is that?

14
00:00:29,430 --> 00:00:31,399
ALL:
We'll cut off our finger.

15
00:00:31,465 --> 00:00:34,001
And why do we always
measure twice?

16
00:00:34,068 --> 00:00:35,969
ALL:
We'll cut off our finger.

17
00:00:36,036 --> 00:00:37,905
And how do we know this
to be true?

18
00:00:37,971 --> 00:00:39,973
ALL:
You cut off your finger.

19
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,343
That's right.
I cut off my finger.

20
00:00:42,410 --> 00:00:44,011
And this one!

21
00:00:44,078 --> 00:00:46,947
This one they sewed back on,
but it doesn't work right.

22
00:00:47,014 --> 00:00:48,382
Finger rejected the host.

23
00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:50,418
ADULT ADAM: Yep,
wood shop was
grueling and difficult

24
00:00:50,484 --> 00:00:52,686
and only came naturally
to the select few.

25
00:00:52,753 --> 00:00:54,888
Check it, Mom.
I made a spice rack.

26
00:00:54,955 --> 00:00:56,290
Oh, my God,

27
00:00:56,357 --> 00:00:58,526
I was literally just saying
this is exactly what I need.

28
00:00:58,592 --> 00:01:00,961
Whoo-hoo! Look at you,
saving us money!

29
00:01:01,028 --> 00:01:03,097
We can put spices
in that.

30
00:01:03,164 --> 00:01:04,532
ADULT ADAM:
Me, on the other hand...

31
00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:07,468
Hey, Mom, look what I made.
It's a doorstop or a bookend.

32
00:01:07,535 --> 00:01:11,139
Oh, look.
Murray, Adam made a thing.

33
00:01:11,205 --> 00:01:15,409
Hoo-hoo! Look at you,
saving money on firewood!

34
00:01:15,476 --> 00:01:18,446
That's what it is.
A starter log.
I feel good about this.

35
00:01:18,512 --> 00:01:20,548
ADULT ADAM:
Yeah, I guess you could say
I didn't nail wood shop.

36
00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:23,351
So instead, I used the class
to hone my comedic skills.

37
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:26,254
All right.
This is a butt joint.

38
00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:27,788
See here?

39
00:01:27,855 --> 00:01:30,858
You line up the studs,
and then you pound
that butt joint

40
00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:32,693
until it locks in tight.

41
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:33,761
Questions?

42
00:01:33,827 --> 00:01:35,363
I got a question.

43
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,998
What's the best thing to use
to wipe your butt joint?

44
00:01:40,968 --> 00:01:43,271
He took something wholesome,
like a butt joint,

45
00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:44,472
and made it hilarious!

46
00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:45,773
Since we're all in the mood
to have a laugh,

47
00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:47,875
why don't you show the class
your midterm project?

48
00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:49,343
You've got it, sir.

49
00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:52,045
I call it
"Really Big Jenga"!

50
00:01:53,547 --> 00:01:56,617
That's just a bunch of 2x4s
you sawed in half
and stacked up.

51
00:01:56,684 --> 00:01:57,918
You didn't even sand them.

52
00:01:57,985 --> 00:02:00,154
Geez, if it's such a big deal,
I'll use this thingy

53
00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:01,989
to sand the wood,
and then we can play.

54
00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:04,525
Nobody's playing
Really Big Jenga,
Mr. Hardeeharhar!

55
00:02:04,592 --> 00:02:05,926
Give me that wood.

56
00:02:05,993 --> 00:02:07,495
Oh!
Balls!

57
00:02:07,561 --> 00:02:09,163
Whoa!

58
00:02:10,698 --> 00:02:12,233
Jenga.

59
00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:13,834
* I'm twisted up inside

60
00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:17,505
* But nonetheless
I feel the need to say

61
00:02:19,940 --> 00:02:21,375
* I don't know the future

62
00:02:21,442 --> 00:02:24,645
* But the past keeps getting
clearer every day *

63
00:02:24,712 --> 00:02:27,381
ADULT ADAM:
It was January 17,
1980-something,

64
00:02:27,448 --> 00:02:30,218
and my sister was going
through a true freshman
rite of passage...

65
00:02:30,284 --> 00:02:31,819
Becoming a pretentious snob.

66
00:02:31,885 --> 00:02:36,357
God, it all has to go, Erica.
Poison, Madonna, New Kids?

67
00:02:36,424 --> 00:02:39,360
How did I ever buy into
all of this top-40,
MTV garbage?

68
00:02:39,427 --> 00:02:41,629
I'm actually embarrassed
by who we were

69
00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:43,764
before we took
Music Deconstruction 101

70
00:02:43,831 --> 00:02:45,098
with Professor
Chang-Silverstein.

71
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,401
That class has, like,
opened my eyes.

72
00:02:47,468 --> 00:02:49,136
No, like, my ears.

73
00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:51,171
No, like, my mind.

74
00:02:51,239 --> 00:02:53,274
Well, get ready to have
your mind blown,

75
00:02:53,341 --> 00:02:55,042
because I asked Geoff
to get us tickets

76
00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:57,911
to the Avant Garde Music
Festival of New York City.

77
00:02:57,978 --> 00:02:59,547
Stop, we are actually
going to see

78
00:02:59,613 --> 00:03:01,582
Philip Glass and the Tibetan
Throat Singers live?

79
00:03:01,649 --> 00:03:04,352
Plus, there's a rumor
that Yoko Ono
is gonna scream onstage

80
00:03:04,418 --> 00:03:05,686
for a whole hour!

81
00:03:05,753 --> 00:03:07,355
I'm gonna scream from
the audience for a whole hour!

82
00:03:07,421 --> 00:03:09,223
I can't believe
that our lame-ass R.A.

83
00:03:09,290 --> 00:03:10,458
called us
"poser freshmen

84
00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:12,192
"who are going through
a pretentious phase."

85
00:03:12,260 --> 00:03:14,728
These personas we just
discovered, like, last week

86
00:03:14,795 --> 00:03:16,497
are, like, who we are
and are gonna be

87
00:03:16,564 --> 00:03:17,631
for the rest of our lives.

88
00:03:17,698 --> 00:03:20,568
Exactly. I'll never return
to who I was.

89
00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:23,904
Oh! My baby's back!

90
00:03:23,971 --> 00:03:26,006
Whoa, how long were you
standing there waiting?

91
00:03:26,073 --> 00:03:28,075
So long.
Come right in.

92
00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:31,545
Would anyone like to sample
a flight of Hamburger Helpers?

93
00:03:31,612 --> 00:03:34,515
Oh, we're not doing
processed foods anymore,

94
00:03:34,582 --> 00:03:36,550
and especially not the kind
that have a spokesglove.

95
00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:38,886
What's, like,
the raddest sushi place
you have in Jenkintown?

96
00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:40,020
You like fish?

97
00:03:40,087 --> 00:03:41,889
Uh, well, we have
a Long John Silver's.

98
00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:43,691
No! Wait!

99
00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:45,259
I've got Tuna Helper
right here.

100
00:03:45,326 --> 00:03:46,494
Geoff, crack open a can.

101
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,296
Hey, Erica, it's me,
your boyfriend, Geoff.

102
00:03:48,362 --> 00:03:49,897
Oh, he's plating it
all wrong.

103
00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:52,433
I said, "Two heaping scoops,"
Geoff.

104
00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:53,801
Two!

105
00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:54,902
Hey, babe,
you get the tickets?

106
00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:56,904
You know it.
The Hooters, third row.

107
00:03:56,970 --> 00:03:58,506
Okay, why would we go see
The Hooters?

108
00:03:58,572 --> 00:04:00,508
Um, because
it's our hometown's
favorite band

109
00:04:00,574 --> 00:04:02,075
and, also, you're, like,
the hugest fan ever.

110
00:04:02,142 --> 00:04:04,878
Geoff, I specifically left
a message for you
to get tickets

111
00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:06,414
for the Avant Garde Festival.

112
00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:07,948
Right, and I didn't understand
what that was,

113
00:04:08,015 --> 00:04:09,550
so I ignored it
and got third-row center.

114
00:04:09,617 --> 00:04:11,652
I cannot miss this festival,
okay?

115
00:04:11,719 --> 00:04:14,888
Yoko Ono is finally gonna
free herself from the shadow

116
00:04:14,955 --> 00:04:16,357
of her husband's
bubblegum band.

117
00:04:16,424 --> 00:04:17,691
You mean... The Beatles?

118
00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:19,460
You know what? It's fine.

119
00:04:19,527 --> 00:04:21,929
I'll just do my own thing,
and you can take Barry
to go see The Hooters.

120
00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:23,764
At least let me
buy you girls dessert.

121
00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:25,333
Oh, there's a new
wudder-ice place.

122
00:04:25,399 --> 00:04:27,234
Oh, man!
Their wudder ice is amazing!

123
00:04:27,301 --> 00:04:29,169
Okay. What are you people
talking about?

124
00:04:29,236 --> 00:04:30,371
Wudder ice.
Wudder ice.

125
00:04:30,438 --> 00:04:32,473
Wudder ice.
What's "wudder"?

126
00:04:32,540 --> 00:04:34,041
They're trying to say
"water ice."

127
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:35,108
It's a local dessert.

128
00:04:35,175 --> 00:04:37,611
Ew. Your food and words
are gross.

129
00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:39,913
I say we drive straight
until we find some culture.

130
00:04:41,148 --> 00:04:43,016
The Hooters.

131
00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:45,118
Did my daughter
just say "water,"

132
00:04:45,185 --> 00:04:46,354
like she's
from Delaware?

133
00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:49,457
I think she did.
Ugh. College was a mistake.

134
00:04:49,523 --> 00:04:51,725
Huge.

135
00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:54,194
Thank you
for coming down here,
Mr. Goldberg.

136
00:04:54,261 --> 00:04:57,398
It seems there's been
a serious mishap
with some machinery.

137
00:04:57,465 --> 00:05:00,233
Damn right.
Why do you always wear a tie
in shop class, anyway?

138
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:02,336
It literally can get caught
in everything.

139
00:05:02,403 --> 00:05:05,373
I dress nice for the wood
because I honor the wood.

140
00:05:05,439 --> 00:05:07,107
I expect the same
from my students.

141
00:05:07,174 --> 00:05:11,712
I get the boy can be
a bit of a smartass,
but it's just wood.

142
00:05:11,779 --> 00:05:13,614
I don't know why
you got to honor it.

143
00:05:13,681 --> 00:05:15,383
I'll tell you why, sir.

144
00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:18,586
I lived in a suspended
bamboo cage for three years.

145
00:05:18,652 --> 00:05:19,920
Oh, boy.

146
00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:22,055
Uh, Derek, while we all
thank you for your service,

147
00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:23,256
I don't think
we need to hear...

148
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,593
It was a simple design,
but sturdy as hell.

149
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:28,562
Naturally, I tried to
saw through it
with a crude tool

150
00:05:28,629 --> 00:05:30,798
I had fashioned from my hair
and some toenails.

151
00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:32,666
Could we just
stay on course...

152
00:05:32,733 --> 00:05:35,669
But as time wore on,
the jungle madness took me.

153
00:05:35,736 --> 00:05:37,938
I tried to summon
a monkey army to free me

154
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,339
from my elegant fortress.

155
00:05:39,407 --> 00:05:40,774
Okay, just speed through
to the end.

156
00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:44,111
I soon realized that
I needed to forgive the wood

157
00:05:44,177 --> 00:05:45,178
that encaged me.

158
00:05:45,245 --> 00:05:46,614
Just, uh...

159
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:49,817
And when a monsoon
swept my captors into a river,

160
00:05:49,883 --> 00:05:52,720
that cage became a raft
to freedom.

161
00:05:52,786 --> 00:05:57,324
And so, I have
dedicated my life
to the art of woodworking.

162
00:06:02,262 --> 00:06:03,764
Okey-dokey.

163
00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:06,967
I'm thinking maybe a week
of detention
should do the trick.

164
00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:09,002
No. You're grounded
for a month, too.

165
00:06:09,069 --> 00:06:11,271
What?
You got to get serious
with your schoolwork.

166
00:06:11,338 --> 00:06:13,741
Because in the future,
jokes can't pay the bills.

167
00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:16,109
Oh, yes, they can.
Ask Sinbad.

168
00:06:16,176 --> 00:06:18,145
I'm going to stop this.

169
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:21,549
Could we just agree no more
goofing around in shop class?

170
00:06:21,615 --> 00:06:25,786
And you will personally
apologize to the wood.

171
00:06:25,853 --> 00:06:28,388
You don't have to do that.

172
00:06:28,456 --> 00:06:30,257
ADULT ADAM:
As my dad was rejecting
my comedy,

173
00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:34,462
Geoff was finding out Erica
had rejected our hometown.

174
00:06:34,528 --> 00:06:36,797
Geoff? I thought you ended up
going to the concert.

175
00:06:36,864 --> 00:06:38,432
No. Erica's doing
her own thing...

176
00:06:38,499 --> 00:06:40,233
Which is great.
I totally get it.

177
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:42,235
Even though it's hurtful
and I don't get it at all.

178
00:06:42,302 --> 00:06:44,772
Don't worry. Our girl's just
going through a little phase.

179
00:06:44,838 --> 00:06:46,139
Is she?

180
00:06:46,206 --> 00:06:48,241
'Cause it kinda feels like
Erica's outgrown The Hooters

181
00:06:48,308 --> 00:06:50,444
and cooked fish
and attractive clothing

182
00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:52,913
and Philly's own
wudder ice.

183
00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:55,449
She kinda...
Kinda what? Say it.

184
00:06:55,516 --> 00:06:56,517
I can't say it.

185
00:06:56,584 --> 00:06:57,818
Say it, Geoff.
I don't wanna say it.

186
00:06:57,885 --> 00:06:58,919
If you don't say it,
I'll say it.

187
00:06:58,986 --> 00:07:00,220
No, don't say it.
Then say it.

188
00:07:00,287 --> 00:07:01,722
Erica is a giant

189
00:07:01,789 --> 00:07:03,557
Whoa!
What were you gonna say?

190
00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:05,793
That college has made her
snobby and pretentious.

191
00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:07,360
That's what I meant!
Well, that's not
what you said.

192
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:08,629
Oh, no! I'm so upset!

193
00:07:08,696 --> 00:07:10,197
You made me say it!
Now I feel horrible!

194
00:07:10,263 --> 00:07:12,432
Pull it together, Geoff!
If we don't do something,

195
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:13,967
Erica's gonna
leave Jenkintown behind

196
00:07:14,034 --> 00:07:16,203
to experience the world and
become an interesting person!

197
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:19,039
But how do we stop it?
You can't stop it.

198
00:07:19,106 --> 00:07:20,574
Your only choice
is to become it.

199
00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:23,711
Barry, no. That brie wheel
is for an entire party.

200
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:26,614
I can now handle
the richest of party cheeses

201
00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:30,050
since I've become accustomed
to how the other half lives.

202
00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:33,153
Now, pardon me,
and prepare to be amazed,

203
00:07:33,220 --> 00:07:35,523
as I drink this...
Water.

204
00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:38,992
He said it right.
How, Barry?

205
00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:41,128
ADULT ADAM:
Turns out, Barry had been
obsessively studying

206
00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:45,365
the ways of the wealthy,
thanks to one iconic
'80s TV show.

207
00:07:45,432 --> 00:07:47,501
Lifestyles of the Rich
and Famous?

208
00:07:47,568 --> 00:07:48,869
Thanks to Robin Leach,

209
00:07:48,936 --> 00:07:51,739
I now know everything there is
about class and wealth.

210
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:54,374
I study all the episodes
to prepare myself.

211
00:07:54,441 --> 00:07:55,776
For what?

212
00:07:55,843 --> 00:07:58,779
For when I'll be the Sixers
star player and team doctor,

213
00:07:58,846 --> 00:08:00,247
which means,
if I get injured,

214
00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:02,950
I'll be able to perform
surgery on myself.

215
00:08:03,016 --> 00:08:05,318
I believe in you, cocoa tush!
So, you really think that

216
00:08:05,385 --> 00:08:07,287
Erica's like these
fancy people on this show?

217
00:08:07,354 --> 00:08:11,391
She's seeing Yoko Ono
being weird and artsy.

218
00:08:11,458 --> 00:08:12,926
She's fancy, all right.

219
00:08:12,993 --> 00:08:15,228
Turn us into horrible
rich people, Barry.

220
00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:17,931
I'm in, too.
Yay, no other options.

221
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:19,967
ADULT ADAM:
While my mom and Geoff
were trying to break into

222
00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:22,435
the upper class,
I was just trying
to break out of my room.

223
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:23,871
Why are you doing
out of your room?

224
00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:25,438
You're grounded
for being a moron!

225
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,608
I can't be in that room
anymore, man.

226
00:08:27,675 --> 00:08:30,243
It's like a prison with all
my toys and video games.

227
00:08:30,310 --> 00:08:32,145
That's what you get
for telling bad jokes

228
00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:33,446
instead of getting
good grades.

229
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:35,248
It's not like I'm gonna use
anything I've learned

230
00:08:35,315 --> 00:08:39,152
in shop class...
Or math or science or history.

231
00:08:39,219 --> 00:08:41,254
Sex Ed cleared up some rumors,
but that's it.

232
00:08:41,321 --> 00:08:44,592
Why do you only show interest
in the most ridiculous careers

233
00:08:44,658 --> 00:08:46,560
that no Goldberg has ever
succeeded in?

234
00:08:46,627 --> 00:08:48,729
Ridiculous?
Give me one example.

235
00:08:48,796 --> 00:08:50,631
Movie directing.
Puppeteer.

236
00:08:50,698 --> 00:08:52,666
Animation.
Foley artist.

237
00:08:52,733 --> 00:08:54,968
Arcade hustler.
Sci-fi cartoonist.

238
00:08:55,035 --> 00:08:57,437
Stage combat instructor.
Stunt man.

239
00:08:57,504 --> 00:09:01,474
And to top it all off,
now you want to include
"comedy guy"?

240
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:04,612
Damn right.
Laughter's a real profession,
and I'm all in.

241
00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:06,647
In what?
This house when you're 30?

242
00:09:06,714 --> 00:09:09,049
I see you have your doubts,
so how about this?

243
00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:11,284
If I make you laugh
right now,

244
00:09:11,351 --> 00:09:14,154
then you'll have to
fully embrace my destiny

245
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:15,623
as a professional
funny man.

246
00:09:15,689 --> 00:09:17,791
And what happens
when I don't laugh?
Because I won't.

247
00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:19,059
You can ground me
for the whole year.

248
00:09:19,126 --> 00:09:20,560
This is a bad deal
for you.

249
00:09:20,628 --> 00:09:21,629
Oh, you're on.

250
00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:23,030
Or as Hans and Franz
would say...

251
00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:25,265
"I'm gonna pump... You up."

252
00:09:25,332 --> 00:09:26,867
Don't do this deal.

253
00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:28,501
I don't want you
hanging around this house
for a whole year.

254
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,838
Don't worry.
I'm just getting warmed up.

255
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:32,539
Or as James Brown
would say...

256
00:09:32,606 --> 00:09:33,774
"So hot!"

257
00:09:33,841 --> 00:09:35,743
In the hot tub!
Yow!

258
00:09:35,809 --> 00:09:37,044
Too hot
in the hot tub!

259
00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:38,946
This is why it's dangerous
to believe in yourself.

260
00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:41,615
ADULT ADAM:
And with that, I gave him
every comedic weapon

261
00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:42,716
I had in my arsenal.

262
00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:44,151
I started with some Pee Wee.

263
00:09:44,217 --> 00:09:45,919
I know you are,
but what am I?

264
00:09:45,986 --> 00:09:47,855
Heh heh heh!
I did some classic movies...

265
00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,322
I'll have what she's having.

266
00:09:49,389 --> 00:09:50,457
...impressions...
Ooh!

267
00:09:50,523 --> 00:09:51,725
I found out
I'm color blind.

268
00:09:51,792 --> 00:09:53,827
The diagnosis came completely
out of the purple!

269
00:09:53,894 --> 00:09:55,228
Ooh-hoo!
...wacky wordplay...

270
00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:56,864
We have clearance,
Clarence.

271
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:59,466
Roger, Roger.
What's our vector, Victor?

272
00:09:59,532 --> 00:10:01,301
...prop comedy...

273
00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:03,270
Where did you get
that coconut?
They're out of season.

274
00:10:03,336 --> 00:10:05,138
ADULT ADAM:
...even puppetry!
High five?

275
00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:07,007
I can't! My mouth will break!

276
00:10:07,074 --> 00:10:08,375
This guy...

277
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:09,643
S'alright.

278
00:10:10,744 --> 00:10:12,579
Why did you
make that deal

279
00:10:12,646 --> 00:10:14,181
'Cause I'm a funny boy,

280
00:10:14,247 --> 00:10:15,983
and I'm gonna be
a funny big boy

281
00:10:16,049 --> 00:10:17,450
who makes money from it.

282
00:10:17,517 --> 00:10:19,386
That's truly
the first humorous thing
that you've said

283
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:20,620
this whole conversation.

284
00:10:20,688 --> 00:10:22,022
The problem isn't me.

285
00:10:22,089 --> 00:10:24,792
It's my joyless grump of a dad
who has no sense of humor.

286
00:10:24,858 --> 00:10:26,559
Enough with the comedy,
moron!

287
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,462
You're gonna get a regular job
like everybody else!

288
00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:31,164
Like what?
Eh, I don't know.

289
00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:34,367
A police officer, a doctor,
a... A construction worker,

290
00:10:34,434 --> 00:10:35,435
an Indian chief.

291
00:10:35,502 --> 00:10:37,237
You're just listing
the Village People!

292
00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:40,173
You have more chance of being
in a disco supergroup

293
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:42,475
than you do from making money
telling jokes.

294
00:10:42,542 --> 00:10:44,377
We'll see about that.

295
00:10:44,444 --> 00:10:46,079
**

296
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:48,115
Aah!
Too forced. Didn't buy it.

297
00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:49,482
I can do that again.

298
00:10:52,385 --> 00:10:54,187
ADULT ADAM:
My mom and Geoff
would do whatever it took

299
00:10:54,254 --> 00:10:56,189
to get Erica back,
even if it meant listening to

300
00:10:56,256 --> 00:10:59,292
this fancy lad.
Ahoy, and welcome aboard

301
00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:01,929
on our journey to riches
and fame-awcity.

302
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:04,531
Oh, I bet the letters
stand for stuff.

303
00:11:04,597 --> 00:11:07,067
Oh, yes.
It's called a mammogram.

304
00:11:07,134 --> 00:11:10,603
And we start with C,
for clothes.

305
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,339
From now on,
you'll only wear

306
00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:14,541
the finest fabric
known to man...

307
00:11:14,607 --> 00:11:17,044
Velvet, silk,
all the leathers.

308
00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:19,679
Okay, I guess we could
hit Filene's Basement,

309
00:11:19,747 --> 00:11:21,414
see if there's anything
in the bargain bin.

310
00:11:21,481 --> 00:11:25,285
Never! You now only shop
upstairs at Filene's,

311
00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:27,520
where they have fancy windows
and you pay full price.

312
00:11:27,587 --> 00:11:29,823
Full price?
Can that even be done?

313
00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:32,826
ADULT ADAM: Oh, it could.
Next was L, for Laughter.

314
00:11:32,893 --> 00:11:35,295
The kind of condescending
cackle only reserved

315
00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:37,597
for rich folks who know
they're better than you.

316
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:42,469
Wow, yeah. That was incredibly
dismissive and hurtful.

317
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:46,073
ADULT ADAM: Then came A,
for Accents, which means
you sound sophisticated,

318
00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:47,640
and from anywhere
but Philly.

319
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,642
Now tell me
what's in this glass!
Don't think! Go!

320
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:51,511
Water! Ooh, my God!
I'm learning!

321
00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:54,514
ADULT ADAM:
And last, the double S
which stood for Snooty Sauce.

322
00:11:54,581 --> 00:11:56,784
All you had to do was learn
how to ask for it.

323
00:11:56,850 --> 00:11:59,219
BOTH: Pardon me, have you
got any Grey Poupon?

324
00:11:59,286 --> 00:12:00,921
No!
BOTH: Pardon me,

325
00:12:00,988 --> 00:12:02,856
do you have
any Grey Poupon?

326
00:12:02,923 --> 00:12:04,057
No.
BOTH: Pardon me.

327
00:12:04,124 --> 00:12:05,926
Do you have any
Grey Poupon?

328
00:12:05,993 --> 00:12:07,761
Oh, yes.

329
00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:09,763
Your lesson in "class"
is complete.

330
00:12:09,830 --> 00:12:12,099
Now, go out there and make
the world a worse place.

331
00:12:12,165 --> 00:12:15,602
Look out, high society,
a mom and her
daughter's boyfriend

332
00:12:15,668 --> 00:12:17,404
are going to New York!

333
00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:18,839
Yeah, is it weird that
we've been hanging out?

334
00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:20,507
A little.

335
00:12:20,573 --> 00:12:22,375
ADULT ADAM:
While Geoff and my mom
were classing up,

336
00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:24,812
I was discovering
my dad was down to laugh.

337
00:12:24,878 --> 00:12:27,047
Hee! Hee-hee!
What was that?

338
00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:29,549
What was what?
You're actually laughing!

339
00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:32,519
At 227?
What is happening?

340
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:34,187
I'll tell you
what's happening.

341
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:36,323
Big Tasty's getting a taste
of the high life.

342
00:12:36,389 --> 00:12:39,126
Please, I'm in the middle
of a very important
discovery right now.

343
00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:40,660
Do not butt in
with your insanity.

344
00:12:40,727 --> 00:12:44,564
You know what's insane?
This delicious jar of caviar.

345
00:12:44,631 --> 00:12:45,999
How the hell are you paying
for caviar?

346
00:12:46,066 --> 00:12:47,935
No! This is not
about him right now!

347
00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:49,536
I cashed in
one of Nana's bonds

348
00:12:49,602 --> 00:12:51,939
to get a little taste
of Beverly Hills.

349
00:12:53,841 --> 00:12:55,608
Oh, no!

350
00:12:55,675 --> 00:12:57,044
It's so salty!

351
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:58,778
They're fish eggs,
you moron.

352
00:12:58,846 --> 00:13:00,380
Fish lay eggs?

353
00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:02,682
It's stuck under my tongue!

354
00:13:02,749 --> 00:13:03,750
I need milk!

355
00:13:03,817 --> 00:13:05,552
That one
never disappoints!

356
00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:07,354
Holy balls!

357
00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:09,890
First you laugh at Jackée,
then at Barry?

358
00:13:09,957 --> 00:13:12,059
You literally laugh
at everyone but me!

359
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:13,160
Hee-hee-hoo!

360
00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:14,895
Wait. I did it?
Did I do it?

361
00:13:14,962 --> 00:13:17,230
This show's hilarious!

362
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:19,933
They never leave the stoop!

363
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,768
ADULT ADAM:
My world was rocked.

364
00:13:21,835 --> 00:13:24,437
For the first time,
nothing was funny.

365
00:13:24,504 --> 00:13:27,074
Now, I want everyone to look
at my stool.

366
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:28,675
This is
a very loose stool.

367
00:13:30,343 --> 00:13:32,913
See? I know it's just
a stool sample,
but it's a real mess.

368
00:13:32,980 --> 00:13:34,948
ADULT ADAM:
Thanks to my dad,

369
00:13:35,015 --> 00:13:36,649
my dream of comedy died.

370
00:13:36,716 --> 00:13:40,320
Meanwhile, Erica's avant-garde
music adventure
had just begun.

371
00:13:40,387 --> 00:13:43,023
It feels so liberating
to be here with, like,

372
00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:44,624
like-minded people,
ya know?

373
00:13:44,691 --> 00:13:47,594
Absolutely.
I just can't wait
to sit down and...

374
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,629
Holy crap!
Geoff and my mom are here!

375
00:13:51,531 --> 00:13:53,766
Fancy seeing you here.

376
00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,668
So fancy.
Indeed!

377
00:13:55,735 --> 00:13:58,438
Okay, why are you here
and talking like that

378
00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:00,607
and dressed like
the cast of Dynasty?

379
00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:03,010
What, you mean these old
new full-priced rags

380
00:14:03,076 --> 00:14:04,945
from the real Filene's
Above Ground?

381
00:14:05,012 --> 00:14:06,679
Hmm. We stopped there
on the way here.

382
00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:07,814
Pocket square?

383
00:14:07,881 --> 00:14:09,682
No, I don't want
a pocket square, Geoff!

384
00:14:09,749 --> 00:14:11,618
Again,
why are you here?

385
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:13,720
Yeah. Are you guys,
like, on a date?

386
00:14:13,786 --> 00:14:15,923
On a date with culture.

387
00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:17,891
I'm most excited for...

388
00:14:17,958 --> 00:14:22,495
M'baku O'Shaughnessy
and the Afro Celtic
Warbling Experience.

389
00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:25,465
I read about
this little musical powwow
in The New Yorker.

390
00:14:25,532 --> 00:14:28,235
No, you didn't. I literally
told you I was coming here.

391
00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:29,903
Did you, now?
Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho.

392
00:14:29,970 --> 00:14:31,238
What is that?
Why are you doing that?

393
00:14:31,304 --> 00:14:33,240
BOTH: Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho.
Stop ho-ho'ing.

394
00:14:33,306 --> 00:14:34,741
You sound like
douchey Santas.

395
00:14:34,807 --> 00:14:36,743
BOTH: Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho!
Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho!

396
00:14:36,809 --> 00:14:38,045
Why are you doing it?

397
00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:40,180
It seems like what you do.
Oh-ho!

398
00:14:40,247 --> 00:14:42,382
Okay, I don't know
what you two are doing,
but you need to go.

399
00:14:42,449 --> 00:14:44,985
We're just trying to like
what you like,
'cause, you know,

400
00:14:45,052 --> 00:14:47,354
you're a big
snooty jerk now.

401
00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:50,690
So, I'm not allowed
to go away to college
and change and grow,

402
00:14:50,757 --> 00:14:51,891
like a normal person?

403
00:14:51,959 --> 00:14:54,494
Look, of course we want you
to learn and grow.

404
00:14:54,561 --> 00:14:57,230
We just... Don't want you
to grow away from us.

405
00:14:57,297 --> 00:14:58,932
Well, none of this
is helping your case.

406
00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:00,733
Now please leave.

407
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:03,736
Fine. Maybe I'll see you
back at home.

408
00:15:03,803 --> 00:15:05,738
**

409
00:15:05,805 --> 00:15:07,507
ERICA: I know this isn't
what you want
to hear right now,

410
00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:09,709
but they're actually
kind of cute together.

411
00:15:11,011 --> 00:15:12,179
Thanks for coming.

412
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:14,447
Mr. Crosby here insisted
we do this in person.

413
00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:16,950
There was another incident
in shop class today.

414
00:15:17,017 --> 00:15:18,818
Sounds like we could have
covered this in a phone call,

415
00:15:18,885 --> 00:15:20,753
but I'm here,
so go for it.

416
00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:23,356
I was demonstrating
how to perform a mitre cut.

417
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:25,558
When I bent down
to retrieve some lumber,

418
00:15:25,625 --> 00:15:27,394
I split my pants
clean down the middle.

419
00:15:27,460 --> 00:15:30,030
Having lost my balance,
I reached out
for the nearest item

420
00:15:30,097 --> 00:15:31,764
to steady myself,
which, unfortunately,

421
00:15:31,831 --> 00:15:33,433
was an active band saw.

422
00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:36,136
Now, while the blade did not
connect with any fingers,

423
00:15:36,203 --> 00:15:39,973
it did shear off
one millimeter
of this pinkie nub.

424
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:43,543
Thinking fast, I ripped
my already split pants
wide open

425
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,778
and used the fabric
as a tourniquet.

426
00:15:45,845 --> 00:15:49,549
Now bottomless and afraid,
I Donald Ducked about the room
in search of ice.

427
00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:52,552
Thankfully, I had confiscated
a Slurpee from a student,

428
00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:53,987
so I plunged my hand directly

429
00:15:54,054 --> 00:15:55,555
into the beverage
to numb the pain.

430
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:58,291
As you can imagine,
I slipped on the mess,

431
00:15:58,358 --> 00:16:01,728
toppling directly
into my star student
Jonathan Atkins.

432
00:16:01,794 --> 00:16:04,831
His body was pinned
under mine,
rendering him immobile,

433
00:16:04,897 --> 00:16:08,968
which was problematic, as
I had completely thrown out
my back upon impact.

434
00:16:09,036 --> 00:16:11,171
The students howled
with laughter.

435
00:16:11,238 --> 00:16:13,906
Once my shoulder dislocated,
I was able to free myself

436
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,408
and shimmy towards the door.

437
00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,744
That's when my trick knee
gave out, and I rolled

438
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:18,945
right into the belt sander,

439
00:16:19,012 --> 00:16:22,082
which toppled directly
onto my groin.

440
00:16:22,149 --> 00:16:25,085
Upon impact, I... Farted...

441
00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:27,254
Real bad and real loud.

442
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:30,057
I'm gonna stop you there.
Really

443
00:16:30,123 --> 00:16:32,125
Yeah. What does any of this
have to do with Adam?

444
00:16:32,192 --> 00:16:34,661
Today, there was one student
that did not laugh

445
00:16:34,727 --> 00:16:36,496
at my ballet of tragedy.

446
00:16:36,563 --> 00:16:39,766
In fact, he was so composed,
he turned off that belt sander

447
00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:43,403
moments before it plunged
onto my genitals.

448
00:16:43,470 --> 00:16:45,338
Your son.
Really?

449
00:16:45,405 --> 00:16:46,806
You must be very proud.

450
00:16:46,873 --> 00:16:48,808
**

451
00:16:48,875 --> 00:16:50,243
Stop right there.

452
00:16:51,244 --> 00:16:52,445
We need to talk.
Why?

453
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,414
You heard the guy...
I'm his star student.

454
00:16:54,481 --> 00:16:55,915
He was Donald Ducking!

455
00:16:55,982 --> 00:16:57,550
If you don't laugh
at a Donald Ducking,

456
00:16:57,617 --> 00:16:59,319
then we got
a big problem. Big.

457
00:16:59,386 --> 00:17:01,888
You're the one who told me
I needed to focus on school

458
00:17:01,954 --> 00:17:03,990
to get a normal job.
That's what I'm doing.

459
00:17:04,057 --> 00:17:06,059
I just wanted you to be
a little more realistic.

460
00:17:06,126 --> 00:17:10,097
You told me I'd never
make it in any form
of entertainment...

461
00:17:10,163 --> 00:17:11,364
Not even puppetry.

462
00:17:11,431 --> 00:17:13,133
I think we both know
there's no money in puppets.

463
00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:14,534
That's not the point!

464
00:17:14,601 --> 00:17:17,404
I'm not good at sports
or science or math

465
00:17:17,470 --> 00:17:19,139
or stupid woodworking!

466
00:17:19,206 --> 00:17:22,309
But making people laugh
was the one thing
I thought I could do.

467
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:25,678
Adam...
No, I get it now.
You were right.

468
00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:28,081
All I'll ever be
is just a Goldberg.

469
00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:30,817
**

470
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:38,225
ADULT ADAM: With my mom gone,
Erica could finally

471
00:17:38,291 --> 00:17:40,059
enjoy her new,
sophisticated music...

472
00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:43,029
...if you could
call it that.

473
00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:44,897
It says this piece
is about Nixon.

474
00:17:44,964 --> 00:17:46,299
That was
my first thought.

475
00:17:46,366 --> 00:17:48,635
It's so very haunting
and painful.

476
00:17:48,701 --> 00:17:51,338
True. It's...
So painful.

477
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:53,473
I can feel the music
banging in my head

478
00:17:53,540 --> 00:17:55,242
and rattling
my teeth and gums.

479
00:17:57,344 --> 00:17:58,911
That's how you know
it's good.

480
00:17:58,978 --> 00:18:02,115
I really love
how the bagpipes blend
horribly with the gonging

481
00:18:02,182 --> 00:18:04,351
and the off-putting
bird noises...

482
00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:06,153
And I just can't do it!
This is the worst!

483
00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:08,054
Shh!
Quiet down.

484
00:18:08,121 --> 00:18:09,422
This isn't
The Hooters concert.

485
00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:12,091
Yeah, 'cause God forbid
we listen to some catchy tunes

486
00:18:12,159 --> 00:18:13,860
that you can sing
and dance to.

487
00:18:13,926 --> 00:18:15,228
God, when is this over?

488
00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:17,029
We have, like,
three hours left.

489
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:18,865
Three hours?

490
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:22,034
I ditched my boyfriend
and awesome band for this...

491
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:24,204
Avant garbage?
I got to go.

492
00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:26,939
**

493
00:18:28,175 --> 00:18:29,376
Hi. Excuse me.

494
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:31,744
Have you seen a young man
in a semi-silk jacket

495
00:18:31,811 --> 00:18:34,214
with an older lady
who looks like a villain
in a soap opera?

496
00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:36,115
You're literally describing
everyone here.

497
00:18:36,183 --> 00:18:38,185
(THE HOOTERS'
"AND WE DANCED" PLAYS)

498
00:18:40,019 --> 00:18:41,354
They're gone.

499
00:18:43,890 --> 00:18:45,225
Erica?

500
00:18:45,292 --> 00:18:47,059
Oh, thank God
you're still here.

501
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:48,361
Why are you
missing the show?

502
00:18:48,428 --> 00:18:49,962
The bagpipe solo's
about to start.

503
00:18:50,029 --> 00:18:54,133
Listen, I wanted to be
more than just a girl
from Jenkintown.

504
00:18:54,201 --> 00:18:56,536
The truth is, I love my town,

505
00:18:57,837 --> 00:18:59,105
and all the things in it.

506
00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:01,974
I live in Jenkintown.

507
00:19:02,041 --> 00:19:04,477
Do you, now?

508
00:19:04,544 --> 00:19:07,580
She's back. My normal,
beautiful baby is back.
* She was a bebop baby

509
00:19:07,647 --> 00:19:08,748
Mom!
* On a hard day's night

510
00:19:08,815 --> 00:19:10,750
No. You can't take it back.
You said you love us.

511
00:19:10,817 --> 00:19:12,585
I really do.
God help me.

512
00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:14,187
* There was no use talking
There was nothing to say

513
00:19:14,254 --> 00:19:15,722
Anyway, what do you say
we head back to Philly

514
00:19:15,788 --> 00:19:18,024
and grab a wudder ice?
* When the band
began to play and play

515
00:19:18,090 --> 00:19:19,492
Actually...
I have a better idea.

516
00:19:19,559 --> 00:19:23,963
* And we danced, like a wave
on the ocean, romanced

517
00:19:24,030 --> 00:19:27,133
* We were liars in love
and we danced

518
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:28,968
* Swept away for a moment
by chance

519
00:19:29,035 --> 00:19:31,137
ADULT ADAM: That night,
Erica learned that
you don't have to give up

520
00:19:31,204 --> 00:19:32,472
where you're from
in order to grow

521
00:19:32,539 --> 00:19:34,407
into the kind of person
you always wanted to be.

522
00:19:34,474 --> 00:19:36,643
* And danced and danced and
danced and danced and danced

523
00:19:36,709 --> 00:19:38,378
Hey.

524
00:19:38,445 --> 00:19:40,213
* And we danced
I rented Stripes. I know
how you love that movie.

525
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:43,350
* Like a wave on the ocean,
romanced *
I'm... Not feeling it.

526
00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:45,752
* We were liars in love,
and we danced
Okay.

527
00:19:45,818 --> 00:19:47,254
There's something
you should know.

528
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:49,756
* Swept away for a moment
by chance
You really are funny.

529
00:19:49,822 --> 00:19:51,090
* And we danced
and danced and danced
Stop.

530
00:19:51,157 --> 00:19:53,560
No, it's the truth.
I just didn't want
to encourage you.

531
00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:55,695
So, you were
just trying to

532
00:19:55,762 --> 00:19:56,996
scare me away from it all?

533
00:19:57,063 --> 00:19:59,432
I was, and I'm sorry.

534
00:19:59,499 --> 00:20:01,067
Wow.

535
00:20:01,133 --> 00:20:03,002
Never heard you say
"sorry" before.

536
00:20:03,069 --> 00:20:05,372
Look, I always thought
I'd be the kind of dad

537
00:20:05,438 --> 00:20:07,474
who would help guide you
with your career.

538
00:20:07,540 --> 00:20:09,041
But all those things
that you love,

539
00:20:09,108 --> 00:20:10,377
they make me
feel helpless.

540
00:20:10,443 --> 00:20:13,313
Why?
I sell furniture, Adam.

541
00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:15,482
I don't know anything
about movies or comedy

542
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:18,485
or magic or puppets.

543
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:21,921
Point is, I don't get
any of your crazy dreams.

544
00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:26,058
I really don't. But if that's
what you really want,

545
00:20:26,125 --> 00:20:27,560
I'm in.
* We were liars in love,
and we danced

546
00:20:27,627 --> 00:20:29,962
* Swept away for a moment
by chance
That's...

547
00:20:30,029 --> 00:20:31,964
Thank you.
* And we danced
and danced and danced

548
00:20:32,031 --> 00:20:33,866
Just... Thank you.

549
00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:36,035
* Yeah

550
00:20:36,102 --> 00:20:38,237
Hey, Dad?

551
00:20:38,305 --> 00:20:40,072
* And we danced
What do you call a cow
with no legs?

552
00:20:40,139 --> 00:20:41,207
Ground beef.

553
00:20:41,274 --> 00:20:42,775
Here's a little tip...

554
00:20:42,842 --> 00:20:44,877
Don't ever do that joke
in public.

555
00:20:44,944 --> 00:20:47,514
**

556
00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:50,116
Um, what do you call
a cow with no legs?

557
00:20:50,182 --> 00:20:51,551
Ground beef!

558
00:20:54,153 --> 00:20:55,888
Do any of you
like impressions?

559
00:20:57,557 --> 00:20:59,526
Damn. I got to learn
some impressions.

560
00:21:04,931 --> 00:21:07,867
Okay, I got you the fancy
rich-people food you wanted,

561
00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:11,471
but I... I just don't think...
This is my new way of living.

562
00:21:11,538 --> 00:21:12,772
Bring me
my first course.

563
00:21:12,839 --> 00:21:14,941
I present to you... Pate.

564
00:21:15,007 --> 00:21:16,876
Like a hamburger pat

565
00:21:16,943 --> 00:21:18,010
Yes!

566
00:21:19,346 --> 00:21:21,348
No! Ugh!

567
00:21:21,414 --> 00:21:24,283
It's like meat,
but it's smooth
like peanut butter!

568
00:21:24,351 --> 00:21:27,520
Come on. Let mama make you
a shrimp parm and
a chili pot pie.

569
00:21:27,587 --> 00:21:30,957
Yes! Let's cheese up
some shrimps and pie up
some chili!