1
00:00:00,334 --> 00:00:02,568
ADULT ADAM:
Back in the '80s,
the most terrifying place
2
00:00:02,570 --> 00:00:06,739
in existence for any freshman
was the high-school cafeteria.
3
00:00:06,741 --> 00:00:09,308
The table you chose defined
how you were labeled
4
00:00:09,310 --> 00:00:11,477
and where you ranked
in the social hierarchy.
5
00:00:11,479 --> 00:00:14,079
I don't see
any seats together.
What should we do?
6
00:00:14,081 --> 00:00:15,014
Every man for himself.
7
00:00:15,016 --> 00:00:17,883
If anyone asks,
I'm a skate rat now.
8
00:00:20,388 --> 00:00:20,919
Ooh.
9
00:00:20,921 --> 00:00:22,788
ADULT ADAM:
Classic Dave Kim.
10
00:00:22,790 --> 00:00:24,456
Figuring out
where to sit, eh?
11
00:00:24,458 --> 00:00:28,227
Yeah.
Ah, that's a sad dance
that I know all too well.
12
00:00:28,229 --> 00:00:30,229
But lucky for you,
I'm a guidance counselor,
13
00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:32,431
and I can guide you
to lunchroom success.
14
00:00:32,433 --> 00:00:34,366
Um, maybe I could sit
with the preppies?
15
00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:37,870
Come on, man.
You want to walk around
in boat shoes with no socks?
16
00:00:37,872 --> 00:00:40,406
You want to invite that kind
of fungus in your life?
17
00:00:40,408 --> 00:00:42,207
Okay. How about
the band geeks?
18
00:00:42,209 --> 00:00:45,144
Do you even play
an instrument?
No, you don't.
19
00:00:45,146 --> 00:00:47,713
So what makes you think
they're gonna just welcome you
20
00:00:47,715 --> 00:00:49,848
into their unique
and beautiful fold?
21
00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:52,217
Uh, maybe
the Goth kids?
22
00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:54,553
The Goths?
They would eat you alive.
23
00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:56,522
Seriously, I heard
they eat cats and stuff.
24
00:00:56,524 --> 00:00:59,291
Come on!
I gotta sit somewhere!
Time's running out!
25
00:00:59,293 --> 00:01:01,527
Agreed. And you're starting
to look real desperate,
26
00:01:01,529 --> 00:01:03,495
and standing next to me
is not helping you.
27
00:01:03,497 --> 00:01:05,230
Please, just go!
Mmm, okay.
28
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:07,099
ADULT ADAM:
I was officially tableless.
29
00:01:07,101 --> 00:01:08,467
If I didn't find
a place to sit,
30
00:01:08,469 --> 00:01:10,636
I'd be
a social pariah forever.
31
00:01:10,638 --> 00:01:12,438
Hey, Goldberg,
come sit with us.
32
00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:14,306
Just then the sportos
beckon me
33
00:01:14,308 --> 00:01:16,642
to sit at the coolest table
in the cafeteria.
34
00:01:16,644 --> 00:01:19,812
It was either a miracle
or a huge mistake.
35
00:01:19,814 --> 00:01:20,979
Grab a chair, little man.
36
00:01:20,981 --> 00:01:22,681
And the plate of waffle fries
is for sharing.
37
00:01:22,683 --> 00:01:26,885
No offense to myself,
but I think you got
the wrong guy.
38
00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:27,152
No way!
39
00:01:27,154 --> 00:01:32,357
We all think it's awesome
that you're super into
movies, robots, He-Man.
40
00:01:32,359 --> 00:01:33,826
Oh, so you're also
a He-head?
41
00:01:33,828 --> 00:01:36,528
That's the name I've given
to die-hard He-Man fans.
42
00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:40,032
That's cool.
It's also cool that, like,
43
00:01:40,034 --> 00:01:42,000
the top of your head
smells so good.
44
00:01:42,002 --> 00:01:44,069
Odd observation
from that distance,
45
00:01:44,071 --> 00:01:45,704
but I do condition every day.
46
00:01:45,706 --> 00:01:47,272
It shows, bro.
Nice.
47
00:01:47,274 --> 00:01:48,207
Such luster.
48
00:01:48,209 --> 00:01:49,775
Ah, balls!
She got to you!
49
00:01:49,777 --> 00:01:52,411
No, man. We...
We like you for you.
50
00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:55,180
God, my own mom
has to find me a table?
51
00:01:55,182 --> 00:01:55,981
That's where my life is?
52
00:01:55,983 --> 00:01:57,382
She gave us free waffle fries.
You get it.
53
00:01:57,384 --> 00:02:02,020
She also yelled at us
and said that in time,
we'd come to love you.
54
00:02:02,323 --> 00:02:04,723
Mom, I don't want
to hear any more!
55
00:02:04,725 --> 00:02:05,457
Adam.
56
00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:06,024
Mom,
you ruined my life!
57
00:02:06,026 --> 00:02:09,495
Schmoo, you just
seemed so helpless
without a place to sit.
58
00:02:09,497 --> 00:02:11,630
It's my job,
as your mama, to help.
59
00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:14,266
Help?
That's the whole problem.
60
00:02:14,268 --> 00:02:15,434
If you're gonna sub
at my school,
61
00:02:15,436 --> 00:02:18,470
you have to start
respecting my boundaries.
Understand?
62
00:02:18,472 --> 00:02:20,038
Boundaries.
Totally get it.
63
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:20,606
Do you?
Boundaries.
64
00:02:20,608 --> 00:02:23,742
'Cause nothing up
to this point has led me
to believe you do.
65
00:02:23,744 --> 00:02:24,376
I get boundaries, Adam.
66
00:02:24,378 --> 00:02:28,413
You don't want me
to intervene or talk to you
while you're at school.
67
00:02:28,415 --> 00:02:29,915
Good.
Until I see you struggle,
68
00:02:29,917 --> 00:02:32,117
and then I come in
strong and hard.
69
00:02:32,119 --> 00:02:33,285
Nope. Lost it.
Okay, okay.
70
00:02:33,287 --> 00:02:36,588
We'll limit our interactions
to hallway snuggies...
71
00:02:36,590 --> 00:02:38,891
Mom!
...and brief
Eskimo kisses.
72
00:02:38,893 --> 00:02:39,758
Mom.
Grr. Fine.
73
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:41,326
I'll leave your little
kitten nose alone.
74
00:02:41,328 --> 00:02:44,096
Thank you.
But at home,
all bets are off.
75
00:02:44,098 --> 00:02:45,330
No!
76
00:02:58,112 --> 00:03:00,012
ADULT ADAM:
It was October 12,
1980-something,
77
00:03:00,014 --> 00:03:03,549
and my dad was coming home
to a familiar frustration.
78
00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:05,017
Did anyone call
while I was out?
79
00:03:05,019 --> 00:03:06,318
Yeah. I wrote it down
on the pad.
80
00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:08,520
Flurt Burtman?
Who the hell's Flurt Burtman?
81
00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:11,490
I don't know.
He was talking all fast,
'cause it was important.
82
00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:13,292
Anyway,
call him back.
Call who back?
83
00:03:13,294 --> 00:03:16,261
If it's important,
I need to know
the actual name.
84
00:03:16,263 --> 00:03:19,031
I don't know.
I'm not invested,
because it wasn't for me.
85
00:03:19,033 --> 00:03:21,166
What the hell's
this message? "PP"?
86
00:03:21,168 --> 00:03:21,700
Oh, Barry wrote that.
87
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:25,504
My guess is he either
drank too much Mr. Pibb
or Pop Pop called?
88
00:03:25,506 --> 00:03:26,838
Wait. My dad called?
89
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:27,739
He never uses the phone.
90
00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:29,575
He always thinks
the Cubans are listening.
91
00:03:29,577 --> 00:03:30,475
Oh, he calls
all the time.
92
00:03:30,477 --> 00:03:32,945
He just says, "Tell the moron
I'll call him back."
93
00:03:32,947 --> 00:03:35,514
Oh, so this is me giving you
those dozens of messages.
94
00:03:35,516 --> 00:03:38,383
You know what?
This madness stops now.
95
00:03:38,385 --> 00:03:40,052
ADULT ADAM:
My dad's solution...
96
00:03:40,054 --> 00:03:40,986
The answering machine.
97
00:03:40,988 --> 00:03:42,688
Before voicemail,
this bulky thing
98
00:03:42,690 --> 00:03:45,857
was the best technology
the '80s had to offer.
99
00:03:45,859 --> 00:03:46,758
Problem solved.
100
00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:49,995
Holy crap! You got us
an answering machine?
101
00:03:49,997 --> 00:03:51,029
Erica, come quick!
102
00:03:51,031 --> 00:03:52,898
Dad did something
that doesn't suck!
103
00:03:52,900 --> 00:03:54,600
Oh, my God!
An answering machine?
104
00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:57,102
Stop, you morons.
It's not for you.
105
00:03:57,104 --> 00:03:59,338
It's so I can finally
get my messages.
106
00:03:59,340 --> 00:04:00,205
I'm doing
the outgoing message.
107
00:04:00,207 --> 00:04:02,407
No way! I've been planning
for this my whole life.
108
00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:05,377
(AS MR. T)
I don't want
no jibber-jabber, foo'!
109
00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:06,144
Wait for the beep!
110
00:04:06,146 --> 00:04:07,746
Stay in school,
and leave a message.
111
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:10,015
This is Mr. T,
by the way.
Get out of here.
112
00:04:10,017 --> 00:04:12,517
(AS TONY MONTANA)
Say hello
to my little message.
113
00:04:12,519 --> 00:04:15,687
This is Scarface,
by the way. Cocaine.
114
00:04:15,689 --> 00:04:17,022
I'm leaving
the message.
115
00:04:17,024 --> 00:04:18,357
There's a simple one
right here
116
00:04:18,359 --> 00:04:19,758
in the instruction book.
No! It can't be you!
117
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,627
(NORMAL VOICE)
No! Don't read
the suggested script!
118
00:04:21,629 --> 00:04:22,427
That's the worst option
of all.
119
00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:25,764
Hello. You've reached
the answering machine
120
00:04:25,766 --> 00:04:27,499
of the
Goldberg residence.
121
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:31,436
We either are unavailable
or unable
122
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:32,871
to get to the phone
at the moment,
123
00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:35,040
but we would appreciate it
if you would leave
124
00:04:35,042 --> 00:04:37,843
your name, telephone number,
business,
125
00:04:37,845 --> 00:04:42,180
the person you're calling for,
and the time you called
126
00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:44,249
after you hear the beep.
127
00:04:44,251 --> 00:04:47,653
And we will be sure
to get back to you at our...
128
00:04:47,655 --> 00:04:48,920
Come on! Everyone knows
how to do it.
129
00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:50,856
I can't take it.
It's so long and explain-y.
130
00:04:50,858 --> 00:04:52,124
Shut up!
131
00:04:52,126 --> 00:04:53,825
Earliest convenience.
132
00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:56,561
(CHUCKLES) Yeah.
I... I'm good with that.
133
00:04:56,563 --> 00:04:58,297
ADULT ADAM:
As my dad got the win,
134
00:04:58,299 --> 00:05:00,599
I was still a lone loser
without a table.
135
00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:02,334
My only choice
was to accept my fate
136
00:05:02,336 --> 00:05:03,902
of eating alone
under the bleachers.
137
00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:07,639
That is, until I stumbled upon
my salvation.
138
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:09,841
Holy motherboard.
139
00:05:09,843 --> 00:05:11,176
The high-school computer lab.
140
00:05:11,178 --> 00:05:13,412
It had six state-of-the-art
Apple IIs,
141
00:05:13,414 --> 00:05:17,549
each with double floppy drives
and a dot-matrix printer
142
00:05:17,551 --> 00:05:19,685
that could ink a
whopping six lines per minute
143
00:05:19,687 --> 00:05:22,220
on that weird paper
where you rip off the sides.
144
00:05:22,222 --> 00:05:24,222
We're allowed
to be in here.
Okay.
145
00:05:24,224 --> 00:05:26,692
Mr. Glascott says we can stay
the whole lunch period
146
00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:27,959
as long as we don't
make crumbs,
147
00:05:27,961 --> 00:05:30,962
which is why I bring
a thermos of soup every day.
148
00:05:30,964 --> 00:05:32,264
Cool.
149
00:05:32,266 --> 00:05:33,598
Whoa. Is that
Prince of Persia?
150
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:36,435
We've got it all...
Castle Wolfenstein,
Lode Runner,
151
00:05:36,437 --> 00:05:39,938
Choplifter, and Ultima,
parts I, II, III, and IV.
152
00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:42,674
You have part IV?
That's the ultimate "Ultima"!
153
00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:44,776
You know your stuff.
I'm Adam, by the way.
154
00:05:44,778 --> 00:05:46,912
I'm Mike Levy.
This is also Mike Levy.
155
00:05:46,914 --> 00:05:48,080
You guys have
the same name?
156
00:05:48,082 --> 00:05:49,981
Yeah, but Mike Z.
is painfully shy,
157
00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:51,550
so it's not much
of an issue.
158
00:05:51,552 --> 00:05:55,454
I feel your pain.
There's a senior also
named Adam Goldberg.
159
00:05:55,456 --> 00:05:57,756
He's not happy
to have me around.
160
00:05:57,758 --> 00:05:58,457
(CHUCKLES) Right on.
161
00:05:58,459 --> 00:06:00,625
I'm actually pretty good
at Oregon Trail.
162
00:06:00,627 --> 00:06:02,594
ADULT ADAM:
Even though I immediately
died of dysentery,
163
00:06:02,596 --> 00:06:05,430
my mom was thrilled I found
a party to hitch my wagon to.
164
00:06:05,432 --> 00:06:09,301
Meanwhile, Erica and Barry
were blazing their own trail.
165
00:06:09,303 --> 00:06:10,001
ERICA:
Guess what we have.
166
00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:13,238
The answers to all our
answering-machine problems...
167
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:14,206
BOTH: Crazy Calls.
168
00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:16,508
I don't know what it is,
but it sounds wild.
169
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:19,311
It's a tape of professionally
recorded outgoing messages
170
00:06:19,313 --> 00:06:20,979
that represent
many musical styles.
171
00:06:20,981 --> 00:06:24,449
And it's advertised on TV,
so you know it's good.
172
00:06:24,451 --> 00:06:26,251
BARRY: Prepare yourselves.
173
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:39,431
(BEEPING)
Al, don't join into
their nonsense.
174
00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:43,168
Listen... We have
no answering-machine problems.
175
00:06:43,170 --> 00:06:44,903
My message stays.
176
00:06:44,905 --> 00:06:46,638
Please, just listen to reason.
177
00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,707
The message you recorded
is so bad,
178
00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:49,441
our friends refuse to call.
179
00:06:49,443 --> 00:06:52,644
The light is blinking.
I must be doing
something right.
180
00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:54,179
POP POP:
(ON ANSWERING MACHINE)
Hello. Is this Murray?
181
00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:56,148
What? You got a robit
taking your messages now?
182
00:06:56,150 --> 00:06:59,384
Ooh, my highfalutin' son
thinks he's better
than everyone.
183
00:06:59,386 --> 00:07:00,218
I think it's Pop Pop.
184
00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:01,686
Well, you're not.
You're a thief!
185
00:07:01,688 --> 00:07:04,523
Don't think I forgot about
that $17 you stole from me.
186
00:07:04,525 --> 00:07:07,592
Still with the $17!
I can't take this!
187
00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:08,193
(TAPE FAST-FORWARDING)
188
00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:10,262
My electric bill
was the same every month,
189
00:07:10,264 --> 00:07:11,963
but all of a sudden,
it's $17 more.
190
00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:13,732
Yeah, well, you do the math,
genius!
191
00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:15,367
He's taking up
the whole tape!
192
00:07:15,369 --> 00:07:15,967
(TAPE FAST-FORWARDING)
193
00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:17,335
I know you were upset
about your wedding toast,
194
00:07:17,337 --> 00:07:19,838
but I really thought you
preferred the company of men.
195
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:20,672
(TAPE FAST-FORWARDING)
196
00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:21,740
You were an ugly baby.
There, I said it.
197
00:07:21,742 --> 00:07:25,177
MURRAY: That's it!
Well, at least he's talking
to you. That's new.
198
00:07:25,179 --> 00:07:27,045
Oh, we will talk
but good.
199
00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:30,048
Just he and I, man to man.
200
00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:31,716
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
201
00:07:31,718 --> 00:07:33,752
Ah, you.
What do you want?
202
00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:35,887
My dad paid me $20
to set this up for you
203
00:07:35,889 --> 00:07:37,189
so you won't miss
his phone call.
204
00:07:37,191 --> 00:07:40,192
Ah, so he'll pony up
20 bucks for you,
205
00:07:40,194 --> 00:07:41,593
and still
I'm out my $17.
206
00:07:41,595 --> 00:07:44,095
I don't know, man.
Do you want
the machine or not?
207
00:07:44,097 --> 00:07:45,564
All right.
I'll take the robit,
208
00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:47,032
but only because
I like free stuff.
209
00:07:47,034 --> 00:07:48,967
ADULT ADAM:
As Erica did
my dad's dirty work,
210
00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:52,370
me and my new pals were having
some good, clean fun.
211
00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:54,639
And that, my friend,
is how you use Basic
212
00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:57,175
to program
a real-life booby.
213
00:07:57,177 --> 00:07:58,276
Whoa!
214
00:07:58,278 --> 00:08:00,545
ADAM: So lifelike.
215
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:03,348
Scram! Me and this lady
are gonna study
216
00:08:03,350 --> 00:08:05,584
for health class,
with our faces.
217
00:08:05,586 --> 00:08:07,919
No way! We're allowed
to be here at lunch.
218
00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:08,887
Mr. Glascott says.
219
00:08:08,889 --> 00:08:11,022
You're a ballsy,
little nerd, aren't you?
220
00:08:11,024 --> 00:08:12,557
Tell you what,
I'm gonna let it slide,
221
00:08:12,559 --> 00:08:16,528
but only because there's
a broom closet for us
right down the hall.
222
00:08:16,530 --> 00:08:17,696
Later, nerd losers.
223
00:08:17,698 --> 00:08:19,231
Look at them
with their nerd thermoses.
224
00:08:19,233 --> 00:08:21,967
GIRL: Like they're nerd
construction workers.
225
00:08:21,969 --> 00:08:24,102
(BOTH LAUGHING)
226
00:08:24,505 --> 00:08:27,205
Excuse me.
What did you just say
about those nerd losers?
227
00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:30,575
Uh, that they should
drink out of their
nerd thermoses?
228
00:08:30,577 --> 00:08:31,409
Glascott's office now!
229
00:08:31,411 --> 00:08:33,979
BEVERLY:
So, what kind of punishment
are we talking about here?
230
00:08:33,981 --> 00:08:37,482
Suspension, expulsion,
solitary confinement?
231
00:08:37,484 --> 00:08:40,085
Do we do that?
'Cause that's what I want.
232
00:08:40,087 --> 00:08:41,019
Yeah. You two can
go back to class,
233
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:45,123
and try not to be so accurate
with your nerd insults
next time.
234
00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:47,325
Oh, and stay out
of that broom closet.
235
00:08:47,327 --> 00:08:49,528
Yeah, that's right.
Old Glascott knows what's up!
236
00:08:49,530 --> 00:08:52,864
Why did you let them go?
They called my schmoo a nerd.
237
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:56,535
That's not on them.
That's more on your schmoo
for being one.
238
00:08:56,537 --> 00:08:59,104
Hey, only I get to call
my schmoo a schmoo.
239
00:08:59,106 --> 00:09:01,740
The point is,
Adam and his gang
of computer dorks
240
00:09:01,742 --> 00:09:03,475
don't even eat
in the lunchroom.
241
00:09:03,477 --> 00:09:06,011
That means they're not even
on the social ladder.
242
00:09:06,013 --> 00:09:07,379
You've got to do something
about this.
243
00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:10,448
If you don't help Adam,
then you have failed
as a mother.
244
00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:13,251
But that is
my greatest nightmare.
245
00:09:13,253 --> 00:09:14,586
You gotta help me.
Please.
246
00:09:14,588 --> 00:09:16,755
I told him I'd respect
his boundaries.
247
00:09:16,757 --> 00:09:18,690
Guide me.
It's what you're so good at.
248
00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:20,592
I know you're playing me
for a fool,
249
00:09:20,594 --> 00:09:23,028
but this fool
has low-grade depression.
250
00:09:23,030 --> 00:09:24,462
So... I'll bite.
251
00:09:24,464 --> 00:09:27,499
ADULT ADAM:
While my mom was plotting
to improve my social future,
252
00:09:27,501 --> 00:09:30,335
Pop Pop, was getting an earful
about his past.
253
00:09:30,337 --> 00:09:32,470
MURRAY: You want to know why
I slept with the lights on?
254
00:09:32,472 --> 00:09:35,373
'Cause you took me to see
"Psycho" when I was nine!
255
00:09:35,375 --> 00:09:40,378
You owe me $17
for a lifetime of showering
with the curtain wide open!
256
00:09:40,380 --> 00:09:42,581
Oh, you want a message?
I'll give you a message.
257
00:09:42,583 --> 00:09:44,716
I'll give you a big,
fat message in your
big, fat ears.
258
00:09:44,718 --> 00:09:47,052
POP POP:
You think someone's gonna come
after you in the shower?
259
00:09:47,054 --> 00:09:50,255
Believe me, you have nothing
anyone wants to see.
260
00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:51,222
(BEEPING)
Fine.
261
00:09:51,224 --> 00:09:52,724
You want to talk,
let's talk!
262
00:09:52,726 --> 00:09:56,828
ADULT ADAM: And, so began
the great Goldberg
answering machine war
263
00:09:56,830 --> 00:09:57,862
of 1980-something.
264
00:09:57,864 --> 00:09:58,830
MURRAY:
And you were so God-awful
265
00:09:58,832 --> 00:10:02,000
that none of my friends
ever wanted to come over
and play with me!
266
00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:04,402
POP POP:
Friends? I had to
pay the boy next door
267
00:10:04,404 --> 00:10:05,170
to be friends with you!
268
00:10:05,172 --> 00:10:06,538
So, you owe me a nickel
for that, too.
269
00:10:06,540 --> 00:10:08,440
ADULT ADAM: What began as
one simple call from Pop Pop
270
00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:12,978
quickly spiraled into
an endless volley
of very hurtful rants.
271
00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:14,212
MURRAY: There! I said it!
272
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:17,148
You're a crappy dad
and even a worse businessman!
273
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:19,184
POP POP:
You think I'm implying
you're a disappointment?
274
00:10:19,186 --> 00:10:22,687
No, no. I'm saying it loud
and clear! Disappointment!
275
00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:24,623
Again with
the farkakte machine.
276
00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:26,691
I know. He's been tying up
the phone line,
277
00:10:26,693 --> 00:10:28,927
and I can't get any
of my messages.
278
00:10:28,929 --> 00:10:29,327
What? No.
279
00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:35,233
I meant your dad and Pop Pop
might be doing serious damage
to their relationship.
280
00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:36,635
Oh, please.
They're fine.
281
00:10:36,637 --> 00:10:40,238
You are a trash heap
of a human being,
282
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:42,707
and even a worse father!
283
00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:44,776
He meant that
with love, and...
284
00:10:44,778 --> 00:10:47,479
Ah, crap.
This went bad fast.
285
00:10:48,815 --> 00:10:50,749
ADULT ADAM:
It had been a week
since the great Goldberg
286
00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:53,318
answering machine war,
and my sister was tired
287
00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,954
of not getting
any of her messages.
288
00:10:55,956 --> 00:10:57,856
ROBOTIC VOICE: Tape full.
(BEEPING)
289
00:10:57,858 --> 00:11:01,326
My God! This thing between Dad
and Pop Pop has got to stop.
290
00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:03,528
ROBOTIC VOICE:
Messages deleted.
(BEEPS)
291
00:11:03,530 --> 00:11:04,963
ADULT ADAM: Acting on her
standard selfishness,
292
00:11:04,965 --> 00:11:08,867
Erica decided to erase Pop Pop
and end the war.
293
00:11:08,869 --> 00:11:11,603
Hey, I'm home!
Nobody bother me!
294
00:11:11,605 --> 00:11:13,471
I need to check
my messages.
295
00:11:13,473 --> 00:11:16,074
ROBOTIC VOICE:
No new messages.
(BEEPS)
296
00:11:16,076 --> 00:11:17,742
Hey! Anyone call for me?
297
00:11:17,744 --> 00:11:21,179
You know, like a telemarketer,
wrong number,
298
00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:23,048
angry grandfather?
299
00:11:23,050 --> 00:11:24,783
Nope.
Okay.
300
00:11:24,785 --> 00:11:25,150
Good.
Yep.
301
00:11:25,152 --> 00:11:27,819
Very good.
Guess there's no reason
to tie up the phone lines now.
302
00:11:27,821 --> 00:11:29,521
Yep.
I mean,
no call from Pop Pop
303
00:11:29,523 --> 00:11:31,690
means you don't have
to pay him the $17.
304
00:11:31,692 --> 00:11:33,391
Yep, yep, yep.
You won.
305
00:11:33,393 --> 00:11:34,559
I won.
Yep.
306
00:11:34,561 --> 00:11:35,960
Big winner.
You won.
307
00:11:35,962 --> 00:11:37,529
Murray wins.
308
00:11:37,764 --> 00:11:40,665
And that is how you end
an answering machine war.
309
00:11:40,667 --> 00:11:44,035
Well, I guess it is best
for your father's sanity.
310
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,336
Sure, sure,
that thing.
311
00:11:45,338 --> 00:11:47,739
Also, I finally get to use
the phone again.
312
00:11:47,741 --> 00:11:50,642
Hey! What do you think
you're doing, you moron?
313
00:11:50,644 --> 00:11:51,509
Making a phone call.
314
00:11:51,511 --> 00:11:53,511
Yeah. The machine
is expecting a call.
315
00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:57,949
No one goes near this
or stands in this area. Out!
316
00:11:57,951 --> 00:11:59,651
(RECEIVER CLICKS)
317
00:11:59,653 --> 00:12:01,753
Okay. Why the hell
isn't he taking the win?
318
00:12:01,755 --> 00:12:04,422
It's like he wants Pop Pop
to call and rant at him.
319
00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:06,424
Crazy as it sounds,
I think your dad
320
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:09,994
actually liked chatting
with Pop Pop
through the machine.
321
00:12:09,996 --> 00:12:12,230
And now
that it's done...
322
00:12:12,866 --> 00:12:13,865
...he's sad.
323
00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:16,201
That's nuts.
Dad doesn't get sad.
324
00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:19,337
ROBOTIC VOICE:
No new messages.
(BEEPS)
325
00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:23,975
ROBOTIC VOICE:
No new messages.
(BEEPS)
326
00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:25,376
My God. He's sad.
327
00:12:25,378 --> 00:12:27,612
ROBOTIC VOICE:
No new messages.
(BEEPS)
328
00:12:27,614 --> 00:12:28,913
Fine.
You made your point.
329
00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:31,883
We'll get them together
and end this,
once and for all.
330
00:12:31,885 --> 00:12:33,118
ROBOTIC VOICE:
No new messages.
331
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,420
ADULT ADAM: My sister
was determined to end the war.
332
00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:39,958
Meanwhile, my mom
set off a nuclear bomb
of embarrassment at school.
333
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,392
There's the guy.
Watch out.
334
00:12:41,394 --> 00:12:42,994
It's the Fighting Quaker
of the Month.
335
00:12:42,996 --> 00:12:45,230
How is this a thing?
What's happening to me?
336
00:12:45,232 --> 00:12:46,664
What is happening is
you're being celebrated
337
00:12:46,666 --> 00:12:49,434
for your popularity
amongst your fellow students.
338
00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:50,902
And one of
the delightful spoils
339
00:12:50,904 --> 00:12:54,105
is that you get to sit
at this special table.
340
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:55,440
It's for cool kids only.
341
00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:58,710
First of all, I like eating
in the computer lab.
342
00:12:58,712 --> 00:13:01,379
Also, my mom clearly
put you up to this.
343
00:13:01,381 --> 00:13:02,981
(LAUGHS)
Popular and funny.
344
00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:05,250
Whatever. I'm going back
to my computer game.
345
00:13:05,252 --> 00:13:08,019
And I'm taking
this disaster with me.
346
00:13:09,055 --> 00:13:12,223
Where is he going?
Why isn't he sitting
at his cool new table?
347
00:13:12,225 --> 00:13:14,692
Did you screw the pooch
on this one, Andre?
348
00:13:14,694 --> 00:13:16,361
No! Probably.
349
00:13:16,363 --> 00:13:18,196
Look. If the kid
won't accept help
350
00:13:18,198 --> 00:13:20,398
from his super-cool
guidance counselor,
351
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,634
then he's just
a lost cause.
352
00:13:22,636 --> 00:13:25,737
ADULT ADAM:
But my mom
was never one to give up.
353
00:13:25,739 --> 00:13:27,705
When it came
to her little schmoo,
354
00:13:27,707 --> 00:13:31,142
she always had the drive
to succeed.
355
00:13:33,079 --> 00:13:35,647
Oh, Beverly,
you're so "Krafty".
356
00:13:35,649 --> 00:13:37,015
(LAUGHS)
357
00:13:37,017 --> 00:13:38,850
Say cheese.
358
00:13:39,586 --> 00:13:41,186
MAN: I think we found
the problem.
359
00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:44,189
Looks like someone
wanted a little cheese
with their Apple.
360
00:13:44,191 --> 00:13:46,291
Nailed it.
BALL: Oh, come on.
361
00:13:46,293 --> 00:13:48,927
The sign clearly states
no food in here.
362
00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:52,630
You kids know the rules.
You are banned
for lunch hours.
363
00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:54,032
But where are we
supposed to go?
364
00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:56,334
In the cafeteria
with the normals.
365
00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:58,236
Yeah, I said it.
366
00:13:58,238 --> 00:13:59,470
Come on.
I'll cut you a check.
367
00:13:59,472 --> 00:14:02,273
No! You can't send us back
in the wild!
368
00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:03,908
We've been domesticated.
369
00:14:03,910 --> 00:14:04,542
Guys, guys, guys.
370
00:14:04,544 --> 00:14:07,812
I think the silver lining here
is that Mike Z. talked.
371
00:14:07,814 --> 00:14:09,414
You shut it!
Shut it, Goldberg!
372
00:14:09,416 --> 00:14:11,716
You know, it's kind of funny
how the drive got cheese
373
00:14:11,718 --> 00:14:14,118
just after you
joined our crew.
374
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:16,754
Mike, Mike, it's me.
375
00:14:16,756 --> 00:14:18,323
I... I wouldn't
cheese the drive.
376
00:14:18,325 --> 00:14:20,758
Well, me and Mike Levy
are kosher.
Way of life!
377
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:23,328
And Rog, Mink, and Alvie
are lactose-intolerant.
378
00:14:23,330 --> 00:14:25,196
Come at me!
But every day,
379
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:28,132
you eat the same turkey
and cheese sandwich.
380
00:14:28,134 --> 00:14:28,733
Get some!
381
00:14:28,735 --> 00:14:32,136
That is the lunch
my mom always makes me.
382
00:14:33,607 --> 00:14:34,672
Mom!
383
00:14:34,674 --> 00:14:35,406
(CROWD GROANS)
384
00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:38,142
Boy, Al, we are lucky
to get these seats.
385
00:14:38,144 --> 00:14:39,677
Yep. Pure luck.
386
00:14:39,679 --> 00:14:41,379
Oh, look who it is!
387
00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:44,515
Hey, is that Pops and Father
over there?
388
00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:48,152
Well, this is a very
unplanned coincidence.
389
00:14:48,154 --> 00:14:48,786
Damn it.
Damn it.
390
00:14:48,788 --> 00:14:51,689
Hey, now you two can talk
in person like normal humans.
391
00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:52,790
Pop Pop,
let's trade seats.
392
00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:54,692
That is a crap trade,
and you know it.
393
00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:55,493
Mur, sit here.
394
00:14:55,495 --> 00:14:57,428
I'm fine here on the end.
Thank you.
395
00:14:57,430 --> 00:15:00,398
Hey, Bar, tell Murray to flag
down the soft pretzel guy.
396
00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,701
Erica, tell Pops to tell Dad,
Pop Pop wants a pretzel.
397
00:15:03,703 --> 00:15:09,374
Um, Pops, tell Dad that
Pop Pop would appreciate it
if he bought him a pretzel.
398
00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:11,843
Murray,
buy your dad a pretzel.
399
00:15:11,845 --> 00:15:14,579
Tell him to buy
his own damn pretzel!
400
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:15,380
No go, Erica.
401
00:15:15,382 --> 00:15:18,416
Barry, Dad kindly declines
the pretzel purchasing.
402
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:21,252
Pop Pop, Dad said to get bent
and buy your own.
403
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:22,720
I wasn't asking
for a free pretzel.
404
00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:25,757
Tell that ungrateful bastard
he still owes me $17.
405
00:15:25,759 --> 00:15:26,557
He can take it
out of my tab.
406
00:15:26,559 --> 00:15:30,094
Erica, Pop Pop said
Dad's a bastard,
and he wants a Tab.
407
00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:32,130
Pops, Pop Pop wants
a diet soda.
408
00:15:32,132 --> 00:15:35,233
Murray, will you
buy your dad a diet soda?
409
00:15:35,235 --> 00:15:38,036
At the very least,
it'll calm him down.
410
00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:38,269
Fine!
411
00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:43,441
Excuse me. Let me get
a pretzel and a Tab
for the old guy on the end.
412
00:15:43,877 --> 00:15:46,244
Here.
Here.
413
00:15:46,246 --> 00:15:47,979
Here.
Here.
414
00:15:47,981 --> 00:15:49,380
What the (BLEEP)
is this!
415
00:15:49,382 --> 00:15:50,648
I don't drink ladies' soda.
416
00:15:50,650 --> 00:15:51,783
Where's my pretzel?
417
00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:53,484
It appears Dad
is eating it.
418
00:15:53,486 --> 00:15:54,852
You give your father
a message,
419
00:15:54,854 --> 00:15:56,354
and you tell him
every single word.
420
00:15:56,356 --> 00:15:58,990
ADULT ADAM:
Yep. Dad and Pop Pop
were finally talking.
421
00:15:58,992 --> 00:16:01,392
Only problem,
they were using their family
422
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:03,995
as their telephone
and answering machine.
423
00:16:03,997 --> 00:16:04,696
That's right.
424
00:16:04,698 --> 00:16:07,398
This woman cheesed
the drive, not us. Her!
425
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:09,200
Whoa!
That's a harsh accusation
426
00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:11,869
against a faculty member
who's here one day a week.
427
00:16:11,871 --> 00:16:13,438
It's true. She cheesed it.
428
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:15,773
It's her signature
culinary move.
429
00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:17,542
Beverly, do you have
anything to say?
430
00:16:17,544 --> 00:16:19,243
I vehemently deny
cheesing the drive
431
00:16:19,245 --> 00:16:20,678
under cover of darkness
when no one was here.
432
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:24,182
She said "vehemently."
That's a big word.
So I have to believe her.
433
00:16:24,184 --> 00:16:25,917
Fine. If she's
not gonna own up to it,
434
00:16:25,919 --> 00:16:30,221
then I'd like to log
an official complaint
against this teacher, sir.
435
00:16:30,223 --> 00:16:30,888
You mean your mom?
436
00:16:30,890 --> 00:16:32,590
She's been harassing
one of the students.
437
00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:34,058
You?
I don't see you writing!
438
00:16:34,060 --> 00:16:35,526
Don't write it down, Andre.
439
00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:36,394
Write it down, Andre!
440
00:16:36,396 --> 00:16:38,229
Report the snuggies
and the kisses,
441
00:16:38,231 --> 00:16:40,064
both butterfly
and Eskimo.
442
00:16:40,066 --> 00:16:41,699
You Eskimo'd
on school grounds?
443
00:16:41,701 --> 00:16:44,369
Ooh! I gotta write it.
I just have to.
444
00:16:44,371 --> 00:16:46,838
School grounds or not,
I am your mother,
445
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:49,374
and I have the legal right
to snug, squish,
446
00:16:49,376 --> 00:16:52,410
and kiss you like we're in
an igloo as much as I want.
447
00:16:52,412 --> 00:16:54,812
According to the school
handbook, you really don't.
448
00:16:54,814 --> 00:16:57,915
Oh, so it's almost as if
there are boundaries
449
00:16:57,917 --> 00:16:59,550
that no one can cross.
450
00:16:59,552 --> 00:17:02,487
Check and mate.
He's got you there, lady.
451
00:17:02,489 --> 00:17:03,888
Adam, I just wanted you...
452
00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:05,490
Bup, bup, bup!
Boundaries!
453
00:17:05,492 --> 00:17:06,557
You expect me
to just sit...
454
00:17:06,559 --> 00:17:08,026
Bup, bup! Boundaries!
I just want...
455
00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:09,961
Just give...
Bup, bup, bup, bup!
Bup, bup, bup, bup!
456
00:17:09,963 --> 00:17:11,662
I want... But I...
Bup, bup, bup! Bup!
457
00:17:11,664 --> 00:17:13,831
I really think he wants you
to respect his...
458
00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:14,966
I know what he wants!
459
00:17:14,968 --> 00:17:18,803
You know,
I was actually happy
in the computer lab.
460
00:17:18,805 --> 00:17:21,072
Those guys accepted me.
461
00:17:21,074 --> 00:17:22,840
You always say
you want to help,
462
00:17:22,842 --> 00:17:25,943
but you just end up
ruining everything.
463
00:17:31,251 --> 00:17:33,951
ADULT ADAM:
Realizing she'd made
a mess of my social life,
464
00:17:33,953 --> 00:17:36,487
my mom knew it was time
to clean things up.
465
00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:39,590
Not so fast, Atkins. This is
a random locker search.
466
00:17:39,592 --> 00:17:41,793
If it's random, why are you
targeting the guy
467
00:17:41,795 --> 00:17:46,364
most likely to have a doobie
hidden in his locker behind
a Trapper Keeper?
468
00:17:46,366 --> 00:17:47,532
Ah, nards.
469
00:17:47,534 --> 00:17:49,300
Principal's office.
Now.
470
00:17:49,302 --> 00:17:50,268
This is so unfair!
471
00:17:50,270 --> 00:17:54,105
It is, which is why
I'll offer you a plea bargain.
472
00:17:54,107 --> 00:17:56,007
You take the fall
for cheesing the drive,
473
00:17:56,009 --> 00:17:57,508
and this all goes away.
474
00:17:57,510 --> 00:17:58,576
I don't know
what you just said,
475
00:17:58,578 --> 00:18:01,946
and maybe that's 'cause
I've been hitting
my Trapper Keeper,
476
00:18:01,948 --> 00:18:02,447
but I'm in.
477
00:18:02,449 --> 00:18:04,515
You also have to stop
making fun of my son.
478
00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:05,983
Done. Who is he?
479
00:18:05,985 --> 00:18:06,717
Adam.
Adam who?
480
00:18:06,719 --> 00:18:09,353
You know, the freshman.
You call him a nerd loser.
481
00:18:09,355 --> 00:18:11,255
That narrows it down
to like 40 dudes.
482
00:18:11,257 --> 00:18:13,191
The one with the dimples
and the glasses.
483
00:18:13,193 --> 00:18:15,593
He looks like a model.
He plays with computers.
484
00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:17,428
Oh-oh!
That nerd loser.
485
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:18,663
Sure.
I'll leave him alone.
486
00:18:18,665 --> 00:18:21,365
Hey, little bro.
How's it hangin'?
487
00:18:21,534 --> 00:18:23,034
That's not my son.
488
00:18:23,036 --> 00:18:24,836
Beat it, dork! Scram!
489
00:18:24,838 --> 00:18:28,539
Ugh! I can't believe my arm
just touched a nerd.
490
00:18:29,843 --> 00:18:31,275
Getting rid
of the answering machine?
491
00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:34,245
Stupid piece of crap.
Caused nothing but problems.
492
00:18:34,247 --> 00:18:35,413
Don't throw it away.
493
00:18:35,415 --> 00:18:39,350
Pop Pop did call back,
but I erased the tape.
494
00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:40,618
Why would you do that?
495
00:18:40,620 --> 00:18:41,853
Because you were
hogging the phone,
496
00:18:41,855 --> 00:18:44,188
talking to your dad
but not actually talking.
497
00:18:44,190 --> 00:18:47,692
And then I realized
not talking is how you talk.
498
00:18:47,694 --> 00:18:49,994
Look. That's why
we ambushed you at the game.
499
00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:52,230
I thought maybe you guys
would like to talk for real,
500
00:18:52,232 --> 00:18:55,766
but if you like
your machine better,
then I won't stop you.
501
00:18:55,768 --> 00:18:59,470
You know me and my dad.
We never were big talkers.
502
00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:00,671
Well...
503
00:19:00,673 --> 00:19:01,839
Maybe it's time to try.
504
00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:04,375
(DON HENLEY'S "THE HEART
OF THE MATTER" PLAYS)
505
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:07,245
You!
Yeah. I was gonna call,
506
00:19:07,247 --> 00:19:10,348
but then I thought,
I don't know,
I'd just come over.
507
00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:14,585
What for?
I brought you $17
worth of soft pretzels.
508
00:19:14,587 --> 00:19:16,487
I wanted the money in cash.
509
00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:19,490
But the game's on.
510
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:22,593
You could come in
and, uh, watch.
511
00:19:23,429 --> 00:19:25,930
Sure.
I got nothing better to do.
512
00:19:26,966 --> 00:19:30,101
Lucky for you boys, the real
culprit stepped forward.
513
00:19:30,103 --> 00:19:34,172
The lab's all yours again.
Don't make crumbs.
514
00:19:34,174 --> 00:19:35,072
(BOYS CHEERING)
515
00:19:35,074 --> 00:19:37,642
Hey, sorry we blamed you
for cheesing the drive.
516
00:19:37,644 --> 00:19:41,179
It's cool. I'm just glad
we're back where we belong.
517
00:19:41,181 --> 00:19:43,981
ADULT ADAM:
From that point on,
I couldn't wait for lunchtime.
518
00:19:43,983 --> 00:19:48,819
And it was all thanks
to someone who cared
a little too much.
519
00:19:49,222 --> 00:19:51,155
Hey.
Heard the good news.
520
00:19:51,157 --> 00:19:53,824
Stop. I know
you fixed this for me,
521
00:19:53,826 --> 00:19:56,794
but wouldn't you say
framing a kid
522
00:19:56,796 --> 00:19:59,697
kind of crosses
every boundary ever?
523
00:19:59,699 --> 00:20:01,365
God, you're right.
524
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:04,802
I am horrible
with boundaries, boopie.
525
00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:07,705
But I'll try to do better.
526
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:10,608
Well, I'll let
this one time slide.
527
00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:15,079
But, to be clear,
the "no snuggling"
policy still stands.
528
00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:20,084
ADULT ADAM: In that moment,
I realized that I had a mother
529
00:20:20,086 --> 00:20:23,254
who would cross
any boundary for me.
530
00:20:25,291 --> 00:20:25,690
Starting now.
531
00:20:25,692 --> 00:20:29,794
ADULT ADAM: And that made me
the luckiest kid in the world.
532
00:20:29,796 --> 00:20:31,262
There's too much salt
on the pretzels.
533
00:20:31,264 --> 00:20:34,165
What are you talking about?
Salt makes the pretzel.
534
00:20:34,167 --> 00:20:34,632
Salt makes you die.
535
00:20:34,634 --> 00:20:37,668
ADULT ADAM:
'Cause, at the end of the day,
walls need to be broken,
536
00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:40,338
and boundaries need
to be crossed...
Yeah!
537
00:20:40,340 --> 00:20:43,241
...in order for love
to get through.
538
00:20:47,347 --> 00:20:49,380
(SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY)
539
00:20:49,382 --> 00:20:51,148
(DINGS)
540
00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:56,621
BARRY: Hi.
You've reached the Goldbergs.
541
00:20:56,623 --> 00:20:57,955
Leave a message.
(BEEPS)
542
00:20:57,957 --> 00:20:59,490
Hey. I got a flat tire,
and I need...
543
00:20:59,492 --> 00:21:02,393
Ha! It's not the answering
machine, you dumb idiot!
544
00:21:02,395 --> 00:21:04,028
It's actually me... Barry.
545
00:21:04,030 --> 00:21:05,796
(SIGHS)
It's me. I need Dad...
546
00:21:05,798 --> 00:21:09,100
Gotcha again! It is
the answering machine.
547
00:21:09,102 --> 00:21:09,900
Leave a message.
(BEEPS)
548
00:21:09,902 --> 00:21:12,303
Damn it! I've got a flat tire,
and I need Dad...
549
00:21:12,305 --> 00:21:14,772
No, it's actually me,
Barry, for real.
550
00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:15,539
So, what's the deal?
551
00:21:15,541 --> 00:21:17,842
Barry, I will kill you!
Put Dad on the...
552
00:21:17,844 --> 00:21:20,645
But, seriously,
leave a message at the beep.
553
00:21:20,647 --> 00:21:22,146
(BEEPS)
554
00:21:26,052 --> 00:21:27,385
Dad, I've got a flat...
555
00:21:27,387 --> 00:21:30,888
Oh, my God.
You're a dumb sack of crap.