1 00:00:00,067 --> 00:00:01,467 ADULT ADAM: Ah, the last week of school. 2 00:00:01,469 --> 00:00:03,969 It's a truly magical feeling of impending freedom 3 00:00:03,971 --> 00:00:07,740 as the entire student body unites in not giving a crap. 4 00:00:07,742 --> 00:00:10,075 Even the teachers were checked out. 5 00:00:10,077 --> 00:00:11,577 All right, stop your stretching. 6 00:00:11,579 --> 00:00:13,512 We're gonna watch the movie Bloodsport. 7 00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:14,346 Not that I'm complaining, 8 00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:16,081 but isn't that, like, wildly inappropriate 9 00:00:16,083 --> 00:00:17,816 and has nothing to do with gym class? 10 00:00:17,818 --> 00:00:19,818 "Sports" are in the title. Leave me alone. 11 00:00:19,820 --> 00:00:22,621 I got nothing left to give you kids! 12 00:00:22,623 --> 00:00:23,522 You did this to me! 13 00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:24,857 ADULT ADAM: But for all us eighth graders, 14 00:00:24,859 --> 00:00:27,026 the last week of school meant one thing. 15 00:00:27,028 --> 00:00:28,727 All right, boys and girls, 16 00:00:28,729 --> 00:00:31,430 today begins Freshman Fear Week. 17 00:00:31,432 --> 00:00:32,364 (STUDENTS GASP) 18 00:00:32,366 --> 00:00:34,266 This is when upperclassmen 19 00:00:34,268 --> 00:00:37,469 hunt down terrified incoming ninth graders 20 00:00:37,471 --> 00:00:38,837 and throw them in the showers. 21 00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:40,506 Did he say "hunt"? Balls! 22 00:00:40,508 --> 00:00:42,041 No! I made it through middle school 23 00:00:42,043 --> 00:00:43,242 without using those showers! 24 00:00:43,244 --> 00:00:46,011 ADULT ADAM: Back in the '80s, school policy on cruel hazing traditions... 25 00:00:46,013 --> 00:00:48,347 (CHUCKLING) Oh, yeah. ...tended to be a tad more lax. 26 00:00:48,349 --> 00:00:49,948 I swear, one day, they'll realize 27 00:00:49,950 --> 00:00:51,950 this whole practice is completely barbaric. 28 00:00:51,952 --> 00:00:54,019 You will never live to see that day! 29 00:00:54,021 --> 00:00:57,256 But you're my brother. You're supposed to protect me. 30 00:00:57,258 --> 00:00:57,890 Opposite! 31 00:00:57,892 --> 00:01:00,459 I've been training for this my whole life. 32 00:01:00,461 --> 00:01:03,695 Every headlock, noogie, and wet willy 33 00:01:03,697 --> 00:01:04,530 has led to this moment. 34 00:01:04,532 --> 00:01:06,498 There has to be a way out of this. 35 00:01:06,500 --> 00:01:09,068 There is, but it's not pretty. 36 00:01:09,070 --> 00:01:11,470 Mama! Barry's gonna hurt me! 37 00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:12,538 I'm here, schmoo. 38 00:01:12,540 --> 00:01:13,272 He's gonna hunt me down 39 00:01:13,274 --> 00:01:15,774 and throw me into the gross gym showers! No! 40 00:01:15,776 --> 00:01:16,308 Yes! No! 41 00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:17,576 And then he's gonna rip my shoes off 42 00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:19,511 and make me touch the floor without flip-flops! 43 00:01:19,513 --> 00:01:22,381 You're not athletic enough to get athlete's foot! 44 00:01:22,383 --> 00:01:23,348 Help me! I'm just a boy! 45 00:01:23,350 --> 00:01:24,983 (GASPS) I got you, baby. 46 00:01:24,985 --> 00:01:27,386 Oh, God! No, I don't. (THUD) 47 00:01:27,388 --> 00:01:28,554 ¶ I'm twisted up inside 48 00:01:28,556 --> 00:01:32,991 ¶ But nonetheless I feel the need to say 49 00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:35,828 ¶ I don't know the future 50 00:01:35,830 --> 00:01:40,065 ¶ But the past keeps getting clearer every day ¶ 51 00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:42,367 ADULT ADAM: It was June 2, 1980-something, 52 00:01:42,369 --> 00:01:43,702 the end of the school year, 53 00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:46,638 a moment that would live in time forever. 54 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:47,139 Hey, guys. 55 00:01:47,141 --> 00:01:49,608 Still looking for contributions for the time capsule. 56 00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:52,411 So far, we've got one Hall & Oates poster, 57 00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:52,978 put in by me. 58 00:01:52,980 --> 00:01:54,413 I'm gonna put in a naked picture of myself 59 00:01:54,415 --> 00:01:58,050 so I can look back and say, "Yeah, Naked Rob had it." 60 00:01:58,052 --> 00:01:59,852 I'm gonna put myself in there. 61 00:01:59,854 --> 00:02:01,687 Boom! Livin' in the future. 62 00:02:01,689 --> 00:02:04,890 Dude, it's a time capsule, not a time machine. 63 00:02:04,892 --> 00:02:06,191 Right? 64 00:02:06,193 --> 00:02:06,825 You're funny 65 00:02:06,827 --> 00:02:10,662 and have trouble making eye contact with girls. 66 00:02:10,664 --> 00:02:11,163 I like it. 67 00:02:11,165 --> 00:02:13,866 All except for the haircut and the posture, but I can fix that. 68 00:02:13,868 --> 00:02:16,502 Thanks, I think? Hey, Erica! 69 00:02:16,504 --> 00:02:16,902 Oh! 70 00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:18,170 You want to sign my yearbook? 71 00:02:18,172 --> 00:02:20,339 I saved you precious real estate right next to my face. 72 00:02:20,341 --> 00:02:20,772 Fine. 73 00:02:20,774 --> 00:02:22,407 Yeah, you know, if you need some more time with it, 74 00:02:22,409 --> 00:02:23,375 you could just give it back to me. 75 00:02:23,377 --> 00:02:25,077 Okay, you're done. "Have a summer." 76 00:02:25,079 --> 00:02:27,179 Did you mean, like, "good summer" or... 77 00:02:27,181 --> 00:02:30,449 Or "bitchin' summer" or... Or "sexy summer"? 78 00:02:30,451 --> 00:02:32,151 Just "summer." 79 00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:35,454 Do you think she meant it like "Have a summer" 80 00:02:35,456 --> 00:02:36,788 or "Have a summer"? 81 00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:38,257 Dude, you got to let this go. 82 00:02:38,259 --> 00:02:40,159 Yeah, don't be such a Duckie. Such a what? 83 00:02:40,161 --> 00:02:42,961 Duckie, the twerpy, lovesick best friend 84 00:02:42,963 --> 00:02:44,663 who never gets Molly Ringwald. 85 00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:45,564 That's you, bro. 86 00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:46,465 (BLOWS RASPBERRY) Please! 87 00:02:46,467 --> 00:02:47,633 If I'm anyone from Pretty in Pink, 88 00:02:47,635 --> 00:02:49,401 it's feather-haired bad boy James Spader. 89 00:02:49,403 --> 00:02:51,103 That is delusional. Get to know yourself, bro. 90 00:02:51,105 --> 00:02:55,374 Geoffrey, Andrew, Robert, I need to speak to my child. 91 00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:56,308 She's using our proper first names. 92 00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:58,677 Move it. It's scary 'cause she said "Andrew." 93 00:02:58,679 --> 00:02:59,778 What? I didn't even do anything! 94 00:02:59,780 --> 00:03:03,448 Adam says you're gonna haze and humiliate him at school? 95 00:03:03,450 --> 00:03:05,050 Oh, that. Yeah, that's happening. 96 00:03:05,052 --> 00:03:05,984 Like heck it is! 97 00:03:05,986 --> 00:03:08,187 You lay one finger on my baby... 98 00:03:08,189 --> 00:03:11,290 You mean the pubescent monster standing next to you? 99 00:03:11,292 --> 00:03:14,293 Take a look at him, Ma. He's all grown up now. 100 00:03:14,295 --> 00:03:18,063 That is not the, uh... 101 00:03:18,065 --> 00:03:20,265 No, that's not... 102 00:03:22,436 --> 00:03:23,936 Is this true? 103 00:03:23,938 --> 00:03:25,938 No! Look at me! 104 00:03:25,940 --> 00:03:27,005 Actually, don't. 105 00:03:27,007 --> 00:03:30,175 Uh, close your eyes and imagine me from last year. 106 00:03:30,177 --> 00:03:31,577 Oh, my God! He's right. 107 00:03:31,579 --> 00:03:33,478 My baby is going to high school. 108 00:03:33,480 --> 00:03:36,348 No! Stop reeling at the passage of time! 109 00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:37,282 Protect me! 110 00:03:37,284 --> 00:03:38,083 Your voice! 111 00:03:38,085 --> 00:03:40,452 I'm just now hearing it for the first time. 112 00:03:40,454 --> 00:03:44,556 It's like the last gasp of an old helium balloon. 113 00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:46,058 (SOFTLY) No. 114 00:03:46,060 --> 00:03:46,658 Oh, yes. 115 00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:50,662 I just broke Mom's spirit, so now I can shower you. 116 00:03:50,664 --> 00:03:51,830 Get ready, bro. 117 00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:53,832 Shhhhhh! 118 00:03:53,968 --> 00:03:55,000 Why are you shushing me? 119 00:03:55,002 --> 00:03:57,102 That's not a shush. That's a shower sound. 120 00:03:57,104 --> 00:04:00,205 What are you talking about? This is a shower sound. 121 00:04:00,207 --> 00:04:00,872 Kwwwwwwwhhhhh! 122 00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:04,142 That's the ocean, bro. A shower sounds like this. 123 00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:04,743 Shhhhhh! 124 00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:06,612 You're making a fool out of yourself! 125 00:04:06,614 --> 00:04:07,980 Listen to me. Listen. 126 00:04:07,982 --> 00:04:09,414 Kwwwwaaahhhhhhh! Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! 127 00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,383 Kwwwwaaahhhhhhh! Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! 128 00:04:11,385 --> 00:04:14,453 Kwwwwaaahhhhhhh! Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! 129 00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:16,588 (SNIFFING DEEPLY) Oh. 130 00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:17,623 Hi. Hello. 131 00:04:17,625 --> 00:04:21,159 Don't mind me. I'm just having some Bev time. 132 00:04:21,161 --> 00:04:22,327 (SNIFFS) 133 00:04:22,329 --> 00:04:24,062 Do you mind closing the door, please? 134 00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:27,532 Mur? Your wife is sitting in the broom closet, 135 00:04:27,534 --> 00:04:28,667 sniffing a baby blanket. 136 00:04:28,669 --> 00:04:29,868 That's her thing. She sits in there 137 00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:33,238 and sniffs them to remind her of when our children were babies 138 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:34,306 and not the worst. 139 00:04:34,308 --> 00:04:35,107 And that doesn't bother you? 140 00:04:35,109 --> 00:04:37,576 What do I know? I'm just the husband. 141 00:04:37,578 --> 00:04:39,578 (SIGHS) Fine. 142 00:04:39,580 --> 00:04:41,947 (SNIFFING DEEPLY) 143 00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:43,282 (SIGHS) 144 00:04:43,284 --> 00:04:44,016 That's good blankie. 145 00:04:44,018 --> 00:04:47,686 Bevy, I know it's hard with Adam going into high school, 146 00:04:47,688 --> 00:04:51,256 but you can't hide here in the closet forever. 147 00:04:51,258 --> 00:04:53,292 (SIGHS) You're right. 148 00:04:53,294 --> 00:04:55,327 Just... Just take this thing 149 00:04:55,329 --> 00:04:57,296 and put it where I can never find it. 150 00:04:57,298 --> 00:04:58,363 It's time to let go. 151 00:04:58,365 --> 00:05:00,599 It doesn't appear like you are. I'm letting go. 152 00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:02,934 I shouldn't have to struggle like this. 153 00:05:02,936 --> 00:05:03,769 Set me free. 154 00:05:03,771 --> 00:05:04,569 Al! Will you help me? 155 00:05:04,571 --> 00:05:06,505 She's got superhuman strength! 156 00:05:06,507 --> 00:05:08,674 Take it! I'm handing it over. 157 00:05:08,676 --> 00:05:11,443 She's got the forearms of a tennis pro. 158 00:05:11,445 --> 00:05:12,544 Take the blankie. 159 00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:13,912 Put your back into it. 160 00:05:13,914 --> 00:05:14,646 Cure me of my sickness. 161 00:05:14,648 --> 00:05:17,115 ADULT ADAM: As my mom was losing her safety blanket, 162 00:05:17,117 --> 00:05:19,618 my friends and I were living in danger. 163 00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:20,786 Are you okay, Taz? 164 00:05:20,788 --> 00:05:23,021 No, man! I'm so wet, I'm so cold. 165 00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:24,523 They didn't even give me a towel. 166 00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:26,391 If they can throw Taz Money in the showers, 167 00:05:26,393 --> 00:05:27,125 there's no hope for us! 168 00:05:27,127 --> 00:05:30,162 We just have to come up with a plan before the bell rings. 169 00:05:30,164 --> 00:05:31,596 It's too late! 170 00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:32,664 Shhh! Shhh! 171 00:05:32,666 --> 00:05:33,932 DAVE KIM: Why is he shushing us? 172 00:05:33,934 --> 00:05:37,636 No matter what happens, we go down together. 173 00:05:37,638 --> 00:05:38,303 For sure. 174 00:05:38,305 --> 00:05:39,338 (BELL RINGS) No! 175 00:05:39,340 --> 00:05:40,238 Take him, not me! 176 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:42,074 ADULT ADAM: It was every man for himself. 177 00:05:42,076 --> 00:05:42,841 We tried to escape, 178 00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:45,544 but that day, we faced the greatest shower ambush 179 00:05:45,546 --> 00:05:46,578 the eighth grade had ever seen! 180 00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:48,814 DAVE KIM: No! Wait! No showers! 181 00:05:48,816 --> 00:05:52,517 My turtlenecks shrink when they get wet! 182 00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:55,520 Those next 10 seconds lasted an eternity 183 00:05:55,522 --> 00:05:57,923 as my friends were picked off one by one. 184 00:05:57,925 --> 00:05:58,490 TAZ: No! 185 00:05:58,492 --> 00:06:01,326 They even got Taz Money, again! 186 00:06:01,328 --> 00:06:02,094 No! 187 00:06:02,096 --> 00:06:02,894 Next thing I knew, 188 00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:05,697 I was facing off against my destiny. 189 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,632 Maybe it was panic. Maybe it was nerd rage. 190 00:06:07,634 --> 00:06:11,870 Maybe it was the fact that my brother had been kicking my butt my whole life. 191 00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,372 (SCREAMING) But right then, 192 00:06:13,374 --> 00:06:15,774 I said, "No more." 193 00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:21,146 (THUD) 194 00:06:21,148 --> 00:06:23,215 What the (BLEEP) 195 00:06:24,184 --> 00:06:28,320 Nice one, Goldfarb. Walk it off, Goldberg. 196 00:06:28,322 --> 00:06:30,922 Ow. Ah... 197 00:06:30,924 --> 00:06:32,691 (WHIMPERS) 198 00:06:33,761 --> 00:06:36,094 (BREATHING HEAVILY) 199 00:06:40,401 --> 00:06:42,267 What did I just do? 200 00:06:42,269 --> 00:06:45,337 You just became hot, freshman. 201 00:06:45,339 --> 00:06:45,871 That was badass. 202 00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:49,441 ADULT ADAM: In that one moment, I had done the impossible! 203 00:06:49,443 --> 00:06:50,308 I became awesome! 204 00:06:50,310 --> 00:06:53,445 Meanwhile, the school time capsule was a complete dud. 205 00:06:53,447 --> 00:06:56,882 Seriously? This is why I had a sign-up sheet! 206 00:06:56,884 --> 00:06:58,016 Why do I even bother? 207 00:06:58,018 --> 00:06:59,251 GEOFF: New Kids on the B., huh? 208 00:06:59,253 --> 00:07:02,487 You know, my nana says that I look like handsome renegade Donnie Wahlberg. 209 00:07:02,489 --> 00:07:06,858 Oh, your Nana is so sweet, but wrong. 210 00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:10,762 If you're any Donnie, you're Donny Osmond. 211 00:07:10,764 --> 00:07:13,131 Clean and non-threatening. 212 00:07:13,133 --> 00:07:14,933 I dig that. 213 00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:15,333 Thanks? 214 00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:18,236 ADULT ADAM: While our resident Duckie was still looking for love, 215 00:07:18,238 --> 00:07:22,240 my mom was on a desperate hunt for a blankie. 216 00:07:22,576 --> 00:07:23,875 What is this? 217 00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:24,743 You look insane. 218 00:07:24,745 --> 00:07:26,912 You haven't by chance seen a baby blanket, 219 00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:30,048 uh, blue, soft, precious beyond measure, 220 00:07:30,050 --> 00:07:31,349 you know, a standard blankie? 221 00:07:31,351 --> 00:07:32,284 You mean that gross, blue rag 222 00:07:32,286 --> 00:07:33,952 that smells like chickenpox and nightmare sweat? 223 00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:37,656 You shut your face-mouth! But, yes, that's the one. 224 00:07:37,825 --> 00:07:39,958 Okay, don't freak out, 225 00:07:40,494 --> 00:07:41,626 but I took it. 226 00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:42,828 Oh, no, no, no, no, no! 227 00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:44,963 I wrapped it around a New Kids plate 228 00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:46,798 and put it in a time capsule. 229 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:47,532 No! No, no, no, no, no! 230 00:07:47,534 --> 00:07:49,668 That blankie is the only thing I have 231 00:07:49,670 --> 00:07:52,103 to remember my favorite baby! 232 00:07:52,105 --> 00:07:53,505 First of all, ouch. 233 00:07:53,507 --> 00:07:55,407 But I think this is a good thing. 234 00:07:55,409 --> 00:07:58,844 Your closet time is... How do I put it? 235 00:07:58,846 --> 00:08:00,679 Sad and creepy. 236 00:08:00,681 --> 00:08:02,180 This will force you to go cold turkey. 237 00:08:02,182 --> 00:08:05,784 Or I just dig it up first thing in the morning! No. 238 00:08:05,786 --> 00:08:06,518 Yes. No way. 239 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:07,919 All people will remember all summer 240 00:08:07,921 --> 00:08:10,822 is my crazy mom digging up the school's front lawn. 241 00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:12,891 Good idea. You be my lookout. 242 00:08:12,893 --> 00:08:15,193 Don't even put that thought in your mind. 243 00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:18,363 Too late. Look in my eyes, Erica. 244 00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:19,631 It's locked in. 245 00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:20,799 Come on, I need you. 246 00:08:20,801 --> 00:08:24,336 If you do this, I promise, next year, 247 00:08:24,338 --> 00:08:27,305 I will not go storming down to the school. 248 00:08:27,307 --> 00:08:28,673 Seriously? My whole senior year 249 00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:32,644 without my crazy mom roaming the hallways like a blond ghost? 250 00:08:32,646 --> 00:08:33,678 That's what I'm promising. 251 00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:34,746 We dig during first period, 252 00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:37,349 while everyone is still half asleep in class. 253 00:08:37,351 --> 00:08:38,316 Understand? 254 00:08:38,318 --> 00:08:39,351 You have my word, boop. 255 00:08:39,353 --> 00:08:41,953 You will not humiliate me more than normal. 256 00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:45,390 ¶ We're gonna dig to get the blankie 257 00:08:45,392 --> 00:08:46,391 Okay, that's... That's enough. 258 00:08:46,393 --> 00:08:50,362 ¶ And I'm gonna sniff it 'cause it's so snuggly ¶ 259 00:08:50,364 --> 00:08:52,964 You have a serious problem. 260 00:08:53,700 --> 00:08:55,867 ADULT ADAM: There were only two days left until summer, 261 00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:59,271 and that meant one thing, nobody cared. 262 00:08:59,273 --> 00:09:02,807 Okay, your calculus teacher called in sick. 263 00:09:02,809 --> 00:09:04,009 Wish I'd have thought of it. 264 00:09:04,011 --> 00:09:06,711 So we're gonna watch a math-based movie, 265 00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:08,547 Cannonball Run II. 266 00:09:08,549 --> 00:09:09,481 How is that a math movie? 267 00:09:09,483 --> 00:09:12,851 "II." It's got a number in it, math. 268 00:09:12,853 --> 00:09:15,086 BEVERLY: Psst. Snuggy. 269 00:09:15,656 --> 00:09:16,454 (SIGHING) Oh. 270 00:09:16,456 --> 00:09:19,558 Mr. Coach Mellor, can I go to the bathroom? 271 00:09:21,828 --> 00:09:22,727 (WHISPERING) Hey, 272 00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:25,063 why are you going to the bathroom with a shovel? 273 00:09:25,065 --> 00:09:26,064 Oh, is this a lady thing? 274 00:09:26,066 --> 00:09:30,135 No. I got to dig up the stupid time capsule. 275 00:09:30,137 --> 00:09:31,303 Oh, no. 276 00:09:31,305 --> 00:09:31,803 I'm boned. 277 00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:34,306 I stashed a tape professing my love to Erica in that time capsule 278 00:09:34,308 --> 00:09:36,374 so that our kids could hear it 30 years from now. 279 00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:37,609 Nice move, Duckie. 280 00:09:37,611 --> 00:09:38,910 I'm not Duckie! It's romantic. 281 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:40,912 I even serenade her with the power ballad 282 00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:42,080 Heat of the Moment by Asia. 283 00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,148 It's classic Duckie, bro. Yeah. 284 00:09:43,150 --> 00:09:46,351 Aw, you're right! I got to get that tape back. 285 00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:49,688 (BOTH GRUNTING) 286 00:09:49,690 --> 00:09:51,022 How are you so good at this? 287 00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:53,124 Jazzercise builds upper-body strength. 288 00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:54,426 Stop! You can't dig that up! 289 00:09:54,428 --> 00:09:56,761 You stop! We have one minute till the bell rings, 290 00:09:56,763 --> 00:09:58,029 and then everyone will see us. 291 00:09:58,031 --> 00:09:59,864 Ooh! There! I see shiny metal. 292 00:09:59,866 --> 00:10:01,533 We're one scoop away. Wait, wait, wait! 293 00:10:01,535 --> 00:10:03,902 I'll help so I can open it first! 294 00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:05,604 Uh, aah! (CLANG) 295 00:10:05,606 --> 00:10:07,505 Oh! Oh! (SCREAMING) 296 00:10:07,507 --> 00:10:08,340 D... Don't worry! 297 00:10:08,342 --> 00:10:10,809 I'll... I'll plug it with my body! 298 00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:12,611 (SCREAMING) 299 00:10:12,613 --> 00:10:13,979 Erica, save me! 300 00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:14,679 Geoff! 301 00:10:14,681 --> 00:10:16,581 My tummy's drowning! 302 00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:17,382 Oh, my God! 303 00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:19,317 BALL: Beverly Goldberg. 304 00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:21,319 My office, now! 305 00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:23,488 May I ask what this is regarding? 306 00:10:23,490 --> 00:10:24,389 (GEOFF SCREAMING) 307 00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:27,425 ADULT ADAM: As my mom and sister were flooding the front of the school, 308 00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:31,496 Barry was drowning in embarrassment from my epic body slam. 309 00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:33,164 Hey, man, how's your back? 310 00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:35,100 A little sore, but I'm on the mend. 311 00:10:35,102 --> 00:10:35,734 Thanks for asking. 312 00:10:35,736 --> 00:10:37,936 That wasn't concern. That was ridicule. 313 00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:40,805 Ha! You got flipped on your ass like a turtle. 314 00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:41,406 (LAUGHS) 315 00:10:41,408 --> 00:10:44,609 JTP, I need your counsel immediately. 316 00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:47,912 Um, is it cool if we talk after school, 317 00:10:47,914 --> 00:10:49,748 or later this summer? 318 00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:50,382 Yeah, the thing is, 319 00:10:50,384 --> 00:10:52,651 you got body-slammed by a middle schooler, 320 00:10:52,653 --> 00:10:54,919 which makes you lower than a freshman now, 321 00:10:54,921 --> 00:10:57,322 so we have to keep our distance. 322 00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:57,789 You get it. 323 00:10:57,791 --> 00:11:01,626 You guys can't blow me off. I'm your leader. JTP! 324 00:11:05,098 --> 00:11:05,664 What the hell? 325 00:11:05,666 --> 00:11:07,799 You're supposed to automatically repeat "JTP." 326 00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:10,368 Has the entire school turned on me? 327 00:11:10,370 --> 00:11:11,202 We need to talk. 328 00:11:11,204 --> 00:11:12,771 Oh, God, you're breaking up with me. 329 00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:13,905 No, of course not. Yet. 330 00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:16,641 We just need to undo what happened. Right. Easy. 331 00:11:16,643 --> 00:11:17,976 So, just lure Adam into a public space 332 00:11:17,978 --> 00:11:20,645 and dispense a swift beatdown for all to see. 333 00:11:20,647 --> 00:11:22,180 Done. Quick question. 334 00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:23,481 Is there anything else I can do 335 00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:26,017 that doesn't require me going near him? Why? 336 00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:29,888 I'm, like... How would you put it? 337 00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:32,123 Very afraid of him. 338 00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:33,124 Adam, your nerdy brother, 339 00:11:33,126 --> 00:11:36,027 who dives for cover when someone pops a balloon? 340 00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:37,796 Correct. 341 00:11:38,131 --> 00:11:38,630 This is a lot. 342 00:11:38,632 --> 00:11:41,099 ADULT ADAM: As Barry was facing his cold, dark future, 343 00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:43,601 my sister was feeling the heat. 344 00:11:43,603 --> 00:11:44,736 Congrats. Your little stunt 345 00:11:44,738 --> 00:11:48,106 broke the water line leading to the locker room. 346 00:11:48,108 --> 00:11:52,043 You ruined both Freshman Fear Week 347 00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:53,044 and a timeless tradition 348 00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:55,146 started by the great William Penn himself, 349 00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:59,250 who, after he founded this institution in 1689, 350 00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:02,687 immediately threw a freshman into the showers! 351 00:12:02,689 --> 00:12:04,089 (CLEARS THROAT) 352 00:12:04,091 --> 00:12:07,225 Oh, yeah, and, uh, there are some people 353 00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:10,829 who are also very upset about their pet project. 354 00:12:10,831 --> 00:12:11,563 Yes, I am upset. 355 00:12:11,565 --> 00:12:15,033 Everything in the time capsule was completely ruined. 356 00:12:15,035 --> 00:12:15,700 Yes! 357 00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:17,802 Oh, everything except this one thing. 358 00:12:17,804 --> 00:12:18,269 No! 359 00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:20,505 We should throw that away just to be fair. 360 00:12:20,507 --> 00:12:21,306 Oh, I think this is for you. 361 00:12:21,308 --> 00:12:26,311 "For future wife Erica Schwartz. Love, your future hubby"? 362 00:12:26,313 --> 00:12:27,579 Really, dude? 363 00:12:27,581 --> 00:12:28,179 Aww. Awkward. 364 00:12:28,181 --> 00:12:30,915 Geoff, for the millionth time, I don't like you that way, 365 00:12:30,917 --> 00:12:34,152 not now, not in the future, not ever. 366 00:12:34,154 --> 00:12:36,087 So I really am the Duckie. 367 00:12:36,089 --> 00:12:38,089 The dork from Pretty in Pink? 368 00:12:38,091 --> 00:12:42,327 Yes, that's a great example. That's exactly who you are. 369 00:12:42,329 --> 00:12:44,429 I think Duckie's cute. 370 00:12:44,431 --> 00:12:44,929 Thanks. 371 00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:48,199 Okay, this conversation's gotten away from me. 372 00:12:48,201 --> 00:12:49,334 Let's just wrap it up. 373 00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:52,036 Both of you are suspended for the day. 374 00:12:52,038 --> 00:12:52,937 Called your parents. 375 00:12:52,939 --> 00:12:54,339 They're on their way to pick you up. 376 00:12:54,341 --> 00:12:56,040 Message received. Come on, schmoo. 377 00:12:56,042 --> 00:12:58,176 Buh-buh-buh-bip! I called your husband. 378 00:12:58,178 --> 00:13:00,645 I'm suspending you from parenting for the day. 379 00:13:00,647 --> 00:13:04,182 Nice try, but Murray won't care unless money's involved. 380 00:13:04,184 --> 00:13:06,251 Here's the bill. 381 00:13:06,453 --> 00:13:11,022 Are you kidding me? 600 bucks for a broken pipe? 382 00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:15,393 Well, the headline here is, I saved Blankie. 383 00:13:15,395 --> 00:13:15,894 (CHUCKLES) 384 00:13:15,896 --> 00:13:18,596 Sure, it's lost its Adam smell, but I'll just recharge it. 385 00:13:18,598 --> 00:13:20,331 You can't recharge a blanket. 386 00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:21,633 Ho-ho! You bet I can! 387 00:13:21,635 --> 00:13:23,802 I'll just sneak it into his pillowcase 388 00:13:23,804 --> 00:13:25,737 or mix it in his hamper like a stew. 389 00:13:25,739 --> 00:13:27,906 Don't do that. Don't make a hamper stew. 390 00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:31,342 I just... I need the blanket. 391 00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:33,211 Once they grow up, it's all I'll have. 392 00:13:33,213 --> 00:13:36,414 Look, I know how hard this is for you. 393 00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:37,048 I do. 394 00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:39,184 They're more than my world, Murray. 395 00:13:39,186 --> 00:13:40,118 They're my life. 396 00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:43,621 If I'm not Mama, what am I? 397 00:13:43,957 --> 00:13:44,923 Well, that's up to you. 398 00:13:44,925 --> 00:13:48,059 ADULT ADAM: While my mom had to figure out her place in the world, 399 00:13:48,061 --> 00:13:50,562 I was loving my new life as a cool kid. 400 00:13:50,564 --> 00:13:52,096 ADAM: ¶ Gummi Bears 401 00:13:52,098 --> 00:13:55,300 ¶ Bouncing here and there and everywhere 402 00:13:55,302 --> 00:13:58,837 ¶ High adventure that's beyond compare 403 00:13:58,839 --> 00:14:01,506 ¶ They are the Gummi Bears ¶ 404 00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:03,374 Look at him sitting there, Pops, 405 00:14:03,376 --> 00:14:05,844 acting like a badass street punk. 406 00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:06,744 Adam? Correct. 407 00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:09,080 With the cartoons and the gelatin candies? 408 00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:11,883 He thinks he's bad? Well, I'll show him who's bad. 409 00:14:11,885 --> 00:14:14,285 I wouldn't do that if I were you. 410 00:14:14,287 --> 00:14:15,119 Why not? 411 00:14:15,121 --> 00:14:16,855 'Cause I'm enjoying my leisure time. 412 00:14:16,857 --> 00:14:19,858 If I stand up, you're gonna regret it. 413 00:14:19,860 --> 00:14:20,592 I can't live this way! 414 00:14:20,594 --> 00:14:23,428 You ruined my life by fighting back and winning! 415 00:14:23,430 --> 00:14:24,629 Hey, I needed a win! 416 00:14:24,631 --> 00:14:28,299 Do you realize how crappy this year has been for me? 417 00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:29,334 I lost my girlfriend, 418 00:14:29,336 --> 00:14:31,836 puberty was not kind to my body, 419 00:14:31,838 --> 00:14:34,172 and I got pantsed on the pull-up bar, 420 00:14:34,174 --> 00:14:34,772 undies and all! 421 00:14:34,774 --> 00:14:37,609 And then you tried to kick me when I was down! 422 00:14:37,611 --> 00:14:40,078 No! I was trying to help you! 423 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:41,679 By throwing me in the showers? 424 00:14:41,681 --> 00:14:42,347 Yes, idiot! 425 00:14:42,349 --> 00:14:44,582 Only the cool kids get hazed during Fear Week. 426 00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:47,585 When I was your age, no one picked on me, and it sucked! 427 00:14:47,587 --> 00:14:50,388 I didn't want it to suck for you, too! 428 00:14:50,824 --> 00:14:52,423 I didn't know that. 429 00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:56,561 Well, looks like next year is gonna be awesome, 430 00:14:56,930 --> 00:14:59,197 for you, anyway. 431 00:15:03,870 --> 00:15:05,169 ADULT ADAM: It had been a day 432 00:15:05,171 --> 00:15:07,305 since I robbed Barry of his pride and dignity. 433 00:15:07,307 --> 00:15:08,840 He was not taking it well. 434 00:15:08,842 --> 00:15:12,010 Goodbye, nunchucks. I will need you no more. 435 00:15:12,012 --> 00:15:15,046 Find a master who's not a wussbag. 436 00:15:15,815 --> 00:15:17,482 Arigato, samurai sword. 437 00:15:17,484 --> 00:15:21,419 This is not a place of honor. It's a place of shame. 438 00:15:21,488 --> 00:15:22,720 What did you do to the boy? 439 00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:25,189 He's trying to murder that garbage can. 440 00:15:25,191 --> 00:15:26,090 ADAM: This isn't my fault. 441 00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:30,061 Did Barry seriously think I'd be a nerdy little brother forever? 442 00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:30,561 Actually, yes. 443 00:15:30,563 --> 00:15:33,598 Look at me. I'm getting older and bigger. 444 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:34,165 Things change. 445 00:15:34,167 --> 00:15:35,800 Well, no matter how big you get, 446 00:15:35,802 --> 00:15:38,036 you're always gonna be Barry's little brother, 447 00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:40,071 and that means a lot to him. 448 00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:41,005 He sure doesn't act like it. 449 00:15:41,007 --> 00:15:44,042 Trust me, he loves being your big brother. 450 00:15:44,044 --> 00:15:46,544 It's a huge part of who he is, 451 00:15:46,546 --> 00:15:51,215 and without that, he's just not the same. 452 00:15:51,584 --> 00:15:53,985 Hey, Big Tasty, we need to talk. 453 00:15:53,987 --> 00:15:54,953 Whatever! Just stay away! 454 00:15:54,955 --> 00:15:56,054 Not that I'm scared of you, 455 00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:58,056 but, please, don't put hands on me. 456 00:15:58,058 --> 00:15:58,556 Come on, dude, 457 00:15:58,558 --> 00:16:01,659 we both know the only reason I could body-slam you 458 00:16:01,661 --> 00:16:03,127 was the summer solstice. 459 00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:03,828 Summer what? 460 00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:05,330 You know, the one day a year 461 00:16:05,332 --> 00:16:07,298 when the moon is closest to the earth, 462 00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:09,133 which means there's less gravity? 463 00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:10,001 There is? Yes. 464 00:16:10,003 --> 00:16:13,805 That's how a nerd like me suddenly had super strength. 465 00:16:13,807 --> 00:16:14,439 It's science. 466 00:16:14,441 --> 00:16:17,475 Science, you say? Like the kind with scientists? 467 00:16:17,477 --> 00:16:18,109 Oh, sure! 468 00:16:18,111 --> 00:16:21,045 With white lab coats and clipboards and safety goggles. 469 00:16:21,047 --> 00:16:22,947 Beakers? Tons of beakers, yeah. 470 00:16:22,949 --> 00:16:24,549 They hold them up the light and nod? 471 00:16:24,551 --> 00:16:26,818 How else would they see the chemicals? 472 00:16:26,820 --> 00:16:30,321 I knew there was no way that happened for real! 473 00:16:30,323 --> 00:16:30,922 (CHUCKLES) 474 00:16:30,924 --> 00:16:33,825 So the balance of power has been restored. 475 00:16:33,827 --> 00:16:35,193 You can be you again. 476 00:16:35,195 --> 00:16:35,927 It's not that easy! 477 00:16:35,929 --> 00:16:39,364 The whole school witnessed this once-in-a-lifetime moment. 478 00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:40,498 It can't be undone. 479 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:43,167 Actually, I think it can. 480 00:16:47,307 --> 00:16:50,274 Okay! Not that complicated, people. 481 00:16:50,276 --> 00:16:51,576 I call your name, 482 00:16:51,578 --> 00:16:53,811 and then you go up and get the piece of paper. 483 00:16:53,813 --> 00:16:56,948 But no showboating, no speeches, 484 00:16:56,950 --> 00:16:58,883 and no doing the worm, Dave Kim. 485 00:16:58,885 --> 00:17:00,184 I am onto you. 486 00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:01,185 This is America, man. 487 00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:03,488 BARRY: Mic check, one, two. One, two. 488 00:17:03,490 --> 00:17:05,023 Mic check, one, two. 489 00:17:05,025 --> 00:17:05,990 Checkity-check-check. 490 00:17:05,992 --> 00:17:08,593 Stop checking and just talk before we get busted! 491 00:17:08,595 --> 00:17:10,995 Attention, William Penn Academy! 492 00:17:10,997 --> 00:17:12,063 Prepare to bear witness 493 00:17:12,065 --> 00:17:15,066 to the most epic Fear Week Prank of all time. 494 00:17:15,068 --> 00:17:19,037 Eighth graders, welcome to high school. 495 00:17:19,039 --> 00:17:20,505 Go kick some ass. 496 00:17:20,507 --> 00:17:22,373 I'm back, baby. 497 00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:24,876 ADULT ADAM: That day, 498 00:17:24,878 --> 00:17:27,178 I helped my brother repair his damaged rep 499 00:17:27,180 --> 00:17:28,046 in one fell swoop. 500 00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:30,114 No! This is my graduation turtleneck! 501 00:17:30,116 --> 00:17:32,950 ¶ One thing I said that I would never do (BELL RINGS) 502 00:17:32,952 --> 00:17:33,785 Just like that, all memories 503 00:17:33,787 --> 00:17:35,019 of my brother getting body-slammed 504 00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:37,121 were completely washed away. 505 00:17:37,123 --> 00:17:40,458 I'm not a freshman! I'm the principal, damn it! 506 00:17:40,460 --> 00:17:42,960 It's not funny when it happens to you! 507 00:17:42,962 --> 00:17:45,463 Dude, Goldberg just showered the whole eighth grade! 508 00:17:45,465 --> 00:17:48,366 (LAUGHING) No way! Legendary! 509 00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:49,300 Classic Tasty! 510 00:17:49,302 --> 00:17:50,468 ADULT ADAM: Growing up, we all have 511 00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:52,303 those magical moments etched in stone. 512 00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:55,506 For Barry Norman Goldberg, his moment was now. 513 00:17:55,508 --> 00:17:57,842 Middle school's over, losers! 514 00:17:57,844 --> 00:18:00,678 Oh, my God, he's right! Middle school's over! 515 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:04,048 ¶ And we would scream together songs unsung (CHEERING) 516 00:18:04,050 --> 00:18:06,918 I think next year's gonna be pretty damn awesome. 517 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:09,187 I'm happy for you. For both of us. 518 00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:11,055 I'll make sure of it. 519 00:18:11,057 --> 00:18:13,024 But until then... 520 00:18:13,026 --> 00:18:13,925 Wait. What are you... 521 00:18:13,927 --> 00:18:15,426 ¶ The heat of the moment ¶ 522 00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:17,428 (LAUGHING) Yeah! 523 00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:18,429 JTP! 524 00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:19,664 ALL: JTP! 525 00:18:19,666 --> 00:18:22,100 ¶ And now you find yourself in '82 526 00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:24,836 BALL: I want all of you to go back to class! 527 00:18:24,838 --> 00:18:26,404 All of you! 528 00:18:26,406 --> 00:18:27,805 Let it happen, Earl. 529 00:18:27,807 --> 00:18:30,408 This prank deserves our respect. 530 00:18:30,410 --> 00:18:31,209 Let it happen. 531 00:18:31,211 --> 00:18:33,044 ADULT ADAM: Turns out, Freshman Fear Week 532 00:18:33,046 --> 00:18:34,712 was one of the best weeks of my life. 533 00:18:34,714 --> 00:18:37,448 We not only survived the rite of passage, 534 00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:39,617 we soared right through it. 535 00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:44,555 GEOFF: (SINGING OFF-KEY) 'Cause it's the heat of the moment 536 00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:46,858 ¶ Heat of the moment ¶ 537 00:18:46,860 --> 00:18:48,659 Guys, you've got to hear this tape 538 00:18:48,661 --> 00:18:49,894 that Geoff Schwartz made me. 539 00:18:49,896 --> 00:18:52,964 He, like, rambles on about how special I am. 540 00:18:52,966 --> 00:18:54,432 Such a dork. 541 00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:55,333 Enough. What? 542 00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:57,935 All year, you've been saying you don't like the guy. 543 00:18:57,937 --> 00:18:58,936 That's 'cause I don't. 544 00:18:58,938 --> 00:18:59,937 (SCOFFS) What? 545 00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:05,476 But I don't. I don't like Geoff Schwartz. 546 00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:06,677 ADULT ADAM: It's crazy how sometimes 547 00:19:06,679 --> 00:19:08,479 your life can change in a flash 548 00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:11,315 and all the things you were blind to or refuse to admit 549 00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:14,118 are suddenly staring you right in the face. 550 00:19:14,120 --> 00:19:16,921 Damn it, I like stupid Geoff Schwartz. 551 00:19:16,923 --> 00:19:21,125 And just like that, everything suddenly falls into place... 552 00:19:21,127 --> 00:19:22,393 Uh, Geoff, can we t... 553 00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:24,195 Come on, sweetie, we got to get to Blockbuster. 554 00:19:24,197 --> 00:19:27,031 ...even if it's not the way you thought it would. 555 00:19:27,033 --> 00:19:28,666 Hey, do you need something? 556 00:19:28,668 --> 00:19:29,901 It's... Nothing. 557 00:19:29,903 --> 00:19:34,772 ¶ The heat of the moment showed in your eyes Uh, have a great summer. 558 00:19:34,774 --> 00:19:35,940 Yeah, have a summer. 559 00:19:35,942 --> 00:19:37,975 ADULT ADAM: Yeah, growing up is tough... 560 00:19:37,977 --> 00:19:40,011 but no matter how hard it gets, 561 00:19:40,013 --> 00:19:42,180 you can always look forward to the future. 562 00:19:42,182 --> 00:19:43,548 ¶ Heat of the moment How do I look? 563 00:19:43,550 --> 00:19:44,916 Like my big boy. (CHUCKLES) 564 00:19:44,918 --> 00:19:48,419 ¶ Heat of the moment showed in your eyes ¶ 565 00:19:48,421 --> 00:19:49,720 My big man. 566 00:19:49,722 --> 00:19:52,223 For me, I didn't know what life would bring. 567 00:19:52,225 --> 00:19:53,658 And, sure, that was scary. 568 00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:55,593 But for the first time, I wasn't so afraid. 569 00:19:55,595 --> 00:20:01,532 Congratulations, graduating middle-school class of 198... 570 00:20:01,534 --> 00:20:03,467 (FEEDBACK SQUEALS, CHEERS AND APPLAUSE) 571 00:20:03,469 --> 00:20:05,102 It was the end of an era... 572 00:20:05,104 --> 00:20:05,836 You're the cutest! 573 00:20:05,838 --> 00:20:08,072 ...and the start of a brand-new one... 574 00:20:08,074 --> 00:20:09,974 Oh, just look at him. 575 00:20:09,976 --> 00:20:12,210 We are gonna have so much fun in high school. 576 00:20:12,212 --> 00:20:14,045 "We"? You know, you were right. 577 00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:16,414 I do need a life outside the house, 578 00:20:16,416 --> 00:20:20,084 and that is why I'm gonna get my teaching certificate. 579 00:20:20,086 --> 00:20:21,485 What have you done, Murray? 580 00:20:21,487 --> 00:20:23,154 ADULT ADAM: ...in more ways than one. 581 00:20:23,156 --> 00:20:24,989 Oh, and I want this to be a surprise, 582 00:20:24,991 --> 00:20:26,257 so don't tell the kids, okay? 583 00:20:26,259 --> 00:20:29,026 Don't worry, we'll let you deliver that message. 584 00:20:29,028 --> 00:20:31,829 That's the thing about our greatest memories. 585 00:20:31,831 --> 00:20:33,030 Sure, we don't always remember 586 00:20:33,032 --> 00:20:35,333 exactly who was there or how it happened. 587 00:20:35,335 --> 00:20:39,270 All I remember was the blur of 1980-something, 588 00:20:39,272 --> 00:20:41,939 and it was awesome. 589 00:20:41,941 --> 00:20:44,242 Luck Tin Tin, save me! Luck Tin Tin, save me! 590 00:20:44,244 --> 00:20:47,178 Luck Tin Tin, attack! (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) 591 00:20:47,180 --> 00:20:49,547 (INDISTINCT YELLING) 592 00:20:55,488 --> 00:20:58,422 (CHEERS AND LAUGHTER) 593 00:21:00,059 --> 00:21:00,825 Okay, as you know, 594 00:21:00,827 --> 00:21:04,028 you've been mocking my changing voice for this entire year. 595 00:21:04,030 --> 00:21:05,363 But now that I'm going to high school, 596 00:21:05,365 --> 00:21:08,633 it's time for you to get out all your insults here and now 597 00:21:08,635 --> 00:21:11,235 so we can bring this hurtful chapter to a close. 598 00:21:11,237 --> 00:21:13,170 You sound like a harmonica in a dryer. 599 00:21:13,172 --> 00:21:15,206 You sound like the child of Louis Armstrong 600 00:21:15,208 --> 00:21:16,040 and Harvey Fierstein. 601 00:21:16,042 --> 00:21:18,743 You sound like the Tin Man before he was oiled. 602 00:21:18,745 --> 00:21:21,112 You sound like a witch gave a frog a voice. 603 00:21:21,114 --> 00:21:23,981 Stop it! His voice is perfect. 604 00:21:23,983 --> 00:21:26,517 He sounds like a beautiful angel... 605 00:21:26,519 --> 00:21:29,220 ...with an undescended testicle. (CHUCKLES) 606 00:21:29,222 --> 00:21:30,988 I regret this.