1 00:00:00,900 --> 00:00:02,201 Adult adam: Back in the '80s, 2 00:00:02,203 --> 00:00:04,737 This is what gaming looked like. 3 00:00:04,739 --> 00:00:08,974 Just a fold-out board, assorted plastic pieces, 4 00:00:08,976 --> 00:00:11,310 And a pop-o-matic bubble. 5 00:00:11,312 --> 00:00:12,211 The competition was fierce, 6 00:00:12,213 --> 00:00:15,014 And there were no bigger rivals than my brother and sister. 7 00:00:15,016 --> 00:00:18,650 Board games gave them an outlet to channel their anger. 8 00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:19,485 Don't mess up! (buzzer) 9 00:00:19,487 --> 00:00:23,355 Oh! Paging dr. Sucks at operation. 10 00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:25,290 Come in, dr. Sucks at operation. 11 00:00:25,292 --> 00:00:27,493 Adult adam: Sure, winning felt good. 12 00:00:27,495 --> 00:00:27,893 F-1. 13 00:00:27,895 --> 00:00:31,597 But the real prize was gloating as you crushed the loser's fragile spirit. 14 00:00:31,599 --> 00:00:33,298 (quietly) you sank my battleship. 15 00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:34,600 I can't hear you. 16 00:00:34,602 --> 00:00:35,801 You sank my battleship. 17 00:00:35,803 --> 00:00:37,736 Look at me in the eye when you say it! 18 00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:39,138 Adult adam: Erica had smarts and strategy. 19 00:00:39,140 --> 00:00:44,043 Barry had trash talk and a psychotic desire to win no matter the game, 20 00:00:44,045 --> 00:00:45,077 Even girl talk. 21 00:00:45,079 --> 00:00:46,412 "the last digit of your phone number 22 00:00:46,414 --> 00:00:49,415 "indicates how many boys you will kiss." 23 00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:51,450 Six! Yes! Girl talk! 24 00:00:51,452 --> 00:00:53,052 Adult adam: They were worthy adversaries 25 00:00:53,054 --> 00:00:55,354 Until a new board game changed everything. 26 00:00:55,356 --> 00:00:59,391 Check it out! It's called trivial pursuit. 27 00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:02,461 Yes! A new game to dominate. 28 00:01:02,929 --> 00:01:05,197 Okay. "sports and leisure. 29 00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:09,301 "what team has won the most stanley cup championships?" 30 00:01:09,303 --> 00:01:11,136 (scoffs) montreal canadians. 31 00:01:11,138 --> 00:01:14,673 Swish, baby. This game is too easy. 32 00:01:15,041 --> 00:01:16,909 "arts and literature. 33 00:01:16,911 --> 00:01:18,544 "whose autobiographical masterpiece 34 00:01:18,546 --> 00:01:22,181 "was entitled long day's journey into night?" 35 00:01:22,183 --> 00:01:23,749 Pass! Sports again. 36 00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:26,885 Not how it works, dummy. My turn. 37 00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:33,125 "what sailor's disease resulted from a deficiency of vitamin c?" 38 00:01:33,127 --> 00:01:34,626 Mmm, scurvy? 39 00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:35,394 Correct! 40 00:01:35,396 --> 00:01:38,097 Looks like someone's gonna be tough to beat. 41 00:01:38,099 --> 00:01:39,298 Adult adam: The game was simple. 42 00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:41,633 You either knew the answer or you didn't, 43 00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:42,434 And barry didn't. 44 00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:46,572 For the first time ever, the scales were tipped firmly to erica. 45 00:01:46,574 --> 00:01:48,073 (exhales sharply) 46 00:01:48,075 --> 00:01:49,374 Oh, this one's super easy. 47 00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:52,244 "who wrote the diary of anne frank?" 48 00:01:52,246 --> 00:01:53,812 Uh... 49 00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:54,480 Uh... 50 00:01:54,482 --> 00:01:57,716 Seriously? It's called "the diary of anne frank." 51 00:01:57,718 --> 00:02:01,086 Don't help me! I know what the answer is! 52 00:02:01,521 --> 00:02:02,821 It's... 53 00:02:02,823 --> 00:02:04,490 It's... 54 00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:07,392 Ahhh! I hate this! 55 00:02:09,762 --> 00:02:12,064 Who's up for girl talk? 56 00:02:12,332 --> 00:02:13,499 ¶ I'm twisted up inside 57 00:02:13,501 --> 00:02:18,470 ¶ but nonetheless I feel the need to say 58 00:02:19,772 --> 00:02:20,706 ¶ I don't know the future 59 00:02:20,708 --> 00:02:24,109 ¶ but the past keeps getting clearer every day ¶ 60 00:02:24,111 --> 00:02:27,513 Adult adam: It was November 12, 1980 something. 61 00:02:27,515 --> 00:02:28,280 I was in gym class, 62 00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:31,683 And today's lesson to nurture the young blossoming athlete, 63 00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:33,218 Scooter ball. 64 00:02:33,220 --> 00:02:33,919 It was a lot like soccer 65 00:02:33,921 --> 00:02:37,489 Except with an 80% better chance of injury. 66 00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:38,724 Ahhh. 67 00:02:38,726 --> 00:02:39,391 My fingers! 68 00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:41,527 I'm so sorry! He's hurt! 69 00:02:41,529 --> 00:02:42,227 Scoot it off! 70 00:02:42,229 --> 00:02:44,396 Adult adam: The overlord of this insanity was mr. Mellor, 71 00:02:44,398 --> 00:02:48,667 A gung-ho ex-jock filled with stupid sports cliches. 72 00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:50,569 No pain, no gain! 73 00:02:50,571 --> 00:02:51,570 There is no "I" in team! 74 00:02:51,572 --> 00:02:53,906 Winners never quit! Quitters never win! 75 00:02:53,908 --> 00:02:56,675 Adult adam: And some of his sayings we just found confusing. 76 00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:59,845 It is never okay to put butter on a doughnut! 77 00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:01,480 Dance like no one's watching! 78 00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:03,849 Love like you've never been hurt! 79 00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:06,652 Don't trust your cousin on a road trip with your wife. 80 00:03:06,654 --> 00:03:07,686 (whistle chirps) all right! 81 00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:12,858 Think you guys are ready for the apex of rubber-ball-based sports. 82 00:03:13,993 --> 00:03:14,593 Dodgeball. 83 00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:15,761 (bell tolls) adult adam: For kids like me, 84 00:03:15,763 --> 00:03:19,531 This was our waking nightmare from which there was no escape. 85 00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,333 Grab a ball! 86 00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:24,036 Same teams. On my whistle. 87 00:03:24,038 --> 00:03:24,703 This is bad. 88 00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:26,705 I want the star wars theme played at my funeral. 89 00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:28,440 What are you guys doing? Posing for a trophy? 90 00:03:28,442 --> 00:03:30,776 Let's go! Adult adam: It wasn't pretty, 91 00:03:30,778 --> 00:03:32,411 But as much as dodgeball hurt me, 92 00:03:32,413 --> 00:03:34,746 It hurt someone else even more. 93 00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:35,347 Oh! 94 00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:36,715 My schmoopies are home. 95 00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,483 (kisses) okay. 96 00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:39,751 (kisses) hmm. 97 00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:40,385 (exclaims) oh! 98 00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:42,821 Who did this to your kissable face? 99 00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:44,957 Mom, please don't. I'm fine. 100 00:03:44,959 --> 00:03:46,258 Who? I want names. 101 00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:49,861 It's from dodgeball. Mr. Mellor lives for it. It's like his air. 102 00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:52,931 It's like a violation of human rights. 103 00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:53,465 Here we go. 104 00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:56,201 Bevy, it's not a rights violation. 105 00:03:56,203 --> 00:03:57,336 It's gym class. 106 00:03:57,338 --> 00:03:59,404 Well, I think he's an animal. 107 00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:00,505 How much does it hurt, schmoo? 108 00:04:00,507 --> 00:04:03,108 On a pain scale from 1 to 10, how much? 109 00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:05,844 Um... I'd say fi... 110 00:04:06,312 --> 00:04:07,913 Three... 111 00:04:08,648 --> 00:04:09,681 One? One. 112 00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:10,449 It should be zero. 113 00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:12,918 I also would have accepted the word "nothing." 114 00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,686 I'm marching down there first thing. 115 00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:15,254 Bevy, no. 116 00:04:15,256 --> 00:04:17,389 They don't need your angry rants on how to educate. 117 00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:19,391 Mom, please don't make a thing of this. 118 00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:20,726 You got to let teachers teach. 119 00:04:20,728 --> 00:04:22,427 I don't want to be on his bad side. 120 00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:23,295 Don't worry about him. 121 00:04:23,297 --> 00:04:26,198 He doesn't want to be on my bad side, 122 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,567 'cause it's much badder. 123 00:04:29,469 --> 00:04:30,435 Adult adam: It really was. 124 00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:32,537 My mom marched down to school so often that the teachers 125 00:04:32,539 --> 00:04:35,407 Could almost sense she was coming. 126 00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:36,942 (door opens) 127 00:04:37,343 --> 00:04:38,510 Whoop! 128 00:04:38,512 --> 00:04:40,412 (door closes) 129 00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:42,514 (keys jingling) 130 00:04:45,718 --> 00:04:50,355 Don't worry, cinoman. Today's not your day. I'm here for mellor. 131 00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:52,024 Third door on the left. 132 00:04:52,392 --> 00:04:52,991 Cute top. 133 00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:56,228 You want me to cancel dodgeball, 134 00:04:56,230 --> 00:04:59,097 One of the seven pillars of fitness? 135 00:04:59,099 --> 00:04:59,831 What are the other six? 136 00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:04,670 Look, canceling dodgeball would be like canceling science. 137 00:05:04,672 --> 00:05:08,173 Is that what you want? A world with no science? 138 00:05:08,175 --> 00:05:10,642 Why do you hate nasa? Why? 139 00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,978 I don't hate it. They gave us tang. 140 00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:15,447 What I do hate is dodgeball. 141 00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:16,682 Dodgeball is an essential part 142 00:05:16,684 --> 00:05:19,017 Of strengthening a young man's character, 143 00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:22,321 And nobody needs that more than your son. 144 00:05:22,323 --> 00:05:23,955 (sternly) how dare you? 145 00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:26,692 My son has the strength and character 146 00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:28,493 Of three lou ferrignos! 147 00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:31,596 How dare you invoke lou ferrigno? 148 00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:32,397 How dare you? 149 00:05:32,399 --> 00:05:35,600 I'm not gonna stand here and let you push me around! 150 00:05:35,602 --> 00:05:36,802 I'm not scared of you. 151 00:05:36,804 --> 00:05:37,736 Well, you should be. 152 00:05:37,738 --> 00:05:39,538 I'd think twice about this if I were you. 153 00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:42,074 No. I will not think at all. 154 00:05:42,076 --> 00:05:44,609 If there's any more dodgeball in this school, 155 00:05:44,611 --> 00:05:47,412 You will regret it. Mark my words. 156 00:05:47,414 --> 00:05:49,214 I will mark no words. Mark them! 157 00:05:49,216 --> 00:05:51,750 Adult adam: While my mom was putting a stop to the game she hated, 158 00:05:51,752 --> 00:05:54,953 Barry was ready to give the game he sucked at another try. 159 00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:58,924 Oh, hello. I did not see you sitting there. 160 00:05:58,926 --> 00:05:59,758 We're not sitting. 161 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:02,060 What you're doing is called sitting. 162 00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:03,595 Potato, potato. 163 00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:04,796 Care for a rematch, erica? 164 00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:07,766 And crush your fragile spirit again? 165 00:06:07,768 --> 00:06:08,600 Gladly. 166 00:06:08,602 --> 00:06:11,069 Um, I don't think I want to be here for this. 167 00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:14,506 You shall witness the battle, old man! 168 00:06:14,607 --> 00:06:15,841 I mean... 169 00:06:15,843 --> 00:06:17,576 I cherish our time together. 170 00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:18,777 Please, sit. 171 00:06:18,779 --> 00:06:22,514 Ooh. Science and nature. Challenging. 172 00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:25,350 "what animal does a hippophobe fear?" 173 00:06:25,352 --> 00:06:26,518 Horses. 174 00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,186 The answer is horses. 175 00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:29,454 That's right. 176 00:06:29,456 --> 00:06:32,424 Yellow. Ooh. History. 177 00:06:32,592 --> 00:06:35,093 "how many children does queen elizabeth..." 178 00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:36,128 Four. 179 00:06:36,130 --> 00:06:36,661 (chuckles) wow. 180 00:06:36,663 --> 00:06:39,097 You sure seem to know a lot of stuff all of a sudden. 181 00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:41,600 There's no reason to be patronibing. 182 00:06:41,602 --> 00:06:43,168 Okay, next card. 183 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:48,173 "what city was called the paris of the south?" 184 00:06:48,175 --> 00:06:48,874 Maya angelou. 185 00:06:48,876 --> 00:06:52,077 That's the answer on the card you wanted me to choose, you knob. 186 00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:52,944 You're clearly cheating. 187 00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:56,648 How dare you? I am a sportsman! 188 00:06:56,650 --> 00:06:58,483 You insult my honor! Pops: Hey, bar, 189 00:06:58,485 --> 00:07:00,552 It's kind of obvious you're cheating. 190 00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:03,121 I am not. I simply memorized the answers 191 00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:06,158 And put the cards in a particular order so I can win! 192 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:08,059 That's cheating! That's preparation! 193 00:07:08,061 --> 00:07:09,094 Preparation for cheating. 194 00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:12,597 Don't blame me! This game is impossible and has no point! 195 00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,266 What's the point of mouse trap? 196 00:07:14,268 --> 00:07:15,534 To boot a marble down a flight of stairs 197 00:07:15,536 --> 00:07:18,437 Onto a slide and into a bathtub, which, in turn, 198 00:07:18,439 --> 00:07:19,971 Another balls falls onto a see-saw, 199 00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:21,873 Back flipping an old man into a kiddie pool, 200 00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:25,010 Causing a trap to fall on a mouse! Duh! 201 00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:25,577 That he knows. 202 00:07:25,579 --> 00:07:28,246 Face it, this is one game you can't win. 203 00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:29,281 Say I'm better than you. Say it. 204 00:07:29,283 --> 00:07:32,984 Never! I will do everything in my power to learn knowledge. 205 00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:36,655 I will go to school, and I will read books, 206 00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:38,223 And I will study art, 207 00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:39,558 And I will drink in life 208 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:42,928 Just so I can beat you at this board game! 209 00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:44,229 Oh! 210 00:07:44,231 --> 00:07:48,700 He should probably do all that stuff regardless. 211 00:07:48,868 --> 00:07:49,901 Ladies and gentlemen, 212 00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:52,337 Due to aggressive parental interference, 213 00:07:52,339 --> 00:07:55,240 There's been a change in the phys-ed curriculum. 214 00:07:55,242 --> 00:07:56,675 (indistinct conversations) 215 00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:58,677 What? Could be any of our moms. 216 00:07:58,679 --> 00:07:59,377 Effective immediately, 217 00:07:59,379 --> 00:08:02,481 There will no longer be dodgeball in my class. 218 00:08:02,483 --> 00:08:03,281 (sighs) instead, 219 00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:06,618 We'll play an all-new safer, kinder game 220 00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:07,986 Called big baby ball. 221 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:12,324 We'll choose teams by counting off ones and twos. 222 00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:14,092 Goldfarb, begin. 223 00:08:14,094 --> 00:08:15,594 One. Everybody else is a two. 224 00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:18,063 Let's get the ones on that side, 225 00:08:18,065 --> 00:08:19,698 Twos on the other. 226 00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:22,100 Mr. Mellor, is it too late to switch my number to two? 227 00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:25,537 Well, your mother demanded that we play something else, 228 00:08:25,539 --> 00:08:28,673 So you can let her know that her voice was heard today. 229 00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:31,576 Good luck and cover your nards. 230 00:08:35,815 --> 00:08:37,282 Adult adam: I was in a tight spot, 231 00:08:37,284 --> 00:08:42,220 So I decided my only choice was to fight my way out. 232 00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:43,922 (whistle blows) 233 00:08:44,891 --> 00:08:47,526 Why? I don't know! 234 00:08:49,495 --> 00:08:51,596 (grunts) sorry. 235 00:08:51,598 --> 00:08:54,099 Beverly: I don't understand. Mellor didn't cower? 236 00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:55,300 Why didn't he cower? 237 00:08:55,302 --> 00:08:56,968 It's on you, bev. 238 00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:59,538 The boy was singled out because you mixed in. 239 00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:01,339 He's right, mom. You made it worse. 240 00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:02,774 Why can't you ever listen? 241 00:09:02,776 --> 00:09:03,975 You want to protect the boy, 242 00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:06,578 And you always end up making it a million times worse. 243 00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:08,914 No, you're completely right. 244 00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:11,249 I know it in my heart. 245 00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:14,553 Good. It's nice to finally be on the same page. 246 00:09:14,555 --> 00:09:15,754 Definitely. 247 00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:17,455 What's with the coat? 248 00:09:18,090 --> 00:09:19,558 Are you marching down to school again? 249 00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:22,994 I want to say no, but that would be a lie. 250 00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:24,563 But I thought we're on the same page. 251 00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:25,864 We are, and yet, here I go. 252 00:09:25,866 --> 00:09:28,700 Just stop! Just tell your body to stop! 253 00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:33,772 I want to. I really want to. But I can't. 254 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,241 I thought we're on the same page! 255 00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:36,875 (door closes) 256 00:09:36,877 --> 00:09:41,279 And the next item of business is scheduling teacher conferences. 257 00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:42,814 (door opens) 258 00:09:43,616 --> 00:09:45,684 Blonde monster. (man coughs) 259 00:09:45,686 --> 00:09:46,318 Nothing. 260 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:48,853 Mrs. Goldberg, this is a private meeting. 261 00:09:48,855 --> 00:09:50,822 Not anymore. Got to go, people! 262 00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:53,124 Don't care where. Just not here. 263 00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:55,460 Don't leave. She looks really mad. 264 00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:57,629 I'm sorry, earl. 265 00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:03,034 Mr. Mellor is no longer with william penn academy 266 00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:06,671 Due to a concern raised by a parent... 267 00:10:07,073 --> 00:10:08,873 Who shall remain nameless. 268 00:10:10,309 --> 00:10:11,142 This one's tough to deny. 269 00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:13,278 Adult adam: Thanks to my mother, I got out of dodgeball. 270 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:16,982 All it took was ruining a man's life. 271 00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:22,554 Oh. Hello, again. 272 00:10:22,556 --> 00:10:23,922 I did not see you sitting there. 273 00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:26,358 Again, you're the one sitting. 274 00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:27,192 Potato, tomato. 275 00:10:27,194 --> 00:10:28,493 Come sit. I've been thinking. 276 00:10:28,495 --> 00:10:33,531 We've completely lost track of what board games are all about... 277 00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:34,232 Family fun. 278 00:10:34,234 --> 00:10:36,668 That's why I invented a new gaming experience 279 00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:41,106 For the whole family to enjoy. I call it... 280 00:10:41,207 --> 00:10:42,240 Barry-nopoly. 281 00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:44,943 "do a freestyle rap as good as big tasty 282 00:10:44,945 --> 00:10:46,511 "or nun chuck better than barry?" 283 00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:49,247 I've made sure it caters to all our strengths. 284 00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:52,751 For you, trivia. Physical challenges for myself. 285 00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:55,487 And for pops, frequent bathroom breaks. 286 00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:56,121 I like this game. 287 00:10:56,123 --> 00:10:59,257 You actually created a board game that only you can win. 288 00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:00,225 Do you realize how sad that is? 289 00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:03,695 Does this mean you forfeit and I'm reigning champion forever? 290 00:11:03,697 --> 00:11:04,529 No. I'll play. 291 00:11:04,531 --> 00:11:06,398 And I'll literally beat you at your own game. 292 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:08,633 Let's do this! What'll it be, pops? 293 00:11:08,635 --> 00:11:11,169 Rap or an elaborate nun chuck routine? 294 00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,737 I have to go to the bathroom. 295 00:11:12,739 --> 00:11:14,973 (bell dings) 40 bonus points for pops! 296 00:11:14,975 --> 00:11:17,609 I really like this game. 297 00:11:17,843 --> 00:11:19,444 Okay, your turn. 298 00:11:19,812 --> 00:11:20,712 Ooh. 299 00:11:20,714 --> 00:11:22,947 "arm wrestle barry." 300 00:11:22,949 --> 00:11:23,915 Easy. 301 00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:25,383 You're so hosed. 302 00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:26,017 Am I, now? 303 00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:30,321 Have you ever heard of a little sylvester stallone arm-wrestling drama called, 304 00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:31,022 "over the top?" 305 00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:33,725 No. Well, you're about to live it. 306 00:11:34,226 --> 00:11:35,727 Go. 307 00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:37,362 Ha! 308 00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:40,699 Oh, no! He's losing! 309 00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:42,333 Or is he? Over the top! 310 00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:45,270 What are you doing? Going over the top! 311 00:11:45,571 --> 00:11:47,439 What are you doing? I'm going over the top! 312 00:11:47,441 --> 00:11:49,474 You can't go over the top! I'm going over the top! 313 00:11:49,476 --> 00:11:51,509 I'm going over your top! (grunts) 314 00:11:51,511 --> 00:11:54,879 Yes! Yes! In your face! 315 00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:55,680 This game is rigged! 316 00:11:55,682 --> 00:11:58,049 It's your game, and I still beat you! 317 00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:00,185 Say it. I'm better than you in every way. 318 00:12:00,187 --> 00:12:02,253 Fine! You're better than me. 319 00:12:02,255 --> 00:12:06,925 You're smart and you're cool and everyone likes you. 320 00:12:06,927 --> 00:12:08,526 And I'm nothing. 321 00:12:09,395 --> 00:12:10,195 Congrats. 322 00:12:10,197 --> 00:12:11,196 Adult adam: For the first time ever, 323 00:12:11,198 --> 00:12:13,598 Crushing barry didn't feel like such a triumph. 324 00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:18,303 Meanwhile, my dad stumbled upon another man down on his luck, 325 00:12:18,305 --> 00:12:20,438 Coach mellor. 326 00:12:20,873 --> 00:12:21,639 Oh, god. 327 00:12:21,641 --> 00:12:23,374 You need a curb painted, hoss? 328 00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:24,242 Suggested donation $5. 329 00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:28,146 Yeah, actually, I'm adam goldberg's father. 330 00:12:28,447 --> 00:12:30,148 Oh. So your wife is... 331 00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:31,616 Yeah, blonde monster. 332 00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:33,451 Love her dearly. 333 00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:36,621 So, is this what you're doing for money? 334 00:12:36,623 --> 00:12:38,356 For now. Turns out there's not a great demand 335 00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:41,559 For a phys-ed specialist in the middle of the school year. 336 00:12:41,561 --> 00:12:43,228 I don't mean to tell you your business, 337 00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:46,264 But I don't think that's the right address. 338 00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:47,799 It is not. I lost my 3. 339 00:12:47,801 --> 00:12:50,268 You know, I know my wife can get carried away with things, 340 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:55,073 And I just want to let you know, I'm really sorry about all this. 341 00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:55,573 Don't be. 342 00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:58,309 Your wife plays hard. I respect a winner. 343 00:12:58,311 --> 00:13:01,379 She's a good woman who does not know the word "quit," 344 00:13:01,381 --> 00:13:02,514 Although she does know the word "fired." 345 00:13:02,516 --> 00:13:04,549 Can I give you a ride somewhere? Maybe a hot meal? 346 00:13:04,551 --> 00:13:07,752 That's very kind of you, but I only got about 10 more blocks to go, 347 00:13:07,754 --> 00:13:10,321 And I got a fanny pack full of turkey jerky, so... 348 00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:12,624 I told you, I don't want the numbers! 349 00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:15,960 It's donation only! Just pay what's fair! 350 00:13:16,929 --> 00:13:19,931 You know what? He's getting the hose. You better open up. 351 00:13:19,933 --> 00:13:21,933 Those are fresh numbers! 352 00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:25,637 Where's the three? 353 00:13:25,639 --> 00:13:26,271 I got to tell you, 354 00:13:26,273 --> 00:13:29,507 He's not the same guy without the whistle and the short-shorts. 355 00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:33,411 A guy like that belongs in a gym yelling at kids. It's in his blood. 356 00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:36,447 Look, I never intended for mellor to get fired, 357 00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:39,150 But this is on him. He singled out my boy. 358 00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:42,720 Okay, he was wrong, but you took it too far. 359 00:13:42,722 --> 00:13:46,191 Now do the right thing and put that loose cannon 360 00:13:46,193 --> 00:13:46,991 Back in charge of children. 361 00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:50,261 I go easy on one teacher, then the rest won't fear me. 362 00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:54,499 Fine. You won't help the poor bastard, I will. 363 00:13:54,900 --> 00:13:56,100 What's that supposed to mean? 364 00:13:56,102 --> 00:13:58,670 Mr. G, I really appreciate this opportunity. 365 00:13:58,672 --> 00:14:00,738 You got my word, I will give you 110%. 366 00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:04,609 Call me murray. 110%, that is not necessary. 367 00:14:04,611 --> 00:14:07,579 On a good day, the best vic gives me is what? 50%? 368 00:14:07,581 --> 00:14:10,481 (laughs) there he goes, busting balls. 369 00:14:10,483 --> 00:14:11,549 It's what we do. 370 00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:13,952 No. What we do is sell furniture. 371 00:14:13,954 --> 00:14:15,987 Bring it in. "furniture" on three. 372 00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:19,991 Yeah, okay, what vic and I do is we sell the furniture, 373 00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:24,662 And what I need you to do is to move the coffee table 374 00:14:24,664 --> 00:14:25,997 Over by the sofa set. 375 00:14:25,999 --> 00:14:28,066 Sir, yes, sir! Time me. 376 00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:29,234 Whoa, whoa. It's not a race. 377 00:14:29,236 --> 00:14:32,637 Take your time. One, two, three. (grunts) 378 00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:33,638 Oh, whoa. 379 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:37,675 That's oak. That's heavy. I thought it was pine. 380 00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:40,478 Excuse me, sir. 381 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,180 Excuse me. Woman: Is this in stock? 382 00:14:42,182 --> 00:14:45,950 Yes, it is. And you can have that in your house today. 383 00:14:45,952 --> 00:14:48,453 I don't know. It's kind of pricey. 384 00:14:48,455 --> 00:14:49,821 Tell you what. 385 00:14:49,823 --> 00:14:53,091 You pay cash, I'll take off 5%. 386 00:14:53,093 --> 00:14:54,692 I'll just come back another time. 387 00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:56,060 There is no other time. 388 00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:58,263 Clock's winding down. Ball's in your hands. 389 00:14:58,265 --> 00:15:00,031 You gonna put the ball in the hole, 390 00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:01,199 Or you gonna go home a loser? 391 00:15:01,201 --> 00:15:03,668 I don't really understand what's happening right now. 392 00:15:03,670 --> 00:15:06,371 He's new. We're team players in this store. 393 00:15:06,373 --> 00:15:07,672 We don't sell to anybody who doesn't pass the ball. 394 00:15:07,674 --> 00:15:11,776 You keep referencing a ball. Is it the same ball? 395 00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:13,478 Let me make it simple. 396 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:15,213 There's no "I" in team, man. 397 00:15:15,215 --> 00:15:18,182 We only sell to winners, so get the (bleep) out! 398 00:15:18,184 --> 00:15:20,318 Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Ho, ho. 399 00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:21,719 I am sorry! 400 00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:23,354 What? (panting) 401 00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:24,756 Okay. We need to talk. 402 00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:27,058 Sure thing, boss. What are you doing? 403 00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:29,527 Taking a knee. Just take an early lunch. 404 00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:31,162 You got it, boss. 405 00:15:33,732 --> 00:15:35,400 Mellor: Juice time. 406 00:15:40,205 --> 00:15:41,673 Mmm. 407 00:15:42,508 --> 00:15:45,076 So many bananas and beets. 408 00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:47,145 (sniffs) ahh. 409 00:15:47,479 --> 00:15:49,314 Let's go. 410 00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:52,517 (grunts) 411 00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:53,251 Yeah! 412 00:15:53,253 --> 00:15:56,688 Finally got some energy! Let's go! 413 00:15:57,523 --> 00:16:01,025 So, before, that was him without energy? 414 00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:04,562 Adult adam: After my dad's horrible day at work, 415 00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:08,099 He had to face an even worse night at home. 416 00:16:08,101 --> 00:16:11,936 Hey, could I, uh, have some ranch dressing for my salad? 417 00:16:11,938 --> 00:16:13,972 Oh, of course, honey. 418 00:16:17,309 --> 00:16:18,509 When. 419 00:16:18,511 --> 00:16:22,180 That's what you get for hiring the enemy to work in our store. 420 00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:23,214 Don't worry about mellor. 421 00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:27,919 You're not gonna see him. He's working all the way across town. 422 00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:28,853 Hey, boss! 423 00:16:28,855 --> 00:16:32,156 Sorry to interrupt! It's me, rick mellor! I work for you! 424 00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:34,525 I can see you're eating dinner. 425 00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:36,661 Oh, is that lamb? 426 00:16:36,762 --> 00:16:38,596 That looks like lamb. 427 00:16:40,065 --> 00:16:42,667 What are you doing? You're supposed to be out making deliveries. 428 00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:43,901 Yeah, well, here's the thing. 429 00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:45,703 I decided to do all this week's drop-offs in one day. 430 00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:49,374 I told you, you can't load that much furniture on the truck at once. 431 00:16:49,376 --> 00:16:52,243 I thought you said that because you believed I couldn't do it! 432 00:16:52,245 --> 00:16:54,612 And I proved you wrong. (chuckles) 433 00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:56,214 But I broke the truck. 434 00:16:56,216 --> 00:16:56,848 Fine. Where is it? 435 00:16:56,850 --> 00:16:59,517 It's a couple blocks down. Address is 466. 436 00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:02,620 Although the actual address is 366. 437 00:17:02,622 --> 00:17:04,088 Haven't been my best this week. 438 00:17:04,090 --> 00:17:07,859 Balls! He's come for me! He's seeking vengeance! 439 00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:08,493 No vengeance. No. 440 00:17:08,495 --> 00:17:11,629 I just came to apologize to your old man for breaking his truck. 441 00:17:11,631 --> 00:17:12,797 But while I got you here, 442 00:17:12,799 --> 00:17:16,401 I guess I owe you both an apology myself. 443 00:17:16,403 --> 00:17:19,604 Mrs. G, you're a strong woman, 444 00:17:19,606 --> 00:17:21,406 And I respect the hell out of you. 445 00:17:21,408 --> 00:17:24,242 Do you? Do you? 446 00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:26,544 Thanks. 447 00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:27,612 And, adam, 448 00:17:27,614 --> 00:17:30,048 I was dead wrong to single you out. 449 00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:32,016 The truth is, I'm only hard on you 450 00:17:32,018 --> 00:17:33,217 'cause I'm rooting for you. 451 00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:35,119 Really? You know, as you get older, 452 00:17:35,121 --> 00:17:37,555 You'll realize that life ain't easy 453 00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,891 And things fly at you that are a lot harder 454 00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:42,026 Than a stupid red rubber ball. 455 00:17:42,028 --> 00:17:46,097 And I just want you to learn that you're strong enough to face it 456 00:17:46,099 --> 00:17:49,267 And there's nothing you can't overcome. 457 00:17:49,269 --> 00:17:50,134 Adult adam: In that moment, 458 00:17:50,136 --> 00:17:54,505 I realized my biggest foe was really my biggest advocate. 459 00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:56,374 Well, enjoy your dinner. 460 00:17:56,376 --> 00:18:00,378 Wait. Are you hungry? I could fix you a plate. 461 00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:01,746 A plate? Ha. 462 00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:04,782 Hell, just point me to the blender. 463 00:18:07,219 --> 00:18:10,388 Oh, hello. I did not see you sitting there. 464 00:18:10,390 --> 00:18:11,355 I agree. 465 00:18:11,357 --> 00:18:12,190 So, I was thinking, 466 00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:15,159 How about one more game of trivial pursuit, winner takes all? 467 00:18:15,161 --> 00:18:18,596 So you can take all? No, thanks. 468 00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:20,398 Okay, how about this? 469 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:21,065 If you can beat me, 470 00:18:21,067 --> 00:18:24,469 Then trivial pursuit is banned forever from this house. 471 00:18:24,471 --> 00:18:25,937 Sounds awesome. 472 00:18:25,939 --> 00:18:28,639 The only problem is, I can't win. 473 00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:31,909 "who had an encounter with the three bears?" 474 00:18:32,644 --> 00:18:33,711 Goldilocks. 475 00:18:33,713 --> 00:18:34,812 That's right. Game on! 476 00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:36,647 Adult adam: As fate would have it, that game, 477 00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:40,284 Barry knew every question my sister threw at him. 478 00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:42,120 It was as if he was suddenly 479 00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:43,788 The smartest man on the planet. 480 00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:46,691 Or erica was picking cards from the little kid's edition, 481 00:18:46,693 --> 00:18:48,860 Suggested ages eight through 12. 482 00:18:48,862 --> 00:18:50,962 Cookie monster! Pigeons! 483 00:18:50,964 --> 00:18:52,864 The number four. Trees. 484 00:18:52,866 --> 00:18:54,532 Purple. Turtles. 485 00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:55,133 That's the one. 486 00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:58,169 Barry: Clouds. Beanstalk. Unicorn. Butterflies. 487 00:18:58,171 --> 00:19:01,005 Santa. Can I get a full name on that? 488 00:19:01,007 --> 00:19:02,807 Santa claus. 489 00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:05,610 Okay. This one's for the win. 490 00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:10,214 "what has the scientific formula h2o?" 491 00:19:10,382 --> 00:19:12,116 Water! It's water! 492 00:19:12,118 --> 00:19:15,486 I'm the smartest man alive! Say I'm better than you. 493 00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:16,888 You're better than me. 494 00:19:16,890 --> 00:19:19,724 Yes! (exhaling sharply) 495 00:19:19,726 --> 00:19:21,259 Ugh. (grunts) 496 00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:22,059 Pops: Oh! 497 00:19:22,061 --> 00:19:25,163 I'm all right! Yes! 498 00:19:25,165 --> 00:19:26,931 Way to go, kiddo. 499 00:19:26,933 --> 00:19:29,200 Yeah, well, he needed the win. 500 00:19:29,202 --> 00:19:30,801 Adult adam: Sometimes the best way 501 00:19:30,803 --> 00:19:31,736 To get the win is to lose, 502 00:19:31,738 --> 00:19:34,238 And other times, you just have to admit defeat. 503 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:38,943 Well, I would consider bringing mr. Mellor back 504 00:19:38,945 --> 00:19:40,478 On one condition. 505 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:43,614 You don't step foot in this school ever again. 506 00:19:43,949 --> 00:19:45,550 One year. Deal. 507 00:19:45,552 --> 00:19:47,218 Adult adam: My mom wasn't many things, 508 00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:49,086 But she was a woman of her word. 509 00:19:49,088 --> 00:19:51,455 That year, she never went back 510 00:19:51,457 --> 00:19:53,024 To school to complain. 511 00:19:53,026 --> 00:19:54,325 Yoo-hoo! 512 00:19:54,327 --> 00:19:55,526 Sorry to interrupt, earl. 513 00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:57,628 But technically this isn't school 514 00:19:57,630 --> 00:19:59,730 And I do have bones to pick. 515 00:19:59,732 --> 00:20:00,831 Oh, is that brisket? 516 00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:03,134 Adult adam: Although winning never came easy to me, 517 00:20:03,136 --> 00:20:05,603 Mr. Mellor actually did end up teaching me 518 00:20:05,605 --> 00:20:08,372 How to duck anything life might throw at me. 519 00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:10,841 ¶ victory is mine 520 00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:12,510 ¶ shooting at the walls of heartache 521 00:20:12,512 --> 00:20:15,313 ¶ the warrior ¶ (grunts) 522 00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:24,789 (bell dings) 523 00:20:25,324 --> 00:20:26,857 (bell dings) 524 00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:30,795 Okay. You rolled a two. Uh-huh. 525 00:20:30,797 --> 00:20:35,499 Now cruise down the big tasty river and draw a barry card. 526 00:20:35,501 --> 00:20:37,134 Oh. Your face is on these. 527 00:20:37,136 --> 00:20:39,904 I love this game. (chuckles) 528 00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:42,840 "roundhouse kick better than barry." 529 00:20:42,842 --> 00:20:46,711 Better than my kara-te master? It can't be done. 530 00:20:46,713 --> 00:20:47,812 Right answer! 531 00:20:47,814 --> 00:20:49,013 Ooh! 50 points! 532 00:20:49,015 --> 00:20:50,648 (laughs) 533 00:20:51,483 --> 00:20:53,484 Challenge card. 534 00:20:54,052 --> 00:20:56,153 "arm wrestle barry." 535 00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:58,155 Oh, we get to hold hands. 536 00:20:58,157 --> 00:21:00,691 Oh, you're even turning your hat backwards. 537 00:21:00,693 --> 00:21:02,460 How macho. 538 00:21:03,428 --> 00:21:04,929 Go! 539 00:21:05,063 --> 00:21:06,497 (grunting) 540 00:21:07,699 --> 00:21:08,799 Over the top! Ow! 541 00:21:08,801 --> 00:21:10,768 That's how you do it! Oh! Oh! 542 00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,403 Let's go! Let's go! 543 00:21:12,405 --> 00:21:14,572 Whoo! You're so strong, honey. 544 00:21:14,574 --> 00:21:18,109 (robotic voice) I know I am so strong. 545 00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:18,709 Let's go, barry! 546 00:21:18,711 --> 00:21:20,711 Oh, I'm so proud of you, honey, 547 00:21:20,713 --> 00:21:22,713 The way you beat mommy like that. 548 00:21:22,715 --> 00:21:24,615 I'm the best! 549 00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:26,117 Let him win, huh? 550 00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:27,618 He needs it.