1
00:00:00,900 --> 00:00:02,201
Adult adam:
Back in the '80s,
2
00:00:02,203 --> 00:00:04,737
This is what
gaming looked like.
3
00:00:04,739 --> 00:00:08,974
Just a fold-out board,
assorted plastic pieces,
4
00:00:08,976 --> 00:00:11,310
And a pop-o-matic bubble.
5
00:00:11,312 --> 00:00:12,211
The competition was fierce,
6
00:00:12,213 --> 00:00:15,014
And there were
no bigger rivals than
my brother and sister.
7
00:00:15,016 --> 00:00:18,650
Board games gave
them an outlet to
channel their anger.
8
00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:19,485
Don't mess up!
(buzzer)
9
00:00:19,487 --> 00:00:23,355
Oh! Paging dr. Sucks
at operation.
10
00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:25,290
Come in,
dr. Sucks at operation.
11
00:00:25,292 --> 00:00:27,493
Adult adam:
Sure, winning felt good.
12
00:00:27,495 --> 00:00:27,893
F-1.
13
00:00:27,895 --> 00:00:31,597
But the real prize was
gloating as you crushed
the loser's fragile spirit.
14
00:00:31,599 --> 00:00:33,298
(quietly) you sank
my battleship.
15
00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:34,600
I can't hear you.
16
00:00:34,602 --> 00:00:35,801
You sank my battleship.
17
00:00:35,803 --> 00:00:37,736
Look at me in the eye
when you say it!
18
00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:39,138
Adult adam: Erica had smarts
and strategy.
19
00:00:39,140 --> 00:00:44,043
Barry had trash talk
and a psychotic desire
to win no matter the game,
20
00:00:44,045 --> 00:00:45,077
Even girl talk.
21
00:00:45,079 --> 00:00:46,412
"the last digit
of your phone number
22
00:00:46,414 --> 00:00:49,415
"indicates how many boys
you will kiss."
23
00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:51,450
Six! Yes!
Girl talk!
24
00:00:51,452 --> 00:00:53,052
Adult adam:
They were worthy adversaries
25
00:00:53,054 --> 00:00:55,354
Until a new board game
changed everything.
26
00:00:55,356 --> 00:00:59,391
Check it out!
It's called
trivial pursuit.
27
00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:02,461
Yes! A new game
to dominate.
28
00:01:02,929 --> 00:01:05,197
Okay.
"sports and leisure.
29
00:01:05,199 --> 00:01:09,301
"what team has won the most
stanley cup championships?"
30
00:01:09,303 --> 00:01:11,136
(scoffs)
montreal canadians.
31
00:01:11,138 --> 00:01:14,673
Swish, baby.
This game is too easy.
32
00:01:15,041 --> 00:01:16,909
"arts and literature.
33
00:01:16,911 --> 00:01:18,544
"whose autobiographical
masterpiece
34
00:01:18,546 --> 00:01:22,181
"was entitled
long day's journey
into night?"
35
00:01:22,183 --> 00:01:23,749
Pass!
Sports again.
36
00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:26,885
Not how it works, dummy.
My turn.
37
00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:33,125
"what sailor's disease
resulted from a deficiency
of vitamin c?"
38
00:01:33,127 --> 00:01:34,626
Mmm, scurvy?
39
00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:35,394
Correct!
40
00:01:35,396 --> 00:01:38,097
Looks like someone's
gonna be tough to beat.
41
00:01:38,099 --> 00:01:39,298
Adult adam:
The game was simple.
42
00:01:39,300 --> 00:01:41,633
You either knew the answer
or you didn't,
43
00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:42,434
And barry didn't.
44
00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:46,572
For the first time ever,
the scales were tipped
firmly to erica.
45
00:01:46,574 --> 00:01:48,073
(exhales sharply)
46
00:01:48,075 --> 00:01:49,374
Oh, this one's super easy.
47
00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:52,244
"who wrote the diary
of anne frank?"
48
00:01:52,246 --> 00:01:53,812
Uh...
49
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:54,480
Uh...
50
00:01:54,482 --> 00:01:57,716
Seriously? It's called
"the diary of anne frank."
51
00:01:57,718 --> 00:02:01,086
Don't help me!
I know what the answer is!
52
00:02:01,521 --> 00:02:02,821
It's...
53
00:02:02,823 --> 00:02:04,490
It's...
54
00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:07,392
Ahhh! I hate this!
55
00:02:09,762 --> 00:02:12,064
Who's up for girl talk?
56
00:02:12,332 --> 00:02:13,499
¶ I'm twisted up inside
57
00:02:13,501 --> 00:02:18,470
¶ but nonetheless
I feel the need to say
58
00:02:19,772 --> 00:02:20,706
¶ I don't know the future
59
00:02:20,708 --> 00:02:24,109
¶ but the past keeps getting
clearer every day ¶
60
00:02:24,111 --> 00:02:27,513
Adult adam:
It was November 12,
1980 something.
61
00:02:27,515 --> 00:02:28,280
I was in gym class,
62
00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:31,683
And today's lesson to
nurture the young
blossoming athlete,
63
00:02:31,685 --> 00:02:33,218
Scooter ball.
64
00:02:33,220 --> 00:02:33,919
It was a lot like soccer
65
00:02:33,921 --> 00:02:37,489
Except with an 80% better
chance of injury.
66
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:38,724
Ahhh.
67
00:02:38,726 --> 00:02:39,391
My fingers!
68
00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:41,527
I'm so sorry!
He's hurt!
69
00:02:41,529 --> 00:02:42,227
Scoot it off!
70
00:02:42,229 --> 00:02:44,396
Adult adam:
The overlord of this
insanity was mr. Mellor,
71
00:02:44,398 --> 00:02:48,667
A gung-ho ex-jock filled
with stupid sports cliches.
72
00:02:48,669 --> 00:02:50,569
No pain, no gain!
73
00:02:50,571 --> 00:02:51,570
There is no "I" in team!
74
00:02:51,572 --> 00:02:53,906
Winners never quit!
Quitters never win!
75
00:02:53,908 --> 00:02:56,675
Adult adam:
And some of his sayings
we just found confusing.
76
00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:59,845
It is never okay
to put butter on a doughnut!
77
00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:01,480
Dance like
no one's watching!
78
00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:03,849
Love like
you've never been hurt!
79
00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:06,652
Don't trust your cousin on
a road trip with your wife.
80
00:03:06,654 --> 00:03:07,686
(whistle chirps)
all right!
81
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:12,858
Think you guys are
ready for the apex
of rubber-ball-based sports.
82
00:03:13,993 --> 00:03:14,593
Dodgeball.
83
00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:15,761
(bell tolls)
adult adam:
For kids like me,
84
00:03:15,763 --> 00:03:19,531
This was our waking
nightmare from which
there was no escape.
85
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,333
Grab a ball!
86
00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:24,036
Same teams.
On my whistle.
87
00:03:24,038 --> 00:03:24,703
This is bad.
88
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:26,705
I want the star wars theme
played at my funeral.
89
00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:28,440
What are you guys doing?
Posing for a trophy?
90
00:03:28,442 --> 00:03:30,776
Let's go!
Adult adam:
It wasn't pretty,
91
00:03:30,778 --> 00:03:32,411
But as much as dodgeball
hurt me,
92
00:03:32,413 --> 00:03:34,746
It hurt someone else
even more.
93
00:03:34,748 --> 00:03:35,347
Oh!
94
00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:36,715
My schmoopies
are home.
95
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:38,483
(kisses)
okay.
96
00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:39,751
(kisses) hmm.
97
00:03:39,753 --> 00:03:40,385
(exclaims) oh!
98
00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:42,821
Who did this to
your kissable face?
99
00:03:42,823 --> 00:03:44,957
Mom, please don't.
I'm fine.
100
00:03:44,959 --> 00:03:46,258
Who?
I want names.
101
00:03:46,260 --> 00:03:49,861
It's from dodgeball.
Mr. Mellor lives for it.
It's like his air.
102
00:03:49,863 --> 00:03:52,931
It's like a violation
of human rights.
103
00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:53,465
Here we go.
104
00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:56,201
Bevy, it's not
a rights violation.
105
00:03:56,203 --> 00:03:57,336
It's gym class.
106
00:03:57,338 --> 00:03:59,404
Well, I think
he's an animal.
107
00:03:59,406 --> 00:04:00,505
How much does it
hurt, schmoo?
108
00:04:00,507 --> 00:04:03,108
On a pain scale
from 1 to 10, how much?
109
00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:05,844
Um...
I'd say fi...
110
00:04:06,312 --> 00:04:07,913
Three...
111
00:04:08,648 --> 00:04:09,681
One? One.
112
00:04:09,683 --> 00:04:10,449
It should be zero.
113
00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:12,918
I also would have accepted
the word "nothing."
114
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,686
I'm marching down there
first thing.
115
00:04:14,688 --> 00:04:15,254
Bevy, no.
116
00:04:15,256 --> 00:04:17,389
They don't need
your angry rants
on how to educate.
117
00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:19,391
Mom, please don't
make a thing of this.
118
00:04:19,393 --> 00:04:20,726
You got to let
teachers teach.
119
00:04:20,728 --> 00:04:22,427
I don't want to be
on his bad side.
120
00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:23,295
Don't worry about him.
121
00:04:23,297 --> 00:04:26,198
He doesn't want to be
on my bad side,
122
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,567
'cause it's much badder.
123
00:04:29,469 --> 00:04:30,435
Adult adam:
It really was.
124
00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:32,537
My mom marched down
to school so often
that the teachers
125
00:04:32,539 --> 00:04:35,407
Could almost sense
she was coming.
126
00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:36,942
(door opens)
127
00:04:37,343 --> 00:04:38,510
Whoop!
128
00:04:38,512 --> 00:04:40,412
(door closes)
129
00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:42,514
(keys jingling)
130
00:04:45,718 --> 00:04:50,355
Don't worry, cinoman.
Today's not your day.
I'm here for mellor.
131
00:04:50,357 --> 00:04:52,024
Third door on the left.
132
00:04:52,392 --> 00:04:52,991
Cute top.
133
00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:56,228
You want me
to cancel dodgeball,
134
00:04:56,230 --> 00:04:59,097
One of the seven pillars
of fitness?
135
00:04:59,099 --> 00:04:59,831
What are the other six?
136
00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:04,670
Look, canceling dodgeball
would be like
canceling science.
137
00:05:04,672 --> 00:05:08,173
Is that what you want?
A world with no science?
138
00:05:08,175 --> 00:05:10,642
Why do you hate nasa?
Why?
139
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,978
I don't hate it.
They gave us tang.
140
00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:15,447
What I do hate
is dodgeball.
141
00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:16,682
Dodgeball
is an essential part
142
00:05:16,684 --> 00:05:19,017
Of strengthening
a young man's character,
143
00:05:19,019 --> 00:05:22,321
And nobody needs that
more than your son.
144
00:05:22,323 --> 00:05:23,955
(sternly)
how dare you?
145
00:05:23,957 --> 00:05:26,692
My son has the strength
and character
146
00:05:26,694 --> 00:05:28,493
Of three lou ferrignos!
147
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:31,596
How dare you invoke
lou ferrigno?
148
00:05:31,598 --> 00:05:32,397
How dare you?
149
00:05:32,399 --> 00:05:35,600
I'm not gonna stand here
and let you push me around!
150
00:05:35,602 --> 00:05:36,802
I'm not scared of you.
151
00:05:36,804 --> 00:05:37,736
Well, you should be.
152
00:05:37,738 --> 00:05:39,538
I'd think twice about this
if I were you.
153
00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:42,074
No. I will not
think at all.
154
00:05:42,076 --> 00:05:44,609
If there's any more dodgeball
in this school,
155
00:05:44,611 --> 00:05:47,412
You will regret it.
Mark my words.
156
00:05:47,414 --> 00:05:49,214
I will mark no words.
Mark them!
157
00:05:49,216 --> 00:05:51,750
Adult adam: While my mom
was putting a stop to
the game she hated,
158
00:05:51,752 --> 00:05:54,953
Barry was ready to give
the game he sucked
at another try.
159
00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:58,924
Oh, hello.
I did not see you
sitting there.
160
00:05:58,926 --> 00:05:59,758
We're not sitting.
161
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:02,060
What you're doing
is called sitting.
162
00:06:02,062 --> 00:06:03,595
Potato, potato.
163
00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:04,796
Care for a rematch, erica?
164
00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:07,766
And crush your fragile
spirit again?
165
00:06:07,768 --> 00:06:08,600
Gladly.
166
00:06:08,602 --> 00:06:11,069
Um, I don't think I want
to be here for this.
167
00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:14,506
You shall witness
the battle, old man!
168
00:06:14,607 --> 00:06:15,841
I mean...
169
00:06:15,843 --> 00:06:17,576
I cherish
our time together.
170
00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:18,777
Please, sit.
171
00:06:18,779 --> 00:06:22,514
Ooh. Science and nature.
Challenging.
172
00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:25,350
"what animal does
a hippophobe fear?"
173
00:06:25,352 --> 00:06:26,518
Horses.
174
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:28,186
The answer is horses.
175
00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:29,454
That's right.
176
00:06:29,456 --> 00:06:32,424
Yellow. Ooh.
History.
177
00:06:32,592 --> 00:06:35,093
"how many children
does queen elizabeth..."
178
00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:36,128
Four.
179
00:06:36,130 --> 00:06:36,661
(chuckles) wow.
180
00:06:36,663 --> 00:06:39,097
You sure seem to know a lot
of stuff all of a sudden.
181
00:06:39,099 --> 00:06:41,600
There's no reason
to be patronibing.
182
00:06:41,602 --> 00:06:43,168
Okay, next card.
183
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:48,173
"what city was called
the paris of the south?"
184
00:06:48,175 --> 00:06:48,874
Maya angelou.
185
00:06:48,876 --> 00:06:52,077
That's the answer
on the card you wanted me
to choose, you knob.
186
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:52,944
You're clearly cheating.
187
00:06:52,946 --> 00:06:56,648
How dare you?
I am a sportsman!
188
00:06:56,650 --> 00:06:58,483
You insult my honor!
Pops: Hey, bar,
189
00:06:58,485 --> 00:07:00,552
It's kind of
obvious you're cheating.
190
00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:03,121
I am not.
I simply memorized
the answers
191
00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:06,158
And put the cards
in a particular order
so I can win!
192
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:08,059
That's cheating!
That's preparation!
193
00:07:08,061 --> 00:07:09,094
Preparation
for cheating.
194
00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:12,597
Don't blame me!
This game is impossible
and has no point!
195
00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:14,266
What's the point
of mouse trap?
196
00:07:14,268 --> 00:07:15,534
To boot a marble down
a flight of stairs
197
00:07:15,536 --> 00:07:18,437
Onto a slide
and into a bathtub,
which, in turn,
198
00:07:18,439 --> 00:07:19,971
Another balls falls onto
a see-saw,
199
00:07:19,973 --> 00:07:21,873
Back flipping an old man
into a kiddie pool,
200
00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:25,010
Causing a trap to fall
on a mouse! Duh!
201
00:07:25,012 --> 00:07:25,577
That he knows.
202
00:07:25,579 --> 00:07:28,246
Face it, this is one game
you can't win.
203
00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:29,281
Say I'm better than you.
Say it.
204
00:07:29,283 --> 00:07:32,984
Never! I will do
everything in my power
to learn knowledge.
205
00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:36,655
I will go to school,
and I will read books,
206
00:07:36,657 --> 00:07:38,223
And I will study art,
207
00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:39,558
And I will drink in life
208
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:42,928
Just so I can beat you
at this board game!
209
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:44,229
Oh!
210
00:07:44,231 --> 00:07:48,700
He should probably
do all that stuff
regardless.
211
00:07:48,868 --> 00:07:49,901
Ladies and gentlemen,
212
00:07:49,903 --> 00:07:52,337
Due to aggressive
parental interference,
213
00:07:52,339 --> 00:07:55,240
There's been a change
in the phys-ed curriculum.
214
00:07:55,242 --> 00:07:56,675
(indistinct conversations)
215
00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:58,677
What?
Could be any of our moms.
216
00:07:58,679 --> 00:07:59,377
Effective immediately,
217
00:07:59,379 --> 00:08:02,481
There will no longer
be dodgeball in my class.
218
00:08:02,483 --> 00:08:03,281
(sighs)
instead,
219
00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:06,618
We'll play an
all-new safer,
kinder game
220
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:07,986
Called big baby ball.
221
00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:12,324
We'll choose teams
by counting off
ones and twos.
222
00:08:12,326 --> 00:08:14,092
Goldfarb, begin.
223
00:08:14,094 --> 00:08:15,594
One.
Everybody else is a two.
224
00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:18,063
Let's get the ones
on that side,
225
00:08:18,065 --> 00:08:19,698
Twos on the other.
226
00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:22,100
Mr. Mellor,
is it too late to switch
my number to two?
227
00:08:22,102 --> 00:08:25,537
Well, your mother
demanded that we play
something else,
228
00:08:25,539 --> 00:08:28,673
So you can let
her know that her voice
was heard today.
229
00:08:28,675 --> 00:08:31,576
Good luck
and cover your nards.
230
00:08:35,815 --> 00:08:37,282
Adult adam:
I was in a tight spot,
231
00:08:37,284 --> 00:08:42,220
So I decided my only choice
was to fight my way out.
232
00:08:42,222 --> 00:08:43,922
(whistle blows)
233
00:08:44,891 --> 00:08:47,526
Why?
I don't know!
234
00:08:49,495 --> 00:08:51,596
(grunts)
sorry.
235
00:08:51,598 --> 00:08:54,099
Beverly: I don't understand.
Mellor didn't cower?
236
00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:55,300
Why didn't he cower?
237
00:08:55,302 --> 00:08:56,968
It's on you, bev.
238
00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:59,538
The boy was singled out
because you mixed in.
239
00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:01,339
He's right, mom.
You made it worse.
240
00:09:01,341 --> 00:09:02,774
Why can't you
ever listen?
241
00:09:02,776 --> 00:09:03,975
You want to
protect the boy,
242
00:09:03,977 --> 00:09:06,578
And you always
end up making it
a million times worse.
243
00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:08,914
No, you're
completely right.
244
00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:11,249
I know it in my heart.
245
00:09:11,251 --> 00:09:14,553
Good. It's nice to finally
be on the same page.
246
00:09:14,555 --> 00:09:15,754
Definitely.
247
00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:17,455
What's with the coat?
248
00:09:18,090 --> 00:09:19,558
Are you marching down
to school again?
249
00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:22,994
I want to say no,
but that would be a lie.
250
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:24,563
But I thought
we're on the same page.
251
00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:25,864
We are, and yet,
here I go.
252
00:09:25,866 --> 00:09:28,700
Just stop!
Just tell your body
to stop!
253
00:09:28,702 --> 00:09:33,772
I want to.
I really want to.
But I can't.
254
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,241
I thought
we're on the same page!
255
00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:36,875
(door closes)
256
00:09:36,877 --> 00:09:41,279
And the next item
of business is scheduling
teacher conferences.
257
00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:42,814
(door opens)
258
00:09:43,616 --> 00:09:45,684
Blonde monster.
(man coughs)
259
00:09:45,686 --> 00:09:46,318
Nothing.
260
00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:48,853
Mrs. Goldberg,
this is a private meeting.
261
00:09:48,855 --> 00:09:50,822
Not anymore.
Got to go, people!
262
00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:53,124
Don't care where.
Just not here.
263
00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:55,460
Don't leave.
She looks really mad.
264
00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:57,629
I'm sorry, earl.
265
00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:03,034
Mr. Mellor is no longer with
william penn academy
266
00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:06,671
Due to a concern
raised by a parent...
267
00:10:07,073 --> 00:10:08,873
Who shall remain nameless.
268
00:10:10,309 --> 00:10:11,142
This one's tough to deny.
269
00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:13,278
Adult adam:
Thanks to my mother,
I got out of dodgeball.
270
00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:16,982
All it took
was ruining a man's life.
271
00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:22,554
Oh. Hello, again.
272
00:10:22,556 --> 00:10:23,922
I did not see you
sitting there.
273
00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:26,358
Again,
you're the one sitting.
274
00:10:26,360 --> 00:10:27,192
Potato, tomato.
275
00:10:27,194 --> 00:10:28,493
Come sit.
I've been thinking.
276
00:10:28,495 --> 00:10:33,531
We've completely lost
track of what board games
are all about...
277
00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:34,232
Family fun.
278
00:10:34,234 --> 00:10:36,668
That's why I invented
a new gaming experience
279
00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:41,106
For the whole family
to enjoy. I call it...
280
00:10:41,207 --> 00:10:42,240
Barry-nopoly.
281
00:10:42,242 --> 00:10:44,943
"do a freestyle rap
as good as big tasty
282
00:10:44,945 --> 00:10:46,511
"or nun chuck better
than barry?"
283
00:10:46,513 --> 00:10:49,247
I've made sure it caters
to all our strengths.
284
00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:52,751
For you, trivia.
Physical challenges
for myself.
285
00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:55,487
And for pops,
frequent bathroom breaks.
286
00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:56,121
I like this game.
287
00:10:56,123 --> 00:10:59,257
You actually created
a board game that
only you can win.
288
00:10:59,259 --> 00:11:00,225
Do you realize
how sad that is?
289
00:11:00,227 --> 00:11:03,695
Does this mean you forfeit
and I'm reigning champion
forever?
290
00:11:03,697 --> 00:11:04,529
No. I'll play.
291
00:11:04,531 --> 00:11:06,398
And I'll literally beat you
at your own game.
292
00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:08,633
Let's do this!
What'll it be, pops?
293
00:11:08,635 --> 00:11:11,169
Rap or an elaborate
nun chuck routine?
294
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,737
I have to go
to the bathroom.
295
00:11:12,739 --> 00:11:14,973
(bell dings)
40 bonus points
for pops!
296
00:11:14,975 --> 00:11:17,609
I really like this game.
297
00:11:17,843 --> 00:11:19,444
Okay, your turn.
298
00:11:19,812 --> 00:11:20,712
Ooh.
299
00:11:20,714 --> 00:11:22,947
"arm wrestle barry."
300
00:11:22,949 --> 00:11:23,915
Easy.
301
00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:25,383
You're so hosed.
302
00:11:25,385 --> 00:11:26,017
Am I, now?
303
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:30,321
Have you ever heard of
a little sylvester stallone
arm-wrestling drama called,
304
00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:31,022
"over the top?"
305
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:33,725
No.
Well, you're about to
live it.
306
00:11:34,226 --> 00:11:35,727
Go.
307
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:37,362
Ha!
308
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:40,699
Oh, no!
He's losing!
309
00:11:40,701 --> 00:11:42,333
Or is he?
Over the top!
310
00:11:42,335 --> 00:11:45,270
What are you doing?
Going over the top!
311
00:11:45,571 --> 00:11:47,439
What are you doing?
I'm going over the top!
312
00:11:47,441 --> 00:11:49,474
You can't go over the top!
I'm going over the top!
313
00:11:49,476 --> 00:11:51,509
I'm going over your top!
(grunts)
314
00:11:51,511 --> 00:11:54,879
Yes! Yes!
In your face!
315
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:55,680
This game is rigged!
316
00:11:55,682 --> 00:11:58,049
It's your game,
and I still beat you!
317
00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:00,185
Say it.
I'm better than you
in every way.
318
00:12:00,187 --> 00:12:02,253
Fine!
You're better than me.
319
00:12:02,255 --> 00:12:06,925
You're smart and you're cool
and everyone likes you.
320
00:12:06,927 --> 00:12:08,526
And I'm nothing.
321
00:12:09,395 --> 00:12:10,195
Congrats.
322
00:12:10,197 --> 00:12:11,196
Adult adam:
For the first time ever,
323
00:12:11,198 --> 00:12:13,598
Crushing barry didn't feel
like such a triumph.
324
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:18,303
Meanwhile, my dad
stumbled upon another man
down on his luck,
325
00:12:18,305 --> 00:12:20,438
Coach mellor.
326
00:12:20,873 --> 00:12:21,639
Oh, god.
327
00:12:21,641 --> 00:12:23,374
You need a curb
painted, hoss?
328
00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:24,242
Suggested donation $5.
329
00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:28,146
Yeah, actually,
I'm adam goldberg's
father.
330
00:12:28,447 --> 00:12:30,148
Oh.
So your wife is...
331
00:12:30,150 --> 00:12:31,616
Yeah,
blonde monster.
332
00:12:31,618 --> 00:12:33,451
Love her dearly.
333
00:12:35,488 --> 00:12:36,621
So, is this what
you're doing for money?
334
00:12:36,623 --> 00:12:38,356
For now.
Turns out there's
not a great demand
335
00:12:38,358 --> 00:12:41,559
For a phys-ed specialist
in the middle
of the school year.
336
00:12:41,561 --> 00:12:43,228
I don't mean to tell you
your business,
337
00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:46,264
But I don't think
that's the right address.
338
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:47,799
It is not.
I lost my 3.
339
00:12:47,801 --> 00:12:50,268
You know, I know my
wife can get carried
away with things,
340
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:55,073
And I just want to
let you know, I'm really
sorry about all this.
341
00:12:55,075 --> 00:12:55,573
Don't be.
342
00:12:55,575 --> 00:12:58,309
Your wife plays hard.
I respect a winner.
343
00:12:58,311 --> 00:13:01,379
She's a good woman
who does not know
the word "quit,"
344
00:13:01,381 --> 00:13:02,514
Although she does know
the word "fired."
345
00:13:02,516 --> 00:13:04,549
Can I give you
a ride somewhere?
Maybe a hot meal?
346
00:13:04,551 --> 00:13:07,752
That's very kind of you,
but I only got about
10 more blocks to go,
347
00:13:07,754 --> 00:13:10,321
And I got a fanny pack
full of turkey jerky, so...
348
00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:12,624
I told you,
I don't want the numbers!
349
00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:15,960
It's donation only!
Just pay what's fair!
350
00:13:16,929 --> 00:13:19,931
You know what?
He's getting the hose.
You better open up.
351
00:13:19,933 --> 00:13:21,933
Those are fresh numbers!
352
00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:25,637
Where's the three?
353
00:13:25,639 --> 00:13:26,271
I got to tell you,
354
00:13:26,273 --> 00:13:29,507
He's not the same guy
without the whistle
and the short-shorts.
355
00:13:29,509 --> 00:13:33,411
A guy like that belongs
in a gym yelling at kids.
It's in his blood.
356
00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:36,447
Look, I never intended
for mellor to get fired,
357
00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:39,150
But this is on him.
He singled out my boy.
358
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:42,720
Okay, he was wrong,
but you took it too far.
359
00:13:42,722 --> 00:13:46,191
Now do the right thing
and put that loose cannon
360
00:13:46,193 --> 00:13:46,991
Back in charge of children.
361
00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:50,261
I go easy on one teacher,
then the rest won't fear me.
362
00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:54,499
Fine. You won't help
the poor bastard, I will.
363
00:13:54,900 --> 00:13:56,100
What's that
supposed to mean?
364
00:13:56,102 --> 00:13:58,670
Mr. G, I really appreciate
this opportunity.
365
00:13:58,672 --> 00:14:00,738
You got my word,
I will give you 110%.
366
00:14:00,740 --> 00:14:04,609
Call me murray.
110%, that is not necessary.
367
00:14:04,611 --> 00:14:07,579
On a good day, the best vic
gives me is what? 50%?
368
00:14:07,581 --> 00:14:10,481
(laughs) there he goes,
busting balls.
369
00:14:10,483 --> 00:14:11,549
It's what we do.
370
00:14:11,551 --> 00:14:13,952
No. What we do
is sell furniture.
371
00:14:13,954 --> 00:14:15,987
Bring it in.
"furniture" on three.
372
00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:19,991
Yeah, okay,
what vic and I do is
we sell the furniture,
373
00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:24,662
And what I need you to do
is to move the coffee table
374
00:14:24,664 --> 00:14:25,997
Over by the sofa set.
375
00:14:25,999 --> 00:14:28,066
Sir, yes, sir!
Time me.
376
00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:29,234
Whoa, whoa.
It's not a race.
377
00:14:29,236 --> 00:14:32,637
Take your time.
One, two, three.
(grunts)
378
00:14:32,639 --> 00:14:33,638
Oh, whoa.
379
00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:37,675
That's oak. That's heavy.
I thought it was pine.
380
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:40,478
Excuse me, sir.
381
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,180
Excuse me.
Woman:
Is this in stock?
382
00:14:42,182 --> 00:14:45,950
Yes, it is.
And you can have that
in your house today.
383
00:14:45,952 --> 00:14:48,453
I don't know.
It's kind of pricey.
384
00:14:48,455 --> 00:14:49,821
Tell you what.
385
00:14:49,823 --> 00:14:53,091
You pay cash,
I'll take off 5%.
386
00:14:53,093 --> 00:14:54,692
I'll just come back
another time.
387
00:14:54,694 --> 00:14:56,060
There is no other time.
388
00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:58,263
Clock's winding down.
Ball's in your hands.
389
00:14:58,265 --> 00:15:00,031
You gonna put
the ball in the hole,
390
00:15:00,033 --> 00:15:01,199
Or you gonna
go home a loser?
391
00:15:01,201 --> 00:15:03,668
I don't really understand
what's happening right now.
392
00:15:03,670 --> 00:15:06,371
He's new.
We're team players
in this store.
393
00:15:06,373 --> 00:15:07,672
We don't sell to anybody
who doesn't pass the ball.
394
00:15:07,674 --> 00:15:11,776
You keep
referencing a ball.
Is it the same ball?
395
00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:13,478
Let me make it simple.
396
00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:15,213
There's no "I" in team,
man.
397
00:15:15,215 --> 00:15:18,182
We only sell to winners,
so get the (bleep) out!
398
00:15:18,184 --> 00:15:20,318
Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.
Ho, ho.
399
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:21,719
I am sorry!
400
00:15:21,721 --> 00:15:23,354
What? (panting)
401
00:15:23,356 --> 00:15:24,756
Okay. We need to talk.
402
00:15:24,758 --> 00:15:27,058
Sure thing, boss.
What are you doing?
403
00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:29,527
Taking a knee.
Just take
an early lunch.
404
00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:31,162
You got it, boss.
405
00:15:33,732 --> 00:15:35,400
Mellor: Juice time.
406
00:15:40,205 --> 00:15:41,673
Mmm.
407
00:15:42,508 --> 00:15:45,076
So many bananas
and beets.
408
00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:47,145
(sniffs) ahh.
409
00:15:47,479 --> 00:15:49,314
Let's go.
410
00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:52,517
(grunts)
411
00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:53,251
Yeah!
412
00:15:53,253 --> 00:15:56,688
Finally got some energy!
Let's go!
413
00:15:57,523 --> 00:16:01,025
So, before, that was him
without energy?
414
00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:04,562
Adult adam: After my dad's
horrible day at work,
415
00:16:04,564 --> 00:16:08,099
He had to face
an even worse night
at home.
416
00:16:08,101 --> 00:16:11,936
Hey, could I, uh,
have some ranch dressing
for my salad?
417
00:16:11,938 --> 00:16:13,972
Oh, of course, honey.
418
00:16:17,309 --> 00:16:18,509
When.
419
00:16:18,511 --> 00:16:22,180
That's what you get
for hiring the enemy
to work in our store.
420
00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:23,214
Don't worry
about mellor.
421
00:16:23,216 --> 00:16:27,919
You're not gonna
see him. He's working
all the way across town.
422
00:16:28,020 --> 00:16:28,853
Hey, boss!
423
00:16:28,855 --> 00:16:32,156
Sorry to interrupt!
It's me, rick mellor!
I work for you!
424
00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:34,525
I can see
you're eating dinner.
425
00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:36,661
Oh, is that lamb?
426
00:16:36,762 --> 00:16:38,596
That looks like lamb.
427
00:16:40,065 --> 00:16:42,667
What are you doing?
You're supposed to be
out making deliveries.
428
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:43,901
Yeah, well,
here's the thing.
429
00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:45,703
I decided to do
all this week's drop-offs
in one day.
430
00:16:45,705 --> 00:16:49,374
I told you, you can't load
that much furniture
on the truck at once.
431
00:16:49,376 --> 00:16:52,243
I thought you said that
because you believed
I couldn't do it!
432
00:16:52,245 --> 00:16:54,612
And I proved you wrong.
(chuckles)
433
00:16:54,614 --> 00:16:56,214
But I broke the truck.
434
00:16:56,216 --> 00:16:56,848
Fine. Where is it?
435
00:16:56,850 --> 00:16:59,517
It's a couple blocks down.
Address is 466.
436
00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:02,620
Although the actual address
is 366.
437
00:17:02,622 --> 00:17:04,088
Haven't been my best
this week.
438
00:17:04,090 --> 00:17:07,859
Balls!
He's come for me!
He's seeking vengeance!
439
00:17:07,861 --> 00:17:08,493
No vengeance. No.
440
00:17:08,495 --> 00:17:11,629
I just came to apologize
to your old man for
breaking his truck.
441
00:17:11,631 --> 00:17:12,797
But while
I got you here,
442
00:17:12,799 --> 00:17:16,401
I guess I owe you both
an apology myself.
443
00:17:16,403 --> 00:17:19,604
Mrs. G,
you're a strong woman,
444
00:17:19,606 --> 00:17:21,406
And I respect the hell
out of you.
445
00:17:21,408 --> 00:17:24,242
Do you? Do you?
446
00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:26,544
Thanks.
447
00:17:26,546 --> 00:17:27,612
And, adam,
448
00:17:27,614 --> 00:17:30,048
I was dead wrong
to single you out.
449
00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:32,016
The truth is,
I'm only hard on you
450
00:17:32,018 --> 00:17:33,217
'cause I'm rooting
for you.
451
00:17:33,219 --> 00:17:35,119
Really?
You know,
as you get older,
452
00:17:35,121 --> 00:17:37,555
You'll realize that
life ain't easy
453
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:39,891
And things fly at you
that are a lot harder
454
00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:42,026
Than a stupid
red rubber ball.
455
00:17:42,028 --> 00:17:46,097
And I just want you
to learn that you're
strong enough to face it
456
00:17:46,099 --> 00:17:49,267
And there's nothing
you can't overcome.
457
00:17:49,269 --> 00:17:50,134
Adult adam:
In that moment,
458
00:17:50,136 --> 00:17:54,505
I realized my biggest foe
was really my
biggest advocate.
459
00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:56,374
Well, enjoy your dinner.
460
00:17:56,376 --> 00:18:00,378
Wait. Are you hungry?
I could fix you a plate.
461
00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:01,746
A plate? Ha.
462
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:04,782
Hell, just point me
to the blender.
463
00:18:07,219 --> 00:18:10,388
Oh, hello.
I did not see you
sitting there.
464
00:18:10,390 --> 00:18:11,355
I agree.
465
00:18:11,357 --> 00:18:12,190
So, I was thinking,
466
00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:15,159
How about one more game
of trivial pursuit,
winner takes all?
467
00:18:15,161 --> 00:18:18,596
So you can take all?
No, thanks.
468
00:18:18,598 --> 00:18:20,398
Okay, how about this?
469
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:21,065
If you can beat me,
470
00:18:21,067 --> 00:18:24,469
Then trivial pursuit
is banned forever
from this house.
471
00:18:24,471 --> 00:18:25,937
Sounds awesome.
472
00:18:25,939 --> 00:18:28,639
The only problem is,
I can't win.
473
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:31,909
"who had an encounter
with the three bears?"
474
00:18:32,644 --> 00:18:33,711
Goldilocks.
475
00:18:33,713 --> 00:18:34,812
That's right.
Game on!
476
00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:36,647
Adult adam:
As fate would have it,
that game,
477
00:18:36,649 --> 00:18:40,284
Barry knew every question
my sister threw at him.
478
00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:42,120
It was as if he was suddenly
479
00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:43,788
The smartest man
on the planet.
480
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:46,691
Or erica was picking cards
from the little kid's edition,
481
00:18:46,693 --> 00:18:48,860
Suggested ages
eight through 12.
482
00:18:48,862 --> 00:18:50,962
Cookie monster! Pigeons!
483
00:18:50,964 --> 00:18:52,864
The number four. Trees.
484
00:18:52,866 --> 00:18:54,532
Purple. Turtles.
485
00:18:54,534 --> 00:18:55,133
That's the one.
486
00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:58,169
Barry: Clouds. Beanstalk.
Unicorn. Butterflies.
487
00:18:58,171 --> 00:19:01,005
Santa.
Can I get a full name
on that?
488
00:19:01,007 --> 00:19:02,807
Santa claus.
489
00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:05,610
Okay.
This one's for the win.
490
00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:10,214
"what has the
scientific formula h2o?"
491
00:19:10,382 --> 00:19:12,116
Water! It's water!
492
00:19:12,118 --> 00:19:15,486
I'm the smartest man alive!
Say I'm better than you.
493
00:19:15,488 --> 00:19:16,888
You're better than me.
494
00:19:16,890 --> 00:19:19,724
Yes! (exhaling sharply)
495
00:19:19,726 --> 00:19:21,259
Ugh. (grunts)
496
00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:22,059
Pops: Oh!
497
00:19:22,061 --> 00:19:25,163
I'm all right!
Yes!
498
00:19:25,165 --> 00:19:26,931
Way to go, kiddo.
499
00:19:26,933 --> 00:19:29,200
Yeah, well,
he needed the win.
500
00:19:29,202 --> 00:19:30,801
Adult adam:
Sometimes the best way
501
00:19:30,803 --> 00:19:31,736
To get the win is to lose,
502
00:19:31,738 --> 00:19:34,238
And other times,
you just have to
admit defeat.
503
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:38,943
Well, I would consider
bringing mr. Mellor back
504
00:19:38,945 --> 00:19:40,478
On one condition.
505
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:43,614
You don't step foot
in this school ever again.
506
00:19:43,949 --> 00:19:45,550
One year.
Deal.
507
00:19:45,552 --> 00:19:47,218
Adult adam: My mom wasn't
many things,
508
00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:49,086
But she was a woman
of her word.
509
00:19:49,088 --> 00:19:51,455
That year,
she never went back
510
00:19:51,457 --> 00:19:53,024
To school to complain.
511
00:19:53,026 --> 00:19:54,325
Yoo-hoo!
512
00:19:54,327 --> 00:19:55,526
Sorry to interrupt,
earl.
513
00:19:55,528 --> 00:19:57,628
But technically
this isn't school
514
00:19:57,630 --> 00:19:59,730
And I do have bones to pick.
515
00:19:59,732 --> 00:20:00,831
Oh, is that brisket?
516
00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:03,134
Adult adam: Although winning
never came easy to me,
517
00:20:03,136 --> 00:20:05,603
Mr. Mellor actually did
end up teaching me
518
00:20:05,605 --> 00:20:08,372
How to duck anything
life might throw at me.
519
00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:10,841
¶ victory is mine
520
00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:12,510
¶ shooting at the walls
of heartache
521
00:20:12,512 --> 00:20:15,313
¶ the warrior ¶
(grunts)
522
00:20:23,155 --> 00:20:24,789
(bell dings)
523
00:20:25,324 --> 00:20:26,857
(bell dings)
524
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:30,795
Okay.
You rolled a two.
Uh-huh.
525
00:20:30,797 --> 00:20:35,499
Now cruise down
the big tasty river
and draw a barry card.
526
00:20:35,501 --> 00:20:37,134
Oh. Your face
is on these.
527
00:20:37,136 --> 00:20:39,904
I love this game.
(chuckles)
528
00:20:39,906 --> 00:20:42,840
"roundhouse kick
better than barry."
529
00:20:42,842 --> 00:20:46,711
Better than my
kara-te master?
It can't be done.
530
00:20:46,713 --> 00:20:47,812
Right answer!
531
00:20:47,814 --> 00:20:49,013
Ooh!
50 points!
532
00:20:49,015 --> 00:20:50,648
(laughs)
533
00:20:51,483 --> 00:20:53,484
Challenge card.
534
00:20:54,052 --> 00:20:56,153
"arm wrestle barry."
535
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:58,155
Oh, we get to hold hands.
536
00:20:58,157 --> 00:21:00,691
Oh, you're even turning
your hat backwards.
537
00:21:00,693 --> 00:21:02,460
How macho.
538
00:21:03,428 --> 00:21:04,929
Go!
539
00:21:05,063 --> 00:21:06,497
(grunting)
540
00:21:07,699 --> 00:21:08,799
Over the top!
Ow!
541
00:21:08,801 --> 00:21:10,768
That's how you do it!
Oh! Oh!
542
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,403
Let's go! Let's go!
543
00:21:12,405 --> 00:21:14,572
Whoo!
You're so strong,
honey.
544
00:21:14,574 --> 00:21:18,109
(robotic voice)
I know I am so strong.
545
00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:18,709
Let's go, barry!
546
00:21:18,711 --> 00:21:20,711
Oh, I'm so proud
of you, honey,
547
00:21:20,713 --> 00:21:22,713
The way you beat mommy
like that.
548
00:21:22,715 --> 00:21:24,615
I'm the best!
549
00:21:24,617 --> 00:21:26,117
Let him win, huh?
550
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:27,618
He needs it.