1 00:00:03,903 --> 00:00:06,071 ADULT ADAM: Every kid who grew up in Philly in the '80s 2 00:00:06,073 --> 00:00:09,808 was obsessed with the Sixers, especially my brother Barry. 3 00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:11,143 Basketball was his life. 4 00:00:11,145 --> 00:00:13,345 Where's he gonna go? Is he gonna go left? 5 00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:15,214 Is he gonna go right? Hook! 6 00:00:15,216 --> 00:00:18,650 Oh, and he passes to himself off the backboard. 7 00:00:19,219 --> 00:00:21,120 Ah! Didn't count. 8 00:00:21,122 --> 00:00:21,987 (THUDS) 9 00:00:21,989 --> 00:00:23,722 Didn't count. 10 00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:25,858 He's on fire. 11 00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:27,026 You're bruising the plums. 12 00:00:27,028 --> 00:00:29,895 What do you think I'm made of, fresh produce? 13 00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:31,196 It was his passion. 14 00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:32,731 Dr. J rejects him! Barry! 15 00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:34,733 He was obsessed. It never stopped. 16 00:00:34,735 --> 00:00:38,237 (CLATTERING) Get that outta here! Yeah! 17 00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:40,639 He backs him down. He backs him down. 18 00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:42,274 It was hard to live with. 19 00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:43,776 You gotta get low! 20 00:00:43,778 --> 00:00:46,678 You gotta want it. You can't come in here soft. 21 00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:47,679 Gotta pee! 22 00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:49,715 (GRUNTING) Move! I drank a big gulp! 23 00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:53,452 My brother had one dream... Going pro. 24 00:00:53,454 --> 00:00:57,056 Three, two, one! 25 00:00:57,058 --> 00:00:58,791 At the buzzer! 26 00:00:58,793 --> 00:01:01,193 There was more time left on the clock! 27 00:01:01,195 --> 00:01:02,428 He was misinformed! 28 00:01:02,430 --> 00:01:05,697 Then he found a way to make his dream a reality. 29 00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:08,567 Mom, Dad, I have huge news. 30 00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:10,602 If you'd follow me outside to the hoop? 31 00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:11,737 No. Here's good. 32 00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:15,207 What if I told you one day there'd be a piece of technology 33 00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:19,111 that can guarantee I play professional basketball? 34 00:01:19,113 --> 00:01:21,113 Well, that day has come. 35 00:01:21,115 --> 00:01:22,548 (COMMERCIAL FANFARE PLAYING) The Reebok Pump. 36 00:01:22,550 --> 00:01:24,116 A cushion of air around the foot 37 00:01:24,118 --> 00:01:27,186 that literally allows you to defy the laws of gravity. 38 00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:32,591 And the amazing part? It's only $175. Don't say no. 39 00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:33,459 No. (MUSIC WARPS AND STOPS) 40 00:01:33,461 --> 00:01:37,796 Honey, I've got a pair of Reeboks upstairs you can have. 41 00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:38,664 Oh, really? 42 00:01:38,666 --> 00:01:40,699 Can I please borrow your beige mom sneakers? 43 00:01:40,701 --> 00:01:45,537 Listen! My dream is to be a basketball superstar, not a nurse! 44 00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:48,941 Well, here's the thing about your dream... 45 00:01:48,943 --> 00:01:50,042 It's stupid. 46 00:01:50,044 --> 00:01:50,909 You have the money. 47 00:01:50,911 --> 00:01:53,145 Just get your pants and give it to me. 48 00:01:53,147 --> 00:01:55,981 Barry, your father's pants are not a bank. 49 00:01:55,983 --> 00:01:58,283 Money comes from hard work, you moron. 50 00:01:58,285 --> 00:01:59,551 You really want those shoes, 51 00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:03,021 come down to the store and work for 'em. 52 00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:05,691 Fine! But when I get to the NBA, 53 00:02:05,693 --> 00:02:07,025 and you want my autograph, 54 00:02:07,027 --> 00:02:12,097 I'm signing it, "Worst wishes... Barry." 55 00:02:12,932 --> 00:02:13,866 ♪ I'm twisted up inside 56 00:02:13,868 --> 00:02:18,670 ♪ But nonetheless I feel the need to say 57 00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:21,173 ♪ I don't know the future 58 00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:25,677 ♪ But the past keeps getting clearer every day ♪ 59 00:02:25,745 --> 00:02:28,480 ADULT ADAM: It was October 5, 1980-something, 60 00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:30,415 and while Barry pursued his NBA dream, 61 00:02:30,417 --> 00:02:32,784 I pursued a dream of my own... 62 00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:34,386 Seeing the movie Poltergeist. 63 00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:36,255 Please, please. I'll do the dishes. 64 00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:38,824 No! You're not seeing that ghost movie. 65 00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:39,625 It's too scary for you. 66 00:02:39,627 --> 00:02:42,594 Come on! It's re-released at the Dollar Theater. 67 00:02:42,596 --> 00:02:45,230 A dollar! You love a bargain. (CHUCKLES) 68 00:02:45,232 --> 00:02:46,064 Forget it! 69 00:02:46,066 --> 00:02:49,168 Barbara Fishman's neighbor's nephew saw that movie. 70 00:02:49,170 --> 00:02:52,871 Three days later, he had a terror stroke. 71 00:02:53,273 --> 00:02:55,107 A terror stroke? Mmm-hmm. 72 00:02:55,109 --> 00:02:56,842 That's not even a thing! 73 00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:57,876 You can see this movie. 74 00:02:57,878 --> 00:02:59,111 ADAM: "The Great Mouse Detective?" 75 00:02:59,113 --> 00:03:01,413 (SINGSONGY) He's got a little magnifying glass. 76 00:03:01,415 --> 00:03:03,382 Ooh, take Pops. He loves talking animals. 77 00:03:03,384 --> 00:03:08,487 And here is a little extra money for something sweet. 78 00:03:08,555 --> 00:03:10,756 Now how about a little somethin' sweet for me? 79 00:03:10,758 --> 00:03:13,392 Mom, do we have to do this every morning? 80 00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:15,861 It's been four days since I've gotten a huggie. 81 00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:18,664 I'm jonesin'. I need my fix. 82 00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:20,299 (CHUCKLES) 83 00:03:20,301 --> 00:03:22,434 Ooh... 84 00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:24,736 What are you doing? What is this? 85 00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:25,537 You wanted a hug. 86 00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:28,574 Who hugs like that? At least put some arm into it. 87 00:03:28,576 --> 00:03:31,210 This is what I got. Oh... 88 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:32,511 Go. 89 00:03:32,513 --> 00:03:35,247 Even though my mom was being denied the affection she wanted, 90 00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:38,517 I wasn't about to be denied Poltergeist. 91 00:03:38,519 --> 00:03:40,586 Thanks again for bringing me. 92 00:03:40,588 --> 00:03:41,286 Of course. 93 00:03:41,288 --> 00:03:45,791 Popcorn, milk duds, a Mouse Detective... 94 00:03:45,793 --> 00:03:47,025 What's not to like? 95 00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:49,795 Um... (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) 96 00:03:49,862 --> 00:03:52,531 The mouse stuff comes at the end... 97 00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:54,266 After the ghosts. 98 00:03:54,268 --> 00:03:55,033 I felt awful for lying, 99 00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:58,971 but how scary could the movie really be? 100 00:04:02,342 --> 00:04:05,377 Turns out, it was scary! 101 00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:08,180 Really scary! 102 00:04:11,384 --> 00:04:15,020 Really, really scary! 103 00:04:17,056 --> 00:04:19,491 (AUDIENCE MURMURING) 104 00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:25,330 Where the (BLEEP) was the mouse? 105 00:04:25,332 --> 00:04:28,467 Okay, so you got your love seats over there, 106 00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:31,136 uh, sectionals over there. 107 00:04:31,138 --> 00:04:32,804 That's a divan. 108 00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:35,574 Hey, Vic, say hello to my son. 109 00:04:35,576 --> 00:04:37,743 What? Little baby Barry? 110 00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:38,277 Get outta here! 111 00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:39,645 That's a good-looking kid there, Mur. 112 00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:42,014 He must get it from his mom! (LAUGHS) (FORCED LAUGH) 113 00:04:42,016 --> 00:04:45,550 Where does Vic Jr. get it from, Carl down at the loading dock? 114 00:04:45,552 --> 00:04:47,352 Oh, man, come on! (LAUGHS) 115 00:04:47,354 --> 00:04:49,454 That's part of the job. We bust balls. 116 00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:51,757 Yeah, Vic. You sad old loser. 117 00:04:51,759 --> 00:04:52,591 (LAUGHS) Hey, what? 118 00:04:52,593 --> 00:04:54,626 You know what? He's new. He's new. 119 00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:57,062 Let's just get to work. All right. 120 00:04:57,064 --> 00:04:59,531 So this is what we do all day? 121 00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:01,700 It's pretty cool. No, no, no, no. 122 00:05:01,702 --> 00:05:04,770 This is what I do all day, okay? 123 00:05:04,772 --> 00:05:05,837 You sweep. 124 00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:08,073 And then you move some furniture, 125 00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:09,508 and you sweep around that. 126 00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:10,475 I'll see you for lunch. 127 00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:13,979 Ah. I see what you're trying to do. 128 00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:15,047 You're trying to break me. 129 00:05:15,049 --> 00:05:17,716 Well, you can't break me, old man. 130 00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:19,351 I'll sweep your floor, and you know why? 131 00:05:19,353 --> 00:05:23,789 'Cause nobody gets to the NBA without a struggle. 132 00:05:24,090 --> 00:05:26,291 (EXHALES) Struggle away. 133 00:05:28,394 --> 00:05:30,662 Vic? A little help here? 134 00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:31,496 Hell, no. 135 00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:32,397 (RATTLING) (WIND WHISTLING) 136 00:05:32,399 --> 00:05:34,199 Sure, I knew Poltergeist was just a movie... (TAPPING) 137 00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:39,171 But when night came, it seemed pretty freakin' real! 138 00:05:43,576 --> 00:05:45,544 (CACKLING) 139 00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:48,447 (CACKLING CONTINUES) 140 00:05:48,748 --> 00:05:49,815 (CACKLING FADES) 141 00:05:49,817 --> 00:05:51,783 I just can't stop thinking about that movie. 142 00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:53,518 It's really gone to my head, Pops. 143 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:56,822 Aw, buddy. It's all make-believe. 144 00:05:56,824 --> 00:05:57,956 It's not. 145 00:05:57,958 --> 00:05:58,924 Ghosts are real. 146 00:05:58,926 --> 00:06:00,792 They're what keep the Ghostbusters employed. 147 00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:03,695 You got nothing to be afraid of. 148 00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:06,198 Now go get some rest. 149 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,400 Okay. Good night. 150 00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:10,268 In my head, I knew Pops was right, 151 00:06:10,270 --> 00:06:14,406 but the rest of me was not gonna take any chances. 152 00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:16,675 (BUTTON CLICKS) (WHIRRING) 153 00:06:16,677 --> 00:06:19,478 Desperate times called for desperate measures. 154 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:22,080 (WHISPERING) Mom? I have a tummy ache. 155 00:06:22,082 --> 00:06:26,151 (LOWERED VOICE) Oh, sweetie. Do you need to make? 156 00:06:26,285 --> 00:06:28,186 No! But... 157 00:06:28,287 --> 00:06:30,322 Can I sleep here tonight? 158 00:06:30,324 --> 00:06:32,157 Yeah, sure. 159 00:06:35,661 --> 00:06:36,294 I had given in. 160 00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:38,830 For one night, my mom would get the snuggles 161 00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:41,900 she so desperately craved. 162 00:06:44,303 --> 00:06:45,404 And then morning came. 163 00:06:45,406 --> 00:06:49,141 How's the tum-tum? It's fine. I'm fine. 164 00:06:49,475 --> 00:06:51,243 I gotta go. 165 00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:54,179 See ya! 166 00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:54,813 (SCOFFS) Okay. 167 00:06:54,815 --> 00:06:57,215 (DOOR OPENS) Oh, Adam, you forgot your jacket. 168 00:06:57,217 --> 00:06:59,518 Don't need it! (DOOR CLOSES) 169 00:07:00,653 --> 00:07:01,253 "Poltergeist"? 170 00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:05,657 I told him not to see that movie. Unbelievable! 171 00:07:05,858 --> 00:07:06,925 He's scared. 172 00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,860 That's why he wants snuggies. 173 00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:10,996 Hey, if you're looking for some snuggies, I... 174 00:07:10,998 --> 00:07:11,963 You're not going to that party. 175 00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:15,033 You never let me do... (CLENCHES TEETH) Anything! 176 00:07:15,701 --> 00:07:16,568 Ugh! 177 00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:17,669 That's when my mom realized 178 00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:19,638 she had found the ticket to all the snuggies 179 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:22,174 she could ever want. (DOOR CLOSES) 180 00:07:23,843 --> 00:07:25,610 (DOOR CREAKS) 181 00:07:30,550 --> 00:07:31,249 Mom? 182 00:07:31,251 --> 00:07:34,419 You didn't put this clown here, did you? 183 00:07:34,421 --> 00:07:35,253 Yes, Adam. 184 00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:37,456 After running errands, cooking dinner, 185 00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:39,458 and cleaning the house, I had lots of time 186 00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:40,892 to futz around with a clown. 187 00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:43,395 Okay, okay. Jeez. 188 00:07:43,397 --> 00:07:46,298 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) 189 00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:56,308 Mom? I have a tummy ache! 190 00:07:56,310 --> 00:08:00,078 Little did I know the scariest thing in this house 191 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:03,014 was lying right next to me. 192 00:08:04,917 --> 00:08:06,785 After a grueling week of manual labor, 193 00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:11,156 the day Barry had been waiting for had arrived... 194 00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:12,891 Payday. 195 00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:17,095 $33.27? 196 00:08:17,530 --> 00:08:20,098 Is this some sick joke? 197 00:08:20,533 --> 00:08:21,566 Oh. 198 00:08:21,568 --> 00:08:23,768 You're just busting balls, huh? 199 00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:25,370 This is a joke paycheck. 200 00:08:25,372 --> 00:08:27,205 I wish I was busting balls. 201 00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:27,973 Welcome to the real world. 202 00:08:27,975 --> 00:08:31,576 I know I made more than this. Why is it so low? 203 00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:32,744 Taxes! 204 00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:35,914 You got federal, state, Social Security, FICA. 205 00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:39,985 What are you talking about? Those aren't real things. 206 00:08:39,987 --> 00:08:40,752 Did you ever go to school? 207 00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:42,921 Taxes? Those are totally real things. 208 00:08:42,923 --> 00:08:44,256 Just let me become a salesman. 209 00:08:44,258 --> 00:08:46,358 I can make more if I work on commission. 210 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:48,293 You? You're not ready. 211 00:08:48,295 --> 00:08:49,828 There's a customer right there. 212 00:08:49,830 --> 00:08:51,429 Just let me go sell him the pink couch? 213 00:08:51,431 --> 00:08:52,931 It's a salmon love seat. 214 00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:55,567 It's been there for five years. 215 00:08:55,569 --> 00:08:56,368 In un-sellable. 216 00:08:56,370 --> 00:08:58,103 I'm gonna move him over to the sectionals. 217 00:08:58,105 --> 00:09:02,173 You stay over here and continue your fine broom work. 218 00:09:04,143 --> 00:09:07,579 Sir, just so you know, we have financing. 219 00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:10,248 Bad credit, no credit... No problem. 220 00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:12,617 Thanks. I'm not gonna make any final decisions today, so... 221 00:09:12,619 --> 00:09:15,086 Today is not a day for final decisions. 222 00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:18,456 I'm with you. Take your time. 223 00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:21,159 What are you doing? Sorry. I had a phone call. 224 00:09:21,161 --> 00:09:22,260 I didn't hear the phone ring. 225 00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:25,163 Oh, it rang. It was Ron Jaworski. 226 00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:26,831 Said he wants this couch. 227 00:09:26,833 --> 00:09:29,935 Ron Jaworski? The Eagles quarterback? 228 00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:31,603 Dude. 229 00:09:32,171 --> 00:09:34,272 (CHUCKLES) Dude! Dude! 230 00:09:34,373 --> 00:09:35,240 Dude. Dude? 231 00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:39,477 Dude. He literally just called. 232 00:09:39,545 --> 00:09:40,645 I want this couch. 233 00:09:40,647 --> 00:09:42,280 Mmm... No can do. 234 00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:44,382 Ronnie J. just put this on reserve. 235 00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:45,984 What if I pay cash? 236 00:09:46,819 --> 00:09:48,286 Murray? 237 00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:54,125 You know what? I'll handle Big Ron. 238 00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:56,394 You, sir, have got yourself a deal. 239 00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:58,196 (GASPS) Thank you. 240 00:09:58,198 --> 00:10:00,298 No doubt about it. Barry was a natural. 241 00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:04,703 Meanwhile, I was still dealing with the supernatural. 242 00:10:04,705 --> 00:10:06,071 (TV TURNS ON) 243 00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:08,473 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) 244 00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:10,342 (STATIC HISSING) 245 00:10:12,912 --> 00:10:15,046 (STATIC HISSING) 246 00:10:19,185 --> 00:10:19,751 (SHIVERING) 247 00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:21,319 (DOOR CLOSES) (PANTING) Mom... 248 00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:24,055 Oh! What's this about? (GASPS) 249 00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:26,925 (WHISPERS) Tummy ache. Okay. 250 00:10:27,026 --> 00:10:28,660 Why don't you, uh, run upstairs, 251 00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:31,229 and I'll be there in a minute, okay? (EXHALES) 252 00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:32,998 It's fine. 253 00:10:35,234 --> 00:10:35,867 Wow! 254 00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:36,868 (DOOR CLOSES) (GROANS) 255 00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:39,537 You scared me. That's not cool. 256 00:10:39,539 --> 00:10:43,775 Not cool, huh? Why'd you take the remote outside? 257 00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:44,743 It's not what you think. 258 00:10:44,745 --> 00:10:48,880 I think you're scaring Adam so he'll give you hugs. 259 00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:50,882 It might be what you think. 260 00:10:50,884 --> 00:10:52,117 But is that so wrong? 261 00:10:52,119 --> 00:10:55,286 Yes, it's wrong! Very, very wrong. 262 00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:56,321 Well, it would have never come to this 263 00:10:56,323 --> 00:11:00,458 if I didn't have to beg for affection from my own children. 264 00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:01,026 Here we go. 265 00:11:01,028 --> 00:11:02,093 I used to walk through that door, 266 00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:05,497 and you would all come running and jump into my arms. 267 00:11:05,499 --> 00:11:08,700 And then you stopped. And Barry stopped. 268 00:11:08,702 --> 00:11:10,802 Adam's all I have left. And if he stops, 269 00:11:10,804 --> 00:11:12,203 no one's ever gonna hug me again. 270 00:11:12,205 --> 00:11:15,407 (SCOFFS) You know I'm gonna have to tell Adam, right? 271 00:11:15,409 --> 00:11:15,840 Don't! 272 00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:20,612 Just one more night of snugs, and I'll never do it again. I promise. 273 00:11:20,614 --> 00:11:23,314 I suppose I could forget the whole thing 274 00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:26,317 if you let me stay out insanely late this weekend. 275 00:11:26,319 --> 00:11:27,085 Deal. Really? 276 00:11:27,087 --> 00:11:28,486 Please. Like you were gonna come home 277 00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:31,156 when I wanted anyway? True. 278 00:11:31,757 --> 00:11:32,624 I feel good about this. 279 00:11:32,626 --> 00:11:34,726 My mother wasn't the only one feeling good. 280 00:11:34,728 --> 00:11:36,494 Over the next week, Barry proved himself to be 281 00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:40,231 not only a great salesman, but a real visionary. (TELEPHONE RINGING) 282 00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:42,600 Mix the duck sauce with the hot mustard 283 00:11:42,602 --> 00:11:43,802 and dip your egg roll in it. 284 00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:45,770 That's crazy! Who does that? 285 00:11:45,772 --> 00:11:49,808 Just do it. You'll like it, you big baby. 286 00:11:49,975 --> 00:11:51,676 (CRUNCHES) 287 00:11:51,777 --> 00:11:53,645 I don't like it. 288 00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:55,013 I love it! 289 00:11:55,015 --> 00:11:56,548 Hey, Barry, there's a woman on the phone 290 00:11:56,550 --> 00:11:58,717 who said that you set aside two nightstands for her? 291 00:11:58,719 --> 00:12:02,320 Yep. And set aside a one-night stand for your wife. 292 00:12:02,322 --> 00:12:03,388 Wha... 293 00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:05,090 Just busting balls. 294 00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:06,257 It's what we do. 295 00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:09,728 Come on. (LAUGHS) That's what we do. 296 00:12:10,329 --> 00:12:11,329 BOTH: I'm home! 297 00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:13,598 Nobody bother me! 298 00:12:14,867 --> 00:12:15,900 But my dad began to notice 299 00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:18,803 that success was changing Barry, 300 00:12:18,805 --> 00:12:22,040 and not all for the good. 301 00:12:22,042 --> 00:12:22,941 (SIGHS) 302 00:12:22,943 --> 00:12:24,242 That's the stuff. 303 00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:25,043 What the hell are you doing? 304 00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:29,514 Get out of my chair, go outside, play basketball. 305 00:12:29,516 --> 00:12:30,548 Or something. 306 00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:31,916 Ah, screw basketball. 307 00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:34,285 It was a stupid dream. You were right. 308 00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:37,789 But furniture? That's where it's at. 309 00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:39,724 Oh, look at you! 310 00:12:39,726 --> 00:12:42,827 Ha ha! You're a mini Murray! 311 00:12:42,829 --> 00:12:45,396 Chip off the old block. 312 00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:47,098 He really was, 313 00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:50,268 and my dad suddenly realized he didn't like it one bit. 314 00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:54,672 So he decided to handle it the only way he knew how. 315 00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:56,040 You're fired. 316 00:12:56,042 --> 00:12:57,642 What? Why? 317 00:12:57,644 --> 00:12:58,409 It's not working out. 318 00:12:58,411 --> 00:13:01,079 Yes, it is. It's working out awesome. 319 00:13:01,081 --> 00:13:02,714 You just can't randomly fire me. 320 00:13:02,716 --> 00:13:04,015 I mean, you have to have cause. 321 00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:07,352 Okay. It's 'cause you're a moron. 322 00:13:07,354 --> 00:13:08,887 No. This is not happening. 323 00:13:08,889 --> 00:13:13,091 In fact, I fire you. That's right, you're fired. 324 00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:14,759 You don't have to go. No. No, no, no. 325 00:13:14,761 --> 00:13:16,094 You guys leave and come to my store instead. 326 00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:18,296 He doesn't have a store. Oh, yes, I do have a store. 327 00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,231 I'm opening one right across the street. 328 00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:21,866 He's not opening across the street. 329 00:13:21,868 --> 00:13:23,268 I just did! No, you didn't. 330 00:13:23,270 --> 00:13:25,603 And Ron Jaworski's really gonna go there... 331 00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:26,805 You don't know Ron Jaworski. 332 00:13:26,807 --> 00:13:28,873 And people are gonna treat each other nicely. 333 00:13:28,875 --> 00:13:32,577 It's gonna be a friendly working environment! 334 00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:35,580 Who's coming with me, huh? 335 00:13:35,681 --> 00:13:36,581 You! Vic, 336 00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:39,450 I'm doubling your salary. You work for me now. 337 00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:41,686 Wait, for real? For real, for real. 338 00:13:41,688 --> 00:13:43,888 No, he's not going with you. 339 00:13:43,890 --> 00:13:45,723 Toodle-oo! 340 00:13:46,725 --> 00:13:47,959 His store sounds nice. 341 00:13:47,961 --> 00:13:50,995 His store isn't real! (DOOR CLOSES) 342 00:13:52,464 --> 00:13:55,166 My dad was hoping by the time he got home from work, 343 00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:56,935 the Barry incident would have blown over. 344 00:13:56,937 --> 00:14:00,138 But in our house, things just blow up. 345 00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:02,340 You fired your own son? 346 00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:03,174 Oh, boy. 347 00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:04,709 Damn right he fired me. 348 00:14:04,711 --> 00:14:07,812 And you know why? 'Cause he's jealous. 349 00:14:07,814 --> 00:14:10,415 That's right. I sold the pink couch. 350 00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:11,149 And for a brief moment, 351 00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:14,652 you got to see what a good furniture salesman looks like. 352 00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:17,255 This. Yeah. soak it in. 353 00:14:17,257 --> 00:14:21,693 Okay. We're done yelling. Let's all just calm down. 354 00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:22,427 Oh, I'm done. 355 00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:25,129 I'm done with you, I'm done with the store, 356 00:14:25,131 --> 00:14:27,065 and I'm done with furniture... Forever! 357 00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:29,968 What does that even mean? I reject all furniture! 358 00:14:29,970 --> 00:14:32,804 I'm going up to my room and getting rid of everything. 359 00:14:32,806 --> 00:14:35,673 I'll never be comfortable again. 360 00:14:38,244 --> 00:14:40,411 (WHEELS RATTLING ON GROUND) 361 00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:48,753 What are you doing? 362 00:14:48,755 --> 00:14:52,223 Rejecting all furniture. What are you doing? 363 00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:54,893 There's a ghost in the TV. 364 00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:56,461 That's just stupid. 365 00:15:00,966 --> 00:15:02,700 Thanks for sleeping over, Pops. 366 00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:05,103 I'm sorry I didn't come sooner, kiddo. 367 00:15:05,105 --> 00:15:08,940 No man should have to bunk up with his mom for a week. 368 00:15:08,942 --> 00:15:09,474 No man. 369 00:15:09,476 --> 00:15:11,142 But what happens when you leave? 370 00:15:11,144 --> 00:15:12,944 You can't protect me forever. 371 00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:15,513 But this watch sure can. 372 00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:19,584 My grandpa Irv gave me this just before I shipped off to France, 373 00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:22,720 and he told me as long as I kept it with me, 374 00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:26,457 nothing bad would happen, and he was right. 375 00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:27,859 Boom. 376 00:15:27,861 --> 00:15:28,960 (EXHALES) 377 00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:31,029 Thanks. I feel better already. 378 00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:34,065 (VOICE WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY) 379 00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:35,366 What the hell is that? 380 00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:36,501 (WHISPERING CONTINUES) 381 00:15:36,503 --> 00:15:38,303 It came from inside the trunk. 382 00:15:38,305 --> 00:15:40,071 (WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY) 383 00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:40,838 (IN DEEP VOICE) Evil! 384 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:42,573 (WHISPERING) Beverly, what are you doing? 385 00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:44,275 (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) 386 00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:45,977 (GASPS) It keeps coming back! 387 00:15:45,979 --> 00:15:48,546 (PANTS) There's gotta be a rational explanation for this. 388 00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:52,784 Of course there is! My toy chest is a portal to hell! 389 00:15:52,786 --> 00:15:53,851 (WHISPERING RESUMES) 390 00:15:53,853 --> 00:15:58,022 Aha! That's the explanation! 391 00:15:58,024 --> 00:16:00,391 My walkie-talkie? 392 00:16:01,226 --> 00:16:02,593 You! What's the matter, pooh? 393 00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:04,395 Don't you "pooh" me. Don't you "pooh" him. 394 00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:07,999 There is a monster in this house, and it's you. 395 00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:09,567 You're the monster. 396 00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:11,703 If that's what you really think of me, 397 00:16:11,705 --> 00:16:14,539 then I have failed as a mother. 398 00:16:14,673 --> 00:16:16,441 (STATIC) 399 00:16:17,609 --> 00:16:19,344 Well, you lied, too. 400 00:16:19,346 --> 00:16:21,112 I told you not to see that movie, 401 00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:21,813 and you did it anyway. 402 00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:24,382 And you shouldn't have let him see something so scary. 403 00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:28,186 Not my fault. That movie was wildly mis-titled. 404 00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:31,289 There was neither a mouse nor a detective. 405 00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:33,257 I hope you enjoyed the hugs while they lasted, 406 00:16:33,259 --> 00:16:34,692 'cause I got news for you, woman. 407 00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:37,528 As of this moment, I'll never snug you again. 408 00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:39,130 Ever! 409 00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:43,067 After a week of being scared by my own mother, 410 00:16:43,069 --> 00:16:47,138 what I just said terrified her to the core. 411 00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:49,307 (SIGHS) I can't believe I'm losing sleep 412 00:16:49,309 --> 00:16:50,541 over that damn kid. 413 00:16:50,543 --> 00:16:51,976 (CLICKS TONGUE) (SIGHS) 414 00:16:51,978 --> 00:16:52,944 Adam's never forgiving me, 415 00:16:52,946 --> 00:16:56,080 but you could still patch things up with Barry. 416 00:16:56,082 --> 00:16:57,982 Just hire him back. 417 00:16:58,083 --> 00:16:58,516 I can't! 418 00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:03,955 The last thing I want is that kid peddling furniture for the rest of his life. 419 00:17:03,957 --> 00:17:05,123 I want more for him. 420 00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:06,924 Why didn't you tell him that? 421 00:17:06,926 --> 00:17:09,227 Eh, he... He knows. 422 00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:10,595 Murray. 423 00:17:10,597 --> 00:17:11,996 Fine! 424 00:17:12,231 --> 00:17:13,631 Fine. 425 00:17:14,833 --> 00:17:16,300 We're bad parents, aren't we? 426 00:17:16,302 --> 00:17:19,604 We're not great, that's for sure. 427 00:17:19,606 --> 00:17:21,839 But who really is? 428 00:17:21,907 --> 00:17:22,607 Well... 429 00:17:22,609 --> 00:17:26,110 Ah. The blond people down the block. 430 00:17:26,112 --> 00:17:27,912 The ones with all the bikes. 431 00:17:27,914 --> 00:17:29,680 They're making it work. 432 00:17:29,682 --> 00:17:33,084 Oh. At least we have each other. 433 00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:36,054 Yeah, you can't scare me away. 434 00:17:37,623 --> 00:17:39,390 (EXHALES) 435 00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:46,464 Here. 436 00:17:46,466 --> 00:17:49,700 I know you love Bill Murray and you wanted to see Stripes 437 00:17:49,702 --> 00:17:51,502 and I wouldn't let you. 438 00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:54,238 Um... It's playing at the Dollar Theater. 439 00:17:54,706 --> 00:17:56,374 Not interested. 440 00:17:56,442 --> 00:17:59,010 I hear they show boobs. 441 00:17:59,378 --> 00:18:01,079 How many? 442 00:18:01,547 --> 00:18:03,381 I'm sorry I scared you. 443 00:18:03,383 --> 00:18:07,118 But you were so warm and snuggy, and... 444 00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:08,519 I miss it. 445 00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:12,056 I just need a hug, and when I don't get it, 446 00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:14,192 I do bad things. 447 00:18:16,195 --> 00:18:17,295 Fine. 448 00:18:17,297 --> 00:18:19,030 One hug a week. 449 00:18:19,032 --> 00:18:21,999 One a day, Monday through Friday, weekends off. 450 00:18:22,001 --> 00:18:22,867 Every other day, two seconds max. 451 00:18:22,869 --> 00:18:27,238 Five seconds. Three and a half seconds. That's my final offer. 452 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:28,639 Deal. 453 00:18:29,374 --> 00:18:32,243 (HERE I GO AGAIN PLAYING) 454 00:18:44,189 --> 00:18:45,890 That one's free. 455 00:18:47,192 --> 00:18:49,460 (KNOCKS) BARRY: What? 456 00:18:50,028 --> 00:18:52,396 Go away. Not talking to you. 457 00:18:52,398 --> 00:18:55,533 That's okay. I'll do the talking. 458 00:18:55,535 --> 00:18:58,503 Why? Did Mom send you here? 459 00:18:58,505 --> 00:19:00,304 Of course she did. 460 00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:05,109 All right. Uh... When I was your age, 461 00:19:05,511 --> 00:19:09,080 my dad, he wasn't around much. 462 00:19:09,082 --> 00:19:11,415 I had nobody looking out for me. 463 00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:14,018 So I had no direction. 464 00:19:14,319 --> 00:19:16,020 Boy, if I hadn't met your mother, 465 00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:18,689 I don't know where I'd be today. 466 00:19:18,691 --> 00:19:22,693 And then Pops gave me a job at the store, 467 00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:25,997 and, uh, suddenly I'm a guy 468 00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:29,233 with a family and a future. 469 00:19:29,235 --> 00:19:30,601 What I'm trying to say is 470 00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:36,040 for me, selling furniture was...was a big deal. 471 00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:38,376 But I want more for you. 472 00:19:40,712 --> 00:19:45,183 ♪ So I keep searching for an answer 473 00:19:45,751 --> 00:19:46,217 No. 474 00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:50,555 ♪ Never seem to find what I'm looking for 475 00:19:52,257 --> 00:19:54,025 No way. 476 00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:56,694 The Reebok Pumps? For real? 477 00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:58,529 I thought you said my dream was stupid. 478 00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:03,167 Yeah, well, you're just the moron to pull it off. 479 00:20:03,169 --> 00:20:04,735 Oh, my goodness! 480 00:20:04,737 --> 00:20:07,471 ♪ The lonely street of dreams 481 00:20:07,473 --> 00:20:12,009 ♪ And here I go again on my own 482 00:20:12,144 --> 00:20:17,582 ♪ Going down the only road I've ever known 483 00:20:17,816 --> 00:20:22,453 ♪ Like a drifter, I was born to walk alone 484 00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:28,059 ♪ And I've made up my mind 485 00:20:29,261 --> 00:20:33,397 ♪ I ain't wastin' no more time 486 00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:34,265 (THUD) 487 00:20:34,267 --> 00:20:35,600 (MUSIC STOPS) (GASPS) 488 00:20:35,602 --> 00:20:38,569 MURRAY: Thank God he can sell furniture. 489 00:20:40,505 --> 00:20:42,974 Welcome to my house. 490 00:20:44,409 --> 00:20:45,476 (GRUNTING) 491 00:20:45,478 --> 00:20:48,179 Ain't no one gonna stop Barry. Uh! 492 00:20:50,315 --> 00:20:52,350 Swish, baby! 493 00:20:54,620 --> 00:20:56,020 Swish, baby! 494 00:20:56,022 --> 00:20:57,955 Lefty. Lefty. 495 00:20:59,157 --> 00:21:01,092 Swish, baby! 496 00:21:06,465 --> 00:21:08,032 Swish, baby! 497 00:21:08,467 --> 00:21:10,334 Basketball. 498 00:21:13,805 --> 00:21:15,673 That was... That was fantastic! 499 00:21:15,675 --> 00:21:20,344 He... He made a shot from the end of the driveway! 500 00:21:23,181 --> 00:21:24,682 Thank you.