1
00:00:03,903 --> 00:00:06,071
ADULT ADAM:
Every kid who grew up
in Philly in the '80s
2
00:00:06,073 --> 00:00:09,808
was obsessed with the Sixers,
especially my brother Barry.
3
00:00:09,810 --> 00:00:11,143
Basketball was his life.
4
00:00:11,145 --> 00:00:13,345
Where's he gonna go?
Is he gonna go left?
5
00:00:13,347 --> 00:00:15,214
Is he gonna go right?
Hook!
6
00:00:15,216 --> 00:00:18,650
Oh, and he passes
to himself
off the backboard.
7
00:00:19,219 --> 00:00:21,120
Ah! Didn't count.
8
00:00:21,122 --> 00:00:21,987
(THUDS)
9
00:00:21,989 --> 00:00:23,722
Didn't count.
10
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:25,858
He's on fire.
11
00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:27,026
You're bruising
the plums.
12
00:00:27,028 --> 00:00:29,895
What do you think
I'm made of,
fresh produce?
13
00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:31,196
It was his passion.
14
00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:32,731
Dr. J rejects him!
Barry!
15
00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:34,733
He was obsessed.
It never stopped.
16
00:00:34,735 --> 00:00:38,237
(CLATTERING)
Get that outta here!
Yeah!
17
00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:40,639
He backs him down.
He backs him down.
18
00:00:40,641 --> 00:00:42,274
It was hard to live with.
19
00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:43,776
You gotta get low!
20
00:00:43,778 --> 00:00:46,678
You gotta want it.
You can't come
in here soft.
21
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:47,679
Gotta pee!
22
00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:49,715
(GRUNTING)
Move! I drank a big gulp!
23
00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:53,452
My brother had one dream...
Going pro.
24
00:00:53,454 --> 00:00:57,056
Three, two, one!
25
00:00:57,058 --> 00:00:58,791
At the buzzer!
26
00:00:58,793 --> 00:01:01,193
There was more time
left on the clock!
27
00:01:01,195 --> 00:01:02,428
He was misinformed!
28
00:01:02,430 --> 00:01:05,697
Then he found a way
to make his dream a reality.
29
00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:08,567
Mom, Dad,
I have huge news.
30
00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:10,602
If you'd follow me
outside to the hoop?
31
00:01:10,604 --> 00:01:11,737
No.
Here's good.
32
00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:15,207
What if I told you
one day there'd be
a piece of technology
33
00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:19,111
that can guarantee I play
professional basketball?
34
00:01:19,113 --> 00:01:21,113
Well, that day has come.
35
00:01:21,115 --> 00:01:22,548
(COMMERCIAL FANFARE PLAYING)
The Reebok Pump.
36
00:01:22,550 --> 00:01:24,116
A cushion of air
around the foot
37
00:01:24,118 --> 00:01:27,186
that literally allows you
to defy the laws of gravity.
38
00:01:27,188 --> 00:01:32,591
And the amazing part?
It's only $175.
Don't say no.
39
00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:33,459
No.
(MUSIC WARPS AND STOPS)
40
00:01:33,461 --> 00:01:37,796
Honey, I've got a pair
of Reeboks upstairs
you can have.
41
00:01:37,798 --> 00:01:38,664
Oh, really?
42
00:01:38,666 --> 00:01:40,699
Can I please borrow
your beige mom sneakers?
43
00:01:40,701 --> 00:01:45,537
Listen! My dream is to be
a basketball superstar,
not a nurse!
44
00:01:45,539 --> 00:01:48,941
Well, here's the thing
about your dream...
45
00:01:48,943 --> 00:01:50,042
It's stupid.
46
00:01:50,044 --> 00:01:50,909
You have the money.
47
00:01:50,911 --> 00:01:53,145
Just get your pants
and give it to me.
48
00:01:53,147 --> 00:01:55,981
Barry, your father's pants
are not a bank.
49
00:01:55,983 --> 00:01:58,283
Money comes from hard work,
you moron.
50
00:01:58,285 --> 00:01:59,551
You really want
those shoes,
51
00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:03,021
come down to the store
and work for 'em.
52
00:02:03,023 --> 00:02:05,691
Fine! But when I get
to the NBA,
53
00:02:05,693 --> 00:02:07,025
and you want
my autograph,
54
00:02:07,027 --> 00:02:12,097
I'm signing it,
"Worst wishes... Barry."
55
00:02:12,932 --> 00:02:13,866
♪ I'm twisted up inside
56
00:02:13,868 --> 00:02:18,670
♪ But nonetheless
I feel the need to say
57
00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:21,173
♪ I don't know the future
58
00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:25,677
♪ But the past keeps getting
clearer every day ♪
59
00:02:25,745 --> 00:02:28,480
ADULT ADAM: It was October 5,
1980-something,
60
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:30,415
and while Barry pursued
his NBA dream,
61
00:02:30,417 --> 00:02:32,784
I pursued
a dream of my own...
62
00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:34,386
Seeing the movie
Poltergeist.
63
00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:36,255
Please, please.
I'll do the dishes.
64
00:02:36,257 --> 00:02:38,824
No! You're not seeing
that ghost movie.
65
00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:39,625
It's too scary for you.
66
00:02:39,627 --> 00:02:42,594
Come on! It's re-released
at the Dollar Theater.
67
00:02:42,596 --> 00:02:45,230
A dollar!
You love a bargain.
(CHUCKLES)
68
00:02:45,232 --> 00:02:46,064
Forget it!
69
00:02:46,066 --> 00:02:49,168
Barbara Fishman's neighbor's
nephew saw that movie.
70
00:02:49,170 --> 00:02:52,871
Three days later,
he had a terror stroke.
71
00:02:53,273 --> 00:02:55,107
A terror stroke?
Mmm-hmm.
72
00:02:55,109 --> 00:02:56,842
That's not even a thing!
73
00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:57,876
You can see this movie.
74
00:02:57,878 --> 00:02:59,111
ADAM: "The Great Mouse
Detective?"
75
00:02:59,113 --> 00:03:01,413
(SINGSONGY)
He's got a little
magnifying glass.
76
00:03:01,415 --> 00:03:03,382
Ooh, take Pops.
He loves talking animals.
77
00:03:03,384 --> 00:03:08,487
And here is
a little extra money
for something sweet.
78
00:03:08,555 --> 00:03:10,756
Now how about a little
somethin' sweet for me?
79
00:03:10,758 --> 00:03:13,392
Mom, do we have to do this
every morning?
80
00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:15,861
It's been four days
since I've gotten a huggie.
81
00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:18,664
I'm jonesin'.
I need my fix.
82
00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:20,299
(CHUCKLES)
83
00:03:20,301 --> 00:03:22,434
Ooh...
84
00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:24,736
What are you doing?
What is this?
85
00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:25,537
You wanted a hug.
86
00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:28,574
Who hugs like that?
At least put some arm
into it.
87
00:03:28,576 --> 00:03:31,210
This is what I got.
Oh...
88
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:32,511
Go.
89
00:03:32,513 --> 00:03:35,247
Even though my mom
was being denied
the affection she wanted,
90
00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:38,517
I wasn't about to be denied
Poltergeist.
91
00:03:38,519 --> 00:03:40,586
Thanks again
for bringing me.
92
00:03:40,588 --> 00:03:41,286
Of course.
93
00:03:41,288 --> 00:03:45,791
Popcorn, milk duds,
a Mouse Detective...
94
00:03:45,793 --> 00:03:47,025
What's not to like?
95
00:03:47,027 --> 00:03:49,795
Um...
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
96
00:03:49,862 --> 00:03:52,531
The mouse stuff
comes at the end...
97
00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:54,266
After the ghosts.
98
00:03:54,268 --> 00:03:55,033
I felt awful for lying,
99
00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:58,971
but how scary
could the movie really be?
100
00:04:02,342 --> 00:04:05,377
Turns out, it was scary!
101
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:08,180
Really scary!
102
00:04:11,384 --> 00:04:15,020
Really, really scary!
103
00:04:17,056 --> 00:04:19,491
(AUDIENCE MURMURING)
104
00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:25,330
Where the (BLEEP)
was the mouse?
105
00:04:25,332 --> 00:04:28,467
Okay, so you got
your love seats
over there,
106
00:04:28,469 --> 00:04:31,136
uh, sectionals
over there.
107
00:04:31,138 --> 00:04:32,804
That's a divan.
108
00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:35,574
Hey, Vic, say hello
to my son.
109
00:04:35,576 --> 00:04:37,743
What? Little baby Barry?
110
00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:38,277
Get outta here!
111
00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:39,645
That's a good-looking
kid there, Mur.
112
00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:42,014
He must get it
from his mom! (LAUGHS)
(FORCED LAUGH)
113
00:04:42,016 --> 00:04:45,550
Where does Vic Jr.
get it from, Carl down
at the loading dock?
114
00:04:45,552 --> 00:04:47,352
Oh, man, come on!
(LAUGHS)
115
00:04:47,354 --> 00:04:49,454
That's part of the job.
We bust balls.
116
00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:51,757
Yeah, Vic.
You sad old loser.
117
00:04:51,759 --> 00:04:52,591
(LAUGHS)
Hey, what?
118
00:04:52,593 --> 00:04:54,626
You know what?
He's new. He's new.
119
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:57,062
Let's just get to work.
All right.
120
00:04:57,064 --> 00:04:59,531
So this is what we do
all day?
121
00:04:59,533 --> 00:05:01,700
It's pretty cool.
No, no, no, no.
122
00:05:01,702 --> 00:05:04,770
This is what I do
all day, okay?
123
00:05:04,772 --> 00:05:05,837
You sweep.
124
00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:08,073
And then you move
some furniture,
125
00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:09,508
and you sweep around that.
126
00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:10,475
I'll see you for lunch.
127
00:05:10,477 --> 00:05:13,979
Ah. I see what you're
trying to do.
128
00:05:13,981 --> 00:05:15,047
You're trying to break me.
129
00:05:15,049 --> 00:05:17,716
Well, you can't break me,
old man.
130
00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:19,351
I'll sweep your floor,
and you know why?
131
00:05:19,353 --> 00:05:23,789
'Cause nobody
gets to the NBA
without a struggle.
132
00:05:24,090 --> 00:05:26,291
(EXHALES)
Struggle away.
133
00:05:28,394 --> 00:05:30,662
Vic? A little help here?
134
00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:31,496
Hell, no.
135
00:05:31,498 --> 00:05:32,397
(RATTLING)
(WIND WHISTLING)
136
00:05:32,399 --> 00:05:34,199
Sure, I knew Poltergeist
was just a movie...
(TAPPING)
137
00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:39,171
But when night came,
it seemed pretty
freakin' real!
138
00:05:43,576 --> 00:05:45,544
(CACKLING)
139
00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:48,447
(CACKLING CONTINUES)
140
00:05:48,748 --> 00:05:49,815
(CACKLING FADES)
141
00:05:49,817 --> 00:05:51,783
I just can't stop thinking
about that movie.
142
00:05:51,785 --> 00:05:53,518
It's really gone
to my head, Pops.
143
00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:56,822
Aw, buddy.
It's all make-believe.
144
00:05:56,824 --> 00:05:57,956
It's not.
145
00:05:57,958 --> 00:05:58,924
Ghosts are real.
146
00:05:58,926 --> 00:06:00,792
They're what keep
the Ghostbusters employed.
147
00:06:00,794 --> 00:06:03,695
You got nothing to be
afraid of.
148
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:06,198
Now go get some rest.
149
00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,400
Okay. Good night.
150
00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:10,268
In my head,
I knew Pops was right,
151
00:06:10,270 --> 00:06:14,406
but the rest of me was not
gonna take any chances.
152
00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:16,675
(BUTTON CLICKS)
(WHIRRING)
153
00:06:16,677 --> 00:06:19,478
Desperate times called
for desperate measures.
154
00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:22,080
(WHISPERING) Mom?
I have a tummy ache.
155
00:06:22,082 --> 00:06:26,151
(LOWERED VOICE)
Oh, sweetie.
Do you need to make?
156
00:06:26,285 --> 00:06:28,186
No! But...
157
00:06:28,287 --> 00:06:30,322
Can I sleep here tonight?
158
00:06:30,324 --> 00:06:32,157
Yeah, sure.
159
00:06:35,661 --> 00:06:36,294
I had given in.
160
00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:38,830
For one night, my mom
would get the snuggles
161
00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:41,900
she so desperately craved.
162
00:06:44,303 --> 00:06:45,404
And then morning came.
163
00:06:45,406 --> 00:06:49,141
How's the tum-tum?
It's fine. I'm fine.
164
00:06:49,475 --> 00:06:51,243
I gotta go.
165
00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:54,179
See ya!
166
00:06:54,181 --> 00:06:54,813
(SCOFFS) Okay.
167
00:06:54,815 --> 00:06:57,215
(DOOR OPENS)
Oh, Adam, you forgot
your jacket.
168
00:06:57,217 --> 00:06:59,518
Don't need it!
(DOOR CLOSES)
169
00:07:00,653 --> 00:07:01,253
"Poltergeist"?
170
00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:05,657
I told him not to see
that movie. Unbelievable!
171
00:07:05,858 --> 00:07:06,925
He's scared.
172
00:07:06,927 --> 00:07:08,860
That's why he wants
snuggies.
173
00:07:08,862 --> 00:07:10,996
Hey, if you're looking
for some snuggies, I...
174
00:07:10,998 --> 00:07:11,963
You're not going
to that party.
175
00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:15,033
You never let me do...
(CLENCHES TEETH)
Anything!
176
00:07:15,701 --> 00:07:16,568
Ugh!
177
00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:17,669
That's when my mom realized
178
00:07:17,671 --> 00:07:19,638
she had found the ticket
to all the snuggies
179
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:22,174
she could ever want.
(DOOR CLOSES)
180
00:07:23,843 --> 00:07:25,610
(DOOR CREAKS)
181
00:07:30,550 --> 00:07:31,249
Mom?
182
00:07:31,251 --> 00:07:34,419
You didn't put
this clown here, did you?
183
00:07:34,421 --> 00:07:35,253
Yes, Adam.
184
00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:37,456
After running errands,
cooking dinner,
185
00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:39,458
and cleaning the house,
I had lots of time
186
00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:40,892
to futz around
with a clown.
187
00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:43,395
Okay, okay. Jeez.
188
00:07:43,397 --> 00:07:46,298
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
189
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:56,308
Mom? I have a tummy ache!
190
00:07:56,310 --> 00:08:00,078
Little did I know
the scariest thing
in this house
191
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:03,014
was lying right next to me.
192
00:08:04,917 --> 00:08:06,785
After a grueling week
of manual labor,
193
00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:11,156
the day Barry had been
waiting for had arrived...
194
00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:12,891
Payday.
195
00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:17,095
$33.27?
196
00:08:17,530 --> 00:08:20,098
Is this some sick joke?
197
00:08:20,533 --> 00:08:21,566
Oh.
198
00:08:21,568 --> 00:08:23,768
You're just busting balls,
huh?
199
00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:25,370
This is a joke paycheck.
200
00:08:25,372 --> 00:08:27,205
I wish I was
busting balls.
201
00:08:27,207 --> 00:08:27,973
Welcome to
the real world.
202
00:08:27,975 --> 00:08:31,576
I know I made
more than this.
Why is it so low?
203
00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:32,744
Taxes!
204
00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:35,914
You got federal, state,
Social Security, FICA.
205
00:08:35,916 --> 00:08:39,985
What are you talking about?
Those aren't real things.
206
00:08:39,987 --> 00:08:40,752
Did you ever go
to school?
207
00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:42,921
Taxes? Those are
totally real things.
208
00:08:42,923 --> 00:08:44,256
Just let me become
a salesman.
209
00:08:44,258 --> 00:08:46,358
I can make more if I work
on commission.
210
00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:48,293
You? You're not ready.
211
00:08:48,295 --> 00:08:49,828
There's a customer
right there.
212
00:08:49,830 --> 00:08:51,429
Just let me go sell him
the pink couch?
213
00:08:51,431 --> 00:08:52,931
It's a salmon love seat.
214
00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:55,567
It's been there
for five years.
215
00:08:55,569 --> 00:08:56,368
In un-sellable.
216
00:08:56,370 --> 00:08:58,103
I'm gonna move him
over to the sectionals.
217
00:08:58,105 --> 00:09:02,173
You stay over here
and continue your
fine broom work.
218
00:09:04,143 --> 00:09:07,579
Sir, just so you know,
we have financing.
219
00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:10,248
Bad credit, no credit...
No problem.
220
00:09:10,250 --> 00:09:12,617
Thanks. I'm not gonna
make any final decisions
today, so...
221
00:09:12,619 --> 00:09:15,086
Today is not a day
for final decisions.
222
00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:18,456
I'm with you.
Take your time.
223
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:21,159
What are you doing?
Sorry.
I had a phone call.
224
00:09:21,161 --> 00:09:22,260
I didn't hear
the phone ring.
225
00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:25,163
Oh, it rang.
It was Ron Jaworski.
226
00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:26,831
Said he wants this couch.
227
00:09:26,833 --> 00:09:29,935
Ron Jaworski?
The Eagles quarterback?
228
00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:31,603
Dude.
229
00:09:32,171 --> 00:09:34,272
(CHUCKLES) Dude!
Dude!
230
00:09:34,373 --> 00:09:35,240
Dude.
Dude?
231
00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:39,477
Dude. He literally
just called.
232
00:09:39,545 --> 00:09:40,645
I want this couch.
233
00:09:40,647 --> 00:09:42,280
Mmm... No can do.
234
00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:44,382
Ronnie J. just put
this on reserve.
235
00:09:44,384 --> 00:09:45,984
What if I pay cash?
236
00:09:46,819 --> 00:09:48,286
Murray?
237
00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:54,125
You know what?
I'll handle Big Ron.
238
00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:56,394
You, sir, have got
yourself a deal.
239
00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:58,196
(GASPS) Thank you.
240
00:09:58,198 --> 00:10:00,298
No doubt about it.
Barry was a natural.
241
00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:04,703
Meanwhile,
I was still dealing
with the supernatural.
242
00:10:04,705 --> 00:10:06,071
(TV TURNS ON)
243
00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:08,473
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
244
00:10:08,475 --> 00:10:10,342
(STATIC HISSING)
245
00:10:12,912 --> 00:10:15,046
(STATIC HISSING)
246
00:10:19,185 --> 00:10:19,751
(SHIVERING)
247
00:10:19,753 --> 00:10:21,319
(DOOR CLOSES)
(PANTING) Mom...
248
00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:24,055
Oh! What's this about?
(GASPS)
249
00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:26,925
(WHISPERS)
Tummy ache.
Okay.
250
00:10:27,026 --> 00:10:28,660
Why don't you, uh,
run upstairs,
251
00:10:28,662 --> 00:10:31,229
and I'll be there
in a minute, okay?
(EXHALES)
252
00:10:31,231 --> 00:10:32,998
It's fine.
253
00:10:35,234 --> 00:10:35,867
Wow!
254
00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:36,868
(DOOR CLOSES)
(GROANS)
255
00:10:36,870 --> 00:10:39,537
You scared me.
That's not cool.
256
00:10:39,539 --> 00:10:43,775
Not cool, huh? Why'd you
take the remote outside?
257
00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:44,743
It's not what you think.
258
00:10:44,745 --> 00:10:48,880
I think you're scaring Adam
so he'll give you hugs.
259
00:10:48,882 --> 00:10:50,882
It might be what you think.
260
00:10:50,884 --> 00:10:52,117
But is that so wrong?
261
00:10:52,119 --> 00:10:55,286
Yes, it's wrong!
Very, very wrong.
262
00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:56,321
Well, it would have
never come to this
263
00:10:56,323 --> 00:11:00,458
if I didn't have to beg
for affection
from my own children.
264
00:11:00,460 --> 00:11:01,026
Here we go.
265
00:11:01,028 --> 00:11:02,093
I used to walk
through that door,
266
00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:05,497
and you would
all come running
and jump into my arms.
267
00:11:05,499 --> 00:11:08,700
And then you stopped.
And Barry stopped.
268
00:11:08,702 --> 00:11:10,802
Adam's all I have left.
And if he stops,
269
00:11:10,804 --> 00:11:12,203
no one's ever gonna
hug me again.
270
00:11:12,205 --> 00:11:15,407
(SCOFFS)
You know I'm gonna have
to tell Adam, right?
271
00:11:15,409 --> 00:11:15,840
Don't!
272
00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:20,612
Just one more night of snugs,
and I'll never do it again.
I promise.
273
00:11:20,614 --> 00:11:23,314
I suppose I could forget
the whole thing
274
00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:26,317
if you let me stay out
insanely late this weekend.
275
00:11:26,319 --> 00:11:27,085
Deal.
Really?
276
00:11:27,087 --> 00:11:28,486
Please. Like you
were gonna come home
277
00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:31,156
when I wanted anyway?
True.
278
00:11:31,757 --> 00:11:32,624
I feel good about this.
279
00:11:32,626 --> 00:11:34,726
My mother wasn't
the only one feeling good.
280
00:11:34,728 --> 00:11:36,494
Over the next week,
Barry proved himself to be
281
00:11:36,496 --> 00:11:40,231
not only a great salesman,
but a real visionary.
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
282
00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:42,600
Mix the duck sauce
with the hot mustard
283
00:11:42,602 --> 00:11:43,802
and dip your egg roll
in it.
284
00:11:43,804 --> 00:11:45,770
That's crazy!
Who does that?
285
00:11:45,772 --> 00:11:49,808
Just do it.
You'll like it,
you big baby.
286
00:11:49,975 --> 00:11:51,676
(CRUNCHES)
287
00:11:51,777 --> 00:11:53,645
I don't like it.
288
00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:55,013
I love it!
289
00:11:55,015 --> 00:11:56,548
Hey, Barry, there's
a woman on the phone
290
00:11:56,550 --> 00:11:58,717
who said that you set aside
two nightstands for her?
291
00:11:58,719 --> 00:12:02,320
Yep. And set aside
a one-night stand
for your wife.
292
00:12:02,322 --> 00:12:03,388
Wha...
293
00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:05,090
Just busting balls.
294
00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:06,257
It's what we do.
295
00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:09,728
Come on. (LAUGHS)
That's what we do.
296
00:12:10,329 --> 00:12:11,329
BOTH: I'm home!
297
00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:13,598
Nobody bother me!
298
00:12:14,867 --> 00:12:15,900
But my dad began to notice
299
00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:18,803
that success
was changing Barry,
300
00:12:18,805 --> 00:12:22,040
and not all for the good.
301
00:12:22,042 --> 00:12:22,941
(SIGHS)
302
00:12:22,943 --> 00:12:24,242
That's the stuff.
303
00:12:24,244 --> 00:12:25,043
What the hell
are you doing?
304
00:12:25,045 --> 00:12:29,514
Get out of my chair,
go outside, play basketball.
305
00:12:29,516 --> 00:12:30,548
Or something.
306
00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:31,916
Ah, screw basketball.
307
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:34,285
It was a stupid dream.
You were right.
308
00:12:34,287 --> 00:12:37,789
But furniture?
That's where it's at.
309
00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:39,724
Oh, look at you!
310
00:12:39,726 --> 00:12:42,827
Ha ha!
You're a mini Murray!
311
00:12:42,829 --> 00:12:45,396
Chip off the old block.
312
00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:47,098
He really was,
313
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:50,268
and my dad suddenly realized
he didn't like it one bit.
314
00:12:50,270 --> 00:12:54,672
So he decided to handle it
the only way he knew how.
315
00:12:54,674 --> 00:12:56,040
You're fired.
316
00:12:56,042 --> 00:12:57,642
What? Why?
317
00:12:57,644 --> 00:12:58,409
It's not working out.
318
00:12:58,411 --> 00:13:01,079
Yes, it is.
It's working out awesome.
319
00:13:01,081 --> 00:13:02,714
You just can't randomly
fire me.
320
00:13:02,716 --> 00:13:04,015
I mean,
you have to have cause.
321
00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:07,352
Okay. It's 'cause
you're a moron.
322
00:13:07,354 --> 00:13:08,887
No. This is not happening.
323
00:13:08,889 --> 00:13:13,091
In fact, I fire you.
That's right, you're fired.
324
00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:14,759
You don't have to go.
No. No, no, no.
325
00:13:14,761 --> 00:13:16,094
You guys leave and come
to my store instead.
326
00:13:16,096 --> 00:13:18,296
He doesn't have a store.
Oh, yes,
I do have a store.
327
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,231
I'm opening one
right across the street.
328
00:13:20,233 --> 00:13:21,866
He's not opening
across the street.
329
00:13:21,868 --> 00:13:23,268
I just did!
No, you didn't.
330
00:13:23,270 --> 00:13:25,603
And Ron Jaworski's
really gonna go there...
331
00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:26,805
You don't know
Ron Jaworski.
332
00:13:26,807 --> 00:13:28,873
And people are gonna
treat each other nicely.
333
00:13:28,875 --> 00:13:32,577
It's gonna be a friendly
working environment!
334
00:13:32,579 --> 00:13:35,580
Who's coming
with me, huh?
335
00:13:35,681 --> 00:13:36,581
You! Vic,
336
00:13:36,583 --> 00:13:39,450
I'm doubling your salary.
You work for me now.
337
00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:41,686
Wait, for real?
For real, for real.
338
00:13:41,688 --> 00:13:43,888
No, he's not going
with you.
339
00:13:43,890 --> 00:13:45,723
Toodle-oo!
340
00:13:46,725 --> 00:13:47,959
His store sounds nice.
341
00:13:47,961 --> 00:13:50,995
His store isn't real!
(DOOR CLOSES)
342
00:13:52,464 --> 00:13:55,166
My dad was hoping
by the time he got home
from work,
343
00:13:55,168 --> 00:13:56,935
the Barry incident
would have blown over.
344
00:13:56,937 --> 00:14:00,138
But in our house,
things just blow up.
345
00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:02,340
You fired your own son?
346
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:03,174
Oh, boy.
347
00:14:03,176 --> 00:14:04,709
Damn right he fired me.
348
00:14:04,711 --> 00:14:07,812
And you know why?
'Cause he's jealous.
349
00:14:07,814 --> 00:14:10,415
That's right.
I sold the pink couch.
350
00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:11,149
And for a brief moment,
351
00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:14,652
you got to see what
a good furniture salesman
looks like.
352
00:14:14,654 --> 00:14:17,255
This. Yeah. soak it in.
353
00:14:17,257 --> 00:14:21,693
Okay. We're done yelling.
Let's all just calm down.
354
00:14:21,695 --> 00:14:22,427
Oh, I'm done.
355
00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:25,129
I'm done with you,
I'm done with the store,
356
00:14:25,131 --> 00:14:27,065
and I'm done
with furniture... Forever!
357
00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:29,968
What does that even mean?
I reject all furniture!
358
00:14:29,970 --> 00:14:32,804
I'm going up to my room
and getting rid of everything.
359
00:14:32,806 --> 00:14:35,673
I'll never be
comfortable again.
360
00:14:38,244 --> 00:14:40,411
(WHEELS RATTLING ON GROUND)
361
00:14:48,020 --> 00:14:48,753
What are you doing?
362
00:14:48,755 --> 00:14:52,223
Rejecting all furniture.
What are you doing?
363
00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:54,893
There's a ghost
in the TV.
364
00:14:54,895 --> 00:14:56,461
That's just stupid.
365
00:15:00,966 --> 00:15:02,700
Thanks for sleeping over,
Pops.
366
00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:05,103
I'm sorry I didn't come
sooner, kiddo.
367
00:15:05,105 --> 00:15:08,940
No man should have to
bunk up with his mom
for a week.
368
00:15:08,942 --> 00:15:09,474
No man.
369
00:15:09,476 --> 00:15:11,142
But what happens
when you leave?
370
00:15:11,144 --> 00:15:12,944
You can't protect me
forever.
371
00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:15,513
But this watch sure can.
372
00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:19,584
My grandpa Irv gave me this
just before I shipped off
to France,
373
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:22,720
and he told me
as long as I kept it
with me,
374
00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:26,457
nothing bad would happen,
and he was right.
375
00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:27,859
Boom.
376
00:15:27,861 --> 00:15:28,960
(EXHALES)
377
00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:31,029
Thanks.
I feel better already.
378
00:15:31,031 --> 00:15:34,065
(VOICE WHISPERING
INDISTINCTLY)
379
00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:35,366
What the hell is that?
380
00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:36,501
(WHISPERING CONTINUES)
381
00:15:36,503 --> 00:15:38,303
It came from inside
the trunk.
382
00:15:38,305 --> 00:15:40,071
(WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY)
383
00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:40,838
(IN DEEP VOICE) Evil!
384
00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:42,573
(WHISPERING) Beverly,
what are you doing?
385
00:15:42,575 --> 00:15:44,275
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
386
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:45,977
(GASPS)
It keeps coming back!
387
00:15:45,979 --> 00:15:48,546
(PANTS)
There's gotta be a rational
explanation for this.
388
00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:52,784
Of course there is!
My toy chest is
a portal to hell!
389
00:15:52,786 --> 00:15:53,851
(WHISPERING RESUMES)
390
00:15:53,853 --> 00:15:58,022
Aha! That's the explanation!
391
00:15:58,024 --> 00:16:00,391
My walkie-talkie?
392
00:16:01,226 --> 00:16:02,593
You!
What's the matter, pooh?
393
00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:04,395
Don't you "pooh" me.
Don't you "pooh" him.
394
00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:07,999
There is a monster
in this house,
and it's you.
395
00:16:08,001 --> 00:16:09,567
You're the monster.
396
00:16:09,569 --> 00:16:11,703
If that's what you really
think of me,
397
00:16:11,705 --> 00:16:14,539
then I have failed
as a mother.
398
00:16:14,673 --> 00:16:16,441
(STATIC)
399
00:16:17,609 --> 00:16:19,344
Well, you lied, too.
400
00:16:19,346 --> 00:16:21,112
I told you not to see
that movie,
401
00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:21,813
and you did it anyway.
402
00:16:21,815 --> 00:16:24,382
And you shouldn't have
let him see something
so scary.
403
00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:28,186
Not my fault. That movie
was wildly mis-titled.
404
00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:31,289
There was neither a mouse
nor a detective.
405
00:16:31,291 --> 00:16:33,257
I hope you enjoyed the hugs
while they lasted,
406
00:16:33,259 --> 00:16:34,692
'cause I got news for you,
woman.
407
00:16:34,694 --> 00:16:37,528
As of this moment,
I'll never snug you again.
408
00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:39,130
Ever!
409
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:43,067
After a week of being scared
by my own mother,
410
00:16:43,069 --> 00:16:47,138
what I just said
terrified her to the core.
411
00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:49,307
(SIGHS)
I can't believe
I'm losing sleep
412
00:16:49,309 --> 00:16:50,541
over that damn kid.
413
00:16:50,543 --> 00:16:51,976
(CLICKS TONGUE)
(SIGHS)
414
00:16:51,978 --> 00:16:52,944
Adam's never
forgiving me,
415
00:16:52,946 --> 00:16:56,080
but you could still patch
things up with Barry.
416
00:16:56,082 --> 00:16:57,982
Just hire him back.
417
00:16:58,083 --> 00:16:58,516
I can't!
418
00:16:58,518 --> 00:17:03,955
The last thing I want
is that kid peddling furniture
for the rest of his life.
419
00:17:03,957 --> 00:17:05,123
I want more for him.
420
00:17:05,125 --> 00:17:06,924
Why didn't you
tell him that?
421
00:17:06,926 --> 00:17:09,227
Eh, he... He knows.
422
00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:10,595
Murray.
423
00:17:10,597 --> 00:17:11,996
Fine!
424
00:17:12,231 --> 00:17:13,631
Fine.
425
00:17:14,833 --> 00:17:16,300
We're bad parents,
aren't we?
426
00:17:16,302 --> 00:17:19,604
We're not great,
that's for sure.
427
00:17:19,606 --> 00:17:21,839
But who really is?
428
00:17:21,907 --> 00:17:22,607
Well...
429
00:17:22,609 --> 00:17:26,110
Ah. The blond people
down the block.
430
00:17:26,112 --> 00:17:27,912
The ones
with all the bikes.
431
00:17:27,914 --> 00:17:29,680
They're making it work.
432
00:17:29,682 --> 00:17:33,084
Oh. At least we have
each other.
433
00:17:33,086 --> 00:17:36,054
Yeah, you can't
scare me away.
434
00:17:37,623 --> 00:17:39,390
(EXHALES)
435
00:17:45,731 --> 00:17:46,464
Here.
436
00:17:46,466 --> 00:17:49,700
I know you love Bill Murray
and you wanted
to see Stripes
437
00:17:49,702 --> 00:17:51,502
and I wouldn't let you.
438
00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:54,238
Um... It's playing
at the Dollar Theater.
439
00:17:54,706 --> 00:17:56,374
Not interested.
440
00:17:56,442 --> 00:17:59,010
I hear they show boobs.
441
00:17:59,378 --> 00:18:01,079
How many?
442
00:18:01,547 --> 00:18:03,381
I'm sorry I scared you.
443
00:18:03,383 --> 00:18:07,118
But you were so warm
and snuggy, and...
444
00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:08,519
I miss it.
445
00:18:08,521 --> 00:18:12,056
I just need a hug,
and when I don't get it,
446
00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:14,192
I do bad things.
447
00:18:16,195 --> 00:18:17,295
Fine.
448
00:18:17,297 --> 00:18:19,030
One hug a week.
449
00:18:19,032 --> 00:18:21,999
One a day,
Monday through Friday,
weekends off.
450
00:18:22,001 --> 00:18:22,867
Every other day,
two seconds max.
451
00:18:22,869 --> 00:18:27,238
Five seconds.
Three and a half seconds.
That's my final offer.
452
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:28,639
Deal.
453
00:18:29,374 --> 00:18:32,243
(HERE I GO AGAIN PLAYING)
454
00:18:44,189 --> 00:18:45,890
That one's free.
455
00:18:47,192 --> 00:18:49,460
(KNOCKS)
BARRY: What?
456
00:18:50,028 --> 00:18:52,396
Go away.
Not talking to you.
457
00:18:52,398 --> 00:18:55,533
That's okay.
I'll do the talking.
458
00:18:55,535 --> 00:18:58,503
Why? Did Mom send you here?
459
00:18:58,505 --> 00:19:00,304
Of course she did.
460
00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:05,109
All right. Uh...
When I was your age,
461
00:19:05,511 --> 00:19:09,080
my dad,
he wasn't around much.
462
00:19:09,082 --> 00:19:11,415
I had nobody looking out
for me.
463
00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:14,018
So I had no direction.
464
00:19:14,319 --> 00:19:16,020
Boy, if I hadn't met
your mother,
465
00:19:16,022 --> 00:19:18,689
I don't know
where I'd be today.
466
00:19:18,691 --> 00:19:22,693
And then Pops gave me
a job at the store,
467
00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:25,997
and, uh, suddenly I'm a guy
468
00:19:25,999 --> 00:19:29,233
with a family
and a future.
469
00:19:29,235 --> 00:19:30,601
What I'm trying to say is
470
00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:36,040
for me, selling furniture
was...was a big deal.
471
00:19:36,042 --> 00:19:38,376
But I want more for you.
472
00:19:40,712 --> 00:19:45,183
♪ So I keep searching
for an answer
473
00:19:45,751 --> 00:19:46,217
No.
474
00:19:46,219 --> 00:19:50,555
♪ Never seem to find
what I'm looking for
475
00:19:52,257 --> 00:19:54,025
No way.
476
00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:56,694
The Reebok Pumps?
For real?
477
00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:58,529
I thought you said
my dream was stupid.
478
00:19:58,531 --> 00:20:03,167
Yeah, well, you're just
the moron to pull it off.
479
00:20:03,169 --> 00:20:04,735
Oh, my goodness!
480
00:20:04,737 --> 00:20:07,471
♪ The lonely street of dreams
481
00:20:07,473 --> 00:20:12,009
♪ And here I go again
on my own
482
00:20:12,144 --> 00:20:17,582
♪ Going down the only road
I've ever known
483
00:20:17,816 --> 00:20:22,453
♪ Like a drifter,
I was born to walk alone
484
00:20:24,556 --> 00:20:28,059
♪ And I've made up my mind
485
00:20:29,261 --> 00:20:33,397
♪ I ain't wastin'
no more time
486
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:34,265
(THUD)
487
00:20:34,267 --> 00:20:35,600
(MUSIC STOPS)
(GASPS)
488
00:20:35,602 --> 00:20:38,569
MURRAY: Thank God
he can sell furniture.
489
00:20:40,505 --> 00:20:42,974
Welcome to my house.
490
00:20:44,409 --> 00:20:45,476
(GRUNTING)
491
00:20:45,478 --> 00:20:48,179
Ain't no one gonna
stop Barry. Uh!
492
00:20:50,315 --> 00:20:52,350
Swish, baby!
493
00:20:54,620 --> 00:20:56,020
Swish, baby!
494
00:20:56,022 --> 00:20:57,955
Lefty. Lefty.
495
00:20:59,157 --> 00:21:01,092
Swish, baby!
496
00:21:06,465 --> 00:21:08,032
Swish, baby!
497
00:21:08,467 --> 00:21:10,334
Basketball.
498
00:21:13,805 --> 00:21:15,673
That was...
That was fantastic!
499
00:21:15,675 --> 00:21:20,344
He... He made a shot
from the end
of the driveway!
500
00:21:23,181 --> 00:21:24,682
Thank you.