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Back in the '80s, every kid was obsessed
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with professional wrestling's
greatest superstars.
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00:00:04,719 --> 00:00:05,921
Especially me!
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You're gonna feel pain you've
never known, Iron Sheik!
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Bodyslam!
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You moron! You broke the bed!
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And The Iron Sheik's spine,
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so American values are preserved!
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Where do you come from?
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Yep. We even made
movies about wrestling.
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But no one loved it more than Barry.
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Listen up, Hulkamaniacs,
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you better eat your vitamins
and say your prayers
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'cause these 24-inch pythons
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are gonna have lots to say
about it, brother!
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Ow, my toe!
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Dammit! This is why
we can't have nice lamps!
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- Chad did it! He's...
- What?
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very aggressive and should know
better as a guest in our home!
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I do know better, which is why I didn't!
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And just throw some lies
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on top of your trail of
destruction, Chad!
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- This guy.
- We were just
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making a wrestling film.
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Well, now you're just sitting in
my lampless room making nothing.
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I'm shutting it down!
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Check it out!
Dad's wrestling the camera!
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Cam-er-a!
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- Where's the button, something?
- Cam-er-a!
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Damn it! That's it!
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No more wrestling in this house.
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No more TV, no more
dolls, all holds barred!
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What about my monthly
wrestling magazine?
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Subscription cancelled!
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Or the Rock 'n' Wrestling coloring book?
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I want your crayons, too!
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What about the Wrestling Stars
board game?
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- You lose!
- Sling-'Em Fling-'Em Wrestling Ring?
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Why would anyone want that?
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"Macho Man" Randy Savage
plush wrestling buddy?
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I swear you said that one already.
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Wrestling Superstars Thumb Wrestlers?
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Did I buy you all these?
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"The Honky Tonk Man's" guitar?
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Now you're just making these up!
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Jesse "The Body" Ventura's boa.
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Be careful with that.
It's your sister's.
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- Hulk Hogan's glasses.
- I've been looking for those!
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Brutus "The Barber"
Beefcake's hedge clippers.
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Those belong in the garage!
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Greg "The Hammer" Valentine,
master of the figure four leglock.
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Who's naming these guys?
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Or "The British Bulldog's" teacups.
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- Cheerio.
- Those are for good company!
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Or my "Rowdy" Roddy
Piper stretch wrestler?
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That's actually my Rowdy
Roddy Piper stretch wrestler!
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No, it's my Rowdy Roddy
Piper stretch wrestler!
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You lost your Rowdy Roddy Piper
stretch wrestler at the zoo!
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Damn it! I said no wrestling!
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This isn't wrestling!
This is real fighting!
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Now gimme back my Rowdy Roddy
Piper stretch wrestler, you...
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♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪
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♪ But nonetheless,
I feel the need to say ♪
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Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com
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♪ I don't know the future ♪
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♪ But the past keeps
getting clearer every day ♪
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It was November 6, 1980-something,
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and trouble was brewing in Jenkintown.
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Oh, gosh, Bevy, I'm a wreck.
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Someone broke into my car last night.
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Oh, no!
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They put a giant hole in my windshield.
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You know, Geoff
had the same thing happen
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to his crappy car last night.
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Yeah, someone put a hole
in my windshield, too.
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And in my sense of well-being.
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Two separate vehicle attacks?
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There's only one possible explanation.
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Something reasonable that ends here?
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A massive crime spree
has hit Jenkintown,
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and we have to do something about it.
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And so, my mom did just that.
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Thank you for coming, everyone.
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I've got Officer Puchinski
here to give us some tips
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about how to deal with this crime wave
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and make sure that
nobody gets decapitated.
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Decapitated?
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It's just a hole in my windshield!
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Well, that's how it starts, Geoffrey.
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Do you have any enemies?
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Well, the sun is no friend of mine.
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I freckle up fierce.
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We're not talking about your gross skin.
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We're talking about someone
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that might want to separate your head
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from your shoulders, and
do God knows what with it.
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Somebody please do something!
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Officer, any leads on who
might lop off Geoff's head?
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Nope. But I suppose you can start
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with a neighborhood watch.
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You know, pick a captain and
walk around the neighborhood.
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Well, then it's settled.
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Everyone will sleep safely tonight
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knowing that Captain Beverly Goldberg
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- is your champion of peace...
- I'll do it.
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It was our neighbor, Jane Bales,
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the one person in town
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who was even more Beverly
Goldberg than Beverly Goldberg.
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Oh. Jane.
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How cute.
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I think, though, everybody agrees
I should be captain
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because Beverly Goldberg
gets things done.
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Except the person who
really gets things done
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is Jane Bales.
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Well, she gets 'em done
without a coaster
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... apparently.
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Let me tell you how
Bevy G gets things done.
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I'm the kinda lady
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who will return a bathing
suit without a receipt.
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Big whoop.
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I returned a bathing
suit without a receipt
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after wearing it for a year.
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I once returned just
an elastic waistband
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to a store I didn't even buy it from
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because that is what
kinda nightmare I am.
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I returned a one-piece
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I didn't even have in
my possession to a bank.
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Oh, yeah, I am a walking
demon on this Earth.
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Most importantly,
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what exactly is your plan
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to keep our neighborhood safe?
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I thought we would develop some signals
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in case there are, uh,
cutthroats or marauders
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on the street,
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you know, like...
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Bird noises. That's Beverly's plan.
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Here's mine.
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Can you just hold that?
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I've listed 10 different ways
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to keep our neighborhood safe,
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from posting signs to
installing better lights.
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- So well researched.
- Beautiful typography.
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Elegant, like her.
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Oh, shut your holes, you gassy nags!
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Wow. We should probably vote right now.
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Or we can postpone the vote
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until I can bedazzle
a poster board myself.
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- Yay! We're doing that.
- No.
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I'm not coming back here.
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Who wants this lady as captain?
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How dare you? You old toads!
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She has good plans, Bevy.
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Officer, I'm losing.
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Take out your gun and make me captain.
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No.
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While my mom lost her bid for captain,
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my brother and I were hoping
to win big with our dad.
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Father, out of respect
for you and "Manimal,"
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- we waited for a commercial.
- Indeed.
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But the most important
event in human history,
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WrestleMania IV, is happening,
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and we humbly seek your help.
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This request is merely financial.
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And since you know we respect
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the enraging-yet-reasonable
wrestling ban
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due to broken lamps and Barry's toe,
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which is healing ahead of schedule...
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It is way not, but such is life.
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... all we need is the measly
pay-per-view fee of $24.95
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to view the aforementioned
event in the basement.
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To express our desires,
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we've put together a music dance
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laser-light... extravaganza.
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♪ WrestleMania IV ♪
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- ♪ WrestleMania, WrestleMania ♪
- ♪ WrestleMania IV ♪
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The front row will get wet.
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Get that garbage bag away from me.
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- Wait, before you say no...
- Yes.
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You cheap old bastard!
I've never liked you!
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Wait. What?
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Here you go.
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And, uh, throw it on on the TV
upstairs so I can watch it, too.
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Uh...
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And afterwards, the three of us
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can head to Bookbinder's for some crab,
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- make a night out of it.
- Dad, respectfully,
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did you fall off the toilet again?
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Yeah, since when do you
want to watch wrestling
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or spend money or be with us?
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Since now!
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Can't a dad have a little
bonding time with his sons?
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A dad can, but not our dad.
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Just buy the damn wrestling, morons!
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- There's our guy!
- That feels right!
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Murray, you don't just inject yourself
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into their lives like it's normal.
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What's going on?
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Remember that, uh,
dermatologist I saw last year?
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I knew I'd outlive you.
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00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,286
No. My skin is perfect.
201
00:06:57,311 --> 00:06:59,894
But the doctor, not so much. He's dead.
202
00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:01,583
Dr. Lewenstein?
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00:07:01,608 --> 00:07:03,902
He was younger than you and very active.
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00:07:03,927 --> 00:07:04,934
Yeah, well, it didn't matter.
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One day, he's camping with his kids,
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00:07:06,626 --> 00:07:08,427
the next day, poof, he's gone.
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00:07:08,452 --> 00:07:10,320
He always had his shirt off.
208
00:07:10,345 --> 00:07:12,613
- Abs like a xylophone.
- We get it.
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00:07:12,638 --> 00:07:14,677
The point is, if something
like that happened to me,
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00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:17,669
my kids wouldn't even be able
to say that we went camping.
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00:07:17,704 --> 00:07:19,271
Barry hates camping.
212
00:07:19,296 --> 00:07:21,044
He can barely poop indoors.
213
00:07:21,069 --> 00:07:23,918
Camping is just an example.
It could be anything.
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00:07:23,943 --> 00:07:25,811
Otherwise, what are
they gonna say about me?
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00:07:25,836 --> 00:07:27,870
That you had the decency
to keep your shirt on.
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00:07:27,895 --> 00:07:28,982
And you're Bruce Lee?
217
00:07:29,007 --> 00:07:30,474
Look, you've been saying all year
218
00:07:30,499 --> 00:07:32,794
how you want to make some
memories with the kids.
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00:07:32,819 --> 00:07:34,209
Now's your chance.
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That's what I'm doing.
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I'm throwing away good money
to watch something I hate.
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That's a memory that'll last forever.
223
00:07:41,231 --> 00:07:43,004
You wanna make it special?
224
00:07:43,029 --> 00:07:45,107
Take them to see it in person.
225
00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:47,343
As our dad considered
taking us to WrestleMania,
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00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:48,646
our mom wasn't gonna take
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00:07:48,671 --> 00:07:51,293
being out-voted as
neighborhood watch captain.
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00:07:51,318 --> 00:07:52,787
Thanks for the ride, Mrs. G.
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00:07:55,148 --> 00:07:56,834
Oh, you're not here to see Erica.
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Get comfy. This is
an old-fashioned stakeout.
231
00:07:59,359 --> 00:08:01,678
Here. I made coffee and hot dogs.
232
00:08:01,703 --> 00:08:03,633
Oh, no, thank you.
233
00:08:03,658 --> 00:08:05,693
Hot dogs kind of jack up my stomach,
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00:08:05,718 --> 00:08:06,863
and also, what's happening right now?
235
00:08:06,887 --> 00:08:08,481
See those idiots over there?
236
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You mean my mom and her friends?
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We're gonna make sure
those baked potatoes
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don't compromise the safety
of the entire neighborhood.
239
00:08:13,757 --> 00:08:16,993
So, we're like the
Neighborhood Watch Watch?
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For all we know,
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00:08:18,171 --> 00:08:20,084
one of those shaved bears
could be the culprit.
242
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You mean, like, my mom who I love?
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Quiet. Somebody's coming.
244
00:08:23,202 --> 00:08:24,714
Oh, no. Is it the axe-wielding maniac?
245
00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:25,912
I'll protect you!
246
00:08:26,395 --> 00:08:28,545
Hey, cheggit. My boyfriend and mom
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are mashed together in
the front seat of a car.
248
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We're on duty,
249
00:08:31,538 --> 00:08:33,553
so beat it before you blow our cover!
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Yeah, I hate to disturb
whatever this is,
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00:08:36,382 --> 00:08:37,682
but, um, what are you doing?
252
00:08:37,707 --> 00:08:39,905
She tricked me into spying on
the neighborhood watch with her.
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00:08:39,929 --> 00:08:41,965
Oh. Well, here's an idea for a big boy.
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Come with me.
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00:08:43,415 --> 00:08:45,166
Don't you dare open that door,
256
00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:46,568
or so help me, you're off the squad.
257
00:08:46,592 --> 00:08:48,152
Oh, no. Then there wouldn't be a squad.
258
00:08:48,177 --> 00:08:50,207
Erica, get in or get out.
259
00:08:50,232 --> 00:08:51,865
Oh, tough one.
260
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:53,590
Dammit, they made us!
261
00:08:53,615 --> 00:08:54,699
Beverly?
262
00:08:54,724 --> 00:08:57,099
We rang your bell to come join us.
263
00:08:57,279 --> 00:08:58,437
Oh.
264
00:08:58,462 --> 00:09:01,798
Well, I was busy
enjoying a cool afternoon
265
00:09:01,823 --> 00:09:03,190
with my daughter's boyfriend.
266
00:09:03,215 --> 00:09:04,935
- Are you okay, Geoffrey?
- No.
267
00:09:04,960 --> 00:09:07,194
Strange, you girls
are going East to West.
268
00:09:07,219 --> 00:09:08,623
The light's not as good.
269
00:09:08,648 --> 00:09:09,671
You know, if I were captain...
270
00:09:09,695 --> 00:09:12,194
Well, you can stop right there.
Because you're not.
271
00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:14,256
Well, I'm going this way. Who's with me?
272
00:09:14,866 --> 00:09:17,076
Bevy, Jane's the captain.
273
00:09:18,147 --> 00:09:19,420
Well, you've left me no choice.
274
00:09:19,445 --> 00:09:22,209
I am starting my own Neighborhood Watch.
275
00:09:22,835 --> 00:09:24,631
Come on, Geoff!
276
00:09:24,997 --> 00:09:27,975
Sorry, Mama. I guess I got to
go with my girlfriend's mom.
277
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,748
See ya at dinner, I hope.
278
00:09:29,773 --> 00:09:31,808
As our mom was starting her own watch,
279
00:09:31,833 --> 00:09:35,116
our dad and Pops were waiting
in line for the big event.
280
00:09:35,141 --> 00:09:36,808
This is great, Mur.
281
00:09:36,833 --> 00:09:39,101
Seeing the sweaty muscle men live
282
00:09:39,126 --> 00:09:41,991
is way better than watching it on TV.
283
00:09:42,016 --> 00:09:43,023
This was it.
284
00:09:43,048 --> 00:09:44,453
My dad was finally gonna spend
285
00:09:44,478 --> 00:09:46,164
his hard-earned money on us kids
286
00:09:46,189 --> 00:09:48,742
to make a memory that
would last a lifetime.
287
00:09:48,767 --> 00:09:49,789
- _
- Or not.
288
00:09:49,814 --> 00:09:50,834
Sold out?
289
00:09:50,859 --> 00:09:52,258
This makes no sense.
290
00:09:52,283 --> 00:09:53,583
What are we gonna do?
291
00:09:53,608 --> 00:09:55,100
The only thing we can do,
292
00:09:55,125 --> 00:09:57,569
that's go home and never try again.
293
00:09:57,594 --> 00:10:00,773
No, Murray, you can't stop now!
294
00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:02,834
What about a scalper?
295
00:10:02,869 --> 00:10:05,719
Stop coming up with solutions!
296
00:10:06,101 --> 00:10:08,711
Oh! Looks like we got a couple
wrestling fans right here.
297
00:10:08,736 --> 00:10:11,281
How would you like some
primo seats to WrestleMania
298
00:10:11,306 --> 00:10:13,254
and/or some heavily discounted,
299
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:14,546
unlicensed merchandise?
300
00:10:14,571 --> 00:10:16,695
Who's "Ander the Gaint"?
301
00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:18,869
The misspelling makes
it a collector's item.
302
00:10:18,894 --> 00:10:20,195
Just three of your best seats.
303
00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:21,554
You are in my luck, my friend.
304
00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:23,080
I got three in the third row.
305
00:10:23,105 --> 00:10:26,147
And to see those jacked,
glistening bodies that close,
306
00:10:26,172 --> 00:10:28,226
it's only gonna set you back 400 bucks.
307
00:10:28,687 --> 00:10:30,423
Just give me the tickets.
308
00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:33,680
Cage-side seats? This is amazing!
309
00:10:33,705 --> 00:10:35,789
We're gonna have the
greatest day of our lives!
310
00:10:35,814 --> 00:10:37,848
- Hell, yeah, we are!
- Wait. You're going, too?
311
00:10:37,873 --> 00:10:39,767
Yeah. I wouldn't let you go to
Wrestletown without me.
312
00:10:39,791 --> 00:10:40,848
WrestleMania.
313
00:10:40,873 --> 00:10:43,217
- I can't wait to see Hunk Hoggins.
- Hulk Hogan.
314
00:10:43,242 --> 00:10:44,576
And Andy Macho Dan Rather.
315
00:10:44,601 --> 00:10:45,868
Randy "Macho Man" Savage.
316
00:10:45,893 --> 00:10:47,234
All the greats!
317
00:10:47,828 --> 00:10:50,892
Okay, I don't know what Dad's up to,
318
00:10:50,917 --> 00:10:52,751
but he's definitely gonna embarrass us
319
00:10:52,776 --> 00:10:55,396
in front of those taste-makers
and men-about-town
320
00:10:55,421 --> 00:10:57,430
who attend professional
wrestling events.
321
00:10:57,455 --> 00:10:58,467
What do we do?
322
00:10:58,492 --> 00:11:00,368
He did buy us amazing seats,
323
00:11:00,393 --> 00:11:01,893
so there's only one thing to do.
324
00:11:01,919 --> 00:11:03,419
Support our father.
325
00:11:03,444 --> 00:11:05,609
- Ditch him.
- Or that.
326
00:11:05,784 --> 00:11:07,875
It had been one day since
our mom decided
327
00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:10,367
she was going to compete
with Jane Bales' neighborhood watch
328
00:11:10,392 --> 00:11:11,586
and form her own.
329
00:11:11,611 --> 00:11:13,609
Welcome to the first meeting
of the newer,
330
00:11:13,634 --> 00:11:15,280
much better neighborhood watch.
331
00:11:15,305 --> 00:11:16,936
I'm only here to do my laundry.
332
00:11:16,961 --> 00:11:18,203
Roll. Don't fold.
333
00:11:18,228 --> 00:11:19,373
Now, I've gone over this map,
334
00:11:19,397 --> 00:11:20,697
and I have determined
335
00:11:20,722 --> 00:11:22,990
that all of the car break-ins
in this neighborhood
336
00:11:23,022 --> 00:11:25,139
have happened on this block.
337
00:11:25,164 --> 00:11:26,431
Oh, no! A pattern!
338
00:11:26,456 --> 00:11:28,691
- It's two pushpins, Geoff.
- You see it, too!
339
00:11:28,716 --> 00:11:30,211
Which is why I acquired
340
00:11:30,236 --> 00:11:33,086
this state-of-the-art
surveillance technology.
341
00:11:33,111 --> 00:11:34,489
That's how the CIA does it.
342
00:11:34,514 --> 00:11:36,015
Next, our cutting-edge
343
00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:37,891
cordless communication devices.
344
00:11:37,916 --> 00:11:39,895
Adam's G.I. Joe walkie-talkies?
345
00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:41,008
Mine's shaped like a cobra!
346
00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:43,231
And finally, official jackets.
347
00:11:43,256 --> 00:11:45,023
- _
- So many unnecessary words!
348
00:11:45,048 --> 00:11:47,453
And yet, not enough to
explain how stupid this is.
349
00:11:47,478 --> 00:11:48,478
Oh, it says "Geoff."
350
00:11:48,503 --> 00:11:49,863
They're never gonna see us coming.
351
00:11:50,637 --> 00:11:52,351
Hey, look, Beverly's coming.
352
00:11:52,376 --> 00:11:54,219
Good afternoon, Jane Bales
353
00:11:54,244 --> 00:11:56,391
and her crew of puffy-faced misfits.
354
00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:57,616
Beverly, give it up.
355
00:11:57,641 --> 00:12:00,142
The neighborhood does
not need two watches.
356
00:12:00,167 --> 00:12:02,633
I agree. And I accept your resignation
357
00:12:02,658 --> 00:12:04,547
and embarrassing tearful apology.
358
00:12:04,572 --> 00:12:06,367
- Are you okay, Geoffrey?
- I don't know.
359
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:07,524
Excuse me a sec.
360
00:12:08,181 --> 00:12:11,297
Erica, go for Chief
of Enforcement Bev. Over?
361
00:12:11,322 --> 00:12:13,297
Mom, I told you I don't
want any part of this.
362
00:12:13,322 --> 00:12:15,382
What's that? A disturbance. Over?
363
00:12:15,407 --> 00:12:16,697
Please leave me alone.
364
00:12:16,806 --> 00:12:18,143
A 521?
365
00:12:18,168 --> 00:12:19,768
Copy that. Over!
366
00:12:19,793 --> 00:12:21,851
You keep saying "over,"
but then it's not over.
367
00:12:21,876 --> 00:12:23,648
Chief of Enforcement signing off.
368
00:12:23,915 --> 00:12:25,734
Well, we must go.
369
00:12:25,759 --> 00:12:28,273
And while you're standing around
letting your bodies go to rot,
370
00:12:28,298 --> 00:12:30,726
we'll be keeping mayhem off the streets.
371
00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:32,719
- Lock and load, Schwartz!
- Load what?
372
00:12:32,744 --> 00:12:35,226
- Just follow me.
- Okay, then.
373
00:12:36,207 --> 00:12:37,992
- Bye, Mom.
- Take a bag of nuts.
374
00:12:38,017 --> 00:12:39,828
Don't talk to her.
375
00:12:40,470 --> 00:12:42,454
While our mom headed out to find crime,
376
00:12:42,478 --> 00:12:43,979
my brother and I were planning
377
00:12:44,004 --> 00:12:45,736
to lose our dad at WrestleMania.
378
00:12:45,761 --> 00:12:47,929
Okay, let's go over Operation Ditch Dad
379
00:12:47,954 --> 00:12:49,225
- one more time.
- Okay!
380
00:12:49,250 --> 00:12:50,256
When we arrive,
381
00:12:50,281 --> 00:12:51,948
we immediately ask Dad
382
00:12:51,973 --> 00:12:54,437
to buy us a ton of WrestleMania merch.
383
00:12:54,462 --> 00:12:56,429
And then we head over
to this food station
384
00:12:56,454 --> 00:12:59,474
and have Dad buy us each
a giant 64-ounce Slushie.
385
00:12:59,499 --> 00:13:01,256
Then his bladder will fill,
386
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:03,672
and he'll have to rush to the restroom.
387
00:13:03,697 --> 00:13:06,023
At that point, we go
to the other side of the cage
388
00:13:06,048 --> 00:13:07,815
and exchange our tickets
389
00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:09,674
with some jacked wrestling bros.
390
00:13:09,699 --> 00:13:11,703
Then Dad will return to his seat,
391
00:13:11,728 --> 00:13:15,430
see the jacked bros,
be enraged and confused,
392
00:13:15,455 --> 00:13:17,492
and decide to take a nap in his car.
393
00:13:17,532 --> 00:13:18,967
It's utterly foolproof.
394
00:13:18,992 --> 00:13:21,812
You know, unless our dad actually
wants to spend time with us.
395
00:13:21,837 --> 00:13:24,639
We're talking about our
dad actually being a dad?
396
00:13:24,664 --> 00:13:26,732
And maybe we should
actually enjoy the day
397
00:13:26,757 --> 00:13:28,870
as if we were regular kids who know love
398
00:13:28,895 --> 00:13:30,460
from a male figure in their lives.
399
00:13:30,485 --> 00:13:33,726
And he won't embarrass us
and it'll actually be fun?
400
00:13:34,076 --> 00:13:36,043
Hey, hey, hey! Let's do this!
401
00:13:36,068 --> 00:13:37,695
- Dad?
- What the hell, man?
402
00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:40,115
I've been watching wrestling.
I love "Ding Dong" Randy.
403
00:13:40,140 --> 00:13:42,109
It's "King Kong" Bundy.
404
00:13:42,134 --> 00:13:44,742
And why are you wearing
Erica's old bathing suit?
405
00:13:44,767 --> 00:13:46,804
'Cause it's what a good dad does.
406
00:13:46,829 --> 00:13:49,071
Here, one of you Hulk-a-mannequins
hold my keys.
407
00:13:49,656 --> 00:13:50,716
So we stick with the plan?
408
00:13:50,750 --> 00:13:51,796
We stick with the plan.
409
00:13:51,821 --> 00:13:53,521
And maybe get him a robe on the way out.
410
00:13:53,546 --> 00:13:56,484
As we were hoping to avoid the
most embarrassing dad alive,
411
00:13:56,509 --> 00:13:58,177
our mom was dead set
412
00:13:58,202 --> 00:14:00,170
on proving her value as watch captain.
413
00:14:00,195 --> 00:14:02,257
Please tell me you're
here to call a truce.
414
00:14:02,282 --> 00:14:03,430
And that I can have my son back.
415
00:14:03,454 --> 00:14:06,140
Or did you come here to call us
beefy jelly-bellies and shame us?
416
00:14:06,165 --> 00:14:07,852
Virginia was closest.
417
00:14:08,321 --> 00:14:10,478
Here's a detailed list of infractions
418
00:14:10,503 --> 00:14:12,037
your watch failed to prevent.
419
00:14:12,062 --> 00:14:13,315
Beverly, just let it go.
420
00:14:13,340 --> 00:14:14,374
November 8th,
421
00:14:14,399 --> 00:14:16,968
teens skateboarding in street
with boom boxes blaring.
422
00:14:16,993 --> 00:14:18,894
BevWatch sprays them with garden hose,
423
00:14:18,919 --> 00:14:21,257
assures them, "There's more
where that came from."
424
00:14:21,282 --> 00:14:22,780
You're just being petty and jealous.
425
00:14:22,805 --> 00:14:24,617
When it comes to the safety
of this neighborhood,
426
00:14:24,641 --> 00:14:26,504
there is no length I won't go to.
427
00:14:26,529 --> 00:14:27,538
Stop everything.
428
00:14:27,563 --> 00:14:29,598
I just discovered my car's windshield
429
00:14:29,623 --> 00:14:31,223
had a rock tossed through it!
430
00:14:31,248 --> 00:14:33,535
Damn it! I need to get back out there.
431
00:14:33,560 --> 00:14:34,757
I can't believe I wasted time
432
00:14:34,782 --> 00:14:36,404
talking to you haggard pumpkins!
433
00:14:36,429 --> 00:14:37,452
No need.
434
00:14:37,477 --> 00:14:38,655
Because I think you'll discover
435
00:14:38,679 --> 00:14:40,313
the person who committed this crime
436
00:14:40,338 --> 00:14:43,111
is none other than Beverly Goldberg.
437
00:14:44,173 --> 00:14:46,187
I don't think I like what
you're implying, Jane.
438
00:14:46,212 --> 00:14:47,616
And there was a note attached.
439
00:14:47,641 --> 00:14:49,117
_
440
00:14:50,086 --> 00:14:51,086
Wait.
441
00:14:51,111 --> 00:14:52,383
You all think that I would do this?
442
00:14:52,407 --> 00:14:54,585
- It is something you might say.
- Have said.
443
00:14:54,610 --> 00:14:56,570
- Yeah. Like a lot.
- In front of our children.
444
00:14:56,595 --> 00:14:59,095
In that case, um, [BLEEP] you...
445
00:14:59,579 --> 00:15:03,057
... and your [BLEEP]
frazzled [BLEEP] faces.
446
00:15:03,612 --> 00:15:05,424
I know that doesn't help my case.
447
00:15:05,449 --> 00:15:06,983
But [BLEEP] all of you.
448
00:15:07,008 --> 00:15:08,742
As my mom felt set up,
449
00:15:08,767 --> 00:15:11,064
my brother and I were
ready for a smackdown.
450
00:15:11,089 --> 00:15:12,461
Holy crap!
451
00:15:12,486 --> 00:15:14,753
Dad, these seats are amazing.
452
00:15:14,778 --> 00:15:16,518
And Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant
453
00:15:16,543 --> 00:15:19,479
are about to face off in
arguably the most famous match
454
00:15:19,504 --> 00:15:21,440
in wrestling history, now or ever!
455
00:15:22,183 --> 00:15:23,870
Wrestling with my boys!
456
00:15:23,895 --> 00:15:25,995
Coming off the top rope for a hug!
457
00:15:26,020 --> 00:15:27,659
- Whoa.
- Mm!
458
00:15:27,684 --> 00:15:29,252
That was a fun interaction.
459
00:15:29,277 --> 00:15:32,456
Dad's being super weird and
affectionate, and I kinda love it.
460
00:15:32,481 --> 00:15:34,299
He's being the father
we've always wanted.
461
00:15:34,324 --> 00:15:35,797
It's really off-putting.
462
00:15:35,822 --> 00:15:37,432
Yo, I think you're in our seats.
463
00:15:37,457 --> 00:15:39,766
Nah, nah, nah, pal. We're all good.
464
00:15:39,791 --> 00:15:40,827
These are fake.
465
00:15:40,852 --> 00:15:42,149
No, they're not.
466
00:15:42,834 --> 00:15:44,001
Oh, balls!
467
00:15:44,026 --> 00:15:46,699
WhistleMania, a whistling competition.
468
00:15:46,724 --> 00:15:48,159
What? Whistling?
469
00:15:48,184 --> 00:15:50,912
That's for tea kettles and
letting a lady know she's pretty.
470
00:15:50,937 --> 00:15:52,259
- Come on. Let's go.
- No!
471
00:15:52,284 --> 00:15:53,806
No way! We're not leaving.
472
00:15:53,831 --> 00:15:55,899
- I'm getting security.
- What is happening?!
473
00:15:55,924 --> 00:15:57,976
Are we getting kicked out
of WrestleMania IV?
474
00:15:58,001 --> 00:15:59,579
There's the Hulkster! Go, Hulk!
475
00:15:59,604 --> 00:16:00,689
Whoo!
476
00:16:00,714 --> 00:16:02,514
Oh! It's starting!
477
00:16:02,539 --> 00:16:03,714
And we're gonna miss it all!
478
00:16:03,739 --> 00:16:06,760
And to think, we actually felt
guilty about ditching you!
479
00:16:06,785 --> 00:16:09,456
Wait, you were gonna ditch me
even though I bought you tickets?
480
00:16:09,481 --> 00:16:11,482
You didn't buy us tickets.
These are fakes.
481
00:16:11,507 --> 00:16:13,675
If you really wanted
to spend time with us,
482
00:16:13,700 --> 00:16:14,932
you'd know we hate whistling.
483
00:16:14,957 --> 00:16:16,229
Here comes Andre the Giant!
484
00:16:16,254 --> 00:16:18,006
Oh, man, Hulk's gonna crush you, bro!
485
00:16:18,031 --> 00:16:19,549
You wanna know why I did it?
486
00:16:19,574 --> 00:16:21,581
Because I had a health thing, okay?
487
00:16:22,152 --> 00:16:24,167
My doctor scared the hell out of me.
488
00:16:24,192 --> 00:16:25,759
Wait. What? Dad, are you okay?
489
00:16:25,784 --> 00:16:27,120
I'm fine.
490
00:16:27,145 --> 00:16:29,690
But it made me realize I'm
not gonna be around forever,
491
00:16:29,715 --> 00:16:32,404
and I wanted to make some
memories with you guys,
492
00:16:32,429 --> 00:16:33,909
at least one memory.
493
00:16:36,258 --> 00:16:38,620
Sir, I'm gonna have to
ask you to come with me.
494
00:16:38,864 --> 00:16:41,135
Well, since you were gonna ditch me,
495
00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:43,214
I can assume you'll find a ride home.
496
00:16:43,239 --> 00:16:45,333
Ohh! That had to hurt!
497
00:16:49,173 --> 00:16:51,408
Our mom had been accused of a crime,
498
00:16:51,433 --> 00:16:52,877
she wasn't going to let it stand.
499
00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:54,997
Thank you all for coming
and thank you once again
500
00:16:55,022 --> 00:16:57,226
to my brother-in-arms,
Officer Puchinski.
501
00:16:57,251 --> 00:16:58,716
Well, I assume we're here so
502
00:16:58,741 --> 00:17:00,980
you can fess up to
cracking my car window.
503
00:17:01,005 --> 00:17:03,082
Oh, I did crack something, Jane.
504
00:17:03,107 --> 00:17:04,810
I cracked the case.
505
00:17:05,192 --> 00:17:09,160
Yeah. That's right. The person
who broke the windows was...
506
00:17:09,185 --> 00:17:10,605
... this guy.
507
00:17:10,630 --> 00:17:11,676
A pinecone?
508
00:17:11,701 --> 00:17:13,747
And it would've gotten away
with it if it weren't for you.
509
00:17:13,771 --> 00:17:15,482
Please. I mean,
this is really who you want
510
00:17:15,507 --> 00:17:16,686
leading your neighborhood watch?
511
00:17:16,710 --> 00:17:18,192
Both Ginzy and Geoff
512
00:17:18,217 --> 00:17:20,852
parked underneath the
giant pine tree out front.
513
00:17:20,877 --> 00:17:22,721
The autumn breeze
loosened one of the cones,
514
00:17:22,746 --> 00:17:24,099
and... Whammo!
515
00:17:24,124 --> 00:17:26,200
- Broken glass.
- That does make sense.
516
00:17:26,225 --> 00:17:28,293
Of course! Pinecones!
They're nature's rocks!
517
00:17:28,318 --> 00:17:30,104
Rocks are nat... Never mind.
518
00:17:30,129 --> 00:17:32,041
Okay, but that doesn't
explain who wrote the note
519
00:17:32,065 --> 00:17:34,530
with the colorful Bev language, hmm?
520
00:17:34,555 --> 00:17:35,943
As you may not know,
521
00:17:35,968 --> 00:17:39,013
I set up Adam's video camera
to record our front yard,
522
00:17:39,038 --> 00:17:40,447
and... Oh, my!
523
00:17:40,472 --> 00:17:42,164
I think I have it right here.
524
00:17:43,619 --> 00:17:45,620
Oh, yeah, Adam is whacking
525
00:17:45,645 --> 00:17:47,845
- his, um, opponent, and I...
- Nope, not this.
526
00:17:48,895 --> 00:17:50,311
Okay. Here... Here we go.
527
00:17:50,336 --> 00:17:51,647
There's Jane's car.
528
00:17:51,672 --> 00:17:53,335
And what have we here?
529
00:17:53,360 --> 00:17:54,938
There's Jane.
530
00:17:55,346 --> 00:17:57,100
You vandalized your own car.
531
00:17:57,125 --> 00:17:59,499
Damn right she did, to frame me!
532
00:17:59,524 --> 00:18:01,421
Fine! It's true!
533
00:18:02,518 --> 00:18:04,238
She admitted it! Bev wins!
534
00:18:04,263 --> 00:18:06,125
I'm sorry. I just felt so...
535
00:18:06,469 --> 00:18:08,178
... threatened by you!
536
00:18:08,203 --> 00:18:10,144
You are so smart and cunning,
537
00:18:10,169 --> 00:18:12,421
and you were gonna steal the
neighborhood watch from me.
538
00:18:12,446 --> 00:18:14,039
I had to do something!
539
00:18:14,064 --> 00:18:16,828
You thought I was gonna steal the watch?
540
00:18:17,868 --> 00:18:20,718
That is the sweetest
thing I've ever heard.
541
00:18:20,743 --> 00:18:21,746
- Is it?
- I mean,
542
00:18:21,771 --> 00:18:24,172
you are the neighborhood badass.
543
00:18:24,197 --> 00:18:27,432
I just wanted to walk in
your shoes for a moment.
544
00:18:27,457 --> 00:18:30,740
You would destroy your
own property for power?
545
00:18:32,024 --> 00:18:34,632
That is the kind of
person I need on my watch.
546
00:18:34,657 --> 00:18:36,335
- Is it?
- What are you saying?
547
00:18:36,360 --> 00:18:37,672
I'm saying,
548
00:18:37,697 --> 00:18:40,265
let's join forces and teach each other
549
00:18:40,290 --> 00:18:42,741
how to be nightmares together.
550
00:18:42,766 --> 00:18:44,269
I would love that.
551
00:18:47,588 --> 00:18:49,889
Oh, get over here,
you moldy old peaches.
552
00:18:50,986 --> 00:18:53,967
Aww. Also, everything
about this seems wrong.
553
00:18:53,992 --> 00:18:55,328
Goodbye forever.
554
00:18:55,353 --> 00:18:57,267
While my mom and Jane
were coming together,
555
00:18:57,291 --> 00:18:59,860
our trip to WrestleMania
was falling apart.
556
00:18:59,885 --> 00:19:02,506
I can't believe we're missing
the greatest wrestling match
557
00:19:02,531 --> 00:19:04,546
in the history of humankind.
558
00:19:04,571 --> 00:19:07,391
And I can't believe Dad just
wanted to spend time with us.
559
00:19:07,416 --> 00:19:09,270
It's not just that.
560
00:19:09,295 --> 00:19:11,463
He went to something he hated for us,
561
00:19:11,488 --> 00:19:13,688
and instead, we body-slammed his heart.
562
00:19:15,425 --> 00:19:17,085
I couldn't help, but overhear.
563
00:19:17,110 --> 00:19:18,937
- The Hulkster?
- Hulk Hogan?
564
00:19:18,962 --> 00:19:21,097
- Listen, brother.
- He knows we're brothers.
565
00:19:21,122 --> 00:19:23,358
Your dad sounds like a
pretty good father, brother.
566
00:19:23,383 --> 00:19:25,358
No, he's our dad.
567
00:19:25,383 --> 00:19:26,561
We're brothers.
568
00:19:26,586 --> 00:19:27,822
I'm your biggest fan,
569
00:19:27,847 --> 00:19:29,617
but you sound like an idiot right now.
570
00:19:29,641 --> 00:19:31,741
Look, if your dad wants
to make an effort,
571
00:19:31,766 --> 00:19:32,984
you should, too.
572
00:19:33,009 --> 00:19:34,729
You've only got one father, brother.
573
00:19:34,754 --> 00:19:37,088
Whoa, he drops fools and knowledge!
574
00:19:37,113 --> 00:19:38,944
I'm on it, Hulk! Thank you!
575
00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:40,025
Scram!
576
00:19:40,050 --> 00:19:41,584
Yep, thanks to Hulkster,
577
00:19:41,609 --> 00:19:44,125
me and Barry knew exactly
what we needed to do.
578
00:19:44,150 --> 00:19:46,086
Hey, Dad.
579
00:19:46,309 --> 00:19:47,475
Can we hang with you?
580
00:19:47,500 --> 00:19:49,834
Whatever. It's a free country.
581
00:19:49,859 --> 00:19:51,711
We just want to let you know,
582
00:19:51,736 --> 00:19:53,581
we're sorry we were gonna ditch you.
583
00:19:53,606 --> 00:19:56,708
And even though we didn't see the match,
584
00:19:56,733 --> 00:19:59,149
we did see something even better...
585
00:19:59,174 --> 00:20:01,489
You trying to get into wrestling for us.
586
00:20:01,514 --> 00:20:02,881
But there's one thing we love
587
00:20:02,906 --> 00:20:04,578
even more than wrestling...
588
00:20:04,946 --> 00:20:06,102
You.
589
00:20:06,533 --> 00:20:09,297
So let's do stuff together,
590
00:20:09,322 --> 00:20:11,625
no matter how embarrassing.
591
00:20:12,558 --> 00:20:14,125
You know what?
592
00:20:14,150 --> 00:20:15,788
I guess I'd like that.
593
00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:19,802
That's the thing about spending
time with your family.
594
00:20:19,826 --> 00:20:23,231
Sometimes the smallest change
will make the biggest difference.
595
00:20:23,711 --> 00:20:26,948
And sometimes it takes a
no-holds-barred grudge match
596
00:20:26,973 --> 00:20:28,981
to find out who your friends really are.
597
00:20:29,801 --> 00:20:31,819
We never went to see WrestleMania again,
598
00:20:31,844 --> 00:20:33,812
but we started a new tradition.
599
00:20:33,837 --> 00:20:35,948
Every year, we'd sit with our dad
600
00:20:35,973 --> 00:20:37,682
and watch it on TV.
601
00:20:37,717 --> 00:20:40,191
And looking back, it was the best.
602
00:20:40,350 --> 00:20:42,684
Because it's those everyday
moments you take for granted
603
00:20:42,709 --> 00:20:45,729
that truly, truly mean the most.
604
00:20:45,754 --> 00:20:46,854
Body slam!
605
00:20:46,879 --> 00:20:48,760
_
606
00:20:48,785 --> 00:20:53,402
Adam is whacking...
Um, whacking his, um opponent.
607
00:20:53,427 --> 00:20:55,176
All right, well, let's go.
608
00:20:55,201 --> 00:20:56,267
Turn this off.
609
00:20:56,292 --> 00:20:57,753
You can't turn it off.
610
00:20:57,778 --> 00:21:00,003
You can't turn it off!
611
00:21:00,150 --> 00:21:04,744
Okay, this is a Royal Rumble,
no-holds-barred cage match.
612
00:21:04,758 --> 00:21:08,174
You can expect no mercy
and several butt hats.
613
00:21:08,199 --> 00:21:11,260
Great. One thing, I brought backup.
614
00:21:11,598 --> 00:21:13,642
Tag me in, brother.
615
00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:16,142
Hulk Hogan? Oh, no.
616
00:21:16,167 --> 00:21:18,301
Now go wreck my brother, brother.
617
00:21:18,326 --> 00:21:20,432
The Hulkster obliges, brother.
618
00:21:20,457 --> 00:21:22,432
No! Self-sleeper hold!
619
00:21:23,062 --> 00:21:25,213
You got a weird brother, brother.
620
00:21:25,238 --> 00:21:27,198
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com