1
00:00:01,202 --> 00:00:02,470
ADULT ADAM: Ah,
the phones of the '80s,

2
00:00:02,603 --> 00:00:04,972
kitschy, colorful
and enormous.

3
00:00:05,106 --> 00:00:06,874
And my dad hated
all of them.

4
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,876
Especially when he couldn't
get through to the house.

5
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:11,179
A busy signal?

6
00:00:11,312 --> 00:00:14,215
Oh, what kind of
Chatty Charlie
is hogging the line?

7
00:00:14,348 --> 00:00:16,517
Piece of crap
garbage children!

8
00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:18,352
If you met them,
you'd know!

9
00:00:18,486 --> 00:00:20,288
ADULT ADAM: But then we got
the cutting-edge tech

10
00:00:20,421 --> 00:00:22,123
that would end
the busy signal forever...

11
00:00:22,256 --> 00:00:23,691
Call waiting.

12
00:00:23,824 --> 00:00:26,127
I love you more
than the Cookie Monster
loves cookies.

13
00:00:26,260 --> 00:00:28,696
Whoa, (CHUCKLES)
that's a lot.

14
00:00:28,829 --> 00:00:29,830
(LINE BEEPS)
Is that your call waiting?

15
00:00:29,963 --> 00:00:31,165
Let me get rid of them.

16
00:00:32,600 --> 00:00:34,168
Goldbergs.

17
00:00:34,302 --> 00:00:37,371
And if this is for Barry,
he's instructed me to say
"Wassup, girl."

18
00:00:37,505 --> 00:00:39,707
I've been calling
for ten minutes!
Didn't you hear the beep?

19
00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:41,041
Oh, sorry, Dad.

20
00:00:41,175 --> 00:00:42,676
Put your mom on.

21
00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:44,812
Who knew there was more
than one kind of onion?

22
00:00:44,945 --> 00:00:47,881
Mom, Dad's calling,
but make it fast
'cause I'm talking to Brea!

23
00:00:48,015 --> 00:00:49,583
Just a sec,
Schmoopie Poops.

24
00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:52,253
I'm adding some flavor
to my Swedish meatballs.

25
00:00:52,386 --> 00:00:53,954
Dad, it's gonna be a while.
Let me get back to Brea.

26
00:00:54,088 --> 00:00:55,689
No, no, no, don't you
do the click over.

27
00:00:55,823 --> 00:00:58,259
Ooh, my finger's already
in motion.

28
00:00:58,392 --> 00:00:59,893
Sorry, my love.

29
00:01:00,027 --> 00:01:01,395
My dumb dad
was on the line.

30
00:01:01,529 --> 00:01:02,930
It's still me, moron!

31
00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:04,465
Whoops.

32
00:01:04,598 --> 00:01:05,566
Brea?
Hey.

33
00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:07,034
Where'd he go?
(BEEPING)

34
00:01:07,168 --> 00:01:08,669
RECORDING: Please
deposit ten cents.

35
00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:11,905
Fine! I'm gonna get
every onion there is!

36
00:01:12,039 --> 00:01:13,607
I will take away

37
00:01:13,741 --> 00:01:16,444
everything and everyone
you love forever!

38
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:17,678
Too much club,
sweetie.

39
00:01:17,811 --> 00:01:19,046
Well, then, fine!

40
00:01:19,180 --> 00:01:21,249
I'll throw your bedroom
into the ocean!

41
00:01:21,382 --> 00:01:22,850
Moving closer,
but still a miss.

42
00:01:22,983 --> 00:01:26,987
All right, I will remove
all of your precious phones!

43
00:01:28,356 --> 00:01:30,023
Mom, talk to
your husband.

44
00:01:30,158 --> 00:01:31,359
We need phones.

45
00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:32,993
What if there's
a medical emergency?

46
00:01:33,127 --> 00:01:34,995
There will be
if you don't move
out of my way!

47
00:01:36,797 --> 00:01:38,532
Dad!

48
00:01:38,666 --> 00:01:40,168
Okay, Murray,
there's too much slack.

49
00:01:41,335 --> 00:01:42,970
** I'm twisted up inside

50
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:46,274
** But nonetheless
I feel the need to say

51
00:01:48,876 --> 00:01:50,444
** I don't know the future

52
00:01:50,578 --> 00:01:54,114
** But the past keeps getting
clearer every day **

53
00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:56,650
ADULT ADAM: It was
November 18th, 1980-something,

54
00:01:56,784 --> 00:01:59,620
and the Jenkintown Posse
was back in action.

55
00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:01,922
Your lives
may begin again!

56
00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:04,492
Your magnetic and
voluptuous leader
has returned!

57
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:05,626
JTP!

58
00:02:05,759 --> 00:02:06,727
TOGETHER: JTP!

59
00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:08,662
Hmm, the place
seems different.

60
00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:10,464
Where's all the
sadness and stench
of a litter box

61
00:02:10,598 --> 00:02:11,565
even though
there's no cat?

62
00:02:11,699 --> 00:02:12,666
Oh, Erica's been helping them

63
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:13,767
spruce the place up.

64
00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:15,436
Mostly, it's just cleaning.

65
00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:17,104
Did you know that
there was a fireplace
behind the gum wall?

66
00:02:17,238 --> 00:02:19,307
Okay, emergency
JTP announcements.

67
00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:20,774
One, I am now single

68
00:02:20,908 --> 00:02:22,443
and free to hang
around the clock.

69
00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:23,944
Two, turn
this place back

70
00:02:24,077 --> 00:02:25,446
into the filthy
hell I love.

71
00:02:25,579 --> 00:02:26,880
Dude, they can't
live in a dump.

72
00:02:27,014 --> 00:02:27,948
They have
girlfriends now.

73
00:02:28,081 --> 00:02:29,383
Oh, please!

74
00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:30,818
These loveless,
unlovable dummies

75
00:02:30,951 --> 00:02:32,553
don't have love
in their love-
deprived lives.

76
00:02:32,686 --> 00:02:33,787
But we do.

77
00:02:33,921 --> 00:02:35,356
I met Beth
when she came
in The Gap

78
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:36,657
looking for
a fitted cable
knit sweater,

79
00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:38,025
and she left
with my heart.

80
00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:39,460
"Dear Penthouse letters,

81
00:02:39,593 --> 00:02:40,894
"I have a story
you'll never use."

82
00:02:41,028 --> 00:02:42,496
My special lady is Gwen.

83
00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:43,931
Her purity ring says no,

84
00:02:44,064 --> 00:02:45,466
but her anger at her father
says yes.

85
00:02:45,599 --> 00:02:47,435
Gwen sounds like
a poor man's Beth.

86
00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:49,970
I've recently begun
a dalliance with Laura.

87
00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:52,139
She embraces
my nudist lifestyle

88
00:02:52,273 --> 00:02:54,442
but asks that I put a towel
down on her couch.

89
00:02:54,575 --> 00:02:56,244
Sounds like you guys got
a pretty good poker hand:

90
00:02:56,377 --> 00:02:57,345
three fives.

91
00:02:57,478 --> 00:02:58,579
Now let's go to the Wawa

92
00:02:58,712 --> 00:03:00,948
and play some classic
JTP smash ball.

93
00:03:01,081 --> 00:03:02,182
Is that where you smash
fruit with swords

94
00:03:02,316 --> 00:03:03,517
and tennis racquets,

95
00:03:03,651 --> 00:03:05,219
and the guy who works there
spends hours hosing it down?

96
00:03:05,353 --> 00:03:06,687
Erica knows her sports.

97
00:03:06,820 --> 00:03:08,456
Ah, we're gonna need
a rain check, man.

98
00:03:08,589 --> 00:03:09,923
We have a quadruple date
at Bennigan's.

99
00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:12,460
Our ladies like to day drink
in a funky atmosphere.

100
00:03:12,593 --> 00:03:14,462
But article nine
of the JTP bylaws

101
00:03:14,595 --> 00:03:16,830
states that all
members must
heed the wishes

102
00:03:16,964 --> 00:03:18,832
of its most jacked
leader. Me.

103
00:03:18,966 --> 00:03:20,634
I don't remember
signing off on that one.

104
00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:21,969
That's because
it was just added.

105
00:03:22,102 --> 00:03:23,971
The JTP Constitution
is a living document.

106
00:03:24,104 --> 00:03:25,606
Yeah, these rules
seem to change

107
00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:26,974
based on
your arbitrary whims.

108
00:03:27,107 --> 00:03:28,309
Naked Rob gets it.

109
00:03:28,442 --> 00:03:29,443
Now let's grab a weapon

110
00:03:29,577 --> 00:03:30,644
and smash some stuff.

111
00:03:30,778 --> 00:03:31,845
I call whatever this is!

112
00:03:31,979 --> 00:03:33,213
Ooh, that's our decorative
river cane.

113
00:03:33,347 --> 00:03:34,315
Let's...
Let's leave that be.

114
00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:36,250
Now I'm angrier than Gwen
at her father.

115
00:03:36,384 --> 00:03:38,386
Damn it! I learned her name.
Let's move!

116
00:03:38,519 --> 00:03:40,554
ADULT ADAM: While Barry
forced the JTP to hang,

117
00:03:40,688 --> 00:03:42,256
I was without a phone

118
00:03:42,390 --> 00:03:44,425
and forced to connect
with Brea
the old-fashioned way...

119
00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:45,759
Pen and paper.

120
00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:49,029
"Brea, my light,
my heart..."

121
00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:51,064
"...is laid bare
before you.

122
00:03:51,198 --> 00:03:52,400
"I give you all of me,

123
00:03:52,533 --> 00:03:54,001
"and in return
I require nothing

124
00:03:54,134 --> 00:03:55,536
"but to see your smile,

125
00:03:55,669 --> 00:03:57,838
"more glorious
than any sunrise."

126
00:03:57,971 --> 00:03:59,873
ADULT ADAM: Okay,
Shakespeare we were not,

127
00:04:00,007 --> 00:04:01,542
but these were
sweet nothings

128
00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:03,277
shared between
just the two of us.

129
00:04:03,411 --> 00:04:05,313
"My dearest sweet Adam..."

130
00:04:05,446 --> 00:04:07,715
"...you are my sun
and my moon."

131
00:04:07,848 --> 00:04:09,317
ADULT ADAM:
And apparently my mom.

132
00:04:09,450 --> 00:04:11,752
"Until our lips meet again,
I am lost.

133
00:04:11,885 --> 00:04:16,890
"I can't wait until we are
eternally bonded in marriage.

134
00:04:17,024 --> 00:04:18,892
"Man and wife."

135
00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:20,093
Oh, no!

136
00:04:21,529 --> 00:04:22,963
(BLEEP) no!

137
00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:24,598
Murray, turn off
your best friend!

138
00:04:24,732 --> 00:04:25,866
We got a problem!

139
00:04:25,999 --> 00:04:27,200
Is that the electric bill?

140
00:04:27,335 --> 00:04:28,569
Because I told
those kids,

141
00:04:28,702 --> 00:04:30,638
"Hey, you don't open
that refrigerator

142
00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:31,972
"until you know
what you want!"

143
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,475
It's Adam and Brea's
love letters.

144
00:04:34,608 --> 00:04:35,776
They're discussing
marriage!

145
00:04:35,909 --> 00:04:37,545
They've only known
each other like a week.

146
00:04:37,678 --> 00:04:38,712
They've been dating
for over a year.

147
00:04:38,846 --> 00:04:40,080
She came to Miami
with us.

148
00:04:40,213 --> 00:04:42,049
Ah! I know
who you're talking about.

149
00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:45,719
Big girl, like six feet,
blonde hair, 200 pounds,

150
00:04:45,853 --> 00:04:47,488
big wine-stain birthmark
on her face.

151
00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,757
No! And who is that?

152
00:04:49,890 --> 00:04:52,526
They're already tossing around
names for their children.

153
00:04:52,660 --> 00:04:54,628
They want to name
their son Cameron.

154
00:04:54,762 --> 00:04:56,530
My first instinct
is to do nothing.

155
00:04:56,664 --> 00:04:57,631
I'm gonna go with that.

156
00:04:57,765 --> 00:04:59,232
You're not shocked
by any of this?

157
00:04:59,367 --> 00:05:01,369
Nah. My first girlfriend?

158
00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:03,270
I told her
I would die for her.

159
00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:04,638
We broke up a week later.

160
00:05:04,772 --> 00:05:05,839
Just found out she died.

161
00:05:05,973 --> 00:05:08,308
Nobody cares about
your old, dead trollops.

162
00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:09,810
I'm worried about Adam.

163
00:05:09,943 --> 00:05:13,313
My point is, young couples
say all sorts of dumb stuff.

164
00:05:13,447 --> 00:05:15,616
Well, what if this
isn't just stuff?

165
00:05:15,749 --> 00:05:18,986
This girl could be
our future daughter-in-law.
We barely know her.

166
00:05:19,119 --> 00:05:22,423
We know her. Big girl
with the Gorbachev thing
on her face.

167
00:05:22,556 --> 00:05:25,125
That's very specific.
Who are you thinking of?

168
00:05:25,258 --> 00:05:26,494
I don't know.

169
00:05:26,627 --> 00:05:28,328
But why are we on the hook
for all this?

170
00:05:28,462 --> 00:05:31,499
Call up her parents
and let them destroy
young hearts.

171
00:05:31,632 --> 00:05:33,601
That's a great idea,
Murray.

172
00:05:33,734 --> 00:05:36,604
Except we don't have
a phone to call them!

173
00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:39,172
So go down the street
and use the pay phone

174
00:05:39,306 --> 00:05:40,874
like I do
to order calzones.

175
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:43,010
Why am I the only one
with good ideas?

176
00:05:43,143 --> 00:05:46,113
ADULT ADAM: As my mom
thought of ways to reach out
to Brea's parents,

177
00:05:46,246 --> 00:05:48,081
the JTP were returning
to their roots.

178
00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:49,349
(CHEERING)

179
00:05:49,483 --> 00:05:50,784
They sliced stuff.

180
00:05:51,452 --> 00:05:52,620
Pina colada!

181
00:05:52,753 --> 00:05:54,287
They crushed stuff.

182
00:05:54,422 --> 00:05:57,057
ALL: Ohh!
Told ya!

183
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:58,258
Then they blew stuff up.

184
00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:00,494
Whoo!

185
00:06:00,628 --> 00:06:02,630
(LAUGHS)
That was bananas!

186
00:06:02,763 --> 00:06:05,566
Firecrackers and wordplay!
This is the best!

187
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,334
Well. this seems like
a natural stopping point.

188
00:06:07,468 --> 00:06:08,902
I gotta boogie.

189
00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:10,337
You know how Erica
gets when I'm tardy.
Yeah, I should go too.

190
00:06:10,471 --> 00:06:11,739
Same.
Me too.

191
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:14,307
But I have a long list
of other fun things
to destroy.

192
00:06:14,442 --> 00:06:16,877
We love you, bud,
but our lovely ladies
are waiting for us.

193
00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:19,980
Well, I'm afraid
you've given me
no choice

194
00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:22,315
but to order you to break up
with your girlfriends.

195
00:06:22,450 --> 00:06:23,717
(CHUCKLES)
You can't do that.

196
00:06:23,851 --> 00:06:24,985
Oh, but I can.

197
00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:27,220
Tell Linda, Essie
and Ginzy it's over.

198
00:06:27,354 --> 00:06:29,322
Those aren't their names,
and we're not gonna do that.

199
00:06:29,457 --> 00:06:30,390
We like them a lot.

200
00:06:30,524 --> 00:06:31,825
More than me,
your best friend?

201
00:06:31,959 --> 00:06:33,326
Well...
It's not the same.

202
00:06:33,461 --> 00:06:34,795
Their hugs
are different.

203
00:06:34,928 --> 00:06:36,564
Oh, get over here!

204
00:06:36,697 --> 00:06:38,666
There's not a lady alive
I can't out-hug.

205
00:06:38,799 --> 00:06:41,034
Bar, if anyone
should understand why
we wanna spend time

206
00:06:41,168 --> 00:06:42,570
with our girlfriends,
it's you.

207
00:06:42,703 --> 00:06:43,737
Yeah, you totally
disappeared

208
00:06:43,871 --> 00:06:45,473
when you were dating
Ren and Lainey.

209
00:06:45,606 --> 00:06:47,575
Hmm. This all
makes sense now.

210
00:06:47,708 --> 00:06:49,543
As long as you have love
in your life,

211
00:06:49,677 --> 00:06:50,844
you won't ever
have time for me.

212
00:06:50,978 --> 00:06:52,680
Awesome.
Your tone is ominous,

213
00:06:52,813 --> 00:06:55,115
but I'm glad
we could figure this out.

214
00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:57,718
Oh, it's figured.
It's figured but good.

215
00:06:57,851 --> 00:06:59,687
Hey, get back here
and clean this up!

216
00:06:59,820 --> 00:07:02,289
ADULT ADAM: While Barry
cooked up a surprise
for the JTP,

217
00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:05,225
I got a surprise visit
from my girlfriend's mom.

218
00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:07,127
Hey, Adam.
Mrs. Bee?

219
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:09,429
What are you doing here
in my home

220
00:07:09,563 --> 00:07:10,898
where my dubious family
resides?

221
00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:13,501
You okay? You seem
a little startled to see me.

222
00:07:13,634 --> 00:07:15,469
Oh, not too startled,
I hope.

223
00:07:15,603 --> 00:07:17,871
(CHUCKLES)
Adam tends to get
a leaky fuel line

224
00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:19,406
under the smallest
amount of pressure.

225
00:07:19,540 --> 00:07:21,809
What?
We're talking
oil and gas.

226
00:07:21,942 --> 00:07:23,477
Mom! It was one
Fourth of July!

227
00:07:23,611 --> 00:07:27,715
I see. Uh, your mom
invited me over
to get to know each other,

228
00:07:27,848 --> 00:07:30,050
and I already feel like
I know too much.

229
00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:31,852
Excuse us for a sec.

230
00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:33,487
Why is my girlfriend's
mom here?

231
00:07:33,621 --> 00:07:34,788
Well, you've been dating
a long time,

232
00:07:34,922 --> 00:07:36,724
and you are
her sun and moon.

233
00:07:36,857 --> 00:07:38,291
You read my letters!
Those are private!

234
00:07:38,425 --> 00:07:40,694
You should know that nothing
in this house is private.

235
00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:42,229
That's why I took the doors
off the bathrooms.

236
00:07:42,362 --> 00:07:43,897
You said the handyman
was painting them.

237
00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:45,666
And to be clear:
no grandson of mine

238
00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:46,900
is gonna be named Cameron.

239
00:07:47,034 --> 00:07:49,102
We're also
considering Joshua.

240
00:07:49,236 --> 00:07:50,804
I've already got
your kids' names picked out.

241
00:07:50,938 --> 00:07:53,106
The boys will be Eli,
Jacob and Samuel.

242
00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:54,908
And the twins will be named
Sasha and Lily.

243
00:07:55,042 --> 00:07:56,309
Five kids?
Don't worry.

244
00:07:56,443 --> 00:07:58,111
I'll be there the whole time
to help out.

245
00:07:58,245 --> 00:07:59,913
MURRAY: I'm home!

246
00:08:00,047 --> 00:08:01,949
Doesn't mean it's the start
of a conversation.

247
00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:03,951
Dad! Put your pants
back on!

248
00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:06,119
Vicki Bee is here!
The principal?

249
00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:07,921
No, Murray,
I'm Brea's mom.

250
00:08:08,055 --> 00:08:09,322
It's nice
to finally meet you.

251
00:08:09,456 --> 00:08:11,992
I'm sorry. I wish
somebody would've called

252
00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:14,461
and let me know
I'd be uncomfortable
in my own home.

253
00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:17,264
We would have except Murray
got rid of all the phones.

254
00:08:17,397 --> 00:08:20,133
Because this moron
was constantly
tying up the line,

255
00:08:20,267 --> 00:08:21,869
talking to
his moron girlfriend!

256
00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,537
Whose mom
is right here!

257
00:08:23,671 --> 00:08:26,740
Great, we're
practically family.
Off they go.

258
00:08:26,874 --> 00:08:28,976
ADULT ADAM: Yeah,
Mrs. Bee in my house
was bound to be bad.

259
00:08:29,109 --> 00:08:31,645
But then the craziest thing
happened.

260
00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:33,346
She and my mom
became fast friends.

261
00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:36,516
I probably shouldn't
admit this but...

262
00:08:36,650 --> 00:08:39,753
I took a teeny peek at one of
Adam and Brea's love letters.

263
00:08:39,887 --> 00:08:41,521
I read 'em all.
Me too.

264
00:08:41,655 --> 00:08:43,123
It was a little upsetting.

265
00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:45,458
So tell me,
how do we pull the reins

266
00:08:45,593 --> 00:08:47,861
on their stupid,
misguided, teenage love?

267
00:08:47,995 --> 00:08:49,797
Maybe we talk to them
as adults?

268
00:08:49,930 --> 00:08:51,264
Ooh, I got one.

269
00:08:51,398 --> 00:08:52,800
We trick them into thinking
that marriage

270
00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:55,669
is a faulty,
loveless institution

271
00:08:55,803 --> 00:08:58,005
that yields no permanent joy
or happiness.

272
00:08:58,138 --> 00:08:59,139
Oh, I've already
done that.

273
00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:00,273
Oh?

274
00:09:00,407 --> 00:09:02,542
Brea's dad and I
went through a nasty split.

275
00:09:02,676 --> 00:09:03,944
Wasdatnow?
Yeah, we're divorced.

276
00:09:04,077 --> 00:09:05,345
ADULT ADAM: Yep,
back in the day,

277
00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:07,347
people were uncomfortable
with the "D" word.

278
00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:10,250
Oh. Wow.
My mom was definitely
one of them.

279
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:13,153
Truthfully, it ended up
being the best thing
for everyone.

280
00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:17,557
With that, my mom realized
Mrs. Bee's past
might affect my future.

281
00:09:17,691 --> 00:09:19,793
So she did this.

282
00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:21,729
Murray,
we've got to break up
Adam and Brea!

283
00:09:21,862 --> 00:09:22,896
Damn right!

284
00:09:23,030 --> 00:09:24,832
That lady's
way too old for him.

285
00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:30,704
ADULT ADAM: My mom
was upset over the news
of Vicki's divorce,

286
00:09:30,838 --> 00:09:31,939
and my dad wasn't helping.

287
00:09:32,072 --> 00:09:33,206
So this doesn't
bother you?

288
00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:34,808
She's divorced,
big deal.

289
00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:37,377
So you don't care
about Adam
splitting with Brea

290
00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:39,680
and only seeing his children
half the time?

291
00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:43,917
So help me, if she takes those
little munchkins out of state,
I will kidnap them!

292
00:09:44,051 --> 00:09:46,019
So you think Brea
will divorce Adam

293
00:09:46,153 --> 00:09:47,721
just because her mom
is divorced?

294
00:09:47,855 --> 00:09:50,590
Yes. Children repeat
the mistakes of their parents.

295
00:09:50,724 --> 00:09:52,059
We have to stop Adam.
(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)

296
00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:53,060
Stop me from doing what?

297
00:09:54,494 --> 00:09:56,864
Oh, baby, sit down.

298
00:09:56,997 --> 00:10:00,701
We have some
upsetting news
about Brea.

299
00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:03,771
Brea's mother, Vicki...

300
00:10:03,904 --> 00:10:05,072
(WHISPERING)
...is divorced.

301
00:10:05,205 --> 00:10:06,840
What are you saying?
(WHISPERING) Divorced.

302
00:10:06,974 --> 00:10:08,175
Still can't hear you.

303
00:10:08,308 --> 00:10:09,977
Dee. Vorced.
The Force?

304
00:10:10,110 --> 00:10:11,578
Dee. Vorced.
From Star Wars?

305
00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:13,280
(WHISPERING) Divorced.
What are you saying?

306
00:10:13,413 --> 00:10:16,684
Divorced!
The woman is divorced!

307
00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:18,418
Oh. Yeah, I know.

308
00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:20,287
(IN NORMAL VOICE)
That harpy told you about
her broken marriage?

309
00:10:20,420 --> 00:10:22,455
No, I kinda figured it out
when her dad lived
in a different house.

310
00:10:22,589 --> 00:10:24,591
Without his family?

311
00:10:24,725 --> 00:10:26,559
Is he ever not smiling?

312
00:10:26,694 --> 00:10:28,295
Adam, let me tell you a story.

313
00:10:28,428 --> 00:10:31,598
No. I don't wanna hear
how your aunt's handyman's
mom got divorced

314
00:10:31,732 --> 00:10:33,233
and now she's living
in a giant soup can.

315
00:10:33,366 --> 00:10:35,235
It was my manicurist's
roof guy

316
00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:37,570
who lost so much
in his split

317
00:10:37,705 --> 00:10:38,872
that they turned
his water off

318
00:10:39,006 --> 00:10:40,607
and he had to bathe
in a lake.

319
00:10:40,741 --> 00:10:43,443
Snapping turtles
took his toes, lips

320
00:10:43,576 --> 00:10:45,412
and a nice chunk
of one buttock,

321
00:10:45,545 --> 00:10:48,181
and now he's got to sit
crotch down.

322
00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:50,283
None of that happened
to any person.

323
00:10:50,417 --> 00:10:52,619
I only bring this up
because you and Brea

324
00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:54,487
have been discussing
your futures,

325
00:10:54,621 --> 00:10:57,791
and I don't think
that she has
the best role models.

326
00:10:57,925 --> 00:10:59,292
And what do I have?

327
00:10:59,426 --> 00:11:01,328
No boundaries
and no bottoms.

328
00:11:01,461 --> 00:11:03,096
The kid's pretty clever.
When's he gonna
get a girlfriend?

329
00:11:03,230 --> 00:11:04,865
Adam, you need to
listen to me!

330
00:11:04,998 --> 00:11:07,267
Divorce is
no laughing matter!

331
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:10,103
I don't want you to be
one of those sad sacks

332
00:11:10,237 --> 00:11:12,505
who has to go on dates
in his thirties!

333
00:11:12,639 --> 00:11:13,373
In his thirties!

334
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:14,808
Stop!

335
00:11:14,942 --> 00:11:16,844
Divorce isn't
some horrible thing!

336
00:11:16,977 --> 00:11:19,646
Just because Brea's mom is
doesn't mean
it's inevitable for us.

337
00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:21,815
Okay, so you're not
gonna listen to me.

338
00:11:21,949 --> 00:11:24,117
Maybe you'll listen to one
of your esteemed heroes.

339
00:11:26,319 --> 00:11:28,355
You think these bozos
are my heroes?

340
00:11:28,488 --> 00:11:30,290
It's the best
I could do.

341
00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:31,959
Thank you for agreeing
to speak with us.

342
00:11:32,092 --> 00:11:33,693
We didn't agree.

343
00:11:33,827 --> 00:11:35,628
This is a hostage situation.

344
00:11:35,763 --> 00:11:37,164
Well, while we're
waiting for help,

345
00:11:37,297 --> 00:11:38,966
let's find out more
about you people.

346
00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:41,168
I'd prefer to keep
my private life private.

347
00:11:41,301 --> 00:11:42,803
Oh, not me.
I talked about my gout

348
00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:45,072
on a sports call-in show
this morning.
What do you want to know?

349
00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:46,673
Dale, are you
currently married?

350
00:11:46,807 --> 00:11:49,142
Nope, split
as the pea soup
I eat alone

351
00:11:49,276 --> 00:11:50,643
in my bachelors-only building.

352
00:11:50,778 --> 00:11:52,245
Your divorce
must have been difficult.

353
00:11:52,379 --> 00:11:53,914
Actually,
it was the best.

354
00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:55,715
What?
Yup. I was finally free

355
00:11:55,849 --> 00:11:57,550
from the lies
about why our carpenter

356
00:11:57,684 --> 00:11:59,352
was always wearing
my bathrobe

357
00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:01,588
or coming with
me and Gretchen
on vacation.

358
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:02,856
Ignore him.

359
00:12:02,990 --> 00:12:05,558
Ball, you're
a tragic divorcee, right?

360
00:12:05,692 --> 00:12:08,261
Happily married
for thirty glorious years.

361
00:12:08,395 --> 00:12:11,064
But you always seem
so bald and miserable.

362
00:12:11,198 --> 00:12:12,632
This going how you thought
it was gonna go?

363
00:12:12,766 --> 00:12:15,602
Fine. Surely you have
tragic tales of dating.

364
00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:17,004
Au contraire.

365
00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:19,206
The pool of unattached
older gals is deep.

366
00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:21,508
Desperate, widowed bitties
want attention,

367
00:12:21,641 --> 00:12:23,410
and I'm just the young buck
to give it to 'em.

368
00:12:23,543 --> 00:12:25,979
Enough. No one cares
if Brea's mom is divorced.

369
00:12:26,113 --> 00:12:28,015
Brea Bee's hot mom
is on the market?

370
00:12:28,148 --> 00:12:29,516
Tell her I have
most of my original teeth.

371
00:12:29,649 --> 00:12:32,685
Well, excuse me
for wanting
to protect you.

372
00:12:32,820 --> 00:12:35,522
Protect him from what?
He's never gonna do better
than Brea Bee. Ever.

373
00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:36,924
I mean, ever.

374
00:12:37,057 --> 00:12:38,191
PRINCIPAL BALL:
It's true.

375
00:12:38,325 --> 00:12:39,960
We spend hours
in the teachers' lounge

376
00:12:40,093 --> 00:12:42,662
trying to figure out
how he landed her
in the first place.

377
00:12:42,796 --> 00:12:44,097
My guess is she got hit
on the head

378
00:12:44,231 --> 00:12:45,365
and it damaged
the part of her brain

379
00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:47,234
that processes odd shapes.

380
00:12:47,367 --> 00:12:48,869
This is starting
to feel personal.

381
00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:50,838
It is. Ha!

382
00:12:50,971 --> 00:12:53,140
ADULT ADAM: While my mom's
plan to break up
me and Brea broke down,

383
00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:55,642
Barry was planning
a few breakups of his own,

384
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:58,178
one JTP member at a time.

385
00:12:58,311 --> 00:12:59,847
Good afternoon,
it's Matt Bradley.

386
00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:01,248
(HIGH-PITCHED VOICE)
Hi, Matt Bradley,
it's your girlfriend.

387
00:13:01,381 --> 00:13:02,816
Beth?
You sound weird.

388
00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:04,417
You sound weird!

389
00:13:04,551 --> 00:13:06,753
Which is one of the reasons
why I'm breaking up with you.

390
00:13:06,887 --> 00:13:07,720
Don't look for answers.

391
00:13:07,855 --> 00:13:09,089
Bye!

392
00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:10,323
(DIAL TONE)

393
00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:11,791
One down...

394
00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:13,526
(NORMAL VOICE)
Three to go.

395
00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:16,196
ADULT ADAM: Yep,
he used every trick
in the breakup book,

396
00:13:16,329 --> 00:13:17,464
like the Dear John letter.

397
00:13:17,597 --> 00:13:19,967
"Dear Rob, it's over.

398
00:13:20,100 --> 00:13:22,469
"Sincerely,
Naked Rob's girlfriend.

399
00:13:22,602 --> 00:13:24,237
"Don't look for answers."

400
00:13:24,371 --> 00:13:25,238
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
ADULT ADAM: The intimidating
home-wrecker.

401
00:13:25,372 --> 00:13:27,007
Andy Cogan?
Yeah?

402
00:13:27,140 --> 00:13:29,242
I'm your romantic rival,
and I have easily claimed
your girlfriend.

403
00:13:29,376 --> 00:13:31,611
What? But you're
a turtlenecked child!

404
00:13:31,744 --> 00:13:33,780
A turtlenecked child with
a fresh twenty in his pocket!

405
00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:35,482
What?
Don't look for answers.

406
00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:37,650
ADULT ADAM: And for Geoff,
he straight-up lied.

407
00:13:37,784 --> 00:13:38,785
Oh, hey, Barry.
What's up?

408
00:13:38,919 --> 00:13:41,354
Terrible news.
I just talked to my sister.

409
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:42,956
She said she doesn't
want to see you again.

410
00:13:43,090 --> 00:13:44,824
Oh, my God! What?
Don't look for answers.

411
00:13:44,958 --> 00:13:46,960
While Barry's lies
stunned the JTP,

412
00:13:47,094 --> 00:13:50,263
my mom was about to face
a very angry Mrs. Bee.

413
00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:51,899
Vicki! To what
do I owe this...

414
00:13:52,032 --> 00:13:53,500
Cut the crap, Beverly.

415
00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:56,836
Did you tell Dale Woodburn
that I was single
and ready to swingle?

416
00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:59,006
(SCOFFS)
Not in those words.

417
00:13:59,139 --> 00:14:00,974
He just called and asked me
to be his date

418
00:14:01,108 --> 00:14:03,010
to his cousin's
sobriety anniversary.

419
00:14:03,143 --> 00:14:05,879
Meeting the family!
Wow, you move fast!

420
00:14:06,013 --> 00:14:07,847
I'm not going anywhere
with him!

421
00:14:07,981 --> 00:14:10,283
Only one side
of his body sweats.

422
00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:12,219
That's called
Harlequin syndrome.

423
00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:13,987
It's a real
nervous disorder.

424
00:14:14,121 --> 00:14:17,090
And I would think
you'd be more sympathetic
given your situation.

425
00:14:17,224 --> 00:14:19,026
My situation?

426
00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:20,860
Meaning I'm divorced?

427
00:14:20,994 --> 00:14:22,862
Something you're clearly
not comfortable with.

428
00:14:22,996 --> 00:14:25,465
I have no issue, zero,

429
00:14:25,598 --> 00:14:27,000
with the fact that you are
(WHISPERING) divorced.

430
00:14:27,134 --> 00:14:28,068
Then why can't you say it?

431
00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:29,302
Please! (CHUCKLES)

432
00:14:29,436 --> 00:14:31,504
Give me a soap box
and a megaphone!

433
00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:33,140
You are
(WHISPERING) divorced.

434
00:14:33,273 --> 00:14:35,075
Here's something I have
no problem saying:

435
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:36,509
you're crazy.

436
00:14:36,643 --> 00:14:38,445
Your whole family
is crazy!

437
00:14:38,578 --> 00:14:41,014
How dare you?
That is something
that you whisper!

438
00:14:41,148 --> 00:14:43,016
Why? The whole world
should know.

439
00:14:43,150 --> 00:14:45,085
Your husband
doesn't wear pants.

440
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:47,487
And?
And he threw out
all your phones.

441
00:14:47,620 --> 00:14:50,657
And?
And you dragged
your son to school

442
00:14:50,790 --> 00:14:52,892
to scare him with
the marital woes
of the faculty!

443
00:14:53,026 --> 00:14:54,461
That's a good one.
(DOOR OPENS)

444
00:14:54,594 --> 00:14:56,063
Mom?
What's going on?

445
00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:57,931
Uh, what's going on
is we're leaving.

446
00:14:58,065 --> 00:14:59,332
But... But...
Let's go!

447
00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:01,668
(SIGHS)

448
00:15:03,003 --> 00:15:06,873
What. Did. You. Do?

449
00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:09,376
Nothing! (SCOFFS)

450
00:15:09,509 --> 00:15:11,811
She called our family crazy
for some reason.

451
00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:13,580
For all the reasons!

452
00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:16,083
It's well established
you're a mentally
deranged crackpot!

453
00:15:16,216 --> 00:15:18,251
Schmoo, don't be upset.

454
00:15:18,385 --> 00:15:20,087
I'm just looking out
for your best interests.

455
00:15:20,220 --> 00:15:21,421
Best interests?

456
00:15:21,554 --> 00:15:22,922
I thought
you read my letters.

457
00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:25,192
Brea is my everything.

458
00:15:25,325 --> 00:15:26,693
No one who
really cared about me

459
00:15:26,826 --> 00:15:28,528
would try to
take that away.

460
00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:30,797
ADULT ADAM: While my mom
was divorced from reality,

461
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:33,500
Barry was ready to hang
with the newly-single JTP.

462
00:15:33,633 --> 00:15:35,102
There they are.

463
00:15:35,235 --> 00:15:37,604
I heard the news
about all four
of your lovers

464
00:15:37,737 --> 00:15:39,206
leaving you
simultaneously.

465
00:15:39,339 --> 00:15:41,441
But fear not,
I've come bearing gifts.

466
00:15:41,574 --> 00:15:43,843
Yeah, Bar, how exactly
did you hear

467
00:15:43,977 --> 00:15:45,045
about our girlfriends
dumping us?

468
00:15:45,178 --> 00:15:46,913
You know,
the campus grapevine.

469
00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:48,848
General scuttlebutt.

470
00:15:48,982 --> 00:15:51,684
While I do like to gab,
I think of myself
as a listener.

471
00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:53,620
Check it.

472
00:15:53,753 --> 00:15:55,555
Used road flares, huh?

473
00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:58,025
Dude, our ladies
didn't actually
break up with us.

474
00:15:58,158 --> 00:16:00,160
Denial. People don't want
to hear the truth,

475
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,929
but it's best to accept it
and move on.

476
00:16:03,063 --> 00:16:04,764
Cheggit:
Look Who's Talking.

477
00:16:04,897 --> 00:16:06,866
It's a baby who's talking,
that's who.

478
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,301
Nice try, dumbass.

479
00:16:08,435 --> 00:16:09,636
This is low
even for you.

480
00:16:09,769 --> 00:16:12,739
Geoff, you took this strumpet
back after what she did?

481
00:16:12,872 --> 00:16:14,741
Barry, I didn't
cheat on him!

482
00:16:14,874 --> 00:16:17,777
Oh, don't play her games!
She knows what she did!

483
00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:20,747
Barry, we know you're behind
this and we can prove it.

484
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:22,949
Sorry, Barry.
Even though this guy
wears sandals,

485
00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:24,017
he's quick
like a rabbit.

486
00:16:24,151 --> 00:16:25,318
I want my 20 dollars back.

487
00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:27,087
Long gone, muchacho.

488
00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:28,955
Like me.
Enjoy whatever this is.

489
00:16:29,722 --> 00:16:31,424
Fine! You got me.

490
00:16:31,558 --> 00:16:33,760
Another Barry prank
for the ages.

491
00:16:33,893 --> 00:16:36,396
First we laugh, now we make up
over Hawaiian pizza.

492
00:16:36,529 --> 00:16:37,630
No, thanks.

493
00:16:37,764 --> 00:16:39,466
This time you went
too far, man.

494
00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:41,868
Only because I wanted
to hang out with you guys.

495
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:44,871
And watch the romantic
ups and downs of a new mom

496
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:46,839
as seen through
the cynical eye
of a talking baby.

497
00:16:46,973 --> 00:16:48,775
Why would
we want to hang out
with someone

498
00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:50,277
who'd try to hurt us?
(SCOFFS)

499
00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:51,611
We're gonna go be
with our ladies.

500
00:16:51,744 --> 00:16:52,845
See ya around,
Big Tasty.

501
00:16:52,979 --> 00:16:53,946
Come on.

502
00:16:54,081 --> 00:16:55,048
Geoff, come on.

503
00:16:56,816 --> 00:16:57,550
Wait!

504
00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:04,591
ADULT ADAM: Barry's attempts
to free the JTP

505
00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:06,826
from the bonds
of their girlfriends
had been fruitless.

506
00:17:06,959 --> 00:17:10,363
The same could not be said
about the Wawa parking lot.

507
00:17:10,497 --> 00:17:13,300
Uch. That tastes
nothing like Sprite.

508
00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:15,902
Thought I'd find ya here.
You playin' some smash ball?

509
00:17:16,035 --> 00:17:18,271
I tried, but I have
no one to play with,

510
00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:20,073
so I'm just
eating the fruit.

511
00:17:20,207 --> 00:17:22,609
Yeah, I see you munching
on that lime there.
How's that treating you?

512
00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:23,843
Not so good.

513
00:17:23,976 --> 00:17:25,845
Neither are
the three grapefruits,

514
00:17:25,978 --> 00:17:28,681
basket of blackberries,
six mushy plums,
half a mango,

515
00:17:28,815 --> 00:17:31,484
and something called
a jackfruit.

516
00:17:31,618 --> 00:17:33,453
I'm starting to think
the seeds weren't edible.

517
00:17:33,586 --> 00:17:35,155
Oh, no! Barry, that is
way too much fruit!

518
00:17:35,288 --> 00:17:38,057
No, I deserve
the terrible gas,
bloating,

519
00:17:38,191 --> 00:17:40,560
and pins-and-needles
feeling in my feet.
I'm a terrible friend.

520
00:17:40,693 --> 00:17:42,028
I mean, it wasn't great.

521
00:17:44,564 --> 00:17:45,765
Why can't you just
be happy for them?

522
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:47,234
I am.

523
00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:49,068
I love those guys.

524
00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:52,339
It's just they've
always been there
when I needed them.

525
00:17:52,472 --> 00:17:54,341
And for the first time
they're not.

526
00:17:54,474 --> 00:17:56,909
That's not true.
Bar, haven't I always
been there for you?

527
00:17:57,043 --> 00:17:58,878
Yeah.
Look, you can still
be a good friend

528
00:17:59,011 --> 00:18:00,380
while being
in a relationship.

529
00:18:00,513 --> 00:18:02,048
What's the secret?
No secret.

530
00:18:02,182 --> 00:18:03,416
You just got to
work hard at both.

531
00:18:03,550 --> 00:18:05,185
And always make sure
no one forgets

532
00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:06,319
how much they mean to you.

533
00:18:06,453 --> 00:18:07,720
Are you saying
I should go to them?

534
00:18:07,854 --> 00:18:09,356
They're on
a group date right now
at the mini golf course.

535
00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:10,490
So maybe it can wait till...

536
00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:11,891
I will go to them!
Thank you, Geoff.

537
00:18:12,024 --> 00:18:14,394
ADULT ADAM: And so
Barry ran to his friends.

538
00:18:14,527 --> 00:18:17,430
But my mom couldn't run
from how I really felt
about my girlfriend.

539
00:18:17,564 --> 00:18:18,531
Whatcha doing?

540
00:18:18,665 --> 00:18:20,867
Torturing myself.

541
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:23,770
Adam writes that
he will never love anyone
as much as he loves Brea.

542
00:18:25,305 --> 00:18:26,439
You think he means it?

543
00:18:28,074 --> 00:18:30,076
Yeah, right now
he does, sure.

544
00:18:30,210 --> 00:18:31,978
Well, if he and Brea are in it
for the long haul,

545
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:34,481
we've got
some awkward holidays ahead.

546
00:18:34,614 --> 00:18:36,583
I offended Vicki Bee.

547
00:18:36,716 --> 00:18:38,718
Well, just call her
and apologize.

548
00:18:38,851 --> 00:18:40,620
How? We have no phone.

549
00:18:43,656 --> 00:18:45,091
I missed having
something to slam.

550
00:18:45,225 --> 00:18:46,426
Thanks.

551
00:18:46,559 --> 00:18:47,694
(HEAD OVER HEELS
BY THE GO-GO'S PLAYS)

552
00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:50,263
But this is probably something
I should do in person.

553
00:18:50,397 --> 00:18:52,365
ADULT ADAM: Sometimes
we get so caught up
in what's best

554
00:18:52,499 --> 00:18:54,701
for the people we love,
we do crazy things.

555
00:18:54,834 --> 00:18:56,369
Listen!

556
00:18:56,503 --> 00:18:59,306
I need to say something,
but not to you guys.

557
00:18:59,439 --> 00:19:01,073
To them,
the girlfriends.

558
00:19:01,208 --> 00:19:02,442
Yeah, Bar...

559
00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:03,876
You three
may not know it,

560
00:19:04,010 --> 00:19:05,745
but you are
the luckiest ladies
on the planet.

561
00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:08,981
All right? Let me
give you some advice.

562
00:19:09,115 --> 00:19:11,784
Cherish these men
and all that
make them unique.

563
00:19:11,918 --> 00:19:14,321
Like how irate Andy gets
when you use
his tiny back scrubber.

564
00:19:14,454 --> 00:19:15,788
Do you mean
my toothbrush?

565
00:19:15,922 --> 00:19:17,357
Accept them as they are.

566
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:18,325
Because if you don't...

567
00:19:19,626 --> 00:19:21,594
You'll lose them.

568
00:19:21,728 --> 00:19:23,630
And that's
a terrible feeling.

569
00:19:23,763 --> 00:19:26,299
Um, Barry,
these girls aren't
their girlfriends.

570
00:19:26,433 --> 00:19:27,600
What do you mean?

571
00:19:30,036 --> 00:19:31,204
Okay.

572
00:19:31,338 --> 00:19:33,005
Who remembers
what I just said?

573
00:19:33,139 --> 00:19:33,873
NAKED ROB: We all do.

574
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:35,642
(LAUGHS)

575
00:19:37,744 --> 00:19:38,611
JTP.

576
00:19:39,312 --> 00:19:40,980
TOGETHER: JTP!

577
00:19:41,113 --> 00:19:43,015
ADULT ADAM: Yeah,
there's lots of different ways
to say you're sorry.

578
00:19:43,149 --> 00:19:44,684
But when it comes
from the heart,
that's all that matters.

579
00:19:44,817 --> 00:19:45,818
Looking for Adam?

580
00:19:45,952 --> 00:19:47,987
You, actually.

581
00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:49,889
I want to apologize
for everything.

582
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:52,058
I have no right
to judge you.

583
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:52,959
I'm sorry.

584
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,194
Thanks.

585
00:19:55,328 --> 00:19:59,098
Look, I have a lot of big,
sometimes-stupid ideas

586
00:19:59,232 --> 00:20:01,634
about what
a traditional family
is supposed to be.

587
00:20:01,768 --> 00:20:05,505
But you're a great mom.

588
00:20:05,638 --> 00:20:08,741
You couldn't raise
a girl as amazing
as Brea if you weren't.

589
00:20:08,875 --> 00:20:11,177
Well, Adam's
not too bad himself.

590
00:20:11,311 --> 00:20:13,813
My body made his body.

591
00:20:13,946 --> 00:20:16,048
That's something someone says
to another person.

592
00:20:16,182 --> 00:20:18,818
It's just,
if our kids are gonna be
in each other's lives,

593
00:20:18,951 --> 00:20:21,421
it would be nice
if we could
make it work, too.

594
00:20:21,554 --> 00:20:23,690
For our kids,
we'd both do anything.

595
00:20:25,525 --> 00:20:26,926
Come on in.

596
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:29,496
ADULT ADAM: That's the thing.
No family is perfect.

597
00:20:29,629 --> 00:20:31,731
But it's our differences
that make us unique.

598
00:20:31,864 --> 00:20:32,932
This makes me nervous.

599
00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:34,867
I'm terrified.

600
00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:37,236
And when you combine
those differences
with a whole lot of love,

601
00:20:37,370 --> 00:20:38,938
it goes a long way.

602
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,340
(CHEERING)

603
00:20:40,473 --> 00:20:41,974
In the end,
that's what strengthens

604
00:20:42,108 --> 00:20:44,043
all the relationships
in our lives,

605
00:20:44,176 --> 00:20:45,745
no matter what,

606
00:20:45,878 --> 00:20:48,515
'cause when you got
people who love and care
and celebrate you,

607
00:20:48,648 --> 00:20:49,682
it's a hole-in-one.

608
00:20:55,988 --> 00:20:57,590
So, I'm here
with the real Brea,

609
00:20:57,724 --> 00:20:59,258
who you saw playing
her own mother.

610
00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:01,060
Is it just weird
to play your own mother?

611
00:21:01,193 --> 00:21:02,228
It's super weird.

612
00:21:02,362 --> 00:21:04,196
You and Adam really did date
in high school.

613
00:21:04,331 --> 00:21:06,299
Did you guys actually
write those letters?

614
00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:07,700
It is true.

615
00:21:07,834 --> 00:21:08,968
We did date
during high school

616
00:21:09,101 --> 00:21:11,671
and we wrote a lot of letters
to each other.

617
00:21:11,804 --> 00:21:14,674
Now, I happen to have
an actual letter right here.

618
00:21:14,807 --> 00:21:16,876
Oh, no.
"I feel like your soul

619
00:21:17,009 --> 00:21:18,878
"and my soul
have become one.

620
00:21:19,011 --> 00:21:21,280
"When I'm not with you,
I feel like I'm dying.

621
00:21:21,414 --> 00:21:23,316
"It's almost like
I need you to live."

622
00:21:24,917 --> 00:21:26,118
I mean,
that's normal, right?

623
00:21:26,252 --> 00:21:27,420
(LAUGHTER)