1
00:00:00,078 --> 00:00:02,851
The '80s was the
golden age of the house party.
2
00:00:02,945 --> 00:00:05,031
If the music was cranked
and the place was wrecked,
3
00:00:05,101 --> 00:00:06,424
your bash was a hit.
4
00:00:06,500 --> 00:00:08,757
And it turned out I had
a hot tip about the latest one.
5
00:00:08,850 --> 00:00:10,623
Yo, J.C., it's me, Adam.
6
00:00:10,702 --> 00:00:12,669
- Corey's brother!
- Not even a little bit.
7
00:00:12,704 --> 00:00:14,971
Anyway, I thought
you'd want to know about a rager
8
00:00:15,073 --> 00:00:16,539
at Dave Kim's this Saturday.
9
00:00:16,641 --> 00:00:17,830
Let all your bros know.
10
00:00:17,855 --> 00:00:18,851
Will do.
11
00:00:18,876 --> 00:00:20,642
Tell Corey he's a dirty dog.
12
00:00:20,711 --> 00:00:23,645
I'd fed the grapevine a grape.
Only thing left to do was wait.
13
00:00:23,714 --> 00:00:25,447
Party at Dave Kim's this Saturday.
14
00:00:25,549 --> 00:00:27,883
If there's no hot tub, we'll make one.
15
00:00:27,952 --> 00:00:29,651
Party at Dave Kim's this Saturday.
16
00:00:29,753 --> 00:00:30,953
There's gonna be 50 kegs,
17
00:00:31,055 --> 00:00:33,689
and Spuds MacKenzie is deejaying.
18
00:00:33,791 --> 00:00:35,524
Party at Dave Kim's this Saturday.
19
00:00:35,593 --> 00:00:37,226
I'll know if you don't show.
20
00:00:37,294 --> 00:00:39,394
Hubba Bubba Soda? Do better.
21
00:00:39,496 --> 00:00:40,896
Word about the party spread fast,
22
00:00:40,965 --> 00:00:42,431
until everyone knew about it.
23
00:00:42,466 --> 00:00:43,866
Party at Dave Kim's this Saturday.
24
00:00:43,968 --> 00:00:45,300
Well, almost everyone.
25
00:00:45,402 --> 00:00:46,501
What the hell?!
26
00:00:46,570 --> 00:00:48,270
Who's telling everybody
I'm throwing a party?
27
00:00:48,339 --> 00:00:50,105
They're the worst. And it's me.
28
00:00:50,174 --> 00:00:51,373
You?! Why?!
29
00:00:51,475 --> 00:00:52,808
Come on, Dave Kim!
30
00:00:52,877 --> 00:00:54,443
No one loves a kegger more than you.
31
00:00:54,545 --> 00:00:55,577
And it's a keg party?
32
00:00:55,646 --> 00:00:57,479
Yep, all kinds of savory brewskis...
33
00:00:57,581 --> 00:01:00,048
ales, lights, fruity ciders,
light beers.
34
00:01:00,150 --> 00:01:01,350
No, wait. Those are the lights.
35
00:01:01,418 --> 00:01:02,584
You don't know anything about beer!
36
00:01:02,653 --> 00:01:04,119
I do know your parents are out of town,
37
00:01:04,188 --> 00:01:07,055
and kegs attract popular kids,
and that's what I'm looking for.
38
00:01:07,124 --> 00:01:08,156
Is this about Brea Bee?
39
00:01:08,259 --> 00:01:09,725
Yes, it's about Brea Bee.
40
00:01:09,793 --> 00:01:11,426
I know we had a moment
while ice-skating,
41
00:01:11,495 --> 00:01:12,828
but I've barely seen her since.
42
00:01:12,897 --> 00:01:14,363
Now she's back to her ivory tower
43
00:01:14,465 --> 00:01:16,064
with the cool kids across the room.
44
00:01:16,133 --> 00:01:19,301
So you think that a party that
will inevitably destroy my home
45
00:01:19,370 --> 00:01:21,837
is just the opportunity you need
to reconnect?
46
00:01:21,872 --> 00:01:23,538
Will you help your best friend
find love?
47
00:01:23,641 --> 00:01:24,539
Hell no.
48
00:01:24,608 --> 00:01:25,941
I hear we're throwing a party.
49
00:01:25,976 --> 00:01:27,376
Oh, no! Carla's got wind of it!
50
00:01:27,478 --> 00:01:28,644
Bitch, I am the wind.
51
00:01:28,712 --> 00:01:31,647
And I've already got a theme...
mayhem and deep regret.
52
00:01:31,715 --> 00:01:34,716
Oh, no! That's a winner!
Who wouldn't come to that?
53
00:01:34,785 --> 00:01:36,451
I would, and hopefully so will Brea.
54
00:01:36,553 --> 00:01:37,819
Someone's a nasty boy.
55
00:01:37,888 --> 00:01:39,821
Ugh. It's lunchtime.
56
00:01:39,890 --> 00:01:42,524
I'm supposed to open
the wing store today!
57
00:01:42,593 --> 00:01:43,992
Why are you doing this to me?!
58
00:01:44,094 --> 00:01:45,494
Brea Bee is just a girl!
59
00:01:45,529 --> 00:01:47,162
Just a girl, Dave Kim?
60
00:01:47,231 --> 00:01:49,767
She's gorgeous, cool, and likes theater.
61
00:01:50,901 --> 00:01:52,768
Well, looks like your perfect dream girl
62
00:01:52,836 --> 00:01:54,403
just dropped her Trapper Keeper.
63
00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:57,906
Allow me, madam.
64
00:01:57,975 --> 00:01:59,308
Oh. Thanks, Adam.
65
00:01:59,410 --> 00:02:01,510
Ohh! Thank you.
66
00:02:01,578 --> 00:02:03,578
...in advance for my next question.
67
00:02:03,647 --> 00:02:06,114
Which is, if you had to pick one word
68
00:02:06,216 --> 00:02:08,183
to describe how you party,
69
00:02:08,285 --> 00:02:09,718
would it be "hardy"?
70
00:02:10,654 --> 00:02:12,754
Like Dave Kim's party... this Saturday.
71
00:02:12,823 --> 00:02:13,922
Oh! T-That might be fun.
72
00:02:13,991 --> 00:02:16,525
It's guaranteed to be a blast.
I'm planning it myself.
73
00:02:16,593 --> 00:02:17,893
I want to plan.
74
00:02:17,962 --> 00:02:19,928
The best part of partying is
the who, what, when, and where.
75
00:02:19,997 --> 00:02:21,129
Mm. With a little foresight,
76
00:02:21,231 --> 00:02:23,065
planning a party can be
as fun as attending.
77
00:02:23,100 --> 00:02:25,033
I'm pretty sure
me and Brea got it covered.
78
00:02:25,102 --> 00:02:26,535
Say, my place around 4:00?
79
00:02:26,603 --> 00:02:27,669
It's a date.
80
00:02:27,738 --> 00:02:29,738
Yeah, sorry. I actually
can't do it today.
81
00:02:29,807 --> 00:02:31,006
But I'll try to make the party.
82
00:02:31,108 --> 00:02:33,008
I know a solid maybe when I hear one.
83
00:02:33,077 --> 00:02:34,643
Whoa. Think she likes you.
84
00:02:34,745 --> 00:02:35,644
- Really?
- No.
85
00:02:35,746 --> 00:02:37,312
But now this won't feel so lousy.
86
00:02:37,414 --> 00:02:40,015
Oh, no! Wait! This is why you
don't put yourself out there!
87
00:02:40,084 --> 00:02:41,883
Oh, balls!
88
00:02:41,986 --> 00:02:43,552
♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪
89
00:02:43,654 --> 00:02:47,065
♪ But nonetheless,
I feel the need to say ♪
90
00:02:47,175 --> 00:02:49,424
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
91
00:02:49,526 --> 00:02:50,870
♪ I don't know the future ♪
92
00:02:50,956 --> 00:02:54,763
♪ But the past keeps getting
clearer every day ♪
93
00:02:54,865 --> 00:02:57,232
It was February 19, 1980-something,
94
00:02:57,334 --> 00:02:59,301
and my mom had no idea...
95
00:02:59,403 --> 00:03:01,369
...today would be one of
the best days of her life.
96
00:03:01,509 --> 00:03:03,879
- Mr. Whitby?
- Indeed, it is I,
97
00:03:03,941 --> 00:03:07,042
your cookbook publisher
and well-regarded dog breeder.
98
00:03:07,144 --> 00:03:08,343
Come on in!
99
00:03:08,445 --> 00:03:09,711
Oh!
100
00:03:09,813 --> 00:03:13,682
What an incredibly authentic residence.
101
00:03:13,784 --> 00:03:16,685
Often, when I stare out at
Central Park from my penthouse,
102
00:03:16,787 --> 00:03:19,488
I imagine this is how other people live.
103
00:03:19,556 --> 00:03:21,857
So, you drove all the way from
the city to belittle our home?
104
00:03:21,959 --> 00:03:23,258
Surprise!
105
00:03:23,327 --> 00:03:25,160
I brought your cookbook
hot off the presses!
106
00:03:25,262 --> 00:03:27,396
It's not really hot.
That's just an expression.
107
00:03:27,498 --> 00:03:29,131
But it is warm from me sitting on it
108
00:03:29,233 --> 00:03:30,832
so I look more imposing in the car.
109
00:03:30,934 --> 00:03:33,101
Oh, my God! That's me! This is me!
110
00:03:33,203 --> 00:03:34,970
I guess we went with
the one with your face.
111
00:03:35,039 --> 00:03:36,605
Mom, you're on the cover
of your own book?
112
00:03:36,707 --> 00:03:38,673
- That's so cool!
- It really is!
113
00:03:38,742 --> 00:03:39,808
Am I in it?
114
00:03:39,910 --> 00:03:41,910
"Mrs. Goldberg resides
in the Philadelphia area
115
00:03:42,012 --> 00:03:43,612
with her husband and three children."
116
00:03:43,714 --> 00:03:45,580
This book is about me. Can I have this?
117
00:03:45,682 --> 00:03:47,582
- For only $14.95.
- Oh.
118
00:03:47,684 --> 00:03:50,318
That's what we'll be
selling it for at your signing.
119
00:03:50,421 --> 00:03:51,787
A book signing? Me?
120
00:03:51,889 --> 00:03:54,322
We find it goes a long way
when launching a new author.
121
00:03:54,425 --> 00:03:56,725
Also, your friends feel
too guilty not to buy one.
122
00:03:56,827 --> 00:03:58,393
I'll make them buy 50 each!
123
00:03:58,495 --> 00:04:01,229
Much of the publishing game
is about emotional blackmail.
124
00:04:01,331 --> 00:04:04,633
There's also a tremendous amount
of sexual intrigue.
125
00:04:04,735 --> 00:04:05,967
Maya Angelou.
126
00:04:06,070 --> 00:04:07,302
This guy's the real deal.
127
00:04:07,404 --> 00:04:08,870
Oh, this deal is real, all right...
128
00:04:08,972 --> 00:04:11,106
as real as my teenage daughter's
restraining order.
129
00:04:11,208 --> 00:04:12,674
City kids.
130
00:04:12,776 --> 00:04:14,342
You two are lucky you're so simple.
131
00:04:14,411 --> 00:04:15,310
I hate this guy.
132
00:04:15,412 --> 00:04:16,778
Uhp! You sound just like my daughter.
133
00:04:17,981 --> 00:04:19,481
Anyhoo, you'll be signing
134
00:04:19,583 --> 00:04:22,317
at the provincial book store
in this sad little town.
135
00:04:22,419 --> 00:04:24,986
I believe it's called
St. Ann's Book Dump.
136
00:04:25,089 --> 00:04:26,621
I think you mean B. Dalton.
137
00:04:26,690 --> 00:04:27,722
That makes more sense.
138
00:04:27,825 --> 00:04:30,158
Question... as an important relative
139
00:04:30,227 --> 00:04:32,727
featured prominently
on the back side flap,
140
00:04:32,830 --> 00:04:34,763
what kind of royalties can I expect?
141
00:04:34,865 --> 00:04:36,498
Well, I'm just gonna start talking
142
00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:38,500
and hope my sentence
carries me to the door.
143
00:04:38,569 --> 00:04:40,836
And I'm gonna start another
sentence, and there we go!
144
00:04:40,938 --> 00:04:43,171
While my mom prepared
for her big night out,
145
00:04:43,273 --> 00:04:45,841
I had to prepare my room
for the cool kids.
146
00:04:45,943 --> 00:04:47,909
Would a beautiful girl
like these parachute pants?
147
00:04:48,011 --> 00:04:50,178
I see why they threw them
out of a plane.
148
00:04:50,280 --> 00:04:51,546
Tomorrow needs to be perfect.
149
00:04:51,648 --> 00:04:54,583
And it will be. You're throwing
a party to land a girl.
150
00:04:54,685 --> 00:04:56,818
I've thrown millions of shindigs,
151
00:04:56,920 --> 00:04:58,787
and they all went gonzo.
152
00:04:58,889 --> 00:05:00,822
Gonzo's my favorite Muppet, so I'm in.
153
00:05:00,924 --> 00:05:02,791
First thought... don't mention Muppets.
154
00:05:02,893 --> 00:05:06,361
Second thought... throw
this party the night a war ends.
155
00:05:06,430 --> 00:05:07,896
We're kind of locked for this Saturday.
156
00:05:07,998 --> 00:05:10,098
After I got back from the Pacific,
157
00:05:10,200 --> 00:05:11,967
I kissed a thousand nurses.
158
00:05:12,069 --> 00:05:13,068
That seems like too many.
159
00:05:14,171 --> 00:05:15,937
Crap. The guys are here!
160
00:05:16,039 --> 00:05:18,206
Thank you for your fun ideas.
We'll let you know.
161
00:05:18,308 --> 00:05:19,574
Are you sending me away?
162
00:05:19,676 --> 00:05:21,510
I just need you to step
into a different room
163
00:05:21,578 --> 00:05:22,744
for, say, an hour.
164
00:05:22,846 --> 00:05:25,347
I could pop down for
some of your mom's monkey bread.
165
00:05:25,415 --> 00:05:27,516
I don't need the details. Bye.
166
00:05:29,052 --> 00:05:30,018
There they are.
167
00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:32,587
Well, welcome to party plan central.
168
00:05:32,689 --> 00:05:34,523
Is it too late to discuss
alternate venues?
169
00:05:34,625 --> 00:05:36,791
Yep. Let's plan this beast,
170
00:05:36,860 --> 00:05:40,061
keeping in mind we need this
party to be cool and inviting
171
00:05:40,164 --> 00:05:43,365
to redheaded 17-year-old girls
who I know play volleyball.
172
00:05:43,467 --> 00:05:44,399
I'll start.
173
00:05:44,501 --> 00:05:45,634
A volleyball.
174
00:05:45,736 --> 00:05:49,104
Here's something fun... BYOB,
"bring your own broom."
175
00:05:49,206 --> 00:05:50,906
My turn. 50 kegs.
176
00:05:51,008 --> 00:05:52,641
Giant speakers that will
blow out car windows.
177
00:05:52,666 --> 00:05:53,608
A party donkey.
178
00:05:53,677 --> 00:05:54,910
A no-rules foam room
179
00:05:54,978 --> 00:05:56,845
and a giant fish tank
full of hammerheads.
180
00:05:56,914 --> 00:05:58,880
Disposable shoe covers,
like at an open house.
181
00:05:58,982 --> 00:06:01,449
Ooh! How about a roped-off private area
182
00:06:01,518 --> 00:06:03,618
where two people can talk
and get to know each other?
183
00:06:03,687 --> 00:06:04,920
Yes! A rope! Put that down.
184
00:06:05,022 --> 00:06:06,588
We're humming now! Anyone else?
185
00:06:06,690 --> 00:06:08,056
How 'bout an oyster bar?
186
00:06:08,125 --> 00:06:09,090
What are you doing here?
187
00:06:09,159 --> 00:06:10,258
Making suggestions
188
00:06:10,327 --> 00:06:12,594
to get some enchantment
back in this party.
189
00:06:12,629 --> 00:06:13,628
What's with the old guy?
190
00:06:13,697 --> 00:06:15,297
And why is he suggesting sea vomit?
191
00:06:15,365 --> 00:06:18,099
Question... what's
the sexiest instrument?
192
00:06:18,202 --> 00:06:19,868
Answer? The oboe!
193
00:06:19,970 --> 00:06:21,403
Pops, I don't need your help.
194
00:06:21,471 --> 00:06:22,971
But if you want romance,
195
00:06:23,040 --> 00:06:25,540
your pals are steering you
toward disaster.
196
00:06:25,642 --> 00:06:26,608
I know what I'm doing!
197
00:06:26,710 --> 00:06:28,810
Doesn't mean you don't need my advice.
198
00:06:28,879 --> 00:06:30,912
- Pops!
- Here's some more gold.
199
00:06:30,981 --> 00:06:34,115
Turn up the temperature
and watch the girls glisten.
200
00:06:34,184 --> 00:06:36,885
I need this party to be cool,
not sweaty.
201
00:06:36,954 --> 00:06:39,187
And oboes and clams aren't cool.
202
00:06:39,289 --> 00:06:40,288
Oysters!
203
00:06:40,324 --> 00:06:42,123
Why would you have clams at a party?
204
00:06:42,226 --> 00:06:44,526
Enough! I don't need your help.
205
00:06:44,595 --> 00:06:47,829
I'll let my oboe guy know
you won't be in touch.
206
00:06:47,931 --> 00:06:49,364
As I left Pops feeling empty,
207
00:06:49,466 --> 00:06:52,200
my mom's cookbook signing
was a full house!
208
00:06:52,269 --> 00:06:54,269
Mr. Whitby, can you
believe this turnout?
209
00:06:54,338 --> 00:06:56,571
Oh! I hope my pen
doesn't run out of ink.
210
00:06:56,640 --> 00:06:58,273
Well, just don't ask to borrow mine.
211
00:06:58,342 --> 00:07:01,042
It hasn't worked since I used it
to perform a tracheotomy
212
00:07:01,111 --> 00:07:04,012
on a man who, long story short,
didn't need one.
213
00:07:04,047 --> 00:07:06,047
Anyway, good luck with the reading.
214
00:07:06,116 --> 00:07:07,749
Reading? I thought
this was just a signing.
215
00:07:07,784 --> 00:07:09,384
Oh, no. You'll be reading.
216
00:07:09,453 --> 00:07:11,920
Well, I suppose
if my adoring fans demand it...
217
00:07:11,955 --> 00:07:14,155
Whether they did or they just
happened to be in the store,
218
00:07:14,224 --> 00:07:16,458
they got to witness maybe the first-ever
219
00:07:16,526 --> 00:07:17,891
dramatic reading of a cookbook.
220
00:07:17,992 --> 00:07:19,561
"1/2 cup cream.
221
00:07:19,630 --> 00:07:22,219
Two sticks of butter, cubed.
222
00:07:22,305 --> 00:07:25,600
Toss into margarine until combined"!
223
00:07:25,669 --> 00:07:28,303
And once my mom got going,
she didn't want to stop...
224
00:07:28,372 --> 00:07:31,539
"Whisk gently with water
until the clumps...
225
00:07:31,608 --> 00:07:33,141
have dissipated."
226
00:07:33,243 --> 00:07:34,976
...or stay totally on topic.
227
00:07:35,012 --> 00:07:37,112
You know, I like to think I do for Parm
228
00:07:37,180 --> 00:07:39,648
what Madam Curie did for, uh...
229
00:07:39,750 --> 00:07:41,049
well, whatever it is she did.
230
00:07:41,151 --> 00:07:42,484
Should we be worried Mom won't handle
231
00:07:42,586 --> 00:07:44,119
all this attention in a positive way?
232
00:07:44,221 --> 00:07:45,553
Nah. She'll be fine.
233
00:07:45,656 --> 00:07:48,056
I have a husband and three children,
234
00:07:48,125 --> 00:07:51,860
and yet, today, my life began!
235
00:07:51,962 --> 00:07:53,762
While my mom embraced cookbook fame,
236
00:07:53,830 --> 00:07:56,538
I was bracing for
the party of a lifetime.
237
00:07:56,624 --> 00:07:57,732
Thanks for picking me up, Johnny.
238
00:07:57,801 --> 00:08:00,168
Eh, it's the least I could do
after you bought all those kegs.
239
00:08:00,270 --> 00:08:01,670
Kegs? What are you talking about?
240
00:08:01,738 --> 00:08:03,605
You know, that money you left
for me in that envelope
241
00:08:03,674 --> 00:08:04,939
in that drawer in your room.
242
00:08:04,964 --> 00:08:06,018
What?!
243
00:08:06,043 --> 00:08:07,876
My Garbage Pail Kids emergency fund?!
244
00:08:07,978 --> 00:08:10,278
Honestly, who's worse... me or you?
245
00:08:10,328 --> 00:08:11,379
Fine!
246
00:08:11,481 --> 00:08:13,081
It'll all be worth it when I wow Brea
247
00:08:13,183 --> 00:08:15,150
with these sweet Z. Cavaricci pants.
248
00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:16,237
I'm not so sure.
249
00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:17,886
Is she into little nervous pirates?
250
00:08:17,988 --> 00:08:19,087
Doesn't matter,
251
00:08:19,189 --> 00:08:20,989
as long as Brea shows
and we share a moment.
252
00:08:21,091 --> 00:08:23,692
So, your plan is
to wear lady pants to a party
253
00:08:23,794 --> 00:08:25,393
in the hopes of spending a quiet moment
254
00:08:25,495 --> 00:08:26,995
with a girl way out of your league?
255
00:08:27,097 --> 00:08:28,797
Admittedly, the plan has wrinkles.
256
00:08:28,899 --> 00:08:30,031
And here's some more wrinkles...
257
00:08:30,100 --> 00:08:31,700
on that old dude from your bedroom.
258
00:08:32,803 --> 00:08:33,868
Pops?
259
00:08:33,970 --> 00:08:35,236
Hey, kiddo.
260
00:08:35,339 --> 00:08:38,807
I heard what you said
the other day loud and clear.
261
00:08:38,909 --> 00:08:40,775
Then why are you here
with that rolling battleship?
262
00:08:40,877 --> 00:08:43,244
I thought you'd want
to take it to your party.
263
00:08:43,347 --> 00:08:45,013
When you roll up with this baby,
264
00:08:45,115 --> 00:08:47,449
you'll be fighting trixies off
with a stick.
265
00:08:47,551 --> 00:08:49,217
You certainly know
what a modern boy wants,
266
00:08:49,319 --> 00:08:50,919
but you're not even
supposed to be driving.
267
00:08:51,021 --> 00:08:52,821
Enjoy the Caddy.
268
00:08:52,923 --> 00:08:54,089
I don't want the Caddy.
269
00:08:54,191 --> 00:08:55,924
You got to take the Caddy.
270
00:08:56,026 --> 00:08:58,827
Stop saying "Caddy," and stop
throwing Caddy keys at me.
271
00:08:58,929 --> 00:09:01,262
I know we had a rough patch
the other day,
272
00:09:01,365 --> 00:09:03,898
but let me do this for my best bud.
273
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,134
I don't want this.
I don't want your help.
274
00:09:06,236 --> 00:09:07,335
I just want to be left alone.
275
00:09:07,437 --> 00:09:09,738
Okay, then. I get it.
276
00:09:09,840 --> 00:09:11,673
You don't want me.
277
00:09:13,076 --> 00:09:15,076
Oof. That was rough.
278
00:09:15,178 --> 00:09:16,745
Hope you have the same presence of mind
279
00:09:16,847 --> 00:09:18,654
when Paula Abdul demands her pants back.
280
00:09:19,469 --> 00:09:22,669
Dave Kim's party was in
full swing and off the chain.
281
00:09:22,748 --> 00:09:25,161
The place was packed,
the music was bumpin',
282
00:09:25,248 --> 00:09:26,419
the shots jello'd,
283
00:09:26,505 --> 00:09:27,795
and that guy was shirtless.
284
00:09:27,881 --> 00:09:29,116
This night was gonna be epic!
285
00:09:29,185 --> 00:09:32,353
Nice. Dave Kim is quite the host.
286
00:09:32,421 --> 00:09:34,928
I'm gonna take a shower in the
master and get my night started.
287
00:09:34,983 --> 00:09:37,698
The only thing missing was
a certain special lady.
288
00:09:37,793 --> 00:09:39,260
This is officially a cool party!
289
00:09:39,362 --> 00:09:40,881
Why isn't Brea here, Dave Kim?
290
00:09:41,006 --> 00:09:42,930
Dude, I've got
my own problems right now.
291
00:09:42,965 --> 00:09:45,733
Carla is playing a drinking game
with my baby pictures!
292
00:09:45,790 --> 00:09:48,469
Look at you holding the football
like you know how it works.
293
00:09:48,571 --> 00:09:49,670
That's not all.
294
00:09:49,739 --> 00:09:51,772
Those guys are wearing
Villanova sweatshirts,
295
00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:53,207
and based on their facial hair
296
00:09:53,242 --> 00:09:55,509
and nonstop references
to beating Georgetown,
297
00:09:55,578 --> 00:09:57,211
I think they actually go there.
298
00:09:57,280 --> 00:09:58,912
I hope your parents have
earthquake insurance,
299
00:09:58,981 --> 00:10:01,949
'cause this party's gonna be rockin'!
300
00:10:02,018 --> 00:10:03,494
They have fire and flood,
301
00:10:03,552 --> 00:10:05,953
but their deductible is super-high!
302
00:10:06,021 --> 00:10:07,821
As the person who started this party,
303
00:10:07,890 --> 00:10:09,590
you need to do something.
304
00:10:09,625 --> 00:10:11,191
Or we wait until Brea shows.
305
00:10:11,260 --> 00:10:14,027
Yo. Someone popped
your parents' water bed.
306
00:10:14,096 --> 00:10:16,497
Seems... time-sensitive.
307
00:10:16,565 --> 00:10:18,432
That's as good a sign as any.
308
00:10:18,534 --> 00:10:20,134
Attention, friends.
309
00:10:20,202 --> 00:10:22,002
This party is...
310
00:10:22,037 --> 00:10:23,306
But in that moment,
311
00:10:23,330 --> 00:10:25,025
Brea Bee was in the house...
312
00:10:25,056 --> 00:10:27,107
...and all reasonable thinking
went out the window.
313
00:10:27,176 --> 00:10:29,076
...the best party evah!
314
00:10:32,648 --> 00:10:33,947
Brea! Hey.
315
00:10:33,983 --> 00:10:36,250
Wow. There's... so much going on.
316
00:10:36,318 --> 00:10:37,518
How did you even get in those?
317
00:10:37,586 --> 00:10:39,086
One leg at a time, baby.
318
00:10:39,188 --> 00:10:41,488
Then my mom has to latch
all my buckles in back.
319
00:10:41,590 --> 00:10:43,223
- What's your poison?
- I'd take some water.
320
00:10:43,325 --> 00:10:45,159
Hydration. Nice.
321
00:10:45,194 --> 00:10:46,627
Your body thanks you.
322
00:10:46,695 --> 00:10:48,362
Well, I-I didn't mean
to talk about your body.
323
00:10:48,431 --> 00:10:50,364
I mean, you look lovely.
324
00:10:50,433 --> 00:10:51,598
Probably 'cause of all that water.
325
00:10:51,700 --> 00:10:53,467
Circled back. Saved it.
326
00:10:53,536 --> 00:10:54,902
Okay.
327
00:10:56,472 --> 00:10:57,638
What am I doing?!
328
00:10:57,706 --> 00:10:58,859
I'm blowing it!
329
00:10:58,884 --> 00:10:59,950
I'm sorry!
330
00:10:59,975 --> 00:11:02,276
Is your romantic plan
to destroy my house
331
00:11:02,344 --> 00:11:03,644
not coming to fruition?
332
00:11:03,712 --> 00:11:07,681
Maybe you can let me free
and we can talk more about it!
333
00:11:07,750 --> 00:11:09,716
While Dave Kim's party
was getting out of hand,
334
00:11:09,785 --> 00:11:12,152
so was my mom's grasp on reality.
335
00:11:12,221 --> 00:11:15,189
Do I smell Mom's
homemade chili cheese lasagna?
336
00:11:15,291 --> 00:11:16,557
Yes, you do, Schmoo.
337
00:11:16,592 --> 00:11:18,592
My biggest fear used to be
that I'd turn into my mom.
338
00:11:18,661 --> 00:11:19,993
Well, I've been using your mom's recipes
339
00:11:20,062 --> 00:11:21,295
and having the time of my life.
340
00:11:21,363 --> 00:11:23,330
We are two very different men.
341
00:11:23,399 --> 00:11:25,199
Hello, BevHeads.
342
00:11:25,267 --> 00:11:26,800
That's the new moniker I've given
343
00:11:26,869 --> 00:11:28,769
my legions of adoring fans.
344
00:11:28,804 --> 00:11:30,504
- What fans?
- And why are you dressed like
345
00:11:30,573 --> 00:11:32,005
Melanie Griffith in "Working Girl"?
346
00:11:32,107 --> 00:11:34,641
Those two questions
have the same answer...
347
00:11:34,710 --> 00:11:36,410
stardom.
348
00:11:36,479 --> 00:11:38,045
Mornin', Jenkintown!
349
00:11:38,113 --> 00:11:40,113
- That's Matt.
- And that's Lizzie.
350
00:11:40,149 --> 00:11:42,716
And we're here with cookbook author
351
00:11:42,751 --> 00:11:46,386
and local celebrity Beverly Goldberg!
352
00:11:46,489 --> 00:11:47,955
Oh, look! You're on TV!
353
00:11:48,023 --> 00:11:49,623
We can finally control your volume.
354
00:11:49,692 --> 00:11:52,292
And she's with Lizzie, the human
cup of coffee that starts my day.
355
00:11:52,361 --> 00:11:54,995
So, what's next for Beverly Goldberg?
356
00:11:55,064 --> 00:11:57,197
I am just gonna ride
the wild success of my book
357
00:11:57,299 --> 00:11:59,833
into, eh, housewares, beef, bikes,
358
00:11:59,902 --> 00:12:02,669
tax assistants, music,
children's clothing,
359
00:12:02,738 --> 00:12:04,505
tiny, little scissors, bric-a-brac,
360
00:12:04,573 --> 00:12:06,273
Dutch ovens, TV shows.
361
00:12:06,342 --> 00:12:07,641
I guess we'd better watch our backs.
362
00:12:08,711 --> 00:12:09,676
Matt, look at me.
363
00:12:09,778 --> 00:12:11,311
Look at all of this. It will be gone.
364
00:12:11,380 --> 00:12:12,980
Even Lizzie's gonna leave you.
365
00:12:13,082 --> 00:12:14,147
Oh, we're not together.
366
00:12:14,250 --> 00:12:15,349
Shut up, Lizzie.
367
00:12:15,451 --> 00:12:17,017
We've all seen how you touch his arm.
368
00:12:19,121 --> 00:12:20,053
Why would they air this?
369
00:12:20,155 --> 00:12:22,289
Again... stardom!
370
00:12:22,358 --> 00:12:23,991
And things only got worse from there.
371
00:12:24,093 --> 00:12:26,093
Lady, you can't park there.
372
00:12:26,195 --> 00:12:27,261
Whoa. Whoa, whoa.
373
00:12:27,329 --> 00:12:28,929
No, it's okay. Famous author.
374
00:12:28,998 --> 00:12:31,298
Yeah, after one
successful local book signing,
375
00:12:31,367 --> 00:12:33,000
my mom became a monster.
376
00:12:33,068 --> 00:12:34,935
Hey! Your dog just did
his business on my lawn!
377
00:12:35,037 --> 00:12:36,036
You gonna pick that up?
378
00:12:36,138 --> 00:12:37,638
Oh, I don't do that anymore.
379
00:12:37,706 --> 00:12:39,172
But here.
380
00:12:39,225 --> 00:12:41,879
A real nightmare who thought
the rules didn't apply to her.
381
00:12:41,973 --> 00:12:43,710
Sorry. Fame doesn't wait in line.
382
00:12:43,812 --> 00:12:45,045
Uh, do you mind?
383
00:12:45,147 --> 00:12:46,346
Okay, just one.
384
00:12:46,415 --> 00:12:48,515
In her mind, she was
The Beatles of cooking.
385
00:12:48,584 --> 00:12:49,816
Okay, this is for all of you.
386
00:12:49,919 --> 00:12:51,585
And there was no slowing her down.
387
00:12:51,654 --> 00:12:52,853
Whoo-hoo!
388
00:12:52,922 --> 00:12:55,989
Bookbinder's on a Saturday night
with no reservations.
389
00:12:56,091 --> 00:12:57,024
You really did it, Bevy.
390
00:12:57,092 --> 00:12:58,225
Remember, when we're in public,
391
00:12:58,294 --> 00:12:59,893
it's Brittley Divine.
392
00:12:59,962 --> 00:13:01,795
I'm sorry... this table's reserved.
393
00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:03,230
Uh, for celebs, yes.
394
00:13:03,299 --> 00:13:04,431
For this party of four.
395
00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:06,199
There's a waiting list.
It's about two hours.
396
00:13:06,302 --> 00:13:07,868
I thought you said
you had a standing table
397
00:13:07,937 --> 00:13:09,336
with complimentary appetizers.
398
00:13:09,405 --> 00:13:12,606
I was gonna order two of
everything, Noah's Ark-style.
399
00:13:12,675 --> 00:13:14,841
All right, hand over the menus.
We're not going anywhere.
400
00:13:14,910 --> 00:13:16,543
I am, 'cause this is mortifying.
401
00:13:16,612 --> 00:13:18,111
I guess you've left me no choice.
402
00:13:20,316 --> 00:13:22,015
It's me. All right?
403
00:13:22,084 --> 00:13:24,251
Now, be a dear
and go get us three iced teas
404
00:13:24,353 --> 00:13:26,553
and maybe turn the lights down
in this section,
405
00:13:26,622 --> 00:13:28,655
because people are starting to stare!
406
00:13:28,724 --> 00:13:31,925
They're staring at you
because you're a nightmare.
407
00:13:32,027 --> 00:13:34,261
I'm going across the street
to Long John Silver's.
408
00:13:34,330 --> 00:13:37,264
I didn't realize we were
so close to fried pirate fish.
409
00:13:37,333 --> 00:13:39,633
Sit down, Barry.
We are eating here for free.
410
00:13:39,735 --> 00:13:41,268
Clearly, this woman is very embarrassed
411
00:13:41,337 --> 00:13:42,936
and she'll do anything to make it right.
412
00:13:43,038 --> 00:13:44,137
I'm calling the police.
413
00:13:44,239 --> 00:13:45,973
While my mom's ego was out of control,
414
00:13:46,108 --> 00:13:47,741
so was Dave Kim's party.
415
00:13:47,843 --> 00:13:48,909
There you are!
416
00:13:48,978 --> 00:13:50,277
Took me a while to get that water
417
00:13:50,312 --> 00:13:52,112
because someone ripped
the faucet off the sink.
418
00:13:52,214 --> 00:13:53,146
Oh. Thanks.
419
00:13:53,215 --> 00:13:54,648
But I'm just gonna get out of here.
420
00:13:54,717 --> 00:13:56,383
What? The party's just getting started!
421
00:13:56,485 --> 00:13:58,318
Started? My mailman is in the kitchen,
422
00:13:58,420 --> 00:14:00,087
screaming that he wants
someone to punch him.
423
00:14:00,155 --> 00:14:01,421
What if I could calm this place down?
424
00:14:01,490 --> 00:14:03,423
- How are you gonna do that?
- With this!
425
00:14:03,525 --> 00:14:04,825
People are always too embarrassed
426
00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:06,827
to do stupid stuff in front of a camera.
427
00:14:06,895 --> 00:14:08,462
Turns out that wasn't the case.
428
00:14:08,564 --> 00:14:10,597
Hey, world, check me out!
429
00:14:10,699 --> 00:14:13,300
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go!
430
00:14:14,570 --> 00:14:16,169
I will never regret this!
431
00:14:16,238 --> 00:14:17,871
Furniture Jenga rules!
432
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,172
Whooooooa!
433
00:14:21,176 --> 00:14:22,275
Stack 'em again.
434
00:14:22,378 --> 00:14:24,111
I'm bleeding, but I can go higher.
435
00:14:24,179 --> 00:14:26,980
Stop stealing!
That's the Kim family microwave.
436
00:14:27,082 --> 00:14:28,582
I have you on film!
437
00:14:28,684 --> 00:14:30,017
Mine.
438
00:14:30,052 --> 00:14:32,052
I'm not sure the camera worked
like you thought it would.
439
00:14:33,322 --> 00:14:36,323
My mom's Franklin Mint
commemorative plate collection!
440
00:14:36,392 --> 00:14:37,671
Those are worth a fortune
441
00:14:37,749 --> 00:14:38,905
or possibly nothing!
442
00:14:38,961 --> 00:14:40,794
Follow me to safety!
443
00:14:40,863 --> 00:14:43,630
What are you doing in
our hiding spot, Johnny Atkins?
444
00:14:43,655 --> 00:14:44,577
Just takin' a breather.
445
00:14:44,602 --> 00:14:47,234
- It's pretty rough out there.
- Johnny Atkins is afraid?!
446
00:14:47,302 --> 00:14:49,236
If he can't handle this, no one can!
447
00:14:49,304 --> 00:14:50,470
I say we throw "Goldnerd" out there.
448
00:14:50,539 --> 00:14:51,905
They'll swarm him,
and we'll make our getaway.
449
00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:53,974
Ugh! Why didn't I leave?!
450
00:14:54,076 --> 00:14:55,108
I'm scared.
451
00:14:55,210 --> 00:14:56,343
In that moment, I knew
452
00:14:56,412 --> 00:14:58,445
this was my chance
to prove myself to Brea.
453
00:14:58,514 --> 00:14:59,946
I'm gonna make a phone call.
454
00:15:00,015 --> 00:15:01,481
As I was calling in reinforcements,
455
00:15:01,550 --> 00:15:03,317
my mom was about to be called out.
456
00:15:03,419 --> 00:15:04,551
What's all this?
457
00:15:04,653 --> 00:15:06,386
You told me Barbara Walters was coming
458
00:15:06,455 --> 00:15:09,022
to interview me about my book
and my cosmetics line.
459
00:15:09,058 --> 00:15:10,883
No, that's a super-obvious lie,
460
00:15:10,954 --> 00:15:12,125
and the fact that you believed it
461
00:15:12,194 --> 00:15:14,227
suggests how out of touch
with reality you are.
462
00:15:14,274 --> 00:15:15,295
So she's running late?
463
00:15:15,397 --> 00:15:16,496
Bevy...
464
00:15:16,598 --> 00:15:17,898
...this is an intervention.
465
00:15:17,966 --> 00:15:21,001
Oh, no. Is Barry
back on Strawberry Quik again?
466
00:15:21,070 --> 00:15:22,936
I can quit whenever I want.
467
00:15:23,038 --> 00:15:24,337
This intervention is for you.
468
00:15:24,406 --> 00:15:25,706
Me? What's my problem?
469
00:15:25,808 --> 00:15:27,441
You've become an embarrassing psycho.
470
00:15:27,543 --> 00:15:28,742
Cookie break!
471
00:15:28,844 --> 00:15:30,343
I'm a psycho?
472
00:15:30,412 --> 00:15:32,212
Your boyfriend is dressed as me.
473
00:15:32,314 --> 00:15:33,313
And I'm pulling it off.
474
00:15:34,083 --> 00:15:35,048
And I'm... pulling it off.
475
00:15:35,150 --> 00:15:36,983
Since this whole book thing started,
476
00:15:37,052 --> 00:15:39,219
you've been shameful,
rude, and dismissive.
477
00:15:39,321 --> 00:15:41,421
And I want nothing more
than to live a life
478
00:15:41,523 --> 00:15:43,444
of unearned celebrity excess,
479
00:15:43,530 --> 00:15:45,741
but right now,
you're being total garbage.
480
00:15:45,819 --> 00:15:48,495
I see. I had no idea
me fulfilling my dreams
481
00:15:48,564 --> 00:15:51,131
was gonna cause you
so much pain and jealousy.
482
00:15:51,233 --> 00:15:53,333
Jealousy? No one here is saying that.
483
00:15:53,435 --> 00:15:54,534
You didn't have to.
484
00:15:54,636 --> 00:15:56,970
It's all over your faces,
like Strawberry Quik!
485
00:15:57,072 --> 00:15:58,605
I only do it on the weekends!
486
00:15:58,707 --> 00:16:01,441
Okay, I'm gonna go spend time
with my real family...
487
00:16:01,543 --> 00:16:04,478
my fans at the book expo downtown.
488
00:16:04,580 --> 00:16:05,645
Can you hear yourself?
489
00:16:05,748 --> 00:16:07,814
Not above the roar of my adoring crowd.
490
00:16:07,916 --> 00:16:11,017
The BevHeads are gonna be
lined up around the block!
491
00:16:13,388 --> 00:16:14,970
Where are all my BevHeads?
492
00:16:15,048 --> 00:16:16,723
BevHeads?
493
00:16:16,825 --> 00:16:19,626
Your book was a minor local success,
494
00:16:19,728 --> 00:16:22,162
and only because your friends
and family supported you.
495
00:16:22,264 --> 00:16:23,864
But you knew that.
496
00:16:23,966 --> 00:16:24,998
I did not.
497
00:16:25,100 --> 00:16:26,600
That's hilarious.
498
00:16:26,702 --> 00:16:29,684
Well, I've got a pregnant
Great Dane in the car.
499
00:16:33,889 --> 00:16:36,097
The party had trashed Dave Kim's house,
500
00:16:36,175 --> 00:16:37,980
and now it was taking to the streets.
501
00:16:38,098 --> 00:16:39,980
They're taking our pillows, man!
502
00:16:40,066 --> 00:16:42,529
Why?! Why?!!
503
00:16:42,608 --> 00:16:44,241
It's best we don't know.
504
00:16:44,309 --> 00:16:46,309
As hope... and Dave Kim's belongings...
505
00:16:46,412 --> 00:16:47,778
disappeared into the night,
506
00:16:47,846 --> 00:16:49,946
a friendly face showed up just in time.
507
00:16:50,015 --> 00:16:52,082
No, they weren't in slow motion,
508
00:16:52,151 --> 00:16:54,518
and yes, half had their
blinkers on for no reason,
509
00:16:54,586 --> 00:16:56,086
but that armada of Cadillacs
510
00:16:56,155 --> 00:16:59,022
was the most beautiful sight
I'd ever seen.
511
00:16:59,091 --> 00:17:00,557
Thanks for doing this, Pops.
512
00:17:00,659 --> 00:17:02,159
And I brought reinforcements.
513
00:17:02,227 --> 00:17:03,727
Five Cadillacs should do it.
514
00:17:03,796 --> 00:17:05,562
Five? We started with seven.
515
00:17:05,631 --> 00:17:07,531
Where the hell are Bob and Diane?
516
00:17:07,599 --> 00:17:10,067
I'm sorry I told you
I don't want you around.
517
00:17:10,169 --> 00:17:11,134
That's not true.
518
00:17:11,236 --> 00:17:13,403
Aw, sometimes it might be.
519
00:17:13,472 --> 00:17:14,471
You're a young man.
520
00:17:14,540 --> 00:17:16,840
You don't need your Pops
cramping your style.
521
00:17:16,909 --> 00:17:17,874
I don't get it.
522
00:17:17,943 --> 00:17:19,972
How are you always so understanding?
523
00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:21,218
Hey.
524
00:17:21,313 --> 00:17:23,280
You're my best bud.
525
00:17:23,348 --> 00:17:25,515
I know what's in your heart.
526
00:17:27,886 --> 00:17:29,986
Yeah, me too, buddy.
527
00:17:30,022 --> 00:17:33,290
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have a party to break up.
528
00:17:33,392 --> 00:17:35,358
Come on, everybody!
529
00:17:35,461 --> 00:17:36,573
Let's ride!
530
00:17:37,434 --> 00:17:38,762
That night, Pops busted out
531
00:17:38,864 --> 00:17:40,720
the coolest party trick I'd ever seen.
532
00:17:40,745 --> 00:17:41,862
Come on, come on.
533
00:17:41,933 --> 00:17:45,068
He got a bunch of alte kakers
to make it crazy-uncool!
534
00:17:45,137 --> 00:17:48,805
There were puzzles, bingo,
pictures of grandkids,
535
00:17:48,907 --> 00:17:50,841
and plenty of butterscotch.
536
00:17:50,909 --> 00:17:53,376
And, man, did it
clear that party out fast.
537
00:17:53,445 --> 00:17:55,341
We did it. We totally saved this house.
538
00:17:59,017 --> 00:18:00,183
That'll buff out.
539
00:18:00,219 --> 00:18:02,152
As Pops saved the day, my mom discovered
540
00:18:02,221 --> 00:18:04,321
there was some interest
in her book after all.
541
00:18:04,389 --> 00:18:05,355
Excuse me.
542
00:18:05,424 --> 00:18:07,691
Where could a BevHead
get their book signed?
543
00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:08,759
What are you doing here?
544
00:18:08,827 --> 00:18:10,961
I came to support my beautiful wife.
545
00:18:11,029 --> 00:18:12,829
Even after the way I acted?
546
00:18:12,931 --> 00:18:14,264
It wasn't your finest moment.
547
00:18:14,333 --> 00:18:15,699
I'm so sorry.
548
00:18:15,734 --> 00:18:18,702
I was just excited for you guys
to finally be proud of me.
549
00:18:18,771 --> 00:18:21,104
Are you kidding?
We're always proud of you.
550
00:18:21,173 --> 00:18:23,388
It's true, Mom.
And you got a book published.
551
00:18:23,413 --> 00:18:24,351
That's not nothing.
552
00:18:24,376 --> 00:18:25,876
Yeah, a book nobody cares about.
553
00:18:25,978 --> 00:18:27,244
We care about it.
554
00:18:27,279 --> 00:18:28,812
And isn't that what's important,
555
00:18:28,881 --> 00:18:30,981
not some stupid table at Bookbinder's?
556
00:18:31,016 --> 00:18:32,149
Here's the thing.
557
00:18:32,217 --> 00:18:34,117
You don't need the whole world
to love you,
558
00:18:34,186 --> 00:18:36,386
because you got
a world of love right here.
559
00:18:36,488 --> 00:18:37,687
Damn it, Murray!
560
00:18:37,756 --> 00:18:39,656
Why do you always say the perfect thing?
561
00:18:39,725 --> 00:18:41,391
Because you make it easy.
562
00:18:45,164 --> 00:18:47,898
Hey! All you book dopes!
563
00:18:47,966 --> 00:18:51,902
Come on over here! My wife wrote
an amazing cookbook!
564
00:18:54,873 --> 00:18:56,072
Brea.
565
00:18:56,141 --> 00:18:57,174
You're still here?
566
00:18:57,242 --> 00:18:58,275
Yeah.
567
00:18:58,310 --> 00:19:00,410
I think my friend left
on a motorized scooter.
568
00:19:01,747 --> 00:19:03,814
I can't believe I did this
to Dave Kim's house
569
00:19:03,916 --> 00:19:05,081
just to impress you.
570
00:19:05,184 --> 00:19:06,917
You ever consider just talking to me?
571
00:19:06,952 --> 00:19:07,984
Like that would work.
572
00:19:08,086 --> 00:19:09,286
Give it a shot.
573
00:19:09,311 --> 00:19:10,518
You might be surprised.
574
00:19:10,588 --> 00:19:12,656
Okeydokey, Smokey the Bear.
575
00:19:12,758 --> 00:19:13,890
Stop.
576
00:19:13,926 --> 00:19:16,993
Enough with the... weirdness.
577
00:19:17,095 --> 00:19:18,929
Just be yourself.
578
00:19:19,031 --> 00:19:20,864
Talk to me as a person.
579
00:19:20,933 --> 00:19:22,599
Got it.
580
00:19:22,701 --> 00:19:24,167
So...
581
00:19:25,637 --> 00:19:27,571
...you want to maybe...
582
00:19:27,639 --> 00:19:29,306
get some ice cream?
583
00:19:29,408 --> 00:19:30,607
Sure.
584
00:19:30,709 --> 00:19:32,375
You want to walk to Scoops?
585
00:19:32,477 --> 00:19:34,044
Or I could drive us.
586
00:19:34,112 --> 00:19:36,112
Whoa! That's an enormous car.
587
00:19:36,215 --> 00:19:37,781
Yep.
588
00:19:37,850 --> 00:19:40,221
Almost as big as the heart
of the guy who loaned it to me.
589
00:19:41,185 --> 00:19:43,587
Turns out every story does have a hero.
590
00:19:43,655 --> 00:19:45,388
Sometimes they show up in the end.
591
00:19:45,457 --> 00:19:47,557
Sometimes they were there
from the beginning.
592
00:19:47,626 --> 00:19:49,292
That's the thing about the characters
593
00:19:49,394 --> 00:19:51,428
that fill the pages of our lives.
594
00:19:51,496 --> 00:19:53,797
They're always there to lift us up...
595
00:19:53,899 --> 00:19:56,599
and, in some cases,
bring us back down to Earth.
596
00:19:57,006 --> 00:20:00,537
And that can make
for a pretty sweet ending.
597
00:20:03,809 --> 00:20:04,941
Today we are here
598
00:20:05,010 --> 00:20:07,685
with the turtleneck-wearing
legend himself, Dave Kim.
599
00:20:09,181 --> 00:20:11,047
So, was there really a Dave Kim party?
600
00:20:11,116 --> 00:20:14,718
Well, I had told one person that
my mom was traveling to Korea,
601
00:20:14,820 --> 00:20:17,320
and he told the whole football team.
602
00:20:17,389 --> 00:20:20,423
Somehow the whole football team
got invited to my party.
603
00:20:20,525 --> 00:20:22,392
Anything else you want to say ruined?
604
00:20:22,494 --> 00:20:23,526
Any regrets?
605
00:20:23,629 --> 00:20:25,362
Uh, it's gonna, uh, show a bit.
606
00:20:25,430 --> 00:20:27,264
What did your parents say
when they got home?
607
00:20:27,366 --> 00:20:29,266
To this day, I don't think
they even know about it.
608
00:20:29,334 --> 00:20:31,064
Your parents watch the show, don't they?
609
00:20:32,478 --> 00:20:35,415
Okay, book guy, buckle up,
'Cause I got a few ideas
610
00:20:35,493 --> 00:20:36,962
guaranteed to be best sellers.
611
00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:39,007
- Wow me.
- Think "The Shining,"
612
00:20:39,094 --> 00:20:41,309
but instead of the hotel,
it's the beach,
613
00:20:41,411 --> 00:20:44,346
- and instead of ghosts, it's hot chicks.
- Okay.
614
00:20:44,448 --> 00:20:46,150
You know how people
like the Bible, right?
615
00:20:46,175 --> 00:20:47,290
What if there was a sequel?
616
00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:48,337
I'm an atheist.
617
00:20:48,423 --> 00:20:50,323
Dracula, but a book.
618
00:20:50,392 --> 00:20:51,790
I have news for you.
619
00:20:51,826 --> 00:20:54,793
A book of poems that's been
hollowed out to hide nunchucks.
620
00:20:54,829 --> 00:20:57,130
My people will be in touch.
621
00:20:57,165 --> 00:20:58,431
And I'm far enough away now
622
00:20:58,466 --> 00:21:00,232
to tell you that that was a lie.