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Back in the '80s,
the hottest trends were Jams,
2
00:00:02,797 --> 00:00:05,867
Wayfarer, Swatch watches,
and acid-wash jeans.
3
00:00:05,953 --> 00:00:07,588
But at William Penn Academy,
4
00:00:07,695 --> 00:00:09,856
there was one item
of colorful wool clothing
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that the biggest trendsetters
were never without.
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Is it just me, or does everyone
but us have a letterman jacket?
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Speak for yourself, bro.
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Did I miss the day they sell the
clothes from the lost and found?
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We earned these.
I lettered in badminton.
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- Dive team.
- Bass fishing.
11
00:00:22,864 --> 00:00:24,565
Wow. This school's athletic department
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has really grown in the last few years.
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Yep, I'm a jock now,
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and I get all the sweet
benefits that come with it.
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Hello, my romantic equal.
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- Die, dork.
- And the dance begins.
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00:00:34,509 --> 00:00:36,377
Well, it's not like I need
a stupid varsity letter
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00:00:36,509 --> 00:00:37,744
to get into film school.
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- Au contraire.
- Balls!
20
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And balls may be exactly
what you need, Mr. Goldberg.
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You need to round out
your personal journey
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with some athletic challenges.
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00:00:46,152 --> 00:00:48,122
But people who make movies
don't care about sports.
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Not true.
25
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Alfred Hitchcock... Star tailback.
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Ron Howard... Decathlete.
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00:00:52,792 --> 00:00:54,427
Ridley Scott... Hockey goon.
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That all seems super wrong.
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00:00:56,729 --> 00:00:58,564
But are you saying if I
don't get a varsity letter,
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I won't get into film school?
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I'm not not saying that.
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Luckily, I'm heading up a revival
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00:01:03,636 --> 00:01:06,840
of a storied William Penn
athletic institution.
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Pickleball!
35
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The sport of kings!
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This is William Penn's last
championship pickleball team.
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Anyone look familiar?
38
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Is that Vidal Sassoon?
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That's me... Earl "Mr. March" Ball.
40
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March was the month for the
tri-state pickleball finals,
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hence the sobriquet.
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I mostly follow.
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- Nice hair. What happened?
- Time.
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She's a cruel thief.
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She took my golden locks
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but also my precious pickleball
47
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from the fore of mainstream sports.
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Come on. Pickleball was never a thing.
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How dare you?
50
00:01:37,137 --> 00:01:38,705
It swept the nation!
51
00:01:38,839 --> 00:01:40,140
You seem fired up for some reason,
52
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so I'll match your emotion.
53
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Let's do this giant ping-pong thing!
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That's the spirit!
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Coach Nick,
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we got a fresh cucumber
ready to be brined.
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- Coach him up.
- Never.
58
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I'm done with you pushing
your filthy pickle in my gym.
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00:01:54,621 --> 00:01:56,256
Please remember, words matter,
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00:01:56,390 --> 00:01:58,526
and I am the principal of this school.
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And I am the principal of this gym.
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The gym is inside the school,
so I am principal of both.
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Damn it. That tracks.
64
00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:08,936
But I'll still never coach
this sorry excuse for a sport.
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Yeah, seems like Coach Nick's
got some stuff going on.
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Why don't you just jump out
there and show us what you got?
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Hey, everyone. Let's have some fun.
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Fresh dill coming your way.
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Oh, that seems cute...
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Welcome to the pickle, bitch.
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Such a regal game.
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♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪
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♪ But nonetheless,
I feel the need to say ♪
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Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
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♪ I don't know the future ♪
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♪ But the past keeps getting
clearer every day ♪
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It was January 15th, 1980-something,
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and with my dad's birthday
fast approaching,
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my mom was on edge.
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Murray's turning 51 and has forbidden me
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from exercising my greatest gift.
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Pointing out when someone's
put on a couple of pounds?
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I'm very perceptive.
I can hear it over the phone.
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But no, it's planning elaborate,
over-the-top birthday parties.
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That's exactly what she'd
done for my dad's 50th birthday,
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but it turned out he hated parties,
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so he fell asleep under a pile of
coats and missed the whole thing.
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Which is why we're just having
a stupid family dinner
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and I'm presenting him
with this tiny scrapbook.
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"Murray Goldberg... Husband, Father,
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00:03:11,865 --> 00:03:14,235
"President of our United Hearts
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"Volume 18"?
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00:03:15,635 --> 00:03:17,170
Well, a legacy this rich
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can't be contained in one volume.
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The man has two shirts.
I think it can be done.
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Where'd you get all this stuff, anyway?
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00:03:24,479 --> 00:03:26,414
His dad gave me a box of old memories.
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Grumpy Ben?
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00:03:27,682 --> 00:03:30,765
I thought he hated memories
and Murray and boxes.
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00:03:30,850 --> 00:03:32,152
Yeah, he's not great.
101
00:03:32,285 --> 00:03:34,148
Yo, where's your checkbook?
There's a shirt I want.
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I mean... I need to
recharge my hug batteries.
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Has college taught you nothing?
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You open with the hug nonsense.
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Go ahead. It's in my purse.
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Cheggit, it's Dad's birth certificate.
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00:03:45,932 --> 00:03:47,567
Whoa. He was a big baby.
108
00:03:47,700 --> 00:03:49,869
They didn't even bother with the ounces.
109
00:03:50,003 --> 00:03:51,539
He's actually a year younger
than we thought he was.
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Wait. That can't be right.
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Trust me, Bev,
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the feds don't get this stuff wrong.
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Full disclosure...
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I thought Dad was in his mid-60s.
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If this is real,
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00:04:00,546 --> 00:04:03,582
then that means Murray
is turning 50 again,
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which means I get a redo.
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00:04:05,152 --> 00:04:06,587
That's your takeaway?
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00:04:06,719 --> 00:04:07,920
I wish I could redo coming over here.
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00:04:08,055 --> 00:04:10,724
By the power vested in me by me,
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I am throwing Murray
a second 50th birthday party.
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Yeah, I don't think
he's gonna be excited
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about the party
or the life-changing error
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00:04:18,265 --> 00:04:19,099
that will rock him to his core.
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00:04:19,233 --> 00:04:20,668
Pishposh.
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00:04:20,801 --> 00:04:22,868
Murray is gonna be thrilled
to hear the great news.
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What the hell am I?
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50!
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Now you get to enjoy
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00:04:27,241 --> 00:04:30,577
the unspeakably grand
second 50th extravaganza
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that I am somehow
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gonna pull together at the last minute.
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I'm sorry. I-I'm kinda reeling here.
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My whole life's been a lie.
135
00:04:36,316 --> 00:04:37,517
Big-time.
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If I had to guess,
it's that your hateful father
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00:04:39,519 --> 00:04:41,655
screwed up yet another detail
of your childhood.
138
00:04:41,789 --> 00:04:44,291
But, hey, cake and presents.
139
00:04:44,424 --> 00:04:45,758
That rotten bastard.
140
00:04:45,892 --> 00:04:47,428
Just go talk to him,
tell him how you feel.
141
00:04:47,561 --> 00:04:49,462
Oh, I'm gonna talk to him, all right.
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00:04:49,596 --> 00:04:50,764
I'm gonna talk to him good.
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00:04:50,897 --> 00:04:52,933
And also give him this invitation.
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00:04:53,066 --> 00:04:54,734
How did you get these
printed up so quickly?
145
00:04:54,868 --> 00:04:56,036
I get things done.
146
00:04:56,169 --> 00:04:57,837
Now you go get this done with your dad
147
00:04:57,971 --> 00:04:59,440
so we can finally have my party...
148
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Your party. Your party.
149
00:05:01,383 --> 00:05:03,877
While my dad had
a bone to pick with his dad,
150
00:05:04,010 --> 00:05:07,070
I had handpicked someone to help
me kick butt at pickleball.
151
00:05:07,141 --> 00:05:08,082
Barry, I need your help.
152
00:05:08,214 --> 00:05:10,484
No can do, bro. I've got a midterm.
153
00:05:10,616 --> 00:05:12,052
But I have a sports emergency.
154
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Say no more. But first, say more.
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- What is the sport?
- Pickleball.
156
00:05:17,457 --> 00:05:19,291
You will be a champion within hours.
157
00:05:19,426 --> 00:05:21,428
You can do that?
158
00:05:21,561 --> 00:05:23,229
Your relentless training begins now.
159
00:05:23,363 --> 00:05:25,599
I could barely do a regular push-up.
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00:05:25,733 --> 00:05:27,301
This is just you sitting on me.
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If you can catch a pickle
blindfolded, you can do anything.
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- Barry... Oh, oh!
- Look alive.
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Oh, God! They're wet
and surprisingly hard.
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Oh, I'm so sorry.
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00:05:35,808 --> 00:05:37,743
Wax on, wax off.
166
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This is how Daniel-san learned
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00:05:39,246 --> 00:05:41,147
basic defensive karate moves.
168
00:05:41,281 --> 00:05:44,051
And how to apply an important
coat of wax before it rains.
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00:05:44,185 --> 00:05:45,452
Barry...
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00:05:45,585 --> 00:05:47,621
You do know how to play
pickleball, don't you?
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00:05:47,755 --> 00:05:49,323
Till today, I never heard of pickleball.
172
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So this was just you sitting on me
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and winging pickles at my head
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00:05:53,260 --> 00:05:54,995
and having me clean your car?
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00:05:55,128 --> 00:05:57,149
Totally. Wouldn't it be
cool if those things
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00:05:57,243 --> 00:05:58,946
actually made you good at pickleball?
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00:05:59,055 --> 00:06:00,251
You were last my hope.
178
00:06:00,321 --> 00:06:01,829
Who am I supposed to turn to now?
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00:06:01,915 --> 00:06:03,243
Chill.
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00:06:03,303 --> 00:06:05,954
I'll take you to my sports
mentor, Coach Mellor.
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00:06:06,071 --> 00:06:07,461
But Coach Mellor disappeared
182
00:06:07,562 --> 00:06:10,195
to follow his dream to coach
wrestling to adult men in the woods.
183
00:06:10,296 --> 00:06:11,875
- We'll never find him.
- And yet we will.
184
00:06:11,968 --> 00:06:14,218
I'll tell the police
he robbed us at gunpoint.
185
00:06:14,312 --> 00:06:15,715
Then they'll have to find him for us.
186
00:06:15,849 --> 00:06:17,053
Or we could just ask his brother.
187
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Not as fun, but I guess.
188
00:06:18,618 --> 00:06:20,357
Is that one of those pickles
you threw at me earlier?
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00:06:20,482 --> 00:06:23,162
When you get to college, you'll
learn the value of a pickle.
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00:06:23,256 --> 00:06:25,726
While Barry and I
set off to find Coach Mellor,
191
00:06:25,859 --> 00:06:28,294
my dad was about to go off on Pop-Pop.
192
00:06:28,428 --> 00:06:30,196
Where you been? I've been
out here five minutes.
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00:06:30,330 --> 00:06:32,532
Oh, I thought you were that busybody
lady from across the street
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00:06:32,666 --> 00:06:34,835
who's always trying to bring
me food, make sure I'm okay.
195
00:06:34,967 --> 00:06:38,271
Open the door next time, have a
conversation, that'll get rid of her.
196
00:06:38,404 --> 00:06:40,508
- What's crawling up your ass?
- This.
197
00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:42,208
What is that? Deed to your fancy house?
198
00:06:42,342 --> 00:06:44,710
Came here to rub it in my face?
Nicely played.
199
00:06:44,844 --> 00:06:46,012
It's my birth certificate.
200
00:06:46,145 --> 00:06:47,813
It says I'm a year younger
than I thought.
201
00:06:47,948 --> 00:06:49,049
Yeah. Well, oops.
202
00:06:49,181 --> 00:06:51,085
"Oops"? How the hell did this happen?
203
00:06:51,217 --> 00:06:54,188
I was busy. I didn't have time for
things like birthdays or meals
204
00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:55,554
or wherever the hell you were.
205
00:06:55,688 --> 00:06:57,034
So, you've known
about this my whole life?
206
00:06:57,159 --> 00:06:58,909
No, no. Not your whole life.
207
00:06:58,993 --> 00:07:00,441
I noticed it when you were about 12...
208
00:07:00,526 --> 00:07:02,762
- Or, I guess, 11.
- Unbelievable.
209
00:07:02,886 --> 00:07:04,431
Oh, come on.
What difference did it make?
210
00:07:04,565 --> 00:07:06,033
The difference of a year.
211
00:07:06,166 --> 00:07:09,436
Here we go again, his highness
bellyaching about his birthday.
212
00:07:09,568 --> 00:07:11,537
What birthday?
You never even gave me one.
213
00:07:11,671 --> 00:07:13,606
La-di-da. Look who needs
a birthday every year.
214
00:07:13,741 --> 00:07:15,274
Who are you, Colonel Sanders?
215
00:07:15,409 --> 00:07:17,778
- The chicken guy?
- He was fancy, though, huh?
216
00:07:17,911 --> 00:07:19,880
I mean, who would wear a white
suit around all those chickens?
217
00:07:20,013 --> 00:07:22,248
Fine. The Colonel is a Southern dandy.
218
00:07:22,383 --> 00:07:24,752
But you never gave me a card or a cake
219
00:07:24,885 --> 00:07:26,652
or, God forbid, a present!
220
00:07:26,786 --> 00:07:28,388
Well, who knows what kids want?
221
00:07:28,522 --> 00:07:29,789
I told you every year!
222
00:07:29,924 --> 00:07:31,224
Yeah, socks that you'd call your own.
223
00:07:31,358 --> 00:07:33,794
No, a transistor radio
to listen to a ball game!
224
00:07:33,928 --> 00:07:35,362
Oh, boo-hoo.
225
00:07:35,495 --> 00:07:37,098
You know what you did get? A roof.
226
00:07:37,231 --> 00:07:39,588
Oh, you spoiled me
by letting me indoors.
227
00:07:39,674 --> 00:07:40,601
Can I just say something?
228
00:07:40,734 --> 00:07:41,978
Yeah, give me your half-assed apology.
229
00:07:42,064 --> 00:07:43,642
I wasn't going to apologize.
230
00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:46,705
What I was gonna say was that if
anybody handed me an extra year,
231
00:07:46,839 --> 00:07:48,755
I wouldn't spend it complaining
about not getting a pony.
232
00:07:48,833 --> 00:07:49,833
Transistor radio!
233
00:07:49,919 --> 00:07:51,545
There he goes again.
234
00:07:53,580 --> 00:07:57,287
Welcome to phase one of your
fabulous 50th redo party.
235
00:07:57,381 --> 00:07:58,584
♪ Happy Bir... ♪
236
00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:00,282
Not happy and no parties.
237
00:08:00,385 --> 00:08:01,453
I'll be in the shed.
238
00:08:02,789 --> 00:08:04,158
Check it out.
239
00:08:04,291 --> 00:08:06,632
The breeze from his angry
walk-by blew out the candles.
240
00:08:06,764 --> 00:08:08,643
I wonder what he wished for.
241
00:08:08,762 --> 00:08:10,664
If I had to guess, to sit in the shed.
242
00:08:10,796 --> 00:08:13,179
While my dad made
party-planning a challenge,
243
00:08:13,281 --> 00:08:15,521
finding Coach Mellor was
easier than we thought.
244
00:08:15,615 --> 00:08:16,579
Coach Mellor?
245
00:08:16,661 --> 00:08:19,146
Well, well, well. If it
isn't the Goldfarb boys.
246
00:08:19,272 --> 00:08:21,008
- You look...
- Like an old, stinky dook
247
00:08:21,140 --> 00:08:23,042
left in your favorite running shoe,
248
00:08:23,176 --> 00:08:24,611
and you want to go for
a run, but you can't,
249
00:08:24,745 --> 00:08:26,680
'cause that hot steamer
owns that shoe now.
250
00:08:26,813 --> 00:08:28,214
I was gonna say "sad," but sure,
251
00:08:28,347 --> 00:08:30,087
I guess your dook-shoe
story is more colorful.
252
00:08:30,165 --> 00:08:31,318
What are you doing here?
253
00:08:31,451 --> 00:08:32,620
I thought you were
at billionaire oddball
254
00:08:32,752 --> 00:08:34,520
John du Pont's Foxcatcher Farm.
255
00:08:34,654 --> 00:08:35,989
I was, but those dark woods
256
00:08:36,121 --> 00:08:38,159
hid more secrets
than I'm willing to admit.
257
00:08:38,292 --> 00:08:39,960
But I turned that "L" into a "W"
258
00:08:40,093 --> 00:08:41,628
by quitting coaching forever.
259
00:08:41,761 --> 00:08:43,896
But you were the one who always
said winners never quit.
260
00:08:44,030 --> 00:08:46,766
And you said the only cure for
broken bones is jumping jacks,
261
00:08:46,899 --> 00:08:48,986
which is medically wrong,
but inspiring, I guess.
262
00:08:49,098 --> 00:08:50,465
Sorry, boys,
263
00:08:50,525 --> 00:08:53,432
but I've hung up my whistle... there.
264
00:08:54,674 --> 00:08:58,178
- But it's a sports emergency!
- It's true.
265
00:08:58,310 --> 00:09:00,046
Without you, I won't get
into the one school
266
00:09:00,179 --> 00:09:01,647
that guarantees future success...
267
00:09:01,780 --> 00:09:03,149
Film school.
268
00:09:03,283 --> 00:09:04,717
You know, I've spent so much time
269
00:09:04,851 --> 00:09:07,721
around jacked men pushing
physical and societal limits
270
00:09:07,855 --> 00:09:10,291
that I forgot the charming
whine of a little boy.
271
00:09:10,424 --> 00:09:12,459
- Is that a yes?
- Far from it. I'm no coach.
272
00:09:12,592 --> 00:09:13,827
Look at me. I'm a mess.
273
00:09:13,961 --> 00:09:15,495
I've gained two pounds.
274
00:09:15,629 --> 00:09:17,797
Told you not to eat that 17th almond.
275
00:09:17,930 --> 00:09:19,365
See that? No self-control.
276
00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:22,101
Whatever your thing is... I can't
help you, boys. I'm sorry.
277
00:09:22,235 --> 00:09:23,904
Wait, Coach, is that you?
278
00:09:24,037 --> 00:09:25,739
Yeah, that's me.
279
00:09:25,872 --> 00:09:27,807
Were my delts really that jacked?
280
00:09:27,941 --> 00:09:30,611
Damn it, Rick, leave pickleball
in the past, where it belongs.
281
00:09:30,744 --> 00:09:32,580
You're just mad 'cause I was a
better P-Baller than you were.
282
00:09:32,712 --> 00:09:34,180
Of course I am.
283
00:09:34,314 --> 00:09:36,015
I was an All-American football player,
284
00:09:36,149 --> 00:09:38,385
but God didn't grace me
with the delicate wrists
285
00:09:38,518 --> 00:09:39,586
to wield that mighty paddle.
286
00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:42,154
Enough talk about God's fickle nature.
287
00:09:42,289 --> 00:09:44,024
My pathetic-nerd brother
288
00:09:44,158 --> 00:09:45,491
needs someone to show him how to pickle.
289
00:09:45,625 --> 00:09:47,593
It's true. I forgot how
pathetic and nerdy he is.
290
00:09:47,726 --> 00:09:49,395
I don't really think that's
the main takeaway here.
291
00:09:49,529 --> 00:09:51,564
Look at his spindly arms
and toothpick legs.
292
00:09:51,698 --> 00:09:54,300
His concave chest and that doughy neck.
293
00:09:54,434 --> 00:09:56,369
And his flat feet and sickly posture.
294
00:09:56,453 --> 00:09:57,705
Spin around, Adam.
295
00:09:57,798 --> 00:09:59,946
Show us how sad
the back of your body is.
296
00:10:00,073 --> 00:10:01,775
Yeah, my instinct is to say no.
297
00:10:01,909 --> 00:10:04,211
You know what? Seeing this tragic excuse
298
00:10:04,343 --> 00:10:06,288
for the human form in its full non-glory
299
00:10:06,374 --> 00:10:07,580
is just the kick
300
00:10:07,671 --> 00:10:09,765
in the two-button
polyester shorts I needed.
301
00:10:11,230 --> 00:10:12,398
I'm back, baby!
302
00:10:12,485 --> 00:10:13,499
Whoo!
303
00:10:13,553 --> 00:10:15,389
And someone else is back, too.
304
00:10:17,557 --> 00:10:19,373
Hello, old friend.
305
00:10:22,062 --> 00:10:23,943
Follow me to greatness, boys.
306
00:10:24,044 --> 00:10:25,959
With that, my training began.
307
00:10:26,890 --> 00:10:28,921
My dad didn't want a birthday redo,
308
00:10:29,007 --> 00:10:31,554
but my mom wasn't gonna take
"no" for an answer.
309
00:10:31,624 --> 00:10:33,693
Welcome, family and friends
of Murray Goldberg.
310
00:10:33,827 --> 00:10:36,330
I've assembled this dream team,
311
00:10:36,464 --> 00:10:37,532
and Essie,
312
00:10:37,665 --> 00:10:39,901
together to brainstorm some ideas
313
00:10:40,033 --> 00:10:42,803
for Murray's 50th surprise party.
314
00:10:42,936 --> 00:10:44,383
Geoff will be writing down your ideas.
315
00:10:44,471 --> 00:10:45,706
Here's an idea.
316
00:10:45,774 --> 00:10:47,008
We don't throw Dad a party
317
00:10:47,070 --> 00:10:48,781
because he clearly said
he doesn't want one.
318
00:10:48,930 --> 00:10:50,512
Boo!
319
00:10:50,644 --> 00:10:51,711
Don't write that down.
320
00:10:51,803 --> 00:10:52,913
But Erica's right, Bevy.
321
00:10:53,014 --> 00:10:55,015
The man chose a shed over cake.
322
00:10:55,149 --> 00:10:57,584
That's only because he has
never truly had a birthday.
323
00:10:57,718 --> 00:11:01,155
Now, once Murray understands the joy
of celebrating his special day,
324
00:11:01,288 --> 00:11:03,758
that shed won't seem
like such a fun option.
325
00:11:03,892 --> 00:11:06,617
Please. You just want a redo
of his last 50th birthday.
326
00:11:06,757 --> 00:11:08,262
Okay. Let's get pitching.
327
00:11:08,394 --> 00:11:10,586
All right. What does
Murray Goldberg like?
328
00:11:10,727 --> 00:11:13,630
Hmm.
329
00:11:13,763 --> 00:11:15,897
Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? There are no bad ideas.
330
00:11:16,032 --> 00:11:17,499
Cheese?
331
00:11:17,633 --> 00:11:19,035
I'm also in a cheese area.
332
00:11:19,168 --> 00:11:20,302
Did somebody already say cheese?
333
00:11:20,436 --> 00:11:21,738
The man does love cheese.
334
00:11:21,870 --> 00:11:23,138
Now we're cooking with gas.
335
00:11:23,272 --> 00:11:25,208
Okay, enough with cheese.
He likes other things.
336
00:11:25,340 --> 00:11:27,277
Bevy, maybe we should
get the ball rolling
337
00:11:27,410 --> 00:11:28,811
with things he doesn't like.
338
00:11:28,945 --> 00:11:30,479
There's a lot of those.
339
00:11:30,613 --> 00:11:32,681
I'll start. People.
340
00:11:32,815 --> 00:11:34,450
- Dancing.
- The Dallas Cowboys.
341
00:11:34,584 --> 00:11:35,719
Neighbors who wave to him.
342
00:11:35,852 --> 00:11:37,120
- Loud music.
- Loud birds.
343
00:11:37,253 --> 00:11:39,022
- Quiet birds.
- Doctors who advertise.
344
00:11:39,156 --> 00:11:41,157
My nephew, Darrin, for some
reason I can't understand.
345
00:11:41,291 --> 00:11:43,460
Parties, which again begs the question,
346
00:11:43,529 --> 00:11:44,739
why are we doing this?
347
00:11:44,825 --> 00:11:46,929
Mrs. Kremp, uh, what did you
say after Vic said Cowboys?
348
00:11:47,062 --> 00:11:49,464
Okay, this has obviously
been a huge waste of time.
349
00:11:49,599 --> 00:11:50,833
Oh, I know!
350
00:11:50,966 --> 00:11:53,503
Firemen acting like big shots.
351
00:11:53,636 --> 00:11:55,471
We're done, Vic. Thanks for nothing.
352
00:11:55,604 --> 00:11:57,739
Now, I need you all to get
the [Bleep] out of my house.
353
00:11:57,873 --> 00:11:59,041
But come back in three hours,
354
00:11:59,175 --> 00:12:00,777
and don't bring any birds or Darrin.
355
00:12:00,911 --> 00:12:02,712
He spells it with an "I."
356
00:12:02,845 --> 00:12:04,681
While my mom's
party committee fizzled out,
357
00:12:04,814 --> 00:12:06,849
I was ready to sizzle
on the pickleball court.
358
00:12:06,983 --> 00:12:08,184
You boys are in luck.
359
00:12:08,316 --> 00:12:11,354
Not only are you being trained
by a pickleball champion,
360
00:12:11,487 --> 00:12:14,591
but that champion happens
to have his own court.
361
00:12:14,724 --> 00:12:16,026
Ha-ha!
362
00:12:16,158 --> 00:12:18,494
Uh, you mean this sad dirt patch?
363
00:12:18,628 --> 00:12:19,763
And the net's all broken.
364
00:12:19,896 --> 00:12:20,930
You don't need a net.
365
00:12:21,064 --> 00:12:22,098
I don't know anything about pickleball,
366
00:12:22,230 --> 00:12:23,633
but I'm pretty sure you do.
367
00:12:23,767 --> 00:12:24,968
It's, like, the only thing you need.
368
00:12:26,701 --> 00:12:27,964
Let's get to work.
369
00:12:31,041 --> 00:12:32,472
Lob! Lob! Lob!
370
00:12:32,550 --> 00:12:34,310
It was time to get
serious about pickleball.
371
00:12:34,444 --> 00:12:35,477
Erne! Erne! Erne!
372
00:12:35,556 --> 00:12:38,368
Luckily, I had two of the greatest
sports mentors watching over me.
373
00:12:38,462 --> 00:12:39,915
- Half Volley!
- Half Volley.
374
00:12:40,048 --> 00:12:41,650
Thanks, Coach Echo. Lob!
375
00:12:41,785 --> 00:12:43,519
- Erne! Dink!
- But I still sucked.
376
00:12:43,652 --> 00:12:45,587
- Half Volley!
- Big-time.
377
00:12:45,721 --> 00:12:48,023
So dense.
378
00:12:48,157 --> 00:12:50,892
That's the beets and pears and bananas
379
00:12:51,027 --> 00:12:53,195
and a second type of beet.
380
00:12:53,329 --> 00:12:55,174
Oh, yeah, that's what I'm tasting.
381
00:12:55,276 --> 00:12:57,518
Nah, you're tasting the brewer's yeast.
382
00:12:57,596 --> 00:12:58,508
Oh!
383
00:12:58,548 --> 00:12:59,392
Again!
384
00:12:59,455 --> 00:13:01,570
But then something crazy happened.
385
00:13:01,704 --> 00:13:02,839
Maybe it was all the yelling
386
00:13:02,964 --> 00:13:04,191
- or the beet smoothie.
- Erne!
387
00:13:04,216 --> 00:13:05,433
- Dink! Half Volley!
- Either way,
388
00:13:05,464 --> 00:13:07,074
pickleball started to make sense.
389
00:13:07,075 --> 00:13:08,076
Ooh.
390
00:13:08,210 --> 00:13:09,210
Ooh! I brought the heat.
391
00:13:09,344 --> 00:13:11,681
That's one spicy pickle, Goldfarb.
392
00:13:11,815 --> 00:13:13,181
We did good work here today, Coach.
393
00:13:13,315 --> 00:13:14,950
We really did.
394
00:13:15,085 --> 00:13:17,820
This is the first time since I
escaped that compound by foot
395
00:13:17,954 --> 00:13:19,221
that I've felt anything but numb.
396
00:13:19,354 --> 00:13:21,356
- What happened there?
- I'm not ready.
397
00:13:21,490 --> 00:13:22,625
But I think I kinda am.
398
00:13:22,758 --> 00:13:24,226
I say when you're kinda ready.
399
00:13:25,461 --> 00:13:27,395
You're ready. Kinda.
400
00:13:27,530 --> 00:13:29,766
Meanwhile, my mom was
ready to hit my dad
401
00:13:29,898 --> 00:13:32,335
with the best surprise 50th redo ever.
402
00:13:32,468 --> 00:13:35,356
Everyone, come on in.
Welcome to Murmania.
403
00:13:35,465 --> 00:13:36,639
Murmania?
404
00:13:36,772 --> 00:13:40,008
Indeed. A love letter
to my husband in party form.
405
00:13:40,142 --> 00:13:41,444
You might want to remove your shoes,
406
00:13:41,576 --> 00:13:43,412
'cause I'm about
to knock your socks off.
407
00:13:43,546 --> 00:13:45,581
Well, I've got a wicked
bunion, but okay.
408
00:13:45,714 --> 00:13:47,249
Pretzels and milk, anyone?
409
00:13:47,383 --> 00:13:49,252
It's Mr. Goldberg's
favorite snackable drink.
410
00:13:49,384 --> 00:13:50,619
My dad likes it for some reason.
411
00:13:50,753 --> 00:13:52,254
Behold.
412
00:13:52,388 --> 00:13:55,119
Holy moly. Is that the
guy from Channel Five
413
00:13:55,206 --> 00:13:56,408
who hits the chime
when he does the weather?
414
00:13:58,283 --> 00:14:00,830
I'd recognize
that simple chime anywhere.
415
00:14:00,963 --> 00:14:02,198
Tonight's forecast...
416
00:14:02,331 --> 00:14:05,000
100% chance of Murray's tears of joy.
417
00:14:05,133 --> 00:14:06,668
Oh, my. What's happening here?
418
00:14:06,801 --> 00:14:10,473
Oh, tonight, it's the dining
and reclining room.
419
00:14:10,605 --> 00:14:13,391
Whoa, pretzel-y milk and lumbar support.
420
00:14:13,416 --> 00:14:14,551
But wait. There's more.
421
00:14:14,576 --> 00:14:17,013
Please welcome Lee of Lee's Hoagies.
422
00:14:17,146 --> 00:14:19,382
And for our final
special guest of the night,
423
00:14:19,514 --> 00:14:21,984
someone my husband
has admired for years,
424
00:14:22,118 --> 00:14:24,619
the Phillie Phanatic!
425
00:14:25,921 --> 00:14:27,690
Oh!
426
00:14:27,824 --> 00:14:30,260
The San Diego Chicken's mortal enemy.
427
00:14:30,392 --> 00:14:32,460
You've done it again, Beverly.
428
00:14:32,594 --> 00:14:34,296
You know what, Mom? This is crazy,
429
00:14:34,430 --> 00:14:35,897
and not in your usual clinical way.
430
00:14:36,032 --> 00:14:38,200
- Aww.
- Honestly, Dad is gonna love this.
431
00:14:38,335 --> 00:14:41,036
Well, after I asked you fools
what Murray would like,
432
00:14:41,170 --> 00:14:44,440
I realized nobody knows
that man better than me,
433
00:14:44,574 --> 00:14:46,650
his perfect wife with the
beautiful hair and skin.
434
00:14:46,676 --> 00:14:48,064
Oh, Dad's walking up the driveway.
435
00:14:48,143 --> 00:14:49,811
Oh. Uh, okay.
436
00:14:49,945 --> 00:14:51,413
Everybody, shut up!
437
00:14:51,546 --> 00:14:53,114
Shut up. Shut your faces.
438
00:14:53,139 --> 00:14:54,353
Even you, Phillie Phanatic.
439
00:14:54,462 --> 00:14:55,884
Beverly, I don't think
he has a working mouth.
440
00:14:57,686 --> 00:15:00,522
Surprise!
441
00:15:00,656 --> 00:15:01,791
In that moment,
442
00:15:01,925 --> 00:15:03,760
my Dad took in everything my mom did
443
00:15:03,892 --> 00:15:06,229
to make his birthday redo perfect,
444
00:15:06,363 --> 00:15:08,698
and all he did was this.
445
00:15:11,968 --> 00:15:13,236
Why, Chime Guy?
446
00:15:13,368 --> 00:15:15,705
While my mom's party was a bust,
447
00:15:15,838 --> 00:15:18,109
I was ready to bust some
moves on the pickleball court.
448
00:15:18,187 --> 00:15:19,675
Well, well, well.
449
00:15:19,809 --> 00:15:21,778
Look who heard the siren song
of the pickle
450
00:15:21,911 --> 00:15:23,132
and came running back home.
451
00:15:23,179 --> 00:15:24,413
Mr. March.
452
00:15:24,546 --> 00:15:25,915
In the flesh.
453
00:15:26,047 --> 00:15:28,350
Is your protege ready
to bring that hot dill?
454
00:15:28,484 --> 00:15:29,752
All that stands in the way
455
00:15:29,886 --> 00:15:31,721
of a letterman jacket and film school
456
00:15:31,854 --> 00:15:34,022
is chopping a backspin to the baseline.
457
00:15:34,157 --> 00:15:35,758
I hope you play as smooth as you talk.
458
00:15:35,891 --> 00:15:37,232
Schernecke!
459
00:15:39,161 --> 00:15:41,830
Goldberg, you beat our worst
player, you're on the team.
460
00:15:41,964 --> 00:15:44,266
Wait. I'm our worst player?
461
00:15:44,399 --> 00:15:45,756
Sorry you had to hear it this way,
462
00:15:45,858 --> 00:15:48,336
but glad we don't have to tiptoe
around it anymore. Go get 'em.
463
00:15:48,406 --> 00:15:49,451
This was it.
464
00:15:49,522 --> 00:15:51,529
My pickleball journey may
have been days in the making,
465
00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:53,441
but thanks to my training,
466
00:15:53,506 --> 00:15:55,344
there was no way I wouldn't
dominate the court.
467
00:15:58,447 --> 00:15:59,615
- And I did.
- Yeah!
468
00:15:59,748 --> 00:16:00,916
Sports was easy...
469
00:16:01,050 --> 00:16:02,618
Until it wasn't.
470
00:16:02,752 --> 00:16:04,954
Turns out, that point
would be my only one.
471
00:16:05,086 --> 00:16:06,321
Try again. Try again.
472
00:16:06,455 --> 00:16:08,557
Yep, that day on the pickleball court,
473
00:16:08,690 --> 00:16:11,627
Matt Schernecke sliced
and served me up hard.
474
00:16:11,761 --> 00:16:14,296
Okay, it's 20-1. I think
it's safe to call it.
475
00:16:14,430 --> 00:16:15,964
Terrible effort, Goldberg.
476
00:16:16,098 --> 00:16:18,067
Yes! I'm still the worst.
477
00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:19,569
Oh.
478
00:16:19,701 --> 00:16:21,770
Damn it! Now I'll never
get into film school.
479
00:16:21,903 --> 00:16:25,006
I just say that to get folks
interested in joining the team.
480
00:16:25,141 --> 00:16:28,878
Your future as a filmmaker
still may or may not happen.
481
00:16:29,012 --> 00:16:31,431
That was hard to watch.
482
00:16:32,189 --> 00:16:33,782
So, this was all for nothing?
483
00:16:33,916 --> 00:16:35,314
Not nothing.
484
00:16:35,408 --> 00:16:37,018
You proved beyond a shadow of a doubt
485
00:16:37,152 --> 00:16:38,447
that I'm not a coach anymore.
486
00:16:39,455 --> 00:16:40,522
I'm just a man.
487
00:16:40,656 --> 00:16:42,791
A man who has to go to a special gym
488
00:16:42,925 --> 00:16:47,032
to find heavy enough weights to lift.
But still just a man.
489
00:16:54,467 --> 00:16:55,928
I'd failed at pickleball,
490
00:16:55,982 --> 00:16:58,365
but I couldn't let Coach Mellor
think that he failed me.
491
00:16:58,460 --> 00:16:59,695
What are you doing?
492
00:16:59,828 --> 00:17:02,403
Just sodding over
a beautiful pickleball court.
493
00:17:02,496 --> 00:17:04,395
Thinking about putting
some azaleas right there,
494
00:17:04,504 --> 00:17:07,324
maybe a lovely crushed-stone
path where you're standing.
495
00:17:07,403 --> 00:17:10,372
- So long forever, my special pickle.
- I know this is a big blow,
496
00:17:10,466 --> 00:17:14,279
but this yard is gonna be a charming
outdoor area for entertaining.
497
00:17:14,381 --> 00:17:15,693
Just say your piece.
498
00:17:15,787 --> 00:17:17,622
I wanted to stop by and say thanks.
499
00:17:17,757 --> 00:17:19,325
Thanks for what?
You didn't make the team.
500
00:17:19,435 --> 00:17:21,044
Yeah.
501
00:17:21,568 --> 00:17:23,483
But you never gave up on me.
502
00:17:23,997 --> 00:17:26,007
I-I know you don't feel like a coach,
503
00:17:26,100 --> 00:17:27,803
but I still think
you're one of the best.
504
00:17:27,912 --> 00:17:28,975
Yeah.
505
00:17:29,069 --> 00:17:31,138
Truth be told, it was kinda
nice getting out there.
506
00:17:31,270 --> 00:17:33,705
Well, you should know,
letterman jacket or not,
507
00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:35,189
you've always inspired me.
508
00:17:37,043 --> 00:17:39,072
And you'll always be my coach.
509
00:17:39,165 --> 00:17:43,016
Damn it, Goldberg, you know absolutely
nothing about physical fitness,
510
00:17:43,149 --> 00:17:45,318
but you always seem to be able
to give my heart a workout.
511
00:17:50,122 --> 00:17:51,391
W-What's this for?
512
00:17:51,524 --> 00:17:53,191
Well, as far as I'm concerned,
513
00:17:53,325 --> 00:17:55,194
you'll always be first string
on the team of life.
514
00:17:55,327 --> 00:17:56,562
That's not a thing.
515
00:17:56,696 --> 00:17:57,797
Just put it on.
516
00:18:00,467 --> 00:18:02,369
Now, bring it in
for a standing dog pile.
517
00:18:07,038 --> 00:18:10,242
With that, I finally
got my letterman jacket.
518
00:18:10,376 --> 00:18:12,244
As for Coach Mellor,
he was finally thinking
519
00:18:12,378 --> 00:18:14,314
about getting back in the game.
520
00:18:16,516 --> 00:18:19,118
The thing is, when you
make peace with your past,
521
00:18:19,251 --> 00:18:20,686
your future is wide open.
522
00:18:20,820 --> 00:18:22,589
I'm sorry, Murray.
523
00:18:22,721 --> 00:18:24,956
You said you didn't want a
party, and I didn't listen.
524
00:18:25,091 --> 00:18:26,846
I-It wasn't that.
525
00:18:28,594 --> 00:18:30,026
It was perfect.
526
00:18:30,104 --> 00:18:31,424
You liked it?
527
00:18:31,518 --> 00:18:34,924
Yeah, all those people, everything
you did for me, I loved it.
528
00:18:35,026 --> 00:18:36,536
Then why are you in here?
529
00:18:36,650 --> 00:18:38,337
Oh, geez.
530
00:18:39,005 --> 00:18:41,107
Oh.
531
00:18:41,239 --> 00:18:43,276
My dad never cared about my birthday,
532
00:18:43,410 --> 00:18:45,143
so...
533
00:18:45,277 --> 00:18:46,613
I tried not to care.
534
00:18:46,746 --> 00:18:48,948
But tonight,
535
00:18:49,082 --> 00:18:50,950
I realized how much I missed.
536
00:18:51,584 --> 00:18:52,818
Oh, Murray.
537
00:18:52,952 --> 00:18:54,487
Nah, it's a good thing.
538
00:18:54,621 --> 00:18:58,959
I may have not had a great
dad or a great childhood,
539
00:18:59,092 --> 00:19:02,441
but I have a great wife
and a great life now.
540
00:19:04,386 --> 00:19:06,833
Well, you know what the best
part about this whole thing is?
541
00:19:06,966 --> 00:19:08,511
I saw hoagies down there.
542
00:19:09,825 --> 00:19:12,546
You're a whole year younger
than you thought you were.
543
00:19:12,671 --> 00:19:15,239
And even better, I get
an extra year with you.
544
00:19:16,082 --> 00:19:18,317
Sometimes, if you're lucky enough,
545
00:19:18,342 --> 00:19:19,866
life gives you a second chance.
546
00:19:20,748 --> 00:19:22,849
It might not happen
the way you thought it would,
547
00:19:22,982 --> 00:19:26,552
but often, you'll find the
biggest wins are off the court.
548
00:19:32,993 --> 00:19:34,995
Turns out, no matter how
you count the years,
549
00:19:35,128 --> 00:19:36,996
time keeps moving.
550
00:19:37,130 --> 00:19:39,765
And sure, it's easy
to fear getting older,
551
00:19:39,899 --> 00:19:42,901
but the truth is, if you're
busy worrying about the past,
552
00:19:43,036 --> 00:19:44,871
you might not notice
that the present moments
553
00:19:45,004 --> 00:19:46,384
are often the perfect ones.
554
00:19:47,642 --> 00:19:51,477
And in the end, those are the
ones you'll remember forever.
555
00:19:51,611 --> 00:19:53,713
Here. I, uh, got ya something.
556
00:19:53,783 --> 00:19:54,798
Don't make a big deal.
557
00:19:57,883 --> 00:19:59,704
Now you can listen to all
your ball games or whatever.
558
00:19:59,806 --> 00:20:02,298
- I love it!
- Yeah, well, anyway, uh...
559
00:20:03,789 --> 00:20:05,024
Happy birthday.
560
00:20:09,287 --> 00:20:10,746
So, that's the story
561
00:20:10,832 --> 00:20:12,731
of the second time my dad turned 50
562
00:20:12,865 --> 00:20:15,166
and how he always said
563
00:20:15,301 --> 00:20:17,231
it was one of the best
nights of his life.
564
00:20:26,446 --> 00:20:27,714
Give him this invitation.
565
00:20:30,048 --> 00:20:31,750
How you doing, everybody?
I'm Adam Goldberg.
566
00:20:31,884 --> 00:20:33,385
It's my dad's birthday right now,
567
00:20:33,518 --> 00:20:35,854
and he is 50 or 51.
We don't really know.
568
00:20:35,988 --> 00:20:37,824
♪ Happy Birthday ♪
569
00:20:37,950 --> 00:20:40,018
50 years, and look what
I have to show for it.
570
00:20:42,245 --> 00:20:43,713
Well, well, well.
571
00:20:43,799 --> 00:20:46,221
Look who came to dance one last pickle.
572
00:20:46,283 --> 00:20:47,871
Hey, Mr. March, or should I say,
573
00:20:47,965 --> 00:20:49,985
Mr. March Your Ass Out of Here
on a Stretcher?
574
00:20:50,090 --> 00:20:51,175
That was tortured.
575
00:20:51,244 --> 00:20:52,636
Like your forehand.
576
00:20:52,730 --> 00:20:54,074
I hope you got your hot dog ready,
577
00:20:54,183 --> 00:20:56,291
because you're about to be
relish, my friend.
578
00:20:56,335 --> 00:20:57,335
Bring the pickle!
579
00:21:11,803 --> 00:21:14,405
Pickle!
580
00:21:14,490 --> 00:21:17,029
Aah! Damn it, that hurt!
581
00:21:17,177 --> 00:21:20,372
Curse you and this
God-awful excuse for a sport!
582
00:21:21,954 --> 00:21:26,954
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com