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The '80s sparked some
of the most iconic couples ever!
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00:00:02,987 --> 00:00:04,721
From Loni and Burt to Goldie and Kurt,
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if you acted together, you
usually ended up together.
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And since my ex, Dana,
had come back into my life,
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I secretly hoped the fall play
would rekindle our romance.
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Ladies and lords,
hold on to your Tudor caps.
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Romeo and Juliet!
8
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Yes! It's West Side Story
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without the fun music or Latino gangs.
10
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I haven't read it yet,
but Carla's always saying
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how we're totally gonna end
up like Romeo and Juliet.
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Oh, boy.
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Well, I'm definitely
auditioning for Juliet.
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And good luck, everyone else,
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'cause you're a shoo-in, girlfriend.
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Friend that's a girl. Just girl.
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You know what you got.
Have a Romeo in mind?
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Who're we kidding?
Andrew Gallery crushed it as Romeo
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at that fancy arts camp last summer.
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Right. Gallery.
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Yep, every drama class had one...
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Handsome, weirdly confident,
and totally unbearable.
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I find if I only wash
my hair once a month,
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it gets a natural messiness
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that I can't acquire with
a traditional conditioner.
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You are so brave.
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- I want to play a marine one day.
- Oh.
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Apparently he told the Yale theater
program he'd "let them know."
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Someone should let him know
he's not all that.
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No way, bro. Gallery
checks all the boxes!
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Accept it.
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There's just way better
people in the world.
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I guess he's kinda cute.
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Anyway, I'm gonna go run lines.
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If Dana lands Juliet
opposite Andrew Gallery,
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it will for sure turn into a showmance.
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"Showmance"?
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Just because two beautiful teens
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spend hours together
rehearsing and kissing
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in the most romantic play
ever doesn't mean...
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- Oh, balls, balls!
- Yep.
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That drab auditorium might
as well be The Blue Lagoon,
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'cause young love is afoot.
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You're a foot.
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You know what?
Maybe I'll try out for Romeo.
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Then you better start
learning some Shakespeare.
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It's not exactly the
easy-breezy dialogue from ALF.
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I will get the part
and showmance with Dana
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and prove you and everyone else wrong.
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But, unfortunately, that meant this.
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"O Schmoopie-o, Schmoopie-o,
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"wherefore art thou, Schmoopie-o?"
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Mom! Enough with the Schmoopie-o's!
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Shakespeare would love the way I talk.
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You know who doesn't love the
way you guys are talking?
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- Vic and I.
- I don't mind, Mur.
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My daughter's
auditioning for that play.
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Asha? She's like five years old.
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Oh, she was... 11 years ago.
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Well, tell Asha to break a leg.
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I most certainly will not.
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The last thing I want is my sweet angel
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in some teen raunchfest.
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Raunchfest?
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That Shakespeare was a grade-A horndog.
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There's no way I'm letting
some hormonal Romeo
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smooch up my little princess.
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Don't worry about this one
landing the role. No offense.
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Offense taken, taken hard!
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Watch me perform
Romeo's death by poison.
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Ohh!
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Thy drugs are quick.
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Oh, no! Thus with a kiss, I die!
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With Mama's kiss, you live!
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No!
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If thou goest, then I go, too.
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Oh, give me that vial.
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You two mind dying in the kitchen?
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♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪
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♪ But nonetheless,
I feel the need to say ♪
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Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
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♪ I don't know the future ♪
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♪ But the past keeps getting
clearer every day ♪
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It was October
23, 1980-something,
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and Erica was crushing
college academically.
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Cheggit! I got another "A"
on my sociology midterm.
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Another perfect grade?
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00:03:01,941 --> 00:03:03,909
Your GPA is gonna look
like Fonzie on a Friday...
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00:03:03,943 --> 00:03:05,377
All "Aaays."
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00:03:05,411 --> 00:03:07,312
Yeah, I don't have time to
acknowledge how lame that was.
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Come on, let's celebrate
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by going to one of the many
fun hangs on this corkboard.
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00:03:10,917 --> 00:03:12,117
Oh, no! A lost dog?
94
00:03:12,151 --> 00:03:14,786
Snowball is fine, and so am I.
No parties.
95
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But all you do is go from
your dorm to the classroom
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and back to your dorm.
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I mean, get out there. Meet some people.
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And if you do, ask them if they've seen
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a bichon/pug mix who loves carrots.
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Whoa! Whoa! Can't stop! Can't stop!
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Can't stop!
102
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- Ugh!
- Ohh!
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Oh! I am so sorry.
104
00:03:31,404 --> 00:03:32,471
Are you okay?
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This is my first time
riding a skateboard.
106
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Yeah, well, a crowded,
public space full of strangers
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is a perfect place to start.
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Oh, here, take my sweater.
Your knee is bleeding.
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Wait. Is this cashmere?
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I don't want to ruin it
with my knee blood.
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It'll give it character.
112
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And then some cute guy
is gonna come up to me,
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and he'll be like, "Hey, you
got blood on your sweater,"
114
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and I'll be like, "You're stupid."
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And then he'll be my
boyfriend for a few weeks,
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and I will have you to thank.
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Wow. You're, like, a lot.
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Thanks! I'm Ren. It's short for Lauren.
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I'm Erica. Or Ca?
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Yeah, that doesn't work.
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Um, well, it was nice
to break your fall.
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Don't look, but there is
a guy over there
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who is majorly creeping on you.
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Oh, yeah. That creeper's my boyfriend.
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- He wants me to make a friend.
- Tell him you did.
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And just like that,
over the next few days,
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my sister's first college
friendship was born.
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Erica and Ren checked out local music.
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College bands suck.
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Oh, for sure.
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We're taking this.
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I'll bring it back
when you learn how to use it.
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Run!
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And then they hit up
the campus art scenes.
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This one is just squiggles.
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I posed nude for that.
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For real? Oh, damn!
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That's your butt!
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Yep, Erica and Ren were inseparable.
140
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Nothing could derail their friendship.
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Well, almost nothing.
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Oh, [bleep].
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00:04:39,171 --> 00:04:41,339
Ooh, are we randomly cursing? Ass!
144
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- No. It's Parents Weekend.
- I know. I'm stoked.
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Gene and Rita are taking me
somewhere fancy to eat.
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Gene and Rita? That's so informal.
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It's like you consider them people.
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Yeah, my mom's
a kickass defense attorney.
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00:04:51,317 --> 00:04:53,151
She puts bad people back on the street.
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00:04:53,185 --> 00:04:55,053
And, uh, my dad owns a couple
restaurants in the city.
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Wow, we have so much in common.
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I mean, my mom could have been a lawyer,
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and my dad owns something
he calls restaurant pants.
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I'm just so glad that my mom and dad
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aren't like those psycho parents
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that are in your face all the time.
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- Totally.
- Holy crap.
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We should all grab brunch
together this weekend.
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That is... an idea.
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Here's the thing...
They can never meet you.
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What? Why not?
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'Cause they were, um...
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- Lost at sea.
- What?
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Yeah, that's a real thing that
I just told you from my mouth.
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Oh, my God. Were they, like,
on a cruise or something?
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Yes. That makes the most sense.
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Yeah, they... They were
cruising for a bruisin'...
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And they got one.
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That must be so hard
for you and your brother.
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Cheggit! Package from Mom.
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Homemade fudgy crunch bars!
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Whoo! So fudgy in my mouth!
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How does it go down?
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So sticky!
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Sweet, sad Barry.
He just hasn't accepted it.
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That is sad.
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As Erica
leaned into her lie,
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all I cared about was beating
out Andrew Gallery
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for the lead of Romeo and Juliet.
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Dude, you're Romeo.
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I know, Dave Kim.
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Romeo kisses Juliet!
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I know, Dave Kim!
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And Dana is...
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Lady Montague?
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00:06:00,653 --> 00:06:01,753
Oh, no, Dave Kim.
187
00:06:01,787 --> 00:06:03,088
That means she's playing my...
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00:06:03,122 --> 00:06:04,136
Mom.
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00:06:04,161 --> 00:06:05,757
- I mean, it could be worse.
- Could it?
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00:06:05,791 --> 00:06:07,158
It's not like you're
playing my actual mom.
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00:06:07,193 --> 00:06:09,427
Even if you were, I've heard
my dad say more than once
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that she's a handsome lady.
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And I'll shut up.
194
00:06:12,398 --> 00:06:14,532
But if you didn't get Juliet, who did?
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There's my Romeo.
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00:06:15,901 --> 00:06:17,569
Asha? Congrats.
197
00:06:17,603 --> 00:06:19,671
Dana, you know Asha.
Asha, you know Dana.
198
00:06:19,705 --> 00:06:21,406
You guys both know each
other, so that's cool.
199
00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:22,907
Our dads sell furniture together.
200
00:06:22,942 --> 00:06:24,976
More like they avoid our moms together.
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00:06:25,011 --> 00:06:26,478
You'll make a great Juliet.
202
00:06:27,847 --> 00:06:30,882
So, I have to ask...
How'd you beat out Andrew Gallery?
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00:06:30,916 --> 00:06:33,118
If I had to guess,
pure unbridled talent.
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00:06:33,152 --> 00:06:34,219
Wrong.
205
00:06:34,253 --> 00:06:37,288
In the play, Romeo is a
confused 15-year-old.
206
00:06:37,323 --> 00:06:39,124
I thought Adam would be perfect
207
00:06:39,158 --> 00:06:42,293
because he still has
the wildly underdeveloped body
208
00:06:42,328 --> 00:06:44,462
and crude acting of a young boy.
209
00:06:44,497 --> 00:06:46,796
- You honor me.
- Mm.
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00:06:46,858 --> 00:06:47,878
And a heads-up.
211
00:06:47,902 --> 00:06:49,768
My dad's not too thrilled
about me doing this play.
212
00:06:49,769 --> 00:06:51,970
Oh, I know. But as a romantic lead,
213
00:06:52,004 --> 00:06:54,105
I'm prepared to endure
the fury of an angry father.
214
00:06:54,140 --> 00:06:55,202
You're Romeo?
215
00:06:57,843 --> 00:07:00,712
But what about your whole
thing about handsy Romeos
216
00:07:00,746 --> 00:07:02,414
smooching up your little princess?
217
00:07:03,683 --> 00:07:05,717
You understand. You're not a Romeo.
218
00:07:05,751 --> 00:07:08,186
I was literally cast as Romeo.
219
00:07:08,220 --> 00:07:10,255
I couldn't stand
that Vic and my dad
220
00:07:10,289 --> 00:07:11,856
thought I wasn't a leading man.
221
00:07:11,891 --> 00:07:13,692
Meanwhile, my sister
was leading the charge
222
00:07:13,726 --> 00:07:15,326
to protect her friendship with Ren.
223
00:07:15,361 --> 00:07:17,028
Mom and Dad can't come
to Parents Weekend.
224
00:07:17,063 --> 00:07:18,930
Absolutely not!
225
00:07:18,964 --> 00:07:20,732
Also, why not?
226
00:07:20,766 --> 00:07:22,100
If tacky, horrible Mom shows up,
227
00:07:22,134 --> 00:07:23,968
Ren will never talk to me again.
228
00:07:24,003 --> 00:07:25,837
Ha! The friendship you care about
229
00:07:25,871 --> 00:07:28,373
hinges on the paper-thin premise
you can hide Mom forever.
230
00:07:28,407 --> 00:07:29,874
This is bad for you, too.
231
00:07:29,909 --> 00:07:31,743
Do you think potential
girlfriends on this campus
232
00:07:31,777 --> 00:07:33,649
will respond well to Beverly Goldberg?
233
00:07:33,688 --> 00:07:35,213
Oh, no!
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00:07:35,247 --> 00:07:37,482
You brought it around to me,
and now I'm invested.
235
00:07:37,516 --> 00:07:38,583
What do we do?
236
00:07:38,617 --> 00:07:40,285
Parents Weekend starts Saturday.
237
00:07:40,319 --> 00:07:41,352
What if it didn't?
238
00:07:41,387 --> 00:07:42,620
Parents Thursday?
239
00:07:42,655 --> 00:07:43,855
The hell's Parents Thursday?
240
00:07:43,889 --> 00:07:46,357
Parents Thursday
replaces Parents Weekend
241
00:07:46,392 --> 00:07:48,626
due to an emergency campus renovation.
242
00:07:48,661 --> 00:07:50,295
- Is the tuition going up?
- No.
243
00:07:50,329 --> 00:07:51,996
- Suckers.
- Silver lining...
244
00:07:52,031 --> 00:07:54,466
We have a small window of time
this upcoming Thursday.
245
00:07:54,500 --> 00:07:55,900
Evening. After dark.
246
00:07:55,935 --> 00:07:57,454
- We'll make it work.
- I'm out.
247
00:07:57,488 --> 00:07:58,746
You know I don't drive after dark
248
00:07:58,771 --> 00:08:00,004
unless I like the place I'm going.
249
00:08:00,039 --> 00:08:02,107
Rats. Well, Mom, keep in mind
250
00:08:02,141 --> 00:08:03,641
that this event is super last-minute,
251
00:08:03,676 --> 00:08:05,677
so most parents won't be there.
252
00:08:05,711 --> 00:08:06,811
Lucky me.
253
00:08:06,846 --> 00:08:10,381
I get my college schmoos and
their campus all to myself.
254
00:08:10,416 --> 00:08:12,717
And with that,
Parents Thursday was a go.
255
00:08:12,752 --> 00:08:16,154
It all kicked off at the ladies'
field hockey equipment closet.
256
00:08:16,188 --> 00:08:18,599
If we had a key,
you'd see a lot of sticks.
257
00:08:18,646 --> 00:08:19,662
Moving on.
258
00:08:19,709 --> 00:08:22,896
And they did, to a sketchy burrito
joint nine miles from campus.
259
00:08:22,928 --> 00:08:23,962
We come here all the time.
260
00:08:25,598 --> 00:08:26,865
What the hell is a "kimi-conga"?
261
00:08:26,899 --> 00:08:28,767
Of course, no school tour is complete
262
00:08:28,801 --> 00:08:30,751
without a stop at the dorm
facilities room.
263
00:08:30,783 --> 00:08:32,203
I push these buttons all the time.
264
00:08:32,238 --> 00:08:34,937
Beep, boop, beep, boop.
265
00:08:34,962 --> 00:08:37,642
And the final stop of our
Parents Thursday tour,
266
00:08:37,676 --> 00:08:39,711
the majestic parking lot.
267
00:08:39,745 --> 00:08:40,945
All right, see you at Thanksgiving.
268
00:08:40,980 --> 00:08:42,614
Oh. Okay.
269
00:08:42,648 --> 00:08:46,184
Success! Erica
and Barry had pulled it off.
270
00:08:46,218 --> 00:08:47,252
Or not.
271
00:08:47,286 --> 00:08:49,587
Parents [bleep] Thursday? Really?
272
00:08:49,622 --> 00:08:50,755
- She knows.
- You know?
273
00:08:50,790 --> 00:08:52,090
Of course I know.
274
00:08:52,124 --> 00:08:53,491
Erica made me do it!
275
00:08:53,526 --> 00:08:55,246
She's the mastermind.
276
00:08:55,271 --> 00:08:57,490
Barry good. Erica bad.
277
00:08:57,552 --> 00:08:59,771
Mom, look, it's not a big deal.
278
00:08:59,805 --> 00:09:02,774
I just don't really want you here.
You get it.
279
00:09:04,376 --> 00:09:06,110
I guess I do.
280
00:09:06,145 --> 00:09:07,212
I accept it.
281
00:09:07,246 --> 00:09:09,948
What? But you never just accept it.
282
00:09:09,982 --> 00:09:11,449
Good evening, gentle daughter.
283
00:09:11,483 --> 00:09:13,451
No, don't be cordial.
284
00:09:13,485 --> 00:09:15,820
What's your next move, lady?
I need to know!
285
00:09:15,855 --> 00:09:18,790
Oh, no, this is terrible!
She has my burrito in her car!
286
00:09:18,824 --> 00:09:20,491
Erica knew
something was up with my mom.
287
00:09:20,526 --> 00:09:24,362
Meanwhile, Romeo's big kiss with
Juliet was about to go down.
288
00:09:24,396 --> 00:09:27,799
Saints do not move, though
grant for prayers' sake.
289
00:09:27,833 --> 00:09:30,835
Then move not,
while my prayer's effect...
290
00:09:30,870 --> 00:09:32,170
I take.
291
00:09:33,439 --> 00:09:36,341
My kiss with Asha
got a little hot and heavy.
292
00:09:36,375 --> 00:09:37,842
Okay, a lot.
293
00:09:37,877 --> 00:09:39,611
And I wasn't the only one
who felt that way.
294
00:09:39,645 --> 00:09:40,678
Damn!
295
00:09:40,713 --> 00:09:42,313
Okay! All right! All right! No more!
296
00:09:42,348 --> 00:09:43,514
That's enough. That's enough.
297
00:09:43,549 --> 00:09:45,483
Adam, I knew you were the right choice,
298
00:09:45,517 --> 00:09:48,052
because that was sensuous.
299
00:09:48,087 --> 00:09:49,153
Thanks, I think.
300
00:09:49,188 --> 00:09:50,622
We're children, so it's a little weird.
301
00:09:50,656 --> 00:09:52,857
It was spicy, like a Cuban night.
302
00:09:52,892 --> 00:09:54,025
That's not much better.
303
00:09:54,059 --> 00:09:56,227
I mean, it's like I just
came out of a Turkish sauna!
304
00:09:56,262 --> 00:09:58,396
Uh, would you mind if we
took that from the top?
305
00:09:58,430 --> 00:09:59,898
I'd love another shot.
306
00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:01,633
Or we could just move on, maybe.
307
00:10:01,667 --> 00:10:03,001
That's a good idea, Lady Montague.
308
00:10:03,035 --> 00:10:04,502
Let's take ten and regroup.
309
00:10:04,536 --> 00:10:07,205
I need to air out
my directing scarf. Whoo!
310
00:10:07,239 --> 00:10:09,941
Dude, this is better than
you could have ever imagined.
311
00:10:09,975 --> 00:10:11,509
All the kissing's making Dana crazy,
312
00:10:11,543 --> 00:10:13,278
and Asha's clearly into you now, too.
313
00:10:13,312 --> 00:10:15,580
- You think Asha's into me?
- Have you seen her notebook?
314
00:10:15,614 --> 00:10:17,916
- It's got "AG" written all over it.
- I'm "AG."
315
00:10:17,950 --> 00:10:19,417
I only signed up for this play
316
00:10:19,451 --> 00:10:21,452
to stop Dana from kissing
that handsome douche,
317
00:10:21,487 --> 00:10:23,354
and now I'm the handsome douche.
318
00:10:23,389 --> 00:10:25,823
You're gonna be
a theater department legend,
319
00:10:25,858 --> 00:10:26,925
right up there with that guy
320
00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:28,526
who freed all the cats during Cats,
321
00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:29,994
and then they couldn't
catch all the cats,
322
00:10:30,029 --> 00:10:31,362
so now we can't do Cats anymore.
323
00:10:31,397 --> 00:10:33,698
Take that, Vic and Dad. I am a threat.
324
00:10:33,732 --> 00:10:36,801
Hey, Susie. I just popped
by to pick up Asha.
325
00:10:36,835 --> 00:10:38,269
How's the play going?
326
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:41,105
Well, let's just say
that Romeo and Juliet
327
00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:43,942
are taking advantage of their
very palpable chemistry.
328
00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:46,311
- Palpable?
- I know. Seems unlikely.
329
00:10:46,345 --> 00:10:48,112
Asha and Goldberg's kid?
330
00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:49,847
Let's just say when I closed
my eyes and opened them,
331
00:10:49,882 --> 00:10:52,617
I was in Verona, and true
love was in the air.
332
00:10:52,651 --> 00:10:53,751
Nuh-uh!
333
00:10:53,786 --> 00:10:58,939
Asha's involvement in this
burlesque show is a big no!
334
00:11:00,471 --> 00:11:01,611
Oh, boy.
335
00:11:02,234 --> 00:11:04,801
After finding out about
our hot and heavy rehearsal,
336
00:11:04,872 --> 00:11:06,926
Vic was living out his own tragedy.
337
00:11:06,965 --> 00:11:10,676
So, it's been brought to my
attention that Ms. Cinoman
338
00:11:10,711 --> 00:11:15,552
has decided to put on an R-rated
version of Romeo and Juliet.
339
00:11:15,584 --> 00:11:16,984
It's just a kiss.
340
00:11:17,019 --> 00:11:18,586
That is not how you described it.
341
00:11:18,620 --> 00:11:21,989
The heat around them
made the air buckle.
342
00:11:22,024 --> 00:11:24,258
See? Teenage air-buckling and whatnot.
343
00:11:24,293 --> 00:11:25,359
Whatnot!
344
00:11:25,394 --> 00:11:26,694
Excuse me. Why am I here?
345
00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:29,864
Because your child is a
wolf in sheep's clothing.
346
00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:31,499
Cinoman confirmed.
347
00:11:31,533 --> 00:11:33,901
- Turbulent blood did fill my heart.
- Damn it, Mur.
348
00:11:33,936 --> 00:11:36,170
You agreed your son wasn't a threat.
349
00:11:36,204 --> 00:11:40,841
We even shared a chuckle about
how wildly unmasculine he is.
350
00:11:40,876 --> 00:11:43,256
Well, maybe the problem isn't my son.
351
00:11:43,303 --> 00:11:44,312
It's your daughter.
352
00:11:44,346 --> 00:11:46,480
Asha was attacked
by that four-eyed dorkus.
353
00:11:46,515 --> 00:11:48,215
Whoa! "Dorkus"?
354
00:11:48,250 --> 00:11:49,483
Oh, you heard me.
355
00:11:49,518 --> 00:11:51,586
The kid is a doof.
356
00:11:51,620 --> 00:11:53,487
I should really jump in here,
357
00:11:53,522 --> 00:11:55,389
or just see where this is going.
358
00:11:55,424 --> 00:11:58,793
I forbid your son from
stage-Frenching my daughter!
359
00:11:58,827 --> 00:12:02,597
I forbid your daughter
from stage-Frenching my son!
360
00:12:02,631 --> 00:12:05,633
Is anyone else picking up on
the irony of this situation?
361
00:12:05,667 --> 00:12:08,669
Rival families torn apart
by their children's love.
362
00:12:08,704 --> 00:12:10,771
Just say the words, Susan.
363
00:12:10,806 --> 00:12:12,840
This is Romeo and Juliet.
364
00:12:12,874 --> 00:12:15,376
- Nobody's ever heard of that show.
- What are you even talking about?
365
00:12:15,410 --> 00:12:18,245
I demand you cancel the
play, Principal Bald.
366
00:12:18,280 --> 00:12:19,614
It's Ball.
367
00:12:19,648 --> 00:12:20,982
And I would if I could,
368
00:12:21,016 --> 00:12:24,085
but the community-service kids
are already painting sets.
369
00:12:24,119 --> 00:12:27,488
Then I demand you remove
all the romance kissing
370
00:12:27,522 --> 00:12:29,056
and... and... and randy language.
371
00:12:29,091 --> 00:12:30,324
I could do that.
372
00:12:30,359 --> 00:12:32,727
Earl! You can't rewrite Shakespeare!
373
00:12:32,761 --> 00:12:35,696
One would think, but look at me go.
374
00:12:35,731 --> 00:12:37,031
Bye-bye, that bit.
375
00:12:37,065 --> 00:12:38,899
Please. Now they're
just star-crossed pals?
376
00:12:38,934 --> 00:12:42,803
Let's play it safe and make 'em
star-crossed business colleagues.
377
00:12:42,838 --> 00:12:45,406
And so it would be a
romance-free Romeo and Juliet.
378
00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:47,942
Meanwhile, my sister knew
my mom wouldn't let her free
379
00:12:47,976 --> 00:12:49,477
on Parents Weekend that easily.
380
00:12:49,511 --> 00:12:51,946
Okay, if I make this, I live forever
381
00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:54,515
and Dian Parkinson
from The Price is Right
382
00:12:54,549 --> 00:12:55,783
becomes my live-in girlfriend.
383
00:12:56,752 --> 00:12:58,019
Aw! Doesn't count!
384
00:12:58,053 --> 00:12:59,253
Will you shut up?
385
00:12:59,287 --> 00:13:00,588
Okay, shouldn't you be celebrating?
386
00:13:00,622 --> 00:13:02,156
You don't have to spend
the weekend with Mom.
387
00:13:02,190 --> 00:13:05,292
No! You think that she's just
gonna let Parents Thursday go?
388
00:13:05,327 --> 00:13:07,094
She's coming for me. She's coming hard.
389
00:13:07,129 --> 00:13:08,763
It's your mama!
390
00:13:08,797 --> 00:13:10,031
Lady Vengeance has come.
391
00:13:10,065 --> 00:13:11,666
Oh, no. Your dread was justified.
392
00:13:11,700 --> 00:13:13,868
Happy Parents Weekend.
393
00:13:13,902 --> 00:13:15,302
Erica said you were upset,
394
00:13:15,337 --> 00:13:17,705
but your wrapped gifts
and cheery tone say otherwise.
395
00:13:17,739 --> 00:13:19,507
Not buying it. What's your game, Mom?
396
00:13:19,541 --> 00:13:22,376
I am a mom, strange girl,
just not yours.
397
00:13:22,411 --> 00:13:24,445
She's pretending to not be
your mom to get back at you.
398
00:13:24,479 --> 00:13:26,180
- Yeah, thanks, Geoff. Good add.
- Uh-huh.
399
00:13:26,214 --> 00:13:28,315
I'm just here to celebrate
Parents Weekend
400
00:13:28,350 --> 00:13:31,352
with my one child
who attends this university.
401
00:13:31,386 --> 00:13:33,988
She's wearing a sweater that's
so sparkly and vindictive.
402
00:13:34,022 --> 00:13:36,123
Why are you just saying the
things we can all see?
403
00:13:36,158 --> 00:13:38,859
And you should know that
I'm not done by a long shot.
404
00:13:38,894 --> 00:13:41,929
Whatever. Your lame attempt
to divide us won't work.
405
00:13:41,963 --> 00:13:44,331
The sibling bond is stronger than any...
406
00:13:44,366 --> 00:13:45,633
What the hell, dude?
407
00:13:45,667 --> 00:13:48,035
Sorry, strange girl, but material goods
408
00:13:48,070 --> 00:13:50,004
and homemade treats have won me over.
409
00:13:50,038 --> 00:13:51,338
These have peanut butter!
410
00:13:51,373 --> 00:13:52,589
And butterscotch.
411
00:13:52,636 --> 00:13:55,081
Who's ready to be spoiled by Mama?
412
00:13:55,128 --> 00:13:56,510
Me.
413
00:13:56,545 --> 00:13:58,546
Just know, no matter how hard you try,
414
00:13:58,580 --> 00:14:00,347
you will never make me jealous.
415
00:14:00,382 --> 00:14:01,816
And try my mom did.
416
00:14:01,850 --> 00:14:04,885
Look! Mom foolishly
got me a bank account.
417
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:06,987
Mom got me more fancy horse shirts
418
00:14:07,022 --> 00:14:08,355
than one boy could ever need.
419
00:14:08,390 --> 00:14:10,524
Mom got me a semester's
worth of frozen pizza.
420
00:14:10,559 --> 00:14:12,259
And the gifts only got
bigger from there.
421
00:14:12,294 --> 00:14:14,395
Oh, Parents Weekend is the best.
422
00:14:14,429 --> 00:14:15,830
I got a pinball machine
423
00:14:15,864 --> 00:14:17,832
that makes it nearly
impossible to open my closet.
424
00:14:17,866 --> 00:14:20,201
Your feeble attempt to make me feel bad
425
00:14:20,235 --> 00:14:21,936
is sad and will bankrupt your husband.
426
00:14:21,970 --> 00:14:23,204
Do you hear something, Barry,
427
00:14:23,238 --> 00:14:25,239
something squeaky and unappreciative?
428
00:14:25,273 --> 00:14:26,841
That was Erica. She's there.
429
00:14:26,875 --> 00:14:28,209
And you know what else?
430
00:14:28,243 --> 00:14:30,111
I'm hanging out with my new friend Ren,
431
00:14:30,145 --> 00:14:32,480
who has cool, not-crazy parents.
432
00:14:32,514 --> 00:14:34,048
Stupid family-sized fridge.
433
00:14:34,082 --> 00:14:36,650
Okay, people, please
refer to the changes
434
00:14:36,685 --> 00:14:41,055
in Romeo and Juliet: A Tale
of Platonic Office Associates.
435
00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:42,256
But soft!
436
00:14:42,290 --> 00:14:44,625
What light through yonder window breaks?
437
00:14:44,659 --> 00:14:48,529
It is the east, and my... pal
from accounting is the sun.
438
00:14:48,563 --> 00:14:52,566
Parting with my bud over in H.R.
is such sweet sorrow,
439
00:14:52,601 --> 00:14:56,348
that I shall say good night
till it be morrow... bud.
440
00:14:59,775 --> 00:15:01,408
What do they even do at this office?
441
00:15:01,443 --> 00:15:02,710
General business.
442
00:15:02,744 --> 00:15:04,512
Now, stop asking questions
443
00:15:04,546 --> 00:15:06,881
and start stealing Tybalt's
yogurt from the break room.
444
00:15:06,915 --> 00:15:08,382
I'm too handsome for this.
445
00:15:08,416 --> 00:15:09,517
- I'm out.
- No!
446
00:15:09,551 --> 00:15:11,786
We can't lose our Mercutio,
the mid-level executive!
447
00:15:11,820 --> 00:15:13,415
Yeah, I quit, too.
448
00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:14,907
My showmance
was slipping away.
449
00:15:14,931 --> 00:15:16,056
I had to do something.
450
00:15:16,081 --> 00:15:17,591
Asha, wait.
451
00:15:17,626 --> 00:15:19,927
I'm really sorry about how
our dads ruined Shakespeare.
452
00:15:19,961 --> 00:15:21,595
Yeah, they're the worst.
453
00:15:21,630 --> 00:15:23,798
- But I still think you should do it.
- What's the point?
454
00:15:23,832 --> 00:15:25,466
Well, even though they cut our kiss,
455
00:15:25,500 --> 00:15:27,601
we can still share...
456
00:15:27,636 --> 00:15:28,702
Whatever this is.
457
00:15:28,737 --> 00:15:29,758
This?
458
00:15:30,338 --> 00:15:31,405
Our chemistry.
459
00:15:31,439 --> 00:15:34,074
Wait. Wait. Wait.
Do you think I'm into you?
460
00:15:34,109 --> 00:15:35,576
- You're not?
- No.
461
00:15:35,610 --> 00:15:37,478
But you wrote "AG"
all over your notebook.
462
00:15:38,013 --> 00:15:39,213
Andrew Gallery?
463
00:15:39,247 --> 00:15:42,283
Huh. I guess I'm not the only
person with my initials.
464
00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:44,518
I'm so sorry, Adam.
465
00:15:44,553 --> 00:15:46,187
And then it got even worse.
466
00:15:46,221 --> 00:15:48,622
Hey! Guess who's your new Juliet.
467
00:15:48,657 --> 00:15:50,224
Oh, cool.
468
00:15:51,259 --> 00:15:53,427
Oh, I thought you'd be more excited.
469
00:15:53,461 --> 00:15:55,296
I'm sorry. I'm just... Forget it.
470
00:15:55,330 --> 00:15:56,897
It's about someone else.
471
00:15:56,932 --> 00:15:59,967
Yeah. I'm getting that feeling.
472
00:16:00,001 --> 00:16:02,303
While both of my showmances
quickly fell apart,
473
00:16:02,337 --> 00:16:05,172
my mom was still determined to
break Erica on Parents Weekend.
474
00:16:05,207 --> 00:16:07,975
Excuse me, random coeds.
Are these seats taken?
475
00:16:08,009 --> 00:16:10,211
Oh, God. Yes. They're very much taken.
476
00:16:10,245 --> 00:16:12,413
I'm sorry. My... My parents are coming.
477
00:16:12,447 --> 00:16:14,715
Oh, that's fine. We'll just
sit here until they arrive.
478
00:16:14,749 --> 00:16:16,116
Barry, over here.
479
00:16:16,151 --> 00:16:17,484
Wait. Isn't that your brother?
480
00:16:17,519 --> 00:16:19,620
Is it? No, I think I would know.
481
00:16:19,654 --> 00:16:21,088
I told Mom where you were.
482
00:16:21,122 --> 00:16:22,857
She bought me a snowmobile.
483
00:16:22,891 --> 00:16:25,492
I'm sorry. I am so confused.
484
00:16:25,527 --> 00:16:27,194
It's a vehicle you drive on snow.
485
00:16:27,229 --> 00:16:28,796
It's right there in the name.
486
00:16:28,830 --> 00:16:30,464
Uh, no. This is your mom?
487
00:16:30,498 --> 00:16:32,499
I-I thought you were lost at sea.
488
00:16:32,534 --> 00:16:34,735
I'm lost at sea?
489
00:16:34,769 --> 00:16:36,570
Yes, because it's better
than the truth...
490
00:16:36,605 --> 00:16:39,373
That you're a crazy person
intent on ruining my life.
491
00:16:39,407 --> 00:16:41,842
Wow. You'd rather have my lifeless body
492
00:16:41,877 --> 00:16:42,977
bobbing in the ocean
493
00:16:43,011 --> 00:16:45,779
than spend one lousy day
with me at your college?
494
00:16:45,814 --> 00:16:47,214
Let's go, Barry.
495
00:16:48,516 --> 00:16:51,185
Mom, is my burrito
still in your car?
496
00:16:51,219 --> 00:16:52,353
I'm sorry about that.
497
00:16:52,387 --> 00:16:55,456
My mom is just always on top of me.
498
00:16:55,490 --> 00:16:58,592
With the visits and constant
attention, it's too much.
499
00:16:58,627 --> 00:17:01,462
Well, my parents aren't even here.
500
00:17:01,496 --> 00:17:03,831
At least you get along,
and, you know, they're cool.
501
00:17:03,865 --> 00:17:07,201
So cool they forgot to even show up.
502
00:17:07,235 --> 00:17:08,535
Wait. They're not coming?
503
00:17:08,570 --> 00:17:10,137
This happens all the time
504
00:17:10,171 --> 00:17:13,707
'cause funny thing is
that they don't care.
505
00:17:13,742 --> 00:17:16,675
But clearly your mom does.
506
00:17:16,700 --> 00:17:18,746
I don't think you know
how good you have it.
507
00:17:25,865 --> 00:17:27,709
After being
driven away by Erica,
508
00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:30,577
my mom was wrapping up the
worst Parents Weekend ever.
509
00:17:30,664 --> 00:17:32,364
Pinball! Pinball! Pinball!
510
00:17:32,399 --> 00:17:33,899
Pinball! Pinball! Yes!
511
00:17:33,933 --> 00:17:36,368
Barry! It's a lot.
512
00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:38,941
I know. I almost broke my
high score from this morning.
513
00:17:40,406 --> 00:17:41,940
Oh, don't worry. I'm just leaving.
514
00:17:41,975 --> 00:17:45,169
- Mom, stay.
- Pinball! Pinball! Yes!
515
00:17:45,211 --> 00:17:48,147
I never should've made up
Parents Thursday.
516
00:17:48,181 --> 00:17:51,183
Not to mention the whole
"lost at sea" thing.
517
00:17:51,217 --> 00:17:52,985
That was a nice touch.
518
00:17:53,019 --> 00:17:55,654
Look, it took me a long time to
make my first college friend,
519
00:17:55,689 --> 00:17:57,358
and I was worried you'd scare her off.
520
00:17:58,224 --> 00:17:59,491
Scare her off?
521
00:17:59,526 --> 00:18:01,978
You can be... overwhelming.
522
00:18:02,003 --> 00:18:03,362
Pinball! Pinball! Pinball! Yes!
523
00:18:03,396 --> 00:18:05,898
- Damn it, Barry.
- I'm taking the pinball away.
524
00:18:05,932 --> 00:18:08,634
I know, but you not
wanting me in your life
525
00:18:08,668 --> 00:18:11,003
is the worst pain a mama can have.
526
00:18:11,037 --> 00:18:12,972
I'm sorry.
527
00:18:13,006 --> 00:18:16,208
And the truth is,
I love how much you care,
528
00:18:16,242 --> 00:18:18,410
even if sometimes it's a lot.
529
00:18:18,445 --> 00:18:19,478
Really?
530
00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:21,313
More than you know.
531
00:18:22,582 --> 00:18:25,084
So, Parents Weekend isn't over.
532
00:18:25,118 --> 00:18:27,886
Maybe you want to grab dinner
with me and my new friend Ren?
533
00:18:28,655 --> 00:18:30,522
That would be perfect.
534
00:18:32,225 --> 00:18:33,525
It's easy to be scared
535
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:35,694
of pushing someone new
in your life away.
536
00:18:35,719 --> 00:18:38,264
But then you remember
the people closest to you
537
00:18:38,289 --> 00:18:39,505
will always back you up.
538
00:18:39,530 --> 00:18:42,901
Hey, uh, shouldn't you be putting
on the tights or whatever?
539
00:18:42,936 --> 00:18:44,670
I'm not doing the dumb play.
540
00:18:44,704 --> 00:18:47,306
- Why not?
- Asha was just using me.
541
00:18:47,340 --> 00:18:49,775
Then I screwed up with Dana.
Now I got nothing.
542
00:18:52,979 --> 00:18:55,114
You know, I read this thing.
543
00:18:55,148 --> 00:18:57,216
You read Romeo and Juliet?
544
00:18:57,250 --> 00:18:59,785
There's only one difference
between you and Romeo.
545
00:18:59,819 --> 00:19:01,720
He had his heart set on one girl.
546
00:19:01,755 --> 00:19:04,023
I guess I did get
a little carried away.
547
00:19:04,057 --> 00:19:06,425
Yeah. Young love is difficult.
548
00:19:06,459 --> 00:19:07,726
Totally.
549
00:19:07,761 --> 00:19:10,095
If you stay patient,
you'll meet your Juliet.
550
00:19:12,065 --> 00:19:13,032
Thanks, Dad.
551
00:19:13,967 --> 00:19:15,734
Also, I talked to Principal Ball.
552
00:19:15,769 --> 00:19:18,237
He's gonna let the play go back
to the original Shakespeare.
553
00:19:18,271 --> 00:19:19,972
You did that? Why?
554
00:19:20,006 --> 00:19:23,308
Because my son is starring as Romeo,
555
00:19:23,343 --> 00:19:25,444
and I wouldn't miss that for anything.
556
00:19:27,414 --> 00:19:29,131
That night,
my dad convinced me
557
00:19:29,155 --> 00:19:30,325
I could be a leading man.
558
00:19:30,350 --> 00:19:33,118
I just had to remember why
I did this in the first place.
559
00:19:33,153 --> 00:19:34,453
Hey.
560
00:19:34,487 --> 00:19:35,854
Hey.
561
00:19:37,357 --> 00:19:38,991
Look, I'm sorry.
562
00:19:39,025 --> 00:19:41,393
I didn't mean to make you
feel like some runner-up.
563
00:19:41,428 --> 00:19:43,128
Whatever. I get it.
564
00:19:43,163 --> 00:19:45,164
The truth is, I only
tried out for the play
565
00:19:45,198 --> 00:19:46,832
so you wouldn't end up
with Andrew Gallery.
566
00:19:47,534 --> 00:19:48,567
Really?
567
00:19:48,601 --> 00:19:50,135
It's stupid, I know.
568
00:19:50,170 --> 00:19:52,204
No, it's sweet.
569
00:19:52,238 --> 00:19:53,505
And if we're being honest,
570
00:19:53,540 --> 00:19:56,508
seeing you kiss Asha made me
extra bummed I wasn't Juliet.
571
00:19:57,744 --> 00:19:59,411
All right, places!
Places, everyone! Come on!
572
00:19:59,446 --> 00:20:02,181
Oh, crap! We're not in business casual?
573
00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:05,773
Guess I'll see you out there.
574
00:20:05,845 --> 00:20:07,358
- Break a leg.
- You too.
575
00:20:07,428 --> 00:20:09,740
Life has a funny
way of bringing familiar faces
576
00:20:09,765 --> 00:20:12,319
back into our lives
right when we need it most.
577
00:20:12,344 --> 00:20:13,951
And then there's those new faces
578
00:20:13,976 --> 00:20:15,709
who can help make our lives complete.
579
00:20:17,058 --> 00:20:19,726
I'd waited three long years
to kiss Dana again.
580
00:20:19,751 --> 00:20:22,622
If we were meant to be,
this moment would say it all.
581
00:20:24,924 --> 00:20:27,414
And I didn't feel anything.
582
00:20:27,479 --> 00:20:28,579
Oof.
583
00:20:28,621 --> 00:20:30,180
That's a swing and a miss.
584
00:20:30,205 --> 00:20:31,555
Shakespeare was right.
585
00:20:31,597 --> 00:20:34,353
Young love is totally complicated.
586
00:20:34,460 --> 00:20:37,431
And I was a long way
from figuring it out.
587
00:20:44,836 --> 00:20:46,967
_
588
00:20:47,048 --> 00:20:49,131
Then I defy you, stars!
589
00:20:49,213 --> 00:20:51,347
Thus with a kiss...
590
00:20:56,477 --> 00:20:58,563
- Gah!
- I'm here to apologize
591
00:20:58,626 --> 00:21:01,047
I may have said some
untoward things about you.
592
00:21:01,133 --> 00:21:04,496
Being a goober, a spaz,
a weenie, a total buttweed.
593
00:21:04,543 --> 00:21:05,910
Yeah. I don't need a whole recap.
594
00:21:05,944 --> 00:21:08,713
I also said that your flimsy,
unformed child body
595
00:21:08,747 --> 00:21:11,382
was not only shapeless,
but weak and gross.
596
00:21:11,416 --> 00:21:12,550
I kinda have to get to class.
597
00:21:12,584 --> 00:21:15,553
Additionally, I spoke of
your manly prowess as a joke.
598
00:21:15,587 --> 00:21:16,954
You know who you should really meet?
599
00:21:16,988 --> 00:21:18,255
Asha! Andrew!
600
00:21:19,691 --> 00:21:22,105
Well, who in the hell
is this smiling simpleton?
601
00:21:22,130 --> 00:21:23,831
Okay, then. You three have fun.
602
00:21:24,963 --> 00:21:29,963
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com