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Back in the '80s, before Kickstarter,
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the best way to raise money
for charity was telethons.
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These marathon sessions of
entertainment had it all.
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00:00:07,766 --> 00:00:10,528
From top-tier talent to tuxedoed hosts.
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00:00:10,605 --> 00:00:12,198
So when Erica's friend Ren
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decided she wanted
to raise money for Earth Day,
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- she knew exactly how.
- Bandit. Dance, Bandit!
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This dog ballerina is transcendent!
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My mom still can't get Rugby
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to pee outside.
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Damn. How long can she stand
up on her paws like that?
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Well, considering I have to fill
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another 36 hours of this
telethon, I'm hoping 19 hours.
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And they're done. So, what's next?
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I don't know, Geoff.
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Do you have any special talent
besides asking stupid questions?
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Well, I guess I'm
easily hurt by insults.
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So that's a no. Thank you for your help.
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Wow. Ren seems pretty stressed
about the whole Earth Day thing.
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She shouldn't be. 'Cause Barry's
here, and the environment is clear!
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That literally makes no sense.
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Plus, it's well-established that
you are no friend of this planet.
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I saw you huck a Mountain Dew
bottle into the woods.
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Which then became
a beaver's tool or weapon!
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Are you on the beaver's side or not?
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Who's the beaver's enemy?
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Chipmunks. Wolves. Coyotes.
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Foxes. Gators. Bigger beavers.
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Just tell me why you're doing this.
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To win Ren's heart.
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And all the other good parts.
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Ugh! How many times
do I have to say this?
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Just stay away from my friends!
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Tell them to stay away from me!
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- She kissed me twice!
- On spring break!
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That is the one time a year
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that you are allowed
to make horrible mistakes
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because of heatstroke
and slushy rum drinks.
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We connected.
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Then our lips connected!
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We're obviously meant to be.
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Have you guys even spoken
since those kisses?
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Not with words, but with fleeting
looks and playful smiles.
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- So no.
- Amazing news!
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I got Ed Begley Jr.
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Dr. Victor Ehrlich from the NBC
medical drama St. Elsewhere?
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I guess. He's also a well-known
environmentalist and oddball.
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He's bringing his recumbent bike!
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Big deal. I can do a
wheelie on a ten-speed.
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Okay, I've locked down another hour,
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and I've only got 30 more to go.
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- Seems like a lot.
- So much. I'm in real trouble.
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- But Ed Begley Jr.!
- Am I crazy,
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or do good things
happen when we're together?
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Let's celebrate with a
soulful, lingering hug.
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- Or a platonic group one.
- Yes!
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My family did one every
morning before school
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- to kick-start my day.
- Ah!
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- What?
- I got to go.
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No, this warm body wasn't meant for you!
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Get off me!
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♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪
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♪ But nonetheless,
I feel the need to say ♪
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Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
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♪ I don't know the future ♪
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♪ But the past keeps getting
clearer every day ♪
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It was April 22nd, 1980-something,
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and my dad and Bill were enjoying
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the two things they loved most...
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Sports and chicken.
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Another chicken wing, Bill?
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Mur, I am stuffed to the gills.
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But I can't say no.
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Eating from a helmet is just too fun.
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Yeah, it is. It's almost like
you're in the game.
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What game?
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All you two do is sit around
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and get ranch dressing
inside the remote.
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Spicy drumstick?
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Have you guys ever had
a real conversation?
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You're supposed to be best friends.
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Best friends who don't yakety-yak
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and try and get below the surface.
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- Spicy drumstick?
- Fine.
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Get a load of these two lovebirds.
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One stick of chewing gum,
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and they're out on a lake
and having fun.
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Twins creep me out.
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It's not what God intended,
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but it's nice
that they found each other.
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Heck, I'm thinking it might be time
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for me to find someone myself.
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Bill, did I hear you right?
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Are you really ready to be set up?
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Where did you come from?
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I didn't even know
you were in the house.
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I suppose it might be time
to jump back on the old horse.
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As long as the horse is a
lady and not too broken-down.
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Ohh, this is the best news!
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Oh, you're finally over your wife,
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and your heart is open to love.
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Sure, it's that.
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And recently, my appendix broke
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and I couldn't find anyone
to take me to the hospital
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- for three days.
- You know you can call.
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I don't like to bother.
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Your remarkable tale of survival
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is gonna have a happy ending
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because Beverly Goldberg is on the case,
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and my Yenta-dex
is ready to find you love.
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Let's do it.
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It's time for Bill
to flex his love muscle.
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Oh, I'm sorry.
That was unnecessarily visual.
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And so my mom went to work.
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Great news, Bill.
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Female loneliness
is at an all-time high.
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Oh, [Bleep] no.
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It was Jane Bales...
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The only Yenta in town Yenta enough
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to go toe-to-toe with my Yenta mom.
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Hello, Beverly.
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Bill, please tell me
you're not so desperate
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for human companionship
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that you'd hitch your cart
to this old pack mule.
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We're not romantically entwined.
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Jane's here to help set me up, too.
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- What's that, now?
- Word travels fast
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when you harass every available
lady in Montgomery County.
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I figured the more Yentas, the merrier.
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You figured wrong.
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Jane couldn't set up mac with cheese.
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I put cornflakes and lobster in mine,
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and it'll make your tongue cry.
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Ever set up a rabbi with a geisha?
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I have. Twice.
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Once, I set up a man in a wheelchair
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with the woman who ran him down.
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I was once attacked by a mountain man
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on a hike who spoke only in grunts.
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After I got to safety,
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I set him up with
a patent attorney from Boston.
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That's how good I am.
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- Maybe work together?
- Opposite!
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We are gonna go toe-to-toe
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in a no-holds-barred Yenta cage match.
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Winner take all!
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A classic Yenta-Off. I'm in.
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I just wanted someone to
eat a meal with, but okay.
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Let's do this thing
where you go to lady war.
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As my mom and Jane were matchmaking,
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Barry was trying to forge
a match of his own.
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It's super simple. All you have
to do is take down their name,
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info, and how much
they'd like to pledge.
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And don't forget the
"please" and "thank you."
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Also, I like to add a
little "whoo-whoo-whoo!"
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if they pledge more than $50.
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I got this.
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Go for Barry.
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Yes, this is Earth Day Headquarters.
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Who's this? Myron?
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That's a brutal name.
Do your parents hate you?
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Also, please and thank you.
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Hello?
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Yeah, Bar, I think you might be
suited for a more important role
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in the Earth Day celebration...
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As a producer.
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I like the sound of that!
It's so vague and powerful.
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So, I need you to produce
some sweat towels
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for our ventriloquist on a unicycle.
Thanks so much.
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Damn it! How do I get Ren's attention?
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You don't, 'cause she's super busy.
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I know. She's running this whole thing.
We're both alphas.
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We have everything in common.
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So just stop trying so hard
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and just be the great guy
we all know and love.
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- Matt Bradley?
- You!
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Right. That was my plan,
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but Ren is so caught up
in saving the stupid planet.
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What about things that matter... Me?
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Well, if you want to win Ren's heart,
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then just bring her a cheesesteak
from Geno's. It's her favorite.
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That's so much easier
than telling her nice things
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or asking her about herself.
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I am so proud of you.
That was very mature and...
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Oh, no! You have an evil
smile 'cause Ren's a vegetarian!
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One whiff of that greasy meat pile
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and she will never want to
talk to Barry ever again.
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I will find someone
to scratch your itch.
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Just get onstage. Thanks.
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But he made a commitment!
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Damn it!
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- Good news?
- Ed Begley Jr. is not coming!
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His corn-powered three-wheeled
car broke down.
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I think I have just the thing
to turn that frown upside down.
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- What is that?
- It's sliced beef
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smothered in cheese and onions,
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all tucked sloppily in
a meat-juice drenched bun.
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Oh, that is absolutely vile.
Please get that away from me.
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But I had them top it with some
pig cracklin's for crunch.
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I... That needs to get out of here.
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As Barry looked for a way in with Ren,
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my mom had a plan
to get Bill out on the town.
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All right. Take me to your lady
garden so I can pluck a flower.
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Bad start. I-I just want to meet a gal.
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And meet a gal you shall.
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I have over 300 beautiful
bachelorettes for your perusing.
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00:06:33,117 --> 00:06:35,319
300 women? That's more than
I've met in my whole life.
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But don't mistake quantity for quality.
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Lucky for you, I am here
to turn Beverly's misses
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into your missus.
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00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:44,795
Oof!
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00:06:44,829 --> 00:06:47,664
Please give a warm welcome
to Janice Crowley.
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00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:50,467
What a beautiful name!
She's my number-one gal.
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And is that a witch's wart?
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00:06:53,004 --> 00:06:55,439
That is a mole, and we're
keeping an eye on it.
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How could you not? It's smack-dab
in the middle of her nose.
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But beggars can't be choosers.
Where does she live?
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00:07:00,645 --> 00:07:04,650
Bill, there is no need to settle
on this hag from Beverly's coven.
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Bachelorette number two.
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00:07:06,551 --> 00:07:10,287
Get ready to pop the question
to Jenkintown's newest retiree,
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00:07:10,321 --> 00:07:11,788
Gladys Finklebaum.
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00:07:11,823 --> 00:07:14,224
Kinda looks like my mom,
but hey, I'm down to clown.
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00:07:14,292 --> 00:07:16,827
The question I'd like to pop is,
how old is that biddy?
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Okay, fine. How about someone
who's brimming with life?
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Welcome Tiffany D'Amber.
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00:07:21,533 --> 00:07:23,000
Whoa! She's quite youthful.
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Maybe too youthful.
Is that a jump rope in her hands?
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You seem off your game, Beverly.
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There's just not a lot of
gold out there at the moment.
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And yet there is.
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I brought just one candidate,
the perfect one.
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Sweet Snow White,
she's pretty as a princess!
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Dolores is even better than a
Disney princess... She's real.
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That's my number-one criteria.
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There's gotta be
something wrong with her.
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What is she, uh, splotchy? Blotchy?
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Rashy? Acne-d? Stinky? No pinkies?
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None of those are deal breakers!
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She's normal and sweet and kind
and right outside that door.
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She's been waiting
outside this whole time?
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That's how confident I am.
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Va-va-va-voom!
It's the woman from the picture!
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00:08:02,507 --> 00:08:04,274
Hi, Bill. I'm Dolores.
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00:08:04,342 --> 00:08:06,209
Hi, Bill. I'm also Dolores. Oh!
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00:08:06,244 --> 00:08:08,378
I'm as nervous as a June bride.
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00:08:08,413 --> 00:08:10,781
Would you like to grab some
coffee or a lifetime of memories?
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00:08:10,848 --> 00:08:11,848
Coffee sounds fun.
248
00:08:11,883 --> 00:08:13,116
Nice work, Jane!
249
00:08:13,184 --> 00:08:15,085
Dolores!
250
00:08:15,119 --> 00:08:17,588
How could you bring that
woman into my home,
251
00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:19,256
where my children sleep?
252
00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:22,726
You're just upset 'cause now it's
clear who the best Yenta is.
253
00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:24,761
Oh, please. They have zero chemistry.
254
00:08:24,796 --> 00:08:26,597
Oh, they're making out on your lawn.
255
00:08:26,631 --> 00:08:28,198
Damn it! I got to hit the sprinklers.
256
00:08:28,232 --> 00:08:30,233
While my mom
struck out finding Bill love,
257
00:08:30,268 --> 00:08:33,147
Barry was still determined
to get up to bat with Ren.
258
00:08:33,172 --> 00:08:36,039
- Hey!
- Pops, it's a romantic emergency.
259
00:08:36,074 --> 00:08:37,641
I need to wow a gal.
260
00:08:37,709 --> 00:08:40,277
It's easy... Chocolates and daffodils.
261
00:08:40,311 --> 00:08:42,746
Wrong. Adam, I've seen
the girls you drag home.
262
00:08:42,780 --> 00:08:44,548
- They're all better than you.
- I'm not that bad.
263
00:08:44,582 --> 00:08:45,882
You're garbage, and they're nines.
264
00:08:45,917 --> 00:08:47,080
Tell me your sorcerer's spell.
265
00:08:47,150 --> 00:08:48,986
I guess I listen...
266
00:08:49,053 --> 00:08:51,321
Shut up! I can't bear
to hear you drone on.
267
00:08:51,389 --> 00:08:52,956
Pops, I'm back to you.
268
00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:54,825
No, you're being a putz.
269
00:08:54,892 --> 00:08:56,293
Adam, I'm tagging you back in.
270
00:08:56,327 --> 00:08:58,962
Just find something Ren
likes and do that.
271
00:08:58,997 --> 00:09:01,231
As boring as that sounds,
that might work.
272
00:09:01,265 --> 00:09:03,333
She needs a celebrity
for her charity telethon.
273
00:09:03,401 --> 00:09:04,901
So get her a celebrity.
274
00:09:04,936 --> 00:09:07,437
You'll be a hero, and she'll
shower you with kisses.
275
00:09:07,472 --> 00:09:08,905
I like this shower-kiss plan.
276
00:09:08,940 --> 00:09:10,907
Finally, your tired brain kicked in.
277
00:09:10,942 --> 00:09:13,644
But what celebrity can I score
on such short notice?
278
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:17,781
But I heard John Oates of R&B
super duo Daryl Hall & John Oates
279
00:09:17,815 --> 00:09:19,349
went to our dentist once.
280
00:09:19,417 --> 00:09:22,071
It's decided! Adam will
pretend to need a checkup,
281
00:09:22,102 --> 00:09:23,749
break into the files,
282
00:09:23,774 --> 00:09:26,032
retrieve Oates' personal details,
283
00:09:26,075 --> 00:09:28,210
bring 'em to me, I'll cold-call him
284
00:09:28,242 --> 00:09:29,960
and convince him
with my insurmountable charm
285
00:09:29,994 --> 00:09:31,795
to play for whatever
charity this is for.
286
00:09:31,829 --> 00:09:33,830
It's Earth Day. And why can't you go?
287
00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:37,331
I was just there two years ago...
Too suspicious.
288
00:09:37,378 --> 00:09:38,435
- Move it!
- Fine!
289
00:09:38,469 --> 00:09:40,037
I'd rather be at the dentist than here.
290
00:09:40,104 --> 00:09:42,139
So here I go, I guess.
291
00:09:42,173 --> 00:09:43,904
Ren? Yep, I just locked down
292
00:09:43,982 --> 00:09:46,763
Daryl Hall & John Oates
for your telethon.
293
00:09:46,817 --> 00:09:49,878
- What?
- Barry, this is a terrible plan.
294
00:09:49,903 --> 00:09:51,761
That's right! Barry did it!
295
00:09:51,786 --> 00:09:53,406
I'll have 'em there tonight.
296
00:09:53,461 --> 00:09:55,552
Oh, my God!
297
00:09:55,620 --> 00:09:58,188
That's too soon for something
that'll never happen.
298
00:09:58,222 --> 00:10:00,327
Sure, make yourself feel better.
299
00:10:00,352 --> 00:10:02,679
Daffodils? I feel sad for you.
300
00:10:04,786 --> 00:10:06,463
Barry's surefire way to secure
301
00:10:06,488 --> 00:10:07,940
Daryl Hall & John Oates
302
00:10:07,972 --> 00:10:10,956
was to send me to the dentist.
Only one problem.
303
00:10:10,987 --> 00:10:12,542
I had seven cavities, man!
304
00:10:12,610 --> 00:10:15,558
No one cares about
your tragic dental hygiene.
305
00:10:15,589 --> 00:10:16,738
Did you get Oates' number?
306
00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:20,175
I was sitting in that chair for
three hours fighting for my life.
307
00:10:20,253 --> 00:10:22,228
So stop drinking juice.
308
00:10:22,253 --> 00:10:23,880
- Oates me!
- I did get something.
309
00:10:23,950 --> 00:10:26,278
The world-famous lips
that wrote Maneater
310
00:10:26,317 --> 00:10:28,071
- are in my hands!
- I guess.
311
00:10:28,122 --> 00:10:29,989
How'd you score these luscious choppers?
312
00:10:30,021 --> 00:10:32,122
My brain was flying so high on nitrous
313
00:10:32,156 --> 00:10:34,457
that I lost all fear
or sense of morality.
314
00:10:34,492 --> 00:10:35,892
Been there. Go on.
315
00:10:35,960 --> 00:10:37,994
Then I slipped on a Highlights magazine,
316
00:10:38,029 --> 00:10:40,130
crashed into a poster about flossing,
317
00:10:40,164 --> 00:10:41,531
but I swiped it.
318
00:10:41,565 --> 00:10:43,033
And look! There's a phone number!
319
00:10:43,067 --> 00:10:45,135
I did it! I found Oates!
320
00:10:45,169 --> 00:10:46,670
I did undergo major oral surgery
321
00:10:46,704 --> 00:10:48,038
and commit a misdemeanor,
322
00:10:48,072 --> 00:10:50,040
but sure, you looked
at something in your hand.
323
00:10:50,074 --> 00:10:53,476
Yes, I'd like to ask John
Oates to be on a telethon.
324
00:10:53,511 --> 00:10:55,578
What? A lab in Arizona?
325
00:10:55,646 --> 00:10:56,813
Pssh!
326
00:10:56,847 --> 00:10:59,199
- Yeah, we're not getting John Oates.
- Great!
327
00:10:59,224 --> 00:11:01,818
I had a man's hand in my mouth
for hours, all for nothing.
328
00:11:01,852 --> 00:11:04,854
That man's hand inside of you
meant everything!
329
00:11:04,889 --> 00:11:06,990
So there's only one logical thing to do.
330
00:11:07,024 --> 00:11:08,825
More carrots, less Reese's Pieces?
331
00:11:08,859 --> 00:11:13,096
You and I must become
Daryl Hall & John Oates.
332
00:11:13,164 --> 00:11:15,398
Ooh, fun! And... What?
333
00:11:15,433 --> 00:11:17,867
I'll be Hall. You'll be Oates.
334
00:11:17,902 --> 00:11:21,538
And we'll nail our performance
with such utter perfection,
335
00:11:21,572 --> 00:11:24,007
no one will be able to distinguish
us from the real thing.
336
00:11:24,041 --> 00:11:26,609
I'm still a little fuzzy from
the gas, but that seems right.
337
00:11:26,677 --> 00:11:29,279
As Barry and I transformed
into music legends,
338
00:11:29,347 --> 00:11:31,548
my dad was wondering
where his bandmate was.
339
00:11:31,582 --> 00:11:33,950
Ah, the Phillies suck! Where's Bill?
340
00:11:34,018 --> 00:11:35,919
I need him to boo
our favorite team together.
341
00:11:35,953 --> 00:11:37,083
Please.
342
00:11:37,138 --> 00:11:39,205
Bill's probably waking up
in a bathtub full of ice
343
00:11:39,256 --> 00:11:41,891
because Jane Bales' match has taken
his spleen, liver, and nipple.
344
00:11:41,926 --> 00:11:43,293
No one steals a nipple.
345
00:11:43,361 --> 00:11:44,561
You don't know!
346
00:11:44,595 --> 00:11:46,062
Those sensitive little buttons
347
00:11:46,097 --> 00:11:48,298
are in big demand on the black market.
348
00:11:48,366 --> 00:11:49,733
They put 'em in soups.
349
00:11:49,767 --> 00:11:50,767
I guess I asked.
350
00:11:50,801 --> 00:11:52,769
Hey, hey, hey! Beverly Goldberg!
351
00:11:52,803 --> 00:11:55,071
There's my walking ray of sunshine!
352
00:11:55,106 --> 00:11:57,140
I suppose I do brighten any room I'm in.
353
00:11:57,165 --> 00:11:58,428
And my Mur-man.
354
00:11:58,471 --> 00:12:01,393
Looks like this big bowl of ice
cream could use a cherry on top.
355
00:12:01,424 --> 00:12:02,355
Whoop!
356
00:12:02,380 --> 00:12:03,580
- Mwah!
- Oh!
357
00:12:03,614 --> 00:12:05,048
Get off! What's that smell?
358
00:12:05,082 --> 00:12:07,584
Dial soap. It's the
fragrance of bath time.
359
00:12:07,618 --> 00:12:09,052
And you're wearing a sweater.
360
00:12:09,086 --> 00:12:10,787
It's something called Merino wool.
361
00:12:10,821 --> 00:12:12,489
It's not the best,
but it's not the worst.
362
00:12:12,556 --> 00:12:14,224
So, y-you're happy?
363
00:12:14,258 --> 00:12:16,826
Dolores is fun. She's interesting.
She does stuff.
364
00:12:16,894 --> 00:12:18,261
We went on a walk!
365
00:12:18,295 --> 00:12:20,296
If you like walks so much, sit down.
366
00:12:20,331 --> 00:12:21,664
Steve Carlton's
about to give up another one.
367
00:12:21,732 --> 00:12:23,566
No can do, my friend.
368
00:12:23,601 --> 00:12:26,069
Dolores and I are going to
dinner at a restaurant.
369
00:12:26,103 --> 00:12:27,804
You should come and see
how great she is for yourself.
370
00:12:27,838 --> 00:12:29,606
We'll be there.
371
00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:31,641
I'm gonna test her and see
if she really is a good match
372
00:12:31,675 --> 00:12:33,576
or just another Jane Bales dud.
373
00:12:33,611 --> 00:12:36,312
Seems like you should just be
happy for me, but okay!
374
00:12:36,347 --> 00:12:38,524
- Ha-ha!
- I'm gonna expose Dolores
375
00:12:38,585 --> 00:12:39,993
for the fraud she is.
376
00:12:40,032 --> 00:12:42,986
And Jane Bales will be banned
from Yenta-ing forever.
377
00:12:43,020 --> 00:12:44,297
Which one's Jane Bales, again?
378
00:12:44,344 --> 00:12:47,490
And so my mom
set out to do what she did best...
379
00:12:47,525 --> 00:12:49,759
Systematically destroy
a budding relationship.
380
00:12:49,794 --> 00:12:51,361
So, what's everybody drinking?
381
00:12:51,429 --> 00:12:52,695
Hm, Dolores?
382
00:12:52,763 --> 00:12:55,198
Just six glasses of wine
because of your problem?
383
00:12:55,266 --> 00:12:56,633
Oh, I'm kind of a lightweight.
384
00:12:56,667 --> 00:12:57,667
I'll just have a beer.
385
00:12:57,701 --> 00:12:59,669
Me too. Good call!
386
00:12:59,703 --> 00:13:02,205
We're still not sure about you.
387
00:13:02,273 --> 00:13:04,107
I have no opinion.
388
00:13:04,141 --> 00:13:06,443
Oh, Dolores, I see you looking at
389
00:13:06,477 --> 00:13:09,612
the expensive side of the menu, huh?
You like nice things?
390
00:13:09,647 --> 00:13:11,181
Guilty as charged!
391
00:13:11,215 --> 00:13:14,117
Aha! You're gonna bleed Bill's
already meager life savings dry.
392
00:13:14,151 --> 00:13:16,486
Oh, well, actually, I make
more money than Bill.
393
00:13:16,520 --> 00:13:17,854
She knows fancy finance words
394
00:13:17,888 --> 00:13:19,556
like "dividend" and "checking account."
395
00:13:19,623 --> 00:13:21,858
And you'll always feel
inferior because of it.
396
00:13:21,892 --> 00:13:24,461
Nuh-unh! I'm ready for my
full-time job to be foot rubber.
397
00:13:24,495 --> 00:13:26,196
Well, I'm hiring!
398
00:13:26,230 --> 00:13:29,065
Yeah, well, keep your hands off her
dogs while I'm eating my soup.
399
00:13:29,133 --> 00:13:31,501
Beverly, I didn't know
when to bring this up,
400
00:13:31,535 --> 00:13:34,037
but I am a huge fan of your cookbook.
401
00:13:34,071 --> 00:13:35,205
You are?
402
00:13:35,239 --> 00:13:37,040
Would you mind signing mine for me?
403
00:13:37,074 --> 00:13:38,508
Here? Now?
404
00:13:38,542 --> 00:13:40,743
I have my own smudge-proof pen!
405
00:13:40,811 --> 00:13:41,902
And please don't tell me
406
00:13:41,972 --> 00:13:44,047
that you bedazzled that
gorgeous sweater yourself.
407
00:13:44,081 --> 00:13:46,716
I did bedazzle this beauty myself.
408
00:13:46,750 --> 00:13:50,019
How are you so amazing
and friends with Jane Bales?
409
00:13:50,054 --> 00:13:51,888
Jane and I aren't really friends.
410
00:13:51,922 --> 00:13:54,491
Between you and me,
she's a strong cup of coffee.
411
00:13:54,525 --> 00:13:56,226
She is a piece of [Bleep].
412
00:13:57,392 --> 00:14:00,554
- Bill, we are so lucky we found Dolores!
- Aww!
413
00:14:00,601 --> 00:14:02,565
As my mom warmed up to Dolores,
414
00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:04,434
my brother and I were comin' in hot.
415
00:14:04,502 --> 00:14:05,735
Sorry I'm late.
416
00:14:05,769 --> 00:14:07,704
I got sidetracked
hugging some trees outside.
417
00:14:07,738 --> 00:14:09,272
I cannot thank you enough.
418
00:14:09,340 --> 00:14:10,573
So, where are they?
419
00:14:10,608 --> 00:14:12,008
They're preparing all their hits.
420
00:14:12,042 --> 00:14:13,376
You can announce them in five.
421
00:14:13,410 --> 00:14:14,777
You're the best.
422
00:14:16,923 --> 00:14:19,867
Without knowing any facts,
what incredibly stupid thing did you do?
423
00:14:19,914 --> 00:14:22,352
He promised her that Daryl Hall
& John Oates would perform,
424
00:14:22,386 --> 00:14:24,254
- but instead, we are.
- What?
425
00:14:24,288 --> 00:14:25,388
I'm gonna go try and get ready,
426
00:14:25,422 --> 00:14:26,488
even though there's no way.
427
00:14:27,291 --> 00:14:29,392
Barry, please don't do this.
428
00:14:29,426 --> 00:14:30,894
I see what this is!
429
00:14:30,928 --> 00:14:32,228
You're cheesesteaking me!
430
00:14:32,263 --> 00:14:34,230
You're telling me to do the opposite
431
00:14:34,265 --> 00:14:35,465
of what will make Ren happy
432
00:14:35,533 --> 00:14:36,699
'cause you don't want us to be together.
433
00:14:36,734 --> 00:14:38,701
I promise I am not cheesesteaking you.
434
00:14:38,736 --> 00:14:40,270
I'm trying to protect you.
435
00:14:40,304 --> 00:14:42,176
Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure
436
00:14:42,231 --> 00:14:46,309
to welcome Philadelphia's very
own Daryl Hall & John Oates!
437
00:14:46,377 --> 00:14:47,762
See you at our wedding!
438
00:14:47,809 --> 00:14:49,778
Yeah, we thought of everything.
439
00:14:49,825 --> 00:14:52,215
Except for the part where we both
dressed as the same rock star.
440
00:14:53,450 --> 00:14:55,118
You're supposed to be Oates, dummy!
441
00:14:55,152 --> 00:14:56,786
I am Oates! You're supposed to be Hall!
442
00:14:56,820 --> 00:14:58,054
This is what Hall looks like!
443
00:14:58,088 --> 00:15:00,423
♪ Oh-oh, here she comes ♪
444
00:15:00,457 --> 00:15:01,791
Dude, Hall's the tall blond!
445
00:15:01,825 --> 00:15:03,426
Oates is the mustachioed one!
446
00:15:03,460 --> 00:15:05,762
♪ Oh-oh, here she comes ♪
447
00:15:05,796 --> 00:15:07,430
You need to sing the Hall parts!
448
00:15:07,464 --> 00:15:08,965
I just know the backing vocals!
449
00:15:08,999 --> 00:15:10,949
♪ Oh-oh, here she comes ♪
450
00:15:11,004 --> 00:15:12,268
What are we gonna do?
451
00:15:12,303 --> 00:15:14,270
I guess you sing the part you know.
452
00:15:14,305 --> 00:15:16,239
♪ Oh-oh, here she comes ♪
453
00:15:16,273 --> 00:15:17,307
♪ She's a m... ♪
454
00:15:19,343 --> 00:15:20,777
What the hell, Barry?
455
00:15:20,811 --> 00:15:22,590
I'm sorry. Let us do Rich Girl!
456
00:15:22,636 --> 00:15:24,781
No! I don't want you to do
anything ever again.
457
00:15:24,815 --> 00:15:25,915
Just leave.
458
00:15:25,950 --> 00:15:28,117
- Oh, no.
- I warned you.
459
00:15:28,152 --> 00:15:29,419
This is all your fault!
460
00:15:29,453 --> 00:15:30,853
Me? How am I to blame for this?
461
00:15:30,921 --> 00:15:33,356
If you were honest with me
in the first place,
462
00:15:33,424 --> 00:15:35,937
I would've listened to you now!
Thanks for nothing.
463
00:15:38,295 --> 00:15:39,696
And why did you agree to this?
464
00:15:39,747 --> 00:15:41,164
Honestly, the last thing I remember
465
00:15:41,203 --> 00:15:42,765
is a dental assistant asking me
466
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:44,644
if I had someone to drive me home.
467
00:15:44,699 --> 00:15:48,171
As we flamed out, Jane Bales
was burning mad at my mom.
468
00:15:48,205 --> 00:15:50,373
Beverly Goldberg! How could you?
469
00:15:50,441 --> 00:15:52,775
You can't prove it, and
I'll deny it to my grave!
470
00:15:52,810 --> 00:15:54,010
Also, what is this about?
471
00:15:54,044 --> 00:15:55,378
Dolores broke up with Bill.
472
00:15:55,446 --> 00:15:57,547
She said she thought
we weren't a good fit.
473
00:15:57,615 --> 00:15:59,882
But she's the ham
to my pocket filled with ham.
474
00:15:59,950 --> 00:16:02,565
Which means you clearly did
something to sabotage them.
475
00:16:02,596 --> 00:16:05,150
I mean, I went to dinner with the
intention of doing something,
476
00:16:05,220 --> 00:16:06,345
but then I liked her.
477
00:16:06,385 --> 00:16:09,392
You just couldn't handle that
I found Bill love and not you.
478
00:16:09,460 --> 00:16:11,494
I still remember
the last place we kissed.
479
00:16:11,528 --> 00:16:12,662
Mouths.
480
00:16:12,696 --> 00:16:14,831
Why, Beverly? Why do you hate love?
481
00:16:14,865 --> 00:16:16,032
I didn't do this!
482
00:16:16,066 --> 00:16:17,734
Who would do this if it wasn't you?
483
00:16:17,801 --> 00:16:19,035
It was me, okay?
484
00:16:19,069 --> 00:16:21,066
- Murray?
- What did you do to that woman?
485
00:16:21,090 --> 00:16:25,141
I just told her that Bill was
so crushed after his wife left
486
00:16:25,175 --> 00:16:27,449
that he wasn't ready
for another relationship.
487
00:16:27,527 --> 00:16:28,551
Why?
488
00:16:28,582 --> 00:16:30,747
It was just all happening too fast.
489
00:16:30,814 --> 00:16:33,583
I saw you all these years
destroyed by love,
490
00:16:33,651 --> 00:16:35,585
and I didn't want to
see it happen again.
491
00:16:35,653 --> 00:16:37,387
But Dolores makes me happy.
492
00:16:37,421 --> 00:16:39,188
I was just looking out for you, buddy.
493
00:16:39,223 --> 00:16:40,690
If you were really my buddy,
494
00:16:40,724 --> 00:16:42,325
you wouldn't have
sucker-punched my heart.
495
00:16:42,359 --> 00:16:43,660
- Bill...
- No, Murray!
496
00:16:43,694 --> 00:16:44,706
Maybe you're right.
497
00:16:44,731 --> 00:16:47,074
Maybe I'm meant to be alone.
498
00:16:47,145 --> 00:16:49,463
I knew I didn't
need to get my doorbell fixed.
499
00:16:51,166 --> 00:16:52,946
Barry's attempt to wow Ren
500
00:16:52,971 --> 00:16:54,424
didn't exactly go as planned.
501
00:16:54,453 --> 00:16:57,422
I can't believe we both
dressed up like Daryl Hall.
502
00:16:57,456 --> 00:17:00,471
Oates! We're both Oates!
How are you still not getting that?
503
00:17:00,541 --> 00:17:02,360
I guess I just screw up everything.
504
00:17:02,395 --> 00:17:04,197
Stupid mustache.
505
00:17:04,229 --> 00:17:05,397
Oww! Ohh!
506
00:17:05,431 --> 00:17:06,798
Just take it off like this.
507
00:17:06,866 --> 00:17:08,233
On, off.
508
00:17:08,267 --> 00:17:09,901
On, off.
509
00:17:09,935 --> 00:17:11,303
Oates, Hall.
510
00:17:11,370 --> 00:17:12,809
Oates, Hall.
511
00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:13,938
Mine doesn't do that.
512
00:17:13,973 --> 00:17:15,373
What kind of adhesive did you use?
513
00:17:15,408 --> 00:17:16,741
The stuff Dad seals the tub with.
514
00:17:16,776 --> 00:17:18,643
That's not meant for the human face!
515
00:17:18,711 --> 00:17:20,111
This bagel duster's gonna be on forever!
516
00:17:20,146 --> 00:17:21,112
Hey.
517
00:17:21,614 --> 00:17:22,580
Hey.
518
00:17:23,649 --> 00:17:24,883
Yeah, I'll let you guys talk.
519
00:17:28,054 --> 00:17:29,287
How's it going?
520
00:17:29,322 --> 00:17:31,289
Not so great.
521
00:17:31,324 --> 00:17:33,758
I embarrassed myself
in front of a girl I like,
522
00:17:33,793 --> 00:17:35,827
but even worse, I let her down.
523
00:17:35,895 --> 00:17:37,896
Why'd you lie about
Daryl Hall & John Oates?
524
00:17:37,930 --> 00:17:39,397
I thought I could get them.
525
00:17:39,432 --> 00:17:42,901
And I tried, but I-I only
ended up with their teeth.
526
00:17:42,935 --> 00:17:44,769
I feel like there's more there,
527
00:17:44,804 --> 00:17:46,919
but I'm just not gonna ask.
528
00:17:47,973 --> 00:17:49,808
I'm sorry I ruined your telethon.
529
00:17:49,842 --> 00:17:51,810
Here's the thing, you didn't.
530
00:17:51,844 --> 00:17:54,270
Everyone thought it was
some goofy comedy act
531
00:17:54,309 --> 00:17:57,053
called Oates & Oates,
so we got a ton of donations.
532
00:17:58,284 --> 00:17:59,467
So I kinda helped?
533
00:17:59,514 --> 00:18:00,985
You kinda did.
534
00:18:01,020 --> 00:18:03,822
But next time, just talk to me.
535
00:18:03,856 --> 00:18:06,727
I wanted to, but you were so busy,
536
00:18:06,781 --> 00:18:09,438
and Erica convinced me
you only kissed me on spring break
537
00:18:09,462 --> 00:18:10,625
because it was your vacation.
538
00:18:10,703 --> 00:18:12,508
Well, she doesn't know everything.
539
00:18:13,199 --> 00:18:14,579
You kinda like me, too?
540
00:18:14,634 --> 00:18:17,564
A guy that would
go through all of this effort
541
00:18:17,595 --> 00:18:19,337
to support something
that's important to me...
542
00:18:20,940 --> 00:18:23,108
What's not to like?
543
00:18:25,644 --> 00:18:26,878
Wait. This isn't right.
544
00:18:26,946 --> 00:18:29,647
Oh, no. 'Cause I'm not
a viable romantic partner?
545
00:18:29,682 --> 00:18:31,683
No, dummy.
546
00:18:31,717 --> 00:18:32,784
This!
547
00:18:33,561 --> 00:18:34,930
Oww! Ohh!
548
00:18:36,485 --> 00:18:37,509
The truth is,
549
00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:39,899
we all do crazy stuff
for the people we care about,
550
00:18:39,962 --> 00:18:41,893
even if it doesn't always work out.
551
00:18:41,961 --> 00:18:44,130
I don't get it. I thought you
wanted Bill to be happy.
552
00:18:45,197 --> 00:18:46,698
I do.
553
00:18:46,732 --> 00:18:48,771
I just didn't want to
see him get hurt again.
554
00:18:50,002 --> 00:18:53,972
Honestly, you not supporting
your friend hurts more.
555
00:18:54,006 --> 00:18:55,840
Well, that's not what I want.
556
00:18:55,875 --> 00:18:57,142
Bill's the best.
557
00:18:57,176 --> 00:18:58,821
He deserves all the good stuff.
558
00:18:59,345 --> 00:19:01,379
Then tell him that.
559
00:19:01,414 --> 00:19:04,286
Not talking to each other,
it's kind of our thing.
560
00:19:05,885 --> 00:19:07,591
Well, maybe it shouldn't be.
561
00:19:07,661 --> 00:19:10,221
♪ Because your kiss,
your kiss is on my list
562
00:19:10,256 --> 00:19:12,223
Oh, it's you.
563
00:19:12,258 --> 00:19:13,658
I was kinda hoping
you were somebody else.
564
00:19:13,692 --> 00:19:14,926
Here she is.
565
00:19:14,994 --> 00:19:16,060
Hi, Bill.
566
00:19:16,095 --> 00:19:17,729
My gummy bear's back!
567
00:19:19,999 --> 00:19:22,434
- I'll give you guys a minute.
- Okay.
568
00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:26,780
Listen, what I said about
not wanting you to get hurt?
569
00:19:26,834 --> 00:19:28,039
It's true. I meant it.
570
00:19:28,073 --> 00:19:29,303
I appreciate that.
571
00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:31,209
Here's the thing...
572
00:19:31,243 --> 00:19:33,344
I don't have a lot of people in my life.
573
00:19:33,379 --> 00:19:34,822
You're my friend.
574
00:19:34,876 --> 00:19:35,954
My one friend.
575
00:19:36,015 --> 00:19:37,449
Right back at you.
576
00:19:37,516 --> 00:19:41,953
We spend every Sunday
watching TV at my house,
577
00:19:42,021 --> 00:19:44,756
and the thought of that not happening...
578
00:19:44,790 --> 00:19:46,891
That's a thought you don't need to have.
579
00:19:46,926 --> 00:19:48,226
There's not a woman in the world
580
00:19:48,260 --> 00:19:49,861
that can come between me
and my best bud.
581
00:19:49,895 --> 00:19:51,463
- Really?
- Really.
582
00:19:51,530 --> 00:19:53,097
Now bring it in.
583
00:19:53,132 --> 00:19:54,895
Let old Bill get his arms around you.
584
00:19:56,973 --> 00:20:00,071
Turns out, accepting
what makes the people we love happy
585
00:20:00,105 --> 00:20:02,440
can make us all happier in the end.
586
00:20:02,475 --> 00:20:04,275
Hey, I'll grab you another slice.
587
00:20:06,312 --> 00:20:07,479
You sure you're okay with this?
588
00:20:07,546 --> 00:20:09,113
Yeah, I suppose.
589
00:20:09,148 --> 00:20:11,649
I mean, you are
two of my favorite people.
590
00:20:11,717 --> 00:20:13,151
'Cause when we open our hearts,
591
00:20:13,219 --> 00:20:16,287
we can all find new ways
to grow... Together.
592
00:20:16,322 --> 00:20:19,123
Enjoy your game. We're going shopping.
593
00:20:19,158 --> 00:20:22,961
After all, sharing moments with
people we love, both old and new...
594
00:20:22,995 --> 00:20:25,617
That's one of the best things in life.
595
00:20:32,271 --> 00:20:33,838
Hi. I'm Wendi McLendon-Covey,
596
00:20:33,906 --> 00:20:36,441
and I play Beverly Goldberg
on The Goldbergs.
597
00:20:36,475 --> 00:20:38,576
We have a character called Bill Lewis,
598
00:20:38,611 --> 00:20:40,011
and I've got some questions for you.
599
00:20:40,079 --> 00:20:41,779
What advice would you give someone
600
00:20:41,814 --> 00:20:44,749
who's going to work
for Beverly Goldberg?
601
00:20:44,783 --> 00:20:46,812
Wear a set of earplugs.
602
00:20:47,219 --> 00:20:48,886
Well, that's it.
603
00:20:48,954 --> 00:20:51,345
The Earth Day telethon
is over for another year.
604
00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:52,817
You should be so proud of yourself.
605
00:20:52,876 --> 00:20:54,410
I mean, you filled two straight days
606
00:20:54,445 --> 00:20:55,876
with wall-to-wall entertainment.
607
00:20:55,929 --> 00:20:58,598
I guess, but I still didn't
get anyone famous.
608
00:20:58,666 --> 00:20:59,999
Damn it!
609
00:21:00,034 --> 00:21:02,766
I was so close
to Daryl Hall & John Oates.
610
00:21:04,838 --> 00:21:07,607
What the hell, man? Are you mocking me?
611
00:21:07,675 --> 00:21:09,575
Oh, no, I-I was just messing around.
612
00:21:09,610 --> 00:21:11,010
- I-I'm sorry.
- You should be.
613
00:21:11,045 --> 00:21:12,412
But me and my buddy, we got this band,
614
00:21:12,446 --> 00:21:13,788
- and I thought maybe next year...
- Hard no.
615
00:21:13,866 --> 00:21:15,715
But don't you guys got
a bunch of hours to fill?
616
00:21:15,749 --> 00:21:18,249
Hard no! Sweet 'stache, though.
617
00:21:18,274 --> 00:21:21,187
Oh, well, thanks.
It's, uh, kinda my thing.
618
00:21:22,289 --> 00:21:25,898
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com