1 00:00:01,335 --> 00:00:03,704 - So Douglas Hegdahl is taken to the Hanoi Hilton, 2 00:00:03,737 --> 00:00:06,139 a notorious POW camp. 3 00:00:06,173 --> 00:00:09,209 And he thinks, I'm gonna pretend to be 4 00:00:09,243 --> 00:00:10,744 an idiot. 5 00:00:10,777 --> 00:00:13,280 [burps] - [laughs] 6 00:00:13,313 --> 00:00:15,582 - So Florence Nightingale gathers together 7 00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:18,886 38 nurses to take care of these soldiers. 8 00:00:18,919 --> 00:00:21,221 The fuck are you doing? His dick is out. 9 00:00:21,255 --> 00:00:22,689 And Florence was like, 10 00:00:22,723 --> 00:00:25,092 Fuck you. His fucking arm's infected. 11 00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:27,127 Why do I want to kick you? - [chuckles] 12 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:30,130 [patriotic music] 13 00:00:30,163 --> 00:00:34,868 ? 14 00:00:39,306 --> 00:00:42,242 [The Police's "Sending Out An SOS"] 15 00:00:42,276 --> 00:00:43,944 - I love you. - I love you, man. 16 00:00:43,977 --> 00:00:46,446 - Cheers. I remember when we first met, 17 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:49,783 every time I saw you, you would have a boot on your car. 18 00:00:49,816 --> 00:00:52,619 - [laughs] 19 00:00:52,653 --> 00:00:54,388 - Am I wrong? 20 00:00:54,421 --> 00:00:56,623 - You're not wrong. 21 00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:57,724 - You have a-- 22 00:00:57,758 --> 00:01:00,327 - I went through 11 cars in Los Angeles 23 00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:03,063 and 9 of them got booted. 24 00:01:03,096 --> 00:01:06,266 - [chuckles] That's not false. I know-- 25 00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:09,903 - None of this-- this is all true. 26 00:01:09,937 --> 00:01:11,672 - It is a great excuse to not drive. 27 00:01:11,705 --> 00:01:13,106 - Oh, yeah, it's great. 28 00:01:13,140 --> 00:01:14,474 Hey, do you wanna drive? 29 00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:16,844 - I would love to, but I got two boots. 30 00:01:16,877 --> 00:01:19,947 - Hello. [burps] I'm Mark Gagliardi. 31 00:01:19,980 --> 00:01:23,851 And today, we're gonna be talking about Douglas Hegdahl. 32 00:01:23,884 --> 00:01:25,652 - Cheers. - Cheers. 33 00:01:25,686 --> 00:01:29,690 Our story begins in April of 1967. 34 00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:33,594 America is embroiled in the middle of the Vietnam War. 35 00:01:33,627 --> 00:01:36,797 And Douglas Hegdahl is one of the sailors 36 00:01:36,830 --> 00:01:39,166 on the "USS Canberra," 37 00:01:39,199 --> 00:01:42,202 which is a destroyer ship that is 38 00:01:42,236 --> 00:01:45,806 going up and down the coast of North Vietnam. 39 00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:49,910 He's just come off of his 1:00 a.m. watch shift. 40 00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:54,147 And boom--Douglas Hegdahl is blown into the waters 41 00:01:54,181 --> 00:01:55,782 of the South China Sea 42 00:01:55,816 --> 00:01:58,685 by the gun that is on the deck of the ship 43 00:01:58,719 --> 00:01:59,953 that he is standing on. 44 00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:02,856 So he floats there until 45 00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:04,691 these North Vietnamese fishermen 46 00:02:04,725 --> 00:02:06,126 see him in the water; they pull him up; 47 00:02:06,159 --> 00:02:08,729 they put him on board; and they take care of him; 48 00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:10,964 and then, unfortunately, 49 00:02:11,064 --> 00:02:15,202 hand him off immediately to the North Vietnamese soldiers. 50 00:02:15,235 --> 00:02:16,870 And the North Vietnamese say, 51 00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:18,405 You're a spy! 52 00:02:18,438 --> 00:02:20,073 You never declared war on us. 53 00:02:20,073 --> 00:02:22,709 We don't have to abide by the Gem--Ge-- 54 00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:25,846 [groans] Geneva Conventions. 55 00:02:25,879 --> 00:02:27,848 You wanna go to the Hanoi Hilton? 56 00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:29,316 'Cause that's where we're going. 57 00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:30,751 - Sounds fancy as hell. 58 00:02:30,784 --> 00:02:32,853 - No-no-no-no-no-no-no, Derek! 59 00:02:32,886 --> 00:02:35,422 The Hanoi Hilton is not fancy! 60 00:02:35,455 --> 00:02:38,192 That is an ironic name, my friend. 61 00:02:38,225 --> 00:02:39,626 - [chuckles] 62 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:43,330 - So Douglas Hegdahl is taken to the Hanoi Hilton, 63 00:02:43,363 --> 00:02:46,867 a notorious POW camp. 64 00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:47,868 [burps] - Mm. 65 00:02:47,901 --> 00:02:49,203 - [blows raspberry] 66 00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:51,004 - Disgusting. - Look. 67 00:02:51,104 --> 00:02:53,941 Let's not be real jerks about this. 68 00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:55,742 - Okay. 69 00:02:55,776 --> 00:02:58,312 - So Douglas Hegdahl was pulled into meetings 70 00:02:58,345 --> 00:03:00,814 with The Rabbit, who was the guy that 71 00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:03,450 was the main interrogator of this place, 72 00:03:03,483 --> 00:03:05,352 a brutal monster. 73 00:03:05,385 --> 00:03:06,887 And The Rabbit was like, 74 00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:08,755 You don't have a story for me? 75 00:03:08,789 --> 00:03:10,090 I've got a story for you. 76 00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:11,825 And he would throw him down 77 00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:14,127 and beat the Christ out of him. 78 00:03:14,161 --> 00:03:17,631 And so Douglas Hegdahl, in the course of his beatings, 79 00:03:17,664 --> 00:03:19,466 thinks to himself, 80 00:03:19,499 --> 00:03:21,535 Things are crazy. 81 00:03:21,568 --> 00:03:23,871 I gotta figure something out. 82 00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:25,272 I know. 83 00:03:25,305 --> 00:03:29,977 I'll pretend that I'm a backwards bumpkin 84 00:03:30,077 --> 00:03:32,479 like those guys I grew up with 85 00:03:32,513 --> 00:03:35,082 in Clark, South Dakota. 86 00:03:35,082 --> 00:03:40,220 I'm gonna pretend to be an idiot. 87 00:03:40,254 --> 00:03:42,289 And Douglas Hegdahl's like, Uh, you know what? 88 00:03:42,322 --> 00:03:44,525 I--I agree with you guys. 89 00:03:44,558 --> 00:03:47,094 I--I'm on your team now. 90 00:03:47,094 --> 00:03:48,829 And the North Vietnamese say, 91 00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:50,163 You seem to be a guy who 92 00:03:50,197 --> 00:03:52,132 understands where we're coming from. 93 00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:55,169 Why don't we give you these propaganda things to say? 94 00:03:55,202 --> 00:03:57,804 And then we won't look like we're the assholes. 95 00:03:57,838 --> 00:04:01,041 And Douglas Hegdahl says, Oh, uh, problem is, 96 00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:04,878 I--I don't really know how to read so good. 97 00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:07,114 So they give him this tutor. 98 00:04:07,147 --> 00:04:10,184 And they try to teach him how to read and write. 99 00:04:10,217 --> 00:04:14,388 He's pretending to be stupid. 100 00:04:14,421 --> 00:04:16,123 So Doug Hegdahl's like, 101 00:04:16,156 --> 00:04:19,059 Oh, uh, gosh, I need a new pair of glasses. 102 00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:20,661 So what do they do? 103 00:04:20,694 --> 00:04:23,063 They fucking take him out into Hanoi 104 00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:24,164 and they're like, 105 00:04:24,198 --> 00:04:26,366 We're gonna take you to go get new glasses. 106 00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,869 And he's like, Oh, gosh, this is great. 107 00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:31,572 He memorizes the route... [camera shutter snaps] 108 00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:34,074 from the Hanoi Hilton into the city 109 00:04:34,074 --> 00:04:35,175 where he's gonna go. 110 00:04:35,209 --> 00:04:36,643 And on his way back, 111 00:04:36,677 --> 00:04:39,079 he's got this brand-new pair of glasses. 112 00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:41,081 He wanted to learn the route 113 00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:42,449 and he talked these bozos into 114 00:04:42,482 --> 00:04:44,484 getting him a new pair of glasses. 115 00:04:44,518 --> 00:04:45,752 - That's great. 116 00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:47,521 - Yeah. 117 00:04:47,554 --> 00:04:48,889 - [laughs] 118 00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:52,526 - So Douglas Hegdahl seemed to be 119 00:04:52,559 --> 00:04:55,596 the dumbest guy that the North Vietnamese 120 00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:57,464 had ever captured. 121 00:04:57,497 --> 00:05:01,535 In fact, the nickname that the North Vietnamese Army 122 00:05:01,568 --> 00:05:05,205 gave Douglas Hegdahl was, quote, 123 00:05:05,239 --> 00:05:08,041 "The Incredibly Stupid One." 124 00:05:08,075 --> 00:05:09,610 So at a certain point, 125 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,645 the North Vietnamese were just like, 126 00:05:11,678 --> 00:05:14,882 What are we gonna do with this idiot? 127 00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:16,049 And they're like, 128 00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:17,818 Oh, we take a nap every couple hours 129 00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:19,386 every afternoon, uh... 130 00:05:19,419 --> 00:05:23,190 Why don't we just let this, uh, really dumb American 131 00:05:23,223 --> 00:05:25,592 be the guy that walks the grounds 132 00:05:25,626 --> 00:05:28,495 during our dumb afternoon siesta? 133 00:05:28,529 --> 00:05:30,097 So Doug Hegdahl's like, 134 00:05:30,130 --> 00:05:32,132 Yeah, sure, I'll roam around the camp... 135 00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,634 [dramatic music] 136 00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:37,738 And sabotage your trucks. [burps] 137 00:05:39,206 --> 00:05:43,210 - [laughing] 138 00:05:43,243 --> 00:05:45,245 - Boy, this television show is hard. 139 00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:46,780 - [laughing] - I get it. 140 00:05:46,813 --> 00:05:49,816 You guys are a real bunch of dicks. 141 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,818 You're laughing because you know that was a bit. 142 00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,654 - It was a Chris Pratt fall. 143 00:05:53,687 --> 00:05:53,954 ? 144 00:05:55,911 --> 00:05:58,010 {\an7}- ♪ Hegdahl, summer in the city ♪ 145 00:05:58,010 --> 00:05:59,812 {\an7}\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- ♪ Hegdahl, summer in the city! ♪ 146 00:05:59,812 --> 00:06:02,670 {\an7}\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h♪ Back of my neck getting dirty and gritty ♪ 147 00:06:02,670 --> 00:06:03,670 {\an7}[both laugh] 148 00:06:03,670 --> 00:06:06,812 {\an7}- All right, so do you remember where you were? 149 00:06:06,812 --> 00:06:08,736 {\an7}- So Douglas Hegdahl 150 00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:11,637 {\an7}\h\h\h\h\h\hhas convinced the North Vietnamese Army 151 00:06:11,637 --> 00:06:15,637 {\an7}\h\h\h\hthat he’s some sort of fucking, uh, country bumpkin. 152 00:06:15,637 --> 00:06:17,307 {\an7}So they gave him free rein 153 00:06:17,307 --> 00:06:20,076 {\an7}\h\hof the entirety of the Hanoi Hilton. 154 00:06:20,076 --> 00:06:23,637 {\an7}He decides the best thing \h\h\h\h\h\hthat he can do 155 00:06:23,637 --> 00:06:26,604 {\an7}\h\h\h\his to sabotage the North Vietnamese. 156 00:06:26,604 --> 00:06:30,505 {\an7}\h\h\h\hSo Hegdahl puts dirt in the tanks of the trucks. 157 00:06:30,505 --> 00:06:35,472 {\an7}\h\h\hAnd all five trucks are rendered un-drivable. 158 00:06:35,472 --> 00:06:37,340 {\an7}And then Doug Hegdahl \h\h\h\h\h\h\his like, 159 00:06:37,340 --> 00:06:38,670 {\an7}I’m going to learn the names 160 00:06:38,670 --> 00:06:44,274 {\an7}of every single man that is \h\h\h\h\hin this POW camp. 161 00:06:44,274 --> 00:06:47,076 {\an7}So he memorizes the names 162 00:06:47,076 --> 00:06:50,571 {\an7}\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hto the tune of "Old MacDonald Had a Farm." 163 00:06:50,571 --> 00:06:54,142 {\an7}\h\h\h\hSo he’s just kind of walking around the grounds, 164 00:06:54,142 --> 00:06:55,604 {\an7}singing to himself. 165 00:06:55,604 --> 00:06:59,010 {\an7}♪ Old MacDonald had a Dave ♪ 166 00:06:59,010 --> 00:07:00,944 {\an7}♪ E-I-E-I-O ♪ 167 00:07:00,944 --> 00:07:04,769 {\an7}♪ And that Dave’s last name \h\h\h\h\h\hwas MacDonald ♪ 168 00:07:04,769 --> 00:07:07,274 {\an7}\h\h- [chuckles] - ♪ E-I-E-I-O ♪ 169 00:07:07,274 --> 00:07:09,208 {\an7}♪ With a Dave MacDonald here ♪ 170 00:07:09,208 --> 00:07:12,175 {\an7}♪ And a put him on your list \h\h\h\hof people who are ♪ 171 00:07:12,175 --> 00:07:15,109 {\an7}♪ Gonna get on the boat \h\hto get out of this ♪ 172 00:07:15,109 --> 00:07:17,736 {\an7}♪ Godforsaken place there ♪ 173 00:07:17,736 --> 00:07:20,043 {\an7}♪ E-I-E-I-O ♪ 174 00:07:20,043 --> 00:07:20,736 {\an7}- [laughs] 175 00:07:20,736 --> 00:07:25,241 {\an7}- So he memorizes 256 names, 176 00:07:25,241 --> 00:07:28,845 {\an7}every prisoner of this \h\h\h\h\h\hPOW camp, 177 00:07:28,845 --> 00:07:31,406 {\an7}including John McCain. 178 00:07:31,406 --> 00:07:32,703 {\an7}- Cheers to McCain. 179 00:07:32,703 --> 00:07:34,769 {\an7}- To John McCain. \h\h\hboth: Yeah. 180 00:07:34,769 --> 00:07:36,670 {\an7}- Now, the North Vietnamese 181 00:07:36,670 --> 00:07:39,911 {\an7}\h\hrelease three American hostages 182 00:07:39,911 --> 00:07:40,538 {\an7}every few months. 183 00:07:40,538 --> 00:07:45,274 {\an7}So Douglas Hegdahl is gonna be \h\h\h\h\hone of the guys that 184 00:07:45,274 --> 00:07:49,703 {\an7}the North Vietnamese return \hback to the United States. 185 00:07:49,703 --> 00:07:52,977 {\an7}So on August 5, 1969, 186 00:07:52,977 --> 00:07:56,736 {\an7}\h\hHegdahl is released in a prisoner exchange. 187 00:07:56,736 --> 00:08:00,241 {\an7}So when Hegdahl gets back \h\hto the United States, 188 00:08:00,241 --> 00:08:03,010 {\an7}all of the information \hthat he’s memorized, 189 00:08:03,010 --> 00:08:08,538 {\an7}he shares with Russell... \h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\h\hCrowe. 190 00:08:08,538 --> 00:08:10,977 {\an7}- Mark. 191 00:08:14,208 --> 00:08:15,406 {\an7}[flatulence] 192 00:08:15,406 --> 00:08:17,043 {\an7}Inappropriate. 193 00:08:17,043 --> 00:08:19,977 {\an7}- [laughs] 194 00:08:19,977 --> 00:08:22,439 {\an7}\h\h[flatulence] All right, so... 195 00:08:22,439 --> 00:08:26,010 {\an7}\h\h\h\hRoss Perot, a rich Texas oilman, 196 00:08:26,010 --> 00:08:28,703 {\an7}\h\hwho was also a POW advocate. 197 00:08:28,703 --> 00:08:29,373 {\an7}And Ross Perot said, 198 00:08:29,373 --> 00:08:32,274 {\an7}Hey, man, I want you to go to the Paris Peace talks! 199 00:08:32,274 --> 00:08:35,307 {\an7}\hAnd I want you to be the guy that confronts 200 00:08:35,307 --> 00:08:36,845 {\an7}the North Vietnamese and says, 201 00:08:36,845 --> 00:08:39,670 {\an7}\h\h\h\h\hNo, no, man! Here’s what y’all did! 202 00:08:39,670 --> 00:08:42,472 {\an7}And Doug Hegdahl was like, 203 00:08:42,472 --> 00:08:43,944 {\an7}Okay. 204 00:08:43,944 --> 00:08:47,703 {\an7}So Doug Hegdahl flies to Paris. 205 00:08:47,703 --> 00:08:49,175 {\an7}The US delegation shows up 206 00:08:49,175 --> 00:08:52,175 {\an7}and the North Vietnamese \h\hdelegation shows up. 207 00:08:52,175 --> 00:08:53,274 {\an7}And then the US is like, 208 00:08:53,274 --> 00:08:56,604 {\an7}We got this dude, \h\hDoug Hegdahl, 209 00:08:56,604 --> 00:09:00,142 {\an7}\h\h\h\h\h\hwho was in one of your POW camps. 210 00:09:00,142 --> 00:09:01,175 {\an7}And he’s like, 211 00:09:01,175 --> 00:09:02,637 {\an7}Hey, guess what, dickheads. 212 00:09:02,637 --> 00:09:05,043 {\an7}I was faking it the whole time. 213 00:09:05,043 --> 00:09:07,736 {\an7}\h\h\hYou’re breaking the Geneva Convention. 214 00:09:07,736 --> 00:09:09,845 {\an7}You’re torturing prisoners. 215 00:09:09,845 --> 00:09:13,845 {\an7}\h\h\h\h\h\hI saw it with mine own eyes. 216 00:09:13,845 --> 00:09:17,439 {\an7}So the North Vietnamese \h\h\h\h\h\h\hare like, 217 00:09:17,439 --> 00:09:18,010 {\an7}Oh, shit! 218 00:09:18,010 --> 00:09:24,043 {\an7}\h\hThis guy that we called "The Incredibly Stupid One" 219 00:09:24,043 --> 00:09:28,670 {\an7}\h\h\h\h\h\h\his actually... [whispers] Incredibly smart. 220 00:09:28,670 --> 00:09:30,208 {\an7}So Doug Hegdahl is like, 221 00:09:30,208 --> 00:09:33,637 {\an7}Fuck, yeah, I am, \h\hmotherfuckers! 222 00:09:33,637 --> 00:09:36,472 {\an7}\hBoom! America. 223 00:09:36,472 --> 00:09:39,043 {\an7}And it’s thanks to \h\h\hDoug Hegdahl 224 00:09:39,043 --> 00:09:41,703 {\an7}who had memorized the names 225 00:09:41,703 --> 00:09:45,538 {\an7}of all 256 POWs 226 00:09:45,538 --> 00:09:47,373 {\an7}that-- 227 00:09:47,373 --> 00:09:50,241 {\an7}[sighs] 228 00:09:50,241 --> 00:09:52,571 {\an7}So in 1973, 229 00:09:52,571 --> 00:09:56,241 {\an7}\h\h\hall of these men were finally released 230 00:09:56,241 --> 00:09:57,977 {\an7}from the Hanoi Hilton, 231 00:09:57,977 --> 00:10:00,208 {\an7}thanks to the work 232 00:10:00,208 --> 00:10:03,142 {\an7}of Seaman Douglas Hegdahl. 233 00:10:03,142 --> 00:10:05,307 {\an7}\h\h\h\h\h\h\h- Cheers. Great job, Mark. 234 00:10:05,307 --> 00:10:08,241 {\an7}- Hi! You’re watching "Drunk History." 235 00:10:08,241 --> 00:10:09,670 {\an7}Wish I wasn’t! 236 00:10:09,670 --> 00:10:12,010 {\an7}- [laughs] 237 00:10:14,962 --> 00:10:17,431 - Why do I get... - Pissed at me? 238 00:10:17,464 --> 00:10:19,033 - I drink and I get-- - I know. 239 00:10:19,066 --> 00:10:21,035 - Like you're my brother or something and I wanna punch ya. 240 00:10:21,068 --> 00:10:22,536 - That's cool. - Is it? 241 00:10:22,569 --> 00:10:23,871 - Oh, I mean, no. 242 00:10:23,904 --> 00:10:25,105 But I mean, it's... - Oh. 243 00:10:25,139 --> 00:10:27,007 - Cool that you feel like I'm your brother. 244 00:10:27,041 --> 00:10:30,044 - I don't know, you're just fun to fuck with. 245 00:10:30,077 --> 00:10:32,346 You know what? Because I know you can defend yourself 246 00:10:32,379 --> 00:10:34,481 and you can fuck with me worse than I can fuck with you. 247 00:10:34,515 --> 00:10:36,250 - I know, I hold back. - Because you're clever. 248 00:10:36,283 --> 00:10:37,584 I know! - You throw-- 249 00:10:37,618 --> 00:10:39,053 you--you go out shooting. 250 00:10:39,086 --> 00:10:41,922 - That's so rude. - I wait for my final bomb. 251 00:10:41,955 --> 00:10:43,590 - Aw, shit, what does that mean? 252 00:10:43,624 --> 00:10:45,859 - I love you. - Aww. 253 00:10:45,893 --> 00:10:47,394 That was beautiful. 254 00:10:47,428 --> 00:10:50,297 Hello, my name is Paget Brewster. 255 00:10:50,330 --> 00:10:53,467 And today we will be discussing Florence Nightingale, 256 00:10:53,500 --> 00:10:56,937 the Mother of Modern Nursing. 257 00:10:56,970 --> 00:10:58,672 Wha--that was perfect! 258 00:10:58,706 --> 00:11:00,107 - Just rolled right off your tongue. 259 00:11:00,140 --> 00:11:01,241 - Did it not? 260 00:11:01,275 --> 00:11:02,776 - [mockingly] The mutter of mudern nursing. 261 00:11:02,810 --> 00:11:04,978 - Did I say "The mutter of mudern nursing"? 262 00:11:05,012 --> 00:11:06,513 - [very slurred] The mudder of muddern nurding. 263 00:11:06,547 --> 00:11:08,916 - Hi, I'm Paget Brewster, and today, 264 00:11:08,949 --> 00:11:12,419 we will be discussing Florence Nightingale, 265 00:11:12,453 --> 00:11:14,354 The Mutter of Modern Nursing. 266 00:11:14,388 --> 00:11:16,356 [both laugh] 267 00:11:16,390 --> 00:11:22,162 Okay, our story begins in 1830s England, 268 00:11:22,196 --> 00:11:24,765 which is the beginning of the Victorian Area. 269 00:11:24,798 --> 00:11:26,133 - Oh. - "Era." 270 00:11:26,166 --> 00:11:27,234 - I've been there. 271 00:11:27,267 --> 00:11:30,204 - Shut it up now. 272 00:11:30,237 --> 00:11:33,207 - [chuckles] - Okay. 273 00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:35,909 So Florence Nightingale is the daughter 274 00:11:35,943 --> 00:11:39,713 of a very wealthy affluent family 275 00:11:39,747 --> 00:11:41,315 outside of London. 276 00:11:41,348 --> 00:11:44,385 And Florence is doing what everyone her age is doing. 277 00:11:44,418 --> 00:11:47,054 She's a teenager and her mother says, 278 00:11:47,087 --> 00:11:49,189 Oh, this is so great. 279 00:11:49,223 --> 00:11:51,925 You're just gonna study all this stuff. 280 00:11:51,959 --> 00:11:53,627 And then you're gonna marry rich 281 00:11:53,627 --> 00:11:56,063 'cause you're rich, and you're gonna have kids. 282 00:11:56,096 --> 00:11:57,965 And Florence is like, 283 00:11:57,998 --> 00:12:00,667 Ugh. I don't think I want that at all. 284 00:12:00,701 --> 00:12:02,936 In fact, I like nursing. 285 00:12:02,970 --> 00:12:05,706 I like fixing people and helping people. 286 00:12:05,739 --> 00:12:08,242 And maybe I'm a fucking weirdo, I don't fucking know. 287 00:12:08,275 --> 00:12:09,943 And she started thinking, Oh, my God. 288 00:12:09,977 --> 00:12:13,113 Maybe God has chosen me for something greater 289 00:12:13,147 --> 00:12:17,951 than just being a rich fucking lady. 290 00:12:17,985 --> 00:12:19,486 So she tells her parents, 291 00:12:19,586 --> 00:12:21,288 I don't want to run a house. 292 00:12:21,321 --> 00:12:24,358 I just want to be a fucking nurse. 293 00:12:24,391 --> 00:12:27,261 She wants to be a nurse, but nursing is not a profession. 294 00:12:27,294 --> 00:12:29,730 And at the age of 24, she leaves the house 295 00:12:29,763 --> 00:12:31,331 and starts interning at 296 00:12:31,365 --> 00:12:34,068 the Harley Street hospital in London. 297 00:12:34,101 --> 00:12:38,605 And in 1853, the War of Crimea breaks out. 298 00:12:38,605 --> 00:12:39,606 So-- 299 00:12:39,606 --> 00:12:40,607 - Have you ever been in that river? 300 00:12:40,607 --> 00:12:42,142 - Huh? 301 00:12:42,176 --> 00:12:43,977 - "Cry me a" river? You never been there? 302 00:12:44,011 --> 00:12:47,114 - Oh, fuck me. Oh, my God. 303 00:12:47,147 --> 00:12:48,816 - [chuckles] - Oh, God. 304 00:12:48,849 --> 00:12:50,617 Why do I want to kick you? 305 00:12:50,651 --> 00:12:52,753 - I get that. - I like you. 306 00:12:52,786 --> 00:12:53,754 Anyway. 307 00:12:53,787 --> 00:12:56,290 In 1854, the Secretary of War, 308 00:12:56,323 --> 00:12:58,625 Sidney Herbert writes a letter 309 00:12:58,625 --> 00:13:00,194 to Florence Nightingale saying, 310 00:13:00,227 --> 00:13:02,463 Florence, uh, you're a great nurse. 311 00:13:02,496 --> 00:13:03,630 I've heard about your work 312 00:13:03,664 --> 00:13:05,332 at the--at the something hospital 313 00:13:05,366 --> 00:13:07,401 I already forgot the fucking name of. 314 00:13:07,434 --> 00:13:08,502 - Is that Harley? 315 00:13:08,535 --> 00:13:10,170 - Harley Street hospital. That's right. 316 00:13:10,204 --> 00:13:13,741 I need you to go get a team of nurses together 317 00:13:13,774 --> 00:13:16,643 and go and help out our military doctors. 318 00:13:16,677 --> 00:13:19,780 So Florence was like, Yep, I'm fucking on board. 319 00:13:19,813 --> 00:13:24,017 So Florence gathers together 38 nurses. 320 00:13:24,051 --> 00:13:27,688 And they go to the Scutari Barracks Hospital 321 00:13:27,721 --> 00:13:29,356 in Constantinople, 322 00:13:29,390 --> 00:13:32,126 which is a piece of shit. 323 00:13:32,159 --> 00:13:35,095 It was rats and lice. 324 00:13:35,129 --> 00:13:37,931 It's not even a hospital; it's a barracks. 325 00:13:37,965 --> 00:13:40,334 So they show up, and the male doctors, 326 00:13:40,367 --> 00:13:42,269 they flip the fuck out. 327 00:13:42,302 --> 00:13:44,338 They're like, Fuck these broads. 328 00:13:44,371 --> 00:13:46,607 We don't need any chicks here. 329 00:13:46,607 --> 00:13:50,277 God damn it. This sucks. 330 00:13:50,310 --> 00:13:51,645 - Would you like me to help you? 331 00:13:51,678 --> 00:13:53,213 - Yes, please, Derek. 332 00:13:57,117 --> 00:14:00,320 You broke it! [laughs] 333 00:14:00,354 --> 00:14:02,256 That's pretty manly. [laughs] 334 00:14:02,289 --> 00:14:03,791 [shimmering tone] 335 00:14:03,824 --> 00:14:05,392 Thank you. Gi-- 336 00:14:05,426 --> 00:14:06,627 Don't you-- 337 00:14:06,627 --> 00:14:09,930 Give me my fucking booze, bitch! 338 00:14:09,963 --> 00:14:12,633 All right, you're fucking in for it now. 339 00:14:12,633 --> 00:14:16,070 So the doctor's pissed off, and Florence is like, 340 00:14:16,103 --> 00:14:17,871 Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah, I get that. 341 00:14:17,905 --> 00:14:19,807 It's never happened before in history, 342 00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:22,976 but I'm here now, my ladies are here now. 343 00:14:23,010 --> 00:14:26,947 Florence and her nurses are 344 00:14:26,980 --> 00:14:28,849 shocked at the conditions, 345 00:14:28,882 --> 00:14:30,718 but they believe in Florence, and they're like, 346 00:14:30,751 --> 00:14:31,785 All right. 347 00:14:31,819 --> 00:14:33,187 We're gonna do whatever she says. 348 00:14:33,220 --> 00:14:35,122 Let's go. Let's clean this up. 349 00:14:35,155 --> 00:14:38,926 Two days later, thousands of soldiers injured 350 00:14:38,959 --> 00:14:40,894 from the Battle of Inkerman 351 00:14:40,928 --> 00:14:44,798 are brought into the barracks hospital. 352 00:14:44,832 --> 00:14:48,869 This was 3,000 soldiers 353 00:14:48,902 --> 00:14:51,071 laying on straw pallets. 354 00:14:51,105 --> 00:14:54,007 They are covered in their own excrement. 355 00:14:54,041 --> 00:14:55,642 They are bleeding. 356 00:14:55,676 --> 00:14:56,877 So the doctors are like, 357 00:14:56,910 --> 00:14:59,680 Oh, shit. Fuck it, we need your help. 358 00:14:59,713 --> 00:15:03,250 She ends up being known as the lady with the lamp, 359 00:15:03,283 --> 00:15:05,486 because it was this British woman 360 00:15:05,519 --> 00:15:07,221 there in Crimea, 361 00:15:07,254 --> 00:15:09,623 holding a lamp and visiting soldiers. 362 00:15:09,656 --> 00:15:11,959 But one night, 363 00:15:11,992 --> 00:15:14,962 while she was changing the dressing 364 00:15:14,995 --> 00:15:18,332 of a man who had had an arm amputation, 365 00:15:18,365 --> 00:15:21,368 an army doctor walked in. 366 00:15:21,402 --> 00:15:24,471 And the man was naked. - But why? 367 00:15:24,571 --> 00:15:25,839 - Because they had no resources. 368 00:15:25,873 --> 00:15:28,042 And the doctor said to Florence, 369 00:15:28,075 --> 00:15:30,244 The fuck are you doing? His dick is out. 370 00:15:30,277 --> 00:15:31,645 And Florence was like, 371 00:15:31,678 --> 00:15:34,214 Fuck you. His fucking arm's infected. 372 00:15:34,248 --> 00:15:35,682 - Holding for plane. [distant plane drones] 373 00:15:35,716 --> 00:15:38,719 - Oh, my God, we're holding for a plane. 374 00:15:40,621 --> 00:15:43,223 Don't kick me. - I have a twitch. 375 00:15:43,257 --> 00:15:45,325 - I am not a fan of this. I thought you were a gentleman. 376 00:15:45,359 --> 00:15:46,627 - Florence Nightingale. I thought you liked-- 377 00:15:46,660 --> 00:15:48,796 - Oh, I'm a fan of Florence Nightingale, not you. 378 00:15:48,829 --> 00:15:50,798 You ready? - [chuckles] 379 00:15:50,831 --> 00:15:53,400 - Shut up! 380 00:15:53,434 --> 00:15:56,370 I'm gonna kick you in the nuts! 381 00:15:56,403 --> 00:15:57,905 Bring your nuts closer 382 00:15:57,938 --> 00:16:00,607 so I can kick the-- 'cause I'm tired. 383 00:16:00,607 --> 00:16:01,675 - [soft laugh] 384 00:16:01,709 --> 00:16:04,378 - So all of these soldiers are amazed 385 00:16:04,411 --> 00:16:07,381 this lady with a lamp was protecting them. 386 00:16:07,414 --> 00:16:09,817 And the soldiers were saying to each other, 387 00:16:09,850 --> 00:16:12,152 This is the only person that's cared about us. 388 00:16:12,186 --> 00:16:15,155 And Florence and her nurses have done 389 00:16:15,189 --> 00:16:18,792 everything they can do. 390 00:16:18,826 --> 00:16:21,762 Unfortunately, in the four months 391 00:16:21,795 --> 00:16:26,567 that they are first there, 4,777 soldiers die. 392 00:16:26,567 --> 00:16:29,937 And Florence says, I'm so fucking angry. 393 00:16:29,970 --> 00:16:32,773 I'm so angry we lost so many men. 394 00:16:32,806 --> 00:16:36,043 And I need to find out why we failed. 395 00:16:36,076 --> 00:16:39,813 So the Crimean War ends in 1856. 396 00:16:39,847 --> 00:16:42,116 And Florence gets back to England. 397 00:16:42,149 --> 00:16:44,251 And she is awarded 398 00:16:44,284 --> 00:16:49,256 a $250,000 war fund dispensation gift 399 00:16:49,289 --> 00:16:50,858 from Queen Victoria. 400 00:16:50,891 --> 00:16:52,059 But Queen Victoria says, 401 00:16:52,092 --> 00:16:53,894 What happened in Crimea? 402 00:16:53,927 --> 00:16:57,231 And Florence says, I don't fucking know. 403 00:16:57,264 --> 00:16:58,932 It was bad. 404 00:16:58,966 --> 00:17:02,069 And I think I noticed a trend. 405 00:17:02,102 --> 00:17:04,805 And I'm gonna have to fucking think about this. 406 00:17:04,838 --> 00:17:07,808 She is also really sick. 407 00:17:07,841 --> 00:17:10,644 She has the Crimean flu. 408 00:17:10,677 --> 00:17:13,547 I mean, bad, coughing, sputum. 409 00:17:13,547 --> 00:17:14,581 - What's sputum? 410 00:17:14,615 --> 00:17:17,985 - Sputum's an old term for mucus. 411 00:17:18,018 --> 00:17:20,587 - Too much informashe. - "Informashe"? 412 00:17:20,621 --> 00:17:22,056 - [chuckles] 413 00:17:22,089 --> 00:17:24,124 - I will not accept that from you. 414 00:17:24,158 --> 00:17:25,626 - Crimea river. 415 00:17:25,659 --> 00:17:28,562 - Shut up. Fuck you. I'm drunk. 416 00:17:30,922 --> 00:17:32,357 - Okay, you ready? - Yes. 417 00:17:32,390 --> 00:17:35,093 - [exhales] And it should start with me 418 00:17:35,126 --> 00:17:37,595 speaking to the camera full of rage, right? 419 00:17:37,629 --> 00:17:39,531 - Mm-hmm. - Like, rage and regret. 420 00:17:39,564 --> 00:17:41,900 - Yeah, like chugging that. - Like "chugganaut"? 421 00:17:41,933 --> 00:17:42,901 - Like chugging that. 422 00:17:42,934 --> 00:17:44,636 - Oh, chugging this? - Mm-hmm. 423 00:17:44,669 --> 00:17:46,237 - 'Cause that's what I do every year, 424 00:17:46,271 --> 00:17:47,939 I chug-- - Yeah. 425 00:17:47,972 --> 00:17:50,742 - You know what, I am gonna chug it. 426 00:17:54,412 --> 00:17:56,047 - Okay. You remember where you were? 427 00:17:56,080 --> 00:17:57,582 - Yes. - You do. Okay. 428 00:17:57,615 --> 00:17:59,384 Okay, so... 429 00:17:59,417 --> 00:18:02,153 Florence goes back to England 430 00:18:02,187 --> 00:18:05,757 and just goes to her bed. 431 00:18:05,790 --> 00:18:07,625 She's so ill 432 00:18:07,659 --> 00:18:11,029 that she stays in bed for 11 years. 433 00:18:11,062 --> 00:18:12,130 - What? - And it--yes. 434 00:18:12,163 --> 00:18:14,499 In those 11 years, 435 00:18:14,532 --> 00:18:15,767 she starts studying 436 00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:17,602 all of her notes from Constantinople. 437 00:18:17,635 --> 00:18:19,437 And she's like, I know something was wrong here. 438 00:18:19,471 --> 00:18:21,673 And she's building graphs. 439 00:18:21,706 --> 00:18:23,675 And she starts seeing a pattern. 440 00:18:23,708 --> 00:18:26,511 And she's like, I think I figured out what happened. 441 00:18:26,544 --> 00:18:29,380 The men at the Scutari Hospital 442 00:18:29,414 --> 00:18:32,117 were ten times more likely to die 443 00:18:32,150 --> 00:18:36,121 from an infectious disease than from a war wound. 444 00:18:36,154 --> 00:18:39,057 That's why we failed. It was hygiene. 445 00:18:39,090 --> 00:18:40,091 And she was like, 446 00:18:40,125 --> 00:18:42,293 Cleanliness is next to godliness. 447 00:18:42,327 --> 00:18:46,264 So she presents all of this analytical data 448 00:18:46,297 --> 00:18:47,832 to Queen Victoria. 449 00:18:47,866 --> 00:18:51,035 And in 1859, she wrote a book 450 00:18:51,069 --> 00:18:53,338 called "Notes on Nursing." 451 00:18:53,371 --> 00:18:54,839 Years go by, 452 00:18:54,873 --> 00:18:59,010 and Florence uses the money that Queen Victoria gave her 453 00:18:59,010 --> 00:19:04,249 to found the Nightingale School of Nursing, 454 00:19:04,282 --> 00:19:08,319 which is the first nursing school 455 00:19:08,353 --> 00:19:11,022 in the history of ever? 456 00:19:11,022 --> 00:19:14,492 Nursing didn't exist until Florence Nightingale. 457 00:19:14,526 --> 00:19:19,264 Also, when Florence Nightingale is 87 years old, 458 00:19:19,297 --> 00:19:21,633 she received the Order of Merit 459 00:19:21,666 --> 00:19:23,601 from Queen Victoria, 460 00:19:23,635 --> 00:19:26,271 who still is kicking, and is like, 461 00:19:26,304 --> 00:19:29,441 This fucking Florence is great! 462 00:19:29,474 --> 00:19:31,242 She fixed a bunch of shit. 463 00:19:31,276 --> 00:19:32,777 I like her moxie. 464 00:19:32,811 --> 00:19:36,448 This was the first time a woman was ever awarded 465 00:19:36,481 --> 00:19:38,616 the Order of Merit. 466 00:19:38,650 --> 00:19:41,119 And that's a big fucking deal. 467 00:19:41,152 --> 00:19:42,387 [burps] - Are you okay? 468 00:19:42,420 --> 00:19:43,688 - Yeah, I burped. - I know. 469 00:19:43,721 --> 00:19:45,156 That looked aggressive. 470 00:19:45,190 --> 00:19:47,258 - It was not an aggressive burp. 471 00:19:47,292 --> 00:19:48,560 - I mean, aggressive as in, like, 472 00:19:48,593 --> 00:19:50,061 I wanna make sure you're not gonna throw up. 473 00:19:50,095 --> 00:19:51,896 Okay? - You know I--I'm a lady. 474 00:19:51,996 --> 00:19:53,364 - Oh. Curtsy. 475 00:19:53,398 --> 00:19:57,035 - [British accent] C--curtsy. 476 00:19:57,068 --> 00:19:58,570 Okay, you ready? 477 00:19:58,603 --> 00:20:01,439 So Florence Nightingale was responsible 478 00:20:01,473 --> 00:20:04,242 for pioneering an industry 479 00:20:04,275 --> 00:20:08,213 and giving women a job and a purpose 480 00:20:08,246 --> 00:20:12,250 that they weren't allowed at that time. 481 00:20:12,283 --> 00:20:16,354 So what she did was really extraordinary. 482 00:20:16,387 --> 00:20:17,722 And it's amazing. 483 00:20:17,756 --> 00:20:21,059 159 years later, 484 00:20:21,092 --> 00:20:24,729 her book is still used in hospitals today. 485 00:20:24,763 --> 00:20:26,498 My math is not good. 486 00:20:26,531 --> 00:20:28,833 It might be 170-something. 487 00:20:28,867 --> 00:20:30,735 - Remember, it's 2019. 488 00:20:30,769 --> 00:20:32,070 - Okay, I don't like math. 489 00:20:32,103 --> 00:20:33,404 I want you to do it. 490 00:20:33,438 --> 00:20:36,141 Not because you're a man. Well, kind of. 491 00:20:36,174 --> 00:20:38,209 - Uh.... 492 00:20:38,243 --> 00:20:41,212 [patriotic music] 493 00:20:41,246 --> 00:20:48,286 ?