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00:00:02,736 --> 00:00:06,872
- Carl Sagan and Ann Druyan
create a mix tape,
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00:00:06,874 --> 00:00:07,740
plated in gold.
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00:00:07,742 --> 00:00:10,142
[gasps] Has that been on
this whole time?
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00:00:10,144 --> 00:00:14,313
- Wernher von Braun, the father
of American rocket science,
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00:00:14,315 --> 00:00:15,614
joins the SS.
6
00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:17,516
- What does "SS" stand for?
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- Serious Nazis.
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- [laughs]
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00:00:20,554 --> 00:00:21,520
- So Leonov's like,
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00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:24,223
Oh, I [bleep] up
this whole thing.
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00:00:24,225 --> 00:00:25,824
The suit blew up too big.
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00:00:25,826 --> 00:00:27,359
He's got--filled!
It's filled!
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The suit's--
[blows raspberry]
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00:00:29,730 --> 00:00:32,931
[patriotic music]
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00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:39,204
♪ ♪
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- Space!
That's a river,
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that's made out of sky.
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Somebody, like, said, "Oh,
look at that thing up there.
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"What if we could go to that?
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"You want to put me up
in this garbage can
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with fireworks strapped to it?
I'll do it."
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People that were smart enough
to go into space?
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Those are the smart enough ones
to impregnate anything,
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anything out there.
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- Cheers.
- One, two, three.
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both: To space.
[glasses clink]
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- Your finger got
in the way of that one.
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One, two, three.
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both: To space.
[glasses clink]
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- Good connection.
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Hello, today we're going
to talk about Carl Sagan, and--
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[burps]
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00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:30,022
I had to let it out--
and Ann Druyan.
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[quiet, dramatic music]
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In 1977, the outer planets
were in precise alignment,
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and the guys at NASA
were like...
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We could send up
two spacecraft,
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"Voyager 1" and "Voyager 2,"
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that could swing around
each planet
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to collect data,
and conduct research,
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and to take pictures,
and to possibly--
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no, for sure-edly,
be flung into deep space.
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Let's [bleep]
some [bleep] up.
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So NASA comes to Carl Sagan,
who's a famous astronomer,
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astrophysicist,
and they're like,
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Hey, man, would you like
to lead a team
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that creates the message--
a mix tape--
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for all of humanity, that
we cast into the cosmic ocean?
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Mother[bleep]ing Carl Sagan
is like,
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Abso-[bleep]-lutely.
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Let's put together
a kick-ass team.
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He hires Ann Druyan
to be the creative director.
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She's a journalist,
she's a writer, she's amazing.
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So, they talked about
how to, like, send the message,
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and an 8-track tape came up
at one point,
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but Carl was like,
This thing
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is going to get [bleep] up
in your Cadillac.
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What's it going to do
at 35,000 miles an hour
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for a billion years
in deep space?
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So these guys at NASA are
looking at each other,
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and they were like,
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We could do this on a record.
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A copper record,
plated in gold.
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We'll plate this thing
in gold, assholes.
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What do we care? We're
the United States government."
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[laughs]
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We're NASA!
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So...
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Annie and Carl sat around
his kitchen table
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for hours on end,
going over
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what should be included
on the golden record.
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They talked about all
that was best about humanity,
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what was beautiful,
what was poetic.
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They looked at each other
and said,
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Let's include whale sounds.
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Let's include thunder.
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Let's include pictures of
drinking and licking
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and swallowing and biting
and eating.
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Um, this is where the music
should swell underneath.
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[orchestral music swells]
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And Annie is looking at Carl,
thinking,
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This will outlive ourselves,
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maybe by a billion years.
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[giggles]
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Is "outlive" a word?
- Mm-hmm.
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- They begin working
on a record.
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They recorded a child's voice,
that's like,
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Greetings, from the children
of planet Earth.
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They recorded a baby
that was like, "Waa."
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A kiss, like,
[imitates kissing]
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00:04:03,811 --> 00:04:07,079
Um, birds.
[imitates bird whistling]
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00:04:07,081 --> 00:04:08,847
[imitates bird whistling]
[gasps]
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Has that been on
this whole time?
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- Mm-hmm.
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- Guess I haven't looked
since we started filming.
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Okay, where are we?
Sorry.
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Carl was like,
Oh! We have to represent
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different eras of humanity.
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So Ann found
a 2,500 year old piece
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of ancient Chinese music,
and she was like,
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Oh, my gosh,
that's some old-ass music.
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I have to let Carl know.
This is the greatest ever.
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And she calls him, doesn't
get him, leaves a message:
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Hey, it's Annie, I got it!
It's called "Flowing Stream."
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It's an ancient piece
of Chinese music,
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the most exciting thing so far
that we needed--yes.
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It might sound like what plays
under your massage,
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or whatever, but it's important
and we needed it,
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and you're not here,
and it would be really cool
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if you were here,
or whatever.
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This is Annie.
Might've already said that.
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Good-bye.
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Carl calls her back,
and says,
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I wish you had left me
this message--a message--
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ten years ago.
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And she was like,
What are you talking about?
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He was like,
I guess you and me?
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And she was like, For keeps?
And he was like, Yeah.
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And then they hung up
the phone, and she was like,
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Jesus. What is going on
right now?
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And the phone rings again.
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And he was like,
What's going on?
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And she was like,
I think we just got engaged.
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And he was like, I think
that's 100% cool with me.
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[coughs]
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Wrong pipe.
[burps]
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Sorry about that.
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And they got engaged
over the phone,
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having never shared a kiss,
a romantic moment, nothing.
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- Hmm.
- I just started
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to get choked up.
[clears throat]
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And um, after their declaration
of love, she gets an idea.
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Annie goes to
Bellevue Hospital,
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gets all hooked up,
and she meditates for an hour
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on her love for Carl, and
they recorded her brain waves
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00:06:01,195 --> 00:06:03,995
and all of her thoughts
were compressed
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into a minute of an audio file
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that was included
in the golden record.
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It sounds like fireworks, like
[imitates explosions]
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[imitating explosions]
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00:06:18,645 --> 00:06:21,179
Like that.
- Mm-hmm.
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- Yeah.
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So, in 1977, the golden record
was launched into space,
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containing what we consider
our very best everything.
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Carl and Annie went on
to create
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00:06:36,764 --> 00:06:38,063
the "Cosmos" series for PBS,
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and they were together
for almost 20 years
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before Carl died.
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And, to this day,
Annie will be like,
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Whenever I feel
sad or depressed,
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I think,
"And still they move."
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I mean, that's crazy--
those spacecraft
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carrying all of our best
science, art, greetings
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and the thoughts of a woman
who had just fallen in love.
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00:07:02,456 --> 00:07:04,656
[dramatic music]
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- It's a beautiful
story, isn't it?
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00:07:06,794 --> 00:07:09,661
- [sniffs]
Yeah.
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00:07:10,229 --> 00:07:13,465
- The Soviets launched
the Sputnik satellite,
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00:07:13,467 --> 00:07:17,369
and Wernher von Braun is like,
We gotta get to space!
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You made me full face my face.
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[hiccups]
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00:07:22,709 --> 00:07:24,342
[dramatic music]
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- Are you scared?
- No. Yes. Incredibly.
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♪ ♪
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[both chanting "Space!"]
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00:07:37,991 --> 00:07:41,259
[both exclaiming]
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♪ ♪
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- Oh, my lord.
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00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:46,164
Oh, my God!
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- Waters, dude!
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00:07:48,569 --> 00:07:52,737
[both laughing]
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00:07:52,739 --> 00:07:55,640
- We're having
a Sputnik cocktail.
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00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:56,208
Sputnik!
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00:07:56,210 --> 00:07:58,577
Named after
the first satellite
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00:07:58,579 --> 00:08:01,313
ever launched into orbit
by the lousy Reds.
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00:08:01,315 --> 00:08:03,615
But here's the key
ingredient to a Sputnik.
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00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:04,749
Do you want to know
what it is?
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00:08:04,751 --> 00:08:08,019
- Please.
- Sour grapes.
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00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:09,187
Cheers.
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00:08:09,189 --> 00:08:09,921
Hello.
181
00:08:09,923 --> 00:08:11,656
My name is Matt Gourley,
and today,
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we're gonna talk about
Wernher von Braun.
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00:08:15,262 --> 00:08:21,967
Wernher Magnus Maximilian
Freiherr von Braun.
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Cheers.
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00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:24,903
Wernher von Braun.
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00:08:24,905 --> 00:08:27,806
He's the father of American
rocket science,
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00:08:27,808 --> 00:08:30,342
and at 13 years old,
in Prussia,
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00:08:30,344 --> 00:08:33,011
and he's looking to
the heavenly bodies,
189
00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:34,946
and he's seeing
for the first time,
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there's something
to explore there,
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00:08:36,783 --> 00:08:38,884
and at that point,
he says to himself,
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00:08:38,886 --> 00:08:43,121
We gotta get to space,
me and a bunch of guys.
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00:08:43,123 --> 00:08:45,557
He wants to get to space
at all costs,
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00:08:45,559 --> 00:08:48,693
and this will be the downfall.
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00:08:48,695 --> 00:08:50,428
So then, in 1939,
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00:08:50,430 --> 00:08:53,532
he's the technical director
of the V-2 rocket.
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He's just there with
his buddies, going like,
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00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:56,935
We're building rockets.
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00:08:56,937 --> 00:08:59,804
And then, World War II
really hits the fan.
200
00:08:59,806 --> 00:09:03,275
And out of nowhere,
a man shows up--guess who?
201
00:09:03,277 --> 00:09:05,544
Derek, guess who?
202
00:09:05,546 --> 00:09:07,178
Adolf Hitler.
- Whoa.
203
00:09:07,180 --> 00:09:10,415
- And no [bleep],
he's literally shrouded
204
00:09:10,417 --> 00:09:13,151
in a voluminous cape.
205
00:09:13,153 --> 00:09:14,619
Do you want a candy?
206
00:09:14,621 --> 00:09:17,722
- Whoa, ow.
Jesus.
207
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:20,792
- So he says,
Hey, Wernher von Braun,
208
00:09:20,794 --> 00:09:23,528
why don't you rain down
some V-2 rockets--
209
00:09:23,530 --> 00:09:25,664
you've been developing
these things--
210
00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:27,632
indiscriminately on England?"
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00:09:27,634 --> 00:09:30,635
And he's like,
Hmm. Okay.
212
00:09:30,637 --> 00:09:31,970
And so he joins the SS.
213
00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:36,374
- What does "SS" stand for,
for those that don't know?
214
00:09:36,376 --> 00:09:38,743
- S-serious Nazis.
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00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:42,047
And so they launched
V-2 rockets to England.
216
00:09:42,049 --> 00:09:44,883
After the attacks,
von Braun says,
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00:09:44,885 --> 00:09:46,318
The rocket worked perfectly,
218
00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:49,387
except for landing
on the wrong planet.
219
00:09:49,389 --> 00:09:51,523
His goal is to get to space,
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00:09:51,525 --> 00:09:54,025
not necessarily to destroy.
221
00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:56,962
Guess what? The United States
creates this program,
222
00:09:56,964 --> 00:09:59,831
called "Operation Paperclip,"
and they're like,
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00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:02,434
Let's grab all the German
scientists we can,
224
00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:06,004
forgive any war crimes,
and get 'em to America
225
00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:08,406
before those Russians do.
226
00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:09,774
And they do just that.
227
00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:13,011
Wernher von Braun
has come to El Paso, Texas,
228
00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:14,145
and he's like,
Finally.
229
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:16,581
Let's dig into
some space exploration.
230
00:10:16,583 --> 00:10:17,916
All this nonsense is over.
231
00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:20,452
And the military's like,
[burps] Yeah.
232
00:10:20,454 --> 00:10:22,187
That's great.
Let's do it.
233
00:10:22,189 --> 00:10:24,189
Only if the space program
234
00:10:24,191 --> 00:10:26,524
were less satellites
and more missiles.
235
00:10:26,526 --> 00:10:30,161
And he's like,
Ay, Dios mio.
236
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:33,999
Then, no [bleep],
Walt Disney visits von Braun,
237
00:10:34,001 --> 00:10:35,700
and he says,
I don't know if you know this,
238
00:10:35,702 --> 00:10:38,737
but I'm building a new theme
park called Disneyland,
239
00:10:38,739 --> 00:10:42,207
and I want you to help me build
something called Tomorrowland.
240
00:10:42,209 --> 00:10:45,310
And von Braun's like,
Yeah, but can you help me with
241
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:48,246
capturing the imagination
of the American public,
242
00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:50,782
to get them excited
about space travel?"
243
00:10:50,784 --> 00:10:52,584
And Disney's like,
Two things:
244
00:10:52,586 --> 00:10:53,852
Yeah, I can
help you with that,
245
00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:55,987
and I've got
a tiny little mustache.
246
00:10:55,989 --> 00:11:00,659
So they created a TV series,
called "Man in Space."
247
00:11:00,661 --> 00:11:01,593
And it's a huge hit.
248
00:11:01,595 --> 00:11:03,762
Von Braun is like,
Hello, Americans.
249
00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:05,397
This is how we will
get to space.
250
00:11:05,399 --> 00:11:09,401
42 million Americans watched,
going, How is this possible?
251
00:11:09,403 --> 00:11:12,037
But it's gotta be possible,
'cause it's on TV.
252
00:11:12,039 --> 00:11:13,805
And so he's
a national celebrity,
253
00:11:13,807 --> 00:11:17,575
so much so that he's put on
the cover of "Time" magazine.
254
00:11:17,577 --> 00:11:21,446
The same Wernher von Braun who
was a member of the Nazi party?
255
00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:22,547
Yeah, that's the guy.
256
00:11:22,549 --> 00:11:28,420
And then, in 1957, the Soviets
launch the Sputnik satellite,
257
00:11:28,422 --> 00:11:32,424
and Wernher von Braun is like,
I've been trying to tell you.
258
00:11:32,426 --> 00:11:34,192
We gotta get to space!
259
00:11:34,194 --> 00:11:36,561
Kennedy himself
makes a speech and says,
260
00:11:36,563 --> 00:11:39,531
[imitating Kennedy]
We will put a man on--
261
00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:40,365
No.
262
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:44,536
Have I out-drunked
Derek Waters?
263
00:11:44,538 --> 00:11:46,838
- "Out-drunked"?
264
00:11:48,407 --> 00:11:50,341
- You made me full face my face.
265
00:11:50,343 --> 00:11:54,179
So Kennedy says, We're going
to put a man on the moon
266
00:11:54,181 --> 00:11:55,213
by the decade's end.
267
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:58,850
And so von Braun creates
the "Saturn V" rocket,
268
00:11:58,852 --> 00:12:01,753
and then, on July 16, 1969,
269
00:12:01,755 --> 00:12:05,790
Wernher von Braun's "Saturn V"
gets launched.
270
00:12:05,792 --> 00:12:10,028
[imitates rockets firing]
271
00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:10,762
[clears throat]
272
00:12:10,764 --> 00:12:14,165
[imitates rockets firing]
273
00:12:14,167 --> 00:12:18,937
Wernher von Braun sees that
foot step on the lunar surface,
274
00:12:18,939 --> 00:12:22,707
and he's not an emotional man,
but he becomes emotional
275
00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:25,477
because he was
a central force in--
276
00:12:25,479 --> 00:12:29,347
- [sneezing]
- Bless you.
277
00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:32,250
- I was trying to hold it in
and it made it more disturbing.
278
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,686
Sorry.
- He's a central force,
279
00:12:34,688 --> 00:12:37,355
in getting man to the--
- [sneezes]
280
00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:38,389
- Oh, my God.
- Excuse me.
281
00:12:38,391 --> 00:12:40,225
- You're ruining it.
- [sneezes]
282
00:12:40,227 --> 00:12:41,993
- Man sets foot--
- [laughs]
283
00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:43,962
Do you know what--
no, stop laughing.
284
00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:46,331
Do you know what a deal
it is to get to the moon?
285
00:12:46,333 --> 00:12:47,832
Have you been
to the moon?
286
00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:49,934
- [sneezes]
- Neither have I.
287
00:12:49,936 --> 00:12:52,303
- Von Braun's going,
I've done it.
288
00:12:52,305 --> 00:12:54,272
I've put a man on the moon!
289
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:58,243
He's paraded through
the streets as a hero.
290
00:12:58,245 --> 00:13:00,011
Ah, I feel uncomfortable
with that.
291
00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:02,781
He's a genius,
but he's not a hero.
292
00:13:02,783 --> 00:13:05,116
Let me think of
how to phrase this.
293
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:08,453
If there's any lasting legacy
of Wernher von Braun,
294
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:11,990
it's that he has
these amazing ideas,
295
00:13:11,992 --> 00:13:15,593
but then he straight up
[bleep] up and becomes a Nazi.
296
00:13:15,595 --> 00:13:19,297
Like, he's a complicated
mother[bleep].
297
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:20,431
- You feel safe about this?
298
00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:22,133
- This thing is gonna launch,
and it's gonna be
299
00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:24,836
a testament
to my abilities while drunk.
300
00:13:24,838 --> 00:13:27,438
- Wait a second,
'cause there's a cop.
301
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:27,972
Hold on.
302
00:13:27,974 --> 00:13:32,143
- Just don't be patient.
- Don't be patient?
303
00:13:32,145 --> 00:13:35,380
both: Three, two, one.
304
00:13:35,382 --> 00:13:36,815
- Lift off.
305
00:13:38,384 --> 00:13:41,152
- Wow!
- [laughs]
306
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:41,686
- Whoa!
307
00:13:41,688 --> 00:13:43,788
- This is the best thing
that man's ever done.
308
00:13:43,790 --> 00:13:46,658
- How high did that get?
- 400 to 500 feet,
309
00:13:46,660 --> 00:13:50,929
punishable by $1,000 fine
or one year in jail.
310
00:13:50,931 --> 00:13:52,630
- Smells like burgers.
311
00:13:52,632 --> 00:13:54,699
- Do you want to eat
a giant cheeseburger
312
00:13:54,701 --> 00:13:57,335
in the name of
space exploration?
313
00:13:57,337 --> 00:13:58,136
- Yeah!
314
00:13:58,138 --> 00:14:00,905
Stay tuned for
more "Drunk History."
315
00:14:00,907 --> 00:14:03,842
Space!
- [indistinct talking on PA]
316
00:14:06,512 --> 00:14:08,880
- Who should we cheers to?
317
00:14:08,882 --> 00:14:12,150
- All the 'nauts.
318
00:14:12,152 --> 00:14:14,752
- To every 'naut.
319
00:14:14,754 --> 00:14:18,156
- Cosmonauts
and astronauts.
320
00:14:18,158 --> 00:14:20,792
All the 'nauts.
321
00:14:20,794 --> 00:14:22,894
- 'Naut.
322
00:14:24,897 --> 00:14:27,765
- Hello, I'm Kyle Kinane.
323
00:14:27,767 --> 00:14:32,470
and we're going to talk
about the first space walk.
324
00:14:32,472 --> 00:14:37,208
1965!
Space race underway!
325
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:39,544
America against Russia.
326
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:43,815
So Russia, they've been
sending animals out.
327
00:14:43,817 --> 00:14:44,515
Poo!
328
00:14:44,517 --> 00:14:45,817
But then, the U.S.,
329
00:14:45,819 --> 00:14:47,886
they sent a monkey up there.
330
00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:49,687
Pew!
331
00:14:49,689 --> 00:14:51,289
And then, Russia is just like,
332
00:14:51,291 --> 00:14:53,992
Who's the most maniac
Russian we have?
333
00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:57,629
Pavel Belyayev and
Alexey Leonov.
334
00:14:57,631 --> 00:15:00,798
So Russia says,
Pavel, Alexey,
335
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:03,534
do you want to do
some ape-[bleep] stuff?
336
00:15:03,536 --> 00:15:04,068
[burps]
337
00:15:04,070 --> 00:15:07,639
We'd like you to be
the first human beings
338
00:15:07,641 --> 00:15:09,173
to do a spacewalk.
339
00:15:09,175 --> 00:15:12,977
EVA:
Electorally--
340
00:15:12,979 --> 00:15:14,512
Extra-Vehicular Activity.
341
00:15:14,514 --> 00:15:19,984
Imagine what it's like to be
floating around in the '80s,
342
00:15:19,986 --> 00:15:21,753
except this is the '60s.
343
00:15:21,755 --> 00:15:26,090
And they go, What do you got
going on with your life?
344
00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:26,991
Nothing.
345
00:15:26,993 --> 00:15:27,659
Same here.
346
00:15:27,661 --> 00:15:29,594
Uh, yes, yes, I'll do it.
347
00:15:29,596 --> 00:15:32,363
The mission's
called the Voskhod 2,
348
00:15:32,365 --> 00:15:34,365
and so Russia's watching on TV.
349
00:15:34,367 --> 00:15:37,402
Finally, Russia's got
something awesome.
350
00:15:37,404 --> 00:15:39,404
Good luck with
your rock 'n' roll
351
00:15:39,406 --> 00:15:41,639
and your Beach Boys!
352
00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:42,407
We got this.
353
00:15:42,409 --> 00:15:45,109
So the launch--
it pops off, man.
354
00:15:45,111 --> 00:15:47,545
The launch pops off.
It's good.
355
00:15:47,547 --> 00:15:51,950
And so, they're like,
We did it! We're in orbit.
356
00:15:51,952 --> 00:15:54,585
Leonov pressurizes his suit,
357
00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:57,188
and then leaves the airlock.
358
00:15:57,190 --> 00:16:00,992
I'm floating in space!
I'm floating in space!
359
00:16:00,994 --> 00:16:03,594
It's the best thing
I ever did in my life.
360
00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:06,698
He's the first human being
to do something.
361
00:16:06,700 --> 00:16:08,833
Everybody's watching TV,
this guy's out there,
362
00:16:08,835 --> 00:16:12,403
the whole country's,
Oh! We did it! We're the best.
363
00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:15,173
The First Secretary, Brezhnev,
is like,
364
00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:17,375
Leonov, good job.
365
00:16:17,377 --> 00:16:18,843
[blows out air]
366
00:16:20,879 --> 00:16:22,780
Don't worry, don't worry.
367
00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:25,016
So Leonov's like,
Okay, I did it.
368
00:16:25,018 --> 00:16:28,486
Can I get back into
this craft?
369
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:31,322
Oh, I can't even fit
inside of it,
370
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:33,358
because the suit
blew up too big.
371
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:34,993
He's got--filled!
It's filled!
372
00:16:34,995 --> 00:16:37,528
The suit's--
[blows raspberry]
373
00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:38,963
Filled up.
He's stuck.
374
00:16:38,965 --> 00:16:43,267
He's like, Oh, I [bleep] up
this whole thing.
375
00:16:43,269 --> 00:16:44,369
So they cut the feed.
376
00:16:44,371 --> 00:16:48,106
They immediately cut to
Mozart's "Requiem,"
377
00:16:48,108 --> 00:16:51,109
which is some depressing
funeral jam.
378
00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:51,743
- [laughs]
379
00:16:51,745 --> 00:16:55,146
- I'm--I'm assuming right now
you'll play it, right now.
380
00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:58,216
[Mozart's "Requiem" plays]
381
00:16:58,218 --> 00:17:00,518
And it's just some sad [bleep].
382
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:01,919
♪ ♪
383
00:17:01,921 --> 00:17:04,122
But then,
Leonov secretly real--
384
00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:07,191
he can real--
he can--he found a nozzle,
385
00:17:07,193 --> 00:17:10,561
so he had to--
[imitates air sputtering out]
386
00:17:10,563 --> 00:17:11,529
to depressurize.
387
00:17:11,531 --> 00:17:14,465
And his temperature--
his temperature spikes.
388
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:16,601
He's almost got the bends.
389
00:17:16,603 --> 00:17:17,502
He nearly kills himself,
390
00:17:17,504 --> 00:17:22,006
just to get back inside
to the spacecraft.
391
00:17:22,008 --> 00:17:24,675
He's in!
That should be the most of it.
392
00:17:24,677 --> 00:17:26,444
He's in,
and then,
393
00:17:26,446 --> 00:17:28,813
they can't get
the hatch closed.
394
00:17:28,815 --> 00:17:32,050
Like noth--
like, sitcom style,
395
00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:35,787
nothing's going to go right
for these guys.
396
00:17:35,789 --> 00:17:36,954
Aw, [bleep].
397
00:17:36,956 --> 00:17:38,122
Why am I looking at this one--
398
00:17:38,124 --> 00:17:39,757
Should I be looking
at anywhere else
399
00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:42,326
other than this
one point on the couch?
400
00:17:42,328 --> 00:17:43,194
- [chuckles]
401
00:17:43,196 --> 00:17:45,930
- So--so anyway,
they fix the hatch.
402
00:17:45,932 --> 00:17:46,764
Great, fine, great.
403
00:17:46,766 --> 00:17:51,502
But that throws the balance off
on the whole goddamn machine,
404
00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:53,838
so they're stuck
twirling around.
405
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:55,540
So Leonov says to Pavel,
406
00:17:55,542 --> 00:17:58,843
Like, we gotta land this
right [bleep] now.
407
00:17:58,845 --> 00:18:00,378
They're trying
to figure it out.
408
00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:02,780
They're trying to calculate
the trajectory
409
00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:05,917
to get back,
just land on Russian soil.
410
00:18:05,919 --> 00:18:08,686
If we land,
and we land in China,
411
00:18:08,688 --> 00:18:10,054
that'll be [bleep] up,
412
00:18:10,056 --> 00:18:14,358
because of...something
that Wikipedia tells us.
413
00:18:14,360 --> 00:18:17,061
They twirl towards the Earth,
414
00:18:17,063 --> 00:18:20,064
and then wait, whoa, whoa...
415
00:18:20,066 --> 00:18:22,767
Kaboof.
We landed.
416
00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:26,404
Oh, man, we should
get out of this capsule.
417
00:18:26,406 --> 00:18:28,139
Ah, oh, we got--
Oh, we got--
418
00:18:28,141 --> 00:18:32,076
We can't get out--we can't
get out of this capsule!"
419
00:18:32,078 --> 00:18:34,345
We should blow the doors!
420
00:18:34,347 --> 00:18:34,812
How?
421
00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:39,517
With these tiny explosives
we're provided with.
422
00:18:39,852 --> 00:18:41,452
[imitates small explosion]
423
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:43,354
Oh, good, we're out.
424
00:18:43,356 --> 00:18:44,789
Oh, where are we?
425
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:47,525
Oh, we're in the tundra.
426
00:18:47,527 --> 00:18:49,360
- Oh, don't do that,
don't do that.
427
00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:52,530
- I know.
I know how TV works.
428
00:18:52,532 --> 00:18:58,903
All right, they land 2,000
kilometers off their mark,
429
00:18:58,905 --> 00:19:01,305
in Siberia,
430
00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:03,708
which is a real place...
431
00:19:03,710 --> 00:19:09,680
In the middle of mating season
for wolves and bears.
432
00:19:09,682 --> 00:19:14,218
It's below-zero temperatures,
wolves, bears,
433
00:19:14,220 --> 00:19:15,853
all with just boners.
434
00:19:15,855 --> 00:19:20,158
- Jesus.
- Lookin' to [bleep].
435
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:21,058
- [laughs]
436
00:19:21,060 --> 00:19:23,494
- And all they can say
to each other is,
437
00:19:23,496 --> 00:19:27,231
Well, I guess...
438
00:19:27,233 --> 00:19:29,600
we should start...
439
00:19:29,602 --> 00:19:31,969
with some sweet kisses.
440
00:19:31,971 --> 00:19:36,674
[both laugh]
441
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:39,810
- Come on, man.
What--what--how much more--
442
00:19:39,812 --> 00:19:41,779
- Well, what happened
to them after--
443
00:19:41,781 --> 00:19:43,748
- Der--Derek, don't say nothing.
444
00:19:43,750 --> 00:19:45,583
- Yeah, I just want
to get what--
445
00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:49,153
- It's--they're in Siberia.
446
00:19:49,155 --> 00:19:53,291
They're blasting flares out.
Ptoo! Ptoo!
447
00:19:53,293 --> 00:19:56,027
They don't even have food,
448
00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:57,295
or Sprites.
449
00:19:57,297 --> 00:20:00,831
And then, after 30 hours,
450
00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:01,899
they fi--
451
00:20:01,901 --> 00:20:04,268
[bottle thuds]
Finally they got rescued.
452
00:20:04,270 --> 00:20:07,471
[triumphant music]
453
00:20:07,473 --> 00:20:11,642
♪ ♪
454
00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:13,277
You wouldn't even
believe it.
455
00:20:13,279 --> 00:20:14,345
- [chuckles]
- Oh!
456
00:20:14,347 --> 00:20:18,950
They're just some lunatics that
said "yes" to an experiment.
457
00:20:18,952 --> 00:20:23,287
Cosmonauts, astronauts,
any kind of 'naut.
458
00:20:23,289 --> 00:20:27,625
Did, yes.
The 'nauts yessed.
459
00:20:27,627 --> 00:20:30,962
The 'nauts said, "Why not?"
460
00:20:30,964 --> 00:20:32,830
- [laughs]
- Where da--where da--
461
00:20:32,832 --> 00:20:35,066
Where da button?
Where da button?
462
00:20:35,068 --> 00:20:38,269
[patriotic music]
463
00:20:38,271 --> 00:20:46,611
♪ ♪
464
00:20:59,358 --> 00:21:01,626
- You're feeling like
E.T. in the river.
465
00:21:01,628 --> 00:21:04,428
- It was the first time in my
life I've never been hungry.
466
00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:06,197
- [laughs loudly]
467
00:21:06,199 --> 00:21:07,164
- Oh, God.
468
00:21:07,166 --> 00:21:08,199
It's so crazy, getting drunk
469
00:21:08,201 --> 00:21:11,636
with 39 people,
but nothing's made me more sick
470
00:21:11,638 --> 00:21:11,669
than that [bleep].