1 00:00:11,378 --> 00:00:16,482 - So, Po'pay marched 2,500 people into Santa Fe. 2 00:00:16,484 --> 00:00:18,484 The Spanish, they're like, What do we do. 3 00:00:18,486 --> 00:00:21,653 - Ernest Thompson Seton gets out to New Mexico and he says, 4 00:00:21,655 --> 00:00:24,490 I hear there's all these wolves to kill. 5 00:00:24,492 --> 00:00:27,893 [imitates gunshots] 6 00:00:27,895 --> 00:00:28,627 - [laughs] 7 00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:30,629 - Major Jesse Marcel says, 8 00:00:30,631 --> 00:00:32,865 We have discovered... 9 00:00:32,867 --> 00:00:34,900 a crashed flying saucer. 10 00:00:34,902 --> 00:00:38,904 Ah! - [laughs] 11 00:00:38,906 --> 00:00:42,341 [patriotic music] 12 00:00:42,343 --> 00:00:50,416 ♪ ♪ 13 00:00:53,386 --> 00:00:54,653 - What I love about New Mexico. 14 00:00:54,655 --> 00:00:58,390 - Not going outside, that's for one thing. 15 00:00:58,392 --> 00:00:59,858 You burst into flame if you go outside. 16 00:00:59,860 --> 00:01:02,528 - People don't know that there's a Mexico 17 00:01:02,530 --> 00:01:03,228 and a New Mexico. 18 00:01:03,230 --> 00:01:04,463 They think it's the same thing. - Right. 19 00:01:04,465 --> 00:01:06,832 - And then they think we all speak Spanish. 20 00:01:06,834 --> 00:01:09,134 I don't speak a lick of Spanish. [laughs] 21 00:01:09,136 --> 00:01:11,603 - It's the land of enchantment. - Land of entrapment. 22 00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:13,672 - Land of entrapment. - Land of entrapment. 23 00:01:13,674 --> 00:01:16,408 - You come on vacation, you leave on probation. 24 00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:17,876 - Holla. - That's it. 25 00:01:17,878 --> 00:01:19,678 - [laughs] 26 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:21,580 - Cheers. I'm so glad you're doing this. 27 00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:23,549 - Cheers. Thanks for having me. 28 00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:24,416 - Thank you. 29 00:01:24,418 --> 00:01:26,051 - I can't wait to get hammered with you. 30 00:01:26,053 --> 00:01:26,852 That guy just pulled over 31 00:01:26,854 --> 00:01:29,922 to put something in my trash cans. 32 00:01:29,924 --> 00:01:30,622 [laughs] Trouble! 33 00:01:30,624 --> 00:01:34,426 - I kinda want to see what he put in your trash cans. 34 00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:34,960 - [laughs] 35 00:01:34,962 --> 00:01:36,562 - This could turn into a whole new show. 36 00:01:36,564 --> 00:01:39,631 - This is like "Vice." 37 00:01:40,533 --> 00:01:42,568 - I'm not kidding, there's Wet Ones in there. 38 00:01:42,570 --> 00:01:44,036 - Eww, no! 39 00:01:44,038 --> 00:01:45,504 - No respect. - Adherence. 40 00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:47,539 - This is a family neighborhood, you can't just 41 00:01:47,541 --> 00:01:50,442 eat Wendy's and masturbate. - [laughs] 42 00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:54,513 - Hi, I'm Fortune Feimster, and today we're gonna talk about 43 00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:57,616 Po'pay and the Pueblo Revolt. 44 00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:59,818 (Western music] 45 00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:02,654 Our story starts in the 1600s. 46 00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:05,524 There were people called the Pueblo Indians, 47 00:02:05,526 --> 00:02:10,829 and they were living peacefully, doing their thing, 48 00:02:10,831 --> 00:02:11,763 being Indians. 49 00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:15,567 There's this Pueblo Indian named Po'pay. 50 00:02:15,569 --> 00:02:16,668 He's, like, very charismatic, 51 00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:20,205 everyone wanted to hang out with him, 52 00:02:20,207 --> 00:02:22,141 s--life of the party. 53 00:02:22,143 --> 00:02:24,776 That would be Po'pay. [both laugh] 54 00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:29,715 So, in 1675, the Spanish came in 55 00:02:29,717 --> 00:02:30,849 and took over the Pueblo area, 56 00:02:30,851 --> 00:02:36,688 so Po'pay was like, This is my place. 57 00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:37,289 Don't bother us. 58 00:02:37,291 --> 00:02:39,024 We're doing our Indian stuff. 59 00:02:39,026 --> 00:02:41,026 The governor, Treviño, was like, 60 00:02:41,028 --> 00:02:44,997 I'm worried about you Pueblo Indians and your teachings, 61 00:02:44,999 --> 00:02:50,035 and I'm worried that it's gonna impede on my Christian beliefs. 62 00:02:50,037 --> 00:02:52,905 So, they-- he gathered up 63 00:02:52,907 --> 00:02:57,176 a bunch of Pueblo Indian leaders and he was like, 64 00:02:57,178 --> 00:02:58,210 You're a witch! 65 00:02:58,212 --> 00:02:59,945 He killed like four of 'em. 66 00:02:59,947 --> 00:03:04,082 So Po'pay was like, I'm gonna get you back. 67 00:03:04,084 --> 00:03:08,253 So one night, Po'pay gets a message 68 00:03:08,255 --> 00:03:12,124 from this god called Pohe-Yemo-- 69 00:03:12,126 --> 00:03:13,192 - Shamu. - Which sounds like Shamu! 70 00:03:13,194 --> 00:03:16,094 My brothers called me Shamu when I was little. 71 00:03:16,096 --> 00:03:18,197 - That's not nice. - It's not nice. 72 00:03:18,199 --> 00:03:19,665 I was like, [bleep] you! 73 00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:23,202 So, Pohe-Yemo, he was like, 74 00:03:23,204 --> 00:03:26,805 You need to get everybody together. 75 00:03:26,807 --> 00:03:28,941 You speak all the dialects. 76 00:03:28,943 --> 00:03:32,611 You--you have the power to get everybody together 77 00:03:32,613 --> 00:03:36,648 and--and bring--and-- and bring everybody together 78 00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:40,819 to revolt, and so, let's do this, like, 79 00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:42,788 use your powers for good. 80 00:03:42,790 --> 00:03:47,192 So Po'pay gathers 70 different communities. 81 00:03:47,194 --> 00:03:51,663 Po'pay gives all these leaders a piece of rope, 82 00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:54,266 and he was like, Every day, you untie a knot, 83 00:03:54,268 --> 00:03:58,837 and then when these knots are untied, we gonna revolt! 84 00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:02,975 So every day, the Poi-- the Pueblos untied the knots, 85 00:04:02,977 --> 00:04:08,113 they use like deerskin, like smoke signals, 86 00:04:08,115 --> 00:04:11,149 um, text messages... 87 00:04:11,151 --> 00:04:13,952 [laughter] 88 00:04:13,954 --> 00:04:18,290 - But, Po'pay was super insecure, 89 00:04:18,292 --> 00:04:21,293 and he was like, I don't trust anybody, 90 00:04:21,295 --> 00:04:25,330 and so, you guys have to keep secrets, 91 00:04:25,332 --> 00:04:26,765 and if you don't keep a secret, 92 00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:32,771 I will, like, "Soprano" style murder you. 93 00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:33,805 But then there were two assholes 94 00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:37,776 who ended up telling the secret anyway to a priest, 95 00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:40,178 so the--so the priest says to the governor, 96 00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:45,150 Look, I just heard from these two little bitches 97 00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:50,088 that...that Po'pay-- he's angry, 98 00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:52,758 and he's got all these Pueblos that are coming for you. 99 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:56,728 And then Juan...Pablo--no, 100 00:04:56,730 --> 00:04:59,965 Juan Pablo is my gardener. 101 00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:03,802 Juan Francisco Treviño told all the Spanish people, 102 00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:08,940 Get to Santa Fe! Some [bleep] about to go down. 103 00:05:08,942 --> 00:05:11,376 Close the doors. 104 00:05:11,378 --> 00:05:14,713 And he's like, Nobody's coming in here... 105 00:05:14,715 --> 00:05:16,782 no matter what. 106 00:05:16,784 --> 00:05:19,284 And so, somebody comes to Po'pay and is like, 107 00:05:19,286 --> 00:05:23,055 Hey, look, you gotta start the revolt like ASAP. 108 00:05:23,057 --> 00:05:25,290 Like, immediately. 109 00:05:25,292 --> 00:05:26,325 He was like, 110 00:05:26,327 --> 00:05:29,194 You need to send out a Bat-Signal... 111 00:05:29,196 --> 00:05:32,764 A smoke signal... not a Bat-Signal. 112 00:05:32,766 --> 00:05:34,066 So he was like, 113 00:05:34,068 --> 00:05:36,268 Hey, listen, Pueblos, 114 00:05:36,270 --> 00:05:37,669 tonight's the night. 115 00:05:37,671 --> 00:05:40,072 We're gonna [bleep] up some Spanish people. 116 00:05:40,074 --> 00:05:42,908 We're doing this now! We're revolting! 117 00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:47,746 Come on, Pueblos, let's get it together. 118 00:05:47,748 --> 00:05:51,883 And, so, in August 1680, 119 00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:55,354 Po'pay marched 2,500 people 120 00:05:55,356 --> 00:05:56,822 into--into Santa Fe, 121 00:05:56,824 --> 00:06:01,360 and he went to the palace and he started attacking them, 122 00:06:01,362 --> 00:06:04,830 and they were--they were shooting back and forth 123 00:06:04,832 --> 00:06:06,198 at each other, 124 00:06:06,200 --> 00:06:08,066 and Po'pay was like, 125 00:06:08,068 --> 00:06:12,070 We're gonna show that governor who's boss. 126 00:06:12,072 --> 00:06:14,072 Po'pay cut off their water supply. 127 00:06:14,074 --> 00:06:17,242 He's like, If you don't have water, 128 00:06:17,244 --> 00:06:19,311 you can't do anything. 129 00:06:19,313 --> 00:06:20,846 And they were like, What do we do? 130 00:06:20,848 --> 00:06:24,783 They just sat there like a bunch of bitches. 131 00:06:24,785 --> 00:06:28,420 After six days, Po'pay was like, 132 00:06:28,422 --> 00:06:32,824 I'm tired of losing men. I'm tired of people dying. 133 00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:36,061 I got things to do. I'm hungry. 134 00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:39,998 He's like, I'ma let you go. I'ma let you guys go. 135 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:43,468 Normally, in history, you hear about Indians 136 00:06:43,470 --> 00:06:45,270 gettin', like, [bleep]ed, 137 00:06:45,272 --> 00:06:49,141 but this story, the Indians came out on top. 138 00:06:49,143 --> 00:06:53,145 He was like, pfft, [bleep] you guys. 139 00:06:53,147 --> 00:06:54,279 Burn it down. 140 00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:56,848 This is my jam. This is my palace. 141 00:06:56,850 --> 00:07:00,118 He ruled Santa Fe, burned down all the stuff 142 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:01,720 the Spaniards had put up, 143 00:07:01,722 --> 00:07:04,156 and New Mexico, to this day, 144 00:07:04,158 --> 00:07:07,893 has Spanish influence, Indian influence, 145 00:07:07,895 --> 00:07:13,031 and some methamphetamines' influence as well. 146 00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:13,999 - [laughs] 147 00:07:14,001 --> 00:07:15,934 - Do you feel like we've talked-- 148 00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:18,303 Do you feel like we've talked America enough? 149 00:07:18,305 --> 00:07:19,171 - We do. We-- - What else? 150 00:07:19,173 --> 00:07:22,307 - I do. - What else do you want from us? 151 00:07:22,309 --> 00:07:25,744 - I-- - Go to school! 152 00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:26,812 - [laughs] 153 00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:32,150 - What are you drinking? 154 00:07:32,152 --> 00:07:35,887 - I'm drinking a vodka and a soda and a lime. 155 00:07:35,889 --> 00:07:37,789 - Plural, though. - Look at all these limes. 156 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:40,292 One, two, three, four... 157 00:07:40,294 --> 00:07:41,827 ♪ My baby don't mess around ♪ 158 00:07:41,829 --> 00:07:44,663 ♪ Because she loves me so, and that I know--da-- ♪ 159 00:07:44,665 --> 00:07:45,797 - Can't clear that. - [laughs] 160 00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:50,168 Is that--was it too accurate, that we can't even use it? 161 00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:52,737 - Maybe it wasn't. - [laughs] 162 00:07:52,739 --> 00:07:54,906 Hello, I'm Mike Still, and today we're gonna 163 00:07:54,908 --> 00:07:57,809 talk about Ernest Thompson Seton, 164 00:07:57,811 --> 00:08:02,814 the founder of the Boy Scouts of America. 165 00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:03,815 - Cheers. 166 00:08:06,085 --> 00:08:09,821 - Ernest Thompson Seton was born to a really mean dad. 167 00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:12,824 His life at home was awful, 168 00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:15,227 so he ran out in the woods 169 00:08:15,229 --> 00:08:18,163 and it was a place that he could truly explore, 170 00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:21,833 and he said, I am a human that exists 171 00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:24,736 among birds, among beavers, 172 00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:28,406 among badgers, among animals. 173 00:08:28,408 --> 00:08:31,843 He got to fantasize about being an Indian 174 00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:35,714 and he drew the most beautiful pictures of birds. 175 00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:39,684 So in 1893, he meets his girlfriend's father, 176 00:08:39,686 --> 00:08:41,219 Fitz Randolph, and he was like, 177 00:08:41,221 --> 00:08:43,154 We got all this problems out in New Mexico. 178 00:08:43,156 --> 00:08:44,890 We got these wolves. They're killing us. 179 00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:48,793 All of our cattle-- they're getting out there, 180 00:08:48,795 --> 00:08:49,561 they're eating the cattle. 181 00:08:49,563 --> 00:08:50,729 We just need someone to, like, help us out. 182 00:08:50,731 --> 00:08:53,265 We just need someone. 183 00:08:53,267 --> 00:08:55,834 And Ernest is like, 184 00:08:55,836 --> 00:08:57,869 I'll do it. 185 00:08:57,871 --> 00:09:00,205 No problem. 186 00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:02,474 He's spent a ton of time in the wild. 187 00:09:02,476 --> 00:09:03,408 He's very used to this. 188 00:09:03,410 --> 00:09:06,912 So, Ernest gets out to New Mexico, and he's like, 189 00:09:06,914 --> 00:09:08,780 I hear there's all these wolves to kill. 190 00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:11,016 And the cowboys are like, 191 00:09:11,018 --> 00:09:14,252 No, no, no, man. There's one. 192 00:09:14,254 --> 00:09:16,821 His name is Lobo, 193 00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:20,926 the King of Currumpaw-ba-ba. 194 00:09:20,928 --> 00:09:23,895 The King of Currumpaw. 195 00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:27,065 Seton's like, Let's do this. 196 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,900 And then it says that he works through the woods, 197 00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:31,002 he's tracking the animal. 198 00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:32,137 He looks, he picks up a leaf. 199 00:09:32,139 --> 00:09:35,373 Oh, Lobo, you've been here. 200 00:09:35,375 --> 00:09:36,441 And Lobo's like, 201 00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:39,311 Yes, you know I have. 202 00:09:39,313 --> 00:09:41,046 You know I have. 203 00:09:41,048 --> 00:09:45,784 Well, I'm on my way to get you. 204 00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:48,987 All he wants to do is kill this wolf. 205 00:09:48,989 --> 00:09:50,255 [arrow whooshing noise] 206 00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:52,958 With some sort of bow and arrow, 207 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:54,893 a rifle... 208 00:09:54,895 --> 00:09:56,494 [blows] 209 00:10:00,232 --> 00:10:02,834 [gun noises] 210 00:10:02,836 --> 00:10:04,836 - [laughs] 211 00:10:04,838 --> 00:10:07,038 - Just showing how you kill a wolf. 212 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:07,872 But he can't do it. 213 00:10:07,874 --> 00:10:10,175 He's... 214 00:10:10,177 --> 00:10:14,479 a total smart [bleep]ing wolf. 215 00:10:14,481 --> 00:10:17,082 So he's hunting Lobo for four months. 216 00:10:17,084 --> 00:10:17,949 All of a sudden, 217 00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:19,317 he's like lookin' out on the prairie, and he's like, 218 00:10:19,319 --> 00:10:21,953 Why am I seeing this wolf during the day? 219 00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:25,357 And it turns out Lobo was hangin' out 220 00:10:25,359 --> 00:10:28,226 with the hottest wolf that's ever existed, 221 00:10:28,228 --> 00:10:31,162 and she's super [bleep]ing hot. 222 00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:32,330 Real hot. 223 00:10:32,332 --> 00:10:34,199 So, um... [both laugh] 224 00:10:34,201 --> 00:10:36,234 - Lobo and Blanca were hanging out, 225 00:10:36,236 --> 00:10:40,071 and they were the super coolest humans to ever hang out. 226 00:10:40,073 --> 00:10:43,008 They were super chill. 227 00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:44,009 Ernest realizes, 228 00:10:44,011 --> 00:10:46,845 The only thing that could kill Lobo 229 00:10:46,847 --> 00:10:50,081 is the most dangerous weapon of all... 230 00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:51,282 Love. 231 00:10:51,284 --> 00:10:53,985 Ernest and his boys go after Blanca, 232 00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:55,420 they go after her, 233 00:10:55,422 --> 00:10:57,489 and they-- they capture Blanca. 234 00:10:57,491 --> 00:11:01,926 They know that she is the way to get Lobo. 235 00:11:01,928 --> 00:11:04,963 So then, they pull her back and they kill her. 236 00:11:06,465 --> 00:11:09,134 Just totally done. It's done. They got her. 237 00:11:09,136 --> 00:11:11,002 They got her! They got her. 238 00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:13,938 And Seton's like, Now we can get Lobo. 239 00:11:13,940 --> 00:11:16,408 A--a--a--a--and he takes her corpse 240 00:11:16,410 --> 00:11:20,345 back to his camp, and he hears, that night, 241 00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:23,882 the sad--the sad howl. 242 00:11:23,884 --> 00:11:26,985 [howling] 243 00:11:35,161 --> 00:11:38,029 [laughs] 244 00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:43,068 And Lobo came closer than he ever did before, and... 245 00:11:43,070 --> 00:11:45,437 [banging noises] 246 00:11:45,439 --> 00:11:47,138 He was caught by four traps. 247 00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:50,175 And Seton came out, and was like, 248 00:11:50,177 --> 00:11:51,643 Got him. We got him. 249 00:11:51,645 --> 00:11:54,245 But then, he looked in this animal's eyes, 250 00:11:54,247 --> 00:11:56,081 and he realized this was someone that was heartbroken. 251 00:11:56,083 --> 00:11:59,651 This was someone that was completely heartbroken. 252 00:11:59,653 --> 00:12:02,153 So Seton said, I'm not gonna kill him. 253 00:12:02,155 --> 00:12:04,656 I'm gonna-- he carried him back, 254 00:12:04,658 --> 00:12:06,324 he gave him meat, 255 00:12:06,326 --> 00:12:07,092 and then he died. 256 00:12:07,094 --> 00:12:09,561 But this [bleep]ed him up. 257 00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:10,695 He couldn't believe that he had, like, 258 00:12:10,697 --> 00:12:13,898 killed this animal. Yeah, he was just like, 259 00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:14,966 What the [bleep] did I do here? 260 00:12:14,968 --> 00:12:18,203 Like, I [bleep]ing killed this beautiful animal, 261 00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:20,171 that somehow it was okay to, like, kill things? 262 00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:22,440 Why? Why? 263 00:12:22,442 --> 00:12:25,944 Why? Like, in capital letters. 264 00:12:25,946 --> 00:12:27,078 So he put out a book. 265 00:12:27,080 --> 00:12:30,682 It was called "Wild Animals I Have Known." 266 00:12:30,684 --> 00:12:32,951 He gives the animals in his book 267 00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:34,018 personalities and thoughts, 268 00:12:34,020 --> 00:12:36,955 and most people can't [bleep]ing deal with that. 269 00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:39,958 It blows their [bleep]ing minds. 270 00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:43,061 So after years... [sighs] 271 00:12:44,630 --> 00:12:46,264 Years later, in 1902, 272 00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:50,335 he's writing books, he's drawing pictures of birds. 273 00:12:50,337 --> 00:12:52,403 And then all of a sudden, he hears all this noise, 274 00:12:52,405 --> 00:12:54,939 and he looks out-- What is going on out here? 275 00:12:54,941 --> 00:12:57,175 Tons of boys start vandalizing his house. 276 00:12:57,177 --> 00:13:01,379 He just runs after these boys, and they're like, 277 00:13:01,381 --> 00:13:03,615 Sorry, man, we come from troubled homes. 278 00:13:03,617 --> 00:13:05,250 We had abusive dads. 279 00:13:05,252 --> 00:13:06,718 And Ernest is like, 280 00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:10,121 Whoa, what the [bleep]? 281 00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:12,123 You're just like me. 282 00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:13,224 He says, All right. 283 00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:17,195 I need to get all these boys together 284 00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:19,230 and hang out on Easter. 285 00:13:19,232 --> 00:13:22,000 And they're like, What is this guy's deal? 286 00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:24,702 We have no idea what he's going to do. 287 00:13:24,704 --> 00:13:26,004 And he's like, 288 00:13:26,006 --> 00:13:27,238 You thought I was gonna reprimand you. 289 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:31,075 Guess what? We're learning about woods! 290 00:13:31,077 --> 00:13:32,677 We're learning about survival. 291 00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:34,379 We're learning about trees. 292 00:13:34,381 --> 00:13:35,647 We're learning about all the things 293 00:13:35,649 --> 00:13:38,149 that humans need to know to prosper. 294 00:13:38,151 --> 00:13:42,687 He called his hangout the Woodcraft Indians. 295 00:13:42,689 --> 00:13:48,426 It eventually grew into the Boy Scouts of America. 296 00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:50,595 [wolf howl] 297 00:13:51,297 --> 00:13:54,165 All right, so here we have--we're gonna do 298 00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:56,067 a slip knot. 299 00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:56,935 - Slip knot. - Pretty easy. 300 00:13:56,937 --> 00:13:59,137 So, all we want to do is go over... 301 00:13:59,139 --> 00:14:02,073 hold on, it's already pretty bent. 302 00:14:02,075 --> 00:14:04,576 So we go over this, right? 303 00:14:04,578 --> 00:14:06,778 Then we go over that. 304 00:14:06,780 --> 00:14:10,081 Oh, so we're gonna go over each knot. 305 00:14:10,083 --> 00:14:12,083 - Knot! 306 00:14:13,586 --> 00:14:14,719 And, so now, it's just a rope. 307 00:14:14,721 --> 00:14:16,621 - Not--just hold on. Wait--to go over here... 308 00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:19,757 We're gonna pull this though that--Oh, wait, hold on... 309 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:26,130 - I believe we are ready to get started! 310 00:14:26,132 --> 00:14:27,365 [applause] 311 00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:31,469 - My name is Norma, and I come from the planet Nyto. 312 00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:34,172 - I'm Bacoscia from the planet Venusia. 313 00:14:34,174 --> 00:14:38,376 On my planet, women rule. [whoos] 314 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:39,043 - Uh-oh. Uh-oh. 315 00:14:39,045 --> 00:14:42,747 All right, coming up is Daryl Walters 316 00:14:42,749 --> 00:14:45,950 from the planet Mudocon. 317 00:14:45,952 --> 00:14:48,019 His diet consists of whiskey and rice cakes. 318 00:14:48,021 --> 00:14:53,758 He's a Leo, and he wants to run for President one day. 319 00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:56,327 - L-O-L! - [laughter] 320 00:14:56,329 --> 00:14:57,896 - Hey, I finished all the vodka, so-- 321 00:14:57,898 --> 00:14:58,997 - Do you want to do a shot, though? 322 00:14:58,999 --> 00:15:01,799 - I'll do a shot with you. To every ufologist... 323 00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:04,769 who is seeking the truth out there. 324 00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:08,439 Who's digging deep and doing the legwork. 325 00:15:08,441 --> 00:15:09,741 This one goes for you. 326 00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:13,745 Oh, Mommy. 327 00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:17,048 Hello, today we're gonna be talking about 328 00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:21,920 the Roswell UFO crash of 1947. 329 00:15:25,824 --> 00:15:26,457 [burps] 330 00:15:26,459 --> 00:15:30,762 So Mac Brazel, a foreman for a sheep rancher, 331 00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:34,265 he sees some metallic pieces 332 00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:35,934 laying opossum-- upon his acreage. 333 00:15:35,936 --> 00:15:39,037 And he's like, Well this is very interesting. 334 00:15:39,039 --> 00:15:41,839 I mean, what the ding-dong could this really be? 335 00:15:41,841 --> 00:15:46,244 There are some things going on on this ranch 336 00:15:46,246 --> 00:15:48,980 that defy human explanation. 337 00:15:48,982 --> 00:15:52,884 So immediately, he contacts the local Army Air Force base. 338 00:15:52,886 --> 00:15:56,421 They send out a guy named Major Jesse Marcel, 339 00:15:56,423 --> 00:16:00,858 a very decorated, very smart individual, 340 00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:03,061 and Major Jesse Marcel's like, 341 00:16:03,063 --> 00:16:05,330 Well this is not from us. 342 00:16:05,332 --> 00:16:06,230 This is not from the Air Force. 343 00:16:06,232 --> 00:16:10,568 This is not from a crashed airplane. 344 00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:15,506 This is not crashed from a satellite. 345 00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:17,008 This must be alien. 346 00:16:17,010 --> 00:16:21,379 So, J--Major Jesse Marcel contacts the local paper 347 00:16:21,381 --> 00:16:22,013 and says, 348 00:16:22,015 --> 00:16:26,084 We have discovered... 349 00:16:26,086 --> 00:16:29,487 a crashed flying saucer. 350 00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:31,823 Holy [bleep]. 351 00:16:31,825 --> 00:16:32,790 In the newspaper, they actually put 352 00:16:32,792 --> 00:16:36,828 The military has recovered alien spacecrafts-- 353 00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:42,000 space...craft that has crashed with wreckage. 354 00:16:42,002 --> 00:16:45,436 The Pentagon is freaking out. 355 00:16:45,438 --> 00:16:47,338 So they're basically saying, 356 00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:49,040 Oh, Jesus Christ, Project Mogul, 357 00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:51,175 you know that thing we're doing? 358 00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:53,978 The balloon that we're testing with microphones 359 00:16:53,980 --> 00:16:59,217 trying to detect Russian nuclear activity? 360 00:16:59,219 --> 00:17:02,286 Our top-secret project has crashed 361 00:17:02,288 --> 00:17:04,956 on a sheep rancher's property, man. 362 00:17:04,958 --> 00:17:11,262 This was a--the most top secret 363 00:17:11,264 --> 00:17:12,597 project going on at the time, 364 00:17:12,599 --> 00:17:16,601 and Project Mogul was a weather balloom 365 00:17:16,603 --> 00:17:20,071 atmospheric craft that was going to detect 366 00:17:20,073 --> 00:17:25,209 sounds of a nuclear test going on 367 00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:26,944 with nuclear weapons. 368 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:29,480 All of a sudden, the Pentagon-- 369 00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:31,182 they are swarming the area. 370 00:17:31,184 --> 00:17:35,119 They're cornering off the whole area. 371 00:17:35,121 --> 00:17:36,320 They're picking up debris. 372 00:17:36,322 --> 00:17:39,223 The Pentagon kept the Air Force 373 00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:41,059 in the dark about this whole thing. 374 00:17:41,061 --> 00:17:43,594 So Major Jesse Marcel said, 375 00:17:43,596 --> 00:17:47,398 We are in the midst of a huge cover-up. 376 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,300 Holy [bleep], this is crazy. 377 00:17:49,302 --> 00:17:53,137 Which, for the Pentagon, is exactly what they wanted. 378 00:17:53,139 --> 00:17:57,008 Secret Military. Alien. 379 00:17:57,010 --> 00:17:59,210 The perfect smoke screen. 380 00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:03,014 Years go on and on, and no one gave a [bleep], 381 00:18:03,016 --> 00:18:05,183 and the local town people sort of forgot about it, 382 00:18:05,185 --> 00:18:06,484 and it wasn't a big deal. 383 00:18:06,486 --> 00:18:07,518 They're like, Oh, yeah, well, we don't-- 384 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:09,087 not really sure what happened, blah blah blah. 385 00:18:09,089 --> 00:18:12,056 Everyone forgot about it until 1978. 386 00:18:12,058 --> 00:18:15,626 Jesse Marcel, now a very aging man, 387 00:18:15,628 --> 00:18:20,098 calls up famed ufologist Stanton T. Friedman. 388 00:18:20,100 --> 00:18:23,634 I need to tell you a little bit of a story. 389 00:18:23,636 --> 00:18:26,304 It's the story of the Roswell UFO crash. 390 00:18:26,306 --> 00:18:28,506 Stanton Friedman's like, 391 00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:30,508 [whispers] I'm all ears. 392 00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:32,143 Give me the juice. 393 00:18:32,145 --> 00:18:35,113 Gimme the juice that I so desire. 394 00:18:39,885 --> 00:18:41,586 We're on a-- I'm sorry, I'm lost. 395 00:18:41,588 --> 00:18:44,355 Okay, uh-- - We're talking about Roswell. 396 00:18:45,424 --> 00:18:47,191 - [laughs] And...yeah. 397 00:18:47,193 --> 00:18:49,393 - [laughs] 398 00:18:49,395 --> 00:18:51,429 - So, Stanton Friedman flies down there 399 00:18:51,431 --> 00:18:53,464 from Northern California, and is just, like, 400 00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:56,267 I'm lovin' this. This is a great situation. 401 00:18:56,269 --> 00:19:00,338 Marcel, he gives him the whole Roswell spiel. 402 00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:02,340 Stanton Friedman hears all about this, 403 00:19:02,342 --> 00:19:04,609 and so he's like, 404 00:19:04,611 --> 00:19:05,376 Pay dirt. Eureka. 405 00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:08,346 I am going to write a book. 406 00:19:08,348 --> 00:19:11,682 And write a book he does. 407 00:19:11,684 --> 00:19:12,583 He writes a bestseller. 408 00:19:12,585 --> 00:19:17,355 Roswell now, which had been forgotten about for 30 years, 409 00:19:17,357 --> 00:19:20,958 becomes a huge deal, and thus is born 410 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:23,327 a whole new generation of ufologists. 411 00:19:23,329 --> 00:19:26,264 It must be an alien spacecraft... 412 00:19:26,266 --> 00:19:29,567 from another planet. 413 00:19:29,569 --> 00:19:30,301 Capisce? - Capisce. 414 00:19:30,303 --> 00:19:34,372 - In 1995, citizens kept on writing in, saying 415 00:19:34,374 --> 00:19:38,342 Can you please tell us what happened with Roswell? 416 00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:39,577 So the Pentagon says, 417 00:19:39,579 --> 00:19:40,711 All right, you deserve to know. 418 00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:43,414 We will release all the Freedom Informa-- 419 00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:47,251 Freedom of Information Act-- FOIA documents. 420 00:19:47,253 --> 00:19:47,985 They do so, 421 00:19:47,987 --> 00:19:51,722 and the whole story about Project Mogul comes out. 422 00:19:51,724 --> 00:19:54,792 The reality of the situation is--is that... 423 00:19:54,794 --> 00:19:57,929 extraterrestrial beings from another planet 424 00:19:57,931 --> 00:20:01,432 did not crash in the desert of Roswell, New Mexico. 425 00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:05,870 And, you know, now today Roswell, the town, 426 00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:09,640 refuses to acknowledge Project Mogul, 427 00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:11,676 so they are the ones projecting 428 00:20:11,678 --> 00:20:14,745 the UFO angle with all this stuff. 429 00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:18,282 Well, this is a-- kind of a rendition of 430 00:20:18,284 --> 00:20:21,819 the typical pleiadian gray alien. 431 00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:24,355 He's got the teardrop almond eyes, 432 00:20:24,357 --> 00:20:28,459 the nose with the limited slits, 433 00:20:28,461 --> 00:20:29,694 and...in the mouth. 434 00:20:29,696 --> 00:20:31,462 - How much did you pay for this thing? 435 00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:33,397 - 450 bucks. - Jesus. 436 00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:35,433 - Got a good deal. - They saw you coming... 437 00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:38,703 They didn't show you the back part 'till you left? 438 00:20:38,705 --> 00:20:39,837 - I didn't see that 'till I got home, 439 00:20:39,839 --> 00:20:42,707 and yeah, and I did feel like a--quite a heel for that. 440 00:20:42,709 --> 00:20:45,843 [patriotic music] 441 00:20:45,845 --> 00:20:53,351 ♪ ♪ 442 00:21:09,668 --> 00:21:10,701 - If I were living in the 1600s, 443 00:21:10,703 --> 00:21:11,602 I would want to be a-- a whore. 444 00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:14,472 - Why? - The--the Roundhouse. 445 00:21:14,474 --> 00:21:18,476 That would be my signature move. The Roundhouse. 446 00:21:18,478 --> 00:21:19,443 - What's The Roundhouse? 447 00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:21,579 Whoa. - That was your penis. 448 00:21:21,581 --> 00:21:21,612 - Thank you.