1
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:15,047
- The Wild West is Los Angeles.
2
00:00:15,049 --> 00:00:16,181
You're dead, you're dead.
3
00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:17,416
Everybody's [bleep] dead.
4
00:00:17,418 --> 00:00:18,550
Where did all this booze go?
5
00:00:18,552 --> 00:00:19,852
- He looked at Rin Tin Tin,
and he's like,
6
00:00:19,854 --> 00:00:22,788
You got to jump like you never
jumped before, okay, dude?
7
00:00:22,790 --> 00:00:23,689
So he's like, Yep.
8
00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:25,591
And Rin Tin Tin jumped it.
9
00:00:25,593 --> 00:00:26,825
[belches]
10
00:00:26,827 --> 00:00:29,461
- So Mulholland's like,
You just [bleep] build a pipe.
11
00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:32,131
Boop, and you
get to L.A.
12
00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:33,132
There's spies.
13
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There's bribery.
14
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There's manipulation.
15
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[bleep] me, man.
16
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Alcohol is crazy.
17
00:00:38,839 --> 00:00:42,041
[patriotic music]
18
00:00:42,043 --> 00:00:47,479
♪ ♪
19
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- You can have the dream
of America,
20
00:00:52,787 --> 00:00:53,919
and you can stop in Wichita,
21
00:00:53,921 --> 00:00:55,687
or you can really have
the dream of America
22
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and come on out to Los Angeles.
23
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- Anywhere--anytime you want
a Mexican food, you can get it,
24
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out of a truck, from a man--
or a woman.
25
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- They think that everybody
wants to be famous.
26
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No, we don't.
27
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It's not our
everyday life.
28
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- I love L.A.
29
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- Just, L.A. is wonderful.
30
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- It's a beautiful place.
31
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- It's also
fake as [bleep].
32
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- So you're gonna--
33
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I want to make you
an L.A. drink.
34
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- It's just lettuce.
35
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- This is gonna make you
[bleep] your brains out.
36
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[blender whirring]
37
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- It's like something
you see in "Double Dare."
38
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- To Los Angeles.
39
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You've got the most adorable
Hitler mustache.
40
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Hulk Hitler.
41
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Okay, Derek.
42
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- Hello, Seth.
43
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- What if I drank
all of this at once?
44
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- You know what
the Terminator said:
45
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"We make our future."
46
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Okay.
47
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- It was so much.
48
00:01:48,442 --> 00:01:49,374
Hello.
49
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I'm Seth Weitberg,
and today we're going to talk
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about the creation of the LAPD.
51
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In 1847, the leader of the
Mexican forces, Andres Pico,
52
00:02:00,955 --> 00:02:04,423
signs the treaty that
give California to America.
53
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And the Wild West
is Los Angeles.
54
00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:11,296
You've got Californios
that have been here forever.
55
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You've got Utah Indians.
56
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You've got Germans.
57
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You've got French.
58
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You've got Jews.
59
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But there's no police force.
60
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And one of the guys that
shows up is Benjamin Hayes.
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He's a lawyer, and he's like,
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Hey, guys, don't sweat it.
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I know American law.
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Like, I can help you out, okay.
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And he becomes the first ever
judge of Los Angeles.
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And he's like,
I hope we have a good jail.
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And someone's like,
68
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:35,420
Actually, it's just
a single room with a log
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with four chains
attached to it.
70
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And he's like, Oh, no...
71
00:02:41,095 --> 00:02:41,894
[laughs]
72
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So Judge Hayes is like,
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00:02:42,897 --> 00:02:45,731
Guys, we need
a [bleep] police force.
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00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:47,833
Why don't we all give
a little bit of money,
75
00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:48,767
we'll hire a police force,
76
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and we can be in control of
them and tell them what to do.
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And the people of Los Angeles
are like, Law enforcement?
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That's a stupid idea.
79
00:02:55,976 --> 00:03:00,345
You stupid [bleep] 35-year-old.
80
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Oh, no, wait a minute.
81
00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:03,482
Wait a minute.
82
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Where did all this booze go?
83
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- [laughing]
84
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- I drank it all.
85
00:03:09,056 --> 00:03:11,223
Okay, so there's a party.
86
00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:12,591
Andres Pico is there.
87
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He's like, I love your party.
88
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These ranches.
89
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Cool times, great oldies.
90
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And these gamblers
[bleep] hear, and they're like,
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00:03:19,266 --> 00:03:21,833
Uh, did we get invited
to that fiesta?
92
00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:23,769
No, no-no-n-n-n-no.
93
00:03:23,771 --> 00:03:24,703
Well, you want to go?
94
00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:25,737
Yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah-yeah.
95
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Should we bring anything?
96
00:03:26,740 --> 00:03:28,207
I mean, it's nice
to bring something.
97
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And they show up
with a cannon!
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[dramatic music]
99
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And they're like.
100
00:03:34,348 --> 00:03:36,515
Why didn't you guys
invite us?
101
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It's a common...
102
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[slowly]
courtesy.
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Andres Pico decides,
in that moment,
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[bleep] the law,
[bleep] Benjamin Hayes,
105
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[bleep] the court system,
106
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[bleep] California,
[bleep] America.
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You're stupid as [bleep]
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for bringing a cannon.
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00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:56,435
And I have a pistol,
and I'm gonna kill you.
110
00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:57,236
Bang-bang-bang!
111
00:03:57,238 --> 00:04:00,572
Hayes is like, No-no-no-no-
no-no-no-no-no-no!
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And everyone else is like,
113
00:04:02,710 --> 00:04:03,875
Oh, my God.
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00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:06,178
They don't think
that's a bad idea.
115
00:04:06,180 --> 00:04:07,913
Instead they think,
116
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That's a good idea.
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00:04:10,284 --> 00:04:12,184
And Andres Pico's like,
[bleep] right.
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Let's form a commi--
a vigilance committee.
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And he forms a vig--he forms
this vigilance committee.
120
00:04:17,391 --> 00:04:19,558
And they're like,
Hey, let's sit around.
121
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Let's, like, figure out,
like, who did a bad thing.
122
00:04:23,364 --> 00:04:25,731
If they did a bad thing,
let's get them.
123
00:04:25,733 --> 00:04:27,199
And someone comes
in the vigilance committee.
124
00:04:27,201 --> 00:04:29,935
They're like, Hey, there's
a couple murderers in the jail
125
00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:31,069
that we--that just escaped.
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Pico, like, chases down
these two murderers.
127
00:04:33,307 --> 00:04:34,206
Boom-boom-boom!
128
00:04:34,208 --> 00:04:35,107
[bleep] kills them.
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00:04:35,109 --> 00:04:37,876
And the L.A. Star,
the first newspaper in L.A.,
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00:04:37,878 --> 00:04:40,112
they're like, Form posses.
131
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This is a great idea.
132
00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:42,948
Get the bad guys.
133
00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:45,317
And everybody's like,
Oh, my God!
134
00:04:45,319 --> 00:04:47,019
We should form a posse!
135
00:04:47,021 --> 00:04:51,690
And hanging fever
breaks out in Los Angeles.
136
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Everyone's like,
Oh, you're vandalizing
137
00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:55,160
that building over there?
138
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I'ma hang you.
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00:04:56,030 --> 00:04:57,162
You just stole a horse?
140
00:04:57,164 --> 00:04:57,963
I'ma hang you.
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00:04:57,965 --> 00:04:59,798
Oh, you just [bleep]
murdered someone?
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00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,099
I'm definitely gonna hang you.
143
00:05:01,101 --> 00:05:02,868
I'll probably shoot you
in the street
144
00:05:02,870 --> 00:05:04,069
before I even hang you.
145
00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:06,938
By 1855, in Los Annngggeles,
146
00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:10,375
there's a murder
every single day.
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It's like the Terrordome.
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Hayes is like, The vigilance
committee has gone too far.
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00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:18,183
I'm going to issue a warrant
150
00:05:18,185 --> 00:05:21,053
to arrest these vigilantes.
151
00:05:21,055 --> 00:05:22,854
No one's ever heard
of vigilantes,
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00:05:22,856 --> 00:05:24,523
but they're called vigilantes.
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00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:25,457
I'm making up this term.
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00:05:25,459 --> 00:05:29,294
Judge Hayes goes out
to the homes of the vigilantes.
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00:05:29,296 --> 00:05:31,396
And he's like, I have a warrant
for your arrest
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00:05:31,398 --> 00:05:32,497
because you're vigilantes.
157
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:36,702
And they're like,
Well, in that case...
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00:05:36,704 --> 00:05:40,339
[weakly]
I'm gonna stay in my house.
159
00:05:40,341 --> 00:05:41,707
I'm gonna stay in my house.
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00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:42,841
And he's like, Aw, man.
161
00:05:42,843 --> 00:05:44,876
I wish these people would just
come out of their house
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00:05:44,878 --> 00:05:49,348
so I could try them in a jury
with a trial.
163
00:05:49,350 --> 00:05:53,185
There's no police force!
164
00:05:53,187 --> 00:05:55,554
Thanks, you [bleep]--
165
00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:57,923
[laughter]
166
00:05:57,925 --> 00:05:59,458
What was that?
What was that?
167
00:05:59,460 --> 00:06:00,325
- The boom.
168
00:06:00,327 --> 00:06:01,093
Bo dropped the boom.
169
00:06:01,095 --> 00:06:03,095
- By the way, I have to pee
so bad right now.
170
00:06:03,097 --> 00:06:05,664
But I'm gonna finish this story,
and then I'm gonna pee,
171
00:06:05,666 --> 00:06:07,466
and then we're gonna have
good times, great oldies.
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00:06:07,468 --> 00:06:10,936
So, in 1857,
someone comes in, they're like,
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00:06:10,938 --> 00:06:14,506
Hey, Sheriff Barton
just got [bleep] killed.
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00:06:14,508 --> 00:06:17,075
And the vigilance committee
is like--
175
00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:18,143
[belches]
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00:06:18,145 --> 00:06:18,744
Crazy.
177
00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:20,078
You thought it was
bad before?
178
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:21,580
Pico's like,
You're dead, you're dead,
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00:06:21,582 --> 00:06:23,348
you're dead, you're dead,
you're dead.
180
00:06:23,350 --> 00:06:24,449
Everybody's [bleep] dead.
181
00:06:24,451 --> 00:06:26,752
Blood against the walls,
blood on the streets.
182
00:06:26,754 --> 00:06:27,686
Blop-blop-blop!
183
00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:28,553
[blows raspberry]
184
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:29,488
Everybody, dead, dead, dead,
185
00:06:29,490 --> 00:06:31,857
dead, dead, dead, dead, dead,
dead, dead, dead.
186
00:06:31,859 --> 00:06:32,758
Blood everywhere.
187
00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:36,194
And at the end of two weeks,
the L.A. Star, the newspaper,
188
00:06:36,196 --> 00:06:38,330
is finally like,
189
00:06:38,332 --> 00:06:40,866
Mm, I think we went too far.
190
00:06:40,868 --> 00:06:42,167
And Andres Pico is like,
191
00:06:42,169 --> 00:06:44,469
I just beheaded so many dudes.
192
00:06:44,471 --> 00:06:45,404
You know what?
193
00:06:45,406 --> 00:06:47,706
The better way for me is,
194
00:06:47,708 --> 00:06:50,275
I'm gonna go
into the state senate.
195
00:06:50,277 --> 00:06:51,777
I'm gonna be a politician.
196
00:06:51,779 --> 00:06:52,744
That's the way to do it.
197
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:56,415
Gandhi, MLK, you know,
that's how we do it.
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00:06:56,417 --> 00:06:58,917
And so, in 1869,
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00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:01,353
the people of Los Angeles
finally say,
200
00:07:01,355 --> 00:07:03,855
You know what, we should give
a little bit of money
201
00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:05,157
and have a police force.
202
00:07:05,159 --> 00:07:06,024
And Judge Hayes is like,
203
00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:12,030
That's what I asked for
in 1852, you [bleep] doofuses.
204
00:07:12,032 --> 00:07:12,864
And bottom line,
205
00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:16,668
that is where the LAPD
comes from.
206
00:07:16,670 --> 00:07:18,904
- Now we have law.
207
00:07:18,906 --> 00:07:20,472
- I can't feel my teeth.
208
00:07:20,474 --> 00:07:22,107
- [laughs]
209
00:07:25,344 --> 00:07:28,113
- Cheers to friendship and
the good city of Los Angeles.
210
00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:29,147
- I love it here, man.
211
00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:30,248
It gave us our dream.
212
00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:31,583
- City of Angels.
213
00:07:31,585 --> 00:07:33,084
- Yes, sir.
214
00:07:33,086 --> 00:07:35,387
- That'll be the day.
215
00:07:38,891 --> 00:07:40,959
I think you beat me.
216
00:07:42,895 --> 00:07:44,930
All right go on,
turn--oh.
217
00:07:44,932 --> 00:07:46,031
Oh, okay.
218
00:07:46,033 --> 00:07:47,599
I didn't know
that was happening again.
219
00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:49,468
- I'm sick of all the people
on message boards
220
00:07:49,470 --> 00:07:51,069
saying we're not
really drunk.
221
00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:52,938
[banging]
222
00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:57,275
- You do it
so gracefully.
223
00:07:57,277 --> 00:07:58,543
- I do, but--
224
00:07:58,545 --> 00:08:01,580
[belches]
225
00:08:01,582 --> 00:08:03,248
Hello, I'm Eric Edelstein,
226
00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:06,418
and today we're gonna
tell the story of Rin Tin Tin,
227
00:08:06,420 --> 00:08:09,087
Hollywood's first superstar.
228
00:08:09,089 --> 00:08:11,122
Our story starts in 1898.
229
00:08:11,124 --> 00:08:12,824
Lee Duncan is sent
to an orphanage.
230
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:16,094
He's like, Dude, Mom,
you're dropping me off?
231
00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:17,529
And his mom is like,
232
00:08:17,531 --> 00:08:19,331
Don't worry, it's fine.
233
00:08:19,333 --> 00:08:20,198
That's the deal.
234
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,868
And he's like, Man,
all I want is one friend.
235
00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:24,803
All I need in this life
is one friend,
236
00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:26,571
because he never had
anything, man.
237
00:08:26,573 --> 00:08:28,039
Well, then World War I happens.
238
00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:32,077
Lee Duncan is sent out
to a part of France,
239
00:08:32,079 --> 00:08:34,246
and he hears something.
240
00:08:34,248 --> 00:08:35,881
He's like, Holy [bleep].
241
00:08:35,883 --> 00:08:36,982
What's that sound?
242
00:08:36,984 --> 00:08:38,016
It's like...
243
00:08:38,018 --> 00:08:41,353
[whimpering]
244
00:08:41,921 --> 00:08:43,355
You know that sound, huh?
245
00:08:43,357 --> 00:08:47,058
He sees a German shepherd
covering five puppies.
246
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:51,763
There were 16 million
animal soldiers in World War I.
247
00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:52,931
And gives a way the mother
248
00:08:52,933 --> 00:08:54,199
to somebody
who wants the mother.
249
00:08:54,201 --> 00:08:56,034
And he gives away
all the puppies but two.
250
00:08:56,036 --> 00:09:00,305
And he's like, I'm gonna name
you Rin Tin Tin and Nanette.
251
00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:01,540
You just booked.
252
00:09:01,542 --> 00:09:02,974
- Cheers.
253
00:09:06,779 --> 00:09:09,648
- Ah, that's got a good taste.
254
00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:10,615
So the war eventually ends,
255
00:09:10,617 --> 00:09:14,586
and then Nanette gets very
sick, and Nanette passes away.
256
00:09:14,588 --> 00:09:16,021
And so all he has
is Rin Tin Tin,
257
00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:17,756
and so he wasn't sure
what he was gonna do.
258
00:09:17,758 --> 00:09:21,893
But he knew it was gonna
somehow involve Rin Tin Tin.
259
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,328
Only problem,
260
00:09:23,330 --> 00:09:24,362
a newspaper boy,
261
00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:26,197
some Bennie Arthur type asshole,
262
00:09:26,199 --> 00:09:30,569
comes by, throws a stack
of newspapers,
263
00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:34,005
and nails Rin Tin Tin
in the leg.
264
00:09:34,007 --> 00:09:35,040
And somebody says,
265
00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:36,808
This is a time where if your
dog's leg
266
00:09:36,810 --> 00:09:37,976
breaks in four places,
267
00:09:37,978 --> 00:09:40,512
unfortunately it's gonna
have to be probably put down.
268
00:09:40,514 --> 00:09:42,547
You get gangrene,
you get some weird [bleep].
269
00:09:42,549 --> 00:09:46,551
So he said, Man, this dog's leg
is broken in four places.
270
00:09:46,553 --> 00:09:49,054
The vet's told me
it's gonna take nine months.
271
00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:51,323
What am I gonna do?
272
00:09:51,325 --> 00:09:53,191
Dude, I'm gonna train it.
273
00:09:53,193 --> 00:09:55,260
And magic's gonna happen.
274
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:57,195
Lee trains him to sit.
275
00:09:57,197 --> 00:09:58,530
Lee trains him to fetch.
276
00:09:58,532 --> 00:09:59,931
Lee trains him to run.
277
00:09:59,933 --> 00:10:03,101
This dog is doing something
that is amazing.
278
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:06,471
So he brings Rin Tin Tin
to the Pasadena Dog Show,
279
00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:08,440
and his friend Charlie Jones
comes along.
280
00:10:08,442 --> 00:10:10,208
He's like, Hey,
want to do something?
281
00:10:10,210 --> 00:10:11,409
What about your dog there?
282
00:10:11,411 --> 00:10:12,344
Your dog's pretty cool.
283
00:10:12,346 --> 00:10:14,179
Maybe we can make him jump.
284
00:10:14,181 --> 00:10:18,183
And then they set up
an 11-foot, 8-foot jump.
285
00:10:18,185 --> 00:10:20,785
11-foot, 8-inch jump.
286
00:10:20,787 --> 00:10:22,954
He looked at Rin Tin Tin,
and he's like,
287
00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:24,356
Dude, this is your chance.
288
00:10:24,358 --> 00:10:26,324
I feel like fate and
circumstance
289
00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:28,126
has placed us here.
290
00:10:28,128 --> 00:10:28,893
You just got to jump.
291
00:10:28,895 --> 00:10:31,429
You got to jump like you never
jumped before, okay, dude?
292
00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:33,498
So he was like,
Yep, I'll jump.
293
00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:36,034
And Rin Tin Tin jumped it.
294
00:10:36,036 --> 00:10:38,436
Lee sees Rin Tin Tin jumping.
295
00:10:38,438 --> 00:10:39,871
He says, Holy [bleep], movies.
296
00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:42,674
This is--yeah, this is
what Rin Tin Tin
297
00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:43,541
is supposed to do.
298
00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:44,909
And then they say Rin Tin Tin--
299
00:10:44,911 --> 00:10:46,177
[clattering]
300
00:10:46,179 --> 00:10:47,512
Thank God you dropped that.
301
00:10:47,514 --> 00:10:49,948
I had no idea
where I was going.
302
00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:51,249
It was amazing.
303
00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:52,150
So, basically...
304
00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:52,951
[beer can pops open]
305
00:10:52,953 --> 00:10:54,452
Lee Duncan goes
over the Warner Brothers.
306
00:10:54,454 --> 00:10:56,888
So this guy literally
went to the gates
307
00:10:56,890 --> 00:10:59,324
and started doing tricks
with Rin Tin Tin.
308
00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:01,192
Harry Warner saw it,
and he's like,
309
00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:02,193
Look at that dog jump.
310
00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:03,128
That dog's pretty good.
311
00:11:03,130 --> 00:11:05,630
I'd be interested in what
that dog might be offering.
312
00:11:05,632 --> 00:11:06,898
Some producer comes out,
he's like,
313
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:08,166
Yeah, you know,
we got a wolf movie,
314
00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,467
but we could use,
like, an extra.
315
00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:11,336
He'll be buried
in the background.
316
00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:12,404
So he came in.
317
00:11:12,406 --> 00:11:13,238
The wolf they had--
318
00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:14,372
they had a real goddamn wolf.
319
00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:16,941
When it came time,
when the lights was on,
320
00:11:16,943 --> 00:11:17,776
the wolf sucked,
321
00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:20,145
so they couldn't get
this wolf to do the tricks.
322
00:11:20,147 --> 00:11:22,380
So Lee jumped up and said,
323
00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:24,649
Hey, Rin Tin Tin
looks like a wolf.
324
00:11:24,651 --> 00:11:26,151
They said, Rin Tin Tin,
325
00:11:26,153 --> 00:11:27,585
hey, man, can you be a wolf?
326
00:11:27,587 --> 00:11:29,187
Rin Tin Tin's like, Yeah.
327
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:31,222
Then, boom, it's on.
328
00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:32,557
Rin Tin Tin crushed.
329
00:11:32,559 --> 00:11:35,727
Imagine, like,
[bleep] Ryan Stiles '96.
330
00:11:35,729 --> 00:11:38,229
- [laughing]
331
00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:39,931
- That's how good
Rin Tin Tin was.
332
00:11:39,933 --> 00:11:41,499
Then Harry Warner says,
333
00:11:41,501 --> 00:11:44,836
Man, how can we get more money
out of that dog?
334
00:11:44,838 --> 00:11:47,505
That's when Lee Duncan
steps up and says,
335
00:11:47,507 --> 00:11:48,773
Dude, funny you should ask.
336
00:11:48,775 --> 00:11:51,710
I have a script
involving this dog.
337
00:11:51,712 --> 00:11:52,544
Let's do it.
338
00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:53,478
Harry Warner's like,
339
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:54,779
Yeah, this script's
pretty good.
340
00:11:54,781 --> 00:11:55,814
All right, let's do it.
341
00:11:55,816 --> 00:11:58,650
And so they make
Rin Tin Tin's first movie,
342
00:11:58,652 --> 00:11:59,818
and it's huge.
343
00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:01,186
The applause went on forever.
344
00:12:01,188 --> 00:12:05,290
And Rin Tin Tin went on
to make tons of movies.
345
00:12:05,292 --> 00:12:07,192
Ah, Rin Tin Tin is jumping.
346
00:12:07,194 --> 00:12:08,159
Rin Tin Tin is flying.
347
00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:09,661
Rin Tin Tin did his own stunts.
348
00:12:09,663 --> 00:12:12,497
So he became the biggest star
in Hollywood.
349
00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:15,533
Warner Brothers goes
from being worth $16 million
350
00:12:15,535 --> 00:12:19,738
to $200 million, like that,
because of a dog.
351
00:12:19,740 --> 00:12:21,239
You could really argue
Rin Tin Tin
352
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,508
was the best actor
in Hollywood at that time.
353
00:12:23,510 --> 00:12:25,777
Dude, the first ever
Academy Awards,
354
00:12:25,779 --> 00:12:27,178
they had actors vote
355
00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:28,847
on who the best actor
in the world is.
356
00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:31,916
Well, when the award
for best actor came back,
357
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:33,952
it was won by Rin Tin Tin,
358
00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:36,654
at which point they said,
We cannot have this.
359
00:12:36,656 --> 00:12:37,589
This is embarrassing.
360
00:12:37,591 --> 00:12:39,758
We want this award
to have some legitimacy.
361
00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:43,595
We cannot give it to
a goddamn dog.
362
00:12:43,597 --> 00:12:44,529
- To a dog.
363
00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:45,463
- And then they did a recount,
364
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:46,865
and they gave it
to some guy named Emil.
365
00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:50,935
And then, unfortunately,
in 1932, Rin Tin Tin dies.
366
00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:51,903
And America stops.
367
00:12:51,905 --> 00:12:56,641
Like, they cut into every
radio broadcast at the time.
368
00:12:56,643 --> 00:12:57,609
People are devastated.
369
00:12:57,611 --> 00:12:58,710
People are like,
Oh, my God.
370
00:12:58,712 --> 00:12:59,944
This is the biggest star
in the world.
371
00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:01,112
This is the biggest actor
in the world.
372
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:04,716
This is the only actor
we really love since Valentino,
373
00:13:04,718 --> 00:13:05,517
and he's dead.
374
00:13:05,519 --> 00:13:06,584
And so people are so sad,
375
00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:08,119
and people never thought
another Rin Tin Tin
376
00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:10,622
could come again,
and they were right.
377
00:13:10,624 --> 00:13:14,025
Dude, Rin Tin Tin, to me,
is the promise of L.A.
378
00:13:14,027 --> 00:13:16,361
Like, you can come down here
with a dream,
379
00:13:16,363 --> 00:13:18,763
and if you can do your job,
380
00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:21,032
man, it happens.
381
00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:22,801
This town is magic.
382
00:13:22,803 --> 00:13:25,637
I love Los Angeles
with all my heart.
383
00:13:25,639 --> 00:13:27,438
It's given me everything.
384
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:28,740
I pinch myself.
385
00:13:28,742 --> 00:13:31,943
Life is
so beautiful here.
386
00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:32,944
[fart]
387
00:13:32,946 --> 00:13:33,778
[bleep].
388
00:13:33,780 --> 00:13:35,313
Yes, excuse me.
389
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:37,515
I farted,
I admit it.
390
00:13:37,517 --> 00:13:38,216
But I'm allowed to.
391
00:13:38,218 --> 00:13:42,353
I got a great house,
girl, dog, everything.
392
00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:44,222
I farted.
393
00:13:47,426 --> 00:13:49,194
- This is the second
or third year in 80 years
394
00:13:49,196 --> 00:13:51,896
that anybody's been able
to kayak in the L.A. River.
395
00:13:51,898 --> 00:13:52,597
- I'm ready.
396
00:13:52,599 --> 00:13:53,765
Let's go down the L.A. River.
397
00:13:53,767 --> 00:13:54,732
- Let's go down there.
398
00:13:54,734 --> 00:13:56,134
- Ready when you are.
399
00:13:56,136 --> 00:13:58,136
- Oh, yeah!
400
00:13:58,138 --> 00:13:59,070
- The L.A. River
used to be
401
00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:02,707
the sole source of water
for the city of Los Angeles.
402
00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:04,843
- You know, when you
don't educate yourself,
403
00:14:04,845 --> 00:14:07,345
you just always imagine
the L.A. River's
404
00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:10,415
just the scene
from "Terminator."
405
00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:12,550
- We're gonna have
some rapids up ahead,
406
00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:13,518
so be careful.
407
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,486
- L.A. River--oh, [bleep]!
408
00:14:15,488 --> 00:14:17,155
- Sweep left, sweep left!
409
00:14:17,157 --> 00:14:18,122
- Whoa!
410
00:14:18,124 --> 00:14:19,324
- Awesome.
411
00:14:19,326 --> 00:14:21,092
Whoa, hang on,
hang on.
412
00:14:21,094 --> 00:14:22,260
- Oh, no!
413
00:14:22,262 --> 00:14:23,628
Oh, no!
414
00:14:23,630 --> 00:14:24,629
Oh!
415
00:14:24,631 --> 00:14:26,097
Ah!
416
00:14:26,099 --> 00:14:28,933
[blowing whistle]
417
00:14:30,169 --> 00:14:32,704
- Hello, I'm Jeremy Konner.
418
00:14:32,706 --> 00:14:36,107
And today we're going
to talk about--
419
00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:37,175
- [laughs]
420
00:14:37,177 --> 00:14:38,343
Sorry.
421
00:14:38,345 --> 00:14:40,712
[laughter]
422
00:14:40,714 --> 00:14:41,813
That's hello.
423
00:14:41,815 --> 00:14:42,847
You want to say hello.
424
00:14:42,849 --> 00:14:45,083
- I'm so [bleep] up, man.
425
00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:45,750
- No, I see.
426
00:14:45,752 --> 00:14:46,985
You're looking at me over here,
427
00:14:46,987 --> 00:14:47,785
and I'm over here.
428
00:14:47,787 --> 00:14:49,954
- You're the goddamn
director of this.
429
00:14:49,956 --> 00:14:50,655
- I know.
430
00:14:50,657 --> 00:14:52,490
I'm the goddamn director
of this.
431
00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:54,659
So far,
my favorite quote.
432
00:14:54,661 --> 00:14:55,927
Go on.
433
00:14:55,929 --> 00:14:58,863
- Hello, I'm Jeremy Konner.
434
00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:02,333
And today we're going
to be talking
435
00:15:02,335 --> 00:15:05,603
about the L.A. aqueduct.
436
00:15:05,605 --> 00:15:07,438
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
437
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:08,573
- Aqueduct.
438
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:12,410
- So William Mulholland
is the head
439
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:15,346
of the L.A. city water company.
440
00:15:15,348 --> 00:15:16,648
And he realizes, like,
441
00:15:16,650 --> 00:15:18,316
We need to figure something
out,
442
00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:19,784
because L.A. is growing.
443
00:15:19,786 --> 00:15:22,387
And either L.A.
has to stop growing
444
00:15:22,389 --> 00:15:26,124
or we have to figure out
more...water.
445
00:15:26,126 --> 00:15:28,826
Mulholland goes to Fred Eaton.
446
00:15:28,828 --> 00:15:31,162
I mean, he's just
the most powerful man.
447
00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:34,232
And he's like,
Hey, you're my best friend.
448
00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:35,767
You're my mentor.
449
00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:36,901
We're [bleep]-ed.
450
00:15:36,903 --> 00:15:38,436
Eaton is like,
451
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:39,671
There is a place
452
00:15:39,673 --> 00:15:42,340
that I used to
go when I was a kid.
453
00:15:42,342 --> 00:15:47,078
It's a [bleep]-ing, like,
200 miles away.
454
00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:48,046
I know.
455
00:15:48,048 --> 00:15:49,314
It sounds nuts.
456
00:15:49,316 --> 00:15:50,515
But shut the [bleep] up.
457
00:15:50,517 --> 00:15:52,884
It's gonna save
all of our problems.
458
00:15:52,886 --> 00:15:55,286
Mulholland's like...
459
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:58,423
I'm interested,
but I'm not...
460
00:15:58,425 --> 00:16:04,395
like, 100% on your page,
but I--
461
00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:06,030
I'm on your page.
462
00:16:06,032 --> 00:16:07,198
- But he's on a page.
463
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,000
- But he's on the page.
464
00:16:09,002 --> 00:16:12,003
So they go up
to the Owens Valley,
465
00:16:12,005 --> 00:16:13,304
and Eaton is like,
466
00:16:13,306 --> 00:16:19,577
This lake is 4,000 feet
above sea level.
467
00:16:19,579 --> 00:16:20,511
Los Angeles,
468
00:16:20,513 --> 00:16:23,381
just a couple feet
above sea level.
469
00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:24,349
Mulholland's like,
470
00:16:24,351 --> 00:16:27,318
Oh, my God,
it's all downhill.
471
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:31,222
Broop, all the way
to L.A., 250 miles.
472
00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:33,891
Broop,
all the way to L.A.
473
00:16:33,893 --> 00:16:35,393
You just [bleep]-ing
build a pipe,
474
00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:38,496
broop,
and you get to L.A.
475
00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:39,364
But Eaton says,
476
00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:41,733
We're gonna have
to break some laws.
477
00:16:41,735 --> 00:16:47,171
We're gonna have to do
some shady, shady...
478
00:16:47,173 --> 00:16:49,273
Can we watch
"My Cousin Vinny"?
479
00:16:49,275 --> 00:16:50,141
- No, you were talking.
480
00:16:50,143 --> 00:16:51,843
- You don't want to watch
"My Cousin Vinny"?
481
00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:53,778
- Let's just continue
on the story.
482
00:16:53,780 --> 00:16:55,646
- Oh, I was saying that--
483
00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:59,150
[stuttering]
484
00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:00,952
[laughter]
485
00:17:00,954 --> 00:17:03,021
So Eaton starts buying up
486
00:17:03,023 --> 00:17:05,490
all of the Owens Valley,
illegally,
487
00:17:05,492 --> 00:17:06,824
because they need
the water rights.
488
00:17:06,826 --> 00:17:10,495
And they get the L.A. Times
to publish fake stories,
489
00:17:10,497 --> 00:17:11,696
like, "We're all gonna die.
490
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:15,433
Guys, if we don't have water,
we're all gonna die."
491
00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:17,001
And it's all nonsense.
492
00:17:17,003 --> 00:17:18,002
It's all fake.
493
00:17:18,004 --> 00:17:19,871
There's spies,
there's bribery,
494
00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:21,539
there's manipulation.
495
00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:23,875
I mean, these guys
were the worst--
496
00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:24,842
worse than anyone.
497
00:17:24,844 --> 00:17:26,878
But the most [bleep]-ed up
thing is,
498
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:29,080
Eaton, he sneaks off
to his buddies.
499
00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:31,349
This is
the San Fernando Syndicate.
500
00:17:31,351 --> 00:17:32,250
And he's like,
501
00:17:32,252 --> 00:17:33,351
There's this big ah--
502
00:17:33,353 --> 00:17:36,287
big-ass basin in
the San Fernando Valley
503
00:17:36,289 --> 00:17:40,124
that just [bleep]-ing
is just chilling out here.
504
00:17:40,126 --> 00:17:42,894
Buy up land
in the San Fernando Valley.
505
00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:44,629
And then,
when the water comes,
506
00:17:44,631 --> 00:17:48,766
we're all gonna make
gazillions.
507
00:17:48,768 --> 00:17:51,002
"Chinatown," man.
508
00:17:51,004 --> 00:17:51,769
And eventually,
509
00:17:51,771 --> 00:17:54,939
the people of L.A. vote
to create the aqueduct.
510
00:17:54,941 --> 00:17:57,208
This is a [bleep]-ing pipe
511
00:17:57,210 --> 00:18:02,080
in 1904, five, six, seven,
whatever,
512
00:18:02,082 --> 00:18:06,117
250 miles long.
513
00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:08,252
On the opening,
William Mulholland
514
00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:11,756
turns on the water,
and he's like,
515
00:18:11,758 --> 00:18:13,091
There it is.
516
00:18:13,093 --> 00:18:13,691
Take it.
517
00:18:13,693 --> 00:18:15,927
And the water starts
[bleep]-ing shooting out.
518
00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:22,967
And that is the great moment
of William Mulholland's...
519
00:18:22,969 --> 00:18:24,635
something.
520
00:18:24,637 --> 00:18:25,770
Hey.
521
00:18:25,772 --> 00:18:27,338
- Oh, Jesus.
522
00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:29,140
- This is so stupid.
523
00:18:29,142 --> 00:18:30,541
[laughter]
524
00:18:34,613 --> 00:18:35,813
- [groaning]
525
00:18:35,815 --> 00:18:36,747
Hello.
526
00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:38,182
- Hi, Jer.
527
00:18:38,184 --> 00:18:39,016
What year are we in?
528
00:18:39,018 --> 00:18:43,955
- I don't know.
- Yes, you do.
529
00:18:43,957 --> 00:18:45,523
After 1913,
530
00:18:45,525 --> 00:18:48,826
water is coming to L.A.
like nobody's business.
531
00:18:48,828 --> 00:18:51,929
The population
is [bleep] exploding.
532
00:18:51,931 --> 00:18:52,997
There's palm trees.
533
00:18:52,999 --> 00:18:55,500
Palm trees don't exist
in Los Angeles.
534
00:18:55,502 --> 00:18:56,167
It's a desert.
535
00:18:56,169 --> 00:18:58,836
But the people who profit
most out of this
536
00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:01,639
is Eaton and his buddies.
537
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:02,840
Then, in the 1920s,
538
00:19:02,842 --> 00:19:05,776
there's a drought,
and it's a real drought.
539
00:19:05,778 --> 00:19:08,246
It's a [bleep]-ing
for real,
540
00:19:08,248 --> 00:19:10,581
for real, for real,
for real.
541
00:19:10,583 --> 00:19:11,782
And Mulholland says,
542
00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:15,019
Oh, my God,
like, this is--
543
00:19:15,021 --> 00:19:16,354
We need a reservoir.
544
00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:17,989
Mulholland goes to Eaton.
545
00:19:17,991 --> 00:19:20,858
Eaton has bought up
the only dam site
546
00:19:20,860 --> 00:19:22,326
in the entire Owens Valley.
547
00:19:22,328 --> 00:19:22,994
And he's like,
548
00:19:22,996 --> 00:19:25,530
You can have my dam site
for $1 million.
549
00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:26,797
And Mulholland's like...
550
00:19:26,799 --> 00:19:29,367
[distant moaning sound]
551
00:19:29,369 --> 00:19:31,769
[laughter]
552
00:19:31,771 --> 00:19:32,703
I didn't do that.
553
00:19:32,705 --> 00:19:34,205
So Mulholland's like,
[bleep] it.
554
00:19:34,207 --> 00:19:36,140
I'm gonna build
the goddamn reservoir,
555
00:19:36,142 --> 00:19:38,209
and it's gonna be
[bleep]-ing beautiful,
556
00:19:38,211 --> 00:19:40,044
and, m'wah, [bleep] you.
557
00:19:40,046 --> 00:19:43,314
And he [bleep]-ing built
the St. Francis Dam
558
00:19:43,316 --> 00:19:46,450
in San Francis--
Francisquito.
559
00:19:46,452 --> 00:19:48,252
And everything is great.
560
00:19:48,254 --> 00:19:49,120
And then they go,
561
00:19:49,122 --> 00:19:52,056
Hey, William Mulholland,
there's a leak.
562
00:19:52,058 --> 00:19:53,224
And William Mulholland's like,
563
00:19:53,226 --> 00:19:55,993
I'm kind of in the middle
of a power play.
564
00:19:55,995 --> 00:20:01,365
I ain't worried about
that [bleep] [bleep], dawg.
565
00:20:01,367 --> 00:20:02,466
He goes to sleep.
566
00:20:02,468 --> 00:20:03,201
That night,
567
00:20:03,203 --> 00:20:05,903
he gets a phone call
in the night.
568
00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:07,638
The dam has broke.
569
00:20:07,640 --> 00:20:11,842
There are more dead than
the San Francisco earthquake.
570
00:20:11,844 --> 00:20:17,582
And this was
William Mulholland's downfall.
571
00:20:17,584 --> 00:20:18,549
But in the end,
572
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:22,453
between Mulholland and Eaton,
they were--
573
00:20:22,455 --> 00:20:24,555
they created Los Angeles,
574
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:26,490
but really Mulholland,
575
00:20:26,492 --> 00:20:27,558
if it weren't for him,
576
00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,427
there would be no Los Angeles.
577
00:20:29,429 --> 00:20:30,228
- Cheers.
578
00:20:30,230 --> 00:20:35,533
- L.A. is a [bleep]-ing
nonsense of nonsenses.
579
00:20:35,535 --> 00:20:38,436
And it's the water.
580
00:20:40,372 --> 00:20:43,608
I am so [bleep]-ed up.
581
00:20:43,610 --> 00:20:45,476
- [laughs]
582
00:21:09,067 --> 00:21:09,967
- Oh, yeah!
583
00:21:09,969 --> 00:21:11,269
♪ I love L.A. ♪
584
00:21:11,271 --> 00:21:12,536
Oh, yeah!
585
00:21:12,538 --> 00:21:15,172
Oh, yeah--oh, no!
586
00:21:15,174 --> 00:21:16,607
Oh, yeah!
587
00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:17,475
[laughter]
588
00:21:17,477 --> 00:21:20,378
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah!
589
00:21:20,380 --> 00:21:20,411
I got high
drinking the L.A. River.