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00:00:10,977 --> 00:00:11,977
[patriotic music]
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Clark gable
flying over nazi germany.
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He's like...
[imitates machine gun]
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(jessica)
ponce de león is like,
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00:00:20,054 --> 00:00:23,489
I can't witness my people
just being, like,
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Totally treated [bleep]
like this.
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(dan)
the murder rate
has tripled overnight,
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00:00:30,464 --> 00:00:32,798
And most of it are people
that griselda
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Is murdering or having murdered.
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I can't see you,
by the way.
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I can see two of you.
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[patriotic music]
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♪ ♪
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(man)
people know miami as the beach
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And the glitz and the glamour
and the superficiality,
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But that's a very small part
of miami.
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(woman)
it is tough growing up in miami
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When you're not, like,
traditionally pretty,
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But a lot of people pay
to have that fixed anyway.
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Like, that's--
that's really common.
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You're like, ohh!
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Happy bar mitzvah.
I love your new nose!
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Beaches, bitches...
Can I say bitches?
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Miami's just
a dope place to be.
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To miami.
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To miami.
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(derek)
he's in a moment.
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He's at
shakespeare in the park '98.
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[laughs]
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- You ready?
- All the world's a stage!
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[chuckles]
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Hi, I'm greg worswick,
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And I'm here to tell you
about private clark gable.
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So it's the 1930s,
and clark gable is like
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The most famous movie star
in america.
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He's like, I am so famous.
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I have these eyebrows
and this mustache.
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They're crazy.
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He marries carole lombard,
who's his new love.
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She's like the goldie hawn of--
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Of paramount movies in the 30s.
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He's like, she is my soul mate.
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Then, world war ii starts.
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[gulps]
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Yeah.
[gulps]
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Big...Gulp.
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They start getting involved
in the war effort.
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And so clark's like, yes,
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I will lend my face
to some brochures,
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In a sort of fun pose
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Where I'm just saying, hey.
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Carole is so, so invested,
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And she goes to indiana.
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She sells over $2 million
in war bonds.
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She breaks records.
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Nobody has ever
made that before.
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Carole is like, I am really
raising money for this war.
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And she telegrams him one night,
and she says,
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You better get yourself
into this man's army.
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And so clark is like, well,
okay, I'm a movie star.
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I'm [bleep] brett butler.
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[laughter]
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Not brett butler.
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I'm rhett butler
in gone with the wind.
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I won an oscar.
I'm, like, doing pretty good.
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Sure.
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The next day,
carole gets on this plane.
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She's coming back home
to hollywood from indianapolis.
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Her plane goes down.
She dies.
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Clark is, like, devastated.
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He's like, no!
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And then he starts thinking
about those last words,
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That siren's call to him
that's like,
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You better get yourself
into this man's army.
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And he thinks, okay,
this is the best way
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That I can honor
my wife's last request,
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Is that I should get involved
with the war.
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And so he enlists,
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So they ship him
from hollywood to miami and--
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(derek)
yeah, miami.
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(greg)
yes.
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Miami has been transformed
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Into this american boot camp
for the army.
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So he gets there, he's being
hounded by the paparazzi,
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And he says, okay, stop, stop,
stop, stop, stop, stop, stop.
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I...Will grant you this:
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I will shave off my mustache
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In front of your cameras
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If you promise to leave me alone
after that.
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He shaved off his mustache,
and then that was his last,
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Like, movie star thing
for a while.
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And he takes all these tests,
and that's it.
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And then--and then they're like,
you graduated.
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So he says, okay, look,
you know what?
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I want to be in combat.
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I want to be doing
the combat missions.
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And they're like,
clark, we don't know.
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This is, uh,
kind of a lot for you.
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You're a famous actor.
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We feel like we should
probably keep you safe.
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No!
I want to be a person in combat.
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00:05:07,207 --> 00:05:11,510
In January 1943,
he's sent to England.
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He's flying over nazi germany,
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And gunfire ricocheted
off clark gable's boot,
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Narrowly missing an inch
of his head.
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He's like, no!
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That was close.
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Word of that gets back
to mgm president louis b. Mayer,
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Who is like, okay, uh,
dead actors are of no use to us.
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You need to bring him back
to america, stat.
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We need him here unscathed.
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And he's like,
no, I can do it.
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I'm a regular guy.
It's fine.
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And he demands that
he keeps going
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On 23, 24, 25 more missions.
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[imitates airplane]
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[imitates explosion]
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[imitating airplane
and explosion]
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[both laugh]
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And that's why I love you, kid.
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[laughs, coughs]
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Did you get taken a bit back
when I called you kid?
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[laughing]
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You forget what generation
you're in, kid?
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I sure did, kid.
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I spilled so much bourbon
on this chair.
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So he comes back from europe,
and they say,
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Clark, thank you so much
for serving in the military.
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We would like to offer you
the air medal
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And the distinguished
flying cross
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For your efforts
in world war ii!
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And on January 15, 1944,
they invite him
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To the christening
of the s.S. Carole lombard.
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He said...Wow.
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This really has put a bookend
on my time
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In the...Military.
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Thank you.
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You guys.
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(derek)
what?
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I don't know.
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I just had a lot of fun.
I hope you did too.
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I am
from France originally.
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Okay.
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00:07:38,258 --> 00:07:42,194
But I've been here
for quite a while now, you know?
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And you still love new york.
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00:07:43,497 --> 00:07:46,031
I never actually--never been
to new york, you know?
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[both laugh]
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You'll be all right, man...
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[engine revving]
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Look at me!
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00:08:04,318 --> 00:08:06,651
Oh, yeah!
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00:08:07,653 --> 00:08:10,255
All right.
I guess you did that.
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Mmm!
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00:08:10,691 --> 00:08:13,558
- [laughs]
- well, you have a drop.
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Hi, I'm jessica meraz,
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And today
we're going to be talking
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About juan ponce de león.
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Or as white people call him,
"ponce de leon."
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00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:30,876
Juan ponce de león
is a spanish explorer.
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King ferdinand is like,
you know what, ponce?
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I dig you.
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You've done a really great job,
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00:08:36,450 --> 00:08:38,583
And in honor of your service
to Spain,
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I'm going to send you over
to puerto rico
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To be the governor.
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So ponce de león's like,
okay, cool.
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He goes to puerto rico,
and he sees the people.
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He's like, love you.
You guys are cool.
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Sees the land, he's like,
oh, my god, it's bountiful,
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And it's awesome.
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So...
[laughs]
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00:09:00,007 --> 00:09:01,640
(derek)
it's kicking in.
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00:09:01,642 --> 00:09:03,375
[laughs]
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00:09:03,377 --> 00:09:08,013
Okay, so, back in Spain,
bom, bom, bom,
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00:09:08,015 --> 00:09:10,048
Diego columbus is there.
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00:09:10,050 --> 00:09:12,651
He's christopher columbus'
eldest son,
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00:09:12,653 --> 00:09:16,288
And he is like
rich kid, dick face.
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00:09:16,290 --> 00:09:20,058
And he's like, you know what,
king ferdinand?
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00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:20,859
You owe me [bleep].
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00:09:20,861 --> 00:09:22,794
You told my dad that
he's supposed to have control
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Over all the west indies
and everything that he explored.
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00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:28,533
And the king is like,
[bleep] you.
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My man ponce, who is, like,
a good dude,
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Is taking care of puerto rico.
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00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:38,843
I don't care who your dad is,
but, like, shut the [bleep] up.
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00:09:38,845 --> 00:09:43,315
So he goes,
and he finds the king's cousin.
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00:09:43,317 --> 00:09:46,651
Her name was maria alvarez...
De toledo.
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00:09:46,653 --> 00:09:48,086
Wait, give it to me again.
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00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,454
Maria alvarez de toledo.
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00:09:49,456 --> 00:09:50,789
(derek)
wait, that's so fast.
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00:09:50,791 --> 00:09:52,490
(jessica)
maria alvarez de toledo.
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00:09:52,492 --> 00:09:54,159
(derek)
wait, one at at time.
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00:09:54,161 --> 00:09:56,661
- Maria.
- Ma--oh, maria.
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00:09:56,663 --> 00:09:58,697
- Alvarez.
- Alvarez.
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00:09:58,699 --> 00:09:59,731
- De.
- De.
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00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:02,167
- Toledo.
- Toledo?
197
00:10:02,169 --> 00:10:03,602
(jessica)
okay. Mm.
198
00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:08,273
So he seduces this chick
and marries her
199
00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:10,775
And basically blackmails
the king,
200
00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:13,178
And he's like, you know what,
king ferdinand?
201
00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:16,014
Make me the viceroy
of the entire west indies--
202
00:10:16,016 --> 00:10:19,551
Which includes puerto rico--
and the governor of hispaniola,
203
00:10:19,553 --> 00:10:24,189
Which is the island
just west of puerto rico.
204
00:10:24,191 --> 00:10:27,559
And king ferdinand has no--
no choice.
205
00:10:27,561 --> 00:10:28,259
His hands are tied.
206
00:10:28,261 --> 00:10:31,763
So in 1509, diego columbus
goes over to hispaniola,
207
00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:35,066
Plunders all the resources,
is a huge dick,
208
00:10:35,068 --> 00:10:37,936
Brings over a slew of
white chicks from--from Spain.
209
00:10:37,938 --> 00:10:42,073
It's like, ah, for my spanis--
for my spanish conquistador
210
00:10:42,075 --> 00:10:45,644
Fellow army men,
like, ahh, you know?
211
00:10:45,646 --> 00:10:47,879
Take your pick. You can...
[whistles]
212
00:10:47,881 --> 00:10:49,314
With whatever chick you want to.
213
00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:52,450
And his buddies juan cerón
and miguel díaz are over.
214
00:10:52,452 --> 00:10:56,187
And he's like...
[speaking spanish]
215
00:10:59,425 --> 00:11:01,559
What did he just say?
216
00:11:01,561 --> 00:11:04,663
Let's have some drinks.
Let's have a good time.
217
00:11:04,665 --> 00:11:06,064
Let's party, man.
218
00:11:06,066 --> 00:11:06,831
Very cool.
219
00:11:06,833 --> 00:11:10,201
So they go, and he's like, yeah,
party island!
220
00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:15,173
And he turns hispaniola into,
like, a frat boy party.
221
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:18,309
[techno music]
222
00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:20,545
♪ ♪
223
00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:22,714
[laughing]
224
00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:24,249
[laughs]
225
00:11:24,251 --> 00:11:26,618
Hoo!
226
00:11:26,620 --> 00:11:27,185
[sighs]
227
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:30,889
So he's like, you know what,
you guys, go over there.
228
00:11:30,891 --> 00:11:31,856
Take over puerto rico.
229
00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:33,925
It's supposed to be mine,
anyway.
230
00:11:33,927 --> 00:11:35,226
[bleep] ponce de león.
231
00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:37,362
So he's doing whatever he wants
over in hispaniola,
232
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,664
While just one island over
in puerto rico,
233
00:11:39,666 --> 00:11:43,635
Ponce de león is, like,
skipping around with the people.
234
00:11:43,637 --> 00:11:45,036
He's like, hey, what's up?
235
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:47,105
And they're like,
hey, ponce!
236
00:11:47,107 --> 00:11:50,008
Cerón and díaz
go over to puerto rico
237
00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:54,012
And kick ponce de león
out of power and are like,
238
00:11:54,014 --> 00:11:55,146
We're in charge now.
239
00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:55,880
They're barbaric.
240
00:11:55,882 --> 00:12:00,251
They're enslaving the people,
being super douches.
241
00:12:00,253 --> 00:12:02,554
So ponce de león is like,
242
00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:06,057
I can't witness my people
just being, like,
243
00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,526
Totally treated [bleep]
like this.
244
00:12:08,528 --> 00:12:11,629
So he gathers up some of
his spanish men, and he's like,
245
00:12:11,631 --> 00:12:15,366
You know what, let's [bleep]
chain these [bleeps]
246
00:12:15,368 --> 00:12:18,336
And send them back to Spain.
247
00:12:18,338 --> 00:12:21,973
And king ferdinand is like,
what the [bleep] are you doing?
248
00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:22,707
Like, I get it.
249
00:12:22,709 --> 00:12:24,743
These guys are assholes,
but...
250
00:12:24,745 --> 00:12:25,877
You don't have the power
to do that.
251
00:12:25,879 --> 00:12:31,483
So juan cerón and miguel díaz
are--go back to puerto rico.
252
00:12:31,485 --> 00:12:36,121
And ponce de león's like,
king ferdinand, fine.
253
00:12:36,123 --> 00:12:39,457
If I can't have puerto rico,
there's this other island
254
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:45,663
To the north, west a little bit,
that is just as full of gold,
255
00:12:45,665 --> 00:12:48,066
And the land is
just as bountiful.
256
00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:49,968
And he says, okay,
go do your thing.
257
00:12:49,970 --> 00:12:52,403
So ponce de león is like,
all right, sweet.
258
00:12:52,405 --> 00:12:53,505
So it takes him
a couple of months,
259
00:12:53,507 --> 00:12:56,407
And he gets together a ship
and a group of spaniards.
260
00:12:56,409 --> 00:13:00,745
In 1513, he sets sail
in the wide open waters
261
00:13:00,747 --> 00:13:04,449
Of the atlantic ocean
for this mystery island.
262
00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:07,719
A month later he sees land.
263
00:13:07,721 --> 00:13:09,988
As he sees it, he realizes,
you know what?
264
00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:12,090
Christopher columbus
has never been here.
265
00:13:12,092 --> 00:13:17,362
I'm the first nonnative
to come across this land.
266
00:13:17,364 --> 00:13:19,998
And not just that...
267
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:23,668
Hmm.
268
00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:25,436
[laughs]
I lost it.
269
00:13:25,438 --> 00:13:27,172
So he shows up, and he's like,
oh, my god,
270
00:13:27,174 --> 00:13:31,209
I'm the first non-indigenous
person to show up on this land.
271
00:13:31,211 --> 00:13:36,447
Sets down the spanish flag,
unrolls it, and is like,
272
00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:41,186
I hereby proclaim this land
as being spanish.
273
00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:43,922
And I call it...
274
00:13:43,924 --> 00:13:45,456
La florida.
275
00:13:45,458 --> 00:13:50,595
And there he's left
to make this land his own...
276
00:13:50,597 --> 00:13:53,131
Till the end of time.
277
00:13:55,634 --> 00:13:57,635
[both sigh]
278
00:13:59,438 --> 00:14:01,206
[bleep] history.
279
00:14:07,479 --> 00:14:09,347
Oh, yeah!
280
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:12,784
Yeah! Whoo!
281
00:14:12,786 --> 00:14:14,552
Where's that gator?
282
00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:16,521
Yeah, I don't know
where he went.
283
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:19,290
I can see why all the murder
mysteries have stories
284
00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:21,759
About people dropping bodies
in here, though.
285
00:14:21,761 --> 00:14:24,028
Yeah, I'm still trying to find
my first wife.
286
00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:26,231
[laughs]
no.
287
00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:28,800
As a host of drunk history,
I'm saying, all right,
288
00:14:28,802 --> 00:14:29,734
Now you match me.
289
00:14:29,736 --> 00:14:31,436
Let's just chug this.
290
00:14:31,438 --> 00:14:34,439
Mm-hmm.
Mmm. Mm.
291
00:14:35,774 --> 00:14:37,675
[chuckles]
292
00:14:37,677 --> 00:14:40,511
Hey.
[laughs]
293
00:14:40,513 --> 00:14:41,179
Hello.
294
00:14:41,181 --> 00:14:45,383
Hello, I'm dan harmon,
and today I'd like to tell you
295
00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:48,453
The story of griselda blanco,
296
00:14:48,455 --> 00:14:51,556
The godmother of cocaine.
297
00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:52,690
[slurps]
298
00:14:52,692 --> 00:14:56,160
So griselda blanco
marries alberto bravo,
299
00:14:56,162 --> 00:14:59,530
A cocaine dealer
from the medellin cartel.
300
00:14:59,532 --> 00:15:02,700
And griselda loves him,
they get married,
301
00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:05,803
And we're gonna pursue
the american dream
302
00:15:05,805 --> 00:15:06,838
And go to america.
303
00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:10,808
They, uh, they bring cocaine
to new york.
304
00:15:10,810 --> 00:15:11,776
Ka-boom!
305
00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:14,812
Welcome to 1970s america,
306
00:15:14,814 --> 00:15:16,481
Where everyone is on cocaine.
307
00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:21,552
Athletes, police, meter maids,
your uncle.
308
00:15:21,554 --> 00:15:23,955
Everyone's on cocaine
is my point.
309
00:15:23,957 --> 00:15:25,156
So many people are on cocaine,
310
00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:27,959
The nypd and dea
form a task force.
311
00:15:27,961 --> 00:15:29,727
You gotta stop
this [bleep] cocaine.
312
00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:34,799
Hey, bob palombo,
head of the new dea task force,
313
00:15:34,801 --> 00:15:36,634
Operation banshee,
314
00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:38,803
Stop this cocaine!
315
00:15:38,805 --> 00:15:40,872
Bob palombo goes,
okay, I'm on it.
316
00:15:40,874 --> 00:15:42,206
Let's do it.
I'm gonna do it.
317
00:15:42,208 --> 00:15:45,076
I got my shoulder holster.
I got my badge.
318
00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:46,544
I got my cocaine training.
319
00:15:46,546 --> 00:15:49,080
I'm gonna go bust
some cocaine people.
320
00:15:49,082 --> 00:15:50,281
He goes out.
321
00:15:50,283 --> 00:15:53,885
Alberto bravo [bleep]
bails on his wife.
322
00:15:53,887 --> 00:15:55,687
He leaves griselda high and dry.
323
00:15:55,689 --> 00:15:59,257
She opens the books
and realizes, holy [bleep],
324
00:15:59,259 --> 00:16:03,328
This [bleep] guy that I trusted,
exchanged vows with,
325
00:16:03,330 --> 00:16:09,367
He stole millions from me
and then bailed on me.
326
00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:10,802
She calls her husband.
327
00:16:10,804 --> 00:16:13,871
Hey...Ass master.
328
00:16:13,873 --> 00:16:15,773
[derek and dan laugh]
329
00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:18,810
(dan)
could we...Hook up,
330
00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:21,579
Talk about the elephants
331
00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:23,414
In the various rooms?
332
00:16:23,416 --> 00:16:25,516
- Let's chug this.
- Chug this?
333
00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:28,019
- Yeah! Come on.
- Okay.
334
00:16:29,521 --> 00:16:31,456
We're in miami.
335
00:16:33,325 --> 00:16:34,726
I mean, that's gonna...
336
00:16:34,728 --> 00:16:37,028
- That's a threshold.
- Mmm.
337
00:16:37,030 --> 00:16:39,864
(dan)
she makes her own way
to colombia.
338
00:16:39,866 --> 00:16:42,934
Griselda pulls up in a car
by herself.
339
00:16:42,936 --> 00:16:46,504
She gets out of the car.
She points at him.
340
00:16:46,506 --> 00:16:48,139
You [bleep] me!
341
00:16:48,141 --> 00:16:51,075
We dealt cocaine together
in new york.
342
00:16:51,077 --> 00:16:51,843
We dominated.
343
00:16:51,845 --> 00:16:54,979
The dea moved in,
and you [bleep] me.
344
00:16:54,981 --> 00:16:59,283
He's like, hey, whoa, man,
you don't need to be so harsh.
345
00:16:59,285 --> 00:17:00,084
[bleep] come on, baby,
346
00:17:00,086 --> 00:17:01,953
[bleep], [bleep], [bleep],
[bleep], [bleep].
347
00:17:01,955 --> 00:17:04,455
He goes for his uzi,
which is in his belt.
348
00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:07,792
She goes for her pistol,
which is in her boot.
349
00:17:07,794 --> 00:17:10,795
She gets shot in the gut
with one uzi bullet.
350
00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:13,031
Oh! Ow!
My gut.
351
00:17:13,033 --> 00:17:16,501
She shoots him in the face
with her pistol.
352
00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:18,002
She takes his uzi.
353
00:17:18,004 --> 00:17:21,406
She shoots
all of his six bodyguards
354
00:17:21,408 --> 00:17:25,543
And emerges as the only survivor
of the entire scene
355
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:29,247
And earns the nickname
the black widow.
356
00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:33,284
Now she makes
her biggest [bleep] move of all.
357
00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:38,456
She goes, let's go
to the virgin city, "me-ami."
358
00:17:38,458 --> 00:17:39,624
Come on, dan.
359
00:17:39,626 --> 00:17:41,726
Are you gonna do pushups?
360
00:17:41,728 --> 00:17:43,294
Maybe.
361
00:17:43,296 --> 00:17:45,797
I can't see you,
by the way.
362
00:17:45,799 --> 00:17:48,099
I can see two of you.
363
00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:56,874
Um, so she, uh--
she goes to miami.
364
00:17:56,876 --> 00:17:57,575
[dance music]
365
00:17:57,577 --> 00:18:00,845
Now, this is a town very thirsty
for cocaine.
366
00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:01,546
Here comes griselda.
367
00:18:01,548 --> 00:18:06,617
She invents a little concept
called the motorcycle drive-by.
368
00:18:06,619 --> 00:18:08,753
Miami has gone insane.
369
00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:11,556
The murder rate
has tripled overnight,
370
00:18:11,558 --> 00:18:14,058
And most of it are people
that griselda
371
00:18:14,060 --> 00:18:16,594
Is either murdering
or having murdered.
372
00:18:16,596 --> 00:18:19,297
Meanwhile,
dea agent bob palombo,
373
00:18:19,299 --> 00:18:23,234
He says to his colleagues,
when I arrest this woman,
374
00:18:23,236 --> 00:18:25,203
I'm gonna kiss her
on the mouth. Mmm.
375
00:18:25,205 --> 00:18:30,308
His colleagues are like, oh,
did you hear what bob said?
376
00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:34,278
Yeah, the mouth-kissing thing?
Yeah.
377
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,013
Having no more battles
left to win,
378
00:18:36,015 --> 00:18:38,683
She starts getting high
on her own supply.
379
00:18:38,685 --> 00:18:42,720
Griselda starts holing herself
up in her mansion.
380
00:18:42,722 --> 00:18:46,124
Meanwhile, the dea is
closing in enough,
381
00:18:46,126 --> 00:18:49,861
She sees the writing
on the rall--on the rall.
382
00:18:49,863 --> 00:18:51,996
She sees the writing
on the wall.
383
00:18:51,998 --> 00:18:55,399
She flees to irvine, california.
384
00:18:55,401 --> 00:18:59,804
So she's sitting
in her irvine, california, home.
385
00:18:59,806 --> 00:19:02,707
The dea is closing in.
386
00:19:02,709 --> 00:19:06,110
Griselda, we know
you're in there.
387
00:19:06,112 --> 00:19:07,945
Guess what bob palombo does.
388
00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:09,547
He marches up to her,
kisses her.
389
00:19:09,549 --> 00:19:14,652
And all of his coworkers are
like, wow, look what bob did.
390
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:18,456
He sexualized his quarry.
391
00:19:18,458 --> 00:19:20,625
Ugh, gross.
392
00:19:20,627 --> 00:19:23,861
So she pleads guilty
393
00:19:23,863 --> 00:19:26,264
To 3 of the 240 murders
394
00:19:26,266 --> 00:19:28,866
That she may be
"guiltiable" about,
395
00:19:28,868 --> 00:19:31,936
An exchange for which
she gets 20 years in prison.
396
00:19:31,938 --> 00:19:36,674
2011--correct the chyron
if we find out that's not true--
397
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:39,744
She gets deported back
to colombia,
398
00:19:39,746 --> 00:19:41,712
In her hometown of medellin,
399
00:19:41,714 --> 00:19:44,048
The town that made her
what she is.
400
00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:46,284
She's outside a butcher shop.
401
00:19:46,286 --> 00:19:52,456
She is gunned down
by two assassins...
402
00:19:52,458 --> 00:19:54,725
On a motorcycle.
403
00:19:54,727 --> 00:19:56,360
(derek)
would that be...
404
00:19:56,362 --> 00:20:00,364
(dan)
a motorcycle drive-by? Yeah.
405
00:20:00,366 --> 00:20:03,067
The fact that she died
by something that
406
00:20:03,069 --> 00:20:06,504
Wouldn't have existed
had she not existed,
407
00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:10,041
That's...Total irony.
408
00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:12,843
This is--this is like
if thomas edison, uh,
409
00:20:12,845 --> 00:20:16,047
After his long life,
was strangled in his sleep
410
00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:17,348
- By a light bulb.
- [laughs]
411
00:20:17,350 --> 00:20:21,485
Like [bleep] ben franklin
being killed by a glowing key.
412
00:20:21,487 --> 00:20:23,988
Would it be like
george foreman...
413
00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:28,492
- Getting grilled to death?
- Being thrown and grilled?
414
00:20:28,494 --> 00:20:31,862
And all of his fat
dripping down
415
00:20:31,864 --> 00:20:35,266
Angled troughs
into a [bleep] plastic bin?
416
00:20:35,268 --> 00:20:38,903
- By all his challenges?
- [laughing]
417
00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:42,073
[patriotic music]
418
00:20:42,075 --> 00:20:50,314
♪ ♪
419
00:21:09,635 --> 00:21:13,404
♪ yeah, yo, orlando, golf ball,
epcot, have it all ♪
420
00:21:13,406 --> 00:21:14,805
[derek beatboxing]
421
00:21:14,807 --> 00:21:16,774
(dan)
♪ south beach, north beach ♪
422
00:21:16,776 --> 00:21:18,709
- ♪ kicking it peninsula ♪
- ♪ dayt-- ♪
423
00:21:18,711 --> 00:21:21,045
(dan)
♪ this is not a real rap,
you can license it ♪
424
00:21:21,047 --> 00:21:21,078
(derek)
♪ daytona, daytona, daytona ♪