1 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:55,095 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 2 00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:09,651 Come on. Let's go. 3 00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:13,614 Wait a minute! You can't just return them. 4 00:01:16,993 --> 00:01:19,286 They said I wasn't a good fit. 5 00:01:19,746 --> 00:01:21,914 There'll be another family, Michelle. 6 00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:27,544 (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 7 00:01:34,010 --> 00:01:36,011 Oh, come on! Wait a minute! 8 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:40,599 What's the matter with me? 9 00:01:40,683 --> 00:01:42,434 Not a thing, Michelle. 10 00:01:43,353 --> 00:01:45,687 God's children are all perfect. 11 00:01:46,397 --> 00:01:48,148 In their own way. 12 00:01:48,483 --> 00:01:50,484 (ROCK BALLAD PLAYING) 13 00:01:56,199 --> 00:01:58,075 Fuck you! 14 00:01:59,702 --> 00:02:01,745 Never lose hope, Michelle. 15 00:02:02,163 --> 00:02:04,540 There's a family out there for everyone. 16 00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:06,834 Come on, Agnes. Families are for suckers. 17 00:02:07,377 --> 00:02:09,795 Don't worry about me. I don't need anybody. 18 00:02:09,879 --> 00:02:11,713 I'm going straight to the top. 19 00:02:13,508 --> 00:02:15,634 Michelle. Michelle? 20 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:18,345 AUDIENCE CHANTING: Michelle! Michelle! Michelle! SISTER ALUMINATA: Michelle? 21 00:02:18,721 --> 00:02:22,474 MALE ANNOUNCER: She's the CEO of three Fortune 500 companies 22 00:02:22,559 --> 00:02:27,062 and the best-selling financial author of Money Talks, Bullshit Walks. 23 00:02:27,147 --> 00:02:30,232 The one, the only, Michelle Darnell! 24 00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:31,483 (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 25 00:02:31,568 --> 00:02:34,695 Who wants to make some money? 26 00:02:35,321 --> 00:02:36,655 (MAN SHOUTING) 27 00:02:36,739 --> 00:02:39,741 I can't hear you, Chicago! 28 00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:46,957 Get those hands up! 29 00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:55,465 Come on! There we go! 30 00:02:56,467 --> 00:02:58,510 (RAPPING) MD going in on the verse 'Cause I never been defeated 31 00:02:58,595 --> 00:02:59,636 And I won't stop now 32 00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:00,804 Keep your hands up, put 'em in the sky 33 00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:02,806 For the homies didn't make it and my folks locked down 34 00:03:02,891 --> 00:03:04,600 I never went nowhere 35 00:03:04,684 --> 00:03:07,686 They're saying 'Chelle's back Blame it on the conjure 36 00:03:07,770 --> 00:03:09,313 They call it M.D.- ac 37 00:03:09,397 --> 00:03:11,023 Can't never count me out 38 00:03:11,107 --> 00:03:12,441 Y'all better count me in 39 00:03:12,525 --> 00:03:15,652 Got twenty bank accounts Accountants count me in 40 00:03:15,737 --> 00:03:17,237 Make millions every year 41 00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:18,947 The Chi's champion 42 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,991 'Cause all I do is... 43 00:03:21,242 --> 00:03:23,035 MALE ANNOUNCER: Give it up for T-Pain! 44 00:03:23,119 --> 00:03:25,621 All I do is win, win, win no matter what Got money on my mind 45 00:03:25,705 --> 00:03:27,122 I can never get enough 46 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:30,209 And every time I step up in the building 47 00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:32,294 Everybody hands go up 48 00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:34,838 And they stay there 49 00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:36,715 And they say yeah 50 00:03:36,799 --> 00:03:38,050 And they stay there 51 00:03:38,134 --> 00:03:40,344 Up down, up down, up down 52 00:03:40,428 --> 00:03:43,388 'Cause all I do is win, win, win 53 00:03:43,473 --> 00:03:47,392 And if you goin' in put your hands in the air Make them stay there 54 00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:50,187 (AUDIENCE CHEERING) 55 00:03:58,529 --> 00:04:00,489 MICHELLE: Thank you, Chicago! 56 00:04:01,783 --> 00:04:03,617 Thank you. All right. 57 00:04:03,701 --> 00:04:04,743 WOMAN: I love you! 58 00:04:04,827 --> 00:04:06,536 Thank you. I love you, too. 59 00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:08,247 My name is Michelle Darnell 60 00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:11,375 and I am the 47th wealthiest woman in America. 61 00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:15,087 How wealthy am I? 62 00:04:15,171 --> 00:04:18,590 I had Destiny's Child reunite 63 00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:22,678 only to have them come over to my personal living room 64 00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:24,846 so I could watch them break apart again. 65 00:04:25,014 --> 00:04:26,014 Huh? 66 00:04:27,183 --> 00:04:30,519 How did I get to my success level? What's my secret? 67 00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:32,771 I worked myself silly. 68 00:04:33,648 --> 00:04:35,357 Okay, number one. 69 00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:37,651 You work your ass off to get what you want. 70 00:04:37,735 --> 00:04:42,239 Number two. You do not let other people drag you down. 71 00:04:42,323 --> 00:04:43,699 'Cause they will. 72 00:04:45,743 --> 00:04:50,163 They are an anchor in your life that you do not want. 73 00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:53,375 Cut 'em loose and sail off. 74 00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:55,252 If you work this program... 75 00:04:55,336 --> 00:04:58,380 You. Will. Get. Rich. 76 00:05:00,508 --> 00:05:03,218 And I'm not talking about chump change. 77 00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:07,222 And I'm not talking about some loose dollar bills at the bottom of your purse. 78 00:05:07,307 --> 00:05:10,142 I'm talking about real fucking money! 79 00:05:10,226 --> 00:05:12,477 Life-changing money! 80 00:05:14,105 --> 00:05:16,940 AUDIENCE CHANTING: Real fucking money! Real fucking money! 81 00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:18,400 That's how you do it. 82 00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:22,529 Now let's go make some money! 83 00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:56,355 Thank you, Tito. What a night! 84 00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:57,481 That's right, MD. 85 00:05:57,607 --> 00:05:58,607 (LAUGHING) 86 00:05:58,691 --> 00:05:59,733 Yeah. 87 00:06:00,103 --> 00:06:02,396 I don't know if it's gonna fit if you buy it online. 88 00:06:02,522 --> 00:06:05,149 Oh, you know the rules, boys. Go, go, go, go! 89 00:06:05,275 --> 00:06:09,362 If I have to wait for an elevator, one of you is carrying me up the stairs 90 00:06:09,446 --> 00:06:10,404 on their back. 91 00:06:10,489 --> 00:06:12,490 Good evening, Ms. Darnell... No, no, no. 92 00:06:12,574 --> 00:06:13,658 Oh... 93 00:06:13,784 --> 00:06:16,952 Oh, and I was looking forward to a piggy-back ride. 94 00:06:17,037 --> 00:06:18,037 Ah. 95 00:06:18,789 --> 00:06:20,039 Come on, Tito. 96 00:06:20,123 --> 00:06:21,374 Good evening. Have a good evening. 97 00:06:21,458 --> 00:06:22,458 Claire. 98 00:06:23,460 --> 00:06:25,336 Have a good evening, Miss Darnell. Yeah. 99 00:06:25,420 --> 00:06:27,254 Shut the doors, Paul. It's... 100 00:06:27,381 --> 00:06:29,465 It's shutting. It's automatic. It's coming. Oh, it's coming. 101 00:06:29,549 --> 00:06:31,342 Right. There it goes. Good night. Yeah, there it goes. 102 00:06:31,635 --> 00:06:32,635 Jesus Christ. 103 00:06:35,472 --> 00:06:37,181 Oh, my God. Um... 104 00:06:37,265 --> 00:06:39,308 You didn't press it. Can I fuck 'em up? 105 00:06:39,393 --> 00:06:41,394 It's dealers choice. It's up to you, really. 106 00:06:42,771 --> 00:06:43,729 I'd run, boys. I'm gonna fuck 'em up. 107 00:06:43,814 --> 00:06:44,814 Oh, Jesus! Jesus Christ. 108 00:06:45,767 --> 00:06:48,644 I'm amazed that the United Center is even still standing 109 00:06:48,729 --> 00:06:50,229 because I crushed it tonight. 110 00:06:50,314 --> 00:06:51,689 You crushed it like velvet. 111 00:06:51,773 --> 00:06:54,650 Like velvet! Send T-Pain some "thank you" flowers. 112 00:06:54,735 --> 00:06:55,735 Okay? Okay. 113 00:06:55,819 --> 00:06:57,987 Look into getting more fire power to that bird. 114 00:06:58,071 --> 00:06:59,697 Absolutely. More power. 115 00:06:59,781 --> 00:07:01,991 No. The fire marshal almost shut us down 116 00:07:02,117 --> 00:07:03,701 based on the pyrotechnics we used tonight. 117 00:07:03,785 --> 00:07:04,827 I don't think that's an option. 118 00:07:04,912 --> 00:07:06,913 Let's hire a new fire marshal. 119 00:07:06,997 --> 00:07:09,290 CLAIRE: I don't think you can hire a fire marshal. 120 00:07:09,374 --> 00:07:11,209 I think it's a city-appointed position, 121 00:07:11,293 --> 00:07:12,335 but I'll look into it. 122 00:07:12,711 --> 00:07:15,296 TITO: All she does is win, Claire. Toot-toot! 123 00:07:15,380 --> 00:07:18,132 CLAIRE: I got this, Tito. Okay? You can sit this one out. 124 00:07:19,343 --> 00:07:20,301 MICHELLE: Claire? 125 00:07:20,385 --> 00:07:22,094 Oh, teeth whitening. Sorry. Sorry, yes. 126 00:07:22,179 --> 00:07:23,554 My God. Sorry. 127 00:07:24,139 --> 00:07:27,892 Hmm. I have to remind you. That seems... 128 00:07:28,352 --> 00:07:31,103 That seems like a little the opposite, right? 129 00:07:31,188 --> 00:07:32,188 Yeah. 130 00:07:32,898 --> 00:07:34,815 Okay. Yeah, I think if you keep your... 131 00:07:34,900 --> 00:07:37,610 You need to keep your tongue inside your mouth for this to work. 132 00:07:37,694 --> 00:07:41,447 Last week you very specifically said, "Keep tongue out. " 133 00:07:41,531 --> 00:07:43,157 No. You did say that, Claire. 134 00:07:43,242 --> 00:07:45,284 I said, "Get your tongue out of the picture. " 135 00:07:45,369 --> 00:07:46,786 She's got to breathe, Claire. 136 00:07:46,870 --> 00:07:48,621 Somebody must be hungry. 137 00:07:48,705 --> 00:07:51,540 Somebody gets very crabby when she's hungry. 138 00:07:51,875 --> 00:07:53,376 You're a little hangry, Claire. 139 00:07:53,460 --> 00:07:54,877 I'm not hangry, Tito. 140 00:07:55,003 --> 00:07:57,296 Hungry and angry. You hangry, Claire. 141 00:07:57,381 --> 00:07:58,923 Sixty seconds of no talking. 142 00:07:59,007 --> 00:08:00,383 'Cause this has to set for 60 seconds. 143 00:08:00,509 --> 00:08:01,842 I've been waiting. I mean, I'm in here. 144 00:08:01,927 --> 00:08:03,469 You're the only one that's talking, Claire. 145 00:08:03,553 --> 00:08:05,846 You're the only one talking. It's hilarious. 146 00:08:05,931 --> 00:08:11,018 It's like that classic comedy gag, "He's on my baseball. " 147 00:08:11,103 --> 00:08:12,395 Who's on my baseball? 148 00:08:12,521 --> 00:08:13,813 Who's on my baseball? 149 00:08:14,231 --> 00:08:16,107 Uh, who's on my baseball? (CHUCKLING) (MICHELLE CHUCKLING) 150 00:08:16,566 --> 00:08:18,442 Oh, no it's... Who's on my baseball? 151 00:08:18,527 --> 00:08:22,154 I think it's, "Who's on first. What's on second? I Don't Know is on third. " 152 00:08:22,239 --> 00:08:23,239 Right? 153 00:08:24,074 --> 00:08:26,575 I don't think that's... Uh, no. 154 00:08:27,244 --> 00:08:29,537 I think you're on my baseball. 155 00:08:29,621 --> 00:08:31,330 TITO: Who's on my baseball? First base. 156 00:08:31,581 --> 00:08:33,332 (MICHELLE AND TITO LAUGHING) 157 00:08:33,959 --> 00:08:36,043 (SINGING) What's on my baseball? 158 00:08:36,128 --> 00:08:37,461 Baseball 159 00:08:37,546 --> 00:08:39,880 Great. So, since I have you for a second, 160 00:08:39,965 --> 00:08:43,509 you told me to remind you exactly a year ago today 161 00:08:43,593 --> 00:08:47,221 that it's been three years since my last pay increase. 162 00:08:47,306 --> 00:08:48,806 I don't think that's true. 163 00:08:48,890 --> 00:08:50,558 That doesn't ring... 164 00:08:50,642 --> 00:08:52,268 Does that seem accurate to you? 165 00:08:52,644 --> 00:08:54,395 That sounds false. 166 00:08:55,022 --> 00:08:56,731 But you crushed it tonight! 167 00:08:56,815 --> 00:08:59,483 CLAIRE: It's not false, Tito. It's entirely accurate. 168 00:08:59,568 --> 00:09:01,819 And I wrote down what you said. 169 00:09:01,903 --> 00:09:04,697 Oh, Claire, I don't know why you always have to quote. 170 00:09:04,781 --> 00:09:07,116 "Claire, exactly one year from today 171 00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:09,618 "I'm going to give you a raise so big 172 00:09:09,703 --> 00:09:12,663 "you'll cream your jeans and shat your chaps. " 173 00:09:12,748 --> 00:09:16,584 Claire. That is wildly inappropriate. 174 00:09:16,918 --> 00:09:18,586 MICHELLE: Wildly. TITO: Lowbrow, Claire. 175 00:09:18,670 --> 00:09:21,130 CLAIRE: I run your entire organization, Michelle. 176 00:09:21,381 --> 00:09:22,381 I do a great job. 177 00:09:22,466 --> 00:09:24,759 I made myself available for you 24 hours a day 178 00:09:24,843 --> 00:09:27,345 while being a single mom, I might add. 179 00:09:27,429 --> 00:09:29,889 I deserve a raise and a title change. 180 00:09:29,973 --> 00:09:31,557 I'd like "Executive Assistant. " 181 00:09:32,684 --> 00:09:36,062 Now that surprises me, 'cause I did not know that you had a child. 182 00:09:36,813 --> 00:09:39,482 Was that through... Was that through intercourse? 183 00:09:39,733 --> 00:09:40,733 Yes. 184 00:09:40,817 --> 00:09:42,151 MICHELLE: You know what? Good for you. 185 00:09:42,944 --> 00:09:45,237 Michelle, if you can't give me a raise, 186 00:09:45,322 --> 00:09:46,822 I can't continue to work here. 187 00:09:49,951 --> 00:09:52,745 Well, look who finally showed up to my seminar. 188 00:09:53,663 --> 00:09:56,082 (CLAPPING) MICHELLE: 'Bout time, Claire. I love it. 189 00:09:56,166 --> 00:09:58,000 I didn't know if you were listening all these years. 190 00:09:58,085 --> 00:09:59,168 What am I always saying? 191 00:09:59,294 --> 00:10:00,419 "Don't go in that room. " 192 00:10:00,504 --> 00:10:03,130 MICHELLE: True. I do say that. But I also say, 193 00:10:03,382 --> 00:10:06,133 "If you want something, you gotta take it. " 194 00:10:06,218 --> 00:10:08,260 Claire, you just took it. 195 00:10:08,345 --> 00:10:10,179 And you grew a pair in the process. 196 00:10:10,263 --> 00:10:11,597 I'm holding your earrings. (CHUCKLES) 197 00:10:11,681 --> 00:10:13,849 You're holding a pair of earrings 198 00:10:14,142 --> 00:10:17,395 that in 2001, I paid $62,000 for. 199 00:10:18,188 --> 00:10:20,773 And that's your raise, now. That's a good raise. 200 00:10:20,857 --> 00:10:21,982 And you earned it. 201 00:10:22,359 --> 00:10:23,401 Thank you. 202 00:10:23,485 --> 00:10:25,820 Congratulations on your balls, Claire. 203 00:10:27,197 --> 00:10:28,864 MICHELLE: Isn't Tito the greatest? (FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS) 204 00:10:28,949 --> 00:10:30,282 CLAIRE: I love Tito. 205 00:10:30,575 --> 00:10:31,784 MICHELLE: What are you doing up here? 206 00:10:31,868 --> 00:10:34,537 Miss Darnell, this just came for you. They said it was urgent. 207 00:10:35,872 --> 00:10:37,456 (PHONE RINGING) 208 00:10:39,251 --> 00:10:40,376 Oh, it's ringing. 209 00:10:44,089 --> 00:10:45,089 MICHELLE: (GROANS) Oh, boy. 210 00:10:45,924 --> 00:10:47,216 Go for Darnell. 211 00:10:47,801 --> 00:10:50,094 RENAULT: (VIA PHONE) I will not be ignored. 212 00:10:50,345 --> 00:10:51,345 Ah. (CHUCKLES) 213 00:10:51,847 --> 00:10:53,722 MICHELLE: Hi there, Ronald. 214 00:10:54,349 --> 00:10:55,474 It's "Renault. " 215 00:10:55,934 --> 00:10:58,811 Why are you muscling in on my Takoro deal? 216 00:10:59,688 --> 00:11:01,397 You know what? A little birdie told me 217 00:11:01,481 --> 00:11:04,191 that Takoro was merging with Samson International. 218 00:11:04,276 --> 00:11:06,277 So I acquired the majority of the stock. 219 00:11:06,361 --> 00:11:08,821 That's called insider trading, Michelle. 220 00:11:08,905 --> 00:11:10,739 Which makes you a criminal. 221 00:11:10,824 --> 00:11:13,200 You're going to be sorry you ever dishonored me. 222 00:11:13,285 --> 00:11:15,911 God, for the last time, you're not a samurai, Ronald. 223 00:11:15,996 --> 00:11:16,996 It's "Renault"! 224 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:20,332 No, it's not. It's "Ron," and you're from Jersey. 225 00:11:26,631 --> 00:11:29,341 Phil. Take off that ridiculous top. 226 00:11:29,551 --> 00:11:31,177 You should never cover that up. 227 00:11:31,261 --> 00:11:32,303 Okay. 228 00:11:32,888 --> 00:11:35,347 Please don't forget you have an interview first thing Monday. 229 00:11:35,432 --> 00:11:36,515 MICHELLE: We'll see. 230 00:11:37,392 --> 00:11:39,268 Let me just... Let me just help you out there. 231 00:11:45,650 --> 00:11:47,443 You'll regret this, Michelle! 232 00:11:47,694 --> 00:11:49,069 (LAUGHS MANIACALLY) 233 00:11:52,449 --> 00:11:54,200 Get me the SEC. 234 00:11:54,284 --> 00:11:55,284 Okay. 235 00:11:55,994 --> 00:11:59,580 We are back with the one and only, Michelle Darnell. 236 00:11:59,664 --> 00:12:01,874 Let's talk about your relationship with your mentor, 237 00:12:01,958 --> 00:12:04,293 that mega mogul, Ida Marquette. 238 00:12:04,878 --> 00:12:07,546 Well, Gayle, we've got a terrific relationship. 239 00:12:07,631 --> 00:12:09,256 Really? I'm so surprised to hear that, 240 00:12:09,341 --> 00:12:12,718 only because we came across this tape the other day. Take a look. 241 00:12:12,844 --> 00:12:15,054 Oh. IDA: I was Michelle's mentor. 242 00:12:15,138 --> 00:12:16,805 It's so hard to describe her. 243 00:12:16,890 --> 00:12:20,893 She's a business woman, a visionary, a leader, 244 00:12:20,977 --> 00:12:23,521 a natural born (BLEEPING) cocksucker, a motherfucker, 245 00:12:23,605 --> 00:12:25,773 an ass-wipe, a shit stain, 246 00:12:25,857 --> 00:12:29,652 and sewer rat, fuck-face, professional. 247 00:12:29,903 --> 00:12:30,903 (SNICKERING) 248 00:12:31,238 --> 00:12:32,821 Doesn't sound so chummy. 249 00:12:32,948 --> 00:12:35,783 Oh, I think a couple of those beeps were actually compliments. 250 00:12:35,867 --> 00:12:37,409 That's one way to look at it. 251 00:12:37,494 --> 00:12:39,161 Michelle, I want to talk about you. 252 00:12:39,246 --> 00:12:42,206 That you were, basically, abandoned as a child, 253 00:12:42,290 --> 00:12:44,833 bounced around from foster home to foster home, 254 00:12:44,918 --> 00:12:47,753 and that, really, you were raised in an orphanage. 255 00:12:47,837 --> 00:12:49,088 No, no, no. 256 00:12:49,172 --> 00:12:54,510 I was lucky enough to attend a beautiful, lovely elite boarding school, 257 00:12:54,594 --> 00:12:57,179 very much like Hogwarts, to give you a visual. 258 00:12:57,264 --> 00:13:00,641 And almost as magical. I feel very lucky. 259 00:13:05,897 --> 00:13:07,147 Where'd you get that? 260 00:13:07,232 --> 00:13:08,816 GAYLE: We've got a really good research team, 261 00:13:08,900 --> 00:13:10,776 and when I look at that picture, I don't think "elite. " 262 00:13:10,860 --> 00:13:12,528 Can we talk about this for a second? 263 00:13:13,738 --> 00:13:15,781 This interview is over. Where are you going? 264 00:13:15,865 --> 00:13:17,366 I was not trying to upset you, Michelle. 265 00:13:17,492 --> 00:13:18,909 Why are you leaving? MICHELLE: You know what, Gayle? 266 00:13:19,035 --> 00:13:21,870 Nobody spells "Gayle" with a "Y." It's pretentious. 267 00:13:22,247 --> 00:13:23,747 You've got a great story to tell. 268 00:13:23,832 --> 00:13:25,165 Keeping the mic! 269 00:13:26,084 --> 00:13:28,711 Gayle King ambushed me. You get that segment pulled before it airs. 270 00:13:28,795 --> 00:13:29,878 Miss Darnell, you're under arrest 271 00:13:29,963 --> 00:13:32,381 for insider trading and defrauding the Securities Exchange Commission. 272 00:13:33,258 --> 00:13:34,425 Are you kidding me? 273 00:13:34,509 --> 00:13:35,676 Would I kid you? 274 00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:37,219 Claire, call my lawyer. Okay. 275 00:13:37,304 --> 00:13:38,345 Stay back. 276 00:13:38,430 --> 00:13:40,389 What do you make a year? I'll double it. 277 00:13:40,473 --> 00:13:41,640 Did you just try to bribe me? 278 00:13:41,725 --> 00:13:44,143 No. I mean, unless you're tempted... 279 00:13:44,894 --> 00:13:46,604 Hey! This is... 280 00:13:46,688 --> 00:13:48,939 This is not reasonable. Claire! 281 00:13:49,024 --> 00:13:50,357 Don't fight it, Michelle! Let me go! 282 00:13:50,775 --> 00:13:52,067 Ooh. Don't struggle, baby! 283 00:13:54,029 --> 00:13:55,321 Renault ratted me out! 284 00:13:55,405 --> 00:13:58,324 It's just insider trading! Everybody does it! 285 00:13:58,408 --> 00:14:00,242 You are fighting with the wrong redhead! 286 00:14:01,745 --> 00:14:02,745 (GRUNTS) 287 00:14:02,829 --> 00:14:04,538 Yeah. I'm out. 288 00:14:04,623 --> 00:14:07,166 I'mma get my job back at Best Buy. Boom! 289 00:14:07,959 --> 00:14:09,376 God, you're the worst. 290 00:14:09,836 --> 00:14:10,878 FEMALE NEWSCASTER: In breaking news... 291 00:14:11,212 --> 00:14:14,423 Michelle Darnell was sentenced to five months in federal prison 292 00:14:14,507 --> 00:14:15,883 for insider trading. 293 00:14:15,967 --> 00:14:18,093 (DOGS GROWLING) Currently, Darnell Enterprise stocks... 294 00:14:18,178 --> 00:14:20,429 I told you you'd regret it. 295 00:14:20,513 --> 00:14:22,806 STEPHAN: You can really hold onto a grudge. 296 00:14:22,891 --> 00:14:24,558 I can't believe you two used to date. 297 00:14:24,643 --> 00:14:25,934 RENAULT: Ah. It was the Go-Go Nineties. 298 00:14:26,019 --> 00:14:28,228 She was my yin, I was her yang. 299 00:14:28,605 --> 00:14:32,941 Our bodies were intertwined, but our spirits were in constant opposition. 300 00:14:33,026 --> 00:14:34,109 Dynamic. 301 00:14:34,277 --> 00:14:35,819 (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) 302 00:14:38,698 --> 00:14:39,823 (SOFT GROAN) 303 00:14:39,949 --> 00:14:41,033 I got this promotion locked! 304 00:14:41,159 --> 00:14:42,284 Mmm-hmm. Yeah. 305 00:14:42,369 --> 00:14:43,619 Don't worry. Once I become senior VP, 306 00:14:43,703 --> 00:14:45,037 nothing's gonna change between us. 307 00:14:45,121 --> 00:14:48,082 It better not. You look so fucking rad when you do coke. 308 00:14:48,833 --> 00:14:50,876 BRYCE: Hey, guys! Guys! 309 00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:52,044 What? 310 00:14:52,128 --> 00:14:54,046 They're about to announce who gets the promotion. 311 00:14:54,130 --> 00:14:55,255 Pretty exciting, huh? 312 00:14:55,340 --> 00:14:56,757 Fuck off, Bryce! 313 00:14:57,300 --> 00:14:58,926 BOSS: All right, listen up, everybody. 314 00:14:59,010 --> 00:15:00,302 I'd like you all to join me 315 00:15:00,387 --> 00:15:05,808 in offering a hearty congratulations to our newest senior VP. 316 00:15:06,726 --> 00:15:08,227 Michelle Darnell! 317 00:15:08,978 --> 00:15:10,062 Oh, my... 318 00:15:10,146 --> 00:15:11,772 What? (CHUCKLING) Oh, my God. 319 00:15:11,856 --> 00:15:13,273 (STAMMERING) 320 00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:14,525 I totally... 321 00:15:14,901 --> 00:15:16,902 Fuck off if you think that you can take 322 00:15:16,986 --> 00:15:18,612 my client list and I wasn't gonna notice. 323 00:15:18,697 --> 00:15:19,738 You bitch. 324 00:15:19,823 --> 00:15:22,574 Oh, thank you! That's so supportive, Ron. 325 00:15:22,659 --> 00:15:24,410 I couldn't have done it without you. 326 00:15:24,828 --> 00:15:26,286 Ron! Coffee! 327 00:15:26,371 --> 00:15:29,123 "Ron" is gone. 328 00:15:31,334 --> 00:15:32,584 End of broadcast. 329 00:15:34,462 --> 00:15:36,213 (DOOR ALARM BUZZING) 330 00:15:36,297 --> 00:15:37,506 MICHELLE: It's bullshit, Marty. 331 00:15:37,590 --> 00:15:40,050 I take one little tip from an insider 332 00:15:40,135 --> 00:15:42,428 and I find myself in an absolute hellhole. 333 00:15:42,512 --> 00:15:45,848 I mean, look at me, fighting for my life in the yard. 334 00:15:45,932 --> 00:15:47,349 MARTY: Well, the news gets worse. 335 00:15:47,475 --> 00:15:49,852 All your accounts have been frozen. MICHELLE: What? 336 00:15:50,145 --> 00:15:52,187 Your shareholders have all sold off. 337 00:15:52,272 --> 00:15:54,148 Renault is orchestrating a hostile takeover 338 00:15:54,274 --> 00:15:56,108 of your entire holding company. 339 00:15:56,192 --> 00:15:58,110 No. Darnell Enterprises is bankrupt. 340 00:15:58,194 --> 00:16:00,821 Can he do that? Turn off the machine, Don. 341 00:16:00,905 --> 00:16:02,114 No, he cannot. 342 00:16:02,198 --> 00:16:04,867 Yes, he can. He actually did it beautifully. 343 00:16:06,536 --> 00:16:07,870 (CHOKING) 344 00:16:10,206 --> 00:16:12,040 That's my Adam's apple, you bitch! 345 00:16:12,125 --> 00:16:13,959 Claire, get me a new lawyer. 346 00:16:14,043 --> 00:16:15,085 There's not gonna be another lawyer 347 00:16:15,170 --> 00:16:16,295 if you don't have any money, 348 00:16:16,379 --> 00:16:17,671 you stupid ginger! 349 00:16:18,465 --> 00:16:21,133 You know what? I'm a ginger, but I'm a natural redhead. 350 00:16:21,217 --> 00:16:22,718 Not that you're ever gonna find out. 351 00:16:22,802 --> 00:16:25,471 Because you will never be invited into my basement. 352 00:16:25,555 --> 00:16:27,222 I don't wanna see your basement! 353 00:16:27,307 --> 00:16:28,307 MICHELLE: Yes, you do! 354 00:16:28,391 --> 00:16:30,225 And by the way, Claire works for me. 355 00:16:30,310 --> 00:16:31,393 CLAIRE: Actually, Michelle, 356 00:16:31,895 --> 00:16:34,396 I can't work for you anymore. I got a new job. 357 00:16:34,481 --> 00:16:36,231 I just came to tell you as a courtesy. 358 00:16:36,608 --> 00:16:38,400 I would think a courtesy would be 359 00:16:38,485 --> 00:16:40,736 you sticking with me through my tough times, Claire. 360 00:16:40,820 --> 00:16:42,905 I would. You know I have a kid to think about, so... 361 00:16:42,989 --> 00:16:44,364 You have a kid? 362 00:16:45,742 --> 00:16:48,160 I can't tell if you're joking because I did tell you 363 00:16:48,244 --> 00:16:50,204 that I do have a kid. And I... I am. 364 00:16:50,288 --> 00:16:51,246 Remember? Yes. 365 00:16:51,372 --> 00:16:53,749 You do? I am. I'm joking. I gotcha. 366 00:16:53,833 --> 00:16:55,083 Okay. Zinger. 367 00:16:58,338 --> 00:17:01,590 MICHELLE: Hello, gal. I wasn't into you but I was flattered. 368 00:17:02,467 --> 00:17:05,761 Okay, here we go. Tom, do you mind grabbing that bag for me? 369 00:17:06,429 --> 00:17:08,180 Kimberly, I thought you had today off. 370 00:17:08,264 --> 00:17:09,306 Yeah, I knew you were leaving. 371 00:17:09,390 --> 00:17:10,599 You're sweet, Kimberly. (CHUCKLES) 372 00:17:10,683 --> 00:17:12,351 Now, you're gonna remember what I told you? 373 00:17:12,435 --> 00:17:13,393 Yes. Okay? 374 00:17:13,478 --> 00:17:14,853 Stocks are gonna go up and down. 375 00:17:14,938 --> 00:17:16,647 The big money's in the long game. 376 00:17:16,731 --> 00:17:17,856 Thank you so much, Michelle. 377 00:17:17,982 --> 00:17:19,107 Thank you, Tom. You're so sweet. 378 00:17:20,109 --> 00:17:21,610 We're actually gonna miss you around here. (SIGHS) 379 00:17:21,694 --> 00:17:24,446 Well, I would hope so! It sounds right to me. 380 00:17:24,531 --> 00:17:26,698 All right, give me my freedom. 381 00:17:26,825 --> 00:17:27,825 (BELL RINGING) 382 00:17:34,040 --> 00:17:36,625 Yep, the air is sweeter out here. 383 00:17:38,294 --> 00:17:40,838 Did you set up a ride? 384 00:17:40,922 --> 00:17:42,464 No, I was assuming that a town car 385 00:17:42,549 --> 00:17:44,049 or something would be provided. 386 00:17:44,133 --> 00:17:45,717 KIMBERLY: Lock it up, Danny. 387 00:17:45,802 --> 00:17:46,802 (LAUGHING) 388 00:17:46,970 --> 00:17:49,137 You know, she thought a town car was coming! 389 00:17:50,098 --> 00:17:51,765 Well, could you call a cab? 390 00:17:54,769 --> 00:17:55,978 I'll get one myself. 391 00:18:00,733 --> 00:18:04,361 MICHELLE: Okay, this is my house right up here. This is good. 392 00:18:43,818 --> 00:18:44,860 (GRUNTS) 393 00:18:46,821 --> 00:18:47,988 (SIGHS) 394 00:18:58,625 --> 00:18:59,833 Oh, come on! 395 00:19:01,794 --> 00:19:02,794 Hey! 396 00:19:03,296 --> 00:19:05,631 Can you please stop ringing the door? 397 00:19:05,715 --> 00:19:08,425 Hi. Does Claire Rawlings live here? 398 00:19:08,509 --> 00:19:09,551 I don't know. 399 00:19:10,178 --> 00:19:12,262 You don't know because you're not very bright, or... 400 00:19:12,555 --> 00:19:14,890 I'm not supposed to talk to strangers. (MICHELLE CHUCKLES) 401 00:19:15,892 --> 00:19:17,809 You know what? Are you Claire's daughter? 402 00:19:17,894 --> 00:19:19,686 I thought you were in jail. 403 00:19:20,521 --> 00:19:24,691 Aren't you charming for yelling that out on the street like that. 404 00:19:25,526 --> 00:19:26,735 May I? 405 00:19:26,819 --> 00:19:27,903 No way. 406 00:19:28,363 --> 00:19:29,571 MICHELLE: Why not? 407 00:19:29,656 --> 00:19:32,574 Because Mom's at work and you're fresh out of prison. 408 00:19:33,576 --> 00:19:36,244 Okay, white-collar crime doesn't count! 409 00:19:36,329 --> 00:19:37,663 Yes, it does! 410 00:19:37,747 --> 00:19:39,915 No, it does not. It does not. 411 00:19:51,177 --> 00:19:52,344 Hi. Hi. 412 00:19:53,054 --> 00:19:54,054 (SNORTS) 413 00:19:54,597 --> 00:19:55,764 Whoa. 414 00:19:56,015 --> 00:19:58,183 Claire. Wow. 415 00:19:58,393 --> 00:19:59,351 Hi, Dana. 416 00:19:59,435 --> 00:20:02,479 My goodness, you are so late. 417 00:20:02,563 --> 00:20:03,563 I am? 418 00:20:04,273 --> 00:20:06,858 You're right. You're absolutely right, Dana. 419 00:20:06,943 --> 00:20:08,652 I'm three minutes late. 420 00:20:08,736 --> 00:20:11,446 Hey, do you work at the excuse factory? 421 00:20:12,115 --> 00:20:14,616 I wasn't making an excuse. I was just agreeing that I was a little... 422 00:20:14,701 --> 00:20:16,076 Well, I think that you're saying 423 00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:18,245 this is an excuse factory, right? 424 00:20:18,329 --> 00:20:19,746 Hey! Yo, Dana! Hey, hey, hey. 425 00:20:19,831 --> 00:20:21,373 MIKE: So, hey, I wanted to tell you. 426 00:20:21,457 --> 00:20:23,333 There is a bunch of people gathered in the break room... 427 00:20:23,418 --> 00:20:24,376 What, why? 428 00:20:24,460 --> 00:20:26,211 ...just raving about your fourth-quarter review. 429 00:20:26,295 --> 00:20:27,504 Who is? What? 430 00:20:27,797 --> 00:20:28,922 That's why I was late. 431 00:20:29,007 --> 00:20:32,801 Because we were all up there, you know, trading our favorite Dana stories. 432 00:20:32,885 --> 00:20:34,678 So it was... It's positive... 433 00:20:34,762 --> 00:20:36,138 It's good buzz? There's a lot of good buzz? 434 00:20:36,222 --> 00:20:37,889 Buzzworthy. Absolutely, yeah. I mean, they're raving. 435 00:20:38,016 --> 00:20:40,142 I have to go get coffee. Yeah, you do. (CHUCKLING) 436 00:20:40,643 --> 00:20:42,310 She's a nightmare. She's a tool. (SIGHS) 437 00:20:42,395 --> 00:20:43,770 She's so many things. 438 00:20:43,855 --> 00:20:45,814 She is definitely a lot of things. 439 00:20:45,898 --> 00:20:47,107 Uh... (CHUCKLING) 440 00:20:47,525 --> 00:20:49,735 Look at this, look at this! We have so much in common, me and you. 441 00:20:49,819 --> 00:20:51,153 We have a good banter here, right? 442 00:20:51,237 --> 00:20:52,237 A little back and forth. 443 00:20:52,321 --> 00:20:53,739 I think maybe we should 444 00:20:53,823 --> 00:20:55,741 try and keep this little banter wagon going, right? 445 00:20:55,825 --> 00:20:56,950 Maybe we can go hang out... 446 00:20:57,035 --> 00:21:00,537 We can dish about the boss, and gossip about stuff and... 447 00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:02,914 You know, probably do it over dinner or something, 448 00:21:02,999 --> 00:21:05,000 'cause all that dishing can be exhausting. 449 00:21:05,084 --> 00:21:06,543 Work up an appetite. 450 00:21:06,627 --> 00:21:09,504 Yeah, well, I'm... First of all, I'm flattered. 451 00:21:09,922 --> 00:21:11,173 It's a little complicated for me. 452 00:21:11,257 --> 00:21:14,259 I'm a single mom and I really try to, you know, 453 00:21:14,343 --> 00:21:16,303 devote a ton of energy to my kid, 454 00:21:16,387 --> 00:21:17,512 and see her as much as possible. 455 00:21:17,597 --> 00:21:20,599 I just don't think that it's a good time. 456 00:21:20,683 --> 00:21:22,225 Yeah, cool. 457 00:21:22,310 --> 00:21:23,810 I was hoping you would say that 458 00:21:23,895 --> 00:21:26,021 because I love rejection, so... (CHUCKLING) 459 00:21:26,439 --> 00:21:27,606 Cool. Cool. 460 00:21:27,690 --> 00:21:28,732 Sorry. 461 00:21:43,998 --> 00:21:45,874 (SNORING) Michelle. 462 00:21:49,754 --> 00:21:50,796 Michelle. (GASPS) 463 00:21:53,466 --> 00:21:55,425 MICHELLE: Hello. Hi! 464 00:21:56,552 --> 00:21:58,220 Hi. Hello, Claire. 465 00:21:58,638 --> 00:21:59,721 Surprise! 466 00:21:59,806 --> 00:22:01,389 What are you doing here? 467 00:22:01,557 --> 00:22:04,518 Oh, well, I had stopped at our old office 468 00:22:05,061 --> 00:22:07,229 and the security gentlemen did mention 469 00:22:07,313 --> 00:22:10,565 that you were now the curator of my estate. 470 00:22:10,650 --> 00:22:14,152 So, I just thought I should pop over 471 00:22:14,237 --> 00:22:16,029 and maybe pick up my things. 472 00:22:16,906 --> 00:22:19,950 Okay, I guess you wanna come up and grab it. 473 00:22:20,034 --> 00:22:22,077 Yes, absolutely. Do you need... 474 00:22:22,745 --> 00:22:25,080 If you'd like, you can grab that trunk. 475 00:22:25,164 --> 00:22:26,164 Oh, no. 476 00:22:26,707 --> 00:22:27,916 (CLEARS THROAT) 477 00:22:32,004 --> 00:22:33,463 Well, this is just... 478 00:22:34,715 --> 00:22:35,715 This is... 479 00:22:36,717 --> 00:22:37,968 This can't be all of it. 480 00:22:38,052 --> 00:22:39,886 I mean, this isn't all of it. This is... 481 00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:42,264 Where are my things? 482 00:22:42,765 --> 00:22:46,518 My paintings, or, I mean, my Degas, my rugs, my... 483 00:22:47,019 --> 00:22:49,729 Where are my things? I'm really sorry, Michelle. 484 00:22:49,814 --> 00:22:51,523 They seized everything. 485 00:22:51,607 --> 00:22:52,899 This is what's left. 486 00:23:00,116 --> 00:23:01,158 (SIGHS) 487 00:23:02,451 --> 00:23:05,120 Martha Stewart got everything back. 488 00:23:05,204 --> 00:23:07,789 I mean, they rallied around her. They loved her more. 489 00:23:07,874 --> 00:23:11,626 Well, Michelle, know that Rachel and I are rooting for you, 490 00:23:11,711 --> 00:23:14,754 and, if you need us, you can always call 491 00:23:14,881 --> 00:23:17,924 or send a letter here, or just a quick text. 492 00:23:18,301 --> 00:23:19,968 Um, do you want me to help you out with this? 493 00:23:21,596 --> 00:23:24,347 If she doesn't have anywhere to go, she should stay here. 494 00:23:24,432 --> 00:23:27,976 Honey, she knows plenty of people. She has plenty of places to stay. 495 00:23:28,519 --> 00:23:30,687 Tito won't return any of my calls. 496 00:23:31,230 --> 00:23:32,647 My sweet Tito. 497 00:23:33,566 --> 00:23:35,108 Fucking Tito. 498 00:23:35,318 --> 00:23:36,359 (SIGHS) 499 00:23:36,444 --> 00:23:38,820 Mom, we can't let her sleep on the street. 500 00:23:39,155 --> 00:23:41,114 Do you really not have anywhere to go? 501 00:23:41,616 --> 00:23:43,200 No. I don't. 502 00:23:43,284 --> 00:23:45,160 Okay, you can stay here. 503 00:23:45,536 --> 00:23:47,913 But for a very limited amount of time. Okay? 504 00:23:48,039 --> 00:23:49,497 Yes. Just until you get back on your feet. 505 00:23:49,582 --> 00:23:50,582 All right? MICHELLE: Yes. 506 00:23:50,666 --> 00:23:52,083 CLAIRE: It's a small space. You know. 507 00:23:52,168 --> 00:23:54,085 It's tight sometimes for Rachel and I, so... 508 00:23:54,170 --> 00:23:57,088 It is really small, it's like... It's freaky small. 509 00:23:57,173 --> 00:23:59,382 Well, but you're welcome, here. 510 00:23:59,467 --> 00:24:02,177 If you need to crash, you can have the couch. 511 00:24:02,261 --> 00:24:04,179 Yes. We'll draw straws. Okay. 512 00:24:04,263 --> 00:24:06,348 It'll be a fun kind of roommate... 513 00:24:06,432 --> 00:24:07,474 It's not a negotiation. 514 00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:08,683 ...stuff. Okay. 515 00:24:10,603 --> 00:24:11,603 Ha. 516 00:24:11,854 --> 00:24:14,940 A bed inside a sofa. That's neat. 517 00:24:15,024 --> 00:24:17,525 Well, it's old, but it's comfortable, so... 518 00:24:18,194 --> 00:24:19,319 Thank you, Claire. 519 00:24:19,779 --> 00:24:20,904 Good night, Michelle. 520 00:24:25,952 --> 00:24:26,993 It's... 521 00:24:28,829 --> 00:24:29,871 Well... 522 00:24:32,375 --> 00:24:33,333 This isn't so... 523 00:24:33,417 --> 00:24:34,417 (YELPING) 524 00:24:34,710 --> 00:24:37,295 (GROANING) Oh, my God! Oh, God! 525 00:24:43,344 --> 00:24:44,427 Claire! 526 00:24:45,638 --> 00:24:48,223 I think I've shattered my pelvis. 527 00:24:58,818 --> 00:24:59,818 (SOFT GROAN) 528 00:25:00,820 --> 00:25:02,821 (GASPS) Oh, Michelle! Oh, my God. 529 00:25:02,905 --> 00:25:03,989 Claire! 530 00:25:04,073 --> 00:25:06,825 Michelle, why are you in my bed? 531 00:25:06,909 --> 00:25:09,077 Because your sofa threw me against a wall, 532 00:25:09,203 --> 00:25:11,329 and I've had a cellie for the last six months. 533 00:25:11,414 --> 00:25:14,249 I find it very difficult to sleep on my own. 534 00:25:14,959 --> 00:25:16,543 Wow. Okay. You're kicking up a lot of... 535 00:25:16,627 --> 00:25:18,253 Is that from... Is that me? 536 00:25:18,337 --> 00:25:19,337 I think... (BLOWS) 537 00:25:19,422 --> 00:25:21,006 Yeah, that's me. 538 00:25:21,090 --> 00:25:22,590 You know what? I got into 539 00:25:22,675 --> 00:25:24,342 a wee bit of your Scotch last night. 540 00:25:24,427 --> 00:25:26,428 And, you know what else I tried 541 00:25:26,554 --> 00:25:28,596 that I thought was terrific, was a Dorito. 542 00:25:29,015 --> 00:25:30,181 I think it was the cheese. 543 00:25:30,266 --> 00:25:33,852 I mean not a cheese found in nature, but cheese-adjacent. 544 00:25:33,936 --> 00:25:36,396 I just thought it was wonderful. 545 00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:37,897 What a wonderful chip. 546 00:25:38,816 --> 00:25:42,110 (SIGHS) Michelle, you can't sleep in my bed. I don't want you in here. 547 00:25:42,194 --> 00:25:43,653 You gotta get it together, Michelle. 548 00:25:43,738 --> 00:25:45,447 I am together, okay? 549 00:25:45,531 --> 00:25:48,325 This morning, I'm meeting with a bunch of old colleagues. 550 00:25:48,409 --> 00:25:49,951 I'm gonna pour this into something 551 00:25:50,036 --> 00:25:51,494 creamy and delicious, 552 00:25:51,579 --> 00:25:53,204 and see who takes a big sip. 553 00:25:53,289 --> 00:25:54,664 Get out, out of my bed. 554 00:25:54,749 --> 00:25:59,044 God. I see why this half of the bed maybe is empty. 555 00:25:59,128 --> 00:26:01,880 Okay? You're a real B- I- T-C-U-N-T in the morning. 556 00:26:01,964 --> 00:26:03,757 You think about that. 557 00:26:05,968 --> 00:26:07,677 Michelle, you gotta get out of the bathroom. 558 00:26:07,762 --> 00:26:10,764 I'm already late for work and Rachel's gonna be late for school. 559 00:26:10,848 --> 00:26:12,390 MICHELLE: Well, I'm going as fast as I can. 560 00:26:12,475 --> 00:26:13,808 You're welcome to come in. 561 00:26:14,393 --> 00:26:16,895 Fine, but we gotta get on a schedule if you're gonna be here... 562 00:26:16,979 --> 00:26:18,188 (GASPS) Oh, my God! 563 00:26:18,939 --> 00:26:20,023 Close your robe. 564 00:26:20,149 --> 00:26:21,274 No, absolutely not! 565 00:26:21,359 --> 00:26:24,402 I'm self-tanning and my legs are still wet. 566 00:26:24,820 --> 00:26:26,571 I can see your vagina. 567 00:26:26,655 --> 00:26:29,199 Well, congratulations and you're welcome! 568 00:26:29,283 --> 00:26:31,659 You know, I had it rejuvenated in 2010. 569 00:26:31,744 --> 00:26:33,620 They call it a vaguvenation! 570 00:26:34,163 --> 00:26:36,831 You know, it's like a soft silk coin purse. 571 00:26:36,916 --> 00:26:38,500 I can barely urinate. 572 00:26:38,584 --> 00:26:39,667 Oh, my God! 573 00:26:39,752 --> 00:26:40,835 Now, do me a favor 574 00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:43,129 and tell me if I have any streaks on my hamstrings. 575 00:26:43,214 --> 00:26:44,381 (GASPS) Oh, God! Put it away! 576 00:26:44,590 --> 00:26:45,715 Whoa. Put it away. 577 00:26:46,258 --> 00:26:47,926 Hi, Raquel! 578 00:26:48,010 --> 00:26:49,094 It's Rachel! 579 00:26:49,178 --> 00:26:50,261 Go grab your backpack, honey. 580 00:26:50,346 --> 00:26:52,722 We don't need to brush our teeth today. Our teeth are fine. 581 00:26:53,516 --> 00:26:56,518 You need to wipe some of that off your face. You know it dries darker? 582 00:26:56,602 --> 00:26:58,186 No, does it? CLAIRE: Yes. 583 00:26:58,270 --> 00:27:00,105 But that's not what the bottle says. 584 00:27:01,482 --> 00:27:04,818 Oh, it's okay. It's coming off like a dream on your towel. 585 00:27:04,902 --> 00:27:06,069 CLAIRE: You need to clean up the bathroom. 586 00:27:06,570 --> 00:27:10,115 And consider staying away from self-tanner altogether. 587 00:27:10,199 --> 00:27:13,076 Your pelvic region is the color of curry. 588 00:27:14,370 --> 00:27:16,287 (WHISPERING) Namaste, Claire. Thank you. 589 00:27:16,372 --> 00:27:17,539 It's not a compliment. 590 00:27:17,665 --> 00:27:18,665 Oh. 591 00:27:19,458 --> 00:27:20,458 (MOANING) 592 00:27:23,671 --> 00:27:25,588 BRYCE: All right, here's a little joke for everybody. 593 00:27:25,673 --> 00:27:28,633 What do golfers do on their day off? 594 00:27:29,385 --> 00:27:30,385 Putter around. 595 00:27:30,553 --> 00:27:32,178 (ALL LAUGHING) 596 00:27:35,933 --> 00:27:37,809 Tom, I'm gonna crunch those numbers for you, 597 00:27:37,893 --> 00:27:39,769 but I'm going to make you pay through the teeth. 598 00:27:40,438 --> 00:27:41,646 Oh. 599 00:27:41,730 --> 00:27:42,939 Bryce Crean! 600 00:27:43,023 --> 00:27:46,067 Oh, my God! How long has it been? 601 00:27:46,402 --> 00:27:49,028 You old son of a bitch! It has been too long! 602 00:27:49,113 --> 00:27:51,322 Terri. Hello, gentlemen. Hi... 603 00:27:51,907 --> 00:27:52,949 Carl. 604 00:27:53,159 --> 00:27:54,659 Oh. Look at that beard. 605 00:27:54,743 --> 00:27:57,162 How's that old ball-and-chain Pam treatin' ya? (CHUCKLING) 606 00:27:58,205 --> 00:27:59,914 Pam passed away four months ago. 607 00:28:01,250 --> 00:28:04,085 (SOFTLY) That's tough. That's tough. 608 00:28:04,170 --> 00:28:05,920 We're kind of in the middle of something here, Michelle. 609 00:28:06,005 --> 00:28:07,255 So, thank you very much. 610 00:28:07,882 --> 00:28:09,757 Word on the street, Bryce, is that 611 00:28:09,925 --> 00:28:11,759 you're just about to close on that Kraft deal. 612 00:28:11,844 --> 00:28:14,345 So if you want me to head up that division... 613 00:28:14,430 --> 00:28:18,433 I think I could be a pretty big asset to you on that account. 614 00:28:19,059 --> 00:28:21,728 You've got no capital and nobody likes you. 615 00:28:21,812 --> 00:28:23,563 Nobody here at this table likes you. 616 00:28:23,689 --> 00:28:26,232 Nobody at this entire club likes you. (WHISPERING) That's not true. 617 00:28:26,317 --> 00:28:28,359 Horrible, horrible feedback from everybody. 618 00:28:28,694 --> 00:28:31,946 So, thank you for the groveling. Good bye! 619 00:28:34,116 --> 00:28:35,366 Fuck off, Bryce. 620 00:28:35,701 --> 00:28:37,202 Yeah. You know what? 621 00:28:37,828 --> 00:28:39,120 You wouldn't even be here 622 00:28:39,205 --> 00:28:41,372 if I hadn't brought you in as a junior executive. 623 00:28:41,457 --> 00:28:42,749 And, Terri, you think anybody else 624 00:28:42,875 --> 00:28:44,083 would've hired you right out of college? 625 00:28:44,168 --> 00:28:46,044 No! I don't who the fuck you three are. 626 00:28:46,128 --> 00:28:47,128 But I'll guess this. 627 00:28:47,213 --> 00:28:49,255 I bet you got here climbing on my back somehow. 628 00:28:49,340 --> 00:28:51,299 Carl, I gave you that Landis account. 629 00:28:51,383 --> 00:28:55,595 I handed you your career and I'm the one that made Pam a sales rep! 630 00:28:55,679 --> 00:28:56,804 Pam is dead. 631 00:28:56,889 --> 00:28:58,306 Pam was a whore! 632 00:28:58,390 --> 00:29:00,975 She fucked her way through the whole IT department. 633 00:29:01,060 --> 00:29:03,186 And Terri knows it, 'cause you were in on it, too! 634 00:29:03,521 --> 00:29:04,979 MICHELLE: Yeah! CARL: The tech guys? 635 00:29:05,064 --> 00:29:06,564 You think Pam did all the tech guys? 636 00:29:06,649 --> 00:29:10,276 The lowest, weirdest, saddest guys! 637 00:29:10,361 --> 00:29:11,653 That's who Pam fucked! 638 00:29:11,737 --> 00:29:13,238 Go to hell, Michelle! Go to hell! 639 00:29:13,322 --> 00:29:16,115 When I get to hell, I'll tell Pam that you said hello, 640 00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:18,284 'cause she's probably down there fucking IT guys. 641 00:29:18,369 --> 00:29:22,622 Weird little guys, carrying wires around in weird hats. 642 00:29:22,706 --> 00:29:24,249 That's who she's fucking in hell. 643 00:29:24,333 --> 00:29:25,333 Yeah. 644 00:29:25,584 --> 00:29:26,751 I don't need you. 645 00:29:26,835 --> 00:29:29,462 I don't need you and you're gonna be sorry. 646 00:29:29,547 --> 00:29:31,005 'Cause I got a sweet deal for you 647 00:29:31,131 --> 00:29:32,590 and you're letting it walk out. 648 00:29:32,675 --> 00:29:35,134 You know, you want to be dumbasses? Be my guest. 649 00:29:35,219 --> 00:29:37,387 I'll tell you what, you're gonna regret this. 650 00:29:37,930 --> 00:29:39,055 Yow! 651 00:29:39,181 --> 00:29:40,515 (GROANING) 652 00:29:40,849 --> 00:29:42,892 Yow! Son of a bitch! 653 00:29:44,853 --> 00:29:46,521 Holy shit! Son of a bitch! 654 00:29:46,605 --> 00:29:48,022 How'd she survive that? 655 00:29:48,107 --> 00:29:49,774 BRYCE: 'Cause she's horrible. 656 00:29:49,858 --> 00:29:50,942 Let's go. 657 00:29:51,026 --> 00:29:52,527 MICHELLE: Mother of shite! 658 00:29:54,029 --> 00:29:55,488 I dinged my pelvis again. 659 00:30:02,663 --> 00:30:03,663 Ah. 660 00:30:04,248 --> 00:30:05,290 (EXHALES) 661 00:30:05,374 --> 00:30:06,791 Tell me everything. Okay. 662 00:30:06,875 --> 00:30:11,129 So, right off the top, Bryce ordered a Nicoise salad 663 00:30:11,213 --> 00:30:13,631 but he asked for the tuna to be really well done. 664 00:30:13,716 --> 00:30:16,009 But if it's a quality piece of tuna, you don't wanna have it... 665 00:30:16,093 --> 00:30:18,052 Not relevant. Okay, right. 666 00:30:19,179 --> 00:30:21,598 Bryce did everything you asked him to do. 667 00:30:21,682 --> 00:30:22,807 Michelle came in. She was like, 668 00:30:22,891 --> 00:30:23,975 "I wanna be in a business. " 669 00:30:24,059 --> 00:30:25,643 And he was like, "No dice. " 670 00:30:25,728 --> 00:30:28,354 And then, she fell down a flight of stairs. 671 00:30:28,439 --> 00:30:30,481 (GASPS) Did she hurt her wonderful body? 672 00:30:30,566 --> 00:30:32,442 I have a video of it. Do you wanna see? 673 00:30:34,737 --> 00:30:35,737 MICHELLE: I'll tell you what. 674 00:30:36,155 --> 00:30:37,322 Oh, look at her. STEPHAN: Mmm-hmm. 675 00:30:38,157 --> 00:30:39,282 Oh. (LAUGHING) 676 00:30:39,908 --> 00:30:41,200 (BOTH LAUGHING) 677 00:30:42,995 --> 00:30:44,495 Oh. 678 00:30:46,582 --> 00:30:48,207 DR. OZ: So you see the normal intestine. 679 00:30:48,584 --> 00:30:51,669 Now, notice the difference between that intestine and this intestine. 680 00:30:51,754 --> 00:30:54,839 I'm getting light-headed. Is there any of that brownie left? 681 00:30:54,965 --> 00:30:56,841 Yeah. I feel like my blood sugar's dropping. 682 00:30:56,925 --> 00:30:59,886 I should probably pop it with a little sugar. 683 00:31:01,639 --> 00:31:04,891 Holy shit! That is a good brownie. 684 00:31:04,975 --> 00:31:05,975 Language. 685 00:31:06,060 --> 00:31:07,894 Well, I'm sorry, you give me a holy-shit brownie. 686 00:31:07,978 --> 00:31:09,187 I'm gonna say, "Holy shit!" 687 00:31:09,271 --> 00:31:13,191 'Cause holy shit, this is a good brownie. 688 00:31:13,275 --> 00:31:15,568 I can't believe... Your mom makes these, right? 689 00:31:15,653 --> 00:31:17,570 Yeah, it's a family recipe. 690 00:31:17,946 --> 00:31:19,030 Hi! 691 00:31:20,824 --> 00:31:23,701 I'm pretty sure Michelle has diverticulitis. 692 00:31:23,786 --> 00:31:25,119 What? MICHELLE: I got it. 693 00:31:25,954 --> 00:31:27,747 I think it's pretty advanced, Claire. 694 00:31:27,831 --> 00:31:29,082 CLAIRE: Who said that? 695 00:31:29,166 --> 00:31:30,208 Doctor Oz. 696 00:31:30,292 --> 00:31:31,459 MICHELLE: Look. 697 00:31:31,585 --> 00:31:32,710 Oh, my God! 698 00:31:32,795 --> 00:31:34,379 There's my colon again. 699 00:31:34,463 --> 00:31:37,256 Okay, you need to get off the couch 700 00:31:37,341 --> 00:31:39,717 because you've been laying down for about three weeks. 701 00:31:39,802 --> 00:31:42,220 And, also, you have to start pulling your weight around here. 702 00:31:42,304 --> 00:31:43,429 We can start tonight. 703 00:31:43,514 --> 00:31:45,598 You can take Rachel to her Dandelions meeting. 704 00:31:45,724 --> 00:31:47,642 What? Why aren't you taking me? 705 00:31:47,726 --> 00:31:48,726 Sweetie, I can't. 706 00:31:48,811 --> 00:31:53,064 My boss, who is a massive fan of yours, by the way, 707 00:31:53,148 --> 00:31:55,400 has decided I need to go back in for the evening. 708 00:31:55,484 --> 00:31:56,484 CLAIRE: Okay? (CLAPS HANDS) 709 00:31:56,568 --> 00:32:00,488 Let's go! The most important part of the plan being "get off the couch. " 710 00:32:03,075 --> 00:32:05,660 I don't think I like sassy Claire. 711 00:32:07,830 --> 00:32:10,581 MICHELLE: All right. I want you to give me the lowdown on this meeting. 712 00:32:10,666 --> 00:32:12,750 What are my opportunities? What are my pitfalls? 713 00:32:12,835 --> 00:32:14,127 RACHEL: What do you mean? 714 00:32:14,211 --> 00:32:16,421 MICHELLE: Well, I want to know what I'm walking into. 715 00:32:16,588 --> 00:32:18,548 RACHEL: Oh, everyone's pretty nice. 716 00:32:19,717 --> 00:32:24,429 I forgot how many people ride the "L." It's kind of fascinating. 717 00:32:24,513 --> 00:32:28,433 Some people depend on this. Like, they don't have a car. 718 00:32:29,101 --> 00:32:30,143 Well, I know that. 719 00:32:31,562 --> 00:32:33,521 MICHELLE: Roller-skating or roller-blading? 720 00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:35,481 Roller-blading. 721 00:32:35,566 --> 00:32:37,275 Honey or agave nectar? 722 00:32:37,359 --> 00:32:39,026 Agave. No, they're both terrible. 723 00:32:39,445 --> 00:32:41,320 Cell phone, landline? 724 00:32:41,405 --> 00:32:43,614 What? Oh, God. 725 00:32:44,074 --> 00:32:45,783 Do you not know what that means? 726 00:32:45,868 --> 00:32:47,827 No. (SIGHS) Oh, Jesus. 727 00:32:48,454 --> 00:32:50,705 MICHELLE: Okay, this should be interesting. 728 00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:55,418 Ladies, big news. Great news. 729 00:32:56,211 --> 00:33:00,423 Marsha Swan's tabby cat, Spaghetti, is on the mend 730 00:33:00,507 --> 00:33:03,676 and expected to make a full recovery. 731 00:33:03,761 --> 00:33:05,011 Yay, Spaghetti! 732 00:33:07,598 --> 00:33:08,723 Yay! 733 00:33:10,142 --> 00:33:12,977 My daughter, Beth, was so worried about Spaghetti. 734 00:33:13,061 --> 00:33:14,979 Thank goodness she's back on her feet. 735 00:33:15,063 --> 00:33:18,065 Funny fact about Spaghetti, she hates spaghetti. 736 00:33:18,567 --> 00:33:20,401 You seem fucking crazy to me. 737 00:33:20,486 --> 00:33:21,444 Excuse me? 738 00:33:21,570 --> 00:33:23,154 Cute as a daisy to me. (GIGGLING) 739 00:33:23,989 --> 00:33:26,157 SANDY: Okay, now, not to sound too kookie, 740 00:33:26,241 --> 00:33:29,076 but let's talk "cookie" sales, that is. 741 00:33:29,244 --> 00:33:30,453 (ALL LAUGHING) 742 00:33:32,414 --> 00:33:36,667 Okay, so this year, we came in with $21,000. 743 00:33:36,919 --> 00:33:38,711 Pretty good job, big bucks. 744 00:33:38,796 --> 00:33:44,592 But Detroit is still in the lead for the year with $189,000. 745 00:33:45,052 --> 00:33:46,719 Can I just ask you, are these numbers 746 00:33:46,845 --> 00:33:48,513 you're talking about just cookie sales? 747 00:33:48,597 --> 00:33:51,557 And, if so, how many troupes are we talking about here? 748 00:33:52,017 --> 00:33:57,230 There are 3.2 million Dandelions all over the world 749 00:33:57,314 --> 00:34:00,358 blown across the earth, making a difference. 750 00:34:00,442 --> 00:34:01,609 Is this global? 751 00:34:02,069 --> 00:34:05,363 Wait, I recognize you. You're Michelle Darnell. 752 00:34:05,447 --> 00:34:07,198 Please, don't make a fuss. 753 00:34:07,282 --> 00:34:08,741 Oh, I'm gonna make a fuss. 754 00:34:08,826 --> 00:34:11,661 You're a convicted felon sitting in a room full of children. 755 00:34:11,745 --> 00:34:12,954 You're a criminal. 756 00:34:13,038 --> 00:34:14,372 It was white-collar crime. 757 00:34:14,456 --> 00:34:16,082 Okay, you don't have to defend me. 758 00:34:16,166 --> 00:34:17,458 You're such a loser. 759 00:34:17,918 --> 00:34:19,544 I'm sorry, what did he say? 760 00:34:19,920 --> 00:34:20,920 What? 761 00:34:21,004 --> 00:34:22,213 SANDY: Well, I would... (WHISPERING) Yeah. 762 00:34:22,297 --> 00:34:23,881 Excuse me. Hi. 763 00:34:23,966 --> 00:34:25,049 MICHELLE: I gotta ask you. 764 00:34:25,133 --> 00:34:28,886 Now are we talking part-time or full-time employees here? 765 00:34:28,971 --> 00:34:31,889 Nope, just happy volunteers. 766 00:34:31,974 --> 00:34:32,974 What? 767 00:34:33,058 --> 00:34:34,892 For your information, jailbird... 768 00:34:35,394 --> 00:34:36,727 She seems great. 769 00:34:36,812 --> 00:34:39,105 The Dandelions helps girls build leadership skills. 770 00:34:39,189 --> 00:34:41,023 It looks good on their high-school transcript 771 00:34:41,108 --> 00:34:42,650 and they are bettering their community, 772 00:34:42,776 --> 00:34:44,277 which is more than I can say for you. 773 00:34:44,361 --> 00:34:46,404 A- ha. What is your name? 774 00:34:46,488 --> 00:34:47,738 Helen Kreagan. 775 00:34:47,823 --> 00:34:50,449 Oh, you know what? I think you dropped something right here. 776 00:34:50,534 --> 00:34:52,159 You go fuck yourself. Go fuck yourself. 777 00:34:52,661 --> 00:34:53,786 (WHISPERING) Go fuck yourself. 778 00:34:54,162 --> 00:34:55,788 I don't think you know who you're talking to. 779 00:34:55,873 --> 00:34:58,416 I think I do. And I think I want you to fuck off. 780 00:34:58,500 --> 00:34:59,542 I don't think you do. 781 00:35:00,502 --> 00:35:01,502 (LAUGHING) 782 00:35:01,587 --> 00:35:02,587 Oh, my gosh! 783 00:35:03,881 --> 00:35:07,174 Can we just take a minute and give congrats to Sarah, here? 784 00:35:08,802 --> 00:35:11,762 Thank you. It's Sandy. It's Sandy. 785 00:35:11,847 --> 00:35:13,472 Or Sandy. I like Sarah. 786 00:35:13,557 --> 00:35:14,932 Whatever, either one. 787 00:35:15,017 --> 00:35:18,185 I gotta know how much are you selling these boxes for? 788 00:35:18,645 --> 00:35:20,938 SANDY: Girls. GROUP: $7. 789 00:35:21,023 --> 00:35:22,189 MICHELLE: $7? 790 00:35:22,691 --> 00:35:23,941 Ka-ching, right? 791 00:35:24,026 --> 00:35:28,029 I got a guy in Shanghai who can make this same box of cookies, 19 cents. 792 00:35:28,113 --> 00:35:30,448 This is an official meeting and you're interrupting it. 793 00:35:30,532 --> 00:35:32,158 Let's take a poll, show of hands. 794 00:35:32,284 --> 00:35:33,910 Who finds Helen to be a bummer? 795 00:35:35,829 --> 00:35:37,872 MICHELLE: Lots of hands. Oh, Helen. 796 00:35:38,123 --> 00:35:39,665 Toot. (CHUCKLING) 797 00:35:39,750 --> 00:35:40,750 (CLEARS THROAT) 798 00:35:41,209 --> 00:35:42,877 Do something, Mom. 799 00:35:43,462 --> 00:35:46,088 I object to parolees attending our meetings 800 00:35:46,173 --> 00:35:47,590 and I'd like to put that in the minutes. 801 00:35:48,050 --> 00:35:49,216 May I? 802 00:35:49,301 --> 00:35:50,801 Let me just handle this. 803 00:35:50,886 --> 00:35:52,887 Another great point by Helen. 804 00:35:52,971 --> 00:35:54,138 You know what, Helen? 805 00:35:54,222 --> 00:35:55,723 If you don't get off my fucking back, 806 00:35:55,807 --> 00:35:59,018 I'm gonna shove a box of chocolate clusters up that tight ass of yours. 807 00:35:59,227 --> 00:36:00,394 (GASPING) 808 00:36:00,479 --> 00:36:01,479 (GASPING) Oh. 809 00:36:01,939 --> 00:36:03,522 I would love to go to lunch. 810 00:36:03,607 --> 00:36:07,693 You're on. You got yourself a date. That sounds terrific, okay? 811 00:36:07,903 --> 00:36:09,779 MICHELLE: Sandy, I love that kerchief. 812 00:36:09,863 --> 00:36:10,863 (SOFTLY) Was that necessary? 813 00:36:10,948 --> 00:36:12,448 Super necessary. Yeah. 814 00:36:19,414 --> 00:36:20,957 (METAL RATTLING) 815 00:36:21,625 --> 00:36:22,959 (MICHELLE CHATTERING) 816 00:36:27,589 --> 00:36:28,923 CLAIRE: Michelle? 817 00:36:29,299 --> 00:36:30,424 Hi! What are you doing? 818 00:36:30,509 --> 00:36:31,717 What is all this? 819 00:36:31,802 --> 00:36:33,344 This is my way back, m'kay? 820 00:36:33,428 --> 00:36:35,805 You are looking at Darnell 2.0. 821 00:36:35,889 --> 00:36:37,556 I wondered when you were getting up. 822 00:36:37,766 --> 00:36:39,433 Have you not gone to bed yet? 823 00:36:39,518 --> 00:36:41,268 No, I have been up and percolating 824 00:36:41,353 --> 00:36:43,187 since 11:00 p. m. last night. 825 00:36:43,271 --> 00:36:45,189 Just great stuff, Claire! Okay. 826 00:36:45,273 --> 00:36:46,399 You're having a breakdown. 827 00:36:46,483 --> 00:36:49,986 No, no, no! I'm having a breakthrough, because of you. 828 00:36:50,070 --> 00:36:51,862 Sit down, I gotta show you this. 829 00:36:51,947 --> 00:36:56,450 Let me introduce you to my new golden goose... 830 00:36:58,286 --> 00:37:00,621 Darnell's Darlings. 831 00:37:00,706 --> 00:37:01,872 Rough sketches. 832 00:37:01,957 --> 00:37:03,499 So, I know. Those will be perfected. 833 00:37:03,583 --> 00:37:06,127 But, really, tell me, what's your initial thoughts? 834 00:37:07,629 --> 00:37:09,380 Stalin. Okay. 835 00:37:09,464 --> 00:37:11,215 Communist youth. All right! 836 00:37:11,633 --> 00:37:14,301 Japanese-y black power? 837 00:37:14,386 --> 00:37:16,929 My takeaway from that is "powerful." 838 00:37:17,305 --> 00:37:19,932 Powerful imagery and I'll take that any day of the week. 839 00:37:21,143 --> 00:37:22,184 Why are you up? 840 00:37:22,310 --> 00:37:24,603 Sit down, sleepyhead. Let's wake it up. 841 00:37:25,897 --> 00:37:28,065 Claire, we're gonna start a brownie company. 842 00:37:28,150 --> 00:37:30,901 No, we're gonna start a brownie empire. 843 00:37:30,986 --> 00:37:33,529 Okay? And we're gonna call it Darnell's Darlings. 844 00:37:33,989 --> 00:37:37,033 Illinois alone has 25,000 Dandelions. 845 00:37:37,117 --> 00:37:41,996 They're pulling in, in one year, $32,500,000. 846 00:37:42,330 --> 00:37:44,206 This is a global company. 847 00:37:44,291 --> 00:37:46,834 The Dandelions are making a billion dollars a year. 848 00:37:47,210 --> 00:37:50,337 Is that going in your pocket? Helen's probably pocketing it. 849 00:37:50,422 --> 00:37:52,256 I mean, that horrible bitch would take teeth 850 00:37:52,382 --> 00:37:54,258 right out of a kid. Am I wrong? 851 00:37:54,509 --> 00:37:57,845 If she could sell teeth, she'd rip kids' teeth out. 852 00:37:58,430 --> 00:38:00,931 I'm gonna let it go, but Helen's horrible. 853 00:38:01,016 --> 00:38:02,892 The Dandelions are a non-profit, Michelle. 854 00:38:02,976 --> 00:38:05,102 That money goes back into great programs for the girls. 855 00:38:05,187 --> 00:38:07,021 MICHELLE: Oh, great programs? That's interesting. 856 00:38:07,105 --> 00:38:09,148 Rachel, do me a favor. 857 00:38:09,232 --> 00:38:12,735 Tell your mom what was the last "great program" you completed. 858 00:38:12,944 --> 00:38:14,528 Go ahead, go ahead. 859 00:38:14,613 --> 00:38:17,656 Scout leader Sandy gave me a "Social Butterfly" badge. 860 00:38:17,741 --> 00:38:18,949 That's great! 861 00:38:19,284 --> 00:38:21,452 Tell her what a "Social Butterfly" badge is. 862 00:38:21,536 --> 00:38:26,040 I had to hold a conversation with a new person for 30 minutes... 863 00:38:26,500 --> 00:38:27,666 Okay. ... and demonstrate 864 00:38:27,751 --> 00:38:29,293 how to be a good hostess. 865 00:38:30,045 --> 00:38:32,922 Next week, I'm thinking maybe they'll arrange marriages. 866 00:38:33,215 --> 00:38:35,174 I'll tell you what, I'm gonna design 867 00:38:35,300 --> 00:38:37,259 a special new badge for the Dandelions. 868 00:38:37,344 --> 00:38:40,179 It's gonna be a real big one, so no one misses it. 869 00:38:40,263 --> 00:38:42,014 And I'm gonna make it a picture of a woman. 870 00:38:42,099 --> 00:38:46,060 A real sad woman with apron strings on, bent over in front of an oven. 871 00:38:46,144 --> 00:38:47,228 And it's gonna say, "You know why 872 00:38:47,312 --> 00:38:49,480 "we like vaginas better than your mouth? 873 00:38:49,564 --> 00:38:51,732 "Because they don't have teeth and they don't talk. " 874 00:38:51,983 --> 00:38:54,318 And you could turn that badge over and you're gonna realize 875 00:38:54,402 --> 00:38:56,821 that there's a man in the oven and she's giving him a blowjob. 876 00:38:57,280 --> 00:38:58,322 Good luck earning that! 877 00:38:58,406 --> 00:38:59,573 Michelle! 878 00:38:59,825 --> 00:39:01,534 I heard everything anyways. 879 00:39:01,910 --> 00:39:03,953 These girls are gonna earn some real money 880 00:39:04,037 --> 00:39:05,871 that can go towards a college fund, 881 00:39:06,248 --> 00:39:09,875 give them empowerment, give them a good sense of self. 882 00:39:09,960 --> 00:39:11,877 I find that exciting, Claire. 883 00:39:12,337 --> 00:39:14,255 It's a nice idea, Michelle, 884 00:39:14,339 --> 00:39:17,216 but it's also a crazy one. 885 00:39:17,300 --> 00:39:19,260 Claire, I want you to listen to me. 886 00:39:21,596 --> 00:39:23,806 You have an amazing product. 887 00:39:23,932 --> 00:39:26,684 You make a mind-blowing brownie. Okay. 888 00:39:26,768 --> 00:39:30,896 And I can sell anything I believe in, and I believe in your product. 889 00:39:31,273 --> 00:39:34,650 We can be partners. Not my assistant. Fifty-fifty. 890 00:39:34,985 --> 00:39:37,611 That's how much I believe in this. What do you say? 891 00:39:39,322 --> 00:39:41,073 I have to keep my job, Michelle. 892 00:39:41,199 --> 00:39:42,950 This is... It's just too risky. 893 00:39:43,743 --> 00:39:45,244 (SIGHS) Come on. 894 00:39:45,787 --> 00:39:47,788 You don't even like your job, Mom. 895 00:39:48,665 --> 00:39:50,583 Oh, that was beautiful timing. 896 00:39:50,667 --> 00:39:51,834 I didn't even set that up. 897 00:39:52,627 --> 00:39:54,753 You know what, Claire? Keep your terrible job. 898 00:39:54,838 --> 00:39:56,630 Do this on the side. 899 00:39:57,299 --> 00:40:00,009 Okay? Plus, it's gonna get me off your couch. 900 00:40:00,093 --> 00:40:01,135 I'm in. 901 00:40:01,636 --> 00:40:02,636 You're in? CLAIRE: Mmm-hmm. 902 00:40:03,138 --> 00:40:04,221 Let's do it, people! 903 00:40:04,306 --> 00:40:06,265 Okay, Rachel, you go get dressed. 904 00:40:06,349 --> 00:40:08,642 I'm gonna take you to school. We're gonna get some new recruits! 905 00:40:08,727 --> 00:40:11,103 (YAWNS) It's 4:00 a. m. I'm going back to bed. 906 00:40:11,188 --> 00:40:12,313 Night, sweetie. 907 00:40:12,397 --> 00:40:13,647 What? Okay, you know what? 908 00:40:13,732 --> 00:40:15,774 You get your rest, you're gonna need it! 909 00:40:15,859 --> 00:40:18,402 We gotta recruit some Darnell Darlings today! 910 00:40:18,486 --> 00:40:20,321 Claire, my quarterback, 911 00:40:20,405 --> 00:40:22,156 I need you to bust ass into that kitchen 912 00:40:22,240 --> 00:40:24,825 and start making pan after pan after pan of brownies, 913 00:40:24,910 --> 00:40:27,077 'cause that's how fast I'm gonna sell 'em, okay? 914 00:40:27,162 --> 00:40:28,996 Right now? Right now! All right? 915 00:40:29,080 --> 00:40:31,081 I may have tried to preheat that oven, 916 00:40:31,208 --> 00:40:33,209 so I think there's a little bit of a gas leak. 917 00:40:33,293 --> 00:40:34,668 Huh? If you think about it, it may be 918 00:40:34,836 --> 00:40:36,212 why you guys are feeling a little logy. 919 00:40:36,338 --> 00:40:39,506 Hey, Rach, you know what? Don't go to sleep! Don't go to sleep! 920 00:40:39,591 --> 00:40:40,591 Oh, my God! 921 00:40:41,509 --> 00:40:43,594 MICHELLE: Okay. We may have to walk her. 922 00:40:44,804 --> 00:40:46,013 (SCHOOL BELL RINGING) 923 00:40:47,140 --> 00:40:48,432 Ah. You know what? 924 00:40:48,516 --> 00:40:51,518 It feels good to kind of put the shine and polish back on again. 925 00:40:52,187 --> 00:40:54,438 People say it doesn't matter, but it does. 926 00:40:54,564 --> 00:40:56,774 Puts a little kick in your step. (MOTORCYCLE APPROACHING) 927 00:40:59,778 --> 00:41:01,278 Who is that beast? 928 00:41:01,738 --> 00:41:03,781 That's Chrystal Delveccio. 929 00:41:03,865 --> 00:41:06,033 She's always getting into fist fights. 930 00:41:06,576 --> 00:41:08,535 Later, Dad. MICHELLE: That's perfect. 931 00:41:08,870 --> 00:41:10,871 That is exactly the kind of gal we want to recruit. 932 00:41:10,956 --> 00:41:12,456 You know what? Another little tip. 933 00:41:12,540 --> 00:41:15,125 Look for girls that are named after precious stones. 934 00:41:15,210 --> 00:41:17,962 Topaz, Sapphire, Opal, Amber. 935 00:41:18,255 --> 00:41:19,421 They're all gonna spiral down. 936 00:41:19,506 --> 00:41:22,216 We want to get 'em when they're angry and fresh going in. 937 00:41:22,300 --> 00:41:24,593 Why don't you check out Chrystal's availability? 938 00:41:24,928 --> 00:41:25,928 Got it. 939 00:41:29,266 --> 00:41:31,225 My mom never lets me drink coffee. 940 00:41:31,309 --> 00:41:33,310 Really, why? 941 00:41:33,770 --> 00:41:35,312 She says it'll stunt your growth. 942 00:41:35,397 --> 00:41:37,106 That's not true. That's crazy. 943 00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:39,525 What, do you wanna be freakishly tall? 944 00:41:39,693 --> 00:41:41,068 (SCHOOL BELL RINGING) 945 00:41:41,820 --> 00:41:44,363 All right. Get in there, drum up some good recruits. 946 00:41:45,073 --> 00:41:47,074 (GASPS) I feel kind of sweaty and scared. 947 00:41:47,158 --> 00:41:48,993 That's just the coffee kickin' in. It's good for... 948 00:41:49,077 --> 00:41:51,912 Oh, you know what? Wait a minute, let me see something. 949 00:41:53,581 --> 00:41:55,040 Oh, I may have switched them. 950 00:41:55,125 --> 00:41:57,584 This one's yours. I put a little splash of bourbon in mine. 951 00:41:57,669 --> 00:41:58,836 That's okay. 952 00:41:59,671 --> 00:42:00,921 It's kind of a secret weapon. 953 00:42:01,464 --> 00:42:03,090 It's what makes the Irish so mean. 954 00:42:03,216 --> 00:42:04,800 And I can say that 'cause I'm Scottish! 955 00:42:05,593 --> 00:42:06,760 Go get 'em! 956 00:42:08,305 --> 00:42:11,849 SANDY: And so, due to some unforeseen complications, 957 00:42:11,933 --> 00:42:13,767 and just, um... 958 00:42:14,227 --> 00:42:15,436 Giving up... 959 00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:17,604 Spaghetti passed away last night. 960 00:42:17,689 --> 00:42:19,231 Listen up, motherfuckers! 961 00:42:19,316 --> 00:42:20,357 Michelle, language! 962 00:42:20,442 --> 00:42:21,859 Who here wants to hear about 963 00:42:21,943 --> 00:42:24,028 an un-freaking-believably exciting opportunity? 964 00:42:24,279 --> 00:42:25,279 Huh? 965 00:42:25,780 --> 00:42:27,573 All right! Woo! Look at this group! 966 00:42:28,491 --> 00:42:30,326 All right. What's with all the long faces? 967 00:42:30,410 --> 00:42:31,702 Did somebody die? (CHUCKLING) 968 00:42:31,786 --> 00:42:34,621 Yeah. Spaghetti died last night. 969 00:42:34,706 --> 00:42:35,956 Who is Spaghetti? 970 00:42:36,041 --> 00:42:37,207 The cat. 971 00:42:37,292 --> 00:42:39,293 The cat? Oh. Can I be honest? 972 00:42:39,377 --> 00:42:40,544 That cat probably killed himself 973 00:42:40,670 --> 00:42:41,837 because his name was "Spaghetti. " 974 00:42:41,963 --> 00:42:42,921 Right? Hey-oh! 975 00:42:43,006 --> 00:42:44,131 Michelle. MICHELLE: Oh... 976 00:42:44,966 --> 00:42:47,384 All right, okay. Why don't you take off, Sandy? 977 00:42:47,469 --> 00:42:48,677 It's my meeting and I'm... 978 00:42:48,803 --> 00:42:50,054 Okay. 979 00:42:50,138 --> 00:42:51,638 Go catch it. Go catch it. 980 00:42:51,723 --> 00:42:53,015 Really sorry about your loss. 981 00:42:53,350 --> 00:42:55,726 MICHELLE: As you already know, my name is Michelle Darnell 982 00:42:55,810 --> 00:42:56,810 and this is my partner. 983 00:42:56,936 --> 00:43:00,105 And by "partner," I don't mean like girl-on-girl kind of stuff. 984 00:43:00,231 --> 00:43:02,483 Whoa! What's "girl-on-girl stuff"? 985 00:43:03,151 --> 00:43:05,361 Uh, well, great question. I love an inquisitive mind. 986 00:43:05,445 --> 00:43:07,488 Girl-on-girl stuff is really just referring to 987 00:43:07,572 --> 00:43:10,115 something you're probably gonna dabble with in college, 988 00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:11,241 but not stick with, you know? 989 00:43:11,326 --> 00:43:12,368 Let's not... Don't tell her that. 990 00:43:12,452 --> 00:43:13,535 Unless you're Hannah. 991 00:43:13,620 --> 00:43:14,953 Hannah, you're gonna stick with it. (GIGGLING) 992 00:43:15,038 --> 00:43:16,038 Don't... You know what? Let's... 993 00:43:16,122 --> 00:43:18,624 And I got a hunch that your mom should've stuck with it. 994 00:43:18,708 --> 00:43:20,334 She wouldn't be so pent-up and angry. 995 00:43:20,668 --> 00:43:21,668 MICHELLE: That's my hunch. 996 00:43:21,753 --> 00:43:22,836 CLAIRE: Let's change the subject. 997 00:43:22,921 --> 00:43:26,799 We brought you guys some delicious homemade brownie treats. 998 00:43:26,883 --> 00:43:29,843 Ooh. Look at this! We brought treats, everybody! Treats! 999 00:43:29,928 --> 00:43:31,595 Let me ask you one question. 1000 00:43:31,679 --> 00:43:34,056 When you sell a box of cookies, what do you get? 1001 00:43:34,140 --> 00:43:36,975 You get points that can apply to your canoe trip. 1002 00:43:37,060 --> 00:43:39,561 Wrong, you get a big plate of bullshit! 1003 00:43:40,063 --> 00:43:42,898 That is 100% right, you beautiful giant! 1004 00:43:42,982 --> 00:43:45,484 Now, at Darnell's Darlings, we don't think that's right. 1005 00:43:45,568 --> 00:43:47,986 We think if you go out and sell a box of cookies, 1006 00:43:48,071 --> 00:43:49,571 we should give you 5% commission. 1007 00:43:49,864 --> 00:43:51,907 5% commission, every box you sell. 1008 00:43:51,991 --> 00:43:53,575 It was supposed to be 10%, I think. 1009 00:43:53,910 --> 00:43:55,577 That's right, we did say that. Yeah. 1010 00:43:55,662 --> 00:43:57,955 So far, you suck at this. Just letting you know that. 1011 00:43:58,039 --> 00:43:59,706 Okay, it's 10%. 1012 00:43:59,791 --> 00:44:02,334 You come work with us, you get a share of the profits. 1013 00:44:02,877 --> 00:44:04,128 Okay. Or you can stay here! 1014 00:44:04,212 --> 00:44:05,796 Be my guest and, I don't know, build some 1015 00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:08,173 dirty badger nests in some kind of tree. 1016 00:44:08,258 --> 00:44:10,050 Or what did you have planned, Sandy? 1017 00:44:10,552 --> 00:44:13,971 Well, actually, we were gonna build a dirty badger nest in a tree. 1018 00:44:14,973 --> 00:44:16,640 My God. 1019 00:44:16,724 --> 00:44:18,725 My God! And I was making that up. 1020 00:44:18,810 --> 00:44:22,813 I was trying to think of the worst possible scenario on Earth. 1021 00:44:22,897 --> 00:44:24,606 What the hell is going on in here? 1022 00:44:24,899 --> 00:44:27,234 I leave the room for one minute to talk to my landscaper 1023 00:44:27,318 --> 00:44:28,819 and the meeting goes into the toilet? 1024 00:44:29,070 --> 00:44:30,487 Sorry, Helen, we're almost done. 1025 00:44:30,572 --> 00:44:33,407 Okay, you guys, the best part about Darnell's Darlings 1026 00:44:33,491 --> 00:44:36,410 is that, for each box sold, an extra 10% 1027 00:44:36,494 --> 00:44:38,620 will go into a college fund for you. Okay? 1028 00:44:38,746 --> 00:44:41,665 We are gonna help you save for your college education. 1029 00:44:41,749 --> 00:44:45,711 Wait, are you trying to poach girls from a Dandelions meeting? 1030 00:44:45,962 --> 00:44:47,504 No! 1031 00:44:47,589 --> 00:44:50,507 Helen, we are not trying to poach girls. 1032 00:44:50,592 --> 00:44:54,678 We are actively and definitely poaching girls from this meeting. 1033 00:44:54,762 --> 00:44:55,762 HELEN: Get your hands off me. 1034 00:44:55,847 --> 00:44:57,306 Fuck you, Helen! You fuck you! 1035 00:44:58,141 --> 00:44:59,600 Tell your little shitty daughter, 1036 00:44:59,684 --> 00:45:01,977 never talk to Rachel like that again. 1037 00:45:02,061 --> 00:45:04,104 Let's um, go, girls. MICHELLE: Okay, girls! 1038 00:45:04,355 --> 00:45:07,024 Whoever wants to go to the fun room, come on with me! 1039 00:45:07,108 --> 00:45:10,777 Just down the hall. The bigger, the better room. We got foosball! 1040 00:45:11,154 --> 00:45:13,155 Okay. And I promise, no Helen! 1041 00:45:13,656 --> 00:45:15,824 Bye, Helen! Good luck with your product! 1042 00:45:16,451 --> 00:45:17,618 Oh, man. 1043 00:45:17,702 --> 00:45:18,744 I mean, what is it, anyway? 1044 00:45:18,828 --> 00:45:23,790 It looks like just a bunch of homemade, gluten-filled, sugar-filled, 1045 00:45:24,042 --> 00:45:25,542 diabetes cake. 1046 00:45:27,962 --> 00:45:28,962 (INHALES DEEPLY) 1047 00:45:33,968 --> 00:45:35,302 HELEN: With chocolate! 1048 00:45:35,929 --> 00:45:37,304 Oh, my God. 1049 00:45:38,723 --> 00:45:40,057 It's good. 1050 00:45:40,558 --> 00:45:42,017 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 1051 00:46:07,502 --> 00:46:08,585 MICHELLE: Now, what are we doing? 1052 00:46:08,670 --> 00:46:10,837 GROUP: Selling brownies! 1053 00:46:10,922 --> 00:46:12,923 Okay, what do we say if somebody doesn't want to buy? 1054 00:46:13,007 --> 00:46:14,591 "Buy my brownies or I'll kill you. " 1055 00:46:15,218 --> 00:46:16,260 Don't say that, Chrystal. 1056 00:46:16,344 --> 00:46:17,386 Say that. That's perfect. 1057 00:46:17,512 --> 00:46:19,429 All right, now go make some money! 1058 00:46:20,181 --> 00:46:21,390 Woo! 1059 00:46:21,516 --> 00:46:23,225 MICHELLE: The van leaves at 7:00! 1060 00:46:23,309 --> 00:46:25,477 If you're not back, we will leave without you! 1061 00:46:25,562 --> 00:46:27,938 No, we're not gonna leave. Nobody's leaving you. 1062 00:46:28,022 --> 00:46:29,815 We're leaving at 7:00 sharp. 1063 00:46:30,024 --> 00:46:32,025 MICHELLE: 7:00! CLAIRE: The van'll be here. 1064 00:46:32,610 --> 00:46:34,444 I didn't count how many there were. 1065 00:46:35,530 --> 00:46:36,822 I did. Whew. Oh, good. 1066 00:46:37,782 --> 00:46:39,199 (SOBBING) 1067 00:46:41,452 --> 00:46:43,203 (INAUDIBLE) 1068 00:46:46,040 --> 00:46:48,333 Okay, these are cut and cooled. Bag 'em. 1069 00:46:48,876 --> 00:46:50,294 Michelle, are you helping? 1070 00:46:50,378 --> 00:46:51,753 Yes, of course, I'm helping. 1071 00:46:57,844 --> 00:46:59,553 By the way, don't give him anymore freebies, okay? 1072 00:46:59,637 --> 00:47:01,888 He's gotta pay for them, just like everybody else. 1073 00:47:02,181 --> 00:47:03,307 Oh, they're so good! 1074 00:47:03,391 --> 00:47:05,892 There you are. All set. 1075 00:47:07,228 --> 00:47:08,270 Don't forget the tip. 1076 00:47:08,396 --> 00:47:09,479 Now, how could I? You're so big. 1077 00:47:09,564 --> 00:47:11,732 You've said it so many times. And, there, you got it. 1078 00:47:16,821 --> 00:47:18,155 Hi, do you have money? 1079 00:47:19,866 --> 00:47:20,907 Hey! 1080 00:47:21,242 --> 00:47:23,327 There ain't gonna be any brownies left in the world. 1081 00:47:23,411 --> 00:47:25,287 Get outta here. Go sell brownies! 1082 00:47:25,538 --> 00:47:26,705 (CHUCKLING) 1083 00:47:26,831 --> 00:47:28,707 Okay. Hello, Bonnie! 1084 00:47:28,791 --> 00:47:32,377 Look at this. Patrice, take that. 1085 00:47:32,462 --> 00:47:33,879 Take that and buy me something! 1086 00:47:33,963 --> 00:47:35,672 I'm just kidding, but if you want to... 1087 00:47:41,763 --> 00:47:45,515 Remember, girls, when the houses are nice, we double the price. 1088 00:47:45,600 --> 00:47:48,060 Rich people don't trust affordable snacks. 1089 00:47:48,186 --> 00:47:50,771 You know what? Let's go up to $10 a box. HELEN: Hey! 1090 00:47:52,732 --> 00:47:54,024 What do you think you're doing? 1091 00:47:54,108 --> 00:47:55,609 MICHELLE: Hi, Helen! 1092 00:47:55,943 --> 00:47:58,612 We're participating in the American Dream. 1093 00:47:58,696 --> 00:48:00,197 Not on this street, you're not. 1094 00:48:00,281 --> 00:48:02,115 This is Dandelion territory. 1095 00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:03,367 It's okay, Helen, we'll just... 1096 00:48:03,451 --> 00:48:04,951 HELEN: Shut up, Sandy! Okay. 1097 00:48:05,036 --> 00:48:06,078 You guys are losers! 1098 00:48:06,162 --> 00:48:08,372 Hey, suck my dick, Gigantor! 1099 00:48:08,456 --> 00:48:09,456 (ALL GASPING) You're fucking dead! 1100 00:48:09,540 --> 00:48:10,582 Hannah, stop it! 1101 00:48:10,833 --> 00:48:12,709 HELEN: We are not gonna behave like this! 1102 00:48:12,794 --> 00:48:13,960 Michelle. 1103 00:48:14,337 --> 00:48:15,379 A word? 1104 00:48:15,463 --> 00:48:16,630 MICHELLE: I'd be delighted. 1105 00:48:16,798 --> 00:48:20,801 First rule of business, pretend to negotiate and then take what you want. 1106 00:48:25,640 --> 00:48:27,307 Listen, jailbird. 1107 00:48:27,558 --> 00:48:29,309 You think because you used to be someone 1108 00:48:29,394 --> 00:48:30,769 that the rules don't apply to you 1109 00:48:30,853 --> 00:48:33,063 and your pathetic band of rejects? 1110 00:48:34,148 --> 00:48:35,315 Well, you're wrong, bitch. 1111 00:48:35,441 --> 00:48:37,067 Ugh. Helen! 1112 00:48:37,735 --> 00:48:40,487 You got a case of the old trench-mouth. 1113 00:48:40,571 --> 00:48:43,490 Did you let a corpse curl up and die in there? 1114 00:48:43,700 --> 00:48:44,825 RACHEL: Forget it, Michelle. 1115 00:48:45,159 --> 00:48:47,744 Let's just start on the next block. MICHELLE: No, no, no. 1116 00:48:48,162 --> 00:48:52,833 Second rule of business is when a stanky, hummus-eating bitch 1117 00:48:52,917 --> 00:48:56,503 and her yeti of a daughter gets in your face, 1118 00:48:56,838 --> 00:48:58,171 you gotta regulate. 1119 00:48:59,882 --> 00:49:01,842 Hannah, give me some space. 1120 00:49:04,512 --> 00:49:05,512 (ALL GASPING) 1121 00:49:05,596 --> 00:49:06,972 (CHUCKLING) 1122 00:49:07,181 --> 00:49:08,181 Oh. 1123 00:49:08,266 --> 00:49:10,016 How'd that taste? Nice. 1124 00:49:10,309 --> 00:49:11,560 (GROANING) 1125 00:49:14,564 --> 00:49:15,856 Chomp on that! 1126 00:49:15,940 --> 00:49:17,065 (DARLINGS CHEERING) 1127 00:49:20,319 --> 00:49:21,403 (GRUNTING) 1128 00:49:21,696 --> 00:49:23,447 Let's get 'em! 1129 00:49:23,614 --> 00:49:24,614 (ALL CLAMORING) 1130 00:49:41,215 --> 00:49:44,134 They're animals! They're animals! 1131 00:49:53,436 --> 00:49:54,895 Rachel's not done! 1132 00:49:55,229 --> 00:49:57,189 Rachel's thirsty for more! 1133 00:50:04,113 --> 00:50:05,238 Yeah! 1134 00:50:06,407 --> 00:50:08,533 Hey, Chrystal! I'm coming for you! 1135 00:50:08,993 --> 00:50:10,243 Bring it on! 1136 00:50:19,754 --> 00:50:21,922 Oh, no, you don't! You're not going anywhere! 1137 00:50:22,006 --> 00:50:24,174 Do you understand me? Dandelions never leave a street fight! 1138 00:50:24,258 --> 00:50:25,550 God damn it, Helen! 1139 00:50:25,635 --> 00:50:26,885 We're gonna wipe the floor! 1140 00:50:29,931 --> 00:50:31,431 Sandy, why? 1141 00:50:31,516 --> 00:50:33,433 'Cause I'm the leader, dang it! 1142 00:50:33,559 --> 00:50:34,976 You're a traitor! SANDY: No. 1143 00:50:35,770 --> 00:50:38,522 Move! That bitch is mine! 1144 00:50:38,606 --> 00:50:39,689 Wait. No! 1145 00:50:39,774 --> 00:50:43,193 Hey, time to put the cookies back in the cookie jar, Helen! 1146 00:50:43,277 --> 00:50:45,570 BOTH: Ooh. I warned you, Helen! I warned you! 1147 00:50:45,780 --> 00:50:47,447 Those clusters are scratching me! 1148 00:50:47,532 --> 00:50:49,616 Good! Darlings! 1149 00:50:50,159 --> 00:50:51,284 Let's go! 1150 00:50:52,537 --> 00:50:53,787 Stay down! 1151 00:50:53,871 --> 00:50:55,497 Don't tell your mom. Okay. 1152 00:50:55,623 --> 00:50:57,624 (PANTING) This was great. 1153 00:51:04,507 --> 00:51:05,507 Ooh! 1154 00:51:05,633 --> 00:51:07,259 That batch is burnt! 1155 00:51:09,428 --> 00:51:10,512 Bye. 1156 00:51:13,140 --> 00:51:14,516 One of 'em's in me. 1157 00:51:17,478 --> 00:51:19,813 MICHELLE: Hi, is there a Claire here? 1158 00:51:19,981 --> 00:51:21,231 Is Claire... 1159 00:51:23,651 --> 00:51:25,318 Hi! Where is Claire? 1160 00:51:25,403 --> 00:51:27,863 Section 509, but return on investment... 1161 00:51:27,947 --> 00:51:28,947 Ugh, ugh. 1162 00:51:29,448 --> 00:51:30,657 Oh. 1163 00:51:30,825 --> 00:51:32,868 Look at you, in the middle of everything... I'll call you back. 1164 00:51:32,952 --> 00:51:33,952 In a bullpen. 1165 00:51:34,036 --> 00:51:35,161 What are you doing here? 1166 00:51:35,705 --> 00:51:37,998 We're out of brownies. We need you to make more. 1167 00:51:38,332 --> 00:51:39,708 Well, I'm at work! 1168 00:51:40,167 --> 00:51:42,752 Uh, hi, there! Hey! You're Michelle Darnell. 1169 00:51:43,170 --> 00:51:44,713 Of course I am. (LAUGHS) Yes, you are. 1170 00:51:44,797 --> 00:51:46,715 Mike, this is Michelle. Michelle, Mike. 1171 00:51:46,883 --> 00:51:48,008 (INHALES DEEPLY) 1172 00:51:48,175 --> 00:51:49,175 Ah... 1173 00:51:49,677 --> 00:51:51,011 "Mike" Mike. 1174 00:51:52,263 --> 00:51:53,388 Oh. Rejected Mike. 1175 00:51:53,472 --> 00:51:55,181 The rejected Mike? Don't... 1176 00:51:55,266 --> 00:51:58,310 You know, he is kind of cute. I think you should toss him a pity date. 1177 00:51:58,394 --> 00:51:59,728 MIKE: I don't need the pity, 1178 00:51:59,812 --> 00:52:01,938 but I will take the date if that's out there. 1179 00:52:02,023 --> 00:52:03,106 If that's an option. 1180 00:52:03,190 --> 00:52:05,567 Pity's all you've got. Pity's your best friend. 1181 00:52:05,860 --> 00:52:07,527 Okay. Good to know. Okay. 1182 00:52:07,612 --> 00:52:09,404 Just stop talking to him, okay? Leave him alone. 1183 00:52:09,488 --> 00:52:11,031 DANA: What is going on here? 1184 00:52:11,365 --> 00:52:13,575 (STAMMERING) Oh, my... Greatest. Okay. 1185 00:52:14,035 --> 00:52:15,785 You are Michelle Darnell. 1186 00:52:15,870 --> 00:52:17,078 Guilty as charged. 1187 00:52:17,204 --> 00:52:20,165 Oh, wow. I have two personal heroes in my life, 1188 00:52:20,249 --> 00:52:22,375 and I am staring at one of them right now. 1189 00:52:22,585 --> 00:52:24,961 Oh, no. No touching. No. 1190 00:52:25,212 --> 00:52:27,255 Curious to know who the other one is. 1191 00:52:27,340 --> 00:52:29,674 It's Benedict Cumberbatch, and you. 1192 00:52:30,217 --> 00:52:33,595 Huh. I did not peg you for a "Cumbersnatch. " 1193 00:52:33,888 --> 00:52:35,597 That's me. Cumbersnatch. 1194 00:52:35,681 --> 00:52:37,015 You seem like a real Cumbersnatch. 1195 00:52:37,099 --> 00:52:38,892 Well, thank you so, so much. 1196 00:52:38,976 --> 00:52:40,060 You're welcome. Oh... 1197 00:52:40,686 --> 00:52:42,228 Thank you. Great encounter. 1198 00:52:42,313 --> 00:52:45,732 It's always fun. And I think I'm done with you. 1199 00:52:45,983 --> 00:52:49,611 Absolutely. And, madam, it was an honor. 1200 00:52:49,695 --> 00:52:51,780 Off you go! And here I am, okay. 1201 00:52:53,908 --> 00:52:54,908 MICHELLE: Strange girl. 1202 00:52:56,452 --> 00:52:57,577 Okay. 1203 00:52:58,371 --> 00:53:02,165 Claire, if this company is going to work, I need you full time. 1204 00:53:02,249 --> 00:53:03,792 I can't have you here. 1205 00:53:04,460 --> 00:53:06,169 Are you in or are you out? 1206 00:53:06,253 --> 00:53:08,171 I can't just leave my job! 1207 00:53:08,255 --> 00:53:10,298 I mean, I have to have a steady income. 1208 00:53:10,383 --> 00:53:11,758 I have Rachel to think about. 1209 00:53:11,842 --> 00:53:14,219 No, no, no. This is for Rachel. Okay? 1210 00:53:14,303 --> 00:53:16,888 If this works out the way I know it's going to work out, 1211 00:53:16,973 --> 00:53:18,598 it's gonna set you two up for life. 1212 00:53:19,100 --> 00:53:20,266 We're already making enough money 1213 00:53:20,351 --> 00:53:22,018 to pay your rent and all your bills, 1214 00:53:22,103 --> 00:53:25,730 and I'm just about to put a very big fish on the hook as our investor. 1215 00:53:25,815 --> 00:53:26,982 This is what I do. 1216 00:53:27,066 --> 00:53:28,608 Okay? You know that. 1217 00:53:29,360 --> 00:53:30,986 You have to trust me. 1218 00:53:32,363 --> 00:53:34,030 I do hate this job. 1219 00:53:34,657 --> 00:53:36,491 I mean, it's a terrible job. 1220 00:53:37,284 --> 00:53:39,285 My God. I mean, look at him. 1221 00:53:39,745 --> 00:53:42,247 He's slumped over, asleep. I hope he's asleep. 1222 00:53:42,331 --> 00:53:44,040 You don't want to be that guy. 1223 00:53:44,792 --> 00:53:46,001 What do you say? 1224 00:53:47,712 --> 00:53:48,795 Okay. 1225 00:53:48,879 --> 00:53:50,714 Yes. I'm all in. 1226 00:53:50,798 --> 00:53:52,382 Dana, I quit. 1227 00:53:52,591 --> 00:53:54,592 I'm gonna start my own business, okay? 1228 00:53:54,677 --> 00:53:56,845 I have my own business. Yes, she does. 1229 00:53:56,929 --> 00:53:58,763 Guys, it was lovely here. 1230 00:53:58,848 --> 00:54:01,349 Not really, but I hope you all have a wonderful day. 1231 00:54:01,434 --> 00:54:03,643 Mike, would you still like to go on that date? 1232 00:54:03,728 --> 00:54:04,811 Uh, yes, I would. 1233 00:54:04,895 --> 00:54:07,313 I'm free tomorrow at 7:30. Bring your A-game. 1234 00:54:08,024 --> 00:54:10,608 Tracy? Wake up! I'm out! 1235 00:54:10,693 --> 00:54:12,402 MICHELLE: Wake it up, Tracy! 1236 00:54:12,486 --> 00:54:13,486 No. No. 1237 00:54:13,571 --> 00:54:14,779 No, thank you. I'm so... 1238 00:54:14,989 --> 00:54:17,115 Ooh. No. I'm very flattered. 1239 00:54:18,826 --> 00:54:21,953 Seems like a good night for sexual activity, Claire. 1240 00:54:22,163 --> 00:54:23,163 (CHUCKLES) 1241 00:54:23,247 --> 00:54:26,291 How long has it been since you've had sexual activity? 1242 00:54:27,293 --> 00:54:31,171 Stop yelling "sexual activity. " 'Cause Rachel might hear you. 1243 00:54:32,840 --> 00:54:34,466 You know, you're the one that's yelling 1244 00:54:34,592 --> 00:54:36,217 "sexual activity" out in the hallway. 1245 00:54:36,510 --> 00:54:38,261 Just answer the question, Claire. 1246 00:54:38,345 --> 00:54:39,512 I don't know. 1247 00:54:39,597 --> 00:54:41,347 If I had to guess, 1248 00:54:41,682 --> 00:54:44,601 maybe four, five, six years? 1249 00:54:45,311 --> 00:54:47,854 What? Oh, my God. Did you take a vow? 1250 00:54:47,938 --> 00:54:50,190 It's very hard to find a good sitter. 1251 00:54:50,691 --> 00:54:52,776 Okay. We'll go with that. I just... 1252 00:54:52,860 --> 00:54:54,652 I'm gonna say, it probably doesn't help 1253 00:54:54,737 --> 00:54:57,447 that you're dressed like you grocery-shop at a CVS. 1254 00:54:58,115 --> 00:54:59,115 What? 1255 00:54:59,200 --> 00:55:00,533 I love this sweater. 1256 00:55:00,868 --> 00:55:02,243 I don't know why you would. 1257 00:55:02,328 --> 00:55:04,370 This sweater goes with everything. It's a neutral. 1258 00:55:04,497 --> 00:55:07,874 It doesn't go with you or your skin, or your face. 1259 00:55:08,125 --> 00:55:10,794 That sweater is the equivalent of a sandwich board 1260 00:55:10,878 --> 00:55:12,629 that just says, "I give up. " 1261 00:55:12,713 --> 00:55:15,298 And then in the back, it says, "I never started tryin'." 1262 00:55:16,092 --> 00:55:17,717 It somewhat looks like you have 1263 00:55:17,802 --> 00:55:22,597 sewn together two very long, sad tube socks and then filled each end 1264 00:55:22,973 --> 00:55:25,934 with wet sand and rocks. 1265 00:55:26,018 --> 00:55:27,435 What are you talking about? 1266 00:55:27,520 --> 00:55:29,145 It just looks like two basset hounds 1267 00:55:29,271 --> 00:55:30,897 may have cried themselves to death 1268 00:55:30,981 --> 00:55:32,440 in your sweater. 1269 00:55:32,525 --> 00:55:34,901 I like it. I think this looks great. 1270 00:55:35,569 --> 00:55:36,653 Can I... (GASPS) 1271 00:55:36,737 --> 00:55:38,071 Michelle! Well... 1272 00:55:38,155 --> 00:55:39,280 You are... I had to check. 1273 00:55:39,365 --> 00:55:40,573 I didn't know what was in there. 1274 00:55:40,658 --> 00:55:42,784 You're making me feel very insecure right before my date. 1275 00:55:42,868 --> 00:55:43,952 Don't! 1276 00:55:44,036 --> 00:55:46,287 If your breasts could speak right now, 1277 00:55:46,372 --> 00:55:48,581 I think they'd be saying, "Claire, 1278 00:55:48,749 --> 00:55:50,875 "please don't zip me up in your jeans. " 1279 00:55:51,001 --> 00:55:52,293 That is... You're gonna zip a nipple. 1280 00:55:52,378 --> 00:55:53,586 That's not what they'd say. 1281 00:55:53,671 --> 00:55:55,588 May I adjust your strap? 1282 00:55:55,714 --> 00:55:57,674 'Cause I'm trying to help you, Claire. (SIGHS) 1283 00:55:57,758 --> 00:55:59,634 You say, "Be more helpful." And I'm trying to be helpful. 1284 00:55:59,760 --> 00:56:00,844 You can tighten the strap. 1285 00:56:00,928 --> 00:56:02,637 Okay. What... 1286 00:56:02,721 --> 00:56:04,347 Just a little, 'cause I want it... 1287 00:56:04,431 --> 00:56:05,640 What is that toggle? 1288 00:56:06,600 --> 00:56:07,892 Oh, it's a nursing bra. 1289 00:56:08,561 --> 00:56:10,728 Oh, my God. Are you still nursing Rachel? 1290 00:56:10,813 --> 00:56:14,232 No, it's from when she was a baby. But it's very comfortable. 1291 00:56:14,441 --> 00:56:16,442 That's not comfortable to see. 1292 00:56:16,527 --> 00:56:17,902 Now, let me see this. 1293 00:56:17,987 --> 00:56:20,446 It's very often a fit issue. (EXHALES) 1294 00:56:21,115 --> 00:56:22,365 Why do these have so much pull? 1295 00:56:22,491 --> 00:56:23,700 All right, well... (GASPS) 1296 00:56:23,784 --> 00:56:26,536 Claire! It's like Geppetto! 1297 00:56:26,620 --> 00:56:28,872 Look at that. Look at this. It's like, "Horses, horses. " 1298 00:56:28,956 --> 00:56:30,039 It's like I'm... Oh, my God. 1299 00:56:30,124 --> 00:56:31,708 Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay! 1300 00:56:31,792 --> 00:56:33,376 It feels good. I need to be comfortable. 1301 00:56:33,460 --> 00:56:35,378 It doesn't feel good to my eyes. 1302 00:56:35,462 --> 00:56:37,088 Can I just put 'em where they're supposed to be? 1303 00:56:37,173 --> 00:56:39,382 And I want you to be able to see the difference. 1304 00:56:39,466 --> 00:56:42,719 You got "Happy girl", and then, uh-oh. 1305 00:56:43,012 --> 00:56:44,137 They just drop out. 1306 00:56:44,722 --> 00:56:46,931 And I should not be able to separate... 1307 00:56:47,016 --> 00:56:48,099 Okay. All right. They're heavier, but... 1308 00:56:48,184 --> 00:56:50,185 So how do you like it when I just get in there and bang around? 1309 00:56:50,311 --> 00:56:51,811 I love it. Why is there not... 1310 00:56:52,104 --> 00:56:53,188 Oh, there's no give. 1311 00:56:53,272 --> 00:56:55,481 Look at that. I can't even feel that. 1312 00:56:55,566 --> 00:56:56,608 That's when you know... 1313 00:56:59,320 --> 00:57:01,529 I don't feel it, okay? 100*% silicone. 1314 00:57:01,614 --> 00:57:04,449 And not the kind that's supposed to ever be inside the body. 1315 00:57:04,575 --> 00:57:06,201 (SNORTING) I know. They're fantastic. 1316 00:57:06,285 --> 00:57:07,327 That's something else. 1317 00:57:07,411 --> 00:57:08,453 Might feel that. 1318 00:57:08,537 --> 00:57:09,704 That's my nipple. 1319 00:57:10,414 --> 00:57:12,498 Yeah, they're up here, where they should be. Oh, my God. 1320 00:57:12,583 --> 00:57:14,083 No, see, you need to bring 'em down. 1321 00:57:14,168 --> 00:57:15,752 No! They can't, anyway, no. 1322 00:57:15,836 --> 00:57:17,879 That's what you need to do. They're too high, Michelle. 1323 00:57:18,005 --> 00:57:19,297 There's a structure. Stop. No. 1324 00:57:19,381 --> 00:57:20,506 If we were... You need to... 1325 00:57:20,549 --> 00:57:22,425 Look, just take 'em a little bit lower. Oh, my God. 1326 00:57:22,509 --> 00:57:23,676 How about that? I paid a fortune for these. 1327 00:57:23,761 --> 00:57:24,928 No, I'm gonna bring 'em... I'm keepin' 'em up! 1328 00:57:25,012 --> 00:57:26,012 Just gonna push 'em right down. 1329 00:57:26,096 --> 00:57:27,096 I'm trying to help you not... 1330 00:57:27,181 --> 00:57:28,765 What're you guys doing? 1331 00:57:28,933 --> 00:57:30,225 Hey, there! 1332 00:57:30,309 --> 00:57:33,561 We're just... There was a... Probably a... 1333 00:57:33,646 --> 00:57:34,687 I was... Bugs. 1334 00:57:34,772 --> 00:57:38,816 We were jostling each other's bosoms like... 1335 00:57:39,109 --> 00:57:40,193 Gals do. 1336 00:57:40,277 --> 00:57:41,778 No, we weren't. 1337 00:57:41,862 --> 00:57:44,864 I was just trying to help your mom here get ready for her big date. 1338 00:57:44,990 --> 00:57:47,450 I'm a little nervous. She's a little bit nervous. 1339 00:57:47,534 --> 00:57:50,370 Always gotta stretch your boobs when you're nervous. 1340 00:57:51,622 --> 00:57:52,664 RACHEL: You should change. 1341 00:57:53,040 --> 00:57:55,166 That's your TV-watching sweater. 1342 00:57:55,793 --> 00:57:57,001 Thank you. 1343 00:57:57,670 --> 00:57:59,796 Okay. Thank you for that. 1344 00:57:59,880 --> 00:58:01,589 Okay, well, we're gonna leave you to it. 1345 00:58:01,674 --> 00:58:03,049 You can treat yourself to a little underwire 1346 00:58:03,133 --> 00:58:05,218 and something that doesn't look like you sell ceramics. 1347 00:58:05,302 --> 00:58:07,262 Let's go watch a movie. I'm babysitting. 1348 00:58:07,346 --> 00:58:09,389 Have you seen Texas Chainsaw Massacre? No. 1349 00:58:09,515 --> 00:58:11,224 I'm kidding! I'm not kidding. 1350 00:58:14,186 --> 00:58:16,271 (INDISTINCT CHATTERING) 1351 00:58:19,066 --> 00:58:20,191 (SIGHS) 1352 00:58:24,029 --> 00:58:25,238 Hi. 1353 00:58:25,406 --> 00:58:28,616 Hi. Oh, my God. You look gorgeous. 1354 00:58:28,701 --> 00:58:30,827 I'm wearing a bra, a new bra. It's not new. 1355 00:58:30,911 --> 00:58:32,829 It's old. I just haven't worn it in a while. 1356 00:58:32,913 --> 00:58:35,915 Hey, you know what, I went with an old bra tonight, too, so... 1357 00:58:36,875 --> 00:58:37,959 Let's get a table. 1358 00:58:38,085 --> 00:58:39,210 Absolutely. 1359 00:58:40,754 --> 00:58:44,048 I wanted to tell you earlier actually, on a serious note. 1360 00:58:44,717 --> 00:58:47,051 When you walked out the other day from work, 1361 00:58:47,136 --> 00:58:48,970 quite dramatically, I might add, 1362 00:58:49,054 --> 00:58:50,430 six other people quit. 1363 00:58:50,848 --> 00:58:52,682 What? Mmm-hmm. They just walked out. 1364 00:58:52,766 --> 00:58:54,475 Oh, my God. I know, right? 1365 00:58:54,601 --> 00:58:55,768 I started a chain reaction. 1366 00:58:55,853 --> 00:58:57,145 You started a huge chain reaction. 1367 00:58:57,229 --> 00:58:58,438 Six people walked out 1368 00:58:58,522 --> 00:59:00,064 and then immediately three people walked back inside. 1369 00:59:00,149 --> 00:59:01,441 I think they were outside smoking. 1370 00:59:01,734 --> 00:59:03,318 But it was like you were a cult leader. 1371 00:59:03,444 --> 00:59:05,028 It was like a tremendous show of support. 1372 00:59:05,112 --> 00:59:07,613 It was, like, very inspiring. 1373 00:59:08,032 --> 00:59:10,033 Really? Yeah, really. 1374 00:59:10,451 --> 00:59:11,826 Do you find that hard to believe? 1375 00:59:11,952 --> 00:59:14,662 That I'm tremendously inspiring? Yeah. 1376 00:59:14,747 --> 00:59:16,205 Yeah, a bit. Really? 1377 00:59:16,290 --> 00:59:17,874 Well, let me tell you something, lady. 1378 00:59:17,958 --> 00:59:20,293 You are more than a little inspiring. 1379 00:59:22,838 --> 00:59:25,048 I have been talking ad nauseam here. 1380 00:59:25,174 --> 00:59:27,383 Can you, uh, grab the mic for a sec? 1381 00:59:28,385 --> 00:59:30,261 Well, I, um... 1382 00:59:30,346 --> 00:59:32,972 I got knocked up in grad school by my TA. 1383 00:59:33,057 --> 00:59:34,265 When he found out I was pregnant, 1384 00:59:34,350 --> 00:59:36,059 he pretended like we didn't know each other. 1385 00:59:36,143 --> 00:59:37,935 What? Then gave me a "D." 1386 00:59:38,020 --> 00:59:39,395 What? Yeah, nice surprise. 1387 00:59:39,480 --> 00:59:40,521 Yeah. 1388 00:59:40,606 --> 00:59:42,398 But I got a great kid out of it. 1389 00:59:42,733 --> 00:59:43,900 I bet you're a great mom. 1390 00:59:44,026 --> 00:59:45,193 I try. 1391 00:59:45,277 --> 00:59:47,904 I mean, unless she is currently unsupervised. Then you're a horrible mom. 1392 00:59:47,988 --> 00:59:49,739 No, she's with Michelle. 1393 00:59:49,823 --> 00:59:51,407 She's with Michelle? Yes. 1394 00:59:51,492 --> 00:59:53,117 She's your felon babysitter. 1395 00:59:54,036 --> 00:59:56,329 (LAUGHING) Oh! Oh, my God! 1396 00:59:56,413 --> 00:59:58,498 Rachel, it's the goriest part! 1397 00:59:58,582 --> 01:00:00,792 It's the goriest part. You're missing it! 1398 01:00:00,876 --> 01:00:04,170 Oh, my God. He's killing her with a chainsaw. 1399 01:00:04,254 --> 01:00:05,380 Oh. 1400 01:00:05,839 --> 01:00:07,924 I have a felon watching my child. 1401 01:00:08,008 --> 01:00:09,175 That just occurred to you, didn't it? 1402 01:00:09,259 --> 01:00:10,510 Yes, it did. Yeah. 1403 01:00:10,594 --> 01:00:12,470 It's good thing I'm here. Let's have some more wine. 1404 01:00:12,846 --> 01:00:15,056 Absolutely, yeah. Hey, excuse me. 1405 01:00:15,349 --> 01:00:18,184 Hi. Do you think maybe we could get two more glasses of the... 1406 01:00:18,977 --> 01:00:20,520 No. Hold on. 1407 01:00:21,313 --> 01:00:23,272 Bring us a bottle of whatever the lady would like 1408 01:00:23,357 --> 01:00:26,109 in the twenty-five to twenty-eight dollar range. 1409 01:00:26,944 --> 01:00:29,445 Sure, I'll send somebody to Walgreens to get you something nice. 1410 01:00:29,530 --> 01:00:31,948 Cool. You guys do that? What's with that? 1411 01:00:32,032 --> 01:00:33,324 (LAUGHING) Oh, my God! 1412 01:00:34,201 --> 01:00:36,202 Is that like a really cheap bottle of wine? 1413 01:00:39,331 --> 01:00:42,166 IDA: You got a lot of balls showing up here, Darnell. 1414 01:00:42,876 --> 01:00:46,087 Listen, Ida, I know you're still mad at me, and I don't blame you. 1415 01:00:46,213 --> 01:00:48,172 I shouldn't have cut you out of that Emerson deal. 1416 01:00:48,257 --> 01:00:50,133 But if it makes it any better, 1417 01:00:50,217 --> 01:00:52,468 I made a blinding amount of money on that deal. 1418 01:00:54,680 --> 01:00:58,433 You know the first time I saw you? Twenty-three years old. 1419 01:00:58,517 --> 01:01:00,518 (CHUCKLES) Yeah. I knew right away, 1420 01:01:00,853 --> 01:01:02,770 you were a tough, money-hungry, 1421 01:01:02,855 --> 01:01:05,857 self-serving, see-you-next-Tuesday gal 1422 01:01:05,941 --> 01:01:07,316 just like me. 1423 01:01:07,401 --> 01:01:11,571 And that's why I decided to mentor you. Just let you get too close. 1424 01:01:12,322 --> 01:01:14,699 I started to think of you as family. 1425 01:01:16,410 --> 01:01:18,744 Well, families are for suckers, right? 1426 01:01:19,455 --> 01:01:20,746 That's for sure. 1427 01:01:21,832 --> 01:01:23,666 What do you want, Michelle? 1428 01:01:23,750 --> 01:01:25,334 I need an investor. 1429 01:01:25,919 --> 01:01:27,712 Oh, for your little brownie venture? 1430 01:01:28,422 --> 01:01:30,298 How do you even know about that? 1431 01:01:30,674 --> 01:01:33,926 Because I'm Ida Marquette. I know everything. 1432 01:01:34,595 --> 01:01:35,595 Here. 1433 01:01:36,680 --> 01:01:37,930 Come on, Ida. 1434 01:01:38,015 --> 01:01:40,183 I'm sure you got quite an overhead on this glue factory here. 1435 01:01:40,267 --> 01:01:42,435 Do you want in or not? You know, 1436 01:01:44,188 --> 01:01:46,355 I once made love on a pool table 1437 01:01:46,440 --> 01:01:48,441 in Hot Coffee, Mississippi 1438 01:01:48,567 --> 01:01:51,444 with six members of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. 1439 01:01:52,738 --> 01:01:53,905 Are you stroking out? 1440 01:01:53,989 --> 01:01:55,281 What does this have to do with 1441 01:01:55,365 --> 01:01:57,325 what we're talking about right now? 1442 01:01:57,493 --> 01:02:00,703 The point is, Darnell, I have very few regrets in my life. 1443 01:02:01,538 --> 01:02:04,582 But you... You were my best protégée. 1444 01:02:05,667 --> 01:02:06,667 Tell you what. 1445 01:02:06,752 --> 01:02:10,880 I'll back you, if this checks out. Just for old times' sake. 1446 01:02:11,131 --> 01:02:12,173 Okay. 1447 01:02:12,257 --> 01:02:13,799 If you'll excuse me, Shawshank, 1448 01:02:14,176 --> 01:02:16,177 I'm late for my morning ride. 1449 01:02:16,261 --> 01:02:17,428 IDA: Yes! 1450 01:02:18,472 --> 01:02:19,555 Okay. 1451 01:02:19,640 --> 01:02:21,307 You better make me a shitload of money. 1452 01:02:21,391 --> 01:02:22,850 Away, Butters! 1453 01:02:23,060 --> 01:02:24,477 (HORSE WHINNYING) 1454 01:02:28,732 --> 01:02:30,399 MICHELLE: Come on! Eat up, ladies. 1455 01:02:30,484 --> 01:02:31,859 This is a celebratory dinner. 1456 01:02:31,944 --> 01:02:33,569 We got our investor. 1457 01:02:33,654 --> 01:02:35,404 Okay. Here we go. 1458 01:02:37,533 --> 01:02:38,824 Hoo-hoo-hoo. 1459 01:02:38,951 --> 01:02:40,034 Look at this! 1460 01:02:40,410 --> 01:02:41,494 What is this? 1461 01:02:41,578 --> 01:02:44,664 Well, I feel it's time you become more adventurous. 1462 01:02:47,960 --> 01:02:49,168 (CHUCKLING) 1463 01:02:49,419 --> 01:02:51,170 RACHEL: Thank God! Pizza! 1464 01:02:51,421 --> 01:02:53,172 I know you don't like sushi. 1465 01:02:53,257 --> 01:02:55,132 Thank you, Michelle! I'm starving. 1466 01:02:55,551 --> 01:02:57,552 And fugu for the lady. 1467 01:02:57,928 --> 01:02:59,929 MICHELLE: Thank you, Ping. Fugu? 1468 01:03:00,472 --> 01:03:01,597 (EXHALES) 1469 01:03:02,182 --> 01:03:04,725 The infamous pufferfish. 1470 01:03:04,810 --> 01:03:08,896 When prepared incorrectly, it can lead to paralysis or even death. 1471 01:03:08,981 --> 01:03:10,189 But when it is prepared correctly, 1472 01:03:10,274 --> 01:03:13,234 it is like a volcano erupting in my mouth. 1473 01:03:13,318 --> 01:03:14,902 Let's hope for the second. (SLURPING) 1474 01:03:16,029 --> 01:03:17,029 (CHUCKLES) 1475 01:03:17,114 --> 01:03:18,990 (MICHELLE MOANING) 1476 01:03:19,866 --> 01:03:22,118 Oh, this is nice. Get in here, guys. 1477 01:03:22,202 --> 01:03:23,578 I don't wanna hog it all. 1478 01:03:24,121 --> 01:03:26,455 Michelle, are you all right? 1479 01:03:26,623 --> 01:03:31,794 When it's this perfect, it takes you to the brink of paralysis. 1480 01:03:31,878 --> 01:03:34,714 And then, at the last minute, it just lets you go. 1481 01:03:35,382 --> 01:03:37,341 Three, two... 1482 01:03:38,051 --> 01:03:39,176 Uh-oh. 1483 01:03:39,386 --> 01:03:40,803 (MICHELLE GROANING) 1484 01:03:42,139 --> 01:03:43,431 Michelle? 1485 01:03:50,856 --> 01:03:53,482 MICHELLE: Whoo. That's a very risky dish. 1486 01:03:53,567 --> 01:03:55,443 Oh, God. How long was I out? 1487 01:03:55,527 --> 01:03:57,111 Are you serious? Like 10 seconds. 1488 01:03:57,571 --> 01:03:58,613 Yeah. 1489 01:03:59,031 --> 01:04:00,489 It's a personal best. 1490 01:04:00,907 --> 01:04:02,241 I was thinking about having more. 1491 01:04:02,326 --> 01:04:04,327 CLAIRE: All right, I think everybody's done with the fugu. 1492 01:04:04,411 --> 01:04:06,495 I'm gonna tea it out, just for a second. Yeah. 1493 01:04:06,580 --> 01:04:07,955 I made you something. 1494 01:04:08,040 --> 01:04:09,081 What? 1495 01:04:09,166 --> 01:04:11,542 I mean, I thought I should give it to you now 1496 01:04:11,627 --> 01:04:15,421 'cause you keep eating things that almost kill you. 1497 01:04:15,672 --> 01:04:16,922 (MICHELLE CHUCKLING) 1498 01:04:17,299 --> 01:04:18,924 I made the frame at school. 1499 01:04:24,431 --> 01:04:27,767 It's a nice frame, Rachel. You did a good job. 1500 01:04:28,101 --> 01:04:29,185 Thanks. 1501 01:04:29,269 --> 01:04:33,147 When I look at the picture, I just think we're like a weird family. 1502 01:04:36,902 --> 01:04:37,943 Okay. Ah. 1503 01:04:38,904 --> 01:04:42,281 Family? That's a little heavy-handed. 1504 01:04:43,325 --> 01:04:46,077 I think, you know, I'm not much into labeling. 1505 01:04:46,662 --> 01:04:48,788 You say "family", and we don't look alike. 1506 01:04:48,872 --> 01:04:52,500 I mean, I'm not even sure that you two look alike. 1507 01:04:52,584 --> 01:04:55,503 We'll have to do a blood test on you for that. 1508 01:04:55,629 --> 01:04:59,882 You know, it's funny, looking at this, I think what day is this? 1509 01:04:59,966 --> 01:05:04,095 'Cause I'm pretty sure I have a... 1510 01:05:04,596 --> 01:05:07,473 I have a previously scheduled thing. 1511 01:05:07,557 --> 01:05:09,475 I don't know what I was... You know. 1512 01:05:09,601 --> 01:05:12,144 Do what you do. I'm gonna do what I do. 1513 01:05:12,270 --> 01:05:13,646 I'll take care of the check. 1514 01:05:15,107 --> 01:05:16,107 I just... 1515 01:05:18,860 --> 01:05:20,111 What was that about? 1516 01:05:21,363 --> 01:05:24,532 (SIGHS) I don't know, sweetie. I don't know. 1517 01:05:31,498 --> 01:05:34,417 Hi! Sorry, baby. Michelle was supposed to pick you up. 1518 01:05:34,501 --> 01:05:38,379 I know. I texted her like 500,000 times. 1519 01:05:47,806 --> 01:05:49,223 All of her stuff is gone. 1520 01:05:55,355 --> 01:05:59,024 "Thank you for letting me stay in your home. Sincerely, MD. 1521 01:05:59,109 --> 01:06:01,485 "P.S. I won't miss your couch. " 1522 01:06:01,570 --> 01:06:02,945 That's impersonal. 1523 01:06:03,655 --> 01:06:04,864 A bit. 1524 01:06:05,532 --> 01:06:07,742 I shouldn't have given her that picture of us. 1525 01:06:07,826 --> 01:06:09,660 Sweetie, she loved your picture. 1526 01:06:09,745 --> 01:06:14,206 No, come on. She left because it was her time to leave. 1527 01:06:14,291 --> 01:06:16,208 Michelle is a redhead and a Scorpio. 1528 01:06:16,293 --> 01:06:18,627 It's a very impulsive combo. 1529 01:06:21,673 --> 01:06:24,550 These little bites of goodness are puttin' kids in college... 1530 01:06:24,634 --> 01:06:25,634 Yes. 1531 01:06:25,719 --> 01:06:28,304 ...are giving young women in this country a business plan 1532 01:06:28,388 --> 01:06:30,806 and the thought in their head of like, "Yes, I can. " 1533 01:06:30,891 --> 01:06:32,016 Is she picking up? 1534 01:06:32,100 --> 01:06:36,604 And if you buy four sets, you get this adorable wagon. (CLEARS THROAT) 1535 01:06:36,688 --> 01:06:38,939 No. It's her voicemail. 1536 01:06:48,033 --> 01:06:50,951 I got 'em! I got 'em! 1537 01:06:59,044 --> 01:07:00,044 (INHALES DEEPLY) 1538 01:07:01,713 --> 01:07:03,088 These are going to be huge. 1539 01:07:09,221 --> 01:07:11,430 How does she do it? I want in. 1540 01:07:11,973 --> 01:07:13,140 More milk. 1541 01:07:13,225 --> 01:07:15,935 No, I'm feeling reckless. I want to do it myself this time. 1542 01:07:19,189 --> 01:07:20,189 Ah. 1543 01:07:20,273 --> 01:07:21,524 Good job. 1544 01:07:23,360 --> 01:07:26,195 CLAIRE: It's just, a little common courtesy would be nice, you know? 1545 01:07:26,279 --> 01:07:27,780 If she ever returned my calls, 1546 01:07:27,864 --> 01:07:30,407 I would know about these press days in the middle of nowhere. 1547 01:07:30,492 --> 01:07:31,575 Mom, look! 1548 01:07:32,577 --> 01:07:34,328 RENAULT: Congratulations, Claire. 1549 01:07:37,916 --> 01:07:39,959 Honey, why don't you, um, go on inside, 1550 01:07:40,085 --> 01:07:42,127 just look both ways before you cross, okay? 1551 01:07:42,212 --> 01:07:43,212 Okay. 1552 01:07:45,799 --> 01:07:47,174 What're you doing here? 1553 01:07:48,969 --> 01:07:51,846 Looks like you and Michelle have built yourself quite a little empire. 1554 01:07:53,640 --> 01:07:54,640 What do you want? 1555 01:07:54,724 --> 01:07:58,143 I want to take what Michelle Darnell has built. 1556 01:07:58,228 --> 01:08:00,813 I want her to realize that I have taken it away. 1557 01:08:00,897 --> 01:08:04,483 And when she realizes it, when that moment of realization crosses her face, 1558 01:08:04,568 --> 01:08:06,527 and she realizes that I have realized it as well... 1559 01:08:06,611 --> 01:08:07,570 I've lost my train of thought. 1560 01:08:07,654 --> 01:08:08,696 Yeah, I'm not following. 1561 01:08:08,780 --> 01:08:10,364 I want the fucking company, Claire. 1562 01:08:11,741 --> 01:08:13,200 (INHALES DEEPLY) It's only a matter of time 1563 01:08:13,285 --> 01:08:15,411 before Michelle Darnell screws you over. 1564 01:08:15,579 --> 01:08:16,579 MICHELLE: So get in there. 1565 01:08:16,663 --> 01:08:18,664 I see you eyein' those brownies. 1566 01:08:18,748 --> 01:08:19,999 Let's have some bites. Go ahead. 1567 01:08:20,083 --> 01:08:21,083 They're not gonna bite you. 1568 01:08:21,167 --> 01:08:22,543 You're gonna bite them. (CHUCKLES) 1569 01:08:22,627 --> 01:08:23,836 Let's get a shot of those. 1570 01:08:39,185 --> 01:08:41,020 Huh, pretty good stuff, right? 1571 01:08:46,860 --> 01:08:49,194 Oh, my God. 1572 01:08:49,279 --> 01:08:50,529 MICHELLE: Oh, amazing! 1573 01:08:50,947 --> 01:08:53,657 This is Chrystal. It's one of the Darnell originals. 1574 01:08:53,742 --> 01:08:55,409 She's a giant. Huh? 1575 01:08:55,493 --> 01:08:57,328 I mean, I'm not a doctor, but I have eyes. 1576 01:08:57,412 --> 01:08:59,246 (CHUCKLES) Isn't that fun? Come on with me. 1577 01:08:59,331 --> 01:09:01,206 I got a surprise for all of you guys... (SIGHS) 1578 01:09:01,333 --> 01:09:03,208 I think you're gonna be very excited about. 1579 01:09:03,293 --> 01:09:06,378 I'd like to present the new Darnell Darlings' mascot! 1580 01:09:06,463 --> 01:09:07,504 Hit it! 1581 01:09:07,547 --> 01:09:11,050 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) Take some snaps of this. I know you want to. 1582 01:09:11,134 --> 01:09:12,426 MICHELLE: It's a phoenix. 1583 01:09:12,510 --> 01:09:13,469 Michelle. 1584 01:09:13,553 --> 01:09:15,346 You get in there. I know you're not shy. 1585 01:09:15,430 --> 01:09:16,472 What is this? 1586 01:09:17,641 --> 01:09:19,808 It's a phoenix, Claire. It's my totem animal. 1587 01:09:19,893 --> 01:09:24,104 Okay. So you leased a commercial kitchen without telling me? 1588 01:09:24,189 --> 01:09:26,815 Yes. I'm kind of waiting for a, "Thank you, Michelle!" 1589 01:09:26,900 --> 01:09:29,151 Wow, um. I'm having a hard time with the "thank you" 1590 01:09:29,235 --> 01:09:32,905 because you also hired all of these people without consulting me. 1591 01:09:32,989 --> 01:09:36,241 I do know that you've been complaining pretty consistently 1592 01:09:36,326 --> 01:09:38,744 about having to do all the baking and doing it at your house. 1593 01:09:38,828 --> 01:09:39,870 I fixed all that for ya. 1594 01:09:39,955 --> 01:09:41,080 And you're more mad than ever. 1595 01:09:41,164 --> 01:09:42,456 I don't get it, Claire. You didn't... 1596 01:09:42,540 --> 01:09:45,084 Michelle, you didn't consult me on any of this, okay? 1597 01:09:45,168 --> 01:09:46,418 I see a bunch of press. 1598 01:09:46,503 --> 01:09:48,963 One of us, not you, got the press here. 1599 01:09:49,047 --> 01:09:50,005 Right. Okay. 1600 01:09:50,090 --> 01:09:51,590 Well, maybe they should know that 1601 01:09:51,716 --> 01:09:53,175 the new and improved Michelle Darnell 1602 01:09:53,259 --> 01:09:56,387 is just as self-centered and egotistical as the old Michelle Darnell. 1603 01:09:56,513 --> 01:09:58,347 Really? Do you wanna do this? Sure! 1604 01:09:58,473 --> 01:09:59,682 'Cause I would love to do this. Great. 1605 01:09:59,766 --> 01:10:00,766 You follow me. 1606 01:10:00,850 --> 01:10:02,434 I will follow you, from the front. 1607 01:10:02,477 --> 01:10:04,603 No, not from the front. From the back! Yes! 1608 01:10:05,105 --> 01:10:06,897 Don't put your arm in front of me! 1609 01:10:06,982 --> 01:10:08,232 You can't tell me what to do! 1610 01:10:08,316 --> 01:10:09,942 You're not my boss anymore! 1611 01:10:10,026 --> 01:10:11,694 We are partners, 50-50, 1612 01:10:11,778 --> 01:10:13,779 and you can't make decisions without telling me! 1613 01:10:13,989 --> 01:10:15,864 We are not partners, Claire! 1614 01:10:15,949 --> 01:10:17,282 I am a successful businesswoman. 1615 01:10:17,367 --> 01:10:20,661 You are a lonely woman who can make a halfway decent brownie! 1616 01:10:20,745 --> 01:10:22,746 And we all have our little secrets, Claire. Right? 1617 01:10:22,831 --> 01:10:25,582 You double-crossing, hand-holding, sneaky little rat! 1618 01:10:25,667 --> 01:10:26,875 What are you talking about? 1619 01:10:26,960 --> 01:10:28,544 God, I can't believe I helped you! 1620 01:10:28,628 --> 01:10:30,838 I took you in off the street, okay? 1621 01:10:30,922 --> 01:10:32,131 When no one else would. 1622 01:10:32,215 --> 01:10:34,008 You are such a cliché. 1623 01:10:34,092 --> 01:10:35,509 Okay? You're getting close to people 1624 01:10:35,593 --> 01:10:37,094 so now you have to push them away. 1625 01:10:37,178 --> 01:10:39,388 Okay, don't analyze me, Dr. Phil! 1626 01:10:39,472 --> 01:10:41,181 Why're you guys doing this? 1627 01:10:41,808 --> 01:10:43,475 Rachel, you know what, just go inside, honey. 1628 01:10:43,560 --> 01:10:46,228 No! No! You do not tell my daughter what to do. 1629 01:10:46,312 --> 01:10:48,188 And you know what? Don't ever speak to her again. 1630 01:10:48,273 --> 01:10:50,065 Mom, why would you say that? 1631 01:10:52,152 --> 01:10:56,989 It's fine, Rachel, just... Girls, go inside! Now! 1632 01:10:59,075 --> 01:11:00,743 You know what? I don't need this. 1633 01:11:00,827 --> 01:11:02,119 I don't need that. 1634 01:11:02,662 --> 01:11:03,662 I don't need any of it. 1635 01:11:03,997 --> 01:11:06,373 Let's see how far your brownie recipe takes you. 1636 01:11:07,250 --> 01:11:09,793 I'm cutting you loose and sailin' off! 1637 01:11:10,086 --> 01:11:12,004 I don't need you two weighing me down! 1638 01:11:13,339 --> 01:11:14,506 Rachel! 1639 01:11:14,632 --> 01:11:15,632 Rachel? 1640 01:11:32,525 --> 01:11:35,277 You're the only one that's gonna take care of you. 1641 01:11:35,695 --> 01:11:36,779 The only one. 1642 01:11:39,032 --> 01:11:40,991 STEPHAN: Excuse me, you can't just go in there! 1643 01:11:41,076 --> 01:11:42,201 Watch me. 1644 01:11:43,036 --> 01:11:44,411 Hi, Ronald! 1645 01:11:44,746 --> 01:11:47,331 Ooh, I like your new bitches. 1646 01:11:47,415 --> 01:11:49,458 I saw you sniffing around my bakery. 1647 01:11:49,542 --> 01:11:51,668 You looking to get into the brownie business? 1648 01:11:51,753 --> 01:11:54,463 Why? Are you looking to sell your business? 1649 01:11:54,547 --> 01:11:55,547 Why not? 1650 01:11:56,007 --> 01:11:59,301 I have no personal stakes in it. It's just business to me. 1651 01:11:59,385 --> 01:12:01,512 And you've always liked collecting my things. 1652 01:12:02,013 --> 01:12:03,222 (INHALES DEEPLY) 1653 01:12:05,850 --> 01:12:06,850 (LOW GRUNT) 1654 01:12:09,813 --> 01:12:12,314 Okay. And since this one's coconut macadamia, 1655 01:12:12,398 --> 01:12:14,274 if you have a nut allergy, I don't want you anywhere near... 1656 01:12:14,359 --> 01:12:15,818 When's Michelle coming back? 1657 01:12:15,902 --> 01:12:17,152 I don't know, Chrystal. 1658 01:12:17,237 --> 01:12:18,487 She's like our leader. 1659 01:12:18,571 --> 01:12:20,322 My mom's gonna run this place. 1660 01:12:20,406 --> 01:12:22,783 Yes, I will be running the business 1661 01:12:23,326 --> 01:12:26,036 until Michelle comes back, or... 1662 01:12:26,121 --> 01:12:28,080 STEPHAN: Knock, knock. Hi, it's Stephan! 1663 01:12:28,706 --> 01:12:33,085 Hi! I have a message from the new owner of Darnell's Darlings, 1664 01:12:33,211 --> 01:12:34,586 Mr. Renault. 1665 01:12:34,879 --> 01:12:36,255 Uh, sorry, I think there's a mistake. 1666 01:12:36,339 --> 01:12:37,881 I'm one of the owners here. 1667 01:12:38,383 --> 01:12:40,509 This is an eviction notice. 1668 01:12:43,638 --> 01:12:44,847 She sold us out? 1669 01:12:45,723 --> 01:12:46,932 How could she do that? 1670 01:12:47,016 --> 01:12:48,433 Oh, she just did it. 1671 01:12:48,518 --> 01:12:50,018 Okay, let's kick this guy's ass! 1672 01:12:50,103 --> 01:12:51,186 Hey, shit brains! 1673 01:12:51,271 --> 01:12:52,354 Chrystal! 1674 01:12:52,438 --> 01:12:53,856 Protect me. Protect me. 1675 01:12:53,940 --> 01:12:56,191 This is not cowardice. She's very tall! 1676 01:12:59,946 --> 01:13:02,114 Really wish you'd let me kick his ass. 1677 01:13:13,751 --> 01:13:17,004 You know what? It was a good business decision. 1678 01:13:18,047 --> 01:13:21,091 Don't start feelin' bad about good... 1679 01:13:22,719 --> 01:13:23,719 (SIGHS) 1680 01:13:23,803 --> 01:13:25,304 Good decisions. 1681 01:13:26,598 --> 01:13:29,057 Why would Michelle do that to us? 1682 01:13:29,642 --> 01:13:31,351 I just don't get it. 1683 01:13:32,353 --> 01:13:33,687 (SOBBING) 1684 01:13:33,980 --> 01:13:35,147 (CLAIRE SIGHS) 1685 01:13:35,440 --> 01:13:40,360 Well, you know, sweetie, Michelle has got a lot of baggage. 1686 01:13:42,572 --> 01:13:44,198 She's an asshole. 1687 01:13:44,991 --> 01:13:46,408 Language. 1688 01:13:46,492 --> 01:13:47,492 Sorry. 1689 01:13:49,078 --> 01:13:52,539 But you're right. She is an asshole. 1690 01:13:56,044 --> 01:13:58,587 Darnell, you are a real asshole. 1691 01:14:11,726 --> 01:14:12,768 (GRUNTS) 1692 01:14:14,103 --> 01:14:15,395 Piece of shit. 1693 01:14:38,127 --> 01:14:39,586 (SNIFFLES) 1694 01:14:43,250 --> 01:14:47,044 After the match I told Kent, "I'd put my family fortune 1695 01:14:47,129 --> 01:14:48,421 "up against anybody's. " 1696 01:14:48,505 --> 01:14:49,797 (BOTH LAUGHING) 1697 01:14:49,882 --> 01:14:51,757 This should really just take a minute. 1698 01:14:51,842 --> 01:14:54,135 Normally, I wouldn't just drop in. 1699 01:14:54,219 --> 01:14:56,554 Oh... Oh, sorry. 1700 01:14:57,055 --> 01:14:59,223 Michelle, what a surprise. 1701 01:14:59,308 --> 01:15:01,434 Family, this is Michelle Darnell. 1702 01:15:02,436 --> 01:15:03,811 She's making me a bunch of money. 1703 01:15:03,896 --> 01:15:05,396 (ALL LAUGHING) 1704 01:15:06,523 --> 01:15:07,523 Why don't you join us? 1705 01:15:07,983 --> 01:15:12,111 No, no, actually, I was just hoping to talk to you for a minute. 1706 01:15:12,279 --> 01:15:14,572 Oh, of course. 1707 01:15:15,115 --> 01:15:16,157 No hurry, Mother. 1708 01:15:17,993 --> 01:15:20,328 Okay, I got it. 1709 01:15:23,790 --> 01:15:27,627 Continue eating that delicious spring lamb you heard screaming this morning. 1710 01:15:29,588 --> 01:15:30,546 (SIGHS) 1711 01:15:30,631 --> 01:15:32,924 I sold the company to Renault last night. 1712 01:15:33,175 --> 01:15:36,469 Or Ronald or whatever name he's going by now. 1713 01:15:36,553 --> 01:15:39,138 Whoa, sweet baby Jesus. Yeah. 1714 01:15:39,222 --> 01:15:40,890 You know, we went to get sushi once 1715 01:15:40,974 --> 01:15:43,100 and he tried to speak Japanese to the waitress. 1716 01:15:43,185 --> 01:15:45,811 I swear, some of the words were Spanish. 1717 01:15:46,188 --> 01:15:47,688 But, you know, he's gonna sell it off. 1718 01:15:48,607 --> 01:15:50,566 Whew, I'm gonna make a mint. 1719 01:15:51,485 --> 01:15:53,152 Yeah, you probably will. 1720 01:15:53,862 --> 01:15:55,988 And I did it just like you taught me. 1721 01:15:56,281 --> 01:15:59,158 I took nothing, made it into something 1722 01:15:59,242 --> 01:16:01,702 and didn't let anybody weigh me down, 1723 01:16:01,787 --> 01:16:03,788 and got out of there when the money was right. 1724 01:16:03,872 --> 01:16:06,123 Perfect, kill or be killed. 1725 01:16:06,458 --> 01:16:07,875 Take that money and run. 1726 01:16:09,252 --> 01:16:11,045 You know, I kinda... 1727 01:16:11,922 --> 01:16:13,714 I think I kinda lost my friend 1728 01:16:14,591 --> 01:16:16,467 and hurt a bunch of kids in the process. 1729 01:16:16,551 --> 01:16:19,220 Who the fuck cares? We're gonna make a shit load. 1730 01:16:19,304 --> 01:16:21,305 We're gonna make a million shit loads. 1731 01:16:21,807 --> 01:16:23,140 (LAUGHING IN DISTANCE) 1732 01:16:25,143 --> 01:16:27,812 I dunno what I'm doing. I'm keeping you from dinner with your family. 1733 01:16:27,896 --> 01:16:29,814 Come on, that's not my family. 1734 01:16:29,982 --> 01:16:34,735 Those are actors. I hire actors every once in a while to play my family. 1735 01:16:34,820 --> 01:16:36,278 My family is bonkers. 1736 01:16:36,530 --> 01:16:37,905 All I want is money. 1737 01:16:37,990 --> 01:16:40,157 Money, money, money. Ida "Money" Marquette. 1738 01:16:40,534 --> 01:16:43,285 Grandpa Joe... Joe. 1739 01:16:43,787 --> 01:16:44,787 Psst, Joe! 1740 01:16:45,122 --> 01:16:46,247 You have a fake family. 1741 01:16:47,249 --> 01:16:49,834 I've been taking advice from you for 20 years. 1742 01:16:49,960 --> 01:16:54,380 And you hire and spend the night with a fake family. 1743 01:16:54,673 --> 01:16:56,507 I try to get better actors, but I just... 1744 01:16:56,591 --> 01:16:59,468 Bennett is unresponsive. The actor who plays Grandpa Joe. 1745 01:16:59,720 --> 01:17:01,387 He's always playing possum. 1746 01:17:01,471 --> 01:17:03,556 This man needs medical attention, stat! 1747 01:17:04,141 --> 01:17:06,350 Is that a line from one of your soaps? 1748 01:17:08,603 --> 01:17:09,603 Yes. 1749 01:17:11,273 --> 01:17:14,150 Joe? Oh, crap. 1750 01:17:14,317 --> 01:17:15,317 (YELLS) Joe! 1751 01:17:15,777 --> 01:17:17,194 He's not getting paid for this. 1752 01:17:17,571 --> 01:17:18,779 Holy shit. 1753 01:17:19,114 --> 01:17:20,114 Joe! 1754 01:17:26,578 --> 01:17:27,578 CLAIRE: I know what I'm gonna do. 1755 01:17:27,829 --> 01:17:29,705 I'm gonna sue the pants off her. Oh... 1756 01:17:29,790 --> 01:17:32,500 No, I'm not because she'll throw too many lawyers at me 1757 01:17:32,584 --> 01:17:34,668 and she's a shark in court. 1758 01:17:34,753 --> 01:17:37,004 Yeah. This is a test. 1759 01:17:37,339 --> 01:17:39,298 You want me to kill her with this bagel knife. 1760 01:17:39,382 --> 01:17:40,674 And I'll do it. (CHUCKLES) 1761 01:17:40,759 --> 01:17:43,219 To pledge my allegiance to you, milady, I'll do it. 1762 01:17:43,303 --> 01:17:44,804 No. Thank you. 1763 01:17:46,056 --> 01:17:47,431 Ooh, you guys are kissing. 1764 01:17:47,891 --> 01:17:50,226 Heya, Rachel! Hi. How are you? Hi. 1765 01:17:50,310 --> 01:17:52,311 Did you sleep over? CLAIRE: Oh, God, no. 1766 01:17:52,437 --> 01:17:53,896 What, have a sleepover here? Ew. 1767 01:17:53,939 --> 01:17:56,107 No, he didn't. (BLOWS RASPBERRY) Yuck! No, that would be terrible. 1768 01:17:56,191 --> 01:17:57,233 I don't know about "yuck". 1769 01:17:57,359 --> 01:17:58,359 I don't mean "yuck. " I meant... 1770 01:17:58,485 --> 01:18:00,236 CLAIRE: Don't know if it'll... MIKE: I mean... 1771 01:18:00,320 --> 01:18:02,154 It could be nice. Might be nice. 1772 01:18:02,280 --> 01:18:04,323 It's nice for people to spend the night. We don't know yet. 1773 01:18:04,407 --> 01:18:06,283 We don't know yet. We don't know yet. 1774 01:18:06,785 --> 01:18:09,120 Would you please grab some more garbage bags? 1775 01:18:09,204 --> 01:18:10,704 We have a lot of trash. 1776 01:18:10,789 --> 01:18:11,914 Yeah. 1777 01:18:12,124 --> 01:18:13,707 Why did I make that so weird? 1778 01:18:13,792 --> 01:18:14,917 It's fine. Didn't have to. 1779 01:18:15,001 --> 01:18:16,460 Didn't have to make it that weird. (GASPS) 1780 01:18:17,212 --> 01:18:19,505 Holy shit! CLAIRE: Language! 1781 01:18:21,049 --> 01:18:22,466 Holy shit! 1782 01:18:22,634 --> 01:18:23,843 Uh... 1783 01:18:24,469 --> 01:18:27,388 This is all seeming probably so much 1784 01:18:27,514 --> 01:18:30,391 stranger than what I had intended. 1785 01:18:30,475 --> 01:18:33,310 I'm sorry to startle you, Rachel. 1786 01:18:33,395 --> 01:18:35,479 What are you doing in my closet? 1787 01:18:35,564 --> 01:18:38,107 Well, uh, to give you the whole... 1788 01:18:38,191 --> 01:18:40,901 I thought I have a great idea 1789 01:18:40,986 --> 01:18:44,071 to surprise you with an apology, 1790 01:18:44,156 --> 01:18:46,574 and my sincere "I'm sorry. " 1791 01:18:46,658 --> 01:18:50,035 So I let myself in, in the middle of the night. 1792 01:18:50,120 --> 01:18:52,454 So once I was actually waiting here in the dark, 1793 01:18:52,539 --> 01:18:55,124 and you were getting up for the morning, I thought, "Uh-oh. 1794 01:18:55,208 --> 01:18:57,835 "This could seem kind of threatening and menacing. " 1795 01:18:57,919 --> 01:18:59,628 And I panicked a little bit 1796 01:18:59,713 --> 01:19:02,673 and just darted into the closet. 1797 01:19:03,258 --> 01:19:07,344 So, surprise! I'm sorry. 1798 01:19:07,429 --> 01:19:10,890 And, dang it, I shouldn't have sold that company. 1799 01:19:12,058 --> 01:19:13,934 I think we're done. Okay, well... 1800 01:19:14,019 --> 01:19:17,438 You know... So thank you, I guess, for breaking into my home. 1801 01:19:17,522 --> 01:19:18,939 I said I was sorry. 1802 01:19:19,024 --> 01:19:21,066 Great. We heard you. Okay. 1803 01:19:21,151 --> 01:19:22,985 I apologized. I heard you. 1804 01:19:23,361 --> 01:19:24,695 There's the door. 1805 01:19:29,201 --> 01:19:30,534 You sold us out. 1806 01:19:31,536 --> 01:19:32,661 Yeah, I did. 1807 01:19:33,038 --> 01:19:37,249 I sold you out. And I'm sorry. I'm very sorry. 1808 01:19:37,334 --> 01:19:41,962 And I'm hoping, somehow, you can forgive me. 1809 01:19:42,047 --> 01:19:43,714 And I just wanna throw it out there 1810 01:19:43,798 --> 01:19:47,134 that I have completely forgiven you, Claire, 1811 01:19:47,219 --> 01:19:50,971 for trying to sell me out first with Renault so... 1812 01:19:51,723 --> 01:19:53,682 What are you talking about? 1813 01:19:53,767 --> 01:19:54,808 I saw you. 1814 01:19:55,310 --> 01:19:59,146 Okay? I saw you and Ronald outside the bakery. 1815 01:19:59,231 --> 01:20:00,564 He was smelling your hand 1816 01:20:00,607 --> 01:20:03,025 and I know what that means, okay? (SCOFFS) 1817 01:20:03,151 --> 01:20:06,195 I mean, he has smelled many of my parts, 1818 01:20:07,072 --> 01:20:10,532 and I have smelled many of his parts. 1819 01:20:10,909 --> 01:20:13,744 I was telling Renault that I'm not willing 1820 01:20:13,912 --> 01:20:16,705 to sell him a single, solitary brownie, 1821 01:20:16,790 --> 01:20:18,749 let alone my entire company. 1822 01:20:19,417 --> 01:20:20,751 (STAMMERING) 1823 01:20:20,877 --> 01:20:22,836 That's a mix-up, huh? 1824 01:20:23,129 --> 01:20:27,716 Michelle, I would never in a million years do that to you, okay? 1825 01:20:27,801 --> 01:20:30,886 You know... I mean, God. What goes on in your brain? 1826 01:20:30,971 --> 01:20:32,096 I don't know. 1827 01:20:32,430 --> 01:20:35,808 I mean, I don't have a lot of, 1828 01:20:37,435 --> 01:20:41,814 you know, experience or a reference point for... 1829 01:20:41,898 --> 01:20:45,025 I didn't have a family, or a mom, or a dad. 1830 01:20:45,110 --> 01:20:49,321 And I totally get it if you never talk to me again. 1831 01:20:49,739 --> 01:20:52,449 So I don't want you to feel bad about that. 1832 01:20:52,534 --> 01:20:55,619 I just wanted you to know that I think you're very nice people. 1833 01:20:56,121 --> 01:20:58,289 Great people, actually. 1834 01:20:58,373 --> 01:21:02,376 You're the closest thing to a family I've ever had. 1835 01:21:02,460 --> 01:21:07,256 And I'm real sorry I screwed that up. 1836 01:21:09,801 --> 01:21:11,593 I'm gonna miss you, Michelle. 1837 01:21:13,847 --> 01:21:14,847 MIKE: Should I go? 1838 01:21:16,141 --> 01:21:18,392 I think I should go. 1839 01:21:18,476 --> 01:21:19,727 Oh, my God. It's an awkward time for me 1840 01:21:19,811 --> 01:21:21,478 to just be, like, creeping around in the background. 1841 01:21:21,563 --> 01:21:23,439 I had no idea you were still here. 1842 01:21:23,565 --> 01:21:25,190 Should I go, or should I... No, you're fine. 1843 01:21:25,275 --> 01:21:26,692 I do not like what you did. 1844 01:21:27,402 --> 01:21:31,238 I do not like it! And I do not like it. 1845 01:21:31,865 --> 01:21:34,033 She really doesn't like it, guys. 1846 01:21:35,910 --> 01:21:36,910 You know, I... 1847 01:21:37,620 --> 01:21:42,166 If anyone's curious, I do think I know how to fix this. 1848 01:21:43,084 --> 01:21:45,919 I signed that contract with Renault late Friday night. 1849 01:21:46,004 --> 01:21:49,006 I wanna remind you I was wounded, I was a little tipsy. 1850 01:21:49,090 --> 01:21:50,674 CLAIRE: Oh, God. Okay. 1851 01:21:51,134 --> 01:21:54,386 And it's Sunday. No one will be in his offices. 1852 01:21:54,471 --> 01:21:56,847 Plus, he can't file for a corporate change of ownership 1853 01:21:56,931 --> 01:21:58,807 until tomorrow morning. 1854 01:21:59,059 --> 01:22:00,267 I can get in there tonight, 1855 01:22:00,352 --> 01:22:03,437 I can get that contract, and I can take our company back. 1856 01:22:03,688 --> 01:22:05,147 Wait, what do you mean "get the contract"? 1857 01:22:05,231 --> 01:22:07,566 He must have scanned and emailed it a hundred times by now. 1858 01:22:07,650 --> 01:22:10,277 No, no, no. Anybody else, yes, but not him. 1859 01:22:10,362 --> 01:22:13,572 Ronald is completely paranoid about being hacked. Okay? 1860 01:22:13,656 --> 01:22:18,160 He has no cell phones, no emails. He leaves no digital trail. 1861 01:22:18,244 --> 01:22:20,537 Claire knows this. He's all old-school pen and paper. 1862 01:22:20,622 --> 01:22:21,997 It's the samurai way. 1863 01:22:22,499 --> 01:22:25,292 Okay, I'm in. Let's do this. I'm in. 1864 01:22:25,377 --> 01:22:26,627 CLAIRE: Why would you be in? 1865 01:22:26,711 --> 01:22:28,128 MIKE: What do you mean why would I be in? 1866 01:22:28,213 --> 01:22:29,213 You've been talking all morning about 1867 01:22:29,297 --> 01:22:31,048 how you wanted to get your company back. 1868 01:22:31,132 --> 01:22:33,884 And you guys are gonna need help, and I'm a helpful guy. 1869 01:22:33,968 --> 01:22:35,302 How's that for a reason? 1870 01:22:35,845 --> 01:22:37,179 You're gonna get rewarded for that. 1871 01:22:37,263 --> 01:22:39,390 MIKE: Well, that's not why I did it. 1872 01:22:39,849 --> 01:22:41,892 I'm in, too. MICHELLE: No, Claire. 1873 01:22:41,976 --> 01:22:44,061 This is my fault and I'm gonna fix it. 1874 01:22:44,145 --> 01:22:45,979 Michelle, this is my decision. 1875 01:22:46,064 --> 01:22:47,481 And I want our company back. 1876 01:22:47,565 --> 01:22:49,066 Yes, Claire. 1877 01:22:49,150 --> 01:22:51,026 All right, let's fuck this shit up. 1878 01:22:51,111 --> 01:22:53,237 Language. Sorry. I'm sorry. 1879 01:22:54,030 --> 01:22:55,531 I need to get a sitter. 1880 01:22:56,199 --> 01:22:57,449 Yeah, you do. 1881 01:22:59,536 --> 01:23:01,995 MICHELLE: As soon as we get out I want you to grab the gasoline, 1882 01:23:02,080 --> 01:23:03,455 some rags, and torch the van. 1883 01:23:03,540 --> 01:23:04,623 MIKE: What are you talking about? 1884 01:23:04,707 --> 01:23:06,125 I rented the van. It's on my credit card. 1885 01:23:06,209 --> 01:23:07,459 You go down, you go down alone. 1886 01:23:07,544 --> 01:23:09,169 How would we even get home? 1887 01:23:09,254 --> 01:23:11,046 That's a good point. MVP, Claire. 1888 01:23:11,131 --> 01:23:14,591 Uh-oh. There's no door handle back here. There's absolutely... Oh. 1889 01:23:14,968 --> 01:23:16,635 Thank you, Claire. (CLEARS THROAT) 1890 01:23:17,178 --> 01:23:19,346 Okay. I still don't think you should be here. 1891 01:23:19,431 --> 01:23:20,431 But if we get caught, 1892 01:23:20,557 --> 01:23:22,808 I want you to tell the police that I forced you here by gun. 1893 01:23:22,892 --> 01:23:24,017 You gotta watch out for Rachel. 1894 01:23:24,102 --> 01:23:25,978 Okay. You don't have a gun, though, right? 1895 01:23:26,062 --> 01:23:27,896 What am I, a thug? Okay. 1896 01:23:27,981 --> 01:23:30,566 MIKE: I'm such a badass! This is gonna be amazing! 1897 01:23:30,650 --> 01:23:32,943 Also, by the way, guys, I was googling jail sentences. 1898 01:23:33,027 --> 01:23:35,237 Since none of us are actually armed, minimal jail time. 1899 01:23:37,740 --> 01:23:39,867 Oops. Just excuse me for one minute. 1900 01:23:39,951 --> 01:23:42,244 (GASPS) Michelle! Well, it's a collector's item. 1901 01:23:42,954 --> 01:23:43,954 Ditch it. 1902 01:23:45,331 --> 01:23:46,832 Chuckin' a gun in a garbage can. That's smart. 1903 01:23:46,916 --> 01:23:47,875 What? Oh, my God. 1904 01:23:47,959 --> 01:23:50,169 Okay! I know it was wrong. I self-corrected. 1905 01:23:50,253 --> 01:23:52,129 No, you didn't. I just asked you to throw... 1906 01:23:52,213 --> 01:23:54,506 Well, you made me throw it away. Okay. 1907 01:23:55,467 --> 01:23:57,384 Okay, there it is. Renault Enterprises. 1908 01:23:58,636 --> 01:24:00,471 The contract is probably in his private office, 1909 01:24:00,597 --> 01:24:02,431 which is at the top of the building. 1910 01:24:02,515 --> 01:24:03,307 I'm guessing there's a safe, could be in the wall. 1911 01:24:04,759 --> 01:24:07,010 Could be behind one of those creepy paintings. 1912 01:24:07,095 --> 01:24:08,679 We got two guards on tonight. 1913 01:24:08,763 --> 01:24:10,639 We got one at the main desk and one by the elevators. 1914 01:24:10,723 --> 01:24:11,265 Mike, I need you to distract the guard 1915 01:24:12,433 --> 01:24:15,269 while Claire lumbers in, and I follow behind like a cougar. 1916 01:24:15,937 --> 01:24:17,437 Okay, next, we head upstairs. 1917 01:24:17,522 --> 01:24:19,022 Claire, I'm gonna give you a head start 1918 01:24:19,107 --> 01:24:21,358 'cause I'm gonna take those motherfuckers 10 at a time. 1919 01:24:21,442 --> 01:24:24,027 You stand there with your mouth hangin' open, and pointin', 1920 01:24:24,112 --> 01:24:25,904 and I'll slide into home base. 1921 01:24:26,948 --> 01:24:28,991 Mike, I need you to distract the guard 1922 01:24:29,075 --> 01:24:31,034 by coming from the east, turning him around, 1923 01:24:31,119 --> 01:24:33,203 so when we approach, while you're sucking his dick, 1924 01:24:33,288 --> 01:24:34,705 we can get right past him. 1925 01:24:34,789 --> 01:24:36,165 So under no circumstances... 1926 01:24:36,249 --> 01:24:37,875 I'm sucking his what? 1927 01:24:38,084 --> 01:24:39,209 You're sucking his dick. 1928 01:24:39,294 --> 01:24:40,961 I'm sucking his dick? Oh. 1929 01:24:41,087 --> 01:24:42,296 MICHELLE: Well, I'm not gonna suck his dick. 1930 01:24:42,589 --> 01:24:45,174 I'm the brains behind it. The brains never sucks the dick. 1931 01:24:45,258 --> 01:24:47,259 Why am I sucking his dick? I don't wanna suck his dick! 1932 01:24:47,343 --> 01:24:49,386 Claire doesn't wanna suck his dick! 1933 01:24:49,470 --> 01:24:51,638 How 'bout none of us suck that man's penis? 1934 01:24:51,723 --> 01:24:53,223 Yeah, what if nobody sucks his dick? 1935 01:24:53,308 --> 01:24:54,474 No dick suckin'. 1936 01:24:55,351 --> 01:24:57,477 Well, I worked on that plan a long time. 1937 01:24:57,562 --> 01:24:59,563 Fine. Fine, let's go to plan B. 1938 01:24:59,647 --> 01:25:01,023 MIKE: Yeah, that sounds good. 1939 01:25:01,107 --> 01:25:03,901 If you're gonna be a baby and not suck dick, that's fine with me. 1940 01:25:14,662 --> 01:25:15,704 (GROANING) 1941 01:25:17,582 --> 01:25:19,333 KENNY: Hey, there. Hey! How you doing? 1942 01:25:19,417 --> 01:25:23,253 Is this 9800 Michigan? I'm late for a birthday party. 1943 01:25:23,338 --> 01:25:24,922 No, this is 9900. 1944 01:25:25,006 --> 01:25:26,632 This is 9900? Yeah. 1945 01:25:26,674 --> 01:25:27,841 Well, wouldn't you know it? Yeah. 1946 01:25:27,926 --> 01:25:29,092 Why are you dressed like that? 1947 01:25:29,177 --> 01:25:30,302 What are you dressed as? 1948 01:25:30,386 --> 01:25:31,428 I'm glad you asked me. 1949 01:25:31,512 --> 01:25:34,431 I am actually a demon. I'm a phoenix. 1950 01:25:34,599 --> 01:25:35,766 (SNICKERING) 1951 01:25:36,267 --> 01:25:37,559 Pretty cool, right? 1952 01:25:38,019 --> 01:25:39,186 Are you into demons? 1953 01:25:39,854 --> 01:25:41,939 Yeah. I know a fair amount. 1954 01:25:42,023 --> 01:25:43,106 KENNY: That is very cool. 1955 01:25:43,191 --> 01:25:44,691 MIKE: You can touch the feathers if you want. 1956 01:25:44,776 --> 01:25:47,110 Yeah, a lot of people don't know that. It was a demon. 1957 01:25:47,195 --> 01:25:50,405 It's actually pronounced Quetzalcóatl. 1958 01:25:50,490 --> 01:25:51,782 (WHISPERING) He's talking too much. 1959 01:25:51,866 --> 01:25:54,368 He'd be a lot quieter with a penis in his mouth. 1960 01:25:54,869 --> 01:25:56,036 I'm into demons. You are? 1961 01:25:56,120 --> 01:25:57,246 Yeah. I think you said that. 1962 01:25:57,330 --> 01:25:59,039 I really am. I do a lot of fantasy role-play. 1963 01:25:59,123 --> 01:26:00,540 That's so weird. 1964 01:26:00,625 --> 01:26:02,417 Yeah, gets a little boring in here sometimes. 1965 01:26:02,502 --> 01:26:04,127 I bet. I whistle. 1966 01:26:04,212 --> 01:26:05,837 You whistle? I whistle a lot in here. 1967 01:26:05,922 --> 01:26:07,047 Let's hear some. Yeah. 1968 01:26:07,131 --> 01:26:08,715 (WHISTLING) 1969 01:26:12,470 --> 01:26:14,221 Why is that one whistling? 1970 01:26:16,266 --> 01:26:17,641 Just kind of holding that one note. 1971 01:26:17,725 --> 01:26:18,976 Yeah, I like to do that. I like to play with 1972 01:26:19,060 --> 01:26:20,852 bars and structures, things like that. 1973 01:26:20,937 --> 01:26:22,771 MIKE: You got a real hefty lung capacity there. 1974 01:26:22,855 --> 01:26:24,356 I never got your name. 1975 01:26:24,399 --> 01:26:27,776 Yeah, it's... It's Jim. Jimberly. Jim? 1976 01:26:28,103 --> 01:26:29,896 Jimberly? Jimberly Stevenson. 1977 01:26:30,356 --> 01:26:31,773 (MIKE YELLING) 1978 01:26:31,857 --> 01:26:33,191 What's going on? 1979 01:26:33,275 --> 01:26:35,818 It's a cramp! God, I got a cramp! 1980 01:26:35,944 --> 01:26:38,821 Kenny! All right. I can help you. I can help you. 1981 01:26:38,947 --> 01:26:41,240 It's in the quad! No, it's in the quad. Right here? Right here? 1982 01:26:41,325 --> 01:26:42,784 That's the top. That's the top. 1983 01:26:42,868 --> 01:26:43,910 KENNY: Okay? Right there? 1984 01:26:43,994 --> 01:26:46,537 MIKE: That's a little too close to the groin, Kenny. That's a no-fly zone. 1985 01:26:47,539 --> 01:26:48,581 (CLEARS THROAT) 1986 01:26:51,752 --> 01:26:53,711 Thank God you're here. 1987 01:26:53,796 --> 01:26:56,089 I'm always here. This is my shift. 1988 01:26:56,757 --> 01:26:58,591 (LAUGHING) 1989 01:27:00,469 --> 01:27:01,928 Yeah. 1990 01:27:02,012 --> 01:27:04,514 Sorry. You are so funny. That really got me. 1991 01:27:04,640 --> 01:27:06,808 I'm Pete. I'm security. 1992 01:27:06,892 --> 01:27:09,852 Hi, Pete. I 1993 01:27:09,937 --> 01:27:11,562 am a specialty dancer. 1994 01:27:11,647 --> 01:27:12,730 Whoa. 1995 01:27:13,107 --> 01:27:15,566 "Whoa" is right. Nice blouse. 1996 01:27:15,776 --> 01:27:17,860 CLAIRE: It's Talbots. 1997 01:27:17,945 --> 01:27:21,197 One of my more expensive clients asked 1998 01:27:21,281 --> 01:27:24,283 that I pay him a visit here, in the building, tonight. 1999 01:27:24,702 --> 01:27:26,661 No one goes up without a pass. 2000 01:27:27,287 --> 01:27:28,287 Right. 2001 01:27:28,372 --> 01:27:30,957 All I need you to do is swipe that little card, okay? 2002 01:27:31,041 --> 01:27:32,917 And then, mama can get to work. 2003 01:27:33,961 --> 01:27:36,504 Sometimes, before the dance, I have to limber up. 2004 01:27:36,588 --> 01:27:38,339 I do some sexy stretches. Like... 2005 01:27:46,306 --> 01:27:47,890 All right? How's that? Jelly. Back to square one. 2006 01:27:47,975 --> 01:27:49,434 We're good? Yup! Yup, yup. 2007 01:27:49,518 --> 01:27:51,060 I don't wanna overdo it. Phew. 2008 01:27:51,979 --> 01:27:53,521 Okay. Well, hey. 2009 01:27:53,647 --> 01:27:55,231 Kenny, you're one of the good ones, man. Yeah. 2010 01:27:55,315 --> 01:27:56,899 Yeah, not a lot of guys would do that for another guy. 2011 01:27:56,984 --> 01:27:58,693 I'll do it for you. Thanks, man. 2012 01:27:58,819 --> 01:28:00,570 But we'll hang. We'll do it. Yeah, we'll totally hang. 2013 01:28:00,654 --> 01:28:02,113 No big deal, buddy. All right, have a good one. 2014 01:28:02,197 --> 01:28:03,448 Bye, Jimberly. 2015 01:28:03,824 --> 01:28:05,575 You buzz me up, 2016 01:28:05,659 --> 01:28:07,618 and I'll give you a free dance on the way down. 2017 01:28:07,703 --> 01:28:08,786 How about that? 2018 01:28:09,329 --> 01:28:10,538 I'll let you up. 2019 01:28:11,331 --> 01:28:13,624 I like Gordon Lightfoot. 2020 01:28:13,792 --> 01:28:15,042 Who doesn't? 2021 01:28:16,879 --> 01:28:21,466 The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down 2022 01:28:21,550 --> 01:28:25,094 To the big lake they call Gitche Gumee 2023 01:28:25,512 --> 01:28:30,933 The lake... Said and... (MUMBLING) 2024 01:28:31,018 --> 01:28:33,352 Oh, my God. Pete! Pete! Pete! Pete! 2025 01:28:33,812 --> 01:28:35,146 Did you just... 2026 01:28:35,230 --> 01:28:36,272 Yes. 2027 01:28:36,356 --> 01:28:37,440 Did you? 2028 01:28:38,275 --> 01:28:39,358 No. 2029 01:28:39,526 --> 01:28:41,027 God damn it, Pete. 2030 01:28:41,361 --> 01:28:42,862 I gotta sit down. Yeah. 2031 01:28:42,946 --> 01:28:44,030 Okay. I gotta sit down. 2032 01:28:45,574 --> 01:28:47,617 I'm embarrassed. Just... 2033 01:28:49,077 --> 01:28:50,161 He seems nice. 2034 01:28:56,168 --> 01:28:57,210 Jesus. 2035 01:28:57,377 --> 01:29:01,839 Jimberly. "J", "J". 2036 01:29:02,299 --> 01:29:04,675 Maybe it's "J-Y-M." 2037 01:29:04,760 --> 01:29:06,719 What the fuck? There's no Jimberlys. 2038 01:29:13,352 --> 01:29:14,393 (SNORING) 2039 01:29:21,068 --> 01:29:22,860 Well, then where is his office? 2040 01:29:22,945 --> 01:29:26,072 I don't know. The last time I was here, I was tipsy. 2041 01:29:26,240 --> 01:29:27,740 (ELEVATOR DINGING) 2042 01:29:29,368 --> 01:29:31,911 Oh, my God. You guys, we're total burglars. Look at us! 2043 01:29:31,995 --> 01:29:33,454 How did you get past the guards? 2044 01:29:33,539 --> 01:29:35,832 That was a piece of cake. He was, like, totally passed out. 2045 01:29:35,916 --> 01:29:37,291 I don't know what was going on there. 2046 01:29:37,376 --> 01:29:38,417 Me neither. 2047 01:29:38,585 --> 01:29:40,294 (LAUGHING) 2048 01:29:43,924 --> 01:29:45,925 I feel like this is going great. 2049 01:29:46,009 --> 01:29:49,470 Michelle, you brought trash bags, baby wipes, shower gel. 2050 01:29:49,555 --> 01:29:51,889 Do you actually think we're gonna need rope? 2051 01:29:53,767 --> 01:29:57,186 Come on! Every story about a burglar always involves rope. 2052 01:29:57,271 --> 01:29:58,563 That's true. It's in all the movies. 2053 01:29:58,647 --> 01:30:00,857 I am a mogul, not a cat burglar. 2054 01:30:00,941 --> 01:30:03,025 I'm also the only one that thought to bring provisions. 2055 01:30:03,819 --> 01:30:05,486 MIKE: Michelle, stop! I forgot, I'm sorry. 2056 01:30:06,238 --> 01:30:07,488 I stole the guard's keycard. What? 2057 01:30:07,573 --> 01:30:08,739 You stole his key? 2058 01:30:08,989 --> 01:30:09,989 Yeah. Okay. 2059 01:30:13,368 --> 01:30:14,910 MIKE: Somebody loves Mortal Kombat. 2060 01:30:14,995 --> 01:30:16,495 CLAIRE: Let's just find the contract and get outta here. 2061 01:30:16,621 --> 01:30:18,038 Okay. I bet you he put it in his panic room. 2062 01:30:18,123 --> 01:30:19,623 That's what I'd do if I had a panic room. 2063 01:30:19,708 --> 01:30:21,667 It's probably voice-activated, high-tech stuff in here. 2064 01:30:21,751 --> 01:30:22,793 Open desk. 2065 01:30:22,878 --> 01:30:24,503 Yeah. Open desk! CLAIRE: Open... 2066 01:30:24,588 --> 01:30:26,088 No, it was just manual. 2067 01:30:27,883 --> 01:30:29,884 I got it! In his desk drawer, 2068 01:30:29,968 --> 01:30:31,802 in a file marked "Darnell. " 2069 01:30:31,887 --> 01:30:34,138 Probably overthought that one. It's classic Mike. 2070 01:30:34,222 --> 01:30:36,223 MIKE: I do that a lot. Let's go! 2071 01:30:36,308 --> 01:30:38,434 RENAULT: Son of a bitch, Stephan! You left the door open! 2072 01:30:40,061 --> 01:30:41,061 Oh. 2073 01:30:41,771 --> 01:30:42,980 Well, who do we have here? 2074 01:30:43,940 --> 01:30:47,776 Michelle Darnell, the baker and Quetzalcóatl. 2075 01:30:47,861 --> 01:30:50,029 That is impressive. I mean, you gotta give him that. 2076 01:30:50,113 --> 01:30:51,739 I'm not even wearing the mask. 2077 01:30:52,407 --> 01:30:55,409 That wouldn't be our contract you're holding, would it, Michelle? 2078 01:30:55,869 --> 01:30:58,495 You wouldn't be foolish enough to back out of our plan, would you? 2079 01:30:58,580 --> 01:31:01,248 You know what? It was never her company to sell. 2080 01:31:01,333 --> 01:31:04,293 I own 50% of it, so... RENAULT: Yeah. 2081 01:31:04,419 --> 01:31:07,046 I may have fudged the initial paperwork. You what? 2082 01:31:07,130 --> 01:31:08,505 But I am sorry. So, I'm not... 2083 01:31:08,590 --> 01:31:09,548 And I will rectify... Michelle! 2084 01:31:09,633 --> 01:31:11,508 You will be. You will be. I'm sorry. 2085 01:31:11,593 --> 01:31:15,012 I wonder, how should I approach this? 2086 01:31:19,976 --> 01:31:22,853 Call the proper authorities and turn you in? 2087 01:31:22,938 --> 01:31:25,272 Or we could just talk it out amongst ourselves. 2088 01:31:26,107 --> 01:31:28,150 Do you know what the fascinating thing is 2089 01:31:28,276 --> 01:31:30,319 about the Japanese martial arts? 2090 01:31:31,446 --> 01:31:32,863 The discipline. 2091 01:31:33,031 --> 01:31:34,365 (INHALES DEEPLY) Ya! 2092 01:31:35,408 --> 01:31:36,742 The integrity. 2093 01:31:40,330 --> 01:31:41,789 The loyalty. 2094 01:31:44,042 --> 01:31:45,417 Okay, okay, stop! 2095 01:31:45,502 --> 01:31:46,710 I'll do it. 2096 01:31:47,796 --> 01:31:49,421 I'll suck your dick. What? 2097 01:31:49,506 --> 01:31:50,798 MIKE: I don't wanna do it, 2098 01:31:50,882 --> 01:31:53,217 but if you promise not to hurt anybody in this room, 2099 01:31:53,301 --> 01:31:54,510 I'll suck your dick. 2100 01:31:54,594 --> 01:31:55,636 Mike, no. Whoa, whoa, whoa. 2101 01:31:56,388 --> 01:31:57,721 Oh, my God. Mike, no. What? 2102 01:31:57,806 --> 01:31:59,431 You don't want me to suck his dick? No. 2103 01:31:59,516 --> 01:32:01,600 Wrong dick, wrong time, Mike. 2104 01:32:01,685 --> 01:32:02,685 Wrong dick. Wrong dick. 2105 01:32:02,769 --> 01:32:04,144 It was supposed to be the security guy's dick. 2106 01:32:04,229 --> 01:32:05,562 I was trying to be a team player. 2107 01:32:05,647 --> 01:32:07,815 Real eager, Claire. It's a red flag. 2108 01:32:07,899 --> 01:32:08,983 I don't like sucking dicks. 2109 01:32:09,067 --> 01:32:10,234 It's not my business. 2110 01:32:10,318 --> 01:32:11,652 RENAULT: Nobody's sucking my dick. 2111 01:32:11,736 --> 01:32:12,861 CLAIRE: Fair enough. 2112 01:32:12,946 --> 01:32:15,739 Well, that's the first time I've heard you say that, but... 2113 01:32:15,824 --> 01:32:16,824 I'm going to plan B, 2114 01:32:16,908 --> 01:32:18,492 my tongue has always been my sword. 2115 01:32:18,576 --> 01:32:19,576 MIKE: Okay. 2116 01:32:21,162 --> 01:32:23,163 Put the knife away, Ronald. 2117 01:32:23,456 --> 01:32:26,125 It's not a knife. It's a katana. 2118 01:32:26,209 --> 01:32:27,334 Katana. 2119 01:32:27,544 --> 01:32:30,838 You're not gonna cut anyone with that knife and we all know it. 2120 01:32:31,381 --> 01:32:32,423 (GASPS) 2121 01:32:32,507 --> 01:32:33,632 MIKE: Oh, shit! 2122 01:32:33,717 --> 01:32:36,135 Big bird, blondie, over there! Go! Scoot! 2123 01:32:36,219 --> 01:32:37,636 MIKE: Okay. All right, easy! 2124 01:32:39,097 --> 01:32:40,097 (GROANS) 2125 01:32:40,181 --> 01:32:41,223 Oh, shit. 2126 01:32:42,600 --> 01:32:44,768 Are you crazy, Ron? I'm bleeding! 2127 01:32:45,020 --> 01:32:46,437 Give me back what's mine. 2128 01:32:46,521 --> 01:32:47,771 (BOTH GRUNTING) 2129 01:32:47,856 --> 01:32:49,064 Michelle! 2130 01:32:50,608 --> 01:32:52,026 Oh, hello, old friend! Get off! 2131 01:32:53,028 --> 01:32:54,111 Oh, God, I've missed this. 2132 01:32:54,195 --> 01:32:56,613 God, you keep that shit tight. No! 2133 01:32:57,073 --> 01:32:58,073 (GRUNTING) 2134 01:32:58,867 --> 01:32:59,992 CLAIRE: Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 2135 01:33:00,118 --> 01:33:01,285 Michelle, get up! Get up! 2136 01:33:01,619 --> 01:33:02,619 (GROANING) 2137 01:33:03,705 --> 01:33:04,872 MIKE: Just get up. 2138 01:33:05,498 --> 01:33:06,957 MICHELLE: Okay, let's be reasonable. 2139 01:33:07,042 --> 01:33:09,293 You know, I'm sure we can come to some kind of an agreement. 2140 01:33:09,711 --> 01:33:10,836 Oh, we're past that point. 2141 01:33:10,920 --> 01:33:13,130 For the first time in my life, I'm trying to do the right thing! 2142 01:33:13,214 --> 01:33:14,965 This is not about me and you! 2143 01:33:15,050 --> 01:33:16,675 You don't even want our company! 2144 01:33:16,760 --> 01:33:20,304 That's true, but you screwed me over 25 years ago, you bitch. 2145 01:33:21,056 --> 01:33:22,890 I thought sending you to prison would help, 2146 01:33:22,974 --> 01:33:26,018 but cutting you to ribbons is the only way I'll get satisfaction! 2147 01:33:26,728 --> 01:33:27,728 (GRUNTS) 2148 01:33:28,063 --> 01:33:29,229 Had enough? (GRUNTING) 2149 01:33:30,231 --> 01:33:31,231 Shit. 2150 01:33:31,608 --> 01:33:33,609 Oh, check this out. MICHELLE: Fucking psycho! 2151 01:33:35,862 --> 01:33:36,862 (GRUNTING) 2152 01:33:37,405 --> 01:33:38,405 Back up. 2153 01:33:38,990 --> 01:33:40,324 (YELLING) 2154 01:33:40,575 --> 01:33:41,575 Look at that! 2155 01:33:41,910 --> 01:33:43,786 Just a figure eight. It's like double Dutch! 2156 01:33:43,870 --> 01:33:44,912 That's not how you do it. 2157 01:33:45,080 --> 01:33:46,121 Yeah, looks like I'm doing it. 2158 01:33:46,206 --> 01:33:48,457 Look at that. I can bob, somebody can weave. 2159 01:33:48,541 --> 01:33:49,583 You see this shit. 2160 01:33:49,709 --> 01:33:51,251 Ow! God! 2161 01:33:54,255 --> 01:33:55,714 Huh? Twelve years of baton. 2162 01:33:55,799 --> 01:33:57,508 Everybody likes to make fun of the baton girls. 2163 01:33:57,592 --> 01:34:00,010 Seven, eight, one, two, three, four... 2164 01:34:03,098 --> 01:34:04,098 (GASPING) 2165 01:34:04,265 --> 01:34:05,641 Just give him the contract! 2166 01:34:05,725 --> 01:34:08,227 No! I'm getting our company back! 2167 01:34:08,937 --> 01:34:10,187 (BOTH GRUNTING) 2168 01:34:18,029 --> 01:34:19,071 (SCREAMS) 2169 01:34:19,572 --> 01:34:22,157 (EXCLAIMING) I will cut you in your white meat! 2170 01:34:22,242 --> 01:34:23,450 What? Oh, my God. 2171 01:34:24,160 --> 01:34:25,202 Ha! 2172 01:34:25,286 --> 01:34:26,787 Now we both have swords, huh? 2173 01:34:26,871 --> 01:34:28,330 What is happening? 2174 01:34:28,414 --> 01:34:29,540 Pretty fucking literal, Claire! 2175 01:34:29,624 --> 01:34:32,876 We're having a sword fight. We're both fighting with swords. 2176 01:34:32,961 --> 01:34:35,295 I haven't been with another woman since I've been with you. 2177 01:34:35,380 --> 01:34:38,799 Really? I've been with hundreds of men. 2178 01:34:39,134 --> 01:34:40,259 You whore! 2179 01:34:40,385 --> 01:34:41,718 (GRUNTING) 2180 01:34:45,682 --> 01:34:47,015 Oh, shit! 2181 01:34:49,644 --> 01:34:50,644 Claire! 2182 01:34:53,064 --> 01:34:54,731 CLAIRE: Michelle, let's go! MIKE: Michelle, come on! 2183 01:34:54,816 --> 01:34:55,899 (BOTH GROANING) 2184 01:34:55,984 --> 01:34:57,526 It's been so long. 2185 01:34:58,903 --> 01:35:00,988 That's enough! It's too hot. 2186 01:35:04,784 --> 01:35:05,868 (BARKING) 2187 01:35:09,789 --> 01:35:11,373 Wait a minute! Why are we running up? 2188 01:35:11,499 --> 01:35:13,625 I don't know, it was the only door. I'm doing the best I can! 2189 01:35:13,710 --> 01:35:15,627 I should not be running with a sword! 2190 01:35:16,504 --> 01:35:18,463 Okay, all right! Okay. All right. There's gotta be a way down! 2191 01:35:18,548 --> 01:35:19,965 Get away from there. Come here. 2192 01:35:20,049 --> 01:35:21,425 Michelle, I'm not so good with heights, you know. 2193 01:35:21,509 --> 01:35:22,634 I'm feeling kind of tingly. 2194 01:35:22,719 --> 01:35:23,969 Claire, look at me. You have been on 2195 01:35:24,053 --> 01:35:25,888 a helipad before and it's gonna be fine. 2196 01:35:25,972 --> 01:35:28,307 Right. Right, but then they weren't chasing us with swords! 2197 01:35:29,017 --> 01:35:32,269 You make a good point. Claire, I'm sorry I got you into this. 2198 01:35:32,353 --> 01:35:33,645 RENAULT: Michelle! 2199 01:35:33,730 --> 01:35:35,272 STEPHAN: God, I need to do more cardio. 2200 01:35:35,356 --> 01:35:37,524 Go over there. Go over there! Be careful. 2201 01:35:38,526 --> 01:35:40,027 You left so suddenly. 2202 01:35:40,111 --> 01:35:43,030 Okay, let them go. I'm the one you want. 2203 01:35:44,365 --> 01:35:47,159 You know, I killed a man in Costa Rica with this sword. 2204 01:35:47,952 --> 01:35:51,246 I guess you would call it my killing sword. 2205 01:35:52,373 --> 01:35:53,373 (SHOUTING) 2206 01:35:53,458 --> 01:35:54,458 (BOTH GRUNTING) 2207 01:36:02,926 --> 01:36:04,426 You're terrible in bed! 2208 01:36:04,969 --> 01:36:05,969 I know. 2209 01:36:06,137 --> 01:36:07,137 (WHIMPERING) 2210 01:36:07,222 --> 01:36:08,347 Oh, my God! Michelle! 2211 01:36:08,890 --> 01:36:10,307 Whoa. Honey! Let her go, Claire! 2212 01:36:10,391 --> 01:36:12,059 She's making a fortune in heaven. 2213 01:36:13,228 --> 01:36:15,354 Hey, hey. Hey, smile! 2214 01:36:15,438 --> 01:36:17,856 Okay, everyone take it easy. 2215 01:36:17,941 --> 01:36:19,441 I've been filming this the whole time. 2216 01:36:19,943 --> 01:36:22,236 Take the sword away from her or I swear to God I'm gonna hit "send. " 2217 01:36:22,820 --> 01:36:24,905 Yeah, you're not gonna hit "send" 2218 01:36:25,073 --> 01:36:27,157 because I'm gonna chop your hand off. 2219 01:36:27,242 --> 01:36:28,325 (GRUNTING) CLAIRE: No! 2220 01:36:28,409 --> 01:36:29,660 Oh, my God. 2221 01:36:29,744 --> 01:36:31,495 Brother! RENAULT: No! 2222 01:36:31,579 --> 01:36:34,831 Son of a... (YELLS) Samurai! 2223 01:36:34,916 --> 01:36:36,041 Shut up! 2224 01:36:36,125 --> 01:36:39,002 Oh, thank goodness! Michelle, are you all right? 2225 01:36:39,087 --> 01:36:40,128 MICHELLE: I'm fine! 2226 01:36:40,421 --> 01:36:42,339 I'm about to feel much better. 2227 01:36:43,549 --> 01:36:44,925 RENAULT: No. Yes! 2228 01:36:45,343 --> 01:36:47,761 Be wrong to ask for your forgiveness? 2229 01:36:49,472 --> 01:36:51,098 It's Ron talking. 2230 01:36:52,267 --> 01:36:54,017 Oh, Ron! I'm sorry. 2231 01:36:54,310 --> 01:36:57,604 Renault, do you still need me to hold them at bay? 2232 01:36:59,774 --> 01:37:00,732 Oh, my God. 2233 01:37:00,817 --> 01:37:01,858 Come here. 2234 01:37:02,819 --> 01:37:03,819 Ow. 2235 01:37:04,195 --> 01:37:05,195 Ow. 2236 01:37:06,614 --> 01:37:10,242 Michelle, don't make out with the sociopath! 2237 01:37:10,451 --> 01:37:13,078 I know. You make a good point. 2238 01:37:13,663 --> 01:37:15,247 But this is really good stuff. 2239 01:37:15,331 --> 01:37:16,540 Victim here. 2240 01:37:16,624 --> 01:37:17,958 Michelle! 2241 01:37:20,128 --> 01:37:23,714 CLAIRE: Michelle! He literally tried to kill you! 2242 01:37:23,798 --> 01:37:25,966 MICHELLE: I know. But his mouth didn't! 2243 01:37:33,599 --> 01:37:37,394 MICHELLE: Okay! Attention, everyone! 2244 01:37:37,478 --> 01:37:41,273 I just wanna say what a great first year for the Darnell's Darlings. 2245 01:37:41,357 --> 01:37:44,568 And what a great first house for Rachel and Claire. 2246 01:37:44,652 --> 01:37:45,986 (ALL CHEERING) 2247 01:37:46,070 --> 01:37:47,112 MIKE: Cheers! 2248 01:37:47,196 --> 01:37:51,241 Finally, they have a decent guestroom so I can stay over when I get blasted. 2249 01:37:51,326 --> 01:37:52,951 CLAIRE: Michelle. What's "blasted"? 2250 01:37:53,036 --> 01:37:55,287 I'll show you in about three drinks. (LAUGHING) 2251 01:37:55,413 --> 01:37:57,205 No, she won't. MICHELLE: I'm kidding. 2252 01:37:57,290 --> 01:37:58,498 But if I can, 2253 01:37:58,583 --> 01:38:00,584 can I take a serious note for a minute, 2254 01:38:00,668 --> 01:38:03,253 and I just wanna say I'm proud of you. 2255 01:38:03,338 --> 01:38:05,964 You've built a great family home here for you and Rachel. 2256 01:38:06,049 --> 01:38:09,343 And I'm awfully glad that I get to be a part of that. So. 2257 01:38:10,094 --> 01:38:11,261 Thank you, Michelle. 2258 01:38:11,346 --> 01:38:12,429 Thank you. 2259 01:38:12,513 --> 01:38:15,849 Oh, and thank you for the new sofa! You really shouldn't have done that. 2260 01:38:16,476 --> 01:38:18,143 Oh, well, I should have, though. 2261 01:38:18,227 --> 01:38:21,772 I mean, the old one was very uncomfortable and very dangerous. 2262 01:38:21,856 --> 01:38:23,690 But don't worry. I don't wanna hear it. 2263 01:38:23,775 --> 01:38:26,485 I did donate it to just the right person. 2264 01:38:31,324 --> 01:38:32,574 (THUDDING) 2265 01:38:33,534 --> 01:38:34,701 Hannah! 2266 01:38:35,661 --> 01:38:38,038 Michelle Darnell just sent us a sofa bed. 2267 01:38:38,122 --> 01:38:41,124 You know what I call that? A victory. I win. 2268 01:38:41,918 --> 01:38:43,085 Whatever. 2269 01:38:44,879 --> 01:38:46,213 Oh, it is comfortable. 2270 01:38:48,549 --> 01:38:50,467 Ah. (CHUCKLING) 2271 01:38:51,469 --> 01:38:52,552 It's comfortable... 2272 01:38:52,762 --> 01:38:53,762 (YELLING) 2273 01:38:55,139 --> 01:38:56,473 Darnell! 2274 01:41:03,558 --> 01:41:05,518 I may have had a little bit of your Scotch last night 2275 01:41:05,602 --> 01:41:08,688 and I got into the most wonderful chip. 2276 01:41:08,772 --> 01:41:10,982 It was called a Dorito. 2277 01:41:11,066 --> 01:41:12,400 (BOTH GIGGLING) 2278 01:41:15,320 --> 01:41:18,030 I've had wonderful Vermont ched... 2279 01:41:18,115 --> 01:41:19,615 (BOTH GIGGLING) 2280 01:41:20,409 --> 01:41:21,993 I'm so sorry. God, I'm a hack. 2281 01:41:22,452 --> 01:41:23,828 MICHELLE: Hi, Rachel. 2282 01:41:23,912 --> 01:41:25,121 It's Rachel! 2283 01:41:25,205 --> 01:41:26,706 That's what I said. 2284 01:41:27,291 --> 01:41:28,332 DIRECTOR: One more time. 2285 01:41:28,417 --> 01:41:29,667 (ALL GIGGLING) 2286 01:41:30,252 --> 01:41:32,795 I'm an icon. I am not a professional burger. 2287 01:41:33,297 --> 01:41:34,672 (LAUGHING) 2288 01:41:36,383 --> 01:41:38,175 But I like burgers. 2289 01:41:38,677 --> 01:41:40,803 I took the guard's keycard. Oh, fuck me. 2290 01:41:40,887 --> 01:41:43,097 I took the card from the geek. What the fuck is it? 2291 01:41:43,181 --> 01:41:44,598 I took the guard's keycard. 2292 01:41:44,683 --> 01:41:45,850 I took the card from the geek. 2293 01:41:45,934 --> 01:41:47,476 (LAUGHING) Oh, my God. Again. 2294 01:41:47,561 --> 01:41:48,644 Katana. 2295 01:41:49,021 --> 01:41:50,730 Oh, gosh. Sorry. 2296 01:41:51,481 --> 01:41:54,608 CLAIRE: Stop picking up wood! Michelle! (CREW LAUGHING) 2297 01:41:56,987 --> 01:41:58,779 (LAUGHING) 2298 01:41:59,239 --> 01:42:00,323 DIRECTOR: Here we go. 2299 01:42:00,407 --> 01:42:01,574 Oh, God. I'm gonna pee my pants. 2300 01:42:03,118 --> 01:42:04,118 (BURSTS INTO LAUGHTER) 2301 01:42:04,202 --> 01:42:06,329 Oh, my God. No. Please give me one more shot. 2302 01:42:07,706 --> 01:42:08,789 You pop... (GIGGLING) 2303 01:42:09,833 --> 01:42:12,084 When you left my life... (STAMMERING) Shit. Fuck. 2304 01:42:12,169 --> 01:42:14,962 What was that? I should've been so... 2305 01:42:15,047 --> 01:42:17,298 Meryl Streep would've just kept going. 2306 01:42:17,466 --> 01:42:20,301 I stand corrected. Do you want some nuts? 2307 01:42:20,427 --> 01:42:21,719 (GIGGLING) 2308 01:42:22,137 --> 01:42:25,014 So we can get to the elevators while you're sucking his dick. (GIGGLING) 2309 01:42:25,349 --> 01:42:26,515 Wait. I'm sorry. 2310 01:42:26,600 --> 01:42:31,520 I'm so sorry. I saw it coming from a mile away. I'm so sorry. 2311 01:42:32,147 --> 01:42:33,647 Okay. I can get in there. 2312 01:42:33,732 --> 01:42:36,525 I can get the contract and I can take back our country. 2313 01:42:36,610 --> 01:42:37,777 DIRECTOR: What do you mean "take... " 2314 01:42:37,861 --> 01:42:39,028 God damn it. (GIGGLING) (CREW LAUGHING) 2315 01:42:40,364 --> 01:42:43,074 I object to parolees attending our meetings 2316 01:42:43,158 --> 01:42:45,284 and I'd like to put that in the official transcreept... 2317 01:42:45,369 --> 01:42:46,619 (CHUCKLING) 2318 01:42:46,703 --> 01:42:48,788 I made a good business... 2319 01:42:50,374 --> 01:42:53,250 You know what? You made a good business... 2320 01:42:53,335 --> 01:42:57,421 Really? You fucking kidding me? I can't say "decision. " 2321 01:42:57,589 --> 01:42:58,964 CLAIRE: Language, Michelle. Yeah. 2322 01:42:59,341 --> 01:43:00,549 Good night! 2323 01:43:00,675 --> 01:43:02,009 (CREW LAUGHING) 2324 01:43:02,094 --> 01:43:03,844 You think they'll ever yell "cut"? 2325 01:43:04,304 --> 01:43:05,638 (LAUGHING) 2326 01:43:05,722 --> 01:43:06,889 No.