1 00:00:22,544 --> 00:00:23,588 Huh. 2 00:00:27,114 --> 00:00:28,679 Hmm. 3 00:00:29,855 --> 00:00:30,899 Hmm. 4 00:00:31,943 --> 00:00:32,728 SPORTSCASTER: Buckle up. 5 00:00:32,771 --> 00:00:34,250 We're going to overtime. 6 00:00:34,295 --> 00:00:35,643 [whoops] 7 00:00:35,686 --> 00:00:37,167 What the hell is this? 8 00:00:37,210 --> 00:00:39,082 Warriors and Knicks overtime. 9 00:00:39,125 --> 00:00:40,865 Ashley-- five stars. 10 00:00:40,909 --> 00:00:42,476 Natalya-- four stars. 11 00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:44,043 Cornelia-- one star. 12 00:00:44,087 --> 00:00:46,088 What, because her name was Cornelia? 13 00:00:46,133 --> 00:00:47,350 That's not her fault, 14 00:00:47,395 --> 00:00:48,917 you should give her parents one star. 15 00:00:49,918 --> 00:00:51,746 It's my amends list for Al-Anon. 16 00:00:51,789 --> 00:00:54,097 And you hid it behind my panty drawer? 17 00:00:54,140 --> 00:00:55,228 Freak. 18 00:00:56,273 --> 00:00:58,145 I wasn't hiding anything, I lost it. 19 00:00:58,188 --> 00:00:59,450 I wrote that a year ago. 20 00:01:00,798 --> 00:01:02,887 You know, I don't just vent about you at Al-Anon. 21 00:01:02,932 --> 00:01:04,194 I do the steps. 22 00:01:04,237 --> 00:01:05,239 SPORTSCASTER:Let's get ready for the tip-off. 23 00:01:05,281 --> 00:01:06,456 Except that one. 24 00:01:06,501 --> 00:01:09,721 Yeah, you're gonna catch the highlights, pal. 25 00:01:09,765 --> 00:01:12,768 So, you owe an amends to all these women? 26 00:01:12,811 --> 00:01:14,944 And some of their husbands. 27 00:01:15,987 --> 00:01:17,337 And what do the stars mean? 28 00:01:17,381 --> 00:01:18,555 How hot they were? 29 00:01:18,599 --> 00:01:21,081 It's how bad my behavior was. 30 00:01:22,168 --> 00:01:23,518 Candy was four stars? 31 00:01:23,561 --> 00:01:24,736 Yeah. 32 00:01:24,780 --> 00:01:26,650 [laughs]: Actually, in both departments. 33 00:01:28,087 --> 00:01:29,305 [clears throat] 34 00:01:30,350 --> 00:01:33,527 So, you wrote down this list 35 00:01:33,570 --> 00:01:34,920 of, like, a thousand names, 36 00:01:34,963 --> 00:01:36,313 and you haven't gotten in touch with any of them? 37 00:01:36,356 --> 00:01:37,227 Correct. 38 00:01:38,271 --> 00:01:39,621 And, by the way, where is my name? 39 00:01:43,712 --> 00:01:45,322 Oh, wait, here I am. 40 00:01:46,801 --> 00:01:48,368 Different Bonnie. 41 00:01:50,197 --> 00:01:52,155 ♪ 42 00:02:10,868 --> 00:02:13,133 Interesting.My amends list was 43 00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:14,525 a bunch of laws I broke. 44 00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:16,788 Yours is a bunch of heartsyou broke. 45 00:02:16,831 --> 00:02:20,182 My Al-Anon sponsor had me look at my patterns with women, 46 00:02:20,227 --> 00:02:23,186 and I did a lot of damage there. 47 00:02:23,229 --> 00:02:25,667 I was either drawn to drama or creating it. 48 00:02:25,710 --> 00:02:27,364 Like you create it with me? 49 00:02:28,408 --> 00:02:29,453 Sure. 50 00:02:29,497 --> 00:02:32,021 So I... 51 00:02:32,063 --> 00:02:34,502 made this list and then I lost it. 52 00:02:34,545 --> 00:02:36,721 If that's not a sign from my higher power... 53 00:02:36,764 --> 00:02:38,461 Yeah, nice try. 54 00:02:38,506 --> 00:02:40,550 At least I had drugsand drinking to blame. 55 00:02:40,594 --> 00:02:42,858 Yeah, you had alcohol. 56 00:02:42,901 --> 00:02:44,728 I had a penis. 57 00:02:44,772 --> 00:02:48,341 Both weapons of mass destructionwhen used irresponsibly. 58 00:02:48,384 --> 00:02:50,257 Well, there's your list. 59 00:02:50,300 --> 00:02:51,649 There's your phone,get cracking. 60 00:02:53,085 --> 00:02:54,043 [chuckles] 61 00:02:54,086 --> 00:02:56,698 I know I should. 62 00:02:56,740 --> 00:02:59,222 I just don't know what to say. 63 00:02:59,265 --> 00:03:02,704 And that's where, once again, you are fortunate to have me. 64 00:03:02,747 --> 00:03:06,663 No one has made more amends to more people than I have. 65 00:03:06,707 --> 00:03:08,230 It's the reason I learned Spanish. 66 00:03:10,493 --> 00:03:13,366 I've done them in person, on the phone, in song. 67 00:03:13,409 --> 00:03:15,804 I'm not gonna sing to anyone. 68 00:03:15,847 --> 00:03:18,067 The DMV lady loved it. 69 00:03:18,110 --> 00:03:20,938 ♪ I'm sorry I drove us off a bridge ♪ 70 00:03:20,983 --> 00:03:22,550 ♪ During my three-point turn 71 00:03:22,592 --> 00:03:26,205 ♪ But I was tripping balls on acid. ♪ 72 00:03:28,772 --> 00:03:31,514 Don't be shy with the jazz hands. 73 00:03:31,558 --> 00:03:32,734 I-I don't know. 74 00:03:32,776 --> 00:03:34,604 I've got six pages of past here. 75 00:03:34,649 --> 00:03:36,737 Well, let's startat the beginning. 76 00:03:36,781 --> 00:03:40,175 What's the story with five-star Ashley? 77 00:03:40,219 --> 00:03:43,439 Uh, she was a girl I started dating right out of college-- 78 00:03:43,484 --> 00:03:45,789 redhead, psych major, loved to ski. 79 00:03:45,834 --> 00:03:46,921 Get to the stars. 80 00:03:46,965 --> 00:03:49,663 I slept with somebody she knew. 81 00:03:49,706 --> 00:03:51,013 Go on. 82 00:03:51,055 --> 00:03:52,753 And when I moved to L.A., 83 00:03:52,796 --> 00:03:55,712 I accidentally on purpose didn't give her my new number. 84 00:03:55,757 --> 00:03:56,974 That's it? 85 00:03:57,019 --> 00:03:58,454 And I kept her Supertramp album. 86 00:03:58,498 --> 00:04:00,501 [scoffs] Supertramp? You did her a favor. 87 00:04:01,588 --> 00:04:04,592 Let me tell you, honey,making amends is a lot like sex. 88 00:04:04,634 --> 00:04:05,984 The first time, it's awkward 89 00:04:06,027 --> 00:04:07,289 'cause you don't know what you're doing. 90 00:04:07,334 --> 00:04:09,117 And then you get better at it and it's fun, 91 00:04:09,161 --> 00:04:10,467 and eventually you get so good, 92 00:04:10,510 --> 00:04:12,252 you set up a camera and film yourself. 93 00:04:13,426 --> 00:04:14,471 Hypothetically. 94 00:04:17,908 --> 00:04:19,432 Should we have waitedfor Bonnie? 95 00:04:19,475 --> 00:04:21,303 She never waits for us. 96 00:04:21,348 --> 00:04:22,653 But you know she's gonna get more mad at me 97 00:04:22,697 --> 00:04:24,088 than the rest of you guys. 98 00:04:24,132 --> 00:04:25,612 Don't worry, if she comesafter you, I got your back. 99 00:04:25,656 --> 00:04:26,613 Thanks. 100 00:04:26,656 --> 00:04:28,528 Incoming.Seriously, Wendy? 101 00:04:28,572 --> 00:04:29,964 You couldn't wait? 102 00:04:30,007 --> 00:04:31,706 We tried to tell her. 103 00:04:31,749 --> 00:04:33,447 What was that? 104 00:04:33,490 --> 00:04:35,971 How you survive seven yearsin prison. 105 00:04:36,014 --> 00:04:37,146 Give me the cake. 106 00:04:37,189 --> 00:04:39,060 I need it after the morning I just had. 107 00:04:39,103 --> 00:04:41,932 You know, you don'thave to come every day. 108 00:04:42,978 --> 00:04:44,805 At my urging, 109 00:04:44,848 --> 00:04:47,591 Adam decided to embark on his amends journey. 110 00:04:47,634 --> 00:04:50,332 Let's just say the first one did not go so well. 111 00:04:50,377 --> 00:04:51,812 She's dead? 112 00:04:51,855 --> 00:04:54,031 Jazz hands. 113 00:04:55,947 --> 00:04:57,340 [women sympathizing]Oh, so sad. 114 00:04:57,384 --> 00:04:59,341 Kicked the bucket six months ago. 115 00:04:59,386 --> 00:05:01,735 Dead. That's a tough one out of the gate. 116 00:05:01,778 --> 00:05:03,476 Yeah. He still gets credit for trying. 117 00:05:03,519 --> 00:05:04,781 Mm. 118 00:05:04,826 --> 00:05:07,350 I remember my first time tackling my amends list. 119 00:05:07,394 --> 00:05:09,483 Did you have Agnes at the switchboard connect you 120 00:05:09,526 --> 00:05:11,745 to Klondike-five, zero-one-nine-eight? 121 00:05:13,747 --> 00:05:15,052 No. 122 00:05:15,096 --> 00:05:16,620 It was in a phone booth, 123 00:05:16,663 --> 00:05:20,711 and I had to do awful things to get the change for the call. 124 00:05:20,754 --> 00:05:22,582 Mm. I had a whole section of my list 125 00:05:22,625 --> 00:05:24,367 that was just "things I set on fire." 126 00:05:25,411 --> 00:05:27,630 Adam's taking this woman's death very hard. 127 00:05:27,675 --> 00:05:29,894 I caught him crying while he was brushing his teeth. 128 00:05:29,937 --> 00:05:32,853 It's so gross when men feel. 129 00:05:32,896 --> 00:05:35,682 Yeah. It's like women being umpires-- who needs that? 130 00:05:35,725 --> 00:05:37,031 Oh, God. 131 00:05:37,074 --> 00:05:38,990 I'm sorry, were you an umpire? 132 00:05:39,033 --> 00:05:42,254 I bet you looked real cute in those gray slacks. 133 00:05:42,298 --> 00:05:45,822 No, this makes me realize it's time I get to my big amends. 134 00:05:45,867 --> 00:05:47,694 You mean like not having my back with Bonnie? 135 00:05:47,737 --> 00:05:50,088 Why don't we let that one go, sweetheart? 136 00:05:51,437 --> 00:05:53,396 So, who is it? A fella you done wrong? 137 00:05:53,439 --> 00:05:54,788 [gasps] Oh, I know. 138 00:05:54,831 --> 00:05:56,617 Did you set someone on fire in their jail cell? 139 00:05:56,659 --> 00:05:58,749 What is it with you and fire? 140 00:05:58,793 --> 00:06:02,752 Oh, honestly, it's just so beautiful while it destroys. 141 00:06:04,754 --> 00:06:06,278 Someone talk. 142 00:06:06,322 --> 00:06:08,889 It's the steakhouse I robbed. 143 00:06:08,932 --> 00:06:10,238 I've driven by it so many times. 144 00:06:10,281 --> 00:06:12,283 I've just never had the courage to go in. 145 00:06:12,327 --> 00:06:14,504 Yeah, me, too, but for very different reasons. 146 00:06:14,548 --> 00:06:17,812 The only steak that costs $4.99 is called horse. 147 00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:20,641 You know what? 148 00:06:20,684 --> 00:06:22,076 I'm starting to think it was the husband. 149 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:24,252 He's too nice, and they wouldn't use 150 00:06:24,295 --> 00:06:26,646 an actor like that unless he murdered. 151 00:06:26,689 --> 00:06:29,084 And that guy had a show, remember? 152 00:06:29,127 --> 00:06:31,346 Remember, he lived on a boat and gave free legal advice 153 00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:32,608 to other people that lived on boats? 154 00:06:32,653 --> 00:06:34,654 What was it called? Boat's Law? 155 00:06:36,047 --> 00:06:38,005 I-I don't really care.Yeah, well, neither did America. 156 00:06:38,048 --> 00:06:39,920 That's why it's not on anymore. 157 00:06:39,963 --> 00:06:42,139 Aren't you gonna open that beer? 158 00:06:42,183 --> 00:06:43,880 No, you can have it. 159 00:06:46,144 --> 00:06:48,276 Unless you want me to end up on a pool floatie 160 00:06:48,319 --> 00:06:50,670 in the Bellagio fountain, no, I cannot. 161 00:06:52,411 --> 00:06:53,456 [chuckles]: Sorry. 162 00:06:54,805 --> 00:06:56,807 [chatter on TV] 163 00:06:59,723 --> 00:07:01,377 [scoffs] 164 00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:03,944 What's going on? 165 00:07:03,987 --> 00:07:06,208 You have barely said a word all day, 166 00:07:06,250 --> 00:07:08,601 and now you're not paying attention to NCIS: New Orleans. 167 00:07:08,644 --> 00:07:09,863 And this is a good one. 168 00:07:09,906 --> 00:07:12,605 The crawdads ate the guy's fingerprints off. 169 00:07:12,649 --> 00:07:15,086 I'm f-- I'm fine. 170 00:07:15,129 --> 00:07:17,175 Oh, my God. 171 00:07:17,218 --> 00:07:19,569 Are you still upset about Ashley? 172 00:07:19,612 --> 00:07:20,961 Hello, that was Tuesday. 173 00:07:21,004 --> 00:07:22,963 The official mourning period for a girl you dated 174 00:07:23,007 --> 00:07:25,314 during the Reagan administration is over. 175 00:07:25,356 --> 00:07:28,882 You women all want us to be vulnerable until we are. 176 00:07:29,971 --> 00:07:33,800 You're sad because you kissed a girl who's dead. 177 00:07:33,843 --> 00:07:35,759 I mean, if it's any comfort, 178 00:07:35,802 --> 00:07:37,805 I had sex with someone while he was dying. 179 00:07:37,848 --> 00:07:39,720 Actually, wait. 180 00:07:39,762 --> 00:07:41,372 That happened twice. 181 00:07:42,374 --> 00:07:44,288 I think I'd like to be alone. 182 00:07:45,377 --> 00:07:47,553 Seriously? You're pushing me away? 183 00:07:47,596 --> 00:07:49,293 I just need some space. 184 00:07:49,338 --> 00:07:51,949 Are you still in love with Ashley? 185 00:07:51,992 --> 00:07:53,995 Do you have a secret family? 186 00:07:54,038 --> 00:07:56,519 Oh, God, I got to get out of here. 187 00:07:56,562 --> 00:07:57,911 To go and see them? 188 00:07:57,954 --> 00:07:59,521 What is it, little Adam's birthday? 189 00:07:59,566 --> 00:08:00,697 You're crazy. 190 00:08:00,740 --> 00:08:02,482 Why is this affecting you so much? 191 00:08:02,524 --> 00:08:03,961 It just is, okay? 192 00:08:04,004 --> 00:08:06,007 Where are you going? I'm trying to help. 193 00:08:06,050 --> 00:08:07,747 Try less. [groans] 194 00:08:07,790 --> 00:08:11,533 Legal Seagull! That was the name of the show. 195 00:08:13,884 --> 00:08:16,016 Hi, hello, are you the manager? 196 00:08:16,060 --> 00:08:18,279 Who's asking? 197 00:08:18,322 --> 00:08:20,369 Well, my name is Tammy Diffendorf, 198 00:08:20,411 --> 00:08:22,023 and when this was an Outback, I... 199 00:08:22,065 --> 00:08:23,850 Hey, we chose to change the name. 200 00:08:23,894 --> 00:08:25,896 They didn't leave us. 201 00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:28,290 Okay. Well, nine years ago, 202 00:08:28,332 --> 00:08:30,901 I robbed this restaurant and I went to prison. 203 00:08:30,944 --> 00:08:34,251 And since that time, I've gotten sober and changed my life. 204 00:08:34,296 --> 00:08:37,341 And I just really want to make amends for my crime. 205 00:08:37,385 --> 00:08:38,865 Oh, I remember. 206 00:08:38,908 --> 00:08:40,998 You wore a catsuit and hit us on cops-eat-free night. 207 00:08:41,042 --> 00:08:43,130 That security footage was a staple 208 00:08:43,173 --> 00:08:44,480 at the Christmas party for years. 209 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:47,875 Also a staple at my trial. 210 00:08:47,918 --> 00:08:49,658 You know what the real crime is? 211 00:08:49,702 --> 00:08:52,749 Nine years later, I still work here. 212 00:08:55,838 --> 00:08:58,014 Anyway, um... [clears throat] 213 00:08:58,058 --> 00:08:59,581 I can't take back what I did, 214 00:08:59,625 --> 00:09:02,019 but I want you to know from the bottom of my heart... 215 00:09:02,062 --> 00:09:04,804 [phone rings]Excuse me. [clears throat] 216 00:09:05,893 --> 00:09:08,330 Hey, Bon, I'm kind of in the middle of something here. 217 00:09:08,373 --> 00:09:09,809 Have you seen Adam? 218 00:09:09,852 --> 00:09:11,899 He took off in the RV, and he's not answering his phone. 219 00:09:11,942 --> 00:09:12,855 Oh, my God. 220 00:09:12,899 --> 00:09:14,162 Is this blood? 221 00:09:16,293 --> 00:09:17,730 I'm sorry, Bonnie. 222 00:09:17,774 --> 00:09:19,732 I haven't heard from him, but I'm sure he'll be back. 223 00:09:19,775 --> 00:09:22,125 Are you? He basically drove off in a house. 224 00:09:22,169 --> 00:09:24,912 There's nothing to stop him from starting a new life. 225 00:09:24,955 --> 00:09:28,001 [gasps] And he just learned how to remove his fingerprints. 226 00:09:37,359 --> 00:09:39,100 DARRYL: Follow my logic here. 227 00:09:39,143 --> 00:09:42,668 A hamburger is meat between two pieces of bread. 228 00:09:42,711 --> 00:09:44,235 How is that not a sandwich? 229 00:09:44,278 --> 00:09:46,889 Because it's a hamburger. It's its own damn thing, D'rryl. 230 00:09:46,933 --> 00:09:48,587 Please stop using my name like that. 231 00:09:48,630 --> 00:09:51,198 I will when you finally make a point, D'rryl. 232 00:09:51,241 --> 00:09:52,982 All right, smart guy, 233 00:09:53,027 --> 00:09:55,506 what about a patty melt?Not a sandwich. 234 00:09:55,551 --> 00:09:56,856 [groans] Stop embarrassing yourself. 235 00:09:56,899 --> 00:09:59,729 It's a melt, it's right there in the name. 236 00:09:59,773 --> 00:10:01,513 I can't even look at you. 237 00:10:01,557 --> 00:10:03,994 Will you two please shut the hell up? 238 00:10:05,342 --> 00:10:06,649 Excuse me? 239 00:10:06,692 --> 00:10:09,609 I've been listening to you jackasses for 20 minutes. 240 00:10:09,652 --> 00:10:11,087 Is a hot dog a sandwich? 241 00:10:11,131 --> 00:10:12,567 Is a taco a sandwich? 242 00:10:12,611 --> 00:10:14,788 Is a jelly doughnut a sandwich? 243 00:10:14,831 --> 00:10:17,442 Who cares? We're all gonna die! 244 00:10:17,485 --> 00:10:19,923 What's your problem, Wheels? 245 00:10:19,966 --> 00:10:22,360 Don't you call me that. 246 00:10:22,403 --> 00:10:25,494 Oh, okay. Chair? 247 00:10:27,975 --> 00:10:30,019 [levers click] 248 00:10:36,157 --> 00:10:37,375 Sorry about that. 249 00:10:37,418 --> 00:10:39,115 My friend's husband seems to be missing. 250 00:10:39,159 --> 00:10:40,639 Oh. You might want to take a look around 251 00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:41,815 and see if he's here. 252 00:10:41,857 --> 00:10:44,381 We get a lot of angry men eating alone. 253 00:10:44,426 --> 00:10:46,297 I'm sure the Bloomin' Onion cheers 'em up. 254 00:10:46,341 --> 00:10:48,298 Hey, we don't offer that product or anything 255 00:10:48,342 --> 00:10:49,778 that infringes on its trademark. 256 00:10:51,475 --> 00:10:53,783 All right, let's wrap up the apology. 257 00:10:53,826 --> 00:10:56,133 I've got a sneeze guard to wipe down. 258 00:10:56,177 --> 00:10:58,440 It's actually an amends.What's the difference? 259 00:10:58,482 --> 00:11:00,268 Well, an apology is just saying "I'm sorry." 260 00:11:00,311 --> 00:11:01,529 An amends is an attempt 261 00:11:01,572 --> 00:11:03,663 to actually change the way you live your life. 262 00:11:03,706 --> 00:11:05,707 That's part of an apology.No, it's not. 263 00:11:05,751 --> 00:11:07,317 It is where I come from.No, no. 264 00:11:07,361 --> 00:11:08,841 An apology is just saying you're sorry. 265 00:11:08,884 --> 00:11:10,756 You're not actually doing anything. 266 00:11:10,799 --> 00:11:12,541 Totally disagree. A sincere desire 267 00:11:12,583 --> 00:11:13,933 to change must be included in any apology, 268 00:11:13,976 --> 00:11:15,283 or it doesn't count. 269 00:11:15,326 --> 00:11:16,719 No, see, the word "amends" comes 270 00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:19,287 from the root word "mend," meaning "to repair." 271 00:11:19,330 --> 00:11:22,289 So an amends is a... an attempt to fix things. 272 00:11:22,332 --> 00:11:23,639 Are you gonna stand there and tell me 273 00:11:23,682 --> 00:11:26,033 an apology doesn't fix things? 274 00:11:27,076 --> 00:11:29,297 This got kind of intense. 275 00:11:29,340 --> 00:11:31,472 Which is strange 'cause I really don't care. 276 00:11:31,515 --> 00:11:33,953 Look, I'm just trying to work my program 277 00:11:33,996 --> 00:11:35,999 so I can be more spiritually evolved! 278 00:11:36,043 --> 00:11:37,826 If you really want to make a difference in the world, 279 00:11:37,870 --> 00:11:39,263 how about you and I go out to the parking lot, 280 00:11:39,307 --> 00:11:41,351 you hop in your car and run me over? 281 00:11:45,616 --> 00:11:47,009 Hey, Nancy. 282 00:11:47,053 --> 00:11:48,490 Marge! 283 00:11:48,533 --> 00:11:50,317 Did another one of your lambs lose their way? 284 00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:52,668 [laughs] Not officially one of mine, 285 00:11:52,711 --> 00:11:53,886 but he's married to one of mine. 286 00:11:53,929 --> 00:11:55,322 Adam Janikowski. 287 00:11:56,540 --> 00:11:59,153 Do you guys still accept the Discover Card? 288 00:11:59,196 --> 00:12:02,591 Yeah. You should be getting the friends and family discount. 289 00:12:04,027 --> 00:12:06,421 Janikowski's ride's here. 290 00:12:06,464 --> 00:12:09,379 Let me guess. You nailed him on a 647? 291 00:12:09,423 --> 00:12:11,947 Boy, you're good. Huh. 292 00:12:11,991 --> 00:12:14,254 Could've had him on a 415, too. 293 00:12:14,298 --> 00:12:15,822 A fight?Mm. 294 00:12:15,865 --> 00:12:17,866 Who would fight a man in a wheelchair? 295 00:12:17,911 --> 00:12:20,740 Someone who got punched in the face by a man in a wheelchair. 296 00:12:26,222 --> 00:12:27,963 Thanks for coming. 297 00:12:29,530 --> 00:12:31,663 Sorry I called you instead of Bonnie. 298 00:12:31,706 --> 00:12:33,796 I just can't deal with her right now. 299 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:35,711 Sometimes she makes me so mad. 300 00:12:35,754 --> 00:12:38,713 And you end up punching somebody who doesn't deserve it. 301 00:12:38,758 --> 00:12:41,282 Been there, just never got caught. 302 00:12:45,111 --> 00:12:47,722 Warning: I am not having a good day. 303 00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:50,116 Terrific, and sitting next to me. 304 00:12:51,726 --> 00:12:54,033 You can't whisper when the person's right next to you. 305 00:12:54,076 --> 00:12:55,383 It doesn't work. 306 00:12:55,426 --> 00:12:56,993 She does it all the time. 307 00:12:57,037 --> 00:12:58,559 What are you doing? 308 00:12:58,602 --> 00:13:02,869 You're like a kid at the zoo poking a stick through the bars. 309 00:13:02,912 --> 00:13:05,871 First, Adam took off in his stupid house-on-wheels, 310 00:13:05,914 --> 00:13:07,917 and now he won't answer my calls or my texts. 311 00:13:07,961 --> 00:13:09,918 Marjorie isn't answering my texts. 312 00:13:09,962 --> 00:13:12,095 This one took my call but was very distracted. 313 00:13:12,139 --> 00:13:15,359 Hey, I was mid-amends with the manager of the place I robbed. 314 00:13:15,403 --> 00:13:16,838 He's an interesting guy. 315 00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:19,407 Did you know the first steak ever was served in Italy? 316 00:13:20,755 --> 00:13:22,365 I'm guessing the first steak ever was served 317 00:13:22,409 --> 00:13:24,019 when a cow got hit by lightning. 318 00:13:24,063 --> 00:13:25,586 In Italy. 319 00:13:26,674 --> 00:13:28,937 I just... I don't understand why he's so upset. 320 00:13:28,981 --> 00:13:30,374 And why is he shutting me out? 321 00:13:30,418 --> 00:13:31,985 I'm in his corner no matter what. 322 00:13:32,028 --> 00:13:34,596 Did you let him know that whatever he's feeling is okay, 323 00:13:34,639 --> 00:13:35,857 and you can handle it? 324 00:13:35,902 --> 00:13:37,424 While being patient and understanding 325 00:13:37,467 --> 00:13:39,383 with both looks and your tone? 326 00:13:40,427 --> 00:13:43,474 I don't know. Maybe. 327 00:13:43,518 --> 00:13:45,215 I-I might have been a little insensitive. 328 00:13:45,259 --> 00:13:48,043 I can't be sure unless Marjorie is here making a face at me. 329 00:13:49,915 --> 00:13:53,179 The odds of you being insensitive are pretty good. 330 00:13:53,222 --> 00:13:56,312 That's very insensitive of you to point that out. 331 00:13:56,356 --> 00:13:58,663 Wait. Was that insensitive or just annoying? 332 00:13:58,706 --> 00:14:00,708 Where the hell is Marjorie?! 333 00:14:04,451 --> 00:14:06,628 This is nice. 334 00:14:06,671 --> 00:14:10,023 You got your own fortress of solitude.Yeah. 335 00:14:10,066 --> 00:14:12,851 I felt like I needed to be alone with my thoughts. 336 00:14:14,418 --> 00:14:16,376 Then I thought, 337 00:14:16,419 --> 00:14:18,509 "Now I'm alone with my thoughts." 338 00:14:19,509 --> 00:14:21,556 And then my thoughts said to me, 339 00:14:21,599 --> 00:14:23,557 "Why are you leaving us alone with you?" 340 00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:25,081 And next thing you know, 341 00:14:25,125 --> 00:14:27,169 I'm bailing you out instead of your wife. 342 00:14:27,213 --> 00:14:28,911 Yeah. 343 00:14:28,955 --> 00:14:30,913 So what's going on? 344 00:14:30,956 --> 00:14:32,697 Beats the hell out of me. 345 00:14:32,740 --> 00:14:34,264 I started making my amends. 346 00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:36,091 Number one on the list is dead. 347 00:14:36,135 --> 00:14:37,919 It knocked me sideways. 348 00:14:37,963 --> 00:14:40,749 And then I got in my first bar fight of our new century. 349 00:14:40,792 --> 00:14:43,056 Mm. That still doesn't help me understand 350 00:14:43,099 --> 00:14:45,100 why you didn't call Bonnie. 351 00:14:45,144 --> 00:14:48,495 Because Bonnie couldn't understand why I was upset. 352 00:14:48,538 --> 00:14:50,759 Uh, and neither can you. [chuckles softly] 353 00:14:51,802 --> 00:14:53,980 You know, Bonnie's always talking 354 00:14:54,023 --> 00:14:56,198 about how helpful you are. 355 00:14:56,243 --> 00:14:58,548 Whe-When does that part kick in? 356 00:14:58,592 --> 00:15:02,813 When you get honest about what's really going on. 357 00:15:02,857 --> 00:15:04,860 Oh, that was good. 358 00:15:05,904 --> 00:15:09,604 Well, one thing-- might be it, might not-- 359 00:15:09,647 --> 00:15:11,692 I didn't tell her the whole truth 360 00:15:11,735 --> 00:15:13,173 about what happened with Ashley. 361 00:15:15,523 --> 00:15:18,264 You're gonna play it that way, huh? 362 00:15:18,307 --> 00:15:20,309 Okay. 363 00:15:20,354 --> 00:15:21,963 We broke up because I slept with somebody, 364 00:15:22,008 --> 00:15:23,923 and that somebody was her mother. 365 00:15:23,966 --> 00:15:26,447 I'd appreciate if you wouldn't look at me right now. 366 00:15:26,490 --> 00:15:28,971 I'll stare into my coffee. Go on. 367 00:15:29,014 --> 00:15:31,755 I didn't sleep with her once. I slept with her seven times. 368 00:15:32,801 --> 00:15:34,672 You might want to grip your seat for this moment. 369 00:15:34,716 --> 00:15:37,110 There was one day where I slept with them both. 370 00:15:38,153 --> 00:15:40,504 How much of this does Bonnie know? 371 00:15:40,548 --> 00:15:42,985 Not much. There was some heavy editing of the truth. 372 00:15:43,028 --> 00:15:45,205 [sighs] Oh. 373 00:15:45,248 --> 00:15:48,120 I did this horrible thing that I've lived with for years, 374 00:15:48,163 --> 00:15:51,775 and now there's no way for me to ever make amends to Ashley. 375 00:15:51,820 --> 00:15:56,129 Not direct amends, but you can make a living amends. 376 00:15:56,172 --> 00:15:58,260 We don't do this to stay in the guilt and shame. 377 00:15:58,304 --> 00:16:00,307 We do this to move forward. 378 00:16:00,350 --> 00:16:03,048 So, how do I do that? 379 00:16:03,091 --> 00:16:05,312 You can start by living differently 380 00:16:05,355 --> 00:16:08,357 so that it never happens with anyone else. 381 00:16:08,402 --> 00:16:11,013 Well, I already do that. 382 00:16:13,058 --> 00:16:17,236 Maybe part of living differently is being honest with Bonnie. 383 00:16:18,759 --> 00:16:21,893 Even if it's hard, even if it hurts. 384 00:16:21,937 --> 00:16:23,894 Oh, it's gonna hurt. 385 00:16:23,938 --> 00:16:26,768 At this point, it'll hurt either way. 386 00:16:27,812 --> 00:16:31,120 Thanks... for being here. 387 00:16:31,163 --> 00:16:34,036 If I can ever do anything to repay you, like, 388 00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:35,732 like... 389 00:16:35,777 --> 00:16:38,562 You can loan me this thing next time there's a music festival. 390 00:16:38,605 --> 00:16:41,652 I can't even go anymore 'cause I have to pee too much. 391 00:16:45,221 --> 00:16:47,222 So, to review-- 392 00:16:47,267 --> 00:16:50,269 you cheated on Ashley with her mother, 393 00:16:50,312 --> 00:16:53,142 you cheated on her mother with Ashley, 394 00:16:53,186 --> 00:16:56,057 you chose not to tell me those facts, 395 00:16:56,101 --> 00:16:57,972 you got arrested in a bar fight, 396 00:16:58,017 --> 00:17:00,583 and then called Marjorie instead of your loving wife. 397 00:17:00,628 --> 00:17:04,632 To be fair, those events took place over a 40-year period. 398 00:17:05,633 --> 00:17:07,634 Still stings. 399 00:17:07,678 --> 00:17:10,159 You're right. I'll add you to the list. 400 00:17:10,202 --> 00:17:12,422 No, no, you already have a Bonnie on your list. 401 00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:14,729 This one's gonna need jewelry. 402 00:17:14,771 --> 00:17:17,601 I should have shared with you first. 403 00:17:17,644 --> 00:17:19,080 Why didn't you? 404 00:17:19,125 --> 00:17:21,431 'Cause I was ashamed of myself. 405 00:17:22,998 --> 00:17:25,869 Ashley and her mother ended up not speaking, 406 00:17:25,913 --> 00:17:27,611 and that was all on me. 407 00:17:27,654 --> 00:17:29,830 Oh, honey. 408 00:17:29,874 --> 00:17:31,484 You sit in those meetings, 409 00:17:31,528 --> 00:17:34,269 and you hear all the ways that people have hurt each other, 410 00:17:34,314 --> 00:17:36,097 and you start thinking about all the stuff 411 00:17:36,142 --> 00:17:38,535 that you've done that you're not proud of. 412 00:17:38,578 --> 00:17:43,105 I mean, I felt so awful about so many things. 413 00:17:43,148 --> 00:17:45,106 And I... 414 00:17:45,151 --> 00:17:48,458 started to worry, "How... 415 00:17:48,501 --> 00:17:52,114 How can Bonnie ever feel the same way about me again?" 416 00:17:54,028 --> 00:17:55,987 I like the way you look at me. 417 00:17:56,030 --> 00:17:57,684 I don't want that to change. 418 00:17:57,728 --> 00:17:59,469 Oh... 419 00:17:59,512 --> 00:18:02,558 After all the things you've learned about me over the years, 420 00:18:02,603 --> 00:18:04,692 how can I sit here and judge you? 421 00:18:04,734 --> 00:18:07,128 I mean, I love that you have a past. 422 00:18:07,173 --> 00:18:09,696 Your past is what's made you you. 423 00:18:09,740 --> 00:18:12,700 And-and it's something to talk about if the cable goes out. 424 00:18:14,354 --> 00:18:18,488 And... I am sorry if I was a little hard on you 425 00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:19,489 when you were being... 426 00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:22,057 Emotional?Yeah. 427 00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:27,148 I'm happy to know you're someone who's capable of remorse. 428 00:18:27,192 --> 00:18:29,019 I mean, given that half the world decided 429 00:18:29,064 --> 00:18:30,544 shame is no longer a thing anymore, 430 00:18:30,586 --> 00:18:32,111 it's kind of refreshing. 431 00:18:33,199 --> 00:18:35,243 Thank you. 432 00:18:35,288 --> 00:18:37,420 And you know what else? 433 00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:40,683 I think I owe you an amends. 434 00:18:40,728 --> 00:18:43,338 Man, this amends thing is just a carousel 435 00:18:43,383 --> 00:18:45,079 you can't get off, isn't it?Mm-hmm. 436 00:18:52,913 --> 00:18:54,523 Are we seriously eating here? 437 00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:57,353 You all smell that, don't you? 438 00:18:57,396 --> 00:18:59,181 Oh, hi, Lou. Table for four. 439 00:18:59,224 --> 00:19:00,922 Are you messing with me? 440 00:19:00,964 --> 00:19:03,532 My friends and I eat out about 17 times a week, 441 00:19:03,576 --> 00:19:05,491 so I figured we'd work you into the rotation. 442 00:19:05,535 --> 00:19:08,233 How about you go ahead and dust off one of those tables for us? 443 00:19:08,277 --> 00:19:10,192 Is this still part of the whole apology thing? 444 00:19:10,236 --> 00:19:13,760 Amends.Do not go there. He will not yield. 445 00:19:13,804 --> 00:19:15,675 All right, ladies, follow me. 446 00:19:15,719 --> 00:19:20,115 And I never said this, but skip the surf, stick to the turf. 447 00:19:21,115 --> 00:19:22,335 Your fish isn't fresh? 448 00:19:22,377 --> 00:19:24,163 It's not even fish. 449 00:19:25,772 --> 00:19:29,384 Where is she? Where is she? 450 00:19:29,429 --> 00:19:31,518 You look high, I'll look low. 451 00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:34,738 Geez, you think they charge more for eye-level? 452 00:19:34,781 --> 00:19:37,306 Probably. It's like a grocery store. 453 00:19:37,349 --> 00:19:39,089 I feel bad for the bottom row. 454 00:19:39,134 --> 00:19:42,006 Stuck down there like the off-brand soda. 455 00:19:42,049 --> 00:19:45,488 Their loved ones have to pop a squat just to say "I miss you." 456 00:19:46,794 --> 00:19:49,536 Think you could save the op-ed for the drive home? 457 00:19:49,578 --> 00:19:51,451 Yeah. Sorry. 458 00:19:51,493 --> 00:19:53,278 Hey. 459 00:19:53,322 --> 00:19:56,891 Here she is, right next to her mother. 460 00:19:56,933 --> 00:19:58,545 I bet they made up, huh? 461 00:19:58,587 --> 00:20:00,199 I hope so. 462 00:20:00,241 --> 00:20:03,941 I'll just put the flowers in the little vase 463 00:20:03,984 --> 00:20:05,638 and let you do your thing. 464 00:20:05,682 --> 00:20:10,296 [quietly]: By the way, he grew up to be a really good man. 465 00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:18,955 Hey, Ashley. 466 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:20,000 It's Adam.