1
00:00:02,502 --> 00:00:04,254
Hey, you guys ever read
the back of the menu here?

2
00:00:04,337 --> 00:00:06,423
It's the story of
the Burgundy Bistro.

3
00:00:06,506 --> 00:00:09,759
Yeah, started in 1959
by Tom Burgundy.

4
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:11,261
Wait, that's somebody's name?

5
00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:12,429
I thought it was
just called that

6
00:00:12,512 --> 00:00:14,764
to remind us
we can't order wine.

7
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:16,808
I thought it was the
color of the awning.

8
00:00:16,891 --> 00:00:18,810
Burgundys all look miserable.

9
00:00:18,893 --> 00:00:20,103
It's an old picture.

10
00:00:20,186 --> 00:00:22,105
They probably had
to stand real still

11
00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:24,774
in order for it to stick.

12
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:26,276
It was 1959.

13
00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:29,779
We had TV, cars,
women wore pants.

14
00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:31,614
Well, the Burgundys all look
like they just smelled

15
00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:33,116
something bad.

16
00:00:33,199 --> 00:00:36,453
In olden times,
people didn't shower for months.

17
00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:38,788
It was 1959.

18
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:41,207
We had astronauts.

19
00:00:41,291 --> 00:00:43,418
Toot, toot!
Make way for the love train.

20
00:00:43,501 --> 00:00:45,086
(chuckles)
Hey, everybody.

21
00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:46,755
Hi.

22
00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:46,755
I'm gonna give you

23
00:00:46,838 --> 00:00:49,048
a very good rating on the app.

24
00:00:49,132 --> 00:00:50,300
Oh, God.

25
00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:51,468
(groans)

26
00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:53,261
And release.

27
00:00:53,344 --> 00:00:54,763
(exhales) Hey, Jill,
can we bring anything tonight...

28
00:00:54,846 --> 00:00:55,930
(gasps)

29
00:00:54,846 --> 00:00:55,930
(Jill shushes)

30
00:00:56,014 --> 00:00:57,849
Not everyone was invited.

31
00:00:57,932 --> 00:00:59,809
Relax. We all know
you guys are having

32
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:02,520
a secret double date
tonight, and no one cares.

33
00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:04,022
I didn't know.

34
00:01:04,105 --> 00:01:05,648
I kind of care.

35
00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:07,025
Okay, well, see you later.

36
00:01:07,108 --> 00:01:09,027
Well, not all of you. Damn it.

37
00:01:10,028 --> 00:01:11,988
It's not that it was a secret,

38
00:01:12,071 --> 00:01:14,199
it's just that we're
in relationships

39
00:01:14,282 --> 00:01:18,578
and I wanted to be sensitive and
not rub it in your lonely faces.

40
00:01:18,661 --> 00:01:20,622
Thank you.

41
00:01:21,664 --> 00:01:23,625
I'm in more than a relationship.

42
00:01:23,708 --> 00:01:25,835
Adam and I are in love
on a whole new level.

43
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:28,880
We're above love,
looking down on it thinking,

44
00:01:28,963 --> 00:01:31,508
"Remember when our love was new
and we thought we had it all?"

45
00:01:31,591 --> 00:01:33,426
Now it's so much deeper.

46
00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:35,094
It's higher and deeper.

47
00:01:35,178 --> 00:01:36,638
And I'm sorry,
I'm going on and on.

48
00:01:36,721 --> 00:01:38,223
Marjorie, how are the cats?

49
00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:41,726
Two of them have
eye infections.

50
00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:43,144
Actually, it's three now.

51
00:01:43,228 --> 00:01:46,815
I warned Simon
to stay away from Garfunkel.

52
00:01:46,898 --> 00:01:49,192
Tammy, can you stop
and get a new tube of ointment?

53
00:01:49,275 --> 00:01:51,694
No can do. Chef Rudy's rolling
out his new food truck tonight,

54
00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:53,071
and he needs me to
check to make sure

55
00:01:53,154 --> 00:01:54,364
it's up and running smoothly.

56
00:01:54,447 --> 00:01:57,867
How do you go from a Michelin
star restaurant to a food truck?

57
00:01:57,951 --> 00:02:01,079
Alcohol, drugs and a
lot of missing veal.

58
00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:02,497
(laughter)

59
00:02:02,580 --> 00:02:04,541
I got to say, though,
it's a pretty sweet truck.

60
00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:06,417
Used to be
Pita Piper's Kabob Wagon,

61
00:02:06,501 --> 00:02:08,837
but I gave her a full rebuild.

62
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:11,047
So, how was it working
with your old boyfriend?

63
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:13,174
You two test out
the shock absorbers?

64
00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:15,385
Oh, no. Chef Rudy's
the kind of mistake

65
00:02:15,468 --> 00:02:16,970
you only make three times.

66
00:02:18,429 --> 00:02:19,597
I set some ground rules.

67
00:02:19,681 --> 00:02:21,391
He's not allowed
to look at me or touch me

68
00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:25,061
or think about me, but
that one's harder to enforce.

69
00:02:25,144 --> 00:02:26,396
(phone chimes)

70
00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:30,233
Aw, it's Adam. He
misses me already.

71
00:02:30,316 --> 00:02:34,654
"Higher and deeper."

72
00:02:36,614 --> 00:02:39,117
Your hate only makes
it more beautiful.

73
00:02:41,119 --> 00:02:43,121
♪ ♪

74
00:03:11,482 --> 00:03:13,234
Toot, toot!

75
00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:15,153
(chuckles)

76
00:03:13,318 --> 00:03:15,153
We thought we'd try this again

77
00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:16,946
around people
who appreciate love.

78
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,072
Hey.

79
00:03:18,156 --> 00:03:19,991
Hey. What up?

80
00:03:20,074 --> 00:03:22,410
I'll tell you what
up: homemade flan.

81
00:03:22,493 --> 00:03:24,787
It's my first time
with this recipe, so be gentle.

82
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:26,414
Oh, babe, it's
gonna be delicious.

83
00:03:26,497 --> 00:03:28,583
Just like you.

84
00:03:26,497 --> 00:03:28,583
Mmm.

85
00:03:28,666 --> 00:03:29,959
Why don't you just
put that over there

86
00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:32,545
next to Andy's big pile
of fat trimmings?

87
00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:35,381
Yeah, you yell at me
if I leave it on,

88
00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:37,383
you yell at me if I trim it off.

89
00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:40,970
I'm gonna get up.

90
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:42,972
Uh-huh.
(clears throat)

91
00:03:43,056 --> 00:03:44,641
So, where can I be of use?

92
00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:46,851
Ah, you can help me
finish setting the table.

93
00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:49,771
Andy just dumped the sterling
in a pile like we're in prison.

94
00:03:49,854 --> 00:03:52,315
(stifled laugh)
Aren't we?

95
00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:54,817
What are you cooking?

96
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:56,736
Oh, I'm gonna reverse-sear
a couple of tri-tips,

97
00:03:56,819 --> 00:03:59,697
and then this itty-bitty
piece of salmon is for Jill.

98
00:03:59,781 --> 00:04:02,659
Hmm. You'd think I'm the one
with high cholesterol.

99
00:04:03,701 --> 00:04:04,953
My cholesterol's fine.

100
00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:06,371
If you say so.

101
00:04:06,454 --> 00:04:08,915
Don't have to. My doctor did.

102
00:04:10,541 --> 00:04:13,670
Yeah, my cholesterol's
getting a little high lately.

103
00:04:13,753 --> 00:04:15,171
See, my cholesterol's
never an issue

104
00:04:15,254 --> 00:04:16,839
'cause I never get it tested.

105
00:04:16,923 --> 00:04:18,675
The real problem
is these tests.

106
00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:20,551
(laughing)

107
00:04:20,635 --> 00:04:23,179
(laughs):
Yeah, tests. Who needs 'em?

108
00:04:24,222 --> 00:04:25,765
(mouths)

109
00:04:25,848 --> 00:04:27,225
(whispers):
Something terrible.

110
00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:31,938
It's so pretty here.

111
00:04:36,901 --> 00:04:38,820
Tammy, put this in your mouth.

112
00:04:38,903 --> 00:04:41,197
We made rules.

113
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:44,867
The food. Uh, tell me if it
resonates with the common man.

114
00:04:46,953 --> 00:04:49,038
I'm not sure. Any chance you
could sneak some bacon in there?

115
00:04:49,122 --> 00:04:51,040
Ugh. Never mind.

116
00:04:51,124 --> 00:04:53,084
I don't know why
I'm doubting myself.

117
00:04:53,167 --> 00:04:56,546
These people are in for
the delight of their tiny lives.

118
00:04:56,629 --> 00:04:59,215
Damn, $24 chicken from a truck?

119
00:04:59,298 --> 00:05:02,468
It's not chicken,
you hillbilly, it's capon.

120
00:05:02,552 --> 00:05:05,722
From a truck in a parking lot
in front of the roller derby.

121
00:05:05,805 --> 00:05:07,932
Hey, buddy, I'm gonna need
two buckets of chicken

122
00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:09,183
and some slaw.

123
00:05:10,226 --> 00:05:12,061
Who's he talking to?

124
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:13,396
That would be you.

125
00:05:13,479 --> 00:05:15,273
Uh, there's no slaw.

126
00:05:15,356 --> 00:05:18,234
This isn't a picnic in Alabammy.

127
00:05:18,317 --> 00:05:20,737
Then screw off, fancy-pants.

128
00:05:21,696 --> 00:05:25,074
He gave me a double dokie.

129
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,909
You just lost
your first customer.

130
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:30,079
Well, I didn't like
his attitude.

131
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,874
These are roller derby people.
It's not gonna get better.

132
00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:36,419
Oh, my God.

133
00:05:36,502 --> 00:05:38,921
There's a whole herd of them.

134
00:05:39,005 --> 00:05:40,590
Lot of tattoos.

135
00:05:40,673 --> 00:05:42,592
You're gonna die.

136
00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:44,427
Uh, Tammy.

137
00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:47,263
It occurs to me
that I might need a middleman.

138
00:05:47,346 --> 00:05:49,599
Uh, someone who speaks carny.

139
00:05:49,682 --> 00:05:51,934
Uh, would you stay and help me?

140
00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:53,853
No. Wait. No.

141
00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:55,980
I'll pay you a hundred dollars.

142
00:05:57,231 --> 00:05:58,441
And let you boss around Paul.

143
00:05:58,524 --> 00:05:59,484
Done.

144
00:05:59,567 --> 00:06:02,403
Paul, move my car.

145
00:06:02,487 --> 00:06:03,571
Chop, chop.

146
00:06:15,625 --> 00:06:17,293
Talk.

147
00:06:17,376 --> 00:06:19,087
You talk.

148
00:06:19,170 --> 00:06:20,755
So, uh, hey, did you
guys happen to catch

149
00:06:20,838 --> 00:06:22,090
the new Tom Hanks movie?

150
00:06:22,173 --> 00:06:25,134
Oh, yeah.
That guy really is every man.

151
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,595
Andy can't stay awake
for a whole movie.

152
00:06:27,678 --> 00:06:28,930
(laughs)

153
00:06:29,013 --> 00:06:30,807
Well, if you didn't want me
to fall asleep,

154
00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:32,266
why would you leave
a weighted blanket

155
00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:33,976
on a recliner
in your home theater?

156
00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:36,479
Well, you don't fall asleep
watching football in there.

157
00:06:36,562 --> 00:06:38,981
Yeah, I don't, because
I can't guess the endings,

158
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,817
unlike the movies you pick.

159
00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:42,652
"She owns a bookstore,
he's in real estate.

160
00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:44,821
Spoiler alert:
they fall in love."

161
00:06:44,904 --> 00:06:46,948
Well, at least they have
happy endings.

162
00:06:47,031 --> 00:06:49,033
If you don't love me,
just say so.

163
00:06:54,789 --> 00:06:56,666
I'm gonna go lose myself
in meat.

164
00:06:59,877 --> 00:07:01,170
(thuds)

165
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:02,839
Tom Hanks? Really?

166
00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:05,508
If we turn on each
other, no one survives.

167
00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:08,136
You're right, I'm sorry.

168
00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:09,470
There should be an app

169
00:07:09,554 --> 00:07:10,805
that tells you
when your friends are fighting,

170
00:07:10,888 --> 00:07:13,141
so you can fake
a dead grandma and stay home.

171
00:07:13,224 --> 00:07:15,017
That's a great idea.

172
00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:16,144
I really love you.

173
00:07:16,227 --> 00:07:17,395
I really love you.

174
00:07:18,437 --> 00:07:19,564
(metallic thud)

175
00:07:20,565 --> 00:07:22,233
Okay, calm down.

176
00:07:22,316 --> 00:07:24,235
The steak can sense your anger.

177
00:07:26,237 --> 00:07:28,781
If we leave now, they might
not remember we were here.

178
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:31,701
No, no, no.

179
00:07:31,784 --> 00:07:33,703
Jill's my friend
and she needs my help.

180
00:07:33,786 --> 00:07:36,414
God put me here
for a reason.

181
00:07:38,583 --> 00:07:41,586
It's a big house. Could
be hours till I find her.

182
00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:48,176
Yes, I know, sir.
It's coming right up, okay?

183
00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:50,553
Just be a few more minutes.
Thank you for your patience.

184
00:07:50,636 --> 00:07:53,055
I appreciate it, all right?

185
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:55,224
I see you're wearing your beret
at a saucy angle.

186
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:56,893
Are you trying
to send a message?

187
00:07:56,976 --> 00:07:59,187
Eyes on the chicken.

188
00:07:59,270 --> 00:08:02,273
Where's my food? We're
missing the dirt bike raffle.

189
00:08:02,356 --> 00:08:03,566
It's coming right up.

190
00:08:03,649 --> 00:08:04,901
I need five "coke vans"
and I need 'em now.

191
00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:06,235
Heard.

192
00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:06,235
What's our ETA?

193
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,279
I don't know.
I'm still on number one.

194
00:08:08,362 --> 00:08:09,906
What?

195
00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,115
Well, it's opening night.

196
00:08:11,199 --> 00:08:13,242
There might be
food critics out there.

197
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:15,203
I'm sorry, he's
a perfectionist.

198
00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:18,372
Here, enjoy a complimentary
cup of cola from Paris.

199
00:08:18,456 --> 00:08:19,916
This is warm.

200
00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:22,043
That's how they drink
it in France. Oh, my God.

201
00:08:22,126 --> 00:08:24,378
Am I the only one
who summered in Provence?

202
00:08:24,462 --> 00:08:26,380
Order up.

203
00:08:26,464 --> 00:08:28,090
Finally.

204
00:08:31,969 --> 00:08:34,597
That'll be $24.

205
00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:36,224
(Jill crying)

206
00:08:36,307 --> 00:08:37,516
Jill?

207
00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,977
JILL:
Over here.

208
00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:42,563
One more time.

209
00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:42,563
Here.

210
00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:45,274
Here.

211
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:48,110
There you are.
What's going on?

212
00:08:48,194 --> 00:08:51,072
Andy and I are gonna break up,
and it's all your fault.

213
00:08:51,155 --> 00:08:53,241
Hang on,
I don't want you to think

214
00:08:53,324 --> 00:08:55,076
I'm not taking you seriously.

215
00:08:57,245 --> 00:08:58,913
Okay, now go.

216
00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:08,673
After seeing you and Adam
at the Bistro so in love,

217
00:09:08,756 --> 00:09:12,260
I got to thinking I want
Andy and I to have that, too.

218
00:09:12,343 --> 00:09:13,928
I mean, sure,

219
00:09:14,011 --> 00:09:15,805
we're good, but I want
to go to that higher ground

220
00:09:15,888 --> 00:09:17,139
you were talking about.

221
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:19,100
I want to get this show
on the road.

222
00:09:19,183 --> 00:09:20,768
There's nothing wrong with that.

223
00:09:20,851 --> 00:09:22,645
That's what I thought.

224
00:09:22,728 --> 00:09:24,981
So I came home,
marched right into the bathroom,

225
00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:27,608
told Andy I wanted
to deepen our relationship,

226
00:09:27,692 --> 00:09:29,443
and you know what he said?

227
00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:31,612
"Can I finish my shower first?"

228
00:09:32,613 --> 00:09:33,906
Can you believe that?

229
00:09:36,075 --> 00:09:39,120
So I flushed the toilet on him,
grabbed all the towels and left.

230
00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:41,122
(exhales)

231
00:09:41,205 --> 00:09:44,000
Why am I even
in this relationship?

232
00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:47,044
I mean, despite the efforts
of some pretty good doctors,

233
00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:49,213
I am not getting any younger.

234
00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:51,007
Here's the thing:

235
00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:53,301
the Bonnie-Adam journey
to perfection

236
00:09:53,384 --> 00:09:57,179
starts in a little town
I call Communication.

237
00:09:57,263 --> 00:09:59,890
Well, how can I communicate
if he won't talk?

238
00:09:59,974 --> 00:10:01,851
Well, first you have to stop off
at a quaint little hamlet

239
00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:04,103
I call Patience.

240
00:10:04,186 --> 00:10:05,855
Adam was the same way.

241
00:10:05,938 --> 00:10:08,566
He'd only open up to me after
watching a movie about sports

242
00:10:08,649 --> 00:10:10,318
or when someone famous died.

243
00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:13,195
You know, someone they made
a sports movie about.

244
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,699
After all these years
and all these relationships,

245
00:10:16,782 --> 00:10:19,076
you'd think I'd understand men
by now.

246
00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,536
Don't beat yourself up.

247
00:10:20,620 --> 00:10:22,163
How are you supposed
to understand the people

248
00:10:22,246 --> 00:10:24,999
who brought us war
and magic shows?

249
00:10:25,082 --> 00:10:26,667
I mean, they don't even
understand themselves.

250
00:10:26,751 --> 00:10:29,837
I think that's why
they overexplain everything.

251
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,380
Oh, God.

252
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:33,174
I asked Andy to turn up the heat

253
00:10:33,257 --> 00:10:35,760
and he told me how to build
a damn thermostat.

254
00:10:35,843 --> 00:10:37,553
I asked Adam
to turn down the heat

255
00:10:37,636 --> 00:10:39,513
and he explained
menopause to me.

256
00:10:41,098 --> 00:10:44,352
Sometimes with Bonnie,
I say, "Okay, let's talk,"

257
00:10:44,435 --> 00:10:46,395
and she's off to the races.

258
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:49,565
I just nod my head
until she punches herself out.

259
00:10:49,649 --> 00:10:50,733
And that works?

260
00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:52,360
(scoffs):
Yeah, it does.

261
00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:53,569
If I sit in the right place,

262
00:10:53,652 --> 00:10:55,488
I can watch TV
over her shoulder.

263
00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:58,949
Jill demands eye contact.

264
00:10:59,033 --> 00:11:00,785
You should hear some
of the things she says.

265
00:11:00,868 --> 00:11:02,912
I guarantee you
I've heard worse.

266
00:11:02,995 --> 00:11:05,081
Oh, really?

267
00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:07,208
You want to play
that game with me?

268
00:11:07,291 --> 00:11:09,919
"We can't watch Shark Tank
anymore because you think

269
00:11:10,002 --> 00:11:12,254
all my inventions are stupid."

270
00:11:12,338 --> 00:11:15,424
"I know it's 3:00 in the
morning and you're sound asleep,

271
00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:17,426
but why do you hate my feet?"

272
00:11:17,510 --> 00:11:19,095
(chuckles)

273
00:11:19,178 --> 00:11:21,722
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That fight greeted the dawn.

274
00:11:21,806 --> 00:11:23,557
Okay, okay.

275
00:11:23,641 --> 00:11:25,768
"There's a different brand
of women's razor

276
00:11:25,851 --> 00:11:27,061
"in the shower.

277
00:11:27,144 --> 00:11:28,604
Who are you sleeping with?"

278
00:11:28,687 --> 00:11:30,981
Oh, my God, my knees
just buckled.

279
00:11:31,065 --> 00:11:32,108
What'd you say?

280
00:11:32,191 --> 00:11:34,652
I said I'm not sleeping
with anyone, but if I were,

281
00:11:34,735 --> 00:11:37,571
she'd be smart enough
to shave her legs at her place.

282
00:11:37,655 --> 00:11:39,448
To which Bonnie replied,
"Oh, so now you don't think

283
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,075
I'm smart enough?"

284
00:11:41,158 --> 00:11:44,453
I mean,
that-that-that's terrifying.

285
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:47,206
I also realized that I've been
buying women's razors

286
00:11:47,289 --> 00:11:48,958
this whole time.

287
00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:53,421
Order up.

288
00:11:53,504 --> 00:11:56,424
Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no.
It's not break time.

289
00:11:56,507 --> 00:11:57,633
I can't go on.

290
00:11:57,716 --> 00:11:58,634
No, you're not allowed
to say that

291
00:11:58,717 --> 00:11:59,927
until you've actually started.

292
00:12:00,010 --> 00:12:00,928
How did this happen?

293
00:12:01,011 --> 00:12:02,304
What have I done with my life?

294
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:03,973
Ah, boy.

295
00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:05,599
I traveled the world

296
00:12:05,683 --> 00:12:07,643
with nothing but my knives
and a dream.

297
00:12:07,726 --> 00:12:10,479
I trained under
the great chefs of Europe,

298
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:13,149
devoted years to my artistry,
and for what?

299
00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:17,027
To end up in a parking lot
serving ruffians in tank tops

300
00:12:17,111 --> 00:12:19,989
and pants that unzip
into shorts.

301
00:12:20,072 --> 00:12:23,617
You know, those people passed
quite a few vending machines

302
00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:25,995
to get to you, all because
something inside them said

303
00:12:26,078 --> 00:12:27,663
there's more to life
than Doritos.

304
00:12:27,746 --> 00:12:28,998
Mm. But is there?

305
00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:30,958
Yes! Your amazing chicken thing.

306
00:12:31,041 --> 00:12:33,252
Mm, I'm already in
a tiny metal coffin.

307
00:12:33,335 --> 00:12:35,004
Just close the lid
on your way out.

308
00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:37,715
Oh, cut the pity party.
You think this truck is small?

309
00:12:37,798 --> 00:12:40,009
Try seven years
in an eight-by-ten cell

310
00:12:40,092 --> 00:12:41,510
with a chronic masturbator.

311
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:43,846
I did not survive that
to watch you give up.

312
00:12:43,929 --> 00:12:47,183
Ugh. This is classic
French cuisine.

313
00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:50,019
Giving up is what the French do.

314
00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:52,730
You know, the thing is,

315
00:12:52,813 --> 00:12:54,732
I've been in a hot patrol car
for ten hours.

316
00:12:54,815 --> 00:12:58,319
I mean, an 84-year-old woman
spit on me today.

317
00:12:58,402 --> 00:13:00,738
When I get home, I just want
to take a shower and relax.

318
00:13:00,821 --> 00:13:02,907
I don't want to talk
about my feelings.

319
00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:05,326
Especially when I'm
not wearing pants.

320
00:13:05,409 --> 00:13:06,994
I hear you.

321
00:13:07,077 --> 00:13:09,497
You know, after my divorce
I told myself

322
00:13:09,580 --> 00:13:11,248
I'm not gonna fall in love,

323
00:13:11,332 --> 00:13:13,167
I'm not gonna fall in love,
and what did I do?

324
00:13:13,250 --> 00:13:14,376
You fell in love.

325
00:13:14,460 --> 00:13:16,378
I did the same thing,
my friend.

326
00:13:16,462 --> 00:13:17,838
What's wrong with us?

327
00:13:17,922 --> 00:13:19,715
We can't say no
to a challenge.

328
00:13:19,798 --> 00:13:22,051
That's why we grill tri-tip.

329
00:13:24,678 --> 00:13:26,388
Maybe we should think
about our relationships

330
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:27,389
the same way.

331
00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:29,850
Continue.

332
00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:33,395
You know, season it with care.

333
00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:36,941
Cook low and slow, always
cut against the grain.

334
00:13:37,024 --> 00:13:40,444
Sometimes just let it rest.

335
00:13:41,946 --> 00:13:44,782
Yeah, I got everything except
cutting against the grain.

336
00:13:44,865 --> 00:13:47,952
I don't know, maybe
I'm just hungry.

337
00:13:51,288 --> 00:13:52,456
You know what I think
you're afraid of?

338
00:13:52,540 --> 00:13:54,041
My mother.

339
00:13:54,124 --> 00:13:56,043
Success.

340
00:13:56,126 --> 00:13:57,753
I mean, restaurants are so over.

341
00:13:57,836 --> 00:14:00,256
Trucks are the future.
Food on the go.

342
00:14:00,339 --> 00:14:03,717
And I see a fleet
of Coq au Van trucks

343
00:14:03,801 --> 00:14:05,928
outside every
convention center...

344
00:14:06,011 --> 00:14:08,097
and Masonic Temple.

345
00:14:08,180 --> 00:14:09,765
You do?

346
00:14:09,848 --> 00:14:14,436
Yes! And it all starts
with that one plate of chicken.

347
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:16,063
We've just got to find
a faster way

348
00:14:16,146 --> 00:14:17,481
to get it out the window.

349
00:14:16,146 --> 00:14:17,481
Yes.

350
00:14:17,565 --> 00:14:19,233
We could throw it at them.

351
00:14:19,316 --> 00:14:22,111
This is street food.
You eat it standing up.

352
00:14:22,194 --> 00:14:24,196
It needs to come with
a handle, like a stick

353
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:25,614
or a taco shell.

354
00:14:25,698 --> 00:14:27,783
Hell, I'd settle for
a damn ice cream cone.

355
00:14:27,866 --> 00:14:29,952
(gasps):
Our pita bread.

356
00:14:30,035 --> 00:14:31,120
Paul, you're my hero.

357
00:14:31,203 --> 00:14:33,956
What are you planning
on doing with that?

358
00:14:31,203 --> 00:14:33,956
Saving your ass.

359
00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:36,542
And I'm gonna squirt mayo
on it, so look away.

360
00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:40,129
Fine, but let's call it aioli.

361
00:14:43,048 --> 00:14:45,467
This is the best tri-tip
I've ever had in my life.

362
00:14:45,551 --> 00:14:49,555
That, my friend, is the magic
of the reverse sear.

363
00:14:49,638 --> 00:14:51,473
You took a photo
of it, right?

364
00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:53,809
Oh, yeah. I already got
three likes on Instagram.

365
00:14:53,892 --> 00:14:54,852
I should follow you.

366
00:14:54,935 --> 00:14:58,856
It's RandyAndyBeefKing.

367
00:14:58,939 --> 00:15:01,483
Those bastards are
already eating.

368
00:15:01,567 --> 00:15:02,860
No, we're here for peace.

369
00:15:02,943 --> 00:15:04,194
Incoming.

370
00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:06,488
Hey.

371
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:09,283
Got your salmon here.

372
00:15:09,366 --> 00:15:11,243
I left it on the grill a little
longer than I expected,

373
00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:14,246
but I promise it's still fish
under the black part.

374
00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:16,165
Thank you.

375
00:15:16,248 --> 00:15:20,336
Now, Jill, why don't you tell
Andy what you've been feeling?

376
00:15:20,419 --> 00:15:22,379
Okay.

377
00:15:22,463 --> 00:15:23,839
Dude, stop eating.

378
00:15:23,922 --> 00:15:26,800
Oh. Thank you.

379
00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:29,053
When I came into the bathroom
this afternoon,

380
00:15:29,136 --> 00:15:31,388
I was just trying to be
emotionally honest with you,

381
00:15:31,472 --> 00:15:33,057
and you got all cranky-pants.

382
00:15:33,140 --> 00:15:36,727
Look, Jill, I'm a cop, okay?
At the end of the day...

383
00:15:36,810 --> 00:15:37,853
Low and slow.

384
00:15:39,647 --> 00:15:42,483
Um, yeah, yeah, no, I-I--

385
00:15:42,566 --> 00:15:45,694
You're right, I could have been
much more receptive.

386
00:15:47,988 --> 00:15:51,200
I love it when you
open up to me.

387
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:58,499
Jill, tell Andy what
you need from him.

388
00:15:58,582 --> 00:16:01,585
I need you to be
honest with me.

389
00:16:01,669 --> 00:16:03,587
Good or bad.

390
00:16:05,130 --> 00:16:06,465
(whispers):
Nice job.

391
00:16:08,300 --> 00:16:09,468
Andy?

392
00:16:10,969 --> 00:16:13,138
What do you think
about what Jill just said?

393
00:16:15,307 --> 00:16:16,475
It's okay.

394
00:16:17,976 --> 00:16:20,229
Well, got to admit
I'm a little ashamed

395
00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:21,939
of the job I did on your fish.

396
00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:27,194
Not gonna lie,
I was cooking angry.

397
00:16:27,277 --> 00:16:28,737
I-I saw the fish as you,

398
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:31,365
and I let it char
on direct heat.

399
00:16:31,448 --> 00:16:32,616
I'm better than that.

400
00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:37,413
But I, I hear you, and
I know what you want.

401
00:16:37,496 --> 00:16:39,206
You want a deeper
relationship,

402
00:16:39,289 --> 00:16:41,750
and I'm all for that.

403
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,085
Really?

404
00:16:43,168 --> 00:16:45,045
Of course. I love you.

405
00:16:45,129 --> 00:16:47,965
I love you, too.

406
00:16:48,048 --> 00:16:50,426
And I know I got
to pick my spots.

407
00:16:50,509 --> 00:16:53,595
There's times when you're
not ready to talk.

408
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:56,432
But I'm like a tiny
little terrier.

409
00:16:56,515 --> 00:16:58,434
I want what I want
when I want it.

410
00:16:58,517 --> 00:17:00,102
And that's...

411
00:17:00,185 --> 00:17:01,603
(grunts)

412
00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:03,605
No, no.

413
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:04,606
Okay.

414
00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:06,942
Could I have a piece
of your steak?

415
00:17:07,025 --> 00:17:08,986
(chuckles):
Aw, of course, babe.

416
00:17:09,069 --> 00:17:10,404
You can have the whole thing.

417
00:17:10,487 --> 00:17:12,781
My cholesterol's a
little high anyway.

418
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:15,117
Look at that.

419
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:16,785
A couple of minutes
with Dr. Bonnie,

420
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:18,912
and the lovebirds are
back on the same perch.

421
00:17:20,581 --> 00:17:22,750
There is no doubt I should
take the shortest possible path

422
00:17:22,833 --> 00:17:24,793
to being an actual
licensed therapist.

423
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:27,129
Well, actually, this guy
here sat me down...

424
00:17:27,212 --> 00:17:29,465
Season with care.
Way to go, babe.

425
00:17:29,548 --> 00:17:31,884
You really do know people.

426
00:17:31,967 --> 00:17:34,887
And you wanted to
sneak out and go home.

427
00:17:41,685 --> 00:17:42,978
I never thought I'd say this,

428
00:17:43,061 --> 00:17:44,980
but somehow the pita
pulls it all together.

429
00:17:45,063 --> 00:17:46,982
Told you.

430
00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,776
Thank you, Tammy.

431
00:17:48,859 --> 00:17:50,986
I don't think I could have
survived my maiden voyage

432
00:17:51,069 --> 00:17:51,987
without my favorite maiden.

433
00:17:52,070 --> 00:17:54,656
Oh, that's okay. I mean,
I cleaned up on tips.

434
00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:56,492
Plus, I didn't have
to watch Marjorie

435
00:17:56,575 --> 00:17:58,994
put ointment in
her cat's eye.

436
00:17:59,077 --> 00:18:01,830
Do you really think that I could
have a fleet of these trucks?

437
00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:03,832
Oh, yeah. But I
want a percentage.

438
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:04,833
Done.

439
00:18:03,916 --> 00:18:04,833
(chuckles)

440
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,043
Look at us.

441
00:18:06,126 --> 00:18:08,504
Despite our past, we learned
that we could work together

442
00:18:08,587 --> 00:18:12,174
and, uh, keep things
strictly professional.

443
00:18:12,257 --> 00:18:14,510
You have a little
mayo on your lip.

444
00:18:14,593 --> 00:18:17,012
It's aioli.

445
00:18:19,973 --> 00:18:21,350
(thumping)

446
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:33,195
(sighs)
I got to say,

447
00:18:33,278 --> 00:18:35,531
I am really impressed
with myself.

448
00:18:35,614 --> 00:18:37,991
I mean, we walked into
the middle of a breakup,

449
00:18:38,075 --> 00:18:39,868
and I turned it
into a breakthrough.

450
00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:41,078
(chuckles)

451
00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:41,078
Yeah.

452
00:18:41,161 --> 00:18:44,373
I kid, but I really should
write a book on relationships.

453
00:18:44,456 --> 00:18:48,710
Do the speaker's circuit,
go on Sally Jessy Raphael.

454
00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:51,046
Which, of course, would
turn into my own talk show.

455
00:18:51,129 --> 00:18:53,382
Divorce lawyers
will hate me,

456
00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:56,051
but the world
will love me.

457
00:18:56,134 --> 00:18:58,387
Hold my hand.

458
00:18:58,470 --> 00:19:01,515
This. This is what
I'm talking about!

459
00:19:01,598 --> 00:19:03,600
(both chuckle)

460
00:19:05,435 --> 00:19:07,062
Oh. It's Jill.

461
00:19:07,145 --> 00:19:08,981
Safety first.

462
00:19:10,148 --> 00:19:12,234
"Andy just told me
he wants a..."

463
00:19:12,317 --> 00:19:13,777
Oh.

464
00:19:13,861 --> 00:19:15,904
Wants a what?

465
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:18,699
A-Andy wants a break from her.

466
00:19:19,616 --> 00:19:21,493
What did you do?

467
00:19:21,577 --> 00:19:22,911
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

468
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:24,121
and WARNER BROS. TELEVISION

469
00:19:24,204 --> 00:19:25,289
Captioned by
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