1
00:00:04,961 --> 00:00:07,070
Hey. Oh, hey.

2
00:00:07,094 --> 00:00:11,944
Forgive me if this comes off as
rude, but who the hell are you?

3
00:00:11,968 --> 00:00:14,251
I'm Kyle. I go to school
with Shannon.

4
00:00:14,275 --> 00:00:15,556
Did you sleep here?

5
00:00:15,580 --> 00:00:17,843
Yeah. Want some eggs?

6
00:00:19,149 --> 00:00:22,805
Hey, babe, I was thinking...

7
00:00:25,112 --> 00:00:27,612
What is that?

8
00:00:27,636 --> 00:00:30,465
That is a Kyle.
It spent the night.

9
00:00:32,467 --> 00:00:35,054
It spent the night?

10
00:00:35,078 --> 00:00:37,143
Want some eggs?

11
00:00:37,167 --> 00:00:40,431
Nobody wants your
runny-ass eggs, man.

12
00:00:42,129 --> 00:00:43,889
Morning. Oh, hey, Kyle.

13
00:00:43,913 --> 00:00:45,630
What are you still doing here?

14
00:00:45,654 --> 00:00:47,110
Thought you left.

15
00:00:47,134 --> 00:00:49,547
I got hungry.
I made you some eggs.Aw.

16
00:00:49,571 --> 00:00:51,984
I'll see you at school tomorrow.

17
00:00:52,008 --> 00:00:53,159
Bye.

18
00:00:53,183 --> 00:00:55,118
Bye.

19
00:00:55,142 --> 00:00:57,057
How cute is he?!

20
00:00:59,581 --> 00:01:01,298
He made me eggs!
He made me eggs!

21
00:01:01,322 --> 00:01:03,063
He made me eggs!

22
00:01:04,281 --> 00:01:06,259
I don't care how cute he is...

23
00:01:06,283 --> 00:01:09,262
And the boy is cute... she
cannot have guys sleep over.

24
00:01:09,286 --> 00:01:12,091
I know, but I can't
just tell her that.

25
00:01:12,115 --> 00:01:13,571
Why not?
For one,

26
00:01:13,595 --> 00:01:16,748
when I was her age,
I had guys sleep over

27
00:01:16,772 --> 00:01:19,601
all... occasionally.

28
00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:22,667
The problem is

29
00:01:22,691 --> 00:01:24,973
I can't tell Shannon what to do
because I'm her sister,

30
00:01:24,997 --> 00:01:26,584
not her mom.

31
00:01:26,608 --> 00:01:28,368
But your sister
is living with us,

32
00:01:28,392 --> 00:01:31,371
and if she's gonna stay here,
she has to play by our rules.

33
00:01:31,395 --> 00:01:32,851
Yeah, but she doesn't
have to stay here.

34
00:01:32,875 --> 00:01:34,505
If we're too strict with her,

35
00:01:34,529 --> 00:01:37,160
she might move out and go back
to my dad's or God knows where.

36
00:01:37,184 --> 00:01:39,988
Which we...
Don't want.

37
00:01:40,012 --> 00:01:42,165
Don't want.

38
00:01:42,189 --> 00:01:43,905
But we do have to talk to her.

39
00:01:43,929 --> 00:01:45,690
Absolutely. [SIGHS]

40
00:01:45,714 --> 00:01:48,823
But look on the bright side:
After living with my sister,

41
00:01:48,847 --> 00:01:51,043
our kids are gonna
seem like a breeze.

42
00:01:51,067 --> 00:01:53,480
Our kids? We can barely
deal with Shannon.

43
00:01:53,504 --> 00:01:55,613
Th-There's no way I can imagine
kids of our own.

44
00:01:55,637 --> 00:01:57,005
Okay, Nick, I got it.

45
00:01:57,029 --> 00:01:58,703
I'm just saying. Look,

46
00:01:58,727 --> 00:02:00,618
we'll have kids
in a few years. Right?

47
00:02:00,642 --> 00:02:01,923
After Shannon goes to college,

48
00:02:01,947 --> 00:02:04,709
or... jail.

49
00:02:04,733 --> 00:02:06,232
Besides,

50
00:02:06,256 --> 00:02:10,410
I am too young for this
to turn into a dad bod.

51
00:02:10,434 --> 00:02:15,047
Yeah, because your body is
the one that will take the hit.

52
00:02:17,833 --> 00:02:19,835
[MUSIC PLAYING]

53
00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:26,992
This is a sensitive
conversation, Nick,

54
00:02:27,016 --> 00:02:28,646
so just let me handle it.

55
00:02:28,670 --> 00:02:31,344
Clem, she's your sister; There's
no way I'm getting involved.

56
00:02:31,368 --> 00:02:34,608
I'm gonna nod silently and agree
with everything you say.

57
00:02:34,632 --> 00:02:35,914
Perfect.

58
00:02:35,938 --> 00:02:37,785
Shannon?

59
00:02:37,809 --> 00:02:39,222
'Sup?

60
00:02:39,246 --> 00:02:41,944
You cannot have guys
sleep over here!

61
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,792
Nick!

62
00:02:44,816 --> 00:02:47,689
And the silent nodding
starts now.

63
00:02:49,256 --> 00:02:51,625
Look, I know Nick can be
a little old-fashioned,

64
00:02:51,649 --> 00:02:53,105
but I agree with him.

65
00:02:53,129 --> 00:02:54,846
I'm not happy that Kyle
slept over either.

66
00:02:54,870 --> 00:02:58,241
Oh, my God!
We didn't even do anything.

67
00:02:58,265 --> 00:03:00,156
He got drunk and passed out,

68
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:02,810
so I bought a bunch of stuff
on his Amazon account.

69
00:03:02,834 --> 00:03:04,836
I got you guys a new spatula.

70
00:03:06,273 --> 00:03:07,859
Happy?

71
00:03:07,883 --> 00:03:10,166
Not even a little bit. I mean, we did
need a new spatula.

72
00:03:10,190 --> 00:03:13,256
Look, Kyle isn't just
some rando.

73
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:14,909
I actually really like this guy.

74
00:03:14,933 --> 00:03:16,389
He was the first person

75
00:03:16,413 --> 00:03:18,261
to be nice to me
at my new school.

76
00:03:18,285 --> 00:03:20,350
Plus, he's handsome,
he's good-looking,

77
00:03:20,374 --> 00:03:23,266
and he's, like, really hot.

78
00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:26,573
Look, Shannon,
I worry about you.

79
00:03:26,597 --> 00:03:28,009
And having guys sleep over,

80
00:03:28,033 --> 00:03:29,489
it's just asking for trouble.

81
00:03:29,513 --> 00:03:32,188
When my mom had me,
she was way too young,

82
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:33,885
and it ruined her life.

83
00:03:33,909 --> 00:03:36,433
What makes you think that? She told me.

84
00:03:38,305 --> 00:03:40,587
Well, look, I'm not gonna
get pregnant, okay?

85
00:03:40,611 --> 00:03:42,198
[LAUGHS]
I'm not an idiot.

86
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:46,550
Would an idiot be getting
almost a "C" in Algebra?

87
00:03:46,574 --> 00:03:49,335
What do you mean "almost"?
You're getting a "D" in Algebra?

88
00:03:49,359 --> 00:03:50,926
Almost.

89
00:03:52,362 --> 00:03:54,645
I'm sorry, but it feels like
you guys are having a problem

90
00:03:54,669 --> 00:03:56,299
with everything I do
since I moved in.

91
00:03:56,323 --> 00:03:58,039
That's not true.

92
00:03:58,063 --> 00:04:00,128
I found my favorite eyeliner
in your underwear drawer,

93
00:04:00,152 --> 00:04:01,826
and I didn't say a thing.

94
00:04:01,850 --> 00:04:03,306
You were looking
through my drawers?

95
00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:04,437
What? No.

96
00:04:04,461 --> 00:04:06,874
No, that would be... No.

97
00:04:06,898 --> 00:04:08,354
I was putting away your laundry.

98
00:04:08,378 --> 00:04:10,313
Yeah, you don't
put away my laundry.

99
00:04:10,337 --> 00:04:11,618
You leave it on the floor,

100
00:04:11,642 --> 00:04:14,317
hoping I'll get the message,
but I never do.

101
00:04:14,341 --> 00:04:18,364
Look, I really appreciate you
guys letting me live here. I do.

102
00:04:18,388 --> 00:04:21,149
[CHUCKLES]
But I also need my privacy.

103
00:04:21,173 --> 00:04:23,326
And I don't think
that's such an insane request.

104
00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:26,111
Fine. You want privacy?

105
00:04:26,135 --> 00:04:28,983
You promise no more guys
sleeping over,

106
00:04:29,007 --> 00:04:32,335
I'll promise
no more snooping. Deal?

107
00:04:32,359 --> 00:04:36,014
Fine. You got yourself a deal.

108
00:04:38,016 --> 00:04:40,473
Oh, my God, no. Dude,
of course no one's seen it.

109
00:04:40,497 --> 00:04:41,822
Yeah, it's in my room.

110
00:04:41,846 --> 00:04:43,215
Oh, it's in my drawer.

111
00:04:43,239 --> 00:04:44,347
[WHISPERS]
What's in her drawer?

112
00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:46,610
Oh. Hi.

113
00:04:46,634 --> 00:04:48,655
BOTH: Hi.

114
00:04:48,679 --> 00:04:50,309
Thought you guys went to work.

115
00:04:50,333 --> 00:04:52,398
Still here.
Not yet.

116
00:04:52,422 --> 00:04:56,315
Okay. Well...

117
00:04:56,339 --> 00:04:58,317
I'm gonna go to school. Bye.

118
00:04:58,341 --> 00:05:00,537
Have a good day.

119
00:05:00,561 --> 00:05:02,650
Oh, my God, you have no idea...

120
00:05:05,522 --> 00:05:07,326
Don't do it, Clem.

121
00:05:07,350 --> 00:05:08,545
Do what, Nick?

122
00:05:08,569 --> 00:05:09,981
Snoop in her room.
[SIGHS]

123
00:05:10,005 --> 00:05:11,896
Look, the way I was raised,
when you make a deal,

124
00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:13,114
you stick by it.

125
00:05:13,138 --> 00:05:14,507
So if you want
Shannon to respect

126
00:05:14,531 --> 00:05:16,248
the rules, you have to
respect them, too.

127
00:05:16,272 --> 00:05:19,033
[SIGHS] Why do you have to be
so damn ethical?

128
00:05:19,057 --> 00:05:21,079
Oh, come on, you know
it gets you all hot

129
00:05:21,103 --> 00:05:23,168
when your boy's all ethical.

130
00:05:23,192 --> 00:05:26,127
You're right, it kind of does.[LAUGHS]

131
00:05:26,151 --> 00:05:28,913
See you tonight.
Okay.

132
00:05:28,937 --> 00:05:31,635
[SIGHS]

133
00:05:37,075 --> 00:05:39,619
Ah, don't do it.
What?

134
00:05:39,643 --> 00:05:41,166
[CHUCKLES] I wasn't.

135
00:05:43,038 --> 00:05:44,842
[SIGHS]

136
00:05:44,866 --> 00:05:48,411
You hid a pregnancy test in
your room to catch her snooping?

137
00:05:48,435 --> 00:05:49,934
Yup.

138
00:05:49,958 --> 00:05:52,589
And the best part is,
when Clem finds it,

139
00:05:52,613 --> 00:05:54,330
it'll prove she broke our deal,

140
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:59,073
which means I can have Kyle
sleep over anytime I want.

141
00:05:59,097 --> 00:06:02,076
So wait, how'd you get
a positive pregnancy test?

142
00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:04,165
Mm. Okay, so first thing
I did was I asked

143
00:06:04,189 --> 00:06:06,167
this pregnant girl in my
homeroom, right, for some pee...

144
00:06:06,191 --> 00:06:08,996
Mm-hmm... but she was like, "Go away."

145
00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:10,824
BOTH: Rude.

146
00:06:10,848 --> 00:06:12,217
So then I googled it... Yeah.

147
00:06:12,241 --> 00:06:13,610
...and, what do you know,

148
00:06:13,634 --> 00:06:17,135
pouring Coke on a pregnancy test
turns it positive.

149
00:06:17,159 --> 00:06:19,529
[SCOFFS] And you're sure
your sister's gonna find it?

150
00:06:19,553 --> 00:06:22,662
After the phone call I faked
this morning, definitely.

151
00:06:22,686 --> 00:06:24,577
This is such a great idea.

152
00:06:24,601 --> 00:06:26,362
I might pull it
on my stupid stepmom.

153
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:28,625
Dude, dude, you should get
two positive pregnancy tests

154
00:06:28,649 --> 00:06:30,104
for her to find... Yeah.

155
00:06:30,128 --> 00:06:33,654
...and then she'll think
you're having twins.

156
00:06:36,308 --> 00:06:38,485
[SIGHS]
Oh, dear God.

157
00:06:43,490 --> 00:06:45,143
Okay.

158
00:06:47,145 --> 00:06:49,689
Come on, Shannon.

159
00:06:49,713 --> 00:06:51,367
[SIGHS]

160
00:06:52,847 --> 00:06:54,849
[GROANS]

161
00:06:58,722 --> 00:07:00,376
Oh, God, no.

162
00:07:03,248 --> 00:07:06,706
Please don't be a plus.
Please don't be a plus.

163
00:07:06,730 --> 00:07:09,840
Please don't be a plus.

164
00:07:09,864 --> 00:07:11,692
[SCREAMING]

165
00:07:19,134 --> 00:07:21,068
Hey, sweetie.

166
00:07:21,092 --> 00:07:22,679
Ben, thank you
so much for coming.

167
00:07:22,703 --> 00:07:24,985
Nick is teaching, and I didn't
know who else to call.

168
00:07:25,009 --> 00:07:27,510
Well, it better be important.
I had to get another instructor

169
00:07:27,534 --> 00:07:30,121
to cover my SoulCycle
class for this.

170
00:07:30,145 --> 00:07:32,471
Do you have any idea how
upset people are gonna be

171
00:07:32,495 --> 00:07:35,779
when they walk in
and see Michelle?

172
00:07:35,803 --> 00:07:38,129
What's wrong with Michelle?

173
00:07:38,153 --> 00:07:39,652
Everything!

174
00:07:39,676 --> 00:07:40,697
[EXHALES]

175
00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:42,481
So what's going on?

176
00:07:42,505 --> 00:07:45,310
My sister is pregnant.

177
00:07:45,334 --> 00:07:47,355
What?

178
00:07:47,379 --> 00:07:49,793
Shannon is pregnant.

179
00:07:49,817 --> 00:07:53,274
Girl, I am shocked.

180
00:07:53,298 --> 00:07:56,408
No, I'm not. No, it's actually
an incredibly easy buy.

181
00:07:56,432 --> 00:07:57,931
Wait, when did she tell you?

182
00:07:57,955 --> 00:07:59,716
She didn't.
I was snooping in her room...

183
00:07:59,740 --> 00:08:02,109
Even though I made a deal
with her that I wouldn't...

184
00:08:02,133 --> 00:08:04,547
And I found the pregnancy test
in one of her drawers,

185
00:08:04,571 --> 00:08:06,113
and now I don't know what to do.

186
00:08:06,137 --> 00:08:08,420
You know, this whole
thing reminds me

187
00:08:08,444 --> 00:08:10,402
of when my parents
found out I was gay.

188
00:08:11,621 --> 00:08:13,469
Mom was hanging
clothes in my closet

189
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:17,995
and found a DVD of
HUNG JURY: 12 Man-gry Men.

190
00:08:18,019 --> 00:08:20,258
And then they told you
that they knew?

191
00:08:20,282 --> 00:08:21,781
Are you kidding?
My parents were amazing.

192
00:08:21,805 --> 00:08:24,175
They didn't say a thing.
They just went out of their way

193
00:08:24,199 --> 00:08:26,656
to let me know that they were
there for me, no matter what.

194
00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:27,874
No judgment.

195
00:08:27,898 --> 00:08:30,181
So you're saying
that's what I should do

196
00:08:30,205 --> 00:08:32,444
so that Shannon will tell me
about the pregnancy?

197
00:08:32,468 --> 00:08:36,404
Actually, I was just telling
a story about myself.

198
00:08:36,428 --> 00:08:40,321
All right, so I am going
to make sure that Shannon knows

199
00:08:40,345 --> 00:08:43,237
that I'm there for her, and then
wait for her to come to me.

200
00:08:43,261 --> 00:08:44,978
Exactly, and before you know it,

201
00:08:45,002 --> 00:08:47,372
she'll be pulling the pregnancy
test out of that drawer, and...

202
00:08:47,396 --> 00:08:49,113
Oh, God.
What?

203
00:08:49,137 --> 00:08:51,245
After I found it,

204
00:08:51,269 --> 00:08:53,117
I was walking around
my apartment in a daze,

205
00:08:53,141 --> 00:08:55,598
and I think I may have left it
on the kitchen counter,

206
00:08:55,622 --> 00:08:58,688
so I need to go home right now
before she comes home

207
00:08:58,712 --> 00:09:00,864
and finds it.Oh. Okay.

208
00:09:00,888 --> 00:09:03,431
So glad we didn't just
do this over the phone.

209
00:09:03,455 --> 00:09:04,911
I'm sorry. I love you.
Thank you.

210
00:09:04,935 --> 00:09:06,241
Bye. Mwah. Love you.

211
00:09:16,251 --> 00:09:17,557
[SIGHS]

212
00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:30,482
Oh, my God.

213
00:09:37,402 --> 00:09:38,752
Yeah.

214
00:09:42,451 --> 00:09:44,429
[DOORBELL RINGS]

215
00:09:44,453 --> 00:09:45,517
Hey, son.

216
00:09:45,541 --> 00:09:46,779
What you doing here?

217
00:09:46,803 --> 00:09:49,608
I, uh, I have some big news.

218
00:09:49,632 --> 00:09:51,001
You're finally gonna
shave that beard

219
00:09:51,025 --> 00:09:53,090
that makes you look like
that genie from Aladdin?

220
00:09:53,114 --> 00:09:55,092
Oh, Walt.

221
00:09:55,116 --> 00:09:56,746
What's going on, honey?

222
00:09:56,770 --> 00:09:59,531
Guys... Clem's pregnant.

223
00:09:59,555 --> 00:10:02,665
Yes!

224
00:10:02,689 --> 00:10:04,101
Yes, yes!

225
00:10:04,125 --> 00:10:05,972
Yes, yes!

226
00:10:05,996 --> 00:10:09,193
I'm gonna be a grandma!

227
00:10:09,217 --> 00:10:10,673
I'm happy for you, too, son.

228
00:10:10,697 --> 00:10:14,154
I'm just showing it in
a less absolutely insane way.

229
00:10:14,178 --> 00:10:16,417
So, come on, sit,
sit, come on, sit.

230
00:10:16,441 --> 00:10:19,203
So, how did Clem tell you?

231
00:10:19,227 --> 00:10:20,900
That's the thing; She hasn't.

232
00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:22,772
She left the pregnancy test
on the kitchen counter

233
00:10:22,796 --> 00:10:25,644
for me to find because I-I think
she's afraid to tell me.

234
00:10:25,668 --> 00:10:28,255
Why would she be afraid to tell
you that she's gonna have a B...

235
00:10:28,279 --> 00:10:31,239
Baby!

236
00:10:33,589 --> 00:10:35,915
I actually think she was
trying to tell me yesterday

237
00:10:35,939 --> 00:10:38,352
by bringing up us having kids,

238
00:10:38,376 --> 00:10:42,095
but she stopped because I made
her feel like I wasn't ready,

239
00:10:42,119 --> 00:10:44,644
because I'm not.[GASPS] Shut your mouth!

240
00:10:46,907 --> 00:10:49,494
I mean, let's discuss

241
00:10:49,518 --> 00:10:52,715
why is it
that you feel this way.

242
00:10:52,739 --> 00:10:55,413
I don't know.
You know?

243
00:10:55,437 --> 00:10:56,893
The plan was to
wait a few years.

244
00:10:56,917 --> 00:10:58,198
And this is all
happening so fast.

245
00:10:58,222 --> 00:11:00,636
I mean, I just signed up
for a softball league.

246
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:03,029
Am I gonna be able to do that?

247
00:11:03,053 --> 00:11:05,249
Trust me, when it comes
to having kids,

248
00:11:05,273 --> 00:11:07,251
no one is ever truly ready.

249
00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:09,253
And then your baby is born,

250
00:11:09,277 --> 00:11:11,821
and you see
that perfect little face,

251
00:11:11,845 --> 00:11:14,040
and it just fills
your heart with joy.

252
00:11:14,064 --> 00:11:16,390
And that feeling
never goes away.

253
00:11:16,414 --> 00:11:18,373
And then they grow up.

254
00:11:19,853 --> 00:11:22,638
And cover that face
with a weird beard.

255
00:11:24,118 --> 00:11:28,272
Sweetheart, you are ready
to have this baby.

256
00:11:28,296 --> 00:11:29,665
You really think so?

257
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:30,970
Are you kidding?

258
00:11:30,994 --> 00:11:33,103
You are gonna be
a fantastic father.

259
00:11:33,127 --> 00:11:35,932
Absolutely.

260
00:11:35,956 --> 00:11:38,369
You know what,
maybe I can do this.

261
00:11:38,393 --> 00:11:40,980
I do have a lot of knowledge
to pass on.

262
00:11:41,004 --> 00:11:43,485
Plus, it'd be nice to
have a little wingman.

263
00:11:45,139 --> 00:11:46,812
'Cause I'm starting to get
a lot of weird looks

264
00:11:46,836 --> 00:11:49,249
when I go to Pixar movies alone.

265
00:11:49,273 --> 00:11:50,492
[PHONE CHIMES]

266
00:11:52,624 --> 00:11:54,341
Oh, it's Clem.
Oh.

267
00:11:54,365 --> 00:11:56,126
She wants to talk.
Mm-hmm.

268
00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:58,041
You know what, I'm gonna
go home and let her know

269
00:11:58,065 --> 00:11:59,477
that she has nothing
to worry about.

270
00:11:59,501 --> 00:12:01,174
I am ready to be a father.

271
00:12:01,198 --> 00:12:02,262
[LAUGHS]
Mm.

272
00:12:02,286 --> 00:12:03,350
Thanks, guys.

273
00:12:03,374 --> 00:12:04,482
Yeah. [LAUGHS]Ooh.

274
00:12:04,506 --> 00:12:06,136
And I'm ready, too.

275
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:08,834
I've got a whole closet
full of baby clothes,

276
00:12:08,858 --> 00:12:11,054
folded and ready to go.

277
00:12:11,078 --> 00:12:13,578
Mom, you already
bought baby clothes?

278
00:12:13,602 --> 00:12:16,363
And pacifiers and a diaper genie
and a high chair.

279
00:12:16,387 --> 00:12:18,670
That is not true, Walt.

280
00:12:18,694 --> 00:12:23,283
Actually, the high chair is
still in my Buy Buy Baby cart.

281
00:12:23,307 --> 00:12:28,419
But with one click,
your baby can be sitting high!

282
00:12:28,443 --> 00:12:30,662
Mwah. All right.

283
00:12:35,406 --> 00:12:39,909
No judgment.
No judgment.

284
00:12:39,933 --> 00:12:41,214
Hey, Clem.

285
00:12:41,238 --> 00:12:43,545
There's my favorite sister!

286
00:12:45,590 --> 00:12:47,090
Okay.

287
00:12:47,114 --> 00:12:48,395
Come in. Sit down.

288
00:12:48,419 --> 00:12:49,875
Put your feet up.
Do you want a snack?

289
00:12:49,899 --> 00:12:51,964
I can get you a snack.

290
00:12:51,988 --> 00:12:53,270
Why are you being so nice to me?

291
00:12:53,294 --> 00:12:56,752
Because I care about you.

292
00:12:56,776 --> 00:13:00,668
And I support you
no matter what.

293
00:13:00,692 --> 00:13:03,149
Thanks, Clem.
That's real sweet.

294
00:13:03,173 --> 00:13:07,003
You know what's sweet?
Fresh-baked cookies.

295
00:13:09,397 --> 00:13:11,201
Nah, my stomach's blecch.

296
00:13:11,225 --> 00:13:12,376
Really?

297
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:13,638
Must have been something I ate.

298
00:13:13,662 --> 00:13:16,859
Or maybe it was something else.

299
00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:19,383
Like what?
What else could it possibly be?

300
00:13:19,407 --> 00:13:22,865
I don't know.
Maybe you're...

301
00:13:22,889 --> 00:13:25,389
Maybe I'm what?
What am I, Clem?

302
00:13:25,413 --> 00:13:27,217
It doesn't matter.

303
00:13:27,241 --> 00:13:30,524
But whatever it is,
you can tell me.

304
00:13:30,548 --> 00:13:32,831
Oh, God. Oh, no.

305
00:13:32,855 --> 00:13:35,181
[COUGHS]
No, I'm gonna puke!

306
00:13:35,205 --> 00:13:37,140
Shannon?
Shannon?

307
00:13:37,164 --> 00:13:38,339
[RETCHING]

308
00:13:41,081 --> 00:13:43,189
Hey, Shannon,
are you okay in there?

309
00:13:43,213 --> 00:13:44,277
Oh, I'm fine.

310
00:13:44,301 --> 00:13:48,020
[RETCHING DRAMATICALLY]

311
00:13:48,044 --> 00:13:49,500
Just give me a minute.

312
00:13:49,524 --> 00:13:51,265
[RETCHING DRAMATICALLY]

313
00:13:52,701 --> 00:13:54,940
Oh.
Hey, babe.

314
00:13:54,964 --> 00:13:57,464
Good, you're home.
We need to talk.

315
00:13:57,488 --> 00:13:58,988
I know what you want
to talk about.

316
00:13:59,012 --> 00:13:59,989
You do?

317
00:14:00,013 --> 00:14:01,642
I found the pregnancy test,

318
00:14:01,666 --> 00:14:03,775
and-and sure, like, this might
be happening a little early...

319
00:14:03,799 --> 00:14:06,778
A little?
This is a disaster.

320
00:14:06,802 --> 00:14:08,911
And that's what I thought
at first, too, but now...

321
00:14:08,935 --> 00:14:10,608
now I'm really, really happy.

322
00:14:10,632 --> 00:14:12,305
How could you be happy?

323
00:14:12,329 --> 00:14:15,506
We don't even know
who the father is.

324
00:14:18,248 --> 00:14:21,053
We don't know who the father is?

325
00:14:21,077 --> 00:14:22,402
[SIGHS]

326
00:14:22,426 --> 00:14:25,057
Yeah. I mean, it could be Kyle.

327
00:14:25,081 --> 00:14:27,755
How could it be Kyle?!

328
00:14:27,779 --> 00:14:30,584
I don't know, Nick.
It could be anyone.

329
00:14:30,608 --> 00:14:32,760
Excuse me?

330
00:14:32,784 --> 00:14:34,937
Why are you so surprised?

331
00:14:34,961 --> 00:14:36,547
Because I assumed
that I was the only person

332
00:14:36,571 --> 00:14:38,375
you were having sex with!

333
00:14:38,399 --> 00:14:41,421
What?

334
00:14:41,445 --> 00:14:42,620
No. [CHUCKLES]

335
00:14:45,362 --> 00:14:47,950
I mean yes.

336
00:14:47,974 --> 00:14:49,908
[CHUCKLES] Yes.

337
00:14:49,932 --> 00:14:51,910
No, sweetie.

338
00:14:51,934 --> 00:14:54,043
Sweetie, I'm not pregnant.

339
00:14:54,067 --> 00:14:55,609
Shannon is pregnant.

340
00:14:55,633 --> 00:14:57,897
So, wait, you're not pregnant?

341
00:14:59,289 --> 00:15:01,964
Damn.

342
00:15:01,988 --> 00:15:05,054
Wait, Shannon's pregnant? Damn!

343
00:15:05,078 --> 00:15:07,970
Yeah, but she doesn't know
that I know.

344
00:15:07,994 --> 00:15:10,257
Oh, yes, I do.

345
00:15:11,693 --> 00:15:14,150
'Cause you snooped, you narc.

346
00:15:14,174 --> 00:15:17,481
Who cares that I snooped?
You're pregnant.

347
00:15:19,701 --> 00:15:22,593
Oh, my God, you're not pregnant.

348
00:15:22,617 --> 00:15:24,987
No!

349
00:15:25,011 --> 00:15:28,797
That test was a fake
to prove you were snooping.

350
00:15:30,146 --> 00:15:31,515
Damn it, Shannon,

351
00:15:31,539 --> 00:15:34,300
I am so angry and so relieved,

352
00:15:34,324 --> 00:15:38,609
and so mad and so happy
all at the same time!

353
00:15:38,633 --> 00:15:41,655
I'm texting Kyle,
because according to our deal,

354
00:15:41,679 --> 00:15:43,396
I get to have him sleep over.

355
00:15:43,420 --> 00:15:46,008
The eggplant emoji?

356
00:15:46,032 --> 00:15:48,358
That's right.

357
00:15:48,382 --> 00:15:51,056
I have no idea what
that means, young lady,

358
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:53,363
but that little punk
is not sleeping over,

359
00:15:53,387 --> 00:15:55,800
as gorgeous as he is.

360
00:15:55,824 --> 00:15:58,803
Yeah, I'm sorry,
but we had a deal.

361
00:15:58,827 --> 00:16:00,500
And once you send
the eggplant emoji,

362
00:16:00,524 --> 00:16:02,807
there's, like, no turning back.

363
00:16:02,831 --> 00:16:05,723
Yeah, well, screw the deal.

364
00:16:05,747 --> 00:16:07,333
This is our house.

365
00:16:07,357 --> 00:16:08,900
And, yes, you can leave
whenever you want,

366
00:16:08,924 --> 00:16:10,728
but as long as you're here
under this roof,

367
00:16:10,752 --> 00:16:12,145
what we say goes.

368
00:16:14,669 --> 00:16:16,279
Hypocrites.

369
00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,434
[DOOR SLAMS]

370
00:16:21,458 --> 00:16:23,045
Babe, I just,
I have one question.

371
00:16:23,069 --> 00:16:26,289
Yes, the eggplant is a penis.

372
00:16:28,335 --> 00:16:30,966
Well, then that means
I've been flirting

373
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:33,601
with my vegan coworker Steven.

374
00:16:37,605 --> 00:16:39,607
[SIGHS]

375
00:16:40,434 --> 00:16:43,002
Shannon?

376
00:16:47,919 --> 00:16:50,724
Can you take your headphones off
so that you can hear me?

377
00:16:50,748 --> 00:16:54,511
Sorry, I can't hear you.
I'm wearing headphones.

378
00:16:54,535 --> 00:16:56,058
Shannon.

379
00:16:58,147 --> 00:16:59,472
What?

380
00:16:59,496 --> 00:17:01,953
I'm sorry that I
broke the deal. Okay?

381
00:17:01,977 --> 00:17:04,651
But I never should have
made it in the first place.

382
00:17:04,675 --> 00:17:06,218
I'm new to this whole
parenting thing,

383
00:17:06,242 --> 00:17:07,828
and I don't really know
what I'm doing.

384
00:17:07,852 --> 00:17:10,744
But all I know is that
I'm responsible for you.

385
00:17:10,768 --> 00:17:12,485
Yeah, and it's driving me crazy.

386
00:17:12,509 --> 00:17:14,357
Maybe I should just
move back in with Dad,

387
00:17:14,381 --> 00:17:16,707
and go back to my old school,
where the pregnant girls

388
00:17:16,731 --> 00:17:19,405
are nice and share their pee.

389
00:17:19,429 --> 00:17:22,060
You just want
to go back to Dad's

390
00:17:22,084 --> 00:17:23,888
because he lets you do
whatever you want.

391
00:17:23,912 --> 00:17:26,238
Hey, now you're catching on.

392
00:17:26,262 --> 00:17:28,849
Well, that's not me.

393
00:17:28,873 --> 00:17:30,242
And while you're here,

394
00:17:30,266 --> 00:17:32,070
you don't get to do
whatever you want.

395
00:17:32,094 --> 00:17:34,029
Because I'm watching out
for you, Shannon,

396
00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:36,683
which is something that Dad
never did for either of us.

397
00:17:36,707 --> 00:17:39,251
Yeah, well, maybe
that's what I want.

398
00:17:39,275 --> 00:17:41,253
Maybe it is.

399
00:17:41,277 --> 00:17:43,429
But just know that...

400
00:17:43,453 --> 00:17:45,431
Dad wasn't good at
saying this to us,

401
00:17:45,455 --> 00:17:48,130
but... I love you.

402
00:17:48,154 --> 00:17:49,870
I do.

403
00:17:49,894 --> 00:17:51,655
A lot.

404
00:17:51,679 --> 00:17:55,552
So just think about that
before you decide to go.

405
00:17:57,467 --> 00:17:59,948
[SIGHS]

406
00:18:06,389 --> 00:18:07,671
[DOOR CLOSES]

407
00:18:07,695 --> 00:18:10,239
So, how'd it go?

408
00:18:10,263 --> 00:18:11,849
Terrible.

409
00:18:11,873 --> 00:18:14,547
I think she's gonna
go back to my Dad's.

410
00:18:14,571 --> 00:18:16,027
Sorry, babe.

411
00:18:16,051 --> 00:18:17,898
Yeah, me, too.

412
00:18:17,922 --> 00:18:20,945
But, hey, you should be happy
that we're not having a kid

413
00:18:20,969 --> 00:18:23,537
because I completely
suck at this.

414
00:18:24,581 --> 00:18:25,950
How dare you?!

415
00:18:25,974 --> 00:18:27,299
What? What did I do?

416
00:18:27,323 --> 00:18:29,780
You just had to pull out
the big guns, didn't you?

417
00:18:29,804 --> 00:18:32,502
Telling me you love me.

418
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:35,481
You're sick, you know that?

419
00:18:35,505 --> 00:18:37,309
Sick!

420
00:18:37,333 --> 00:18:39,877
So you're staying?

421
00:18:39,901 --> 00:18:41,400
Like I have a choice now.

422
00:18:41,424 --> 00:18:44,186
"I love you."
Who says these things?!

423
00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:46,231
I do.

424
00:18:46,255 --> 00:18:48,190
I do, too.

425
00:18:48,214 --> 00:18:50,346
Okay, whatever.

426
00:19:01,444 --> 00:19:02,837
[RETCHES]

427
00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:09,385
Wait, am I good at this?

428
00:19:09,409 --> 00:19:11,952
Am I, like, really good at this?

429
00:19:11,976 --> 00:19:13,935
Girl, you are fantastic!

430
00:19:16,372 --> 00:19:17,939
[KNOCK ON DOOR]

431
00:19:19,332 --> 00:19:21,179
Hey, I'm here to see Shannon.

432
00:19:21,203 --> 00:19:22,876
Sorry, man, not happening.

433
00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:24,748
Bro, I don't think
you understand, okay?

434
00:19:24,772 --> 00:19:26,750
She sent me the eggplant emoji.

435
00:19:26,774 --> 00:19:29,144
It's basically the Bat-Signal.

436
00:19:29,168 --> 00:19:30,884
If you don't leave right now,

437
00:19:30,908 --> 00:19:32,930
I'm gonna send you
the cut-up cucumber emoji.

438
00:19:32,954 --> 00:19:34,932
Buh-bye.

439
00:19:34,956 --> 00:19:37,263
[SINGING]

440
00:19:40,570 --> 00:19:42,026
That was awesome.

441
00:19:42,050 --> 00:19:44,159
I cannot wait
to make a baby with you.

442
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:45,508
Mm.

443
00:19:45,532 --> 00:19:48,075
But not for, like,
five to seven years, right?

444
00:19:48,099 --> 00:19:49,188
Minimum.
Mm.

445
00:19:56,282 --> 00:19:57,694
Okay, so let me
get this straight.

446
00:19:57,718 --> 00:20:01,132
You're telling me
that no one is pregnant.

447
00:20:01,156 --> 00:20:03,265
Nope. Just Kimmie
from my homeroom.

448
00:20:03,289 --> 00:20:07,269
But no one in this room is,
if that's what you're asking.

449
00:20:07,293 --> 00:20:11,011
So, sweetheart,
gonna bring out that apple pie?

450
00:20:11,035 --> 00:20:12,448
Oh, that is why we are here.

451
00:20:12,472 --> 00:20:14,232
It's my favorite thing
that she makes.

452
00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:16,780
Oh, really?
No pie for you.

453
00:20:18,608 --> 00:20:20,064
But I was looking
forward to that.

454
00:20:20,088 --> 00:20:22,197
Oh, did you get
your hopes up for something,

455
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:24,590
just to have them
cruelly dashed?

456
00:20:24,614 --> 00:20:26,288
'Cause I did!

457
00:20:26,312 --> 00:20:28,227
Excuse me.

458
00:20:29,750 --> 00:20:31,206
Mom, are you serious?
ROSE: I'm serious!

459
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:33,319
Captioning sponsored by CBS

460
00:20:37,366 --> 00:20:41,370
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org