1
00:00:03,645 --> 00:00:06,026
The people who eat here are animals.

2
00:00:06,051 --> 00:00:08,859
And not like those cute
otters holding hands.

3
00:00:09,301 --> 00:00:10,738
I hate 'em all.

4
00:00:11,660 --> 00:00:13,567
I went over to check
on a table and this man

5
00:00:13,592 --> 00:00:16,526
wiped gloppy short
rib sauce on my shirt.

6
00:00:16,551 --> 00:00:17,845
Do I look like a napkin?

7
00:00:17,870 --> 00:00:19,770
Well, you do now.

8
00:00:20,863 --> 00:00:24,793
And by the way, that "gloppy
sauce" is a port wine reduction,

9
00:00:24,826 --> 00:00:27,700
and intentionally viscous.

10
00:00:29,864 --> 00:00:31,048
Ugh.

11
00:00:31,143 --> 00:00:33,644
I came out here for fresh
air, but that dream is dead.

12
00:00:33,669 --> 00:00:36,015
Let me toss it on the
pile with all your others.

13
00:00:36,472 --> 00:00:38,472
I doubt you can throw that high.

14
00:00:39,053 --> 00:00:40,645
It sounds like you need

15
00:00:40,670 --> 00:00:42,954
a delicious and calming cigarette.

16
00:00:42,979 --> 00:00:44,144
I don't smoke.

17
00:00:44,230 --> 00:00:46,981
In the words of the
great '80s poet Adam Ant,

18
00:00:47,066 --> 00:00:50,458
"Don't drink, don't
smoke, what do you do?"

19
00:00:52,548 --> 00:00:55,666
Hey, dude, I used to smoke, I
used to drink, I used to strip,

20
00:00:55,691 --> 00:00:57,608
I used to not come
home for days at a time.

21
00:00:57,633 --> 00:01:00,223
Mm, so what you're saying
is you used to be fun.

22
00:01:05,860 --> 00:01:07,026
Fine. Give me one.

23
00:01:20,048 --> 00:01:22,051
Oh, right.

24
00:01:25,161 --> 00:01:26,831
Thanks, I owe you one.

25
00:01:26,883 --> 00:01:29,500
Great. You want to come over
to my place after we close,

26
00:01:29,525 --> 00:01:31,308
"get chummy"?

27
00:01:31,333 --> 00:01:34,231
It's tobacco, not ecstasy.

28
00:01:35,017 --> 00:01:36,900
Would you like some ecstasy?

29
00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:43,397
♪♪

30
00:02:05,445 --> 00:02:07,779
Why do we bother putting
the damn chairs away?

31
00:02:07,804 --> 00:02:09,888
We're just gonna have
another meeting tomorrow.

32
00:02:09,913 --> 00:02:11,997
There's ladies' Zumba in the morning.

33
00:02:12,022 --> 00:02:13,555
What is that, like a Kegel thing?

34
00:02:13,580 --> 00:02:15,664
Tightening the old hoo-ha?

35
00:02:16,617 --> 00:02:18,767
It's a dance-based exercise class,

36
00:02:18,792 --> 00:02:21,076
but your la-la does get a workout.

37
00:02:21,750 --> 00:02:23,545
Guys, we're all over 12.

38
00:02:23,580 --> 00:02:25,703
We can say "vagina."

39
00:02:26,416 --> 00:02:28,383
I did Zumba drunk once.

40
00:02:28,418 --> 00:02:30,156
Got kicked out.

41
00:02:30,181 --> 00:02:33,343
Maybe 'cause I kept yelling "Zumba!"

42
00:02:34,371 --> 00:02:36,287
And I peed in my leotard.

43
00:02:36,560 --> 00:02:38,421
(phone chimes)

44
00:02:39,476 --> 00:02:41,515
- Oh, my God.
- What?

45
00:02:41,540 --> 00:02:42,823
I just got a text from this guy

46
00:02:42,848 --> 00:02:45,070
I met at The Home Depot yesterday.

47
00:02:45,095 --> 00:02:47,713
Wait, like, "met a guy" met a guy?

48
00:02:47,738 --> 00:02:49,296
You didn't tell me that. Spill.

49
00:02:49,321 --> 00:02:51,431
Well, he works there. I
needed to get a light switch,

50
00:02:51,456 --> 00:02:52,822
but I wasn't sure if I needed

51
00:02:52,847 --> 00:02:55,064
a 20-amp or if a
15-amp would cover it.

52
00:02:55,089 --> 00:02:56,288
- So then I...
- Get to the man part.

53
00:02:56,313 --> 00:02:59,570
So Rick... that's what
his lifting belt said...

54
00:02:59,666 --> 00:03:00,999
Swooped in and said even

55
00:03:01,024 --> 00:03:02,807
if I only needed a 15,
a 20 should be fine.

56
00:03:02,832 --> 00:03:04,415
And then he pushed you up
against the wall and kissed you.

57
00:03:04,588 --> 00:03:06,710
Sorry, I just got to
make the story better.

58
00:03:06,949 --> 00:03:08,984
He asked for my number, I
didn't think he'd use it.

59
00:03:09,009 --> 00:03:11,093
Now he wants to know "What's up?"

60
00:03:11,118 --> 00:03:12,890
How do I even respond to that?

61
00:03:12,915 --> 00:03:15,916
How about "Nothing much,
what's up with you?"

62
00:03:15,941 --> 00:03:19,247
Are you nuts? You want
to sound busy, in demand.

63
00:03:19,272 --> 00:03:20,906
Tell him you're at a gala.

64
00:03:20,931 --> 00:03:23,046
No, wait. You met him at Home Depot.

65
00:03:23,071 --> 00:03:24,954
Tell him you're at a county fair.

66
00:03:25,593 --> 00:03:26,941
Personally, I don't think

67
00:03:26,977 --> 00:03:29,110
you should start a
relationship off on a lie.

68
00:03:29,135 --> 00:03:30,467
Go with "not much."

69
00:03:33,625 --> 00:03:36,493
Oh, man, which tiny
blonde should I believe?

70
00:03:37,843 --> 00:03:39,968
Well, Christy's my
daughter and I love her,

71
00:03:40,001 --> 00:03:42,719
but if you want any hope of a
romantic life, listen to Jill.

72
00:03:43,226 --> 00:03:44,492
"At a fair."

73
00:03:44,544 --> 00:03:46,161
Hey, I date.

74
00:03:46,186 --> 00:03:49,351
You do. Not recently, but you do.

75
00:03:49,416 --> 00:03:51,216
(phone chimes)

76
00:03:51,241 --> 00:03:53,226
Whoa, he texted back already.

77
00:03:53,251 --> 00:03:55,584
And he asked me out
on a date! "Anytime... "

78
00:03:55,609 --> 00:03:59,312
No, no, no. You're eating
funnel cake at a fair, remember?

79
00:03:59,337 --> 00:04:00,828
Yeah, you're not just staring

80
00:04:00,853 --> 00:04:02,603
at your phone like some kind of Christy.

81
00:04:03,976 --> 00:04:05,140
I don't do that.

82
00:04:05,165 --> 00:04:08,750
I blame myself. It's why I'm
trying to do better with Tammy.

83
00:04:09,094 --> 00:04:11,428
- Marjorie, everyone's picking on me.
- I know,

84
00:04:11,453 --> 00:04:14,210
and the fact that they're
right doesn't justify it.

85
00:04:14,741 --> 00:04:16,039
You know what?

86
00:04:16,064 --> 00:04:18,732
My homework is more fun than this.

87
00:04:18,757 --> 00:04:21,257
And yeah, that's a dig, guys.

88
00:04:21,665 --> 00:04:23,203
It's a dig.

89
00:04:24,308 --> 00:04:27,165
- So when do I text him back?
- I'll let you know.

90
00:04:31,541 --> 00:04:32,585
Sharon.

91
00:04:32,610 --> 00:04:33,935
Oh, hey, Christy.

92
00:04:33,968 --> 00:04:35,265
Can I bum one of those?

93
00:04:35,290 --> 00:04:37,501
Sure. I didn't know you were a smoker.

94
00:04:37,526 --> 00:04:39,159
Only on Wednesdays.

95
00:04:39,184 --> 00:04:40,350
It's Thursday.

96
00:04:40,639 --> 00:04:42,250
Just light the cigarette, Sharon.

97
00:04:46,421 --> 00:04:47,843
Thank you.

98
00:04:50,366 --> 00:04:52,976
I'm just gonna go smoke
this behind that bush.

99
00:04:57,570 --> 00:04:58,750
I'll see you over there.

100
00:04:58,817 --> 00:05:00,233
MARJORIE: Yeah.

101
00:05:06,983 --> 00:05:08,234
Now.

102
00:05:12,407 --> 00:05:13,687
Morons.

103
00:05:18,816 --> 00:05:21,233
Hi, can I have ten
dollars on pump three?

104
00:05:21,258 --> 00:05:22,423
You got it.

105
00:05:24,336 --> 00:05:25,312
Actually,

106
00:05:25,337 --> 00:05:27,322
can I have five dollars on pump three

107
00:05:27,347 --> 00:05:28,730
and a pack of the Lights?

108
00:05:28,992 --> 00:05:30,351
Those are nine dollars.

109
00:05:30,376 --> 00:05:32,676
Really? Wow. (laughs softly)

110
00:05:35,188 --> 00:05:38,453
Okay, give me one dollar on pump
three and a pack of the lights.

111
00:05:52,339 --> 00:05:55,153
I don't like that Tammy's
date is picking her up here.

112
00:05:55,245 --> 00:05:58,106
Now if he's a murderer,
he knows where she lives.

113
00:05:58,512 --> 00:06:00,295
That's the third time you've mentioned

114
00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:02,349
that she might get killed on this date.

115
00:06:02,374 --> 00:06:05,443
Where is all this murder
anxiety coming from?

116
00:06:05,468 --> 00:06:07,442
From being a woman, Marjorie.

117
00:06:08,130 --> 00:06:09,189
JILL: Okay!

118
00:06:09,222 --> 00:06:12,372
Get ready. Tammy, come on out,
and show them what you got.

119
00:06:13,151 --> 00:06:15,942
(gasping) Ooh! Wow!

120
00:06:16,438 --> 00:06:19,200
I know, right? I'm a piece.

121
00:06:19,783 --> 00:06:23,318
I'm so nervous, first date out
of prison, first date sober.

122
00:06:23,350 --> 00:06:26,214
It's just like going on a date
drunk, only much, much scarier.

123
00:06:26,239 --> 00:06:27,622
'Cause you're a woman.

124
00:06:27,657 --> 00:06:29,138
You'll be great.

125
00:06:29,163 --> 00:06:31,432
What if he orders a cocktail
and asks me if I want one?

126
00:06:31,457 --> 00:06:32,606
What do I say then?

127
00:06:32,631 --> 00:06:34,306
You don't have to tell your whole story.

128
00:06:34,331 --> 00:06:36,255
Just say you don't feel
like drinking tonight.

129
00:06:36,352 --> 00:06:37,888
Or tell him you can't drink

130
00:06:37,928 --> 00:06:39,294
'cause you're taking antibiotics.

131
00:06:39,319 --> 00:06:40,935
How is that gonna work
if they keep dating?

132
00:06:40,960 --> 00:06:43,171
Yeah, then he'll think
she has some horrible STD

133
00:06:43,196 --> 00:06:45,185
that Western medicine
just can't knock out.

134
00:06:46,310 --> 00:06:48,349
But he won't know she's sober.

135
00:06:48,374 --> 00:06:51,287
Maybe you should stop focusing
on whether he's gonna like you

136
00:06:51,312 --> 00:06:53,582
and see if you even like him.

137
00:06:53,607 --> 00:06:55,683
You're Tammy frickin' Diffendorf.

138
00:06:55,708 --> 00:06:57,325
You are beautiful and fierce

139
00:06:57,350 --> 00:06:59,443
and he's lucky you're
even going out with him.

140
00:06:59,468 --> 00:07:01,435
(laughs): Wow!

141
00:07:01,858 --> 00:07:05,107
You guys just turned
my whole world around.

142
00:07:05,393 --> 00:07:08,638
I am going out on this
date with a blown mind.

143
00:07:09,036 --> 00:07:10,670
He's pulling up. lt's happening!

144
00:07:10,711 --> 00:07:13,263
Okay, when he knocks... Out of my way!

145
00:07:20,618 --> 00:07:22,701
Are we still worried about him, Wendy?

146
00:07:28,813 --> 00:07:31,063
Well, well, well.

147
00:07:32,732 --> 00:07:35,149
Look who's here to
bum another cigarette.

148
00:07:35,446 --> 00:07:36,528
I have my own.

149
00:07:36,553 --> 00:07:39,337
Ooh, your own pack. That was fast.

150
00:07:40,013 --> 00:07:41,946
I still only smoke once in a while,

151
00:07:41,971 --> 00:07:43,670
I just don't want to be seen as needy.

152
00:07:43,695 --> 00:07:45,611
Mm. I think with that
voice and those eyes,

153
00:07:45,636 --> 00:07:47,459
that's always gonna be a problem.

154
00:07:47,931 --> 00:07:50,021
I can take care of myself.

155
00:07:52,698 --> 00:07:54,148
(groans)

156
00:07:54,173 --> 00:07:55,589
Oh, Christy,

157
00:07:55,737 --> 00:07:56,771
face it.

158
00:07:56,796 --> 00:07:58,129
You're a real smoker,

159
00:07:58,303 --> 00:08:00,876
and a real smoker should
have her own lighter.

160
00:08:01,981 --> 00:08:03,364
This was my father's.

161
00:08:05,188 --> 00:08:07,238
And now it's yours.

162
00:08:08,079 --> 00:08:10,962
- Seriously?
- No, I got it from a busboy.

163
00:08:12,272 --> 00:08:15,306
Although it was his father's.

164
00:08:18,008 --> 00:08:20,643
TV HOST: What started
out as dinner and a movie

165
00:08:20,668 --> 00:08:24,376
ended as dinner and a murder.

166
00:08:25,587 --> 00:08:27,335
I'm getting scared.

167
00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:28,993
Marjorie, change the channel.

168
00:08:30,156 --> 00:08:31,492
Marjorie!

169
00:08:35,470 --> 00:08:36,586
Uh-oh.

170
00:08:37,837 --> 00:08:39,579
Yup, there it is.

171
00:08:40,954 --> 00:08:43,657
What do you know, I am
gonna be sad when she goes.

172
00:08:44,421 --> 00:08:45,944
Tammy's back.

173
00:08:46,798 --> 00:08:48,680
Best date ever.

174
00:08:48,705 --> 00:08:51,956
Really? Oh! Marjorie,
wake up, she's home.

175
00:08:51,981 --> 00:08:53,564
I'm awake.

176
00:08:54,837 --> 00:08:56,149
Tell us everything.

177
00:08:56,174 --> 00:08:57,840
Well, I'm so lucky
you guys dressed me up,

178
00:08:57,865 --> 00:09:00,258
because he took me to Olive Garden.

179
00:09:01,461 --> 00:09:03,774
Okay, I've been watching those
commercials for seven years

180
00:09:03,799 --> 00:09:06,826
from prison and if
anything, they undersell it.

181
00:09:07,260 --> 00:09:10,049
- What's he like?
- Oh, he's funny, he's smart...

182
00:09:10,073 --> 00:09:12,615
- And get this, he doesn't drink.
- Is he an alcoholic?

183
00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:15,474
No, he has irritable bowel syndrome.

184
00:09:16,611 --> 00:09:18,337
He sounds perfect.

185
00:09:18,971 --> 00:09:20,554
Doesn't he, Marjorie?

186
00:09:22,333 --> 00:09:25,334
Oh, Lord, let's at least shut her mouth.

187
00:09:32,094 --> 00:09:34,177
Tape? Anybody got any tape?

188
00:09:35,273 --> 00:09:37,149
Was there a good-night kiss?

189
00:09:37,174 --> 00:09:38,691
A lady doesn't kiss and tell,

190
00:09:38,716 --> 00:09:41,057
but I'm no lady, so let me
tell you about the kissing.

191
00:09:41,252 --> 00:09:42,478
It was awesome!

192
00:09:42,503 --> 00:09:44,670
You know the kind of kiss
that leaves you light-headed?

193
00:09:44,722 --> 00:09:46,432
No.

194
00:09:47,275 --> 00:09:49,619
Look at you... you went on
a date, you stayed sober,

195
00:09:49,644 --> 00:09:51,688
your clothes aren't inside out.

196
00:09:51,713 --> 00:09:53,072
You didn't bring any of
their breadsticks home

197
00:09:53,097 --> 00:09:55,648
for your friend Bonnie,
but otherwise, a success.

198
00:09:55,683 --> 00:09:56,565
That's what you think.

199
00:09:56,590 --> 00:09:59,685
- (gasps) What a night!
- I know!

200
00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:02,131
So when can I text him
to tell him I had fun?

201
00:10:02,156 --> 00:10:05,282
- Never. Wait for him to text you.
- But I want to.

202
00:10:05,307 --> 00:10:07,228
Go ahead. A little "I had
a good time" won't hurt.

203
00:10:07,257 --> 00:10:09,672
(gasps) They're still warm.

204
00:10:09,697 --> 00:10:11,923
Thanks, Bonnie. "Had a nice time.

205
00:10:11,948 --> 00:10:13,531
Can't wait to see you again."

206
00:10:13,584 --> 00:10:14,700
I guess that's okay.

207
00:10:14,752 --> 00:10:15,868
"I think you're the one."

208
00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:17,169
No! No! No!

209
00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:21,760
Oh. How'd it go?

210
00:10:32,861 --> 00:10:34,795
(phone rings)

211
00:10:39,059 --> 00:10:40,345
Hi, Jill.

212
00:10:41,161 --> 00:10:44,915
I'm almost there,
driving as fast as I can.

213
00:10:45,756 --> 00:10:47,172
Bye.

214
00:11:09,537 --> 00:11:11,454
(spraying)

215
00:11:38,085 --> 00:11:39,679
That was easy.

216
00:11:42,062 --> 00:11:44,391
I'm starving. Can we please order?

217
00:11:44,416 --> 00:11:45,715
Aren't we gonna wait for Christy?

218
00:11:45,740 --> 00:11:47,851
No, 'cause I get rude when I'm hangry.

219
00:11:47,876 --> 00:11:49,426
We're ready, we're ready!

220
00:11:49,451 --> 00:11:52,374
Oh, I am so gonna get her fired.

221
00:11:52,399 --> 00:11:54,674
(scoffs) Why isn't Rick texting me back?

222
00:11:54,699 --> 00:11:55,815
I'm gonna text him again.

223
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:56,984
Tammy, I wouldn't.

224
00:11:57,009 --> 00:11:59,476
You texted him four times in
the car on the way over here.

225
00:11:59,501 --> 00:12:00,834
How do I put this gently?

226
00:12:00,993 --> 00:12:02,576
That's something Christy would do.

227
00:12:02,662 --> 00:12:04,028
I just really like him,

228
00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:05,863
and I haven't liked
anyone in a long time.

229
00:12:05,948 --> 00:12:08,165
Which is great, but just take it slow.

230
00:12:08,201 --> 00:12:09,988
Food!

231
00:12:10,785 --> 00:12:12,868
I think I have some almonds in my purse.

232
00:12:14,699 --> 00:12:15,589
No.

233
00:12:17,168 --> 00:12:19,163
Maybe my phone is broken.
Will you just text me?

234
00:12:19,188 --> 00:12:20,988
No, you're obsessed with this guy.

235
00:12:21,013 --> 00:12:23,013
"This guy"? His name is Rick something

236
00:12:23,049 --> 00:12:25,216
and he means a lot to me.

237
00:12:25,301 --> 00:12:27,885
Hi, guys. Sorry I'm late.

238
00:12:27,910 --> 00:12:31,365
Traffic. What is happening to Napa?

239
00:12:31,390 --> 00:12:33,023
Have you been smoking?

240
00:12:33,539 --> 00:12:34,919
Why would you ask me that?

241
00:12:34,944 --> 00:12:37,027
Because you smell like
mouth wash, air freshener,

242
00:12:37,052 --> 00:12:39,185
Purell and dryer sheets.

243
00:12:39,293 --> 00:12:41,459
It's like sitting next to a
freshly cleaned motel room.

244
00:12:42,348 --> 00:12:44,902
I'm not smoking. Did we order yet?

245
00:12:45,047 --> 00:12:47,298
No, 'cause this is hell.

246
00:12:48,703 --> 00:12:51,469
- Why do you have a lighter?
- Why are you going through my purse?

247
00:12:51,494 --> 00:12:53,605
- I'm your mother.
- What does that have to do with it?

248
00:12:53,630 --> 00:12:56,066
You came out of my pocketbook,
I get to rifle through yours.

249
00:12:59,558 --> 00:13:03,387
(scoffs) Okay, yes, I'm smoking,

250
00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:05,650
but I'm not drinking, I'm not gambling,

251
00:13:05,675 --> 00:13:07,211
I'm not sleeping with married men.

252
00:13:07,236 --> 00:13:08,369
Let me have this.

253
00:13:08,394 --> 00:13:10,477
(phone chimes) (gasps) It's him!

254
00:13:10,808 --> 00:13:12,907
Shoot, Amber Alert.

255
00:13:13,144 --> 00:13:16,567
White pickup, Utah plates.
Keep your eyes open.

256
00:13:16,926 --> 00:13:19,307
Tammy, stop with the phone.
You're driving yourself crazy.

257
00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:22,166
You're driving us all crazy.
You're acting pathetic.

258
00:13:22,887 --> 00:13:24,105
(phone chimes)

259
00:13:24,743 --> 00:13:28,441
Not him, but, yes, Wendy,
Bonnie was a little harsh.

260
00:13:31,230 --> 00:13:34,178
Not out loud. You
trying to get me killed?

261
00:13:34,203 --> 00:13:36,170
(mouths)

262
00:13:37,258 --> 00:13:40,223
Hi, I'd like to make
an order for delivery.

263
00:13:40,248 --> 00:13:43,283
Yeah, my address is the
booth with the woman waving.

264
00:13:46,299 --> 00:13:49,016
(upbeat music playing)

265
00:13:52,576 --> 00:13:54,492
(knocking on door)

266
00:13:56,001 --> 00:13:57,868
(music stops)

267
00:13:57,893 --> 00:13:59,276
Yeah?

268
00:14:00,301 --> 00:14:02,780
Hey, Bonnie, what's happening?

269
00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:05,324
What is happening?

270
00:14:07,119 --> 00:14:09,869
You gals talking about Zumba

271
00:14:09,894 --> 00:14:12,823
inspired me to get out
my old Jazzercise tapes.

272
00:14:12,935 --> 00:14:16,308
There's a lot to mock here,
but I need your advice.

273
00:14:17,347 --> 00:14:19,543
This thing with Tammy is driving me...

274
00:14:20,257 --> 00:14:22,254
Okay, we need to lose this.

275
00:14:23,394 --> 00:14:24,695
I just don't know what to do.

276
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:26,970
She's gonna get her heart
broken and I'm worried about her.

277
00:14:27,006 --> 00:14:29,006
- (chuckles)
- What?

278
00:14:29,496 --> 00:14:31,235
I'm taking a moment to enjoy

279
00:14:31,260 --> 00:14:33,977
that you're worrying about
somebody other than yourself.

280
00:14:35,291 --> 00:14:36,490
You've really changed.

281
00:14:36,515 --> 00:14:38,371
Oh. Thank you.

282
00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:42,324
You can have this back.
It's actually kind of wet.

283
00:14:43,551 --> 00:14:45,082
Okay, here's the deal,

284
00:14:45,107 --> 00:14:46,444
I know what's best for Tammy.

285
00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:48,252
How do I get her to listen to me?

286
00:14:48,277 --> 00:14:50,661
You don't know what's
best for her, Bonnie.

287
00:14:50,757 --> 00:14:52,757
She has to have her own experiences.

288
00:14:52,782 --> 00:14:56,427
The only thing you can do
is share yours, if she asks.

289
00:14:56,452 --> 00:14:58,494
- But she's not asking.
- Well, then shut up.

290
00:14:58,519 --> 00:14:59,910
You shut up.

291
00:15:01,051 --> 00:15:03,017
Sorry, you were saying?

292
00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:05,502
You know, when you started dating Adam,

293
00:15:05,587 --> 00:15:07,455
I thought you were making a big mistake.

294
00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:08,739
What's wrong with Adam?

295
00:15:09,074 --> 00:15:11,048
Well, I just didn't like him,

296
00:15:11,100 --> 00:15:12,716
and I didn't think you were ready,

297
00:15:12,795 --> 00:15:14,578
but you proved me wrong because you are

298
00:15:14,603 --> 00:15:17,057
handling this relationship
so beautifully.

299
00:15:17,082 --> 00:15:21,118
Thank you. What exactly
didn't you like about him?

300
00:15:21,379 --> 00:15:25,195
Well, he had a certain
swagger I didn't appreciate,

301
00:15:25,566 --> 00:15:28,565
and apparently, before you,
he was a bit of a tomcat.

302
00:15:28,617 --> 00:15:33,070
"Swagger"? That's a great
way to put it. So arrogant.

303
00:15:33,122 --> 00:15:35,239
My point is, I was wrong.

304
00:15:35,291 --> 00:15:36,457
I'm not sure you were.

305
00:15:36,542 --> 00:15:38,721
We're running into
ex-girlfriends all the time.

306
00:15:38,746 --> 00:15:40,054
- Bonnie, listen...
- Williams-Sonoma,

307
00:15:40,079 --> 00:15:42,783
I am buying nice plates for
the first time in my life,

308
00:15:42,808 --> 00:15:44,024
and who's wrapping them up?

309
00:15:44,049 --> 00:15:46,417
Jaqueline with her
big, fake fingernails.

310
00:15:47,647 --> 00:15:49,447
Why didn't you tell me this back then?

311
00:15:49,472 --> 00:15:51,824
You didn't ask for my opinion,

312
00:15:52,543 --> 00:15:54,702
like Tammy hasn't asked for yours.

313
00:15:54,727 --> 00:15:56,894
Fine, fine, got it.

314
00:15:56,919 --> 00:16:00,721
Okay. Now if you don't mind,

315
00:16:00,746 --> 00:16:02,776
I would like to go back to Jazzercise.

316
00:16:02,801 --> 00:16:04,378
Would you like to join me?

317
00:16:04,403 --> 00:16:08,098
I would not, but I
definitely want to watch.

318
00:16:08,964 --> 00:16:10,547
(upbeat music plays)

319
00:16:21,082 --> 00:16:22,424
Hi.

320
00:16:22,449 --> 00:16:24,555
- Hi.
- You okay?

321
00:16:24,580 --> 00:16:27,998
Uh, yeah, I just pulled
a muscle Jazzercising.

322
00:16:29,582 --> 00:16:31,762
By the way, your ass
appears to be on fire.

323
00:16:33,465 --> 00:16:36,300
Fine, caught me. Cue the lecture.

324
00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:37,445
No lecture.

325
00:16:37,470 --> 00:16:38,635
Oh, come on, you don't think

326
00:16:38,660 --> 00:16:40,047
this is self-destructive behavior?

327
00:16:40,072 --> 00:16:41,472
Oh, honey,

328
00:16:41,524 --> 00:16:44,475
I get it. I went through the whole

329
00:16:44,500 --> 00:16:47,617
"finding ways to be
naughty in sobriety" thing.

330
00:16:48,322 --> 00:16:51,258
In fact, when I had about five years,

331
00:16:51,283 --> 00:16:53,984
I developed a massive crush on Marvin,

332
00:16:54,009 --> 00:16:56,391
the guy that I had the
coffee commitment with.

333
00:16:56,416 --> 00:16:57,465
Ooh.

334
00:16:57,490 --> 00:17:01,124
No, not "ooh." He was
married and so was I.

335
00:17:01,160 --> 00:17:03,494
- Ooh.
- Yeah.

336
00:17:03,519 --> 00:17:06,000
All we did was flirt, but...

337
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:08,058
it did give me a thrill,

338
00:17:08,083 --> 00:17:10,467
and at the time, I really needed that.

339
00:17:10,563 --> 00:17:12,112
So what happened?

340
00:17:12,137 --> 00:17:14,471
Oh, I kept working the
program, and so did he,

341
00:17:14,507 --> 00:17:18,308
and we got better and
the flirting stopped.

342
00:17:18,344 --> 00:17:21,848
Also, one night he wore a denim vest.

343
00:17:23,933 --> 00:17:26,460
Well, my Marvin and
I are still flirting.

344
00:17:26,485 --> 00:17:30,551
(chuckles) Okay. I'll see you inside.

345
00:17:32,274 --> 00:17:35,576
(grunting)

346
00:17:35,926 --> 00:17:37,910
What was I trying to prove?

347
00:17:45,955 --> 00:17:48,715
- (phone ringing)
- Hi, Bonnie.

348
00:17:48,740 --> 00:17:50,926
Hi, Tammy.

349
00:17:51,957 --> 00:17:54,989
I'm calling 'cause I owe you an apology.

350
00:17:55,075 --> 00:17:56,834
I was too hard on you.

351
00:17:56,859 --> 00:17:58,108
You're not pathetic

352
00:17:58,133 --> 00:18:01,101
and I was wrong to say you
were obsessing about Rick.

353
00:18:01,848 --> 00:18:04,971
Thanks, Big Sauce, that
means a lot. You're forgiven.

354
00:18:04,996 --> 00:18:07,511
Good. So what are you up to?

355
00:18:07,536 --> 00:18:09,870
I'm sitting across the
street from Rick's house.

356
00:18:12,674 --> 00:18:13,840
Are you?

357
00:18:13,865 --> 00:18:15,943
And I may have binoculars.

358
00:18:17,428 --> 00:18:21,006
- Uh-huh.
- Am I as crazy as I feel?

359
00:18:21,046 --> 00:18:23,904
- Are you asking my opinion?
- I am.

360
00:18:25,843 --> 00:18:28,176
Where are you exactly?

361
00:18:32,353 --> 00:18:34,820
You took an Uber to stalk a guy?

362
00:18:34,856 --> 00:18:36,522
You know I don't drive.

363
00:18:36,574 --> 00:18:39,575
- Bonnie, Yuri. Yuri, Bonnie.
- Good evening.

364
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:41,721
Uh, would you like to have
mint, water, phone charger?

365
00:18:41,746 --> 00:18:42,862
I'm fine.

366
00:18:42,947 --> 00:18:46,081
Why are you doing this?
Eh, as long as I'm here.

367
00:18:46,167 --> 00:18:47,454
I still hadn't heard from Rick,

368
00:18:47,479 --> 00:18:49,262
so I went to Home Depot to say hi,

369
00:18:49,287 --> 00:18:51,537
and he walks away and
says he has to do something

370
00:18:51,589 --> 00:18:53,589
in aisle three, so I
follow him to aisle three

371
00:18:53,614 --> 00:18:55,614
and he's not doing
anything. So I say to him,

372
00:18:55,710 --> 00:18:56,926
"You're not doing anything,"

373
00:18:57,104 --> 00:18:58,654
and he says, "I can't talk right now.

374
00:18:58,679 --> 00:19:00,713
I'll call you later when I get home."

375
00:19:00,738 --> 00:19:04,224
Six hours go by, no call, so
I came to see if he's home.

376
00:19:04,249 --> 00:19:05,904
He's home!

377
00:19:06,246 --> 00:19:09,169
He can clearly be seen
eating pizza in his boxers.

378
00:19:09,634 --> 00:19:11,217
So what do I do?

379
00:19:11,544 --> 00:19:13,726
In my experience,

380
00:19:13,778 --> 00:19:16,896
if a guy would rather eat
alone in his underwear,

381
00:19:16,948 --> 00:19:18,731
he's not interested.

382
00:19:18,816 --> 00:19:21,200
- I know.
- You do?

383
00:19:21,242 --> 00:19:24,308
I just didn't want
to admit it to myself.

384
00:19:24,568 --> 00:19:27,884
Tissues are in pocket in front of you.

385
00:19:27,909 --> 00:19:30,376
(crying): I'm gonna be
single the rest of my life.

386
00:19:30,411 --> 00:19:33,579
No, you're not. I have
done way worse than this.

387
00:19:33,664 --> 00:19:35,247
Sitting outside his house?

388
00:19:35,272 --> 00:19:36,559
Try moving into his attic

389
00:19:36,584 --> 00:19:37,984
without him knowing for three weeks.

390
00:19:38,112 --> 00:19:40,029
You didn't really do that.

391
00:19:40,054 --> 00:19:42,588
Sure did. There was a website
warning people about me.

392
00:19:44,308 --> 00:19:45,891
But now I'm getting married,

393
00:19:45,927 --> 00:19:47,927
and I'm not as crazy as I used to be,

394
00:19:47,952 --> 00:19:50,452
and I found a guy who loves
the crazy that's still there.

395
00:19:50,477 --> 00:19:52,208
You're gonna learn from
this, and next time,

396
00:19:52,233 --> 00:19:53,399
you'll do it differently.

397
00:19:53,434 --> 00:19:55,434
(scoffs) If there ever is a next time.

398
00:19:55,459 --> 00:19:58,177
It may not happen right
away, but it will happen.

399
00:20:01,436 --> 00:20:03,135
I think you've waited long enough.

400
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,615
May I take you for dinner sometime?

401
00:20:06,650 --> 00:20:10,818
I'd love that. Let's
go now! Bonnie, out!

402
00:20:11,120 --> 00:20:14,121
- Hey, can we go to Olive Garden?
- No problem.

403
00:20:26,918 --> 00:20:29,535
You don't do anything halfway, do you?

404
00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:32,144
Are you gonna smoke
with me or just judge?

405
00:20:32,169 --> 00:20:34,934
- No, thanks, I quit.
- How?

406
00:20:34,959 --> 00:20:37,933
I just stopped. It's
called having character.

407
00:20:38,220 --> 00:20:39,969
Have fun out here.

408
00:20:39,994 --> 00:20:41,863
I will!

409
00:20:44,442 --> 00:20:46,025
(thunderclap)

410
00:20:50,652 --> 00:20:52,183
Oh...

411
00:20:52,381 --> 00:20:53,964
Oh, come on!