1
00:00:02,104 --> 00:00:06,367
Hey, guys, a quick
announcement before we start.

2
00:00:06,392 --> 00:00:08,609
Uh, my firm...

3
00:00:08,678 --> 00:00:10,444
CLASS: Stone, Gannon and Associates.

4
00:00:10,513 --> 00:00:12,780
Okay, I might have mentioned it before.

5
00:00:13,392 --> 00:00:15,649
We're offering a summer
internship for one-L's,

6
00:00:15,674 --> 00:00:17,680
and I've decided I'm
giving it to someone

7
00:00:17,705 --> 00:00:18,803
in this class.

8
00:00:18,968 --> 00:00:21,708
- So this week...
- CHRISTY: <i>Oh, my God, I want it.</i>

9
00:00:21,733 --> 00:00:23,326
<i>I'm gonna get this.</i>

10
00:00:23,541 --> 00:00:26,286
<i>I mean, I-I'm the best
student in this class.</i>

11
00:00:26,311 --> 00:00:28,564
<i>Who's better than me? Glen?</i>

12
00:00:29,443 --> 00:00:32,752
<i>Who wants a lawyer who's
always smelling his fingers?</i>

13
00:00:33,595 --> 00:00:35,510
<i>Susan's always on her phone.</i>

14
00:00:35,930 --> 00:00:39,064
<i>Joe looks like a little boy
wearing his father's suit.</i>

15
00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:42,335
<i>And then there's Nick.</i>

16
00:00:42,404 --> 00:00:44,304
<i>What's the deal with him?</i>

17
00:00:44,372 --> 00:00:45,972
<i>Some days, he's handsome,</i>

18
00:00:46,041 --> 00:00:48,541
<i>some days, he looks
like a giant marionette.</i>

19
00:00:49,936 --> 00:00:51,703
<i>Hmm, come on, focus.</i>

20
00:00:52,047 --> 00:00:53,646
<i>Who am I missing?</i>

21
00:00:53,715 --> 00:00:56,516
<i>Oh, yes. Ha. Lisa.</i>

22
00:00:56,584 --> 00:00:59,018
<i>The know-it-all who
actually knows it all.</i>

23
00:00:59,087 --> 00:01:01,054
<i>Yeah, I'm thinking about you, too.</i>

24
00:01:01,122 --> 00:01:03,589
<i>'Cause I can take you.
'Cause I'm amazing.</i>

25
00:01:03,614 --> 00:01:04,992
<i>Did I just say that to myself?</i>

26
00:01:05,061 --> 00:01:06,893
<i>Oh, my God, I have
confidence and self-esteem.</i>

27
00:01:06,961 --> 00:01:08,528
<i>When did that kick in?</i>

28
00:01:08,596 --> 00:01:11,364
<i>And I really believe it. I'm the best.</i>

29
00:01:11,433 --> 00:01:12,885
I'm the best.

30
00:01:15,204 --> 00:01:16,980
That's right, deal with it.

31
00:01:17,907 --> 00:01:19,840
♪♪

32
00:01:38,835 --> 00:01:41,685
So I am sitting in my
criminal law class today,

33
00:01:41,710 --> 00:01:43,509
sizing up my competition,

34
00:01:43,578 --> 00:01:46,209
and I realize, out of nowhere,

35
00:01:46,234 --> 00:01:47,934
I am brimming with confidence.

36
00:01:48,859 --> 00:01:51,221
Brim... Ming.

37
00:01:52,432 --> 00:01:54,252
Excuse me, Beatrice?

38
00:01:54,277 --> 00:01:57,212
I asked for no mayo. Guess what I got?

39
00:01:57,369 --> 00:01:58,835
Mayo?

40
00:01:58,860 --> 00:02:00,526
Gobs of it, Bea.

41
00:02:00,551 --> 00:02:02,033
Would you like me to take it back?

42
00:02:02,058 --> 00:02:03,591
No. I'm really hungry.

43
00:02:03,616 --> 00:02:05,205
I just wanted to be heard.

44
00:02:05,780 --> 00:02:08,298
Thanks for letting me be a part of this.

45
00:02:09,437 --> 00:02:10,870
Look at you, taking down a woman

46
00:02:10,939 --> 00:02:12,705
who's been on her feet for 12 hours.

47
00:02:12,774 --> 00:02:14,627
Brimming. No one is safe.

48
00:02:15,732 --> 00:02:17,811
Well, if you're still feeling
feisty, you can come over

49
00:02:17,836 --> 00:02:19,770
to my house and give my
gardener the business.

50
00:02:19,881 --> 00:02:22,544
I got mushrooms on my putting green.

51
00:02:23,279 --> 00:02:25,685
Seems we've finally turned the corner

52
00:02:25,710 --> 00:02:27,977
from the usual complaints
about law school.

53
00:02:28,089 --> 00:02:29,789
She'll circle back.

54
00:02:30,425 --> 00:02:32,216
This week, we're doing a mock trial.

55
00:02:32,241 --> 00:02:34,150
The professor picked a real court case,

56
00:02:34,175 --> 00:02:36,576
gave us all the files and
we're gonna try it ourselves.

57
00:02:36,926 --> 00:02:39,360
Do you get to object? I've
always wanted to object.

58
00:02:39,764 --> 00:02:41,818
What are you talking about?
That's all you ever do.

59
00:02:41,843 --> 00:02:43,123
I object.

60
00:02:44,072 --> 00:02:46,029
I wanted more from that.

61
00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:48,174
I got picked to be the prosecutor,

62
00:02:48,199 --> 00:02:50,065
and this suck-up Lisa
is the defense attorney,

63
00:02:50,429 --> 00:02:53,613
Whoever wins the case is clearly
going to get the internship.

64
00:02:53,638 --> 00:02:55,974
Ooh, smart people cage fight.

65
00:02:55,999 --> 00:02:57,399
(shouts)

66
00:02:57,752 --> 00:03:00,320
Tammy's had a toothache
for a couple of days.

67
00:03:00,345 --> 00:03:01,568
It really hurts when I eat.

68
00:03:01,593 --> 00:03:03,971
Yummy, ow, yummy, ow.

69
00:03:04,125 --> 00:03:05,558
Stop eating.

70
00:03:05,583 --> 00:03:07,683
You don't stop eating a BLT.

71
00:03:08,630 --> 00:03:09,996
Do you want me to give you the number

72
00:03:10,065 --> 00:03:11,336
to my dentist? He's really hot.

73
00:03:11,361 --> 00:03:13,900
All your doctors are hot.
Is that how you pick them?

74
00:03:13,969 --> 00:03:15,335
Yeah.

75
00:03:16,037 --> 00:03:17,477
I already have a dentist appointment.

76
00:03:17,539 --> 00:03:18,972
I was hoping one of you could take me.

77
00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:20,373
We could make it a day.

78
00:03:20,398 --> 00:03:22,111
How is that a day?

79
00:03:22,136 --> 00:03:26,328
They probably have a fish tank.
Wendy, you brightened a little.

80
00:03:27,681 --> 00:03:29,976
Sorry, I have to work.
Can't Marjorie take you?

81
00:03:30,001 --> 00:03:31,841
Nope. Fancy Pantsuit over here

82
00:03:31,866 --> 00:03:34,066
is living it up in the wilds of Canada.

83
00:03:34,091 --> 00:03:37,590
By "living it up," she means
I'm speaking to 300 alcoholics.

84
00:03:37,615 --> 00:03:39,069
Tell them what it's called.

85
00:03:39,164 --> 00:03:41,764
The Saskatoon Sober Jamboree.

86
00:03:43,297 --> 00:03:45,464
You left out the word "sad."

87
00:03:46,519 --> 00:03:48,220
I'll take you to the dentist, Tammy.

88
00:03:48,245 --> 00:03:50,178
Thanks, Big Sauce.

89
00:03:50,505 --> 00:03:55,074
You know, they don't let
just anyone speak at the Jam.

90
00:04:04,686 --> 00:04:05,852
(groans)

91
00:04:05,877 --> 00:04:07,260
No fish tank.

92
00:04:15,545 --> 00:04:16,462
Ooh.

93
00:04:16,531 --> 00:04:19,766
Roasted pork loin with apples.

94
00:04:19,791 --> 00:04:21,558
(lips smacking)

95
00:04:25,540 --> 00:04:27,473
(coughs)

96
00:04:31,224 --> 00:04:33,570
And a lovely side dish.

97
00:04:35,775 --> 00:04:36,908
(coughs)

98
00:04:40,215 --> 00:04:42,255
Some people just take a picture.

99
00:04:42,535 --> 00:04:44,257
I left my phone in the car.

100
00:04:44,282 --> 00:04:46,168
Why do you think I'm
looking at a magazine?

101
00:04:47,076 --> 00:04:48,928
- Let's get out of here.
- You're done already?

102
00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:51,035
They haven't even started.
They want to knock me out.

103
00:04:51,060 --> 00:04:52,090
For a toothache?

104
00:04:52,138 --> 00:04:55,712
Oh, no, we're way past
that. My mouth is a disaster.

105
00:04:55,737 --> 00:04:57,503
There's gum scraping, root canals.

106
00:04:57,528 --> 00:05:00,324
- They want to yank one clean out.
- Oh, man.

107
00:05:00,369 --> 00:05:02,449
I told them I'm sober
and I can't be put under.

108
00:05:02,474 --> 00:05:04,510
Well, sure you can. There's
no part of the program

109
00:05:04,535 --> 00:05:06,302
that says you're supposed to suffer.

110
00:05:06,414 --> 00:05:08,648
You know, unless you end
up in Canada with Marjorie.

111
00:05:08,673 --> 00:05:10,039
(laughs, groans)

112
00:05:10,151 --> 00:05:12,619
Oh, no, no. Go tell
the dentist it's okay.

113
00:05:12,644 --> 00:05:15,152
But then they want to give me
a prescription for pain pills.

114
00:05:15,177 --> 00:05:17,146
You can take pills, but
you got to be careful.

115
00:05:17,258 --> 00:05:19,130
- Those things are tricky.
- Right, right. Uh...

116
00:05:19,155 --> 00:05:20,994
I'll just stick with the
Tylenol. I mean, it got me

117
00:05:21,062 --> 00:05:22,628
through getting stabbed
in the leg with a fork,

118
00:05:22,653 --> 00:05:24,620
- it'll get me through this.
- Wow.

119
00:05:24,645 --> 00:05:26,576
Your time inside was rough.

120
00:05:26,601 --> 00:05:28,882
Oh, no, that wasn't prison.
I was trying to kill a seagull

121
00:05:28,907 --> 00:05:30,535
that landed in my lap.

122
00:05:34,497 --> 00:05:35,942
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,

123
00:05:36,011 --> 00:05:37,887
the facts of this case are clear.

124
00:05:37,912 --> 00:05:39,754
There is ample evidence that...

125
00:05:40,263 --> 00:05:42,397
(moans)

126
00:05:42,450 --> 00:05:44,517
Am I moving my hands too much?

127
00:05:44,542 --> 00:05:46,062
I didn't hear a word you said.

128
00:05:46,087 --> 00:05:48,554
I was mesmerized by how
good you look in my suit.

129
00:05:50,066 --> 00:05:51,331
What do you think?

130
00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:53,233
Well, I-I don't know.
Angie Harmon used to move

131
00:05:53,261 --> 00:05:55,061
her arms around a lot on Law & Order.

132
00:05:56,972 --> 00:05:58,905
Wha... She still on that show?

133
00:05:58,930 --> 00:06:01,699
No, it got canceled. She
went to Rizzoli & Isles.

134
00:06:01,724 --> 00:06:03,236
Well, that's not on anymore, either.

135
00:06:03,261 --> 00:06:04,733
Should we be worried about her?

136
00:06:06,141 --> 00:06:09,909
Guys, can we worry about my
career and not Angie Harmon's?

137
00:06:09,934 --> 00:06:11,967
Uh, it's gonna be fine.
You're gonna do great.

138
00:06:11,992 --> 00:06:12,879
JILL: Oh, my God.

139
00:06:12,904 --> 00:06:14,024
Angie got divorced.

140
00:06:14,049 --> 00:06:15,308
That woman can't catch a break.

141
00:06:17,152 --> 00:06:19,770
Tammy's still asleep.
She's a bit of a drooler.

142
00:06:19,795 --> 00:06:21,443
You're gonna need to change your sheets.

143
00:06:21,468 --> 00:06:23,435
Maybe even the mattress.

144
00:06:23,591 --> 00:06:26,392
Great. But she better be up
before I go to bed tonight.

145
00:06:26,417 --> 00:06:27,783
I have a really big day tomorrow.

146
00:06:27,808 --> 00:06:29,072
Eh, you say that every day. You're like

147
00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:30,396
the girl who cried "big day."

148
00:06:31,470 --> 00:06:32,899
Well, this time it really is.

149
00:06:32,967 --> 00:06:35,601
Tomorrow's the mock trial
and I'm completely unprepared

150
00:06:35,626 --> 00:06:37,449
and I'm gonna lose
to know-it-all Lisa.

151
00:06:37,474 --> 00:06:39,338
Yesterday, you said, and
I quote, you were gonna

152
00:06:39,363 --> 00:06:41,216
"bitch slap her with the law."

153
00:06:42,010 --> 00:06:44,177
Then I remembered she
went to private school

154
00:06:44,202 --> 00:06:49,668
her whole life, aced her LSATs
and I'm me, daughter of you.

155
00:06:50,720 --> 00:06:52,768
- Oh, thank God.
- What?

156
00:06:52,793 --> 00:06:55,460
Angie got a miniseries and a new guy.

157
00:06:57,306 --> 00:06:59,056
Christy, I think you've got this.

158
00:06:59,081 --> 00:07:00,281
That drug dealer's going down.

159
00:07:00,306 --> 00:07:01,872
Whoa, whoa.

160
00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:04,697
Your case is about a drug
dealer? What are the facts?

161
00:07:05,337 --> 00:07:08,067
The cops found the drugs
locked in a car in his driveway

162
00:07:08,092 --> 00:07:09,936
but his defense is it's not his car.

163
00:07:09,961 --> 00:07:12,348
That's the oldest trick in
the book. Remember Oklahoma?

164
00:07:12,373 --> 00:07:14,207
When I bought that
beat-up old Monte Carlo,

165
00:07:14,275 --> 00:07:16,109
registered it to a dead guy...

166
00:07:16,134 --> 00:07:17,987
And stashed your drugs in
it, so nothing could be tied

167
00:07:18,012 --> 00:07:19,545
- to your name.
- That's what this guy's doing.

168
00:07:19,614 --> 00:07:22,715
- That's my girl.
- Well, this is scary.

169
00:07:23,004 --> 00:07:25,613
The upsetting part of the
story is they lived in Oklahoma.

170
00:07:25,638 --> 00:07:28,238
I mean, just move to
Texas. It's right there.

171
00:07:28,723 --> 00:07:29,889
TAMMY: Tylenol!

172
00:07:29,914 --> 00:07:32,114
- Tammy's up.
- Tylenol!

173
00:07:32,227 --> 00:07:34,093
- It hurts!
- It's okay, it's right here.

174
00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:36,262
Ooh, hurry!

175
00:07:36,287 --> 00:07:38,465
Please do what she says.

176
00:07:39,316 --> 00:07:41,000
They don't make this easy.

177
00:07:41,069 --> 00:07:42,668
- What's the problem?
- It's sealed so kids don't get...

178
00:07:42,693 --> 00:07:44,371
Oh, I know why.

179
00:07:45,073 --> 00:07:46,806
Ah, another seal.

180
00:07:46,831 --> 00:07:48,363
Oh, just jam your finger into it.

181
00:07:48,388 --> 00:07:51,809
Oh, see, now I just pushed
the cotton down further.

182
00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:54,313
Christy, you've got
the little monkey hands.

183
00:07:54,338 --> 00:07:55,910
Can you get it out?

184
00:07:56,584 --> 00:07:58,784
(sighs) My past is an asset,

185
00:07:58,809 --> 00:08:00,330
my tiny hands are an asset.

186
00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:02,415
Everything's coming up Christy.

187
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:04,007
No! Tammy!

188
00:08:04,325 --> 00:08:05,758
What?

189
00:08:05,783 --> 00:08:07,082
Spit those out.

190
00:08:07,107 --> 00:08:09,691
Spit those out right now. Do it.

191
00:08:16,171 --> 00:08:17,470
All of them.

192
00:08:29,350 --> 00:08:30,691
Here's two.

193
00:08:30,716 --> 00:08:32,748
Might be three. They're
kind of stuck together.

194
00:08:40,628 --> 00:08:42,398
Look at all these stupid people.

195
00:08:42,423 --> 00:08:43,689
Why are they in front of us?

196
00:08:43,714 --> 00:08:45,146
Because they got here first.

197
00:08:45,171 --> 00:08:47,104
That doesn't seem fair.

198
00:08:47,816 --> 00:08:49,869
I'm looking for some pain pills!

199
00:08:49,894 --> 00:08:51,860
Last name's Diffendorf!

200
00:08:51,973 --> 00:08:53,806
Why don't you go over there
and check your blood pressure

201
00:08:53,831 --> 00:08:55,082
on that super cool machine?

202
00:08:55,107 --> 00:08:56,599
How's that gonna make me feel better?

203
00:08:56,624 --> 00:08:58,379
It won't, but it's over there.

204
00:09:00,449 --> 00:09:02,246
Diffendorf!

205
00:09:05,452 --> 00:09:07,544
- Bonnie?
- Oh, thank God you answered.

206
00:09:07,569 --> 00:09:09,005
You're never happy to talk to me.

207
00:09:09,045 --> 00:09:10,801
What's wrong? Are the cats okay?

208
00:09:10,826 --> 00:09:13,059
The cats are fine. It's the
other animal you live with

209
00:09:13,127 --> 00:09:14,493
that I'm worried about.

210
00:09:14,562 --> 00:09:16,329
Tammy's mouth is a complete tear-down.

211
00:09:16,393 --> 00:09:18,952
She needs hardcore painkillers
to get her through the weekend.

212
00:09:18,977 --> 00:09:20,166
When do you get home?

213
00:09:20,235 --> 00:09:21,989
- Not till Tuesday.
- What?

214
00:09:22,014 --> 00:09:24,447
I'm 300/10. What does that mean?

215
00:09:27,175 --> 00:09:29,108
She needs a responsible sober person

216
00:09:29,177 --> 00:09:31,577
to hold the pills for her.
Can't you come home early?

217
00:09:31,602 --> 00:09:34,369
No. I made a commitment
to a lot of people

218
00:09:34,394 --> 00:09:36,194
who are counting on me being here.

219
00:09:36,219 --> 00:09:39,395
(laughs): Oh! Oh, Wayne, you devil.

220
00:09:39,420 --> 00:09:41,904
(laughs)

221
00:09:41,929 --> 00:09:43,862
I got to go.

222
00:09:45,460 --> 00:09:47,587
What? Who's Wayne?

223
00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:50,229
What are you here for?

224
00:09:50,254 --> 00:09:51,386
Cholesterol.

225
00:09:51,411 --> 00:09:53,178
Cut back on your butter. Get behind me.

226
00:09:53,334 --> 00:09:54,433
You?

227
00:09:54,502 --> 00:09:55,568
I'd rather not say.

228
00:09:55,593 --> 00:09:56,595
Got it. Boner pills.

229
00:09:56,620 --> 00:09:59,154
You're behind me, too.
And keep your eyes up.

230
00:09:59,351 --> 00:10:01,851
Come on, Bonnie. Everyone's
cool with us cutting in line.

231
00:10:02,210 --> 00:10:04,810
I'm sorry, excuse me. My
friend is in a lot of pain.

232
00:10:04,835 --> 00:10:07,610
Excuse me. Hey, she said eyes up, pops.

233
00:10:15,638 --> 00:10:18,272
Bonnie, wake up. It's
time. I need my pill.

234
00:10:18,340 --> 00:10:19,940
It-it hasn't been six hours.

235
00:10:20,009 --> 00:10:22,843
Five and a half is close enough.
My face is gonna fall off.

236
00:10:22,912 --> 00:10:24,578
Give her a pill or give me one.

237
00:10:24,647 --> 00:10:25,979
It's important to wait.

238
00:10:26,048 --> 00:10:27,247
Look, I'll tell you what.

239
00:10:27,272 --> 00:10:28,771
I-I'll help you kill the time.

240
00:10:28,796 --> 00:10:30,361
<i>How about we go play
Clue? You love Clue.</i>

241
00:10:30,386 --> 00:10:32,019
Who did it? We don't know.

242
00:10:33,031 --> 00:10:34,021
<i>I do love Clue.</i>

243
00:10:34,046 --> 00:10:35,585
But you can't play with two people.

244
00:10:35,610 --> 00:10:37,824
- Oh, Adam can play. He's up.
- No he's not.

245
00:10:37,892 --> 00:10:40,193
- But he could be.
- No, he couldn't.

246
00:10:40,261 --> 00:10:42,237
I'll go wake up Christy and
see if she wants to play.

247
00:10:42,262 --> 00:10:45,288
- No. She's got a big day.
- Oh, she always says that.

248
00:10:47,914 --> 00:10:50,272
No further questions, Your Honor.

249
00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:54,474
Thank you, Lisa. Christy, your witness.

250
00:10:54,832 --> 00:10:56,867
Thank you, Your Honor.

251
00:10:58,119 --> 00:10:59,546
Good afternoon, Glen.

252
00:10:59,615 --> 00:11:00,552
Sup?

253
00:11:01,217 --> 00:11:03,217
Curious choice of hat.

254
00:11:03,285 --> 00:11:05,183
I thought it would make me look street.

255
00:11:05,208 --> 00:11:09,151
Ha. Let the record reflect it does not.

256
00:11:09,558 --> 00:11:11,391
Christy, can we move this along?

257
00:11:12,811 --> 00:11:14,027
It's your contention

258
00:11:14,096 --> 00:11:17,397
that you are not, in fact,
a drug dealer, correct?

259
00:11:17,466 --> 00:11:18,632
That's right.

260
00:11:18,701 --> 00:11:20,033
Hmm.

261
00:11:20,058 --> 00:11:22,279
And yet a car parked in your driveway

262
00:11:22,304 --> 00:11:25,839
was found to contain
nine kilos of cocaine.

263
00:11:25,864 --> 00:11:27,297
It's my Uncle Ronnie's car.

264
00:11:27,322 --> 00:11:29,656
Oh. Would that be

265
00:11:29,681 --> 00:11:33,370
Ronald Williams, who died in 2008?

266
00:11:34,734 --> 00:11:36,597
Why are you holding onto his car?

267
00:11:36,885 --> 00:11:39,245
I'm a sentimental guy, yo.

268
00:11:39,745 --> 00:11:40,823
Your Honor?

269
00:11:40,848 --> 00:11:42,756
Knock it off, Glen.

270
00:11:42,825 --> 00:11:45,517
Sorry, it's just so fun.

271
00:11:47,157 --> 00:11:50,330
This phone was on your
person when you were arrested.

272
00:11:50,769 --> 00:11:53,777
It's a 20-year-old
Nokia 8265.

273
00:11:54,003 --> 00:11:55,102
Is this your phone?

274
00:11:55,170 --> 00:11:56,798
- Yes.
- Hmm.

275
00:11:56,828 --> 00:11:58,528
I'd think you'd have a smartphone,

276
00:11:58,941 --> 00:12:00,907
cool guy like you with a cool hat.

277
00:12:02,167 --> 00:12:05,112
Uh, I like to kick it old school?

278
00:12:05,586 --> 00:12:09,426
Or is it because an old
phone like this has no GPS,

279
00:12:09,552 --> 00:12:12,946
making it impossible for the
police to track your movements?

280
00:12:13,572 --> 00:12:17,524
Is it because, in fact,
this phone is widely used

281
00:12:17,549 --> 00:12:20,737
by drug dealers everywhere
for exactly those reasons?

282
00:12:20,762 --> 00:12:23,030
Objection. She's making an argument.

283
00:12:23,055 --> 00:12:26,944
Your Honor, the defendant
claims he is not a drug dealer,

284
00:12:26,969 --> 00:12:29,102
but he hides drugs like a drug dealer,

285
00:12:29,127 --> 00:12:31,815
he uses an old phone like a drug dealer.

286
00:12:31,840 --> 00:12:34,408
He rents multiple motel rooms

287
00:12:34,433 --> 00:12:37,214
to avoid search warrants
like a drug dealer.

288
00:12:37,239 --> 00:12:39,364
Where'd she get all of this?
None of it was in the file.

289
00:12:39,389 --> 00:12:41,715
It was all in the file, but
your childhood was too happy

290
00:12:41,740 --> 00:12:43,120
for you to see it.

291
00:12:44,505 --> 00:12:46,320
What's that supposed to mean?

292
00:12:46,388 --> 00:12:48,776
It means this is the world I grew up in.

293
00:12:48,801 --> 00:12:50,634
My mother was a drug dealer, yo.

294
00:12:51,515 --> 00:12:52,559
And to be honest,

295
00:12:52,628 --> 00:12:55,062
I've had my share of dark years, too.

296
00:12:55,087 --> 00:12:57,107
Do you ever wonder why I'm
the oldest one in this class?

297
00:12:57,132 --> 00:12:58,398
- I did.
- Me, too.

298
00:12:58,423 --> 00:13:00,202
I wondered as well, but
I'm not allowed to ask.

299
00:13:01,194 --> 00:13:03,366
'Cause it was a long road to get here.

300
00:13:03,391 --> 00:13:06,440
I-I drank, I did
drugs, I was a stripper.

301
00:13:06,508 --> 00:13:09,456
That has nothing to do with
this, but now it's out there.

302
00:13:10,751 --> 00:13:11,855
Point is,

303
00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:15,949
I-I know how drug dealers work,
and this scumbag is guilty.

304
00:13:17,006 --> 00:13:18,284
(sighs)

305
00:13:18,617 --> 00:13:20,231
The prosecution rests.

306
00:13:24,409 --> 00:13:27,294
FYI, my parents got divorced
and they used me as a weapon,

307
00:13:27,319 --> 00:13:28,784
so whatever.

308
00:13:32,367 --> 00:13:34,501
(moaning)

309
00:13:34,526 --> 00:13:35,780
(sobbing)

310
00:13:35,805 --> 00:13:37,831
Hey, sounds like you're doing better.

311
00:13:39,013 --> 00:13:40,050
I'm not.

312
00:13:40,075 --> 00:13:42,515
Well, you've got a while before
the next pill, but until then,

313
00:13:42,544 --> 00:13:44,416
I've got ice cream,
pudding and apple sauce.

314
00:13:44,441 --> 00:13:45,874
Give me pudding.

315
00:13:45,899 --> 00:13:47,524
Chocolate or butterscotch?

316
00:13:47,549 --> 00:13:49,980
Chocolate. Don't ask dumb questions.

317
00:13:51,128 --> 00:13:53,286
Fine. More butterscotch for me.

318
00:13:53,373 --> 00:13:55,661
You know, the whole world's missing out.

319
00:13:58,159 --> 00:14:00,394
(whispering): Yes.

320
00:14:00,419 --> 00:14:01,823
No.

321
00:14:02,910 --> 00:14:04,742
Come on, Tammy, dig deep.

322
00:14:04,767 --> 00:14:06,272
Use as directed.

323
00:14:08,437 --> 00:14:10,253
"Every four hours"?

324
00:14:11,026 --> 00:14:13,874
Hey, Tammy, I took a
shot at some Cool Whip.

325
00:14:13,899 --> 00:14:15,786
Thought it might jazz up your pudding...

326
00:14:15,811 --> 00:14:18,678
Four hours! Every four hours!

327
00:14:18,747 --> 00:14:21,047
Not six, not five.

328
00:14:21,116 --> 00:14:23,016
- Four!
- Okay, okay.

329
00:14:23,041 --> 00:14:25,863
Let's just keep this table
between us and I'll explain.

330
00:14:25,888 --> 00:14:27,387
While it's technically true

331
00:14:27,412 --> 00:14:28,978
you can have a pill every four hours,

332
00:14:29,003 --> 00:14:30,401
I made an executive decision

333
00:14:30,426 --> 00:14:31,525
to see if we could stretch it to six,

334
00:14:31,550 --> 00:14:32,703
and I think we're doing great.

335
00:14:32,728 --> 00:14:34,261
Why would you make me suffer?

336
00:14:34,286 --> 00:14:35,722
Because I love you.

337
00:14:36,656 --> 00:14:38,494
You do?

338
00:14:39,159 --> 00:14:40,825
O-Of course.

339
00:14:43,023 --> 00:14:44,623
(sighs) Come here.

340
00:14:45,603 --> 00:14:47,541
I still think you can last six hours.

341
00:14:47,566 --> 00:14:49,066
You're a dead woman!

342
00:14:49,091 --> 00:14:51,706
Stop putting furniture between us.

343
00:14:53,871 --> 00:14:55,971
I've done this with cops for hours.

344
00:14:59,621 --> 00:15:01,204
I can go all night.

345
00:15:05,268 --> 00:15:07,589
I just feel so lost right now.

346
00:15:09,164 --> 00:15:10,931
I thought I could trust you.

347
00:15:11,362 --> 00:15:13,567
You're the closest
thing I have to a sister.

348
00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:16,956
You can trust me.

349
00:15:18,644 --> 00:15:20,874
I'm really just trying to protect you.

350
00:15:20,899 --> 00:15:23,628
These pills can be really dangerous.

351
00:15:24,084 --> 00:15:26,889
I know, I'm just... headlock!

352
00:15:29,017 --> 00:15:30,584
Ow!

353
00:15:30,609 --> 00:15:32,776
(gasps) That was so mean.

354
00:15:32,801 --> 00:15:34,834
- You put me in a headlock.
- That was a hug.

355
00:15:34,859 --> 00:15:36,628
You yelled "headlock!"

356
00:15:42,899 --> 00:15:47,300
Tammy, a couple years
ago, I hurt my back.

357
00:15:47,532 --> 00:15:51,100
They gave me these things and I
was convinced I could handle it.

358
00:15:51,602 --> 00:15:54,274
But it wasn't long before
one pill every four hours

359
00:15:54,343 --> 00:15:56,292
became four pills every one hour.

360
00:15:56,745 --> 00:15:59,279
I'm sorry, but this disease
is a sneaky little bitch,

361
00:15:59,304 --> 00:16:01,019
and I just don't want
you to wake her up.

362
00:16:02,879 --> 00:16:05,133
I hate you right now.

363
00:16:05,649 --> 00:16:06,922
And I love you.

364
00:16:07,659 --> 00:16:09,719
I definitely don't want to relapse.

365
00:16:10,447 --> 00:16:13,377
So it's been four hours.

366
00:16:13,906 --> 00:16:15,009
Do you want a pill?

367
00:16:15,847 --> 00:16:18,120
No. I'm gonna try to make it six.

368
00:16:18,904 --> 00:16:20,716
Five and a half.

369
00:16:22,092 --> 00:16:23,615
- Here you go.
- Thank you.

370
00:16:27,747 --> 00:16:28,986
You wanted to see me?

371
00:16:29,011 --> 00:16:30,105
Yes, Christy.

372
00:16:30,130 --> 00:16:32,679
Thanks for coming. Look,
you did a really great job

373
00:16:32,704 --> 00:16:34,070
the other day.

374
00:16:34,268 --> 00:16:36,602
I mean, I think Glen is still weeping.

375
00:16:37,787 --> 00:16:40,855
Yeah. I think I saw
his hat in the trash.

376
00:16:42,323 --> 00:16:45,659
So listen, I want to talk
to you about the internship.

377
00:16:45,849 --> 00:16:47,144
Oh, really?

378
00:16:47,169 --> 00:16:49,829
The internship. I
totally forgot about that.

379
00:16:50,296 --> 00:16:52,530
I'm giving it to Lisa.

380
00:16:53,042 --> 00:16:56,050
What? No. I destroyed her in mock trial.

381
00:16:56,075 --> 00:16:58,382
- I know you did, but...
- I know what's going on here.

382
00:16:58,776 --> 00:17:00,640
You find out I have a sketchy past,

383
00:17:00,665 --> 00:17:03,315
and all of a sudden, I am not
welcome at your snooty law firm.

384
00:17:03,623 --> 00:17:04,955
Christy, if you would allow me...

385
00:17:04,980 --> 00:17:06,503
I worked my ass off to get here.

386
00:17:06,528 --> 00:17:08,381
And yes, I said "ass," I was a stripper.

387
00:17:08,406 --> 00:17:10,611
I don't know why I
keep bringing that up.

388
00:17:12,269 --> 00:17:13,630
My law firm would like to offer you

389
00:17:13,655 --> 00:17:15,604
a paying position this summer.

390
00:17:16,568 --> 00:17:20,331
Oh, my God. Thank you.

391
00:17:20,904 --> 00:17:23,761
I'm not allowed to hug you
back, but congratulations.

392
00:17:24,489 --> 00:17:27,056
Right, right.

393
00:17:33,307 --> 00:17:35,550
I just wanna get something off my chest.

394
00:17:36,503 --> 00:17:40,135
For three years, I've mislead you
all to believe something about me.

395
00:17:40,448 --> 00:17:43,165
She used to be a man. I told you.

396
00:17:45,340 --> 00:17:48,664
It's... very difficult to say

397
00:17:49,477 --> 00:17:51,477
But I um...

398
00:17:52,789 --> 00:17:55,097
I never actually watched Breaking Bad.

399
00:17:55,122 --> 00:17:57,122
- OTHERS: Ooh!
- I know, I know!

400
00:17:57,146 --> 00:17:59,707
But I just couldn't get into it!

401
00:18:00,543 --> 00:18:03,020
And everytime you guys
talked about it...

402
00:18:03,045 --> 00:18:04,653
I was faking

403
00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:10,012
You'd all be like "Heisenberg and Jesse"
and I'd say "Yes! Great episode!"

404
00:18:11,645 --> 00:18:15,293
Anyway... (sighs) weight lifted. Thanks

405
00:18:19,082 --> 00:18:21,863
You'd better not be lying
about "Cake Wars"

406
00:18:21,887 --> 00:18:24,410
Of course not!

407
00:18:28,192 --> 00:18:30,340
Would anyone else like to share?

408
00:18:30,365 --> 00:18:33,496
Hey, everybody. I am awesome.

409
00:18:33,737 --> 00:18:35,387
Sorry, just wanted to let you know.

410
00:18:35,412 --> 00:18:37,578
Now I have to go to
Gamblers Anonymous. See you.

411
00:18:40,193 --> 00:18:41,613
Does anybody else think

412
00:18:41,638 --> 00:18:43,972
confident Christy is super annoying?

413
00:18:44,777 --> 00:18:48,010
- I'll go. Hi, Bonnie, alcoholic.
- GROUP: Hi, Bonnie.

414
00:18:48,035 --> 00:18:50,047
I know you don't hear
this a lot from me,

415
00:18:50,072 --> 00:18:52,254
but I am really proud of myself.

416
00:18:55,904 --> 00:18:59,039
I have a sober friend
who had dental work done

417
00:18:59,064 --> 00:19:01,715
- and needed pain pills.
- She's talking about me.

418
00:19:03,492 --> 00:19:06,260
And I was the one who held them for her.

419
00:19:06,285 --> 00:19:08,528
Now, the amazing thing
is, the whole time,

420
00:19:08,553 --> 00:19:11,535
I never once thought
about taking a pill myself.

421
00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:14,363
All I could think about was
taking care of my friend.

422
00:19:14,388 --> 00:19:17,967
And it led me to a discovery,
one that I have mastered,

423
00:19:17,992 --> 00:19:19,759
but I think the rest
of you are ready for.

424
00:19:20,543 --> 00:19:22,061
This program

425
00:19:22,086 --> 00:19:24,019
is really about helping other people,

426
00:19:24,044 --> 00:19:28,715
and by helping other
people, I helped myself.

427
00:19:32,129 --> 00:19:34,296
Think about that.

428
00:19:36,415 --> 00:19:39,434
And if I'm the first
person to recognize that,

429
00:19:39,675 --> 00:19:42,276
let it be my gift to you.

430
00:19:44,942 --> 00:19:47,019
I'm going back to Canada.