1 00:00:01,302 --> 00:00:03,356 - Previously on Mom... - You forgot to wear 2 00:00:03,361 --> 00:00:06,106 the only diamond earrings you've ever had? 3 00:00:06,111 --> 00:00:08,010 Where was the last place you saw them? 4 00:00:08,015 --> 00:00:09,242 In the middle of a poker table. 5 00:00:09,266 --> 00:00:10,682 Anything but seven. 6 00:00:12,546 --> 00:00:13,712 Seven out. 7 00:00:13,737 --> 00:00:16,172 No! That's my mom's bail money. 8 00:00:16,177 --> 00:00:18,207 I can give you a coupon to the buffet. 9 00:00:18,231 --> 00:00:19,711 Can I bet it? 10 00:00:19,716 --> 00:00:22,271 - The money's gone. - Christy, it is time to admit 11 00:00:22,296 --> 00:00:24,312 you've got another problem. 12 00:00:25,310 --> 00:00:26,448 Why aren't you eating? 13 00:00:26,708 --> 00:00:29,140 I just came from a Gamblers Anonymous meeting. 14 00:00:29,225 --> 00:00:31,441 - Their food puts AA to shame. - Hmm. 15 00:00:31,466 --> 00:00:34,896 One guy makes jambalaya with his own alligator sausage. 16 00:00:34,948 --> 00:00:37,865 Oh, poor alligator. 17 00:00:37,901 --> 00:00:41,068 So you probably don't want to hear about the baby lamb chops. 18 00:00:41,669 --> 00:00:43,237 I do not. 19 00:00:43,895 --> 00:00:45,595 But I'm glad GA's working for you. 20 00:00:45,625 --> 00:00:48,743 The food's working, but I don't know about the rest of it. 21 00:00:49,021 --> 00:00:51,746 Most of the shares are old guys talking about horse racing, 22 00:00:51,831 --> 00:00:54,499 and the "good old days," when you could smoke inside. 23 00:00:54,817 --> 00:00:56,817 Those were good days, Christy. 24 00:00:58,654 --> 00:01:00,770 Damn, what I'd give to finish my ciggy 25 00:01:00,795 --> 00:01:03,257 and stub it out in these mashed potatoes. 26 00:01:04,068 --> 00:01:07,098 The thing is, in AA, we give up drugs and alcohol 27 00:01:07,123 --> 00:01:10,097 'cause... holy cow, do we like drugs and alcohol. 28 00:01:10,576 --> 00:01:11,566 But in GA, 29 00:01:11,601 --> 00:01:14,101 I have to give up stuff I don't even have a problem with. 30 00:01:14,405 --> 00:01:15,717 I can't play bingo. 31 00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:18,062 Bingo. How is that gonna destroy my life? 32 00:01:18,067 --> 00:01:20,016 I lost an aunt to church bingo. 33 00:01:20,178 --> 00:01:22,220 There's a dark side to that game. 34 00:01:22,280 --> 00:01:23,862 I'm not even supposed to flip a coin, 35 00:01:23,887 --> 00:01:26,782 which frankly, is the only way to get my mom to do anything. 36 00:01:26,868 --> 00:01:29,368 Look, you just got started in GA. 37 00:01:29,454 --> 00:01:31,120 Y-You got to give it a chance. 38 00:01:31,205 --> 00:01:33,706 I didn't just start, I got my 90 day key chain today. 39 00:01:33,791 --> 00:01:36,275 You did? Congratulations. 40 00:01:36,300 --> 00:01:39,211 For what? When I got sober for 90 days, 41 00:01:39,236 --> 00:01:41,023 that was a huge accomplishment. 42 00:01:41,048 --> 00:01:42,715 I mean, I wanted a parade. 43 00:01:42,767 --> 00:01:43,966 And I'm not talking 44 00:01:44,051 --> 00:01:45,718 three Shriners in a convertible, 45 00:01:45,743 --> 00:01:48,697 I'm talking Al Roker pointing up at a giant inflatable me. 46 00:01:48,702 --> 00:01:51,444 Sometimes I think your problem is low self-esteem. 47 00:01:51,469 --> 00:01:53,230 Other times, not so much. 48 00:01:54,912 --> 00:01:57,496 Yeah, well, I've made up my mind. 49 00:01:58,037 --> 00:01:59,965 I'm gonna stop going to GA. 50 00:02:00,194 --> 00:02:01,600 As it is, 51 00:02:01,636 --> 00:02:04,053 I don't even have time for the things I need to do. 52 00:02:04,138 --> 00:02:05,388 Like what? 53 00:02:05,871 --> 00:02:07,350 Well, like... 54 00:02:12,377 --> 00:02:14,202 I just don't want to go anymore. 55 00:02:17,218 --> 00:02:19,118 BONNIE: There she is. 56 00:02:19,153 --> 00:02:21,319 Show me that 90 day key chain. 57 00:02:21,739 --> 00:02:24,323 Yeah, Mom, about that. 58 00:02:24,741 --> 00:02:26,075 I think I'm actually just gonna... 59 00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:28,313 ALL: Surprise! 60 00:02:29,497 --> 00:02:31,063 Surprise. 61 00:02:31,464 --> 00:02:32,680 Oh, my God. 62 00:02:32,705 --> 00:02:34,671 We are so proud of you. 63 00:02:34,696 --> 00:02:36,669 You had a problem, and you addressed it 64 00:02:36,721 --> 00:02:38,836 with another program. It's inspiring. 65 00:02:38,861 --> 00:02:41,394 You guys, this is so totally unnecessary. 66 00:02:41,419 --> 00:02:43,836 That's what I said. I mean, when did we start doing this? 67 00:02:45,304 --> 00:02:49,014 Seriously, this girl sneezes, and we throw her a party. 68 00:02:49,100 --> 00:02:50,382 Shush. 69 00:02:50,794 --> 00:02:52,376 I made a cake. 70 00:02:52,499 --> 00:02:53,866 You made that? 71 00:02:54,689 --> 00:02:56,939 You didn't just take it out of Marjorie's hand 72 00:02:56,964 --> 00:02:58,297 when she walked in the door? 73 00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:01,358 I made it from scratch. 74 00:03:01,383 --> 00:03:03,383 Out of the box. 75 00:03:04,608 --> 00:03:06,874 Maybe I don't know what scratch means. 76 00:03:29,545 --> 00:03:30,794 Let me get this straight. 77 00:03:30,879 --> 00:03:32,379 Your mom made you a cake, 78 00:03:32,464 --> 00:03:34,418 and that's gonna keep you in Gamblers Anonymous? 79 00:03:34,443 --> 00:03:35,609 You don't understand. 80 00:03:35,661 --> 00:03:37,535 She has never baked me a cake. 81 00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:39,402 One birthday, she gave me a martini olive 82 00:03:39,427 --> 00:03:40,747 with a candle in it. 83 00:03:40,852 --> 00:03:42,351 That's so sad. 84 00:03:42,376 --> 00:03:44,789 Not really, I got a little buzz off it. 85 00:03:45,146 --> 00:03:48,461 I don't usually do this. I'm gonna give you a hug. 86 00:03:49,587 --> 00:03:53,774 Aw. You're like a blanket right out of the dryer. 87 00:03:54,456 --> 00:03:57,196 You know, if you're gonna stick with GA, 88 00:03:57,221 --> 00:03:59,271 you might want to give it an honest try. 89 00:03:59,296 --> 00:04:02,037 - I've been trying. - Oh. Have you shared? 90 00:04:02,267 --> 00:04:04,741 - No. - Have you made any friends? 91 00:04:04,766 --> 00:04:07,937 - No. - Do you have a sponsor? 92 00:04:08,022 --> 00:04:10,305 Stop trying to trick me, just tell me what to do. 93 00:04:10,338 --> 00:04:11,993 Any of the three things I just said. 94 00:04:13,012 --> 00:04:14,962 (sputters) 95 00:04:17,954 --> 00:04:21,008 Good Lord, it's like a Sizzler up in there. 96 00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:30,126 Hi, I'm Christy. 97 00:04:30,151 --> 00:04:31,813 Lucy. How you doing? 98 00:04:31,953 --> 00:04:33,752 Okay, I guess. 99 00:04:34,303 --> 00:04:36,103 I'm looking for a sponsor. 100 00:04:39,188 --> 00:04:40,782 Geez, you mean me? 101 00:04:41,287 --> 00:04:43,336 I got three days. 102 00:04:43,782 --> 00:04:47,283 That new casino off Highway 12 is killing me. 103 00:04:48,180 --> 00:04:51,344 - I haven't been there. - Oh, it's great. 104 00:04:51,369 --> 00:04:52,774 The chairs by the slots? 105 00:04:52,799 --> 00:04:54,266 Super comfortable. 106 00:04:54,291 --> 00:04:56,657 I don't even have to bring my butt cushion. 107 00:04:57,389 --> 00:05:00,307 I'm gonna see if there's any cornbread left. 108 00:05:00,658 --> 00:05:02,172 Good luck. 109 00:05:03,534 --> 00:05:04,962 I wouldn't shout "good luck" in here. 110 00:05:04,987 --> 00:05:06,891 People get a little twitchy. 111 00:05:08,118 --> 00:05:09,571 Oh, right. Sorry. 112 00:05:09,596 --> 00:05:11,963 I'm kidding. Hi, I'm Ned. 113 00:05:11,988 --> 00:05:13,055 Christy. 114 00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:14,875 Saw you take a key chain yesterday. 115 00:05:15,211 --> 00:05:16,632 How's it going? 116 00:05:17,139 --> 00:05:18,471 Okay. 117 00:05:18,955 --> 00:05:21,789 I mean... I'm not sure. 118 00:05:22,619 --> 00:05:24,422 Can I be honest with you, Ned? 119 00:05:25,175 --> 00:05:28,172 - I don't think I belong here. - Want to bet? 120 00:05:29,641 --> 00:05:30,852 I'm serious. 121 00:05:30,877 --> 00:05:33,377 I've had three major gambling incidents. 122 00:05:33,402 --> 00:05:36,669 Three times in my whole life. Is that an addiction? 123 00:05:36,694 --> 00:05:39,618 'Cause if so, then I'm also addicted to Intro to Algebra. 124 00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:44,609 Hey, Mr. Munson. Whatcha doing? 125 00:05:44,634 --> 00:05:46,585 Waiting for my friend who promised 126 00:05:46,610 --> 00:05:48,946 to take me to my radiation treatment. 127 00:05:48,971 --> 00:05:52,469 Oh, God. What kind of heartless friend forgets to... 128 00:05:56,485 --> 00:05:59,019 Oh, my God, it's me, isn't it? 129 00:05:59,350 --> 00:06:00,983 I am so sorry. 130 00:06:01,008 --> 00:06:03,175 Time flies when you're hosing out a dumpster. 131 00:06:03,699 --> 00:06:06,856 Can you give me, uh, 20 minutes to get cleaned up? 132 00:06:06,941 --> 00:06:09,558 Well, let me check with my cancer. 133 00:06:14,928 --> 00:06:16,528 What do you think, boss? 134 00:06:19,873 --> 00:06:22,384 Mr. Prostate said we got to go. 135 00:06:26,980 --> 00:06:29,612 For years I was just a racetrack guy. 136 00:06:29,664 --> 00:06:31,980 Then the racetrack opened a poker club. 137 00:06:32,005 --> 00:06:34,870 Which was convenient, until it cost me my job. 138 00:06:34,895 --> 00:06:37,519 But... I figured, see, that was a good thing, 139 00:06:37,544 --> 00:06:39,870 because it was obvious I was gonna make more money gambling 140 00:06:39,895 --> 00:06:42,195 than I would selling retractable canvas awnings. 141 00:06:44,033 --> 00:06:46,936 And then I took a second mortgage out on the house, 142 00:06:47,071 --> 00:06:48,404 without telling my wife. 143 00:06:48,683 --> 00:06:49,966 And when you get away 144 00:06:50,018 --> 00:06:52,101 with a secret second mortgage, 145 00:06:52,137 --> 00:06:53,998 then it's obvious that the universe is telling you 146 00:06:54,146 --> 00:06:56,429 to dip into your daughter's college fund. 147 00:06:58,393 --> 00:07:01,249 - Was that your bottom? - (chuckles): No, no. 148 00:07:01,274 --> 00:07:02,789 That was a couple of years later, 149 00:07:02,814 --> 00:07:04,614 when I was lying in the street 150 00:07:04,649 --> 00:07:07,827 with a broken kneecap and my teeth scattered all around me. 151 00:07:09,014 --> 00:07:11,904 Yikes, I thought that only happened in the movies. 152 00:07:11,929 --> 00:07:14,522 No, it also happens in Oakland. 153 00:07:15,546 --> 00:07:16,764 Um... 154 00:07:16,789 --> 00:07:22,124 One of my bookie's "colleagues" beat me with a flashlight. 155 00:07:22,333 --> 00:07:24,133 And then he kicked me, and he said, 156 00:07:24,169 --> 00:07:25,788 "You still owe us the money," which to me seemed, 157 00:07:25,813 --> 00:07:27,960 you know, a bit unfair. 158 00:07:29,257 --> 00:07:30,593 Wow. 159 00:07:30,618 --> 00:07:32,652 So I went to a Gamblers Anonymous meeting 160 00:07:32,677 --> 00:07:34,155 before I even went to the dentist, and of course, 161 00:07:34,179 --> 00:07:35,678 I should've gone to the dentist first, 162 00:07:35,839 --> 00:07:38,290 because nobody could understand a word I was saying. 163 00:07:40,048 --> 00:07:44,851 That was 22 year ago, and, uh, it saved my life. 164 00:07:46,085 --> 00:07:47,523 See, that's the thing. 165 00:07:47,575 --> 00:07:51,254 I sit in meetings and hear story after story like yours, 166 00:07:51,279 --> 00:07:54,225 but I don't relate to any of it. 167 00:07:54,250 --> 00:07:56,177 My gambling looked nothing like that. 168 00:07:56,534 --> 00:07:58,655 Well, there are two types of gamblers. 169 00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:01,370 There are... cucumbers and there are pickles. 170 00:08:01,905 --> 00:08:03,339 A cucumber goes 171 00:08:03,374 --> 00:08:05,458 to Vegas and loses a little money 172 00:08:05,483 --> 00:08:06,816 or maybe even a lot of money, 173 00:08:06,841 --> 00:08:08,725 and then goes back to a regular life. 174 00:08:09,100 --> 00:08:12,215 A pickle goes to Vegas, loses everything 175 00:08:12,463 --> 00:08:14,412 and then moves to Vegas. 176 00:08:15,741 --> 00:08:17,491 I'm pretty sure I'm a cucumber. 177 00:08:17,516 --> 00:08:19,655 You may be, but you got to remember 178 00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:21,847 that a cucumber can become a pickle. 179 00:08:21,872 --> 00:08:24,733 But a pickle can never go back to being a cucumber. 180 00:08:25,624 --> 00:08:27,480 So how do I know which one I am? 181 00:08:27,565 --> 00:08:30,900 You could try a little controlled gambling, 182 00:08:30,952 --> 00:08:32,499 see how that goes. 183 00:08:35,716 --> 00:08:38,554 A-Are you telling me to gamble? 184 00:08:40,054 --> 00:08:41,854 Is this a trap? I... 185 00:08:42,413 --> 00:08:45,047 If you can gamble a little and then stop, 186 00:08:45,083 --> 00:08:47,835 well, more than likely, you don't have a problem. 187 00:08:47,860 --> 00:08:50,897 But you got to be careful, 'cause if it triggers 188 00:08:50,922 --> 00:08:54,866 a-a bigger binge, well, then you got to call me. 189 00:08:57,107 --> 00:08:58,398 Okay. Mm-hmm. 190 00:09:00,105 --> 00:09:02,906 I got to tell you, it's really weird 191 00:09:02,934 --> 00:09:05,518 to take recovery advice from a guy who's drinking a beer. 192 00:09:05,543 --> 00:09:07,460 Mm. 193 00:09:07,485 --> 00:09:09,619 Hard cider, but I feel you. 194 00:09:13,611 --> 00:09:15,158 How you feeling? 195 00:09:15,410 --> 00:09:18,525 My advice? Don't get cancer. 196 00:09:20,119 --> 00:09:21,918 Making a mental note. 197 00:09:21,953 --> 00:09:24,287 Mm. What kind of car is this? 198 00:09:24,312 --> 00:09:25,528 An '85 Firebird. 199 00:09:25,553 --> 00:09:28,713 Whoo, oh, that is a sweet ride. 200 00:09:28,738 --> 00:09:30,736 Yeah. It was in 1985. 201 00:09:32,862 --> 00:09:36,447 Now it's 3,000 pounds of scrap metal and a cassette player. 202 00:09:36,717 --> 00:09:39,134 Well, well, still, I appreciate you driving me. 203 00:09:39,159 --> 00:09:40,742 It's the least I can do. 204 00:09:40,767 --> 00:09:42,128 Well, I would argue the least you can do 205 00:09:42,153 --> 00:09:43,936 is remember you said you would do it. 206 00:09:45,693 --> 00:09:47,977 Again, sorry about that. 207 00:09:48,666 --> 00:09:50,354 Want to make it up to me? 208 00:09:50,497 --> 00:09:54,682 - We've been over this. I'm engaged. - Oh, no, no, no. 209 00:09:55,642 --> 00:09:58,142 I'm thinking you could let me drive. 210 00:09:59,025 --> 00:10:00,455 You're blind. 211 00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:04,502 I am? Well, at least I'm still white and rich. 212 00:10:05,663 --> 00:10:08,416 I don't think you driving is a good idea. 213 00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:11,275 It's a terrible idea. I know that. 214 00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:14,775 But right now, cancer is in charge of everything. 215 00:10:15,158 --> 00:10:17,006 I'd like to be in control of something 216 00:10:17,058 --> 00:10:18,341 for a couple of minutes. 217 00:10:18,366 --> 00:10:21,213 Even if it's only an old Firebird. 218 00:10:22,980 --> 00:10:24,646 (tires screeching) 219 00:10:27,205 --> 00:10:28,712 BONNIE: Light pole dead ahead! 220 00:10:28,736 --> 00:10:29,852 MUNSON: Oh! 221 00:10:29,904 --> 00:10:31,854 BONNIE: Ah! 222 00:10:31,906 --> 00:10:33,861 Ooh. Oh, what is this, a V-8? 223 00:10:33,886 --> 00:10:36,466 - V-6, and please, slow down. - (chuckles) 224 00:10:46,066 --> 00:10:49,150 I baked you a cake! 225 00:10:50,385 --> 00:10:54,460 - What? - You're gambling? You had 90 days. 226 00:10:54,485 --> 00:10:57,260 It's okay, this is called "controlled gambling." 227 00:10:57,285 --> 00:10:59,541 (scoffs) You can't control anything. 228 00:10:59,566 --> 00:11:02,116 And I've known you almost your entire life. 229 00:11:03,959 --> 00:11:05,791 I bought ten scratchers. 230 00:11:05,816 --> 00:11:08,033 I'm gonna do three of them and leave the rest. 231 00:11:08,058 --> 00:11:10,024 Which will prove I can stop whenever I want. 232 00:11:10,049 --> 00:11:11,486 This is insane. 233 00:11:11,511 --> 00:11:13,591 This is like when I said I could drink on an airplane 234 00:11:13,616 --> 00:11:16,057 because I'm not technically on planet Earth. 235 00:11:17,307 --> 00:11:20,346 You're never technically on planet Earth. 236 00:11:20,371 --> 00:11:24,299 Now back off. Ned from my GA meeting told me to do this. 237 00:11:25,188 --> 00:11:26,603 Ned? 238 00:11:27,286 --> 00:11:30,541 Okay, which one of you idiots is Ned?! 239 00:11:33,383 --> 00:11:35,216 All right, I'm gonna have a meatball sandwich, 240 00:11:35,241 --> 00:11:36,373 and then we're gonna talk. 241 00:11:43,585 --> 00:11:46,779 She barged into my GA meeting like a cracked out giraffe 242 00:11:46,804 --> 00:11:48,420 and yelled at the guy who's helping me. 243 00:11:48,472 --> 00:11:51,474 I didn't yell, I don't yell. I don't have to yell. 244 00:11:51,499 --> 00:11:52,615 You yell all the time. 245 00:11:52,667 --> 00:11:54,450 Do you want me to yell? 'Cause I'll yell. 246 00:11:55,642 --> 00:11:57,310 You kind of asked for that. 247 00:11:58,649 --> 00:12:01,504 Look, I had my doubts about whether I need GA, 248 00:12:01,529 --> 00:12:03,887 and Ned suggested I try controlled gambling. 249 00:12:03,912 --> 00:12:05,271 Ridiculous, right? 250 00:12:05,296 --> 00:12:07,702 - Well, actually, Bonnie... - Work with me! 251 00:12:08,539 --> 00:12:10,139 Yelling. 252 00:12:11,392 --> 00:12:13,350 When a newcomer is really struggling 253 00:12:13,375 --> 00:12:15,137 with doubts about being an alcoholic, 254 00:12:15,189 --> 00:12:18,224 I have suggested trying some controlled drinking. 255 00:12:18,249 --> 00:12:20,249 Why wasn't that offered to me? 256 00:12:20,834 --> 00:12:22,311 Because you came to your first meeting 257 00:12:22,363 --> 00:12:23,812 on a stolen lawnmower. 258 00:12:24,662 --> 00:12:26,115 You weren't there. 259 00:12:26,150 --> 00:12:28,784 She didn't have to be. That story's legendary. 260 00:12:28,819 --> 00:12:30,155 I heard all you were wearing were 261 00:12:30,180 --> 00:12:31,846 go-go boots and a hockey jersey. 262 00:12:32,133 --> 00:12:33,264 Is that true? 263 00:12:33,289 --> 00:12:35,101 Yeah, Wendy, I got kicked out of a hockey game. 264 00:12:35,126 --> 00:12:36,708 I couldn't find my car or my pants. 265 00:12:38,027 --> 00:12:40,527 Over the past week, I've played lotto twice, 266 00:12:40,552 --> 00:12:42,185 did a little online poker. 267 00:12:42,389 --> 00:12:44,833 Even bet a busboy I could work an entire shift 268 00:12:44,858 --> 00:12:46,584 without saying the word "enjoy." 269 00:12:46,981 --> 00:12:48,564 So I went with mangia, 270 00:12:48,589 --> 00:12:50,256 but it made everyone uncomfortable. 271 00:12:51,926 --> 00:12:53,748 But the point is, none of it triggered me, 272 00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,750 which proves I am not addicted to gambling. 273 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:56,979 Yes, you are. 274 00:12:57,014 --> 00:12:58,180 Maybe Christy's right. 275 00:12:58,232 --> 00:12:59,743 I mean, I know someone who got really drunk 276 00:12:59,767 --> 00:13:01,850 on New Year's Eve, slept with her Uber driver, 277 00:13:01,875 --> 00:13:04,366 and mistook a neighborhood raccoon for her cat. 278 00:13:05,740 --> 00:13:07,690 She got herpes and rabies in one night, 279 00:13:07,715 --> 00:13:09,431 but she's not an alcoholic. 280 00:13:10,517 --> 00:13:11,683 There you go. 281 00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:14,959 I'm the gambling version of her disease-riddled friend. 282 00:13:15,577 --> 00:13:18,200 And later, if you do discover you have a problem, 283 00:13:18,225 --> 00:13:20,217 - you know where to go. - Well... 284 00:13:20,767 --> 00:13:23,514 everyone at this table can suck it. 285 00:13:25,915 --> 00:13:28,248 I gambled three times. You keep saying that, 286 00:13:28,273 --> 00:13:30,553 but you've always been a degenerate gambler. 287 00:13:30,578 --> 00:13:31,780 What are you talking about? 288 00:13:31,805 --> 00:13:33,116 By the time you were in third grade, 289 00:13:33,141 --> 00:13:34,723 you were hustling drunks at pool. 290 00:13:34,748 --> 00:13:36,831 That's 'cause someone used the bar at the bus station 291 00:13:36,856 --> 00:13:38,053 as day care. 292 00:13:38,078 --> 00:13:41,246 It takes a village, Christy. 293 00:13:41,271 --> 00:13:42,858 And the syrup goes in the fridge 294 00:13:42,893 --> 00:13:44,893 unless you also want to gamble with botulism. 295 00:13:45,361 --> 00:13:47,694 "Refrigerate after opening." 296 00:13:53,584 --> 00:13:56,572 It's like you want me to have a gambling problem 297 00:13:56,597 --> 00:13:58,217 just so you can be right; you're rooting against me. 298 00:13:58,242 --> 00:13:59,491 Rooting against you? 299 00:13:59,516 --> 00:14:01,210 Did I not stand in this very kitchen 300 00:14:01,245 --> 00:14:03,829 and spend ten hours making you a cake? 301 00:14:05,045 --> 00:14:07,623 You are on your way to getting a law degree, 302 00:14:07,648 --> 00:14:10,112 and if you're not careful you can kiss that dream good-bye. 303 00:14:10,137 --> 00:14:12,388 You know what I think? I think all you care about 304 00:14:12,423 --> 00:14:14,187 is that I become a lawyer so you're off the hook. 305 00:14:14,212 --> 00:14:16,258 What hook? In your twisted mind, 306 00:14:16,283 --> 00:14:18,404 if I become a success, then it won't matter 307 00:14:18,429 --> 00:14:19,998 that you were the world's worst mother. 308 00:14:20,023 --> 00:14:21,523 Well, guess what. 309 00:14:21,548 --> 00:14:23,098 You'll never be off the hook 310 00:14:23,150 --> 00:14:24,933 no matter how many terrible cakes you make. 311 00:14:24,985 --> 00:14:27,353 - You said it was delicious. - I lied! 312 00:14:28,554 --> 00:14:30,170 It tasted like salad dressing. 313 00:14:30,195 --> 00:14:31,609 How does that happen? 314 00:14:31,634 --> 00:14:33,300 We were out of milk. 315 00:14:36,447 --> 00:14:38,312 - Whoa. - What? 316 00:14:38,616 --> 00:14:41,417 It's a check for $5,432. 317 00:14:41,452 --> 00:14:44,286 Is it made out to me? Did I sell my book? 318 00:14:44,695 --> 00:14:46,851 No, it's an excess check. 319 00:14:46,876 --> 00:14:50,125 What the hell's an excess check, and how do I get one? 320 00:14:50,211 --> 00:14:52,261 It's left over from my student loan. 321 00:14:52,296 --> 00:14:54,463 It's for school supplies and living expenses. 322 00:14:54,488 --> 00:14:55,608 - Well, then give it to me. - No. 323 00:14:55,633 --> 00:14:58,801 - You can't be trusted. No. - Oh, my God, would you stop? Ugh! 324 00:14:58,826 --> 00:15:01,812 And FYI, no one is buying your young adult novel. 325 00:15:01,837 --> 00:15:04,056 You're a decade late for teenage vampires. 326 00:15:04,531 --> 00:15:07,781 And FYI to you, I changed it to teenage robots. 327 00:15:07,806 --> 00:15:10,140 And one of them's transgender. 328 00:15:14,151 --> 00:15:15,951 I mean, is Christy right? 329 00:15:15,986 --> 00:15:18,404 Am I really so selfish that the only reason 330 00:15:18,429 --> 00:15:20,122 I want my daughter to be a success 331 00:15:20,157 --> 00:15:22,726 is so that I'll feel better about being a bad mom? 332 00:15:27,772 --> 00:15:29,939 I guess it's possible. 333 00:15:30,218 --> 00:15:32,334 I mean, I know I can be selfish. 334 00:15:32,359 --> 00:15:34,029 And if I forget, I've got people reminding me 335 00:15:34,054 --> 00:15:35,609 every ten minutes. 336 00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:42,679 But I think maybe... this time it's about love. 337 00:15:42,704 --> 00:15:44,703 Is that so hard to believe? 338 00:15:49,090 --> 00:15:52,258 Something one could say in this moment... 339 00:15:52,283 --> 00:15:54,078 is that I have indeed changed a little 340 00:15:54,103 --> 00:15:55,668 in the last couple of years. 341 00:15:56,320 --> 00:15:59,320 I do things for other people that don't just benefit me. 342 00:15:59,345 --> 00:16:02,281 Like this ride to the doctor. Nothing in it for me. 343 00:16:02,366 --> 00:16:03,532 Nothing. 344 00:16:04,068 --> 00:16:06,250 Not even conversation. 345 00:16:11,327 --> 00:16:13,821 Are you pouting because I won't let you drive again? 346 00:16:13,846 --> 00:16:15,429 - Yep. - (scoffs) 347 00:16:18,111 --> 00:16:21,946 Hi, Ned, it's Christy from GA, 348 00:16:21,971 --> 00:16:26,210 and, uh, I'm in the parking lot 349 00:16:26,235 --> 00:16:29,031 of that casino off Highway 12. 350 00:16:29,835 --> 00:16:33,265 And I've got $5,000 in my hand. 351 00:16:37,793 --> 00:16:39,640 So, anyway... (chuckles) 352 00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:41,773 hope you're having a good afternoon. 353 00:16:41,950 --> 00:16:44,601 And if you have a chance, call me back. 354 00:16:44,815 --> 00:16:47,399 Okay, thanks. Bye. 355 00:16:51,178 --> 00:16:53,236 Oh, screw it. 356 00:17:05,317 --> 00:17:07,767 Mom, I need your help. 357 00:17:09,994 --> 00:17:11,661 CHRISTY: Don't think about gambling. 358 00:17:11,685 --> 00:17:12,746 Don't think about gambling. 359 00:17:12,770 --> 00:17:13,854 Don't think about blackjack. 360 00:17:13,879 --> 00:17:15,499 Don't think about the Wheel of Fortune slots 361 00:17:15,523 --> 00:17:17,243 with the progressive jackpot that's probably 362 00:17:17,274 --> 00:17:18,955 six figures right now. 363 00:17:19,322 --> 00:17:21,109 What if I just have a shrimp cocktail 364 00:17:21,134 --> 00:17:22,278 and watch other people gamble? 365 00:17:22,303 --> 00:17:23,916 That'd be fine, right? 366 00:17:23,941 --> 00:17:25,781 I think it would be fine. Let's go! 367 00:17:25,806 --> 00:17:28,282 I'm here. I'm here. 368 00:17:28,307 --> 00:17:30,035 Oh, thank God. 369 00:17:30,060 --> 00:17:32,955 Oh, I'm so proud of you for calling me. 370 00:17:32,980 --> 00:17:34,267 You still got the money, right? 371 00:17:34,291 --> 00:17:35,591 Show me the money. Where is it? 372 00:17:35,626 --> 00:17:37,759 I put it in the trunk. It was talking to me. 373 00:17:37,795 --> 00:17:39,489 Okay, don't take this to mean I don't trust you, 374 00:17:39,513 --> 00:17:40,857 but I'm gonna go check if you're lying. 375 00:17:40,881 --> 00:17:43,497 Mom, wait. You were right. 376 00:17:43,886 --> 00:17:45,348 Go on. 377 00:17:47,162 --> 00:17:49,538 I do have a gambling problem. 378 00:17:49,590 --> 00:17:51,457 But only when I have money. 379 00:17:51,482 --> 00:17:53,565 And since I so rarely have money, 380 00:17:53,590 --> 00:17:54,911 it doesn't come up that often. 381 00:17:54,962 --> 00:17:58,194 Man, if we'd been rich, we'd both be dead. 382 00:17:58,959 --> 00:18:01,272 And what I said earlier was unfair. 383 00:18:01,297 --> 00:18:03,469 You really were just looking out for me. 384 00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:07,055 I realize that hasn't always been the case, 385 00:18:07,107 --> 00:18:09,224 so I get why you'd have your doubts. 386 00:18:10,295 --> 00:18:11,936 Wow. 387 00:18:12,331 --> 00:18:14,006 You've really changed. 388 00:18:17,117 --> 00:18:20,369 - And I haven't at all. - Aw... 389 00:18:20,404 --> 00:18:21,904 - (banging on window) - (both gasp) 390 00:18:21,929 --> 00:18:23,811 I got here as fast as I could. 391 00:18:24,459 --> 00:18:26,575 - Did she gamble? - She did not. 392 00:18:26,660 --> 00:18:28,243 Good. Where's the money? 393 00:18:28,268 --> 00:18:30,506 - In the trunk. - Allegedly. 394 00:18:30,831 --> 00:18:32,631 - (banging on window) - (all gasp) 395 00:18:32,656 --> 00:18:35,728 I came as soon as I got the message. Did you gamble? 396 00:18:35,753 --> 00:18:36,718 She did not. 397 00:18:36,754 --> 00:18:38,253 Good. Someone has the money, right? 398 00:18:38,305 --> 00:18:40,722 There are unconfirmed reports that it's in the trunk. 399 00:18:40,758 --> 00:18:42,090 Go look if you don't believe me. 400 00:18:42,115 --> 00:18:43,364 Of course I believe you. 401 00:18:43,389 --> 00:18:44,737 - (banging on window) - (all gasp) 402 00:18:44,770 --> 00:18:46,069 Did we get here in time? 403 00:18:46,096 --> 00:18:48,263 - Yes. - Geez, Mom, did you call everyone? 404 00:18:48,288 --> 00:18:49,704 Yeah. I was really worried. 405 00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:51,779 - Scooch over, I'm coming in. - Okay. 406 00:18:51,936 --> 00:18:53,185 There's no room for me. 407 00:18:53,270 --> 00:18:55,081 Wendy, since you're out there, go look in the trunk and see 408 00:18:55,105 --> 00:18:56,271 if you can find $5,000. 409 00:18:56,323 --> 00:18:57,523 - What? - Just do it! 410 00:18:57,608 --> 00:18:59,024 You don't have to yell. 411 00:19:00,110 --> 00:19:01,443 Thank you. 412 00:19:03,717 --> 00:19:07,209 It means so much to me that you guys are all here. 413 00:19:07,701 --> 00:19:09,918 - I'm sorry I'm such a screw-up. - Oh... 414 00:19:09,954 --> 00:19:11,286 We're all screwups. 415 00:19:11,338 --> 00:19:12,754 That's why we love each other. 416 00:19:12,790 --> 00:19:13,755 WENDY: No money back here. 417 00:19:13,791 --> 00:19:14,967 - Christy! - WENDY: Wait, found it. 418 00:19:14,992 --> 00:19:16,975 I never doubted you. 419 00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:18,822 Give it a quick count. 420 00:19:19,213 --> 00:19:20,629 (phone chiming) 421 00:19:20,654 --> 00:19:22,475 Hang on, guys, I got to take this. 422 00:19:23,290 --> 00:19:24,956 Hi, Ned. 423 00:19:28,618 --> 00:19:31,202 Turns out I'm a pickle. 424 00:19:31,725 --> 00:19:34,138 Uh, Bonnie, I think someone's stealing your car. 425 00:19:34,163 --> 00:19:36,270 Damn it, Mr. Munson! 426 00:19:45,368 --> 00:19:47,233 - Hey. - Hey. 427 00:19:47,258 --> 00:19:50,037 Did you try the bison tacos? 428 00:19:50,571 --> 00:19:54,875 No, I filled up on the buffet at the casino. 429 00:19:55,782 --> 00:19:58,879 - You gambled again? - Yeah. 430 00:19:59,141 --> 00:20:01,524 Another first day. 431 00:20:02,051 --> 00:20:03,805 Pathetic, right? 432 00:20:04,094 --> 00:20:06,854 Not at all. I-I get it. 433 00:20:06,889 --> 00:20:08,522 Thank God we have a place to go. 434 00:20:08,557 --> 00:20:11,558 I know. And so convenient. 435 00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:16,188 Right off the freeway, ample parking, five dollar tables. 436 00:20:17,236 --> 00:20:19,436 - I meant GA. - Oh, right. 437 00:20:19,461 --> 00:20:21,617 Focus, Lucy! 438 00:20:22,578 --> 00:20:25,155 Hey, you want to be my sponsor? 439 00:20:26,157 --> 00:20:28,358 I've only got one day myself. 440 00:20:28,383 --> 00:20:29,576 But, uh... 441 00:20:29,761 --> 00:20:32,813 But let me tell you something that really helped me. 442 00:20:33,299 --> 00:20:35,666 There are two kinds of gamblers: 443 00:20:35,751 --> 00:20:37,918 cucumbers and pickles.