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Previously on Mom...
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So what's been going on?
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Not much, um...
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I got a DUI, my husband left me
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and I tried to commit suicide.
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Oh, my God, you're gonna do great here.
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I do have two things I could hold onto...
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through it all, I've stayed sober,
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and...
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I've also helped someone else stay sober.
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What up, bitches?!
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Ha!
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Hi!
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Okay, one thing.
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Seriously?
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This is a rehab?
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Hmm, it's the address on the Web site.
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"Tomorrow House.
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Where the sun comes out tomorrow."
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I guess this is where Annie got sober.
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My last rehab was a friend
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who slapped me and told me
to snap out of it.
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I didn't need rehab.
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I stopped drinking the second I realized
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I'd turned into my mother.
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Ooh.
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You're welcome.
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Oh, here's Jill.
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Hey.
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How you doing?
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Hey.
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Don't look at me, I'm a wreck.
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Are you kidding?
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You look like a model
who just took a long nap.
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Thanks.
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And thanks for picking me up.
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Hey, I'm your sponsor, it's what we do.
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Well, you're very sweet.
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My stupid ex-husband couldn't be bothered.
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Well, he might be a little gun-shy
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after, you know, you waved
that gun around in his face.
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So what was the rehab like?
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Ugh, hardest thing I've ever done.
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Every hour of the day was planned out.
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From the first massage in the morning
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to the tai chi after lunch,
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then therapy
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and pottery classes.
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Oh, by the way...
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I made you both napkin rings.
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Wow.
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This must have taken you... minutes.
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"My precious."
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How's the food in a place like that?
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Ugh, don't get me started.
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It's sushi every day.
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I mean, I'm trying to get off painkillers,
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and now I'm full of mercury.
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Maybe you can get a job as a thermometer.
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Excuse me, I'm just gonna update
my Facebook status to sober.
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Okay, I've got a new plan.
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I'm listening.
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I'm gonna get rich, drink my ass off,
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wreck my life and then check
into that country club rehab.
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How do you plan to get rich?
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Why can't you ever support my dreams?
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Ooh!
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"Sober" got a like.
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Mom - 02x06
Crazy Eyes and a Wet Brad Pitt
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sync and correction by solfieri
www.addic7ed.com
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Oh, beautiful staircase.
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Not when you're falling down it drunk.
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And this is, of course,
the second floor sitting room.
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Of course.
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All new furniture.
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Oh, a little remodel?
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No, a big fire.
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Fell asleep on the couch
with a joint in my mouth.
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It's also why my hair is short.
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Play piano?
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No. I just like big,
black, beautiful things.
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Hey, where'd everybody go?
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Second-floor sitting room!
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That's fun to say.
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I was in the yoga studio,
turn around, you guys are gone.
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Did you see the tanning booth?
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Did I?
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Look at that... 90 seconds.
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So did you get this house in the divorce?
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This and the place in Aspen.
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That's it... I am never banging
a poor guy again.
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I guess we should get going.
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You gonna be okay?
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I'm gonna be fine.
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I'll see you at the meeting tomorrow.
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Okay. If you need anything,
you have my number.
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Thank you.
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Bye, Jill.
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Bye.
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Your phone's ringing.
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Jill?
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What's going on?
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I'm fine, I'm fine.
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Come on.
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Talk to me.
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I just... I...
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I don't know what to eat for dinner.
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What?
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I mean, there's chicken, and there's fish.
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Am I vegan?
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I don't know.
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You can send out.
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From where?!
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Chinese? Italian?
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I certainly can't have sushi.
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Oh, my God, my life is a mess.
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No, no.
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What you're going through is a
natural part of getting sober.
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I don't remember this part.
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Just go get her a glass of water.
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Well, you're asking water
to do vodka's job, but okay.
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Listen to me,
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you're gonna get through this.
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I'm so scared, Christy.
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I know, I've been there.
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The important thing to remember
is... you're not alone.
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God bless you.
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I'm so sorry, I can't find the kitchen.
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Oh, yeah, I like me a wet Brad Pitt.
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Oh, good, he's still wet.
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Did you get Jill to bed?
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Yeah.
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Do you know the toilet
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in the master bathroom
blow-dries your ass?
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Wow, so you can actually be
too rich to wipe.
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You talk to Violet?
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Yeah, she's not happy about it,
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but she'll look after Roscoe tonight.
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Did you explain to her
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that we're here saving a woman's life?
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I did.
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She doesn't get how serious this is.
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There's chocolate mousse in the kitchen.
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I know, I was gonna save that
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for after we've bowled a few frames.
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It's hard to believe
that somebody can live like this
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and still be so miserable.
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I mean, we're miserable,
but we have nothing.
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Which seems right.
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The way God intended.
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I just got to say something,
get it off my chest.
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- What?
- I really want to rob this place.
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What?
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I'm not going to... I'm just thinking it.
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I figured if I shared about it,
it takes the power away.
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All right. Well... thanks for sharing.
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If you were gonna rob it,
what would you take?
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Easy. Persian rug in the dining room.
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That's 25 grand right there.
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Yeah, but then you got to get
a truck, guys to move it.
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I'd stick with the jewelry.
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Really? I'd be careful there.
She'd a drug addict.
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He didn't give her anything real.
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We're just talking, right?
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Right.
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Where are you going?
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I have to put something back.
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Christy? Bonnie?
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God?
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Where are you?
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Oh, um...
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screening room.
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I'll take the elevator. Be right there.
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What time is it?
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Seven o'clock.
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See if we can get a late checkout.
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Come on, get up.
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Unbelievable.
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First-class house... I slept in coach.
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Good morning.
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I made you both fruit smoothies.
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Well, at least there's room service.
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Thank you.
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How you feeling?
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Great. Why?
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Well, you kind of...
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cried yourself to sleep.
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Oh, I do that every night.
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It's actually really good for your skin.
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- You guys want to go for a swim?
- I wouldn't mind a dip.
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Mom, we got to get home.
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I want to see the kids
before I go to work.
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Why would you say that?
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Why would I say what?
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I know what you're doing.
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You're throwing it in my face.
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What's this, now?
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Because I don't have kids
and don't have to work,
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you think you're better than me.
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Oh...
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I get it. Good one.
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You think I'm making a joke?
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Those are crazy eyes.
Not a joke. Not a joke.
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Jealous.
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That's all you are is jealous!
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This is why I can't have any friends!
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I can think of a few other reasons.
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Get out of my house.
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- Get out!
- Okay.
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Okay, we're leaving.
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00:09:53,135 --> 00:09:55,335
Never turn your back on crazy.
212
00:09:59,008 --> 00:10:01,808
I hate my life! I hate my life!
213
00:10:05,381 --> 00:10:09,416
Jill, I'm sorry, but
we can't find the front door?
214
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:22,487
This is what it's all about, right?
215
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- A shared meal with the people you love.
- Hmm.
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00:10:26,660 --> 00:10:28,760
What's wrong with her?
217
00:10:30,230 --> 00:10:31,863
Nothing's wrong with me.
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00:10:31,865 --> 00:10:35,133
I just realized we have a lot
to be grateful for.
219
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:37,636
Sure, we could live in a big house
220
00:10:37,638 --> 00:10:42,440
- with a tennis court and a movie theater.
- Then why are we living here?
221
00:10:43,677 --> 00:10:45,777
Let me finish.
222
00:10:45,779 --> 00:10:48,713
The point is,
that's not what makes you happy.
223
00:10:48,715 --> 00:10:50,282
That's not what fills your soul.
224
00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:52,283
Your mother's right.
225
00:10:52,285 --> 00:10:54,213
You can't fix the inside with the outside.
226
00:10:54,260 --> 00:10:57,422
Exactly. You can have all
the riches in the world and
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still be miserable and lonely.
228
00:11:00,026 --> 00:11:03,795
That's actually true.
I've seen cartoons about that.
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00:11:06,800 --> 00:11:08,127
I got it.
230
00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:12,337
You realize she's setting you up to fail.
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00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:18,376
Hi.
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00:11:18,378 --> 00:11:20,011
Hello.
233
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:21,651
I want to apologize.
234
00:11:21,716 --> 00:11:24,049
Are those part of the apology?
235
00:11:24,051 --> 00:11:25,750
Neiman Marcus.
236
00:11:25,752 --> 00:11:27,452
Where are my manners? Come on in.
237
00:11:29,222 --> 00:11:32,524
Christy, Neiman Marcus is here!
238
00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:37,128
- I like your new place.
- Don't patronize me.
239
00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:39,464
Jill, you okay?
240
00:11:39,466 --> 00:11:43,168
Yeah. And thank you for leaving
all those sweet messages.
241
00:11:43,170 --> 00:11:45,603
Oh. I was worried about you.
242
00:11:45,605 --> 00:11:47,005
I don't know what to say.
243
00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:48,740
I'm really embarrassed
about the way I behaved,
244
00:11:48,742 --> 00:11:51,810
and I thought maybe I could
make it up to you guys.
245
00:11:51,812 --> 00:11:54,913
Oh, Jill, that's really not necessary.
246
00:11:54,915 --> 00:11:57,330
Totally uncalled for. Which one is mine?
247
00:11:59,820 --> 00:12:01,720
Christy? I can't.
248
00:12:01,722 --> 00:12:03,088
You were gonna rip her off.
249
00:12:03,090 --> 00:12:04,956
You're right.
250
00:12:13,533 --> 00:12:15,734
And turn.
251
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If they weren't sober
before, they're sober now.
252
00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:24,509
Wow! You guys look amazing.
253
00:12:24,511 --> 00:12:26,444
You going out after the meeting?
254
00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:29,180
No, just wanted to bring a little sexy
255
00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:32,751
to the 7:30 Tuesday night meeting
256
00:12:32,753 --> 00:12:35,487
of Alcoholics Anonymous.
257
00:12:35,489 --> 00:12:37,122
Well, lucky us.
258
00:12:37,124 --> 00:12:39,324
Did you also happen to bring cookies?
259
00:12:39,326 --> 00:12:42,227
Hello.
260
00:12:45,399 --> 00:12:47,265
Hi. I'm Christy.
261
00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:49,267
I'm an alcoholic.
262
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:50,635
Hi, Christy.
263
00:12:50,637 --> 00:12:52,404
I just want to say,
264
00:12:52,406 --> 00:12:55,838
I am getting so much
out of being a sponsor.
265
00:12:56,924 --> 00:12:58,877
Hang on. Let me just...
266
00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:03,581
step out here so I can
feel closer to everybody.
267
00:13:03,583 --> 00:13:05,417
You know how
268
00:13:05,419 --> 00:13:09,988
they say the more you give,
the more you get back?
269
00:13:09,990 --> 00:13:11,990
Well, it's true.
270
00:13:11,992 --> 00:13:13,892
I'm living it.
271
00:13:13,894 --> 00:13:16,127
She's wearing it.
272
00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:18,930
And I think the reason that
273
00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:22,000
this works is that it's God's will
274
00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:25,537
for us to be of service,
275
00:13:25,539 --> 00:13:27,372
to help other people.
276
00:13:27,374 --> 00:13:30,675
And it's not just the less fortunate
277
00:13:30,677 --> 00:13:32,744
who need our help.
278
00:13:32,746 --> 00:13:36,080
Sometimes it's the haves who have not.
279
00:13:36,082 --> 00:13:37,048
Have not!
280
00:13:37,050 --> 00:13:39,684
The main thing is,
281
00:13:39,686 --> 00:13:41,519
I realize now is
282
00:13:41,521 --> 00:13:44,756
that you cannot fix a spiritual malady
283
00:13:44,758 --> 00:13:46,458
with material stuff.
284
00:13:46,460 --> 00:13:48,426
Stuff!
285
00:13:48,428 --> 00:13:51,930
- Keep it down.
- Down!
286
00:13:53,767 --> 00:13:56,568
Okay. Uh, well, I guess that's it for me.
287
00:13:56,570 --> 00:13:58,803
I just want to say how grateful I am,
288
00:13:58,805 --> 00:14:02,173
and, um, thank you all
for help keeping me sober.
289
00:14:08,148 --> 00:14:10,982
Right here... this is why
I don't sponsor people.
290
00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:12,951
That and no one asks you.
291
00:14:16,089 --> 00:14:17,355
She's gonna be okay.
292
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:18,790
Oh, thank God.
293
00:14:18,792 --> 00:14:20,158
They had to pump her stomach.
294
00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:21,125
- Ugh.
- Ugh.
295
00:14:21,127 --> 00:14:22,827
And they had to cut her dress off.
296
00:14:22,829 --> 00:14:25,497
Damn, this disease!
297
00:14:27,834 --> 00:14:29,834
This is all my fault.
298
00:14:29,836 --> 00:14:31,503
What are you talking about?
299
00:14:31,505 --> 00:14:33,171
I'm her sponsor.
300
00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:34,205
So?
301
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:35,874
So, it's my responsibility
302
00:14:35,876 --> 00:14:37,542
to keep her sober.
303
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:38,443
No, it isn't.
304
00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:40,678
Then what the hell am I for?
305
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:43,047
You tell her what you do to stay sober,
306
00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:45,149
and then she does what she's gonna do.
307
00:14:45,151 --> 00:14:46,484
That's it?
308
00:14:46,486 --> 00:14:48,353
I have nothing to feel guilty for?
309
00:14:48,355 --> 00:14:50,755
Well, I didn't say that.
310
00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:53,558
Paging Dr. Davis, telephone.
311
00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:54,859
I'm Dr. Kendall.
312
00:14:54,861 --> 00:14:56,628
My wife, Jill, was just admitted.
313
00:15:00,166 --> 00:15:02,233
I get it now.
314
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,269
Big, black, beautiful things.
315
00:15:04,271 --> 00:15:05,937
Excuse me?
316
00:15:05,939 --> 00:15:07,772
Oh. Nothing.
317
00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:09,541
Uh, um,
318
00:15:09,543 --> 00:15:10,875
Jill's okay.
319
00:15:10,877 --> 00:15:12,644
She's sleeping now.
320
00:15:12,646 --> 00:15:14,646
Oh, thank God.
321
00:15:14,648 --> 00:15:16,147
Who are you?
322
00:15:16,149 --> 00:15:18,883
Christy Plunkett, Jill's sponsor,
323
00:15:18,885 --> 00:15:22,887
but I'm not sponsible for this.
324
00:15:27,727 --> 00:15:29,060
You're not.
325
00:15:29,062 --> 00:15:32,063
She's done this before,
more times than I can count.
326
00:15:32,065 --> 00:15:33,498
I'm so sorry.
327
00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:34,465
Me, too.
328
00:15:34,467 --> 00:15:36,568
She told us about the divorce.
329
00:15:36,570 --> 00:15:38,354
It's been coming for a long time.
330
00:15:39,372 --> 00:15:42,487
- I just couldn't put up with it anymore.
- Nor should you.
331
00:15:49,565 --> 00:15:51,849
Hi. Bonnie Plunkett.
332
00:15:51,851 --> 00:15:53,184
James Kendall.
333
00:15:53,186 --> 00:15:56,921
Come on, James, let's go to the cafeteria.
I'll buy you a cup of coffee, we'll talk.
334
00:15:56,923 --> 00:15:59,824
Thanks. I'd like that.
335
00:16:12,772 --> 00:16:14,505
Wow.
336
00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:16,441
Jill told me her husband was a monster.
337
00:16:16,443 --> 00:16:19,127
What do you know? The drug addict lied.
338
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:27,318
Oh, God.
339
00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:29,687
Back to hell.
340
00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:31,723
- Oh, shut up.
- Mom!
341
00:16:31,725 --> 00:16:34,377
What? In an hour, she'll be
taking a tennis lesson.
342
00:16:36,174 --> 00:16:39,597
What she means to say is, good luck.
343
00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:42,200
What she means to say is,
"Take me with you."
344
00:16:45,472 --> 00:16:47,271
Are you disappointed in me?
345
00:16:47,273 --> 00:16:49,240
Are you kidding? No.
346
00:16:49,242 --> 00:16:51,476
I feel like I let you down.
347
00:16:51,478 --> 00:16:54,779
Yeah. I can see that.
348
00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:59,283
Wait. That's not true, either.
349
00:16:59,285 --> 00:17:00,885
No. It's okay.
350
00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:02,754
I forgive you.
351
00:17:02,756 --> 00:17:04,522
No, you don't get to forgive me.
352
00:17:04,524 --> 00:17:05,823
Let it go.
353
00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:07,925
She's got more napkin rings to make.
354
00:17:09,729 --> 00:17:11,729
Can I ask one favor?
355
00:17:11,731 --> 00:17:13,297
Yeah, I guess.
356
00:17:13,299 --> 00:17:14,955
Apparently, I owe you.
357
00:17:17,082 --> 00:17:19,149
While I'm stuck in here,
358
00:17:20,221 --> 00:17:23,441
is there any way you'd consider
house-sitting for me?
359
00:17:23,443 --> 00:17:24,876
Yes!
360
00:17:26,012 --> 00:17:27,011
Got you covered.
361
00:17:27,013 --> 00:17:29,080
Take all the time you need.
362
00:17:29,082 --> 00:17:31,049
I will.
363
00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:32,717
Love you guys.
364
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:34,952
- Love you, too.
- Love you, too.
365
00:17:47,901 --> 00:17:50,168
Dibs on the room with the horny toilet.
366
00:18:03,457 --> 00:18:06,338
I can't believe *** again.
367
00:18:06,339 --> 00:18:10,385
Hey! If you can't be grateful
go to take a ***
368
00:18:10,386 --> 00:18:12,386
and come back for a better attitude.
369
00:18:13,230 --> 00:18:14,909
Though love, good.
370
00:18:16,487 --> 00:18:20,534
When Jill gets out of rehab, really after
giving a nice gift for letting us stay here.
371
00:18:20,535 --> 00:18:21,596
Yeah.
372
00:18:23,346 --> 00:18:25,346
***