1
00:00:11,533 --> 00:00:14,449
Did we just wake up
at the exact same time?

2
00:00:14,492 --> 00:00:15,798
I think we did.

3
00:00:15,841 --> 00:00:17,974
[chuckles]
We are totally in sync,

4
00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:19,454
even when we're asleep.

5
00:00:19,497 --> 00:00:20,803
We're cuter than otters.

6
00:00:20,846 --> 00:00:22,674
[chuckles]

7
00:00:22,718 --> 00:00:24,894
And I thought marriage
was gonna be terrible.

8
00:00:24,937 --> 00:00:27,201
You don't need to say
that every morning.

9
00:00:27,244 --> 00:00:28,680
[chuckles]

10
00:00:28,724 --> 00:00:31,205
Well, I love that I can share
my every thought with you.

11
00:00:31,248 --> 00:00:32,467
You can.

12
00:00:32,510 --> 00:00:34,817
But maybe sometimes
you shouldn't.

13
00:00:34,860 --> 00:00:36,427
For instance, the other day,

14
00:00:36,471 --> 00:00:38,821
when you were telling me that
my arms were getting flabby.

15
00:00:38,864 --> 00:00:40,040
Oh. I just said that 'cause

16
00:00:40,083 --> 00:00:41,302
I didn't want
to push you up that hill.

17
00:00:41,345 --> 00:00:44,827
So you weren't being mean,
you were being lazy.

18
00:00:44,870 --> 00:00:46,307
Can't I be both?

19
00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:47,743
Better than anyone.

20
00:00:47,786 --> 00:00:49,092
Mm.

21
00:00:49,136 --> 00:00:50,833
What do you have
planned today?

22
00:00:50,876 --> 00:00:52,139
Oh, let's see.

23
00:00:52,182 --> 00:00:53,662
I'm gonna take your shirts
to the dry cleaner's,

24
00:00:53,705 --> 00:00:56,360
fix Mr. Munson's freezer
and... oh, yeah,

25
00:00:56,404 --> 00:00:58,014
officially take your last name.

26
00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,581
What's wrong with
his freezer?

27
00:00:59,624 --> 00:01:01,670
I think you missed the headline.

28
00:01:01,713 --> 00:01:03,933
No, I heard you. But our
freezer's been acting weird.

29
00:01:03,976 --> 00:01:05,543
Could be the same thing.

30
00:01:05,587 --> 00:01:08,633
Adam, I have an appointment
at the Social Security office,

31
00:01:08,677 --> 00:01:10,853
where I will fill out
a government form.

32
00:01:10,896 --> 00:01:12,115
After 22 years,

33
00:01:12,159 --> 00:01:14,770
I am allowing myself
to show up on the grid.

34
00:01:14,813 --> 00:01:16,119
I know. That's a
big step for you.

35
00:01:16,163 --> 00:01:17,990
Yeah. Especially since
there's a small chance

36
00:01:18,034 --> 00:01:19,557
I might be arrested.

37
00:01:19,601 --> 00:01:22,038
And if you do, I can't be
forced to testify against you,

38
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,648
because I'm your husband.

39
00:01:23,692 --> 00:01:26,303
That right there, that's why
I want to be Bonnie Janikowski.

40
00:01:26,347 --> 00:01:29,350
Cool. And keep me posted
on that freezer thing.

41
00:01:30,873 --> 00:01:34,442
Why are you acting like this
isn't hugely important to you?

42
00:01:34,485 --> 00:01:35,878
Whatever makes you happy,
Bonnie.

43
00:01:35,921 --> 00:01:37,749
It really doesn't matter to me.

44
00:01:37,793 --> 00:01:40,100
Well, it matters to me
and I'm doing it.

45
00:01:45,801 --> 00:01:47,107
Smooth.

46
00:01:50,936 --> 00:01:52,068
Hey.

47
00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:53,156
No time.

48
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:55,202
All you had to do
is say "hey" back.

49
00:01:55,245 --> 00:01:57,378
I don't have time
for "Hey, hey."

50
00:01:57,421 --> 00:02:00,207
My boss thinks 15 minutes
early is five minutes late,

51
00:02:00,250 --> 00:02:02,165
and I still haven't finished
proofreading those contracts.

52
00:02:02,209 --> 00:02:03,688
Ah. I would've read
those last night,

53
00:02:03,732 --> 00:02:06,213
so I'd be prepared for work
and be able to give my mother

54
00:02:06,256 --> 00:02:07,518
the cheery good morning
she deserves.

55
00:02:07,562 --> 00:02:08,867
[sighs]

56
00:02:08,911 --> 00:02:11,131
Veronica kept me
at the office till 2:00 a.m.

57
00:02:11,174 --> 00:02:12,697
She never gets tired.

58
00:02:12,741 --> 00:02:14,308
She's like a machine
that runs on yelling

59
00:02:14,351 --> 00:02:16,397
and very expensive goat yogurt.

60
00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,094
Well, whatever you do,

61
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:20,052
just don't pull a Christy.What's that mean?

62
00:02:20,096 --> 00:02:22,098
You know, try hard for a
little while and then quit.

63
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,839
How is that pulling a Christy?

64
00:02:23,882 --> 00:02:26,233
I finished college,
I'm in law school,

65
00:02:26,276 --> 00:02:27,582
I work three...Oh, God, don't do the list.

66
00:02:27,625 --> 00:02:28,496
Hey!

67
00:02:28,539 --> 00:02:30,411
Hey! See?
There was time.

68
00:02:30,454 --> 00:02:32,413
The point is
I am not gonna quit this.

69
00:02:32,456 --> 00:02:33,718
She is a senior partner.

70
00:02:33,762 --> 00:02:35,067
Her name is
on the building.

71
00:02:35,111 --> 00:02:36,243
If I do a good job,

72
00:02:36,286 --> 00:02:38,419
maybe she hires me
when I graduate.

73
00:02:38,462 --> 00:02:39,942
Before you know
it, I'm a judge

74
00:02:39,985 --> 00:02:41,944
and then eventually a
Supreme Court justice.

75
00:02:41,987 --> 00:02:43,685
They seem okay with
alcoholics now,

76
00:02:43,728 --> 00:02:45,948
so I could actually
have a shot.

77
00:02:48,559 --> 00:02:50,561
♪

78
00:03:11,278 --> 00:03:13,323
♪

79
00:03:25,857 --> 00:03:27,337
[hoarsely]:
Wow.

80
00:03:27,381 --> 00:03:30,471
That was all kinds of bad idea.

81
00:03:30,514 --> 00:03:31,994
Well, sorry, heart.

82
00:03:32,037 --> 00:03:33,778
VERONICA:
Christy!

83
00:03:33,822 --> 00:03:35,302
Coming.Christy!

84
00:03:35,345 --> 00:03:36,607
Coming.
Christy!

85
00:03:36,651 --> 00:03:38,000
Coming.Christy!

86
00:03:38,043 --> 00:03:40,524
Coming.What took you so long?

87
00:03:40,568 --> 00:03:44,006
Uh, I was, uh-- I'm sorry.
I had to adjust my skirt.

88
00:03:44,049 --> 00:03:46,356
This zipper just wants
to be in the front.

89
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,315
I need you to confirm
my lunch at Malone's.

90
00:03:48,358 --> 00:03:51,056
Also, pull the files
on the Onyx Merger.

91
00:03:51,100 --> 00:03:52,101
[grunts]

92
00:03:52,144 --> 00:03:53,624
I need you
to get my car detailed.

93
00:03:53,668 --> 00:03:55,887
Don't take it to the
place I don't like.

94
00:03:55,931 --> 00:03:57,541
Come on.

95
00:03:57,585 --> 00:04:01,023
Pick up my prescription at the
pharmacy and get those cucumbers

96
00:04:01,066 --> 00:04:03,025
out of my lemon water.Malone's, Onyx,

97
00:04:03,068 --> 00:04:05,332
cucumbers, prescription.Schedule a meeting for
Thursday with Thad Edwards.

98
00:04:05,375 --> 00:04:06,768
Thad, Thursday.

99
00:04:06,811 --> 00:04:08,422
Check the court calendar
to see which judge I landed

100
00:04:08,465 --> 00:04:09,640
in the Higgins case.

101
00:04:09,684 --> 00:04:11,686
If it's Barris, text
me; if it's Johnson,

102
00:04:11,729 --> 00:04:15,298
file for an extension;
if it's Clarke, kill me now.

103
00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:17,561
Can you just say all that again
into my phone?

104
00:04:17,605 --> 00:04:18,867
No!

105
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:23,741
Got it.

106
00:04:25,482 --> 00:04:27,528
Hi, Ken.

107
00:04:27,571 --> 00:04:29,051
Oh.

108
00:04:29,094 --> 00:04:32,054
Hello, young lady.

109
00:04:32,097 --> 00:04:34,056
I've been waiting
for that all day.

110
00:04:34,099 --> 00:04:36,450
Oh, look at those legs.

111
00:04:36,493 --> 00:04:38,974
Mmm. All the way
to the floor.

112
00:04:39,017 --> 00:04:40,367
Hey, hey.
You missed your chance.

113
00:04:40,410 --> 00:04:41,716
I'm married now.

114
00:04:41,759 --> 00:04:43,152
Ah, well, so am I.

115
00:04:43,195 --> 00:04:46,851
Uh, it makes it more exciting.

116
00:04:48,026 --> 00:04:49,898
NIKKI [in distance]:
You know, I can hear you!

117
00:04:49,941 --> 00:04:53,815
The only thing that still works
on her is the ears!

118
00:04:55,817 --> 00:04:57,558
So, what you got?

119
00:04:57,601 --> 00:04:58,733
Five shirts.

120
00:04:58,776 --> 00:05:00,517
All right.
The last name Plunkett.

121
00:05:00,561 --> 00:05:03,085
Actually, I'm on my way
to the Social Security office

122
00:05:03,128 --> 00:05:05,783
where I will officially become
Bonnie Janikowski.

123
00:05:06,828 --> 00:05:09,265
Sheesh.

124
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:12,268
So, J-A-N-E...

125
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:14,357
No. J-A-N-I-K...

126
00:05:14,401 --> 00:05:17,317
L-Let's slow-slow down.
J-A-N-E...

127
00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:19,275
No. J-N-I-K...

128
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:22,322
Wait. J-A-N-I-K...

129
00:05:22,365 --> 00:05:24,411
Wait, are-are you sure
there's no "C"?

130
00:05:24,454 --> 00:05:27,936
Well, now I'm not.
All right, uh, uh...

131
00:05:27,979 --> 00:05:30,939
Give me a pen.
I got to write this down.All right.

132
00:05:30,982 --> 00:05:33,158
Uh...

133
00:05:33,202 --> 00:05:36,466
[grunts]
None of this looks right.

134
00:05:36,510 --> 00:05:39,817
Okay, there.
I think that's it.

135
00:05:40,818 --> 00:05:42,994
Oh. So there is a "C"?

136
00:05:45,997 --> 00:05:48,478
Damn it, just leave it Plunkett.

137
00:05:50,132 --> 00:05:52,003
No. Disabuse your
client of the notion

138
00:05:52,047 --> 00:05:54,005
he is going to walk away
from this thing with anything

139
00:05:54,049 --> 00:05:55,398
that even resembles a win.

140
00:05:55,442 --> 00:05:57,400
It's over and everyone
knows it but you!

141
00:05:57,444 --> 00:05:59,315
Hanging up!

142
00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:00,360
[whispers]:
Hang it up!

143
00:06:01,404 --> 00:06:02,492
[phone beeps]

144
00:06:02,536 --> 00:06:04,102
I love watching you work.

145
00:06:04,146 --> 00:06:07,149
Ugh, well, that's
creepy. Take these.

146
00:06:07,192 --> 00:06:08,890
Where is my prescription?

147
00:06:08,933 --> 00:06:10,718
Oh, um, right here.

148
00:06:10,761 --> 00:06:12,894
The pharmacist said
to take them with a...

149
00:06:12,937 --> 00:06:15,897
Yeah, I know how to take them.
You want one? You want one.

150
00:06:15,940 --> 00:06:17,986
What is it?

151
00:06:18,029 --> 00:06:19,509
Adderall. We're all on it.

152
00:06:19,553 --> 00:06:21,511
Get on it. You're sluggish.

153
00:06:21,555 --> 00:06:26,429
Oh. No, thank you,
but thank you, but no.

154
00:06:26,473 --> 00:06:27,430
You sure?

155
00:06:27,474 --> 00:06:28,823
Yeah.

156
00:06:28,866 --> 00:06:29,824
Then get out!

157
00:06:29,867 --> 00:06:31,173
Get out!O-Okay.

158
00:06:31,216 --> 00:06:32,479
Get out! Get out!
Okay.

159
00:06:32,522 --> 00:06:34,524
Okay.
Get out!

160
00:06:38,006 --> 00:06:39,964
Do I seem sluggish to you?

161
00:06:40,008 --> 00:06:41,836
Uh, today or every day?

162
00:06:41,879 --> 00:06:44,099
Eh, it doesn't
matter. Yes to both.

163
00:06:44,142 --> 00:06:46,754
My boss and everyone else
in the building is on uppers,

164
00:06:46,797 --> 00:06:48,320
which is not safe, or fair.

165
00:06:48,364 --> 00:06:49,844
How am I supposed to compete?

166
00:06:49,887 --> 00:06:52,020
Sounds like someone's
about to pull a Christy.

167
00:06:52,063 --> 00:06:54,414
No, I'm not,
and stop calling it that.

168
00:06:54,457 --> 00:06:56,546
[phone rings]Hey, babe.

169
00:06:56,590 --> 00:06:58,853
ADAM:
I'm at the grocery store.
Do you need anything?

170
00:06:58,896 --> 00:07:00,463
I'm good.
Ooh.

171
00:07:00,507 --> 00:07:02,160
Can you get some strawberries
for my boss?

172
00:07:02,204 --> 00:07:04,249
But not the big ones,
the little tiny sweet ones.

173
00:07:04,293 --> 00:07:05,903
She had them
last spring in Capri,

174
00:07:05,947 --> 00:07:08,036
and they were
apparently magical.

175
00:07:08,079 --> 00:07:09,864
[chuckles]:
I'll do my best.

176
00:07:09,907 --> 00:07:12,040
You know he's just gonna
get you raspberries.

177
00:07:12,083 --> 00:07:13,476
She's right.

178
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:16,479
How was the Social Security
office, Mrs. Janikowski?

179
00:07:16,523 --> 00:07:18,046
It was great.

180
00:07:18,089 --> 00:07:20,527
The line moved quickly,
there was ample parking,

181
00:07:20,570 --> 00:07:23,225
and, uh, I made friends
with a woman from Kuala Lumpur.

182
00:07:23,268 --> 00:07:24,705
Awesome. See you at home.

183
00:07:24,748 --> 00:07:26,097
Bye. Love you.

184
00:07:27,098 --> 00:07:28,709
Look at you,

185
00:07:28,752 --> 00:07:30,624
changing your name legally
for once.

186
00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:32,408
[exhales]:
Yeah, I didn't do it.

187
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:33,627
What?

188
00:07:33,670 --> 00:07:36,064
You just lied
to your brand-new husband?

189
00:07:36,107 --> 00:07:37,413
I rescheduled, so technically

190
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,676
I just pre-told him
tomorrow's truth.

191
00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:42,984
What about the woman
from Kuala Lumpur?

192
00:07:43,027 --> 00:07:45,073
Well, it might happen.
I'm a friendly person.

193
00:07:45,116 --> 00:07:48,076
Another lie. Why didn't you go?

194
00:07:48,119 --> 00:07:51,122
Eh, it just didn't feel like
a good day to become Polish.

195
00:07:54,169 --> 00:07:56,258
Bonnie, your turn to sweep.I pass.

196
00:07:56,301 --> 00:07:58,086
You can't pass.

197
00:07:58,129 --> 00:08:00,088
It's a hard pass.

198
00:08:00,131 --> 00:08:01,698
Fine, I'll do it.

199
00:08:06,137 --> 00:08:07,443
What are you doing?

200
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:09,358
Sweeping.

201
00:08:09,401 --> 00:08:10,794
Yeah, I have three maids.

202
00:08:10,838 --> 00:08:13,057
I don't think so.

203
00:08:13,101 --> 00:08:16,670
Who taught you how to do that,
a cartoon mouse?

204
00:08:16,713 --> 00:08:18,672
What's wrong with
what I'm doing?

205
00:08:18,715 --> 00:08:20,456
Oh, good Lord,
give me that broom.

206
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,502
[mouths]

207
00:08:24,808 --> 00:08:26,593
[ringtone playing]

208
00:08:26,636 --> 00:08:29,944
[groans] I hate her,
I hate her, I hate her.

209
00:08:29,987 --> 00:08:31,989
Your mom's already
here. Who is it?

210
00:08:33,208 --> 00:08:35,471
The other most toxic person
on the planet.

211
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,952
Hey, Veronica.
What can I do for you?

212
00:08:37,995 --> 00:08:39,301
Uh-huh.

213
00:08:39,344 --> 00:08:42,696
I am on it.

214
00:08:42,739 --> 00:08:45,089
[groans]
I can't go to the bistro.

215
00:08:45,133 --> 00:08:47,614
I got to go run an errand
for my boss.

216
00:08:47,657 --> 00:08:49,354
She needs you to score
more pills?

217
00:08:49,398 --> 00:08:50,617
No.

218
00:08:50,660 --> 00:08:52,009
She needs pot.

219
00:08:53,271 --> 00:08:55,578
Yes, that's right.
I am leaving an A.A. meeting

220
00:08:55,622 --> 00:08:56,927
to go buy pot.

221
00:08:56,971 --> 00:08:58,189
Seriously?

222
00:08:58,233 --> 00:08:59,626
You know,
my guy Earl used to work

223
00:08:59,669 --> 00:09:00,975
under the Third Street Bridge.

224
00:09:01,018 --> 00:09:03,499
He'll hook you up pretty good
if he's still alive.

225
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:06,371
It's okay. She wants me to go
to her dispensary.

226
00:09:06,415 --> 00:09:08,678
Ooh, I've never been to
one of those. I want to go!

227
00:09:08,722 --> 00:09:09,853
This'll be fun!

228
00:09:09,897 --> 00:09:11,159
I'll come, too.

229
00:09:11,202 --> 00:09:12,160
Road trip!

230
00:09:12,203 --> 00:09:13,727
Tammy, it's four blocks away.

231
00:09:13,770 --> 00:09:15,903
Super short road trip!

232
00:09:15,946 --> 00:09:17,948
She's in your car.

233
00:09:25,652 --> 00:09:28,176
[door whooshes]

234
00:09:28,219 --> 00:09:31,571
Why are we buying pot
in an Apple Store?

235
00:09:31,614 --> 00:09:34,356
This is a lot different
than Earl's bridge.

236
00:09:34,399 --> 00:09:36,358
I don't like it.
Where's the shame?

237
00:09:36,401 --> 00:09:37,664
Where's the danger?

238
00:09:37,707 --> 00:09:38,839
DJ:
Hi.

239
00:09:38,882 --> 00:09:40,492
I'm DJ. How may I help you?

240
00:09:40,536 --> 00:09:44,018
I have to buy pot
for my friend.

241
00:09:44,061 --> 00:09:45,759
Your "friend"?

242
00:09:45,802 --> 00:09:47,195
Ladies, it's legal.

243
00:09:47,238 --> 00:09:49,284
You can come out
from the shadows.

244
00:09:49,327 --> 00:09:52,461
[door whooshes]

245
00:09:52,504 --> 00:09:54,506
This place smells like
nursing school.

246
00:09:54,550 --> 00:09:55,812
Like high school.

247
00:09:55,856 --> 00:09:58,206
Her womb.

248
00:09:58,249 --> 00:09:59,947
Let's not get too excited.

249
00:09:59,990 --> 00:10:02,602
We're just here
for moral support.

250
00:10:02,645 --> 00:10:06,301
Man, those are some fat buds.

251
00:10:06,344 --> 00:10:07,737
That's Jolly Green Giant.

252
00:10:07,781 --> 00:10:09,130
We grow it in-house.

253
00:10:09,173 --> 00:10:10,958
It's a really nice
indica sativahybrid,

254
00:10:11,001 --> 00:10:13,308
about 30% THC.

255
00:10:15,179 --> 00:10:17,704
Wow, we've come
a long way from

256
00:10:17,747 --> 00:10:20,837
"Here's what might
be weed in a bag."

257
00:10:20,881 --> 00:10:22,578
Would you like to
meet the plants?

258
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,101
Ooh, I would like
to meet the plants.

259
00:10:24,145 --> 00:10:27,104
I would like to do
terrible things to them.

260
00:10:27,148 --> 00:10:28,366
We don't smoke.

261
00:10:28,410 --> 00:10:30,673
Gotcha. Let me show
you the edibles.

262
00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:34,503
Cookies, cereal, crackers,
pretzel bites, sodas.

263
00:10:34,546 --> 00:10:36,592
This isn't fair.
They legalized pot

264
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,681
and put it in all
my favorite snacks!

265
00:10:38,725 --> 00:10:41,684
Oh, honey, it doesn't matter
what it's in. It's--

266
00:10:41,728 --> 00:10:43,555
[gasps] Holy crap,
it's in salad dressing!

267
00:10:43,599 --> 00:10:45,775
Somebody physically restrain me.

268
00:10:45,819 --> 00:10:47,690
I'm sure you get
this question all the time.

269
00:10:47,734 --> 00:10:51,651
I'm sober. If I rub
this CBD oil on my husband

270
00:10:51,694 --> 00:10:54,741
and I somehow...
ingest it,

271
00:10:54,784 --> 00:10:57,308
is that technically
a relapse

272
00:10:57,352 --> 00:11:00,181
or just a great way
to handle my joint pain?

273
00:11:00,224 --> 00:11:02,531
Uh, I've never gotten
that question before.

274
00:11:02,574 --> 00:11:05,882
Not worth the risk. I'll stick
with whipped cream and Advil.

275
00:11:05,926 --> 00:11:09,712
Okay, um, I need an eighth
of Laughing Buddha,

276
00:11:09,756 --> 00:11:13,063
two packs of pre-rolled
Skywalker O.G.,

277
00:11:13,107 --> 00:11:14,674
and breath strips.

278
00:11:14,717 --> 00:11:17,328
Wait, I'm probably supposed
to get that from the pharmacy.

279
00:11:17,372 --> 00:11:19,461
No, we have those here.With pot in them?

280
00:11:19,504 --> 00:11:21,115
I'm gonna save you some time.

281
00:11:21,158 --> 00:11:24,684
Everything in this room
has pot in it. Including me.

282
00:11:27,338 --> 00:11:28,992
What about this bag?

283
00:11:29,036 --> 00:11:30,341
It's made of hemp.

284
00:11:30,385 --> 00:11:31,734
Ooh.
Ooh.

285
00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:34,737
I want to buy that bag.
I'm allowed to buy that bag.

286
00:11:34,781 --> 00:11:37,522
Oh, check it out.
This one's on sale.

287
00:11:37,566 --> 00:11:38,785
Pot goes on sale?

288
00:11:38,828 --> 00:11:41,396
I used to have to do things
to get a discount.

289
00:11:41,439 --> 00:11:44,051
Fortunately,
Earl was not bad-looking.

290
00:11:44,094 --> 00:11:47,315
For someone who slept
in a shopping cart.

291
00:11:47,358 --> 00:11:48,795
Here you go.

292
00:11:48,838 --> 00:11:50,666
Since you're
a first-time customer,

293
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:52,842
throw in some gummy bears
and lollipops.

294
00:11:52,886 --> 00:11:56,280
And when you say
"gummy bears and lollipops..."

295
00:11:56,324 --> 00:11:57,499
Yes, they have pot in them.

296
00:11:57,542 --> 00:11:59,675
Son of a biscuit!

297
00:12:02,852 --> 00:12:04,506
Mmm.

298
00:12:04,549 --> 00:12:06,943
You're not a bowl of
marijuana-infused Cheerios,

299
00:12:06,987 --> 00:12:09,163
but you're still
pretty good.

300
00:12:09,206 --> 00:12:12,166
That was fun,
but I'd never do it again.

301
00:12:12,209 --> 00:12:13,820
They make it look all
happy-happy, joy-joy,

302
00:12:13,863 --> 00:12:15,822
which makes it hard to remember
that for me

303
00:12:15,865 --> 00:12:18,302
it led to
crappy-crappy, sad-sad.

304
00:12:18,346 --> 00:12:19,651
Me, too.

305
00:12:19,695 --> 00:12:21,697
And now that it's legal,
I can't go anywhere

306
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:25,048
without walking through a cloud
of that sweet, sweet odor.

307
00:12:25,092 --> 00:12:27,572
It's true.
It's everywhere now.

308
00:12:27,616 --> 00:12:29,096
So is alcohol.

309
00:12:29,139 --> 00:12:30,967
Yeah, but I don't
walk down the sidewalk

310
00:12:31,011 --> 00:12:34,014
and get a glass of wine
thrown in my face.

311
00:12:34,057 --> 00:12:35,798
One time Jell-O,
but to be fair,

312
00:12:35,842 --> 00:12:38,670
I was... I was pretty mean
to that little boy.

313
00:12:40,194 --> 00:12:42,152
Maybe you'll be
a nicer person

314
00:12:42,196 --> 00:12:44,285
when you become
Bonnie Janikowski.

315
00:12:44,328 --> 00:12:46,026
Not likely.

316
00:12:46,069 --> 00:12:48,289
Oh, yeah,
you did that today.

317
00:12:48,332 --> 00:12:49,420
No, she did not.

318
00:12:50,813 --> 00:12:54,164
Oh. Oops, did I let that slip?

319
00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:55,731
Why?

320
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,167
I don't, I don't know.

321
00:12:57,211 --> 00:12:58,821
Something about it
didn't feel right.

322
00:12:58,865 --> 00:13:00,431
Maybe it's 'cause you're so old.

323
00:13:01,389 --> 00:13:02,869
What are you doing?

324
00:13:02,912 --> 00:13:06,394
This is a violent woman
with a long reach.

325
00:13:06,437 --> 00:13:08,396
I just mean
when a 25-year-old woman

326
00:13:08,439 --> 00:13:10,398
changes her name,
it's no big deal.

327
00:13:10,441 --> 00:13:13,401
But it's much harder for someone
in their twilight years.

328
00:13:13,444 --> 00:13:16,752
Oh, just go on and hit her.
She's asking for it.

329
00:13:18,536 --> 00:13:20,887
It kills me to say this,
but Wendy has a point.

330
00:13:20,930 --> 00:13:22,845
I've been Bonnie Plunkett
my whole life.

331
00:13:22,889 --> 00:13:25,413
And something's telling me
I should stay that way.

332
00:13:25,456 --> 00:13:27,197
Mm. Honey, if you're
this conflicted,

333
00:13:27,241 --> 00:13:28,982
you should talk
to Adam.

334
00:13:29,025 --> 00:13:31,549
Don't forget to tell him
you lied earlier.

335
00:13:31,593 --> 00:13:32,768
Oops.

336
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:35,815
Why the hell
don't you just hyphenate?

337
00:13:35,858 --> 00:13:39,122
Bonnie Plunkett-Janikowski?
What am I, the alphabet?

338
00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:46,782
I just talked to
Thad's assistant Chad--

339
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,871
Yes, you heard that right.

340
00:13:48,915 --> 00:13:51,700
Uh, they're running late,
so you have some time.

341
00:13:52,962 --> 00:13:54,877
You're not yelling at me.
Are you okay?

342
00:13:58,663 --> 00:14:01,275
Oh. Aren't you pretty.

343
00:14:03,146 --> 00:14:04,408
What you got going on there?

344
00:14:06,106 --> 00:14:09,370
I was feeling kind of tired,
so I took extra Adderall.

345
00:14:09,413 --> 00:14:10,719
Then I felt jumpy,

346
00:14:10,762 --> 00:14:12,373
so I ate a couple
pot gummies.

347
00:14:12,416 --> 00:14:14,941
Then I forgot I ate the gummies,
so I ate more gummies.

348
00:14:14,984 --> 00:14:18,118
[laughing]

349
00:14:18,161 --> 00:14:20,511
Chad and Thad-- I just got that.

350
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:27,301
I may not be able
to handle this meeting.

351
00:14:27,344 --> 00:14:30,260
Do you have makeup remover

352
00:14:30,304 --> 00:14:34,134
or a hat with a veil?

353
00:14:34,177 --> 00:14:38,268
This is my first gummy bear
experience, and it's not good.

354
00:14:38,312 --> 00:14:39,791
Here are my takeaways.

355
00:14:39,835 --> 00:14:42,751
A: Don't eat nine.

356
00:14:42,794 --> 00:14:45,710
B: I'm gonna die.

357
00:14:47,147 --> 00:14:48,931
Maybe I should
reschedule the meeting.

358
00:14:48,975 --> 00:14:51,978
No. We need
this client because...

359
00:14:52,021 --> 00:14:54,328
[whispers]:
this firm is in trouble.

360
00:14:54,371 --> 00:14:56,243
We are this close to bankruptcy,

361
00:14:56,286 --> 00:14:58,767
and we just spent a lot of money
on new chairs.

362
00:14:58,810 --> 00:15:00,812
It was so dumb.

363
00:15:02,814 --> 00:15:04,773
Veronica, this is a classic

364
00:15:04,816 --> 00:15:07,341
"too high slash panic attack"
situation.

365
00:15:07,384 --> 00:15:08,516
Yep, yep, that feels right.

366
00:15:08,559 --> 00:15:09,952
Open that window.
I want to jump out.

367
00:15:12,476 --> 00:15:15,001
Look in my eyes
and repeat after me:

368
00:15:15,044 --> 00:15:16,959
I am okay.

369
00:15:17,003 --> 00:15:19,527
You are okay.

370
00:15:19,570 --> 00:15:22,312
No, youare okay.

371
00:15:22,356 --> 00:15:24,097
No, youare okay.

372
00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:27,927
I am trying to get you
to say "I am okay."

373
00:15:27,970 --> 00:15:31,278
But I am so not okay,
and I'll never be okay!

374
00:15:31,321 --> 00:15:34,977
[sighs] All right!
I'm gonna have to slap you.

375
00:15:35,021 --> 00:15:37,023
Do it!

376
00:15:43,507 --> 00:15:46,510
Ugh! I can't!
I can't slap my boss!

377
00:15:46,554 --> 00:15:47,990
Do it!

378
00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:48,991
Say something mean.

379
00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:50,384
Tell me
I'm a terrible assistant.

380
00:15:50,427 --> 00:15:52,081
Tell you? I thought
you already knew.

381
00:15:56,390 --> 00:15:58,566
Hey! That helped!

382
00:15:58,609 --> 00:16:00,611
Let's go again!

383
00:16:02,091 --> 00:16:03,788
I'm not high!

384
00:16:05,312 --> 00:16:06,661
[groans]

385
00:16:09,664 --> 00:16:12,014
Ah, damn it, you're home.

386
00:16:12,058 --> 00:16:13,407
[door closes]

387
00:16:13,450 --> 00:16:15,626
Oh, we're just telling
each other the truth now?

388
00:16:16,801 --> 00:16:18,934
Okay, your hair is ridiculous.

389
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:22,329
No, I got you a gift, and I
wanted to surprise you with it.

390
00:16:22,372 --> 00:16:24,592
And-and what-what's wrong
with my hair?

391
00:16:24,635 --> 00:16:26,376
It looks like
it's trying to escape.

392
00:16:26,420 --> 00:16:27,987
Give me my present.

393
00:16:29,640 --> 00:16:32,469
I ordered us a new welcome mat
that says "The Janikowskis"

394
00:16:32,513 --> 00:16:33,993
'cause that's who we are now.

395
00:16:34,036 --> 00:16:36,647
That is...

396
00:16:36,691 --> 00:16:38,301
so sweet.

397
00:16:38,345 --> 00:16:39,781
Yeah.

398
00:16:39,824 --> 00:16:41,739
And yet I feel
I don't deserve it.

399
00:16:41,783 --> 00:16:43,393
Why not?

400
00:16:43,437 --> 00:16:46,396
Because only one of us
is a Janikowski.

401
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:50,574
I didn't, uh, go to the
Social Security office.

402
00:16:51,967 --> 00:16:53,751
You lied to me?

403
00:16:53,795 --> 00:16:56,493
Well, I thought I was telling
you today's truth yesterday.

404
00:16:57,668 --> 00:16:59,757
I-I can see why
you're confused.

405
00:16:59,801 --> 00:17:02,630
So... what happened?

406
00:17:02,673 --> 00:17:06,503
I just have this little
voice saying, "Don't do it."

407
00:17:06,547 --> 00:17:09,550
The-the thing is, I-I hated
being Bonnie Plunkett

408
00:17:09,593 --> 00:17:11,030
for most of my life.

409
00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:14,555
I was a drunk, a-a thief,
a terrible mother.

410
00:17:14,598 --> 00:17:16,905
I-I felt worthless
and broken.

411
00:17:16,948 --> 00:17:19,647
But then I did all
this work on myself,

412
00:17:19,690 --> 00:17:21,214
and I finally love
Bonnie Plunkett,

413
00:17:21,257 --> 00:17:24,304
and I just, I'm not
ready to let her go.

414
00:17:24,347 --> 00:17:26,393
Wow.

415
00:17:26,436 --> 00:17:28,395
I had no idea
you felt that way.

416
00:17:28,438 --> 00:17:30,049
I didn't either.

417
00:17:30,092 --> 00:17:32,094
I'm sorry. I know this
was important to you.

418
00:17:32,138 --> 00:17:34,140
And don't say it wasn't,
because you clearly paid

419
00:17:34,183 --> 00:17:36,403
for expedited shipping
on that welcome mat.

420
00:17:37,752 --> 00:17:40,755
It was only three dollars more.

421
00:17:40,798 --> 00:17:43,018
I... I just wanted
the whole world to know

422
00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:44,324
that we're a family.

423
00:17:44,367 --> 00:17:46,152
[groans softly]

424
00:17:46,195 --> 00:17:48,415
Why would you say
something like that?

425
00:17:48,458 --> 00:17:50,025
What?

426
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:52,897
So sweet.
Now I'm waffling again.

427
00:17:52,941 --> 00:17:54,508
No, no, no, no, no,
don't waffle.

428
00:17:54,551 --> 00:17:56,118
You finally love
Bonnie Plunkett,

429
00:17:56,162 --> 00:17:59,165
and I've always loved
Bonnie Plunkett, so...

430
00:17:59,208 --> 00:18:01,254
stay Bonnie Plunkett.

431
00:18:02,646 --> 00:18:05,649
All right,
but I'm doing this for you.

432
00:18:07,695 --> 00:18:10,350
And, hey, this doesn't mean
we can't have a welcome mat

433
00:18:10,393 --> 00:18:11,699
that says "The Janikowskis."

434
00:18:11,742 --> 00:18:14,049
At the very least,
you and Gus are Janikowskis.

435
00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:17,096
Gus's last name is Wooferton.

436
00:18:20,403 --> 00:18:23,667
Let's just put out the mat.
I'm sure he won't complain.

437
00:18:23,711 --> 00:18:25,365
[chuckles]

438
00:18:27,367 --> 00:18:30,152
"The Jackinowskis."

439
00:18:30,196 --> 00:18:32,502
Everyone always wants
to put a "C" in it.

440
00:18:38,682 --> 00:18:41,163
Hey.Hey. How was work?

441
00:18:41,207 --> 00:18:42,991
Excellent, thanks to you.

442
00:18:43,034 --> 00:18:44,340
Really?

443
00:18:44,384 --> 00:18:46,342
Yeah. I saved my boss's ass

444
00:18:46,386 --> 00:18:48,562
when she got way too high
and freaked out.

445
00:18:48,605 --> 00:18:52,174
You are really good at that.
Did you have to slap her?

446
00:18:52,218 --> 00:18:55,046
Yep. But just like you,
she hit back.

447
00:18:55,090 --> 00:18:56,700
But...

448
00:18:56,744 --> 00:18:58,224
I sobered her up enough
for her meeting,

449
00:18:58,267 --> 00:19:00,182
and now I get to go to court
with her tomorrow.

450
00:19:00,226 --> 00:19:01,923
Mostly to carry her yogurt,
but still.

451
00:19:01,966 --> 00:19:04,186
Congratulations!
[chuckles]

452
00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:06,014
So now with the way
this turned out,

453
00:19:06,057 --> 00:19:08,190
can sticking with it
and persevering

454
00:19:08,234 --> 00:19:09,757
and getting huge
success be called...

455
00:19:09,800 --> 00:19:12,412
Pulling a Bonnie Plunkett?
Yes, it can.

456
00:19:12,455 --> 00:19:14,109
Captioning sponsored by
CBS

457
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:15,589
and WARNER BROS. TELEVISION

458
00:19:15,632 --> 00:19:17,156
and TOYOTA.

459
00:19:22,204 --> 00:19:22,857
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org