1
00:00:01,336 --> 00:00:03,002
Oh, and my fiancé...

2
00:00:03,004 --> 00:00:05,960
(chuckles) I love saying that...

3
00:00:07,289 --> 00:00:09,725
We've been talking about the
guest list for our wedding.

4
00:00:09,727 --> 00:00:11,677
While we'd love to invite everyone,

5
00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:13,763
we're gonna have to
make some hard choices.

6
00:00:13,765 --> 00:00:17,066
Hint: a good pre-wedding gift
could be the bump you need.

7
00:00:17,772 --> 00:00:19,101
Any Apple products

8
00:00:19,103 --> 00:00:20,732
gets you in the first five rows.

9
00:00:22,084 --> 00:00:24,248
Does she really think this
is gonna be a hot ticket?

10
00:00:25,092 --> 00:00:27,360
Welcome to the waiting list, Marjorie.

11
00:00:28,357 --> 00:00:30,529
Would a waffle iron get me a good seat?

12
00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:32,281
It'll get you in the building.

13
00:00:33,668 --> 00:00:36,168
I'll share. Christy, alcoholic.

14
00:00:36,350 --> 00:00:37,536
ALL: Hi, Christy.

15
00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:40,005
You know, she is not
kidding about that list.

16
00:00:40,007 --> 00:00:41,443
I don't even think I made the cut.

17
00:00:42,014 --> 00:00:45,344
Anyway, my boyfriend is in town
this weekend for his birthday,

18
00:00:45,346 --> 00:00:48,931
and I saved enough money
to take him to dinner,

19
00:00:48,933 --> 00:00:50,383
buy him a travel mug,

20
00:00:50,385 --> 00:00:53,662
and... get professionally waxed.

21
00:00:54,923 --> 00:00:56,733
So no more bristly patches.

22
00:00:58,358 --> 00:00:59,859
It's true what they say:

23
00:00:59,861 --> 00:01:02,967
if you stay sober, your
life gets bigger and better

24
00:01:02,992 --> 00:01:05,514
and... smoother.

25
00:01:06,724 --> 00:01:07,920
Thanks.

26
00:01:09,871 --> 00:01:11,821
Of course you're invited to the wedding.

27
00:01:11,932 --> 00:01:14,373
I'm gonna need someone to
hold up my dress while I pee.

28
00:01:15,746 --> 00:01:17,725
All right, we have time for one more.

29
00:01:17,750 --> 00:01:20,559
Uh, would our newcomer like to share?

30
00:01:22,348 --> 00:01:24,383
Hi, I'm Jill, alcoholic.

31
00:01:24,385 --> 00:01:25,918
ALL: Hi, Jill.

32
00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:27,420
It's weird to call myself a newcomer,

33
00:01:27,422 --> 00:01:28,587
but that's what I am.

34
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,458
Got the one-day chip to prove it.

35
00:01:31,058 --> 00:01:33,843
'Course I keep slipping, so I
got about ten of these things.

36
00:01:34,192 --> 00:01:36,262
By the way, should I be recycling 'em?

37
00:01:36,264 --> 00:01:38,098
You know like give a
penny, take a penny?

38
00:01:40,514 --> 00:01:41,748
Anyhow...

39
00:01:42,403 --> 00:01:44,678
I've been having a
hard time staying sober,

40
00:01:44,939 --> 00:01:48,073
but this morning felt
different. I got up off the lawn,

41
00:01:48,075 --> 00:01:50,029
before the sprinklers
went off this time.

42
00:01:51,496 --> 00:01:52,611
I went inside,

43
00:01:52,613 --> 00:01:53,946
poured myself a cup of coffee

44
00:01:53,948 --> 00:01:56,684
with just cream, no vodka,

45
00:01:57,353 --> 00:01:58,969
and said "Morning, world!

46
00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:00,512
It's a brand new day."

47
00:02:01,973 --> 00:02:04,623
Also, if I sent you a video of myself

48
00:02:04,625 --> 00:02:07,247
singing Carrie Underwood naked,
could you please delete it?

49
00:02:08,254 --> 00:02:09,340
Thanks.

50
00:02:10,707 --> 00:02:13,387
I'll show it to you when we get home.

51
00:02:16,521 --> 00:02:19,472
CHRISTY: Get ready for
your next birthday surprise.

52
00:02:19,981 --> 00:02:21,582
Whoa.

53
00:02:24,474 --> 00:02:26,924
Look quick, 'cause it's coming off fast.

54
00:02:27,097 --> 00:02:30,145
Wow, I did not think you
could top that travel mug.

55
00:02:35,734 --> 00:02:37,568
- Smooth.
- I know!

56
00:02:39,744 --> 00:02:42,661
(cell phone vibrating)

57
00:02:42,686 --> 00:02:44,997
Oh, please tell me that's
something in your bedside table

58
00:02:44,999 --> 00:02:46,626
that we're gonna use later.

59
00:02:46,707 --> 00:02:49,142
- I'll turn it off.
- Okay.

60
00:02:51,908 --> 00:02:55,007
Oh, God, it's my friend Jill.

61
00:02:55,009 --> 00:02:57,009
I hate to do this, but I got to go.

62
00:02:57,011 --> 00:03:00,346
Now? Not, like, ten
glorious minutes from now?

63
00:03:00,348 --> 00:03:02,264
Sorry, it's an emergency.

64
00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:03,732
W-What's wrong?

65
00:03:03,734 --> 00:03:05,100
She's been trying to get sober,

66
00:03:05,102 --> 00:03:07,186
and now she's drunk and freaking out.

67
00:03:07,188 --> 00:03:09,197
I promise I'll make it up to you.

68
00:03:12,577 --> 00:03:14,360
(door closes, reopens)

69
00:03:14,362 --> 00:03:15,861
If you get hungry,
there's chocolate sauce

70
00:03:15,863 --> 00:03:17,291
in the nightstand.

71
00:03:21,548 --> 00:03:22,701
Can you believe this?

72
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:24,920
I know, we were just getting started.

73
00:03:24,922 --> 00:03:26,455
Oh? We were done.

74
00:03:26,457 --> 00:03:27,873
Wow.

75
00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:29,341
Yeah. We've been together a while.

76
00:03:29,343 --> 00:03:31,544
We got it down to three essential moves.

77
00:03:39,051 --> 00:03:43,177
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --

78
00:03:46,494 --> 00:03:48,277
I can't believe it.

79
00:03:48,658 --> 00:03:51,032
I went to the market
to get some almond milk,

80
00:03:51,057 --> 00:03:53,891
and I ended up buying
two fifths of vodka.

81
00:03:54,025 --> 00:03:56,345
Ugh. You drink almond milk?

82
00:03:57,731 --> 00:04:01,566
More coffee and cookies.
May I go home now?

83
00:04:01,568 --> 00:04:05,069
Yeah. I'm sorry about your shoes.

84
00:04:05,205 --> 00:04:07,405
Thank you for aiming down this time.

85
00:04:07,930 --> 00:04:10,431
- Good night.
- Thank you, Soledad.

86
00:04:12,331 --> 00:04:14,248
Why does this keep happening?

87
00:04:14,414 --> 00:04:17,632
Oh, honey, it's a cunning
and baffling disease.

88
00:04:17,634 --> 00:04:19,083
That's the best you got?

89
00:04:19,085 --> 00:04:20,517
Give me a break. It's late.

90
00:04:20,542 --> 00:04:22,134
I'm not wearing a bra.

91
00:04:24,591 --> 00:04:26,924
The important thing
is that you called us.

92
00:04:26,926 --> 00:04:28,843
And that Soledad took the scissors away

93
00:04:28,845 --> 00:04:30,928
before you gave yourself a mullet.

94
00:04:32,295 --> 00:04:34,564
I really do want to get sober.

95
00:04:35,909 --> 00:04:37,329
It's okay.

96
00:04:37,994 --> 00:04:39,270
You're gonna get this.

97
00:04:39,424 --> 00:04:42,106
Just call us before you
go to the market next time.

98
00:04:42,549 --> 00:04:43,882
- We love you.
- Yeah.

99
00:04:43,884 --> 00:04:46,346
- We're here for you.
- Oh, my God.

100
00:04:46,371 --> 00:04:48,977
This cookie is giving me my
second orgasm of the night.

101
00:04:51,152 --> 00:04:53,571
Oh, yeah, you're totally gonna get this.

102
00:04:55,540 --> 00:04:59,626
So they just don't come home all night,
and that's normal?

103
00:04:59,651 --> 00:05:00,946
Oh, you can't get hung up

104
00:05:00,971 --> 00:05:02,376
on what's normal around here.

105
00:05:03,242 --> 00:05:05,532
Be happy they left us
milk and toilet paper.

106
00:05:06,276 --> 00:05:08,276
Looks like the highlight
of my birthday weekend

107
00:05:08,371 --> 00:05:11,298
will be more time with
my dick-weed brother.

108
00:05:12,262 --> 00:05:13,371
You call it your birthday,

109
00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:16,496
I call it the 54th anniversary
of you stealing my mother.

110
00:05:18,043 --> 00:05:20,465
- (chuckles)
- What?

111
00:05:20,490 --> 00:05:21,817
Seriously, dude?

112
00:05:22,273 --> 00:05:24,496
You still eat Captain Crunch?

113
00:05:25,082 --> 00:05:27,348
First of all, dude,

114
00:05:28,033 --> 00:05:30,751
it's pronounced "Cap'n."

115
00:05:32,405 --> 00:05:35,022
And you disrespect his
service to the Crunch Navy

116
00:05:35,047 --> 00:05:36,672
if you say it any other way.

117
00:05:43,486 --> 00:05:45,686
- BONNIE: Boys, we're back.
- In here.

118
00:05:45,711 --> 00:05:46,960
Hey, how's Jill?

119
00:05:47,447 --> 00:05:49,080
Ah, she yelled,

120
00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:50,999
she tried to make out with Wendy,

121
00:05:51,001 --> 00:05:53,618
she took a swing at Marjorie...
Nothing we haven't seen before.

122
00:05:53,899 --> 00:05:57,255
Now she's sleeping it off,
which is what I want to do.

123
00:05:57,257 --> 00:05:59,469
Caring about other people is exhausting.

124
00:05:59,494 --> 00:06:01,462
I am never doing it again.

125
00:06:02,374 --> 00:06:03,649
Good night.

126
00:06:04,514 --> 00:06:06,032
You seem pretty beat.

127
00:06:06,057 --> 00:06:07,727
Me? No. No.

128
00:06:07,752 --> 00:06:10,212
I have a whole day planned for us.

129
00:06:10,416 --> 00:06:12,716
We're gonna go for a hike and...

130
00:06:13,611 --> 00:06:15,523
(yawning): see that documentary on bees

131
00:06:15,525 --> 00:06:17,923
you keep talking about and, uh...

132
00:06:17,948 --> 00:06:20,189
then we're gonna have
a-a fabulous dinner.

133
00:06:20,488 --> 00:06:23,238
So, happy birthday.

134
00:06:23,483 --> 00:06:25,877
- Yay.
- (chuckles)

135
00:06:26,771 --> 00:06:28,752
Yeah. Why don't we just skip the hike

136
00:06:28,777 --> 00:06:30,806
and you go take a nap, huh?

137
00:06:30,948 --> 00:06:33,011
No, no, no, no, no, no. No.

138
00:06:33,036 --> 00:06:34,495
Okay, yes.

139
00:06:35,253 --> 00:06:36,919
But two hours, tops,

140
00:06:36,944 --> 00:06:39,395
and then it's big fun for you, mister.

141
00:06:39,420 --> 00:06:41,136
(chuckles)

142
00:06:41,161 --> 00:06:43,769
(chuckles softly)

143
00:06:44,116 --> 00:06:46,216
Yeah, I'm not gonna see her
the rest of the day, am I?

144
00:06:46,241 --> 00:06:47,425
- No.
- Yeah.

145
00:06:48,556 --> 00:06:50,941
- BONNIE: Adam!
- Coming!

146
00:06:51,868 --> 00:06:53,925
Sex helps her fall asleep.

147
00:06:54,909 --> 00:06:58,160
She says I've got pure
Ambien between my legs.

148
00:07:02,522 --> 00:07:05,034
You guys don't have to
worry anymore. I got this.

149
00:07:05,059 --> 00:07:06,425
I realized what I've been doing wrong.

150
00:07:06,453 --> 00:07:08,253
I didn't have a plan, but now I do.

151
00:07:08,278 --> 00:07:09,845
I went to a meeting this morning,

152
00:07:09,870 --> 00:07:11,471
then went to another
meeting with you gals,

153
00:07:11,496 --> 00:07:12,712
gonna have my eyebrows re-threaded,

154
00:07:12,714 --> 00:07:14,128
then go to another meeting tonight.

155
00:07:14,153 --> 00:07:15,941
And I'm gonna bookend
every day by calling Christy

156
00:07:15,966 --> 00:07:17,722
in the morning and again
at night to let her know

157
00:07:17,747 --> 00:07:18,913
I stuck with my plan.

158
00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:20,472
How's that for a plan?

159
00:07:21,902 --> 00:07:23,609
Well, it was fast and wordy.

160
00:07:23,634 --> 00:07:25,167
And a very good plan.

161
00:07:25,844 --> 00:07:27,523
Christy, I hope I didn't ruin

162
00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:29,124
your boyfriend's birthday weekend.

163
00:07:29,149 --> 00:07:31,221
Patrick's fine. When
I woke up from my nap,

164
00:07:31,246 --> 00:07:33,329
he had left to go bowling with Adam.

165
00:07:34,048 --> 00:07:35,297
Yes, Adam bowls.

166
00:07:35,322 --> 00:07:36,788
Nobody's perfect.

167
00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:39,457
I love bowling.

168
00:07:39,482 --> 00:07:40,695
I think it's sexy.

169
00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:43,734
Yeah. That's why there's
so much bowling porn.

170
00:07:44,459 --> 00:07:45,734
There is.

171
00:07:47,365 --> 00:07:49,702
Well, since y'all helped me so much,

172
00:07:49,727 --> 00:07:51,452
I brought each of you a little something

173
00:07:51,477 --> 00:07:52,927
from my gift closet.

174
00:07:52,952 --> 00:07:54,868
- ALL: Oh!
- Oh, sweetie,

175
00:07:54,893 --> 00:07:56,810
- that's very nice of you.
- WENDY: Thank you.

176
00:07:56,835 --> 00:07:59,085
But we don't help people for gifts.

177
00:07:59,110 --> 00:08:00,867
We do it for fun and for free.

178
00:08:05,302 --> 00:08:06,632
You're right.

179
00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:11,320
- Bonnie.
- What?

180
00:08:11,345 --> 00:08:12,749
The bracelet.

181
00:08:13,503 --> 00:08:15,753
I was wearing this when I came in.

182
00:08:20,398 --> 00:08:22,898
Do you know what would
make this outfit perfect?

183
00:08:22,923 --> 00:08:25,468
That bracelet you
goody-goodies made me give back.

184
00:08:27,867 --> 00:08:30,072
Don't you think it's
great that the four of us

185
00:08:30,097 --> 00:08:31,319
are gonna go out and...

186
00:08:31,321 --> 00:08:32,587
Oh, come on!

187
00:08:33,344 --> 00:08:34,710
(groans) You come on.

188
00:08:34,735 --> 00:08:36,401
No! You have to change.

189
00:08:36,426 --> 00:08:37,892
Why do I have to change?

190
00:08:37,961 --> 00:08:39,494
Because it's my boyfriend's birthday,

191
00:08:39,496 --> 00:08:41,304
so I get to wear the slutty red dress.

192
00:08:41,329 --> 00:08:44,113
Nope. Everything's taped up
and Spanx'd down. I'm done.

193
00:08:47,254 --> 00:08:48,695
Fine.

194
00:08:49,835 --> 00:08:52,224
- Unzip me.
- I will.

195
00:08:54,388 --> 00:08:55,804
(grunts)

196
00:09:01,146 --> 00:09:03,685
Are you as freaked out as I
am that Jill hasn't been able

197
00:09:03,687 --> 00:09:06,188
to string more than a day
or two of sobriety together?

198
00:09:06,190 --> 00:09:08,523
Yeah. It's scary.

199
00:09:08,525 --> 00:09:11,359
I can't imagine what it would
be like to start from zero again.

200
00:09:11,361 --> 00:09:13,695
Been there. It sucks.

201
00:09:14,333 --> 00:09:17,509
I'm afraid that if I went
out, I would never come back.

202
00:09:18,044 --> 00:09:19,201
Yeah, you would.

203
00:09:19,203 --> 00:09:22,208
'Cause I'd drag you back
by the roots of your hair.

204
00:09:23,707 --> 00:09:25,257
Thanks, Mom.

205
00:09:25,259 --> 00:09:27,125
Okay. How do I look?

206
00:09:27,127 --> 00:09:29,344
Not better than me, so, good.

207
00:09:33,599 --> 00:09:34,549
Ah.

208
00:09:34,551 --> 00:09:36,248
So who won at bowling?

209
00:09:36,273 --> 00:09:37,913
Everyone who saw Patrick fall on his ass

210
00:09:37,938 --> 00:09:39,310
trying to pick up a spare.

211
00:09:39,335 --> 00:09:41,669
Oh, hey, I would have
played better, but...

212
00:09:41,725 --> 00:09:43,318
- I didn't bring my ball.
- I didn't bring my ball.

213
00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:45,587
Wait a minute... you have
your own bowling ball?

214
00:09:45,612 --> 00:09:47,207
That's the kind of thing
you should have disclosed

215
00:09:47,232 --> 00:09:48,769
on our first date.

216
00:09:48,794 --> 00:09:51,116
It's purple and it's sparkly.

217
00:09:51,646 --> 00:09:55,153
- Hey, that's the color of my
bowling team. - (phone rings)

218
00:09:55,155 --> 00:09:57,863
Oh. It's... it's Jill, but don't worry,

219
00:09:57,888 --> 00:10:00,623
it's just a bookend call.
I'll be-I'll be right back.

220
00:10:00,648 --> 00:10:03,055
Uh, a bookend? That's when an alcoholic

221
00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:04,913
calls someone in the
program in the morning

222
00:10:04,915 --> 00:10:06,888
and then again at night to
let them know they're okay.

223
00:10:06,913 --> 00:10:08,613
Ah, look at you learning the lingo.

224
00:10:08,638 --> 00:10:11,638
Hey. Watch enough Star Trek,
you learn a little Klingon.

225
00:10:13,594 --> 00:10:14,474
(sighs)

226
00:10:15,904 --> 00:10:16,902
Bad news.

227
00:10:17,326 --> 00:10:19,419
Wha... I-I thought
it was a-a bookend.

228
00:10:19,596 --> 00:10:22,121
No. It was Jill's housekeeper.

229
00:10:22,146 --> 00:10:23,813
Jill showed up at her place, drunk.

230
00:10:23,815 --> 00:10:25,279
I-I've got... I got to go get her.

231
00:10:25,304 --> 00:10:26,880
That's crazy... It's Patrick's birthday.

232
00:10:26,905 --> 00:10:27,802
You stay, I'll go.

233
00:10:27,827 --> 00:10:29,543
Thanks, Bonnie. I appreciate it.

234
00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:34,162
You're right. My mom can handle it.

235
00:10:34,187 --> 00:10:35,755
Words I've never said before.

236
00:10:37,757 --> 00:10:40,357
I'm just gonna... eat this in the car.

237
00:10:42,456 --> 00:10:43,708
I'll text you later.

238
00:10:43,733 --> 00:10:44,677
Please.

239
00:10:46,365 --> 00:10:47,810
Thank you for staying.

240
00:10:48,161 --> 00:10:50,244
Of course. (chuckles)

241
00:10:50,542 --> 00:10:52,459
Jill's gonna be all right.

242
00:10:52,727 --> 00:10:54,037
(softly): Yeah.

243
00:10:54,062 --> 00:10:56,229
She definitely is.

244
00:10:59,484 --> 00:11:01,909
Uh, you know what, Christy?

245
00:11:02,252 --> 00:11:03,581
Just go.

246
00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:05,534
Thank you.

247
00:11:05,559 --> 00:11:07,956
I'm sorry, I-I'm just
so worried about her.

248
00:11:11,595 --> 00:11:12,651
Thank you.

249
00:11:14,916 --> 00:11:17,700
Well... I guess this night's a bust.

250
00:11:17,702 --> 00:11:18,862
Should we just get the check and go?

251
00:11:18,887 --> 00:11:21,151
Hell, no. Now we can order
whiskey and not have to sip it.

252
00:11:21,176 --> 00:11:22,342
Waiter!

253
00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:27,689
(knocking) Thank you so much for coming.

254
00:11:27,714 --> 00:11:30,447
- I didn't know who else to call.
- It's okay.

255
00:11:30,885 --> 00:11:32,183
(slurring): Oh, my Lord,

256
00:11:32,185 --> 00:11:35,143
her fingernails are so long.

257
00:11:35,672 --> 00:11:37,205
Hey, Jill.

258
00:11:37,473 --> 00:11:39,657
Oh, my God! Christy! Bonnie!

259
00:11:39,659 --> 00:11:41,987
I didn't know you guys
were friends with Soledad!

260
00:11:43,534 --> 00:11:45,563
Honey, what are you doing here?

261
00:11:45,565 --> 00:11:48,685
Oh, just watching TV,
but I'm a little confused,

262
00:11:48,710 --> 00:11:50,635
'cause it's all in...
(whispers): Mexican.

263
00:11:51,861 --> 00:11:55,049
So, that lady with the
long nails right there...

264
00:11:55,245 --> 00:11:59,043
Her husband is sleeping with
the girl with the pointy boobs,

265
00:11:59,045 --> 00:12:01,385
but pointy is having a baby

266
00:12:01,410 --> 00:12:02,909
with the guy in the eye patch.

267
00:12:02,934 --> 00:12:05,377
- Did I get that right?
- Más o menos.

268
00:12:05,918 --> 00:12:07,698
I love hanging out here.

269
00:12:07,887 --> 00:12:09,799
She's never been to
my house in her life.

270
00:12:10,006 --> 00:12:11,581
I don't even know how she found me.

271
00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:13,356
'Course I know where you live.

272
00:12:13,381 --> 00:12:16,338
I sent you those pears for Christmas.

273
00:12:16,596 --> 00:12:18,682
Oh, yes, so much better than cash.

274
00:12:18,707 --> 00:12:20,907
(speaking Spanish)

275
00:12:30,610 --> 00:12:32,104
Aren't they cute?

276
00:12:32,129 --> 00:12:33,440
Adorable.

277
00:12:34,413 --> 00:12:36,721
We need to get you home.

278
00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:38,393
But I don't want to go.

279
00:12:38,426 --> 00:12:40,627
Jill, you have to get
up. You can't stay here.

280
00:12:40,652 --> 00:12:43,416
Why not? This used to be my couch.

281
00:12:43,460 --> 00:12:45,710
Oh. For all you know,

282
00:12:45,735 --> 00:12:48,570
they had a romantic
evening planned for tonight.

283
00:12:48,595 --> 00:12:50,811
It might even be his birthday,
and you're ruining it.

284
00:12:50,836 --> 00:12:52,336
- Subtle.
- I don't care.

285
00:12:52,361 --> 00:12:53,694
Well, you didn't have to come.

286
00:12:53,719 --> 00:12:54,834
I want to be here for Jill.

287
00:12:54,859 --> 00:12:56,359
Then don't complain about it.

288
00:12:56,384 --> 00:12:57,883
I'm not! You kinda were!

289
00:12:58,187 --> 00:12:59,970
Bye, Soledad!

290
00:12:59,972 --> 00:13:01,921
See you later!

291
00:13:02,285 --> 00:13:05,987
♪ Happy birthday to you. ♪

292
00:13:06,145 --> 00:13:08,233
Make a wish, sweetie.

293
00:13:09,532 --> 00:13:11,960
Remember when we couldn't do
this because people would stare?

294
00:13:11,985 --> 00:13:13,368
Ugh, the dark ages.

295
00:13:13,393 --> 00:13:15,194
- Hold on.
- Oh, I will.

296
00:13:16,374 --> 00:13:18,374
- Will you stop?
- Don't be so touchy.

297
00:13:18,399 --> 00:13:20,483
Oh, I have no problem with
people thinking I'm gay.

298
00:13:20,508 --> 00:13:21,645
I just don't want them thinking

299
00:13:21,670 --> 00:13:23,177
that I couldn't do any better than you.

300
00:13:26,255 --> 00:13:29,166
Oh, man! I forgot about my steak.

301
00:13:29,168 --> 00:13:31,739
Do you think it's still safe to eat?

302
00:13:32,745 --> 00:13:35,286
(groans) Would it stop you if I said no?

303
00:13:36,975 --> 00:13:38,153
Hey.

304
00:13:38,365 --> 00:13:39,739
Hey. How was dinner?

305
00:13:39,764 --> 00:13:41,680
Oh, good. We saved you some cake.

306
00:13:41,705 --> 00:13:44,325
Hey! Cake and steak...
Let's eat it in bed.

307
00:13:45,802 --> 00:13:48,877
If you think you're happy now,
I've got a potato in my pocket.

308
00:13:52,856 --> 00:13:55,140
I know I've said I'm sorry,
like, a thousand times,

309
00:13:55,165 --> 00:13:56,581
but I really, really am sorry.

310
00:13:56,606 --> 00:13:59,354
Hey, it's my birthday for...

311
00:13:59,379 --> 00:14:02,472
two more hours, so what do you say

312
00:14:02,501 --> 00:14:04,900
- we go upstairs and, uh...
- Oh...

313
00:14:04,933 --> 00:14:06,383
we can't.

314
00:14:06,706 --> 00:14:07,955
Jill was afraid to be alone,

315
00:14:07,957 --> 00:14:09,957
so we had to bring her back with us,

316
00:14:09,982 --> 00:14:11,772
and she kind of passed out in my bed.

317
00:14:12,580 --> 00:14:15,212
- Oh.
- But the sofa pulls out.

318
00:14:15,214 --> 00:14:18,716
We can have super hot, quiet sex

319
00:14:18,718 --> 00:14:20,525
that people might walk in on.

320
00:14:21,137 --> 00:14:24,471
Yeah, th-that doesn't
sound super hot to me.

321
00:14:24,473 --> 00:14:27,807
Oh, I-I promise,
tomorrow I am all yours.

322
00:14:27,832 --> 00:14:29,749
Christy, please, stop...

323
00:14:29,774 --> 00:14:31,611
making promises.

324
00:14:31,917 --> 00:14:33,216
You're mad, aren't you?

325
00:14:33,241 --> 00:14:36,916
Yeah, I-I'm mad. Uh, your mom said

326
00:14:36,941 --> 00:14:39,659
that she could handle things
tonight, but you went anyway.

327
00:14:39,684 --> 00:14:42,101
You said it was okay. Well, because
who wants to sit through dinner

328
00:14:42,126 --> 00:14:43,268
with somebody who
doesn't want to be there?

329
00:14:43,293 --> 00:14:45,916
Although my brother just
did, and he really enjoyed it.

330
00:14:48,197 --> 00:14:50,414
I don't know how else to explain it,

331
00:14:50,416 --> 00:14:52,697
- but that Jill really needed me.
- Yeah.

332
00:14:53,150 --> 00:14:55,135
It's late, I'm-I'm tired,

333
00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:58,078
so... let's just go to bed, okay?

334
00:14:59,638 --> 00:15:01,118
It's-It's kind of tricky.

335
00:15:01,143 --> 00:15:02,509
You have to push and then pull.

336
00:15:02,511 --> 00:15:04,011
I-I got it.

337
00:15:06,182 --> 00:15:07,598
(strained grunt)

338
00:15:07,600 --> 00:15:09,650
PATRICK: Ow! My fingers!

339
00:15:09,675 --> 00:15:12,475
(laughs): He's so miserable.

340
00:15:12,738 --> 00:15:14,855
Mmm. You know that part of you

341
00:15:14,857 --> 00:15:17,274
- that takes pleasure in
other people's pain?

342
00:15:17,276 --> 00:15:20,444
- Yeah.
- Mmm. Totally turns me on.

343
00:15:24,416 --> 00:15:27,666
Oh, my God,
Adam, you're walking... It's a miracle!

344
00:15:30,039 --> 00:15:32,099
No. Uh... not Adam.

345
00:15:32,124 --> 00:15:34,041
I'm his brother, Patrick.

346
00:15:34,215 --> 00:15:37,268
Oh, yeah. That makes more sense.

347
00:15:38,057 --> 00:15:39,490
Coffee, please?

348
00:15:39,553 --> 00:15:41,032
Little agave?

349
00:15:41,627 --> 00:15:43,377
You must be Jill.

350
00:15:45,054 --> 00:15:46,471
Thank you.

351
00:15:46,902 --> 00:15:48,401
How'd you hurt your hand?

352
00:15:48,729 --> 00:15:52,059
Oh. I, uh... lost a fight

353
00:15:52,061 --> 00:15:53,221
with a pullout couch.

354
00:15:53,623 --> 00:15:55,623
Oh, I took your bed, didn't I?

355
00:15:55,648 --> 00:15:56,792
Kinda.

356
00:15:57,209 --> 00:15:59,709
I wasn't always a mess like this.

357
00:16:00,565 --> 00:16:01,847
I mean...

358
00:16:01,872 --> 00:16:04,006
I was and then I wasn't...

359
00:16:04,290 --> 00:16:06,565
and then I got fat and
then I got skinny...

360
00:16:07,931 --> 00:16:09,790
and now I'm a mess again.

361
00:16:09,996 --> 00:16:11,371
Go figure.

362
00:16:11,531 --> 00:16:12,830
Sorry to hear that.

363
00:16:13,215 --> 00:16:14,676
Thanks.

364
00:16:15,998 --> 00:16:17,707
You know, in the past...

365
00:16:18,785 --> 00:16:21,221
every time I relapsed,
I was able to get back,

366
00:16:21,223 --> 00:16:23,004
but this time I'm just...

367
00:16:24,311 --> 00:16:26,402
I'm just kind of lost.

368
00:16:28,064 --> 00:16:29,513
Thank God I have Christy.

369
00:16:30,437 --> 00:16:31,565
(chuckles softly) She took hold of me

370
00:16:31,567 --> 00:16:33,817
the very first time I
walked into a meeting,

371
00:16:33,819 --> 00:16:36,070
and she's been right there ever since.

372
00:16:37,719 --> 00:16:39,484
I don't know what I'd do without her.

373
00:16:41,287 --> 00:16:42,976
Yeah, she's, uh...

374
00:16:43,788 --> 00:16:46,697
she's pretty special. (chuckles)

375
00:16:48,667 --> 00:16:51,418
You know, for only having
eight working fingers,

376
00:16:51,420 --> 00:16:53,054
you make great coffee.

377
00:16:53,627 --> 00:16:55,913
Thanks. Just don't ask
me to shoot a basketball.

378
00:16:57,022 --> 00:16:59,936
Why would I ask you
to shoot a basketball?

379
00:17:02,345 --> 00:17:04,692
Oh, hey. You two met.

380
00:17:04,717 --> 00:17:06,133
(chuckles) Yeah.

381
00:17:06,135 --> 00:17:07,184
He's a good one.

382
00:17:07,186 --> 00:17:08,385
Aw. Hey, uh, Christy,

383
00:17:08,387 --> 00:17:09,904
you got a minute?

384
00:17:09,929 --> 00:17:11,279
Uh, sure.

385
00:17:14,373 --> 00:17:16,216
Before you say anything,

386
00:17:16,241 --> 00:17:19,065
she's leaving, and you and I
are gonna have our day together.

387
00:17:19,090 --> 00:17:21,140
Yeah, about that, um...

388
00:17:23,482 --> 00:17:24,785
I'm gonna go home.

389
00:17:25,388 --> 00:17:28,405
- You're still mad.
- No, I'm not mad.

390
00:17:28,407 --> 00:17:29,677
I get it.

391
00:17:29,959 --> 00:17:32,748
Your friend's in trouble
and she needs you.

392
00:17:32,912 --> 00:17:34,068
But?

393
00:17:35,380 --> 00:17:38,333
I just don't know where I fit in here.

394
00:17:39,638 --> 00:17:42,669
I know this has not
been the ideal weekend,

395
00:17:42,671 --> 00:17:46,306
but you got to understand,
helping people stay sober

396
00:17:46,308 --> 00:17:49,226
is part of what helps me stay sober.

397
00:17:49,228 --> 00:17:50,888
So it has to come first.

398
00:17:51,230 --> 00:17:53,763
Well, I guess that means
I'll always be second.

399
00:17:55,588 --> 00:17:57,588
I'm crazy about you.

400
00:17:58,009 --> 00:18:01,465
But if I don't stay
sober, there is no second.

401
00:18:01,623 --> 00:18:03,040
Well...

402
00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:05,766
I don't know...

403
00:18:06,965 --> 00:18:08,961
if this is gonna work for me.

404
00:18:09,584 --> 00:18:11,000
Oh.

405
00:18:13,115 --> 00:18:15,248
Where does that leave us?

406
00:18:18,186 --> 00:18:19,955
I'm not sure.

407
00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:23,041
You know, let's talk
in a few days, okay?

408
00:18:23,929 --> 00:18:25,712
Okay.

409
00:18:50,903 --> 00:18:52,806
I feel asleep on cake.

410
00:18:55,277 --> 00:18:56,526
What's wrong?

411
00:18:58,047 --> 00:18:59,540
Patrick just left.

412
00:18:59,565 --> 00:19:02,115
- Already?
- Yeah.

413
00:19:02,551 --> 00:19:04,915
Too much AA, not enough Christy.

414
00:19:09,091 --> 00:19:10,929
(sighs): Oh.

415
00:19:12,678 --> 00:19:15,062
Don't worry, honey,
he'll... he'll get over it.

416
00:19:15,347 --> 00:19:16,554
I don't know.

417
00:19:20,352 --> 00:19:21,655
(Jill clears throat)

418
00:19:22,327 --> 00:19:23,991
I'm trying to piece together

419
00:19:24,024 --> 00:19:25,941
what happened last night.

420
00:19:27,489 --> 00:19:29,655
Did I go to Mexico?

421
00:19:35,669 --> 00:19:36,801
Look at this.

422
00:19:36,803 --> 00:19:39,003
Homemade apricot jam from Gloria.

423
00:19:39,005 --> 00:19:41,223
Somebody just got
invited to the wedding.

424
00:19:41,692 --> 00:19:44,342
We give away chips for
various lengths of sobriety.

425
00:19:44,344 --> 00:19:46,394
Our chip person is Marjorie.

426
00:19:46,396 --> 00:19:48,429
Hi. Marjorie. Alcoholic.

427
00:19:48,431 --> 00:19:49,931
OTHERS: Hi, Marjorie.

428
00:19:49,933 --> 00:19:51,825
Would anyone like a newcomer chip?

429
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:59,968
I'm not taking another
one... It's too embarrassing.

430
00:20:00,748 --> 00:20:02,443
You have nothing to
be embarrassed about.

431
00:20:03,006 --> 00:20:05,029
What if I take a newcomer
chip at every meeting

432
00:20:05,031 --> 00:20:06,614
for the rest of my life?

433
00:20:06,616 --> 00:20:07,949
MAN: I'm an alcoholic.

434
00:20:08,068 --> 00:20:10,006
Then I'll be right here with you.

435
00:20:11,881 --> 00:20:13,061
MARJORIE: Anyone else want

436
00:20:13,086 --> 00:20:14,919
to take a newcomer chip?

437
00:20:23,490 --> 00:20:25,217
What's your name, honey?

438
00:20:27,329 --> 00:20:28,655
Oh, right.

439
00:20:31,092 --> 00:20:33,107
Hi. I'm Jill, and I'm an alcoholic.

440
00:20:33,303 --> 00:20:34,859
OTHERS: Hi, Jill.

441
00:20:35,733 --> 00:20:36,811
Okay.

442
00:20:37,373 --> 00:20:39,947
Would anyone like to
take a chip for 30 days?

443
00:20:45,799 --> 00:20:48,881
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --