1
00:00:04,891 --> 00:00:06,929
Really? That's how you're gonna do it?

2
00:00:07,914 --> 00:00:09,810
Wendy, she's a prison nurse,

3
00:00:09,812 --> 00:00:12,696
which means she can kick
your ass and bandage you up.

4
00:00:13,533 --> 00:00:15,023
Not properly.

5
00:00:17,403 --> 00:00:20,507
Follow my finger, follow my finger.

6
00:00:20,656 --> 00:00:22,239
What are you looking for?

7
00:00:22,241 --> 00:00:23,984
I don't know.

8
00:00:24,867 --> 00:00:26,327
I'm fine.

9
00:00:26,329 --> 00:00:28,412
I think I just took a clog to the head.

10
00:00:28,515 --> 00:00:31,617
I'm sorry. They help
me with my back pain.

11
00:00:31,801 --> 00:00:34,804
And it wasn't my fault,
someone hit me with Wendy.

12
00:00:36,472 --> 00:00:37,796
Oh, my God, my watch.

13
00:00:37,924 --> 00:00:40,367
My watch. Someone stole my watch!

14
00:00:41,060 --> 00:00:43,851
Oh wait, I hid it in my bra.

15
00:00:45,147 --> 00:00:46,730
Is everyone all right?

16
00:00:46,732 --> 00:00:50,100
- No, her arm is broken.
- It's not broken.

17
00:00:50,102 --> 00:00:51,890
It's just poorly bandaged.

18
00:00:52,438 --> 00:00:55,648
We were just trying to
help some alcoholics.

19
00:00:56,078 --> 00:00:58,828
Oh, hey. Anyone lose an earring?

20
00:00:58,853 --> 00:01:00,765
Ah! It's a tooth!

21
00:01:09,191 --> 00:01:13,679
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --

22
00:01:16,609 --> 00:01:19,277
Can you tell me exactly
what happened here?

23
00:01:19,279 --> 00:01:20,555
(all talking at once)

24
00:01:21,796 --> 00:01:24,835
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
One at a time, please.

25
00:01:25,063 --> 00:01:26,780
Okay, okay.

26
00:01:26,782 --> 00:01:30,283
I organized an AA
meeting for your inmates

27
00:01:30,285 --> 00:01:33,976
and we were all very excited
to be here this afternoon.

28
00:01:34,156 --> 00:01:37,210
Oh, God, why do we have to do this?

29
00:01:37,376 --> 00:01:39,242
Adam and I had plans.

30
00:01:39,244 --> 00:01:41,745
- To do what?
- Anything but this.

31
00:01:41,747 --> 00:01:43,496
And how did I get roped into driving?

32
00:01:43,498 --> 00:01:45,632
I should be in the back
seat studying for the LSATs.

33
00:01:45,634 --> 00:01:47,667
Hmm. Trust me, you
do not want be crammed

34
00:01:47,669 --> 00:01:49,169
in this little back seat.

35
00:01:49,171 --> 00:01:52,138
It's like a Red Bull
graveyard back here.

36
00:01:52,140 --> 00:01:54,984
Or as I like to call it, sober cocaine.

37
00:01:56,484 --> 00:01:57,978
Why didn't we take your car?

38
00:01:57,980 --> 00:02:00,273
It's roomy and it has
the Broadway Channel.

39
00:02:00,849 --> 00:02:03,233
Those crooks see me pull
up in my Range Rover,

40
00:02:03,235 --> 00:02:05,485
next thing you know I'm a
hostage with a torn blouse

41
00:02:05,487 --> 00:02:07,734
doing whatever it takes to survive.

42
00:02:09,241 --> 00:02:10,851
Go on.

43
00:02:13,046 --> 00:02:16,125
Jill, there's guards in the room.
We'll be fine.

44
00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:19,366
There will be guards, right, Marjorie?

45
00:02:19,368 --> 00:02:23,265
Yes, and we all agreed to
do this panel months ago.

46
00:02:23,290 --> 00:02:26,179
Only because you're old
and we assumed you'd forget.

47
00:02:26,603 --> 00:02:28,101
Mom, I'll give you a hundred bucks

48
00:02:28,126 --> 00:02:29,626
if you remember our phone number.

49
00:02:31,144 --> 00:02:33,449
Five... something.

50
00:02:35,778 --> 00:02:38,090
I just don't know what I have to offer.

51
00:02:38,115 --> 00:02:40,971
A bunch of convicts aren't
gonna relate to my story:

52
00:02:40,973 --> 00:02:43,890
some rich bitch who went to
four fancy rehabs to get sober.

53
00:02:43,892 --> 00:02:45,442
It's just gonna make 'em angry.

54
00:02:45,444 --> 00:02:46,746
It makes me angry.

55
00:02:46,771 --> 00:02:50,207
Look, it's important to share
our recovery with these women.

56
00:02:50,449 --> 00:02:53,324
The first meeting I ever went
to was when I was in prison.

57
00:02:53,652 --> 00:02:56,207
Who knows, you can change
someone's life today.

58
00:02:56,428 --> 00:02:59,155
Or we could assume their lives
are fine and just go home.

59
00:02:59,157 --> 00:03:00,824
I'm excited to talk to them.

60
00:03:00,826 --> 00:03:03,660
I even came up with a few
jokes to break the ice.

61
00:03:03,662 --> 00:03:06,286
So these two serial
killers are in a canoe...

62
00:03:06,311 --> 00:03:10,130
Stop. I am not getting shivved because
you want to be Jimmy Kimmel.

63
00:03:11,083 --> 00:03:13,503
You don't get "shivved,"
you get "shanked.

64
00:03:13,505 --> 00:03:15,552
A shiv is a thing you get shanked with.

65
00:03:15,622 --> 00:03:17,599
You get shanked with a shiv.

66
00:03:20,216 --> 00:03:23,897
ANDREA: Excuse me.
Can you move the story along?

67
00:03:24,341 --> 00:03:26,816
I'm sorry, I'm just
trying to give you context.

68
00:03:26,911 --> 00:03:29,544
JILL: Marjorie, let
me take it from here.

69
00:03:30,044 --> 00:03:31,771
We arrived, ate a bowl

70
00:03:31,773 --> 00:03:33,550
of something gray with cornbread.

71
00:03:33,989 --> 00:03:36,526
Then we started the
panel for the inmates.

72
00:03:36,528 --> 00:03:38,111
Wendy bombed with her jokes.

73
00:03:38,113 --> 00:03:40,622
Hey, they were starting to warm up.

74
00:03:40,749 --> 00:03:42,880
Someone spit on you.

75
00:03:44,419 --> 00:03:45,869
Then Christy did her usual

76
00:03:45,871 --> 00:03:47,921
"hate my mom, gonna be a lawyer" deal,

77
00:03:47,923 --> 00:03:49,873
then it was my turn to share my story.

78
00:03:49,875 --> 00:03:52,294
Which wasn't your story at all.

79
00:03:52,888 --> 00:03:55,583
All right, I may have
gotten off to a rocky start.

80
00:03:56,014 --> 00:03:57,419
I'm not gonna lie,

81
00:03:57,624 --> 00:03:59,741
it's just so hard being poor.

82
00:04:00,419 --> 00:04:02,469
Jugglin' four jobs

83
00:04:02,471 --> 00:04:05,833
at four different job places.

84
00:04:08,810 --> 00:04:11,013
Okay, even I didn't
believe what I just said.

85
00:04:11,638 --> 00:04:14,064
Truth is, I'm rich.
Like, "I don't even know

86
00:04:14,066 --> 00:04:17,739
how much a loaf of bread
costs" rich. (sighs)

87
00:04:17,769 --> 00:04:20,069
But all that money
couldn't keep me from using.

88
00:04:20,481 --> 00:04:23,075
I recently threw away
three years of sobriety.

89
00:04:23,492 --> 00:04:26,409
I was drinking in every
room of my big, fancy house,

90
00:04:26,566 --> 00:04:28,317
including the gym.

91
00:04:28,356 --> 00:04:30,330
It's real hard to
crash a stationary bike,

92
00:04:30,332 --> 00:04:31,831
but it can be done.

93
00:04:33,427 --> 00:04:34,918
Now I've got a little over a month

94
00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:36,763
and I'm holding on for dear life.

95
00:04:37,478 --> 00:04:39,388
I'm not sure if that
makes sense to any of you,

96
00:04:39,413 --> 00:04:41,391
but, that's my story.

97
00:04:41,603 --> 00:04:43,303
Thank you.

98
00:04:46,724 --> 00:04:49,065
Shoulda skipped the part about the gym.

99
00:04:49,067 --> 00:04:51,341
Why? They got a gym here.

100
00:04:51,927 --> 00:04:55,605
First, let me apologize for
Wendy's "captive audience" joke.

101
00:04:55,607 --> 00:04:57,599
She doesn't get out much.

102
00:04:57,859 --> 00:05:00,577
Well, probably more than you.

103
00:05:00,579 --> 00:05:02,495
(laughter)

104
00:05:02,777 --> 00:05:04,727
That's how it's done.

105
00:05:05,458 --> 00:05:07,784
Anyway, I'm Bonnie and I'm an alcoholic.

106
00:05:08,066 --> 00:05:10,400
INMATES: Hi, Bonnie. Bonnie Plunkett?

107
00:05:10,546 --> 00:05:12,379
You ruined my life!

108
00:05:12,404 --> 00:05:14,070
(screams)

109
00:05:14,292 --> 00:05:16,209
Code three, rec room.

110
00:05:16,211 --> 00:05:17,594
- Oh, God.
- (indistinct shouting)

111
00:05:17,596 --> 00:05:19,379
Oh, my God! I'm gonna die

112
00:05:19,381 --> 00:05:21,145
in a women's prison!

113
00:05:21,974 --> 00:05:24,634
Well, how do you know Tammy Diffendorf?

114
00:05:24,636 --> 00:05:27,887
I don't. I have never
seen her before in my life.

115
00:05:28,153 --> 00:05:29,639
But she knew your name

116
00:05:29,641 --> 00:05:31,524
and said she wanted to kill you.

117
00:05:31,634 --> 00:05:33,918
My mom gets that more
often than you think.

118
00:05:35,404 --> 00:05:37,238
Do you want to press charges?

119
00:05:38,984 --> 00:05:41,317
Would there be any monetary compensation

120
00:05:41,319 --> 00:05:42,986
for my pain and suffering?

121
00:05:42,988 --> 00:05:44,177
No.

122
00:05:44,819 --> 00:05:46,520
Pass.

123
00:05:49,578 --> 00:05:51,995
37 years I've been doing these panels,

124
00:05:51,997 --> 00:05:54,247
never once have I been hit with a chair.

125
00:05:54,404 --> 00:05:57,012
(scoffs) Are you
implying this is my fault?

126
00:05:57,294 --> 00:05:59,302
She didn't threaten to kill me.

127
00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:02,083
She would if she knew you.

128
00:06:02,981 --> 00:06:04,511
You really don't remember who she is?

129
00:06:04,536 --> 00:06:06,009
I'm telling you, I don't know her.

130
00:06:06,011 --> 00:06:08,841
Tammy Diffendorf is
not a name you forget.

131
00:06:09,481 --> 00:06:12,065
Maybe she's someone from your drug days.

132
00:06:12,067 --> 00:06:14,851
Everyone who wants to kill
me is from my drug days.

133
00:06:15,251 --> 00:06:16,825
No, they're not.

134
00:06:19,013 --> 00:06:21,524
Hopefully, we managed to do some good

135
00:06:21,526 --> 00:06:23,443
before the riot broke out.

136
00:06:23,445 --> 00:06:25,495
I think my story touched people.

137
00:06:25,497 --> 00:06:26,913
I saw a few tears.

138
00:06:26,977 --> 00:06:28,583
Those were tattoos.

139
00:06:30,325 --> 00:06:31,951
I think they really connected

140
00:06:31,953 --> 00:06:33,503
with your story, Christy:

141
00:06:33,505 --> 00:06:36,005
ex-stripper studying to be a lawyer.

142
00:06:36,466 --> 00:06:38,013
They did, didn't they?

143
00:06:38,497 --> 00:06:41,183
Like if they were to
make a movie of my life,

144
00:06:41,208 --> 00:06:43,880
that scene would definitely
be in the trailer.

145
00:06:43,882 --> 00:06:46,599
Well, I'm glad you all
had such a wonderful time.

146
00:06:46,601 --> 00:06:49,552
Meanwhile, some maniac
named Tammy is running around

147
00:06:49,554 --> 00:06:52,239
with my DNA under her fingernails.

148
00:06:52,941 --> 00:06:55,794
Tammy... Tammy...

149
00:06:56,478 --> 00:06:58,575
Who the hell is Tammy?

150
00:07:02,033 --> 00:07:04,067
Tammy. Tammy.

151
00:07:04,397 --> 00:07:07,915
- Tammy, Tammy, Tammy, Tammy, Tammy.
- Mom.

152
00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:09,893
I've got an idea.

153
00:07:10,075 --> 00:07:12,959
You say the name "Tammy" 500 more times,

154
00:07:12,961 --> 00:07:14,877
I'm gonna go thank my lucky stars

155
00:07:14,879 --> 00:07:16,579
for a toilet with a seat.

156
00:07:18,457 --> 00:07:23,010
Tammy... Tammy... Tammy.

157
00:07:27,547 --> 00:07:31,395
Tammy... Tammy.

158
00:07:33,815 --> 00:07:35,474
(muffled): Tammy.

159
00:07:38,013 --> 00:07:40,770
Guys, I had a major breakthrough
at the meeting today.

160
00:07:40,772 --> 00:07:42,739
I mean, it was like a thunderbolt.

161
00:07:42,741 --> 00:07:45,325
Every mistake I've ever
made in my life is because...

162
00:07:45,350 --> 00:07:47,860
Oh, my God! Tammy.

163
00:07:47,862 --> 00:07:50,663
- I was talking.
- I know, and thank you.

164
00:07:50,665 --> 00:07:52,532
That's when I do my best thinking.

165
00:07:55,496 --> 00:07:56,887
So you remember?

166
00:07:56,912 --> 00:07:58,864
Yes, I don't know if it's the coffee

167
00:07:58,889 --> 00:08:00,762
or me not wanting to hear Wendy's story,

168
00:08:00,787 --> 00:08:02,571
but it's finally coming back to me.

169
00:08:03,302 --> 00:08:05,191
Maybe we should let Wendy finish.

170
00:08:05,216 --> 00:08:06,799
Oh, come on, Marjorie.

171
00:08:06,801 --> 00:08:08,384
A gigantic woman tackled Bonnie.

172
00:08:08,386 --> 00:08:10,849
Tell me you don't want to
hear the "who," "what," "why."

173
00:08:11,372 --> 00:08:13,653
I think I may have mentioned in passing

174
00:08:13,678 --> 00:08:15,211
that I was in foster care.

175
00:08:15,236 --> 00:08:17,145
- Nah. - Stop.
- No, really? - You?

176
00:08:17,505 --> 00:08:18,997
Anyway, when I was 14,

177
00:08:19,022 --> 00:08:20,770
I got placed with a family in Vallejo.

178
00:08:20,795 --> 00:08:23,462
Ew. Vallejo? Sounds dusty.

179
00:08:23,568 --> 00:08:26,436
I'd been bouncing from one
crap hole to another for years,

180
00:08:26,438 --> 00:08:28,489
but this new place was actually decent.

181
00:08:28,514 --> 00:08:30,834
I had my own room for the first time.

182
00:08:30,859 --> 00:08:32,492
I could drink, smoke dope,

183
00:08:32,494 --> 00:08:34,327
sneak boys in through the window,

184
00:08:34,329 --> 00:08:37,280
but then they took in this other girl.

185
00:08:40,722 --> 00:08:42,372
Tammy?

186
00:08:43,955 --> 00:08:45,263
Tammy.

187
00:08:45,624 --> 00:08:48,791
She had these adorable French braids.

188
00:08:48,793 --> 00:08:50,960
She did her homework every night.

189
00:08:50,962 --> 00:08:53,463
She helped around the
house with the chores.

190
00:08:53,465 --> 00:08:56,513
She was polite, considerate, cheerful.

191
00:08:56,685 --> 00:08:58,888
I hated her guts.

192
00:09:00,255 --> 00:09:02,130
Having Little Miss Perfect around

193
00:09:02,155 --> 00:09:03,544
was screwing my sweet deal.

194
00:09:03,569 --> 00:09:06,120
I had to find a way to
bring her to the dark side.

195
00:09:06,145 --> 00:09:07,645
Turns out, I'm really good

196
00:09:07,670 --> 00:09:09,623
at bringing people to the dark side.

197
00:09:09,648 --> 00:09:11,872
- Stop. - No.
- Really? - What?

198
00:09:12,746 --> 00:09:14,712
Anyway, she had this boyfriend,

199
00:09:14,737 --> 00:09:16,895
another straight-A,
goody-two-shoes nerd.

200
00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:19,004
But the nerd had a penis,
and that made him weak.

201
00:09:19,700 --> 00:09:22,792
So, I had my friend
Donna... Very chesty,

202
00:09:22,794 --> 00:09:24,994
lots of tube tops, she's dead now...

203
00:09:25,536 --> 00:09:28,131
I had her make out
with him behind the gym

204
00:09:28,133 --> 00:09:31,067
just as I innocently walked
Tammy around the corner.

205
00:09:31,538 --> 00:09:33,813
Oh, she was devastated.

206
00:09:34,063 --> 00:09:38,065
Luckily, I had the perfect
thing to comfort her.

207
00:09:42,333 --> 00:09:44,364
BONNIE: Wanna get away?

208
00:09:46,442 --> 00:09:47,593
Before I knew it,

209
00:09:47,618 --> 00:09:49,818
Tammy went bad girl in a big way.

210
00:09:49,843 --> 00:09:51,631
Even I was impressed. She was

211
00:09:51,656 --> 00:09:53,273
wakin' and bakin', flunkin' tests,

212
00:09:53,275 --> 00:09:54,856
buying vodka from the janitor.

213
00:09:54,931 --> 00:09:56,931
Pfft. A month later, she was gone.

214
00:09:56,956 --> 00:09:58,422
(laughs)

215
00:09:58,496 --> 00:10:01,247
Ah, misty water-colored memories.

216
00:10:02,644 --> 00:10:04,844
So, who wants to split a chef's salad?

217
00:10:07,817 --> 00:10:10,692
What? A whole salad makes me bloaty.

218
00:10:12,239 --> 00:10:14,504
Bonnie, you do realize

219
00:10:14,529 --> 00:10:16,949
what you did to Tammy was wrong...

220
00:10:17,979 --> 00:10:21,814
Although impressively
complex for a 14-year-old.

221
00:10:22,848 --> 00:10:25,282
Mm. Not that impressive.

222
00:10:25,481 --> 00:10:27,523
14-year-olds
are pure evil.

223
00:10:27,525 --> 00:10:30,276
I spent three semesters
taking down an art teacher.

224
00:10:30,278 --> 00:10:33,520
Tell me my horse
painting was unrealistic.

225
00:10:34,323 --> 00:10:36,573
What is it with janitors and vodka?

226
00:10:36,818 --> 00:10:39,068
Our junior high janitor
didn't have a hand,

227
00:10:39,070 --> 00:10:41,348
but he always had vodka.

228
00:10:43,739 --> 00:10:45,965
Are you saying it's
my fault she's in jail?

229
00:10:45,990 --> 00:10:48,054
No, I didn't say that.

230
00:10:48,079 --> 00:10:50,079
Then what are you saying, Marjorie?

231
00:10:51,379 --> 00:10:54,463
- May I?
- Yes. I'm so tired of this.

232
00:10:58,890 --> 00:11:02,091
"And so, I-I'd like to make amends

233
00:11:02,093 --> 00:11:05,011
"for those terrible things I did to you

234
00:11:05,013 --> 00:11:07,313
"when we were both struggling

235
00:11:07,315 --> 00:11:10,168
with the challenges of
the foster care system."

236
00:11:12,348 --> 00:11:13,840
That's it?

237
00:11:14,272 --> 00:11:17,403
That's all I prepared,
but I could riff a little.

238
00:11:17,785 --> 00:11:19,158
You're unbelievable.

239
00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:21,027
Thank you, but I can't take full credit.

240
00:11:21,029 --> 00:11:23,801
I've learned a lot from the
program, but most of it is me.

241
00:11:24,348 --> 00:11:26,366
Screw your program. I
only went to that meeting

242
00:11:26,368 --> 00:11:28,699
to get away from my
masturbating cellmate.

243
00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:30,637
Talk about addiction.

244
00:11:32,488 --> 00:11:34,457
Is she top bunk, or bottom bunk?

245
00:11:34,459 --> 00:11:36,659
I-I don't know why I asked that.

246
00:11:37,128 --> 00:11:40,046
Let me get this straight.
You drove all the way out here

247
00:11:40,048 --> 00:11:42,298
to apologize to me
for handing me a joint

248
00:11:42,300 --> 00:11:43,800
and messing around with my boyfriend?

249
00:11:43,802 --> 00:11:46,355
Technically, that was
Donna, may she rest in peace.

250
00:11:46,380 --> 00:11:48,394
Oh, she's dead? Good.

251
00:11:49,607 --> 00:11:52,408
Now when are you gonna apologize
for what you really did to me?

252
00:11:52,433 --> 00:11:54,871
Well, um, I was hoping

253
00:11:54,896 --> 00:11:58,064
my apology was, uh, more
of a blanket type deal,

254
00:11:58,066 --> 00:11:59,982
but if there are specifics,

255
00:11:59,984 --> 00:12:02,068
I could tackle them on
a case-by-case basis.

256
00:12:02,070 --> 00:12:03,891
You got me kicked out of that house!

257
00:12:03,916 --> 00:12:05,382
No, no, you got kicked out

258
00:12:05,407 --> 00:12:06,773
'cause you stole our
foster father's wallet.

259
00:12:06,798 --> 00:12:08,184
No, you stole his wallet

260
00:12:08,209 --> 00:12:10,305
- and planted it in my book bag.
- Oh.

261
00:12:10,662 --> 00:12:13,469
Ooh. Yeah.

262
00:12:15,110 --> 00:12:17,587
They kicked me out and
put me in a group home.

263
00:12:17,886 --> 00:12:20,670
It was hell, so I took off.

264
00:12:21,477 --> 00:12:23,840
I was 14 years old,
living on the street,

265
00:12:23,842 --> 00:12:26,040
doing stuff I didn't even
know I was capable of.

266
00:12:26,311 --> 00:12:29,345
Aw, Tammy, I'm so sorry.

267
00:12:29,347 --> 00:12:31,376
Yeah, well, "sorry"
doesn't help me, does it?

268
00:12:31,401 --> 00:12:33,477
'Cause you're out
there, and I'm in here.

269
00:12:34,323 --> 00:12:37,491
I spent the last 40 years
wishing I never met you.

270
00:12:39,165 --> 00:12:40,690
Guard?

271
00:12:47,188 --> 00:12:50,750
I'm so upset about what
I did to this woman.

272
00:12:50,752 --> 00:12:52,524
I can't eat, I can't sleep.

273
00:12:52,549 --> 00:12:54,962
I'm haunted, like the guy
who hears his own heart

274
00:12:54,987 --> 00:12:57,070
through the wall in
that Stephen King book.

275
00:12:57,375 --> 00:12:59,375
- Like she read a book.
- BONNIE: I'm telling you...

276
00:12:59,377 --> 00:13:01,844
- ...it's been a nightmare.
- Like she has a heart.

277
00:13:02,347 --> 00:13:04,430
You know, a week ago,

278
00:13:04,432 --> 00:13:06,933
I couldn't even remember
who this woman was.

279
00:13:06,935 --> 00:13:08,801
Turns out I ruined her life.

280
00:13:09,141 --> 00:13:11,270
Makes me wonder how
many other peoples' lives

281
00:13:11,272 --> 00:13:12,829
I might have ruined.

282
00:13:16,282 --> 00:13:18,861
That I don't know of.

283
00:13:19,981 --> 00:13:23,149
Anyway, made my amends, totally tanked.

284
00:13:23,151 --> 00:13:25,485
Just wish there was
something else I could do.

285
00:13:26,955 --> 00:13:28,871
Happy to be sober, where every day

286
00:13:28,873 --> 00:13:31,407
I get to discover new ways I'm terrible.

287
00:13:33,274 --> 00:13:34,907
Anyone else like to share?

288
00:13:34,932 --> 00:13:38,829
- I'll go. Christy, alcoholic.
- ALL: Hi, Christy.

289
00:13:38,854 --> 00:13:42,168
First of all, the book my
mother was referring to was

290
00:13:42,170 --> 00:13:44,837
The Telltale Heart by Edgar Allan Poe.

291
00:13:44,839 --> 00:13:46,993
I liked it better when she was stupid.

292
00:13:47,443 --> 00:13:50,110
I bitch about my life
in this room a lot,

293
00:13:50,329 --> 00:13:55,658
but... after visiting that prison,
I got to say, I feel lucky.

294
00:13:56,313 --> 00:13:58,985
I met women in there doing
time for things I've done.

295
00:13:58,987 --> 00:14:00,696
I just didn't get caught.

296
00:14:01,823 --> 00:14:04,357
It's funny. Getting into law school

297
00:14:04,359 --> 00:14:06,079
has been such a pain in the ass.

298
00:14:06,317 --> 00:14:09,034
I was starting to wonder
if it was worth it.

299
00:14:10,180 --> 00:14:15,117
But if some day, I get to help just
one of these women, I know it is.

300
00:14:16,788 --> 00:14:20,456
Who knows? Maybe I can
devote my entire practice

301
00:14:20,458 --> 00:14:22,337
to people my mother destroyed.

302
00:14:24,986 --> 00:14:27,180
But will I hear a thank you?

303
00:14:34,798 --> 00:14:37,390
Hey, there she is!

304
00:14:37,392 --> 00:14:39,516
They said you have a
prepaid phone card for me?

305
00:14:40,048 --> 00:14:42,757
And six pairs of underwear
in various styles.

306
00:14:42,782 --> 00:14:44,146
If you're not a thong girl,

307
00:14:44,148 --> 00:14:46,115
perhaps you could
barter them for snacks.

308
00:14:47,047 --> 00:14:49,555
Hi. I'm her daughter Christy.

309
00:14:50,231 --> 00:14:52,657
Man, how much did you smoke?

310
00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:57,126
In her defense, she didn't
know she was pregnant

311
00:14:57,128 --> 00:14:58,744
till I fell out of her.

312
00:14:58,746 --> 00:15:00,713
We're not here to talk about me.

313
00:15:00,715 --> 00:15:02,582
Now, I went to the prison officials

314
00:15:02,584 --> 00:15:05,751
and explained your attack
on me was totally justified.

315
00:15:05,753 --> 00:15:08,383
- You get me my privileges back?
- No. They laughed at me.

316
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:10,408
Actually, they were
kind of mean about it.

317
00:15:10,675 --> 00:15:12,712
And a little condescending.

318
00:15:13,611 --> 00:15:16,289
Be sure to give the
prison a bad Yelp review.

319
00:15:16,883 --> 00:15:18,064
Are we done here?

320
00:15:18,089 --> 00:15:21,108
No. The reason I brought my
daughter is she's a lawyer.

321
00:15:21,133 --> 00:15:23,421
Not a lawyer, not yet.

322
00:15:23,446 --> 00:15:26,234
But I know one, and he's agreed
to take a look at your case.

323
00:15:26,259 --> 00:15:27,626
Yeah, we thought we could see

324
00:15:27,651 --> 00:15:29,079
if there was a way we
could get you out early.

325
00:15:29,104 --> 00:15:31,407
Oh, that's great because
I totally didn't mean

326
00:15:31,432 --> 00:15:32,883
to kill those people and eat them.

327
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:35,358
What?

328
00:15:35,383 --> 00:15:37,743
Kidding. I robbed an
Outback Steakhouse.

329
00:15:37,924 --> 00:15:40,751
Just my luck, it was
"Cops Eat Free" night.

330
00:15:40,776 --> 00:15:44,204
I was arrested by 32 people.

331
00:15:45,727 --> 00:15:49,626
Okay, well, did any of
them get a little grabby?

332
00:15:49,651 --> 00:15:51,243
This is our time.

333
00:15:51,803 --> 00:15:53,602
I was tripping balls
on mushrooms, sweetie.

334
00:15:53,627 --> 00:15:55,126
I got no idea.

335
00:15:55,507 --> 00:15:59,532
- So, are we done?
- Uh, yeah. Guess so.

336
00:16:00,338 --> 00:16:01,649
Tammy?

337
00:16:02,934 --> 00:16:04,633
Listen, I-I know you hate my mom,

338
00:16:04,658 --> 00:16:06,376
and you have every right to,

339
00:16:06,401 --> 00:16:10,571
but you should know she
genuinely feels terrible,

340
00:16:10,902 --> 00:16:13,403
and now she's a really good person.

341
00:16:14,771 --> 00:16:16,854
Well, she's a better person.

342
00:16:17,407 --> 00:16:19,024
She's a person.

343
00:16:19,964 --> 00:16:21,415
Let's go, Christy.

344
00:16:21,468 --> 00:16:23,508
- Hey, Plunkett?
- BOTH: Yeah.

345
00:16:23,533 --> 00:16:25,450
Not you, Cigarette Baby.

346
00:16:31,804 --> 00:16:34,254
Those people we lived with...
They end up adopting you?

347
00:16:34,279 --> 00:16:36,782
Hell, no. I got kicked out
two weeks after you did.

348
00:16:36,807 --> 00:16:39,274
Stole her wallet, had
no one to blame it on.

349
00:16:39,356 --> 00:16:42,433
- Where'd you end up?
- Chicken farm in Bakersfield.

350
00:16:42,458 --> 00:16:44,374
Even worse than it sounds.

351
00:16:44,454 --> 00:16:47,462
We actually had it pretty
good at that house, didn't we?

352
00:16:47,508 --> 00:16:49,674
Ugh. Yeah, they were nice people.

353
00:16:49,699 --> 00:16:52,673
And they had no idea what
marijuana smelled like.

354
00:16:53,407 --> 00:16:55,508
(laughing): I know, right?
What did you tell them?

355
00:16:55,533 --> 00:16:58,329
There was a family of skunks
living under the house?

356
00:16:58,895 --> 00:17:00,993
(laughing): Oh, yeah.

357
00:17:01,018 --> 00:17:03,063
And they followed me to school one time.

358
00:17:03,088 --> 00:17:04,805
Right. (laughs)

359
00:17:04,830 --> 00:17:07,719
- Wait. Do you still draw?
- What?

360
00:17:07,744 --> 00:17:11,048
You used to draw all those crazy
snakes everywhere, you know.

361
00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:13,541
On walls, inside cereal boxes.

362
00:17:13,623 --> 00:17:16,508
I forgot about that. Remember
I drew one on the neck

363
00:17:16,533 --> 00:17:18,450
of that crazy red-headed
guy when he was asleep?

364
00:17:18,475 --> 00:17:20,157
- What was his name?
- I don't remember, man.

365
00:17:20,197 --> 00:17:22,079
- He was psycho.
- Oh, my God.

366
00:17:22,104 --> 00:17:24,769
- No one home in those eyes.
- Mm-hmm.

367
00:17:24,794 --> 00:17:27,977
- Ooh. Good in bed, though.
- Yeah, he was.

368
00:17:30,478 --> 00:17:33,321
You call it "tequila"?
I call it "to-kill-ya."

369
00:17:33,346 --> 00:17:35,673
(laughs) You feel me, right, ma'am?

370
00:17:37,079 --> 00:17:38,768
Where are you from?

371
00:17:39,832 --> 00:17:42,727
(quietly): They're not
gonna laugh. Sit down.

372
00:17:43,891 --> 00:17:46,142
All right, you've been great.

373
00:17:47,321 --> 00:17:49,404
(weak applause)

374
00:17:49,406 --> 00:17:51,573
It's nice they let us come back.

375
00:17:52,266 --> 00:17:53,659
You ever stop to think

376
00:17:53,661 --> 00:17:56,243
that maybe we're part
of their punishment?

377
00:17:56,974 --> 00:17:59,291
Hi. I'm Bonnie, and I'm an alcoholic.

378
00:17:59,571 --> 00:18:01,037
ALL: Hi, Bonnie.

379
00:18:01,039 --> 00:18:02,372
Bonnie Plunkett?!

380
00:18:02,374 --> 00:18:04,032
Uh-oh.

381
00:18:04,067 --> 00:18:07,128
Oh! I remember this one.
It's bad. It's really bad!

382
00:18:07,293 --> 00:18:09,160
(indistinct shouting)

383
00:18:09,185 --> 00:18:13,454
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
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