1
00:00:02,391 --> 00:00:05,478
So anyway, I see him
every day in the cafeteria,
2
00:00:05,484 --> 00:00:08,131
and I thought, screw it, I'm
just gonna give him my number.
3
00:00:10,500 --> 00:00:12,591
He seemed like a sweet guy.
4
00:00:12,597 --> 00:00:16,052
I mean, he drives a Prius with
an "I'm With Her" bumper sticker.
5
00:00:17,494 --> 00:00:20,073
But it's been a week, and
I haven't heard from him,
6
00:00:20,079 --> 00:00:21,516
and I'm starting to wonder...
7
00:00:22,672 --> 00:00:24,267
Oh, for God's sake! What?!
8
00:00:24,273 --> 00:00:25,782
Nothing. It's not important.
9
00:00:25,788 --> 00:00:27,377
Then stop making that noise.
10
00:00:27,383 --> 00:00:28,667
Yeah, Christy's got another guy who's
11
00:00:28,672 --> 00:00:31,399
never gonna call and we're
trying to put a good face on it.
12
00:00:31,849 --> 00:00:33,209
He might still call.
13
00:00:33,215 --> 00:00:34,694
You bet he will.
14
00:00:38,588 --> 00:00:41,314
Bonnie, why don't you just
tell us what's buggin' you?
15
00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:43,714
- You really want to know?
- I really want you to stop going...
16
00:00:46,836 --> 00:00:51,242
We come to this restaurant a
minimum of three times a week...
17
00:00:51,244 --> 00:00:53,573
good times, bad times,
economy up, economy down,
18
00:00:53,579 --> 00:00:56,149
and we always get a booth.
And look where they put us:
19
00:00:56,155 --> 00:00:58,390
at a table downwind from the bathroom.
20
00:01:00,962 --> 00:01:02,254
Are you kidding?
21
00:01:02,260 --> 00:01:04,407
You interrupted my story
'cause we're at a table?
22
00:01:04,413 --> 00:01:05,629
What story?
23
00:01:05,635 --> 00:01:07,949
About the cafeteria guy
Christy's got no shot with.
24
00:01:13,487 --> 00:01:15,434
Oh, my God. I don't believe it.
25
00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:17,267
Hostess movin' us to a booth?
26
00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:24,481
Adam misses me and
wants to get together.
27
00:01:24,487 --> 00:01:25,687
Oh, that's great.
28
00:01:25,693 --> 00:01:27,358
- Oh, I'm so happy for you.
- Congratulations.
29
00:01:27,363 --> 00:01:30,059
You know, I could
call the cafeteria guy.
30
00:01:30,962 --> 00:01:34,583
I'm proud of you, Bonnie. You set
boundaries with this young man,
31
00:01:34,589 --> 00:01:37,378
you were patient, and look
at that, he's come around.
32
00:01:37,868 --> 00:01:41,034
Now you can slowly rebuild
a healthy relationship
33
00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:43,331
based on trust and communication,
34
00:01:43,337 --> 00:01:46,276
- work together towards a lov...
- She's gone, Marjorie.
35
00:01:47,084 --> 00:01:48,284
What?
36
00:01:48,506 --> 00:01:50,445
But that was some good stuff.
37
00:01:58,255 --> 00:02:03,943
Sync & Corrections by PetaG
www.addic7ed.com
38
00:02:14,940 --> 00:02:18,284
I guess they're doing okay. I
haven't seen them since last night.
39
00:02:19,120 --> 00:02:21,832
What do you think? They've
been banging each other silly.
40
00:02:22,245 --> 00:02:25,573
They've only come out for food,
Gatorade and nail clippers.
41
00:02:27,479 --> 00:02:30,132
Think about it, Marjorie. I had to.
42
00:02:31,346 --> 00:02:35,596
Are you kidding me?! We finally
get back together and you do this?!
43
00:02:35,602 --> 00:02:39,027
- Uh-oh. Trouble in paradise.
- It's no big deal!
44
00:02:39,033 --> 00:02:41,215
She said, "We finally get
back together and you do this?"
45
00:02:41,220 --> 00:02:42,720
Then he said, "It's no big deal."
46
00:02:42,722 --> 00:02:44,626
Lying next to me in bed
47
00:02:44,632 --> 00:02:47,878
and texting with your
ex-wife is a very big deal!
48
00:02:47,884 --> 00:02:49,909
She said, "Lying next to me in bed
49
00:02:49,915 --> 00:02:52,224
and texting with your
ex-wife is a very big deal."
50
00:02:52,230 --> 00:02:54,262
- Now what are you doing?!
- What do you think I'm doin'?!
51
00:02:54,267 --> 00:02:56,940
- I'm getting out of here!
- That's right, run! That's
52
00:02:56,946 --> 00:02:59,902
- your answer for everything! Run!
- Do you have any idea
53
00:02:59,908 --> 00:03:01,645
how offensive that is to me?
54
00:03:02,486 --> 00:03:05,296
Too many words to repeat.
I'll fill you in tomorrow.
55
00:03:05,302 --> 00:03:07,246
...not in the last twenty minutes.
56
00:03:07,505 --> 00:03:09,665
What is wrong with your mother?!
57
00:03:09,671 --> 00:03:11,189
Don't get me started.
58
00:03:11,864 --> 00:03:15,557
I live right above you. I can hear
everything... the sex, the fighting.
59
00:03:15,563 --> 00:03:18,353
It's like living above
a New Orleans cathouse!
60
00:03:18,998 --> 00:03:22,229
I'm sorry. I'll get 'em to quiet down.
61
00:03:22,235 --> 00:03:24,595
And I'm sure the other
neighbors can hear, too.
62
00:03:24,597 --> 00:03:25,898
We can!
63
00:03:27,804 --> 00:03:30,116
Don't worry. I'll take care of it.
64
00:03:30,186 --> 00:03:32,789
If you were younger,
I'd call Child Services.
65
00:03:33,671 --> 00:03:35,787
No, please don't go! I love you.
66
00:03:35,793 --> 00:03:37,921
I love you, too, but you make me crazy.
67
00:03:37,927 --> 00:03:40,147
You want crazy? How's this for crazy?
68
00:03:40,153 --> 00:03:41,401
Whoa!
69
00:03:43,427 --> 00:03:45,942
At least she can't yell
with her mouth full.
70
00:03:48,645 --> 00:03:51,613
Here, have a strawberry.
They're a natural aphrodisiac.
71
00:03:52,403 --> 00:03:53,660
- Really?
- Nah,
72
00:03:53,666 --> 00:03:55,896
I'm just trying to put a good spin
on it. They're about to go bad.
73
00:03:59,762 --> 00:04:02,457
- Morning.
- Morning, honey. How'd you sleep?
74
00:04:02,637 --> 00:04:05,466
In a fetal position with
five pillows over my head.
75
00:04:05,941 --> 00:04:07,857
Were we making too much noise?
76
00:04:07,863 --> 00:04:09,177
Seriously?
77
00:04:09,183 --> 00:04:11,557
Three neighbors came by to complain.
78
00:04:11,563 --> 00:04:13,555
Two of 'em thought we
were shooting a porno.
79
00:04:13,561 --> 00:04:15,709
One of 'em thought we
were slaughtering a goat.
80
00:04:16,516 --> 00:04:18,821
Ooh, I know what that noise was.
81
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:22,103
Hey, now we got a name for
it: "slaughtering the goat."
82
00:04:24,023 --> 00:04:25,606
Sorry. Private joke.
83
00:04:25,608 --> 00:04:28,104
No, it wasn't remotely private.
84
00:04:28,573 --> 00:04:30,229
Probably wasn't even legal.
85
00:04:30,878 --> 00:04:32,496
Sorry again.
86
00:04:32,498 --> 00:04:35,824
For what it's worth, I'm glad
you guys are back together.
87
00:04:35,830 --> 00:04:39,505
Hey, we're fine as long as numbnuts
here doesn't text his ex-wife again.
88
00:04:39,511 --> 00:04:41,222
Oh, come on, let's not start this.
89
00:04:41,228 --> 00:04:42,840
I told you, she texted me.
90
00:04:42,842 --> 00:04:45,531
She needed help with the pilot
light on the water heater.
91
00:04:45,537 --> 00:04:47,673
Fine, but you still
haven't said you're sorry.
92
00:04:47,679 --> 00:04:49,095
Because I'm not!
93
00:04:49,101 --> 00:04:50,465
Oh, numbnuts.
94
00:04:51,289 --> 00:04:53,561
Okay, so just to be clear, I text a guy
95
00:04:53,567 --> 00:04:55,961
who I was just friends with and
that's an unforgivable offense,
96
00:04:55,966 --> 00:04:58,093
but it's okay for you
to text your ex-wife
97
00:04:58,099 --> 00:05:00,391
right after you slaughtered my goat.
98
00:05:01,327 --> 00:05:04,808
I'm running away and joining
the circus! Good-bye forever!
99
00:05:05,901 --> 00:05:09,629
Bonnie, if you must know,
I texted "I'm busy..."
100
00:05:09,870 --> 00:05:11,202
What are you doing here?
101
00:05:11,204 --> 00:05:13,933
I'm having my breakfast
and enjoying the show.
102
00:05:15,518 --> 00:05:17,541
But last night, you were all...
103
00:05:22,665 --> 00:05:24,161
That's a lot of fiber.
104
00:05:24,217 --> 00:05:26,527
You know, we hear things down here, too.
105
00:05:30,612 --> 00:05:32,317
Hi, I'm Jill. I'm an alcoholic.
106
00:05:32,323 --> 00:05:33,842
Hi, Jill.
107
00:05:34,049 --> 00:05:37,940
Okay, well, I got to be honest,
108
00:05:38,253 --> 00:05:40,830
I made a commitment
to be a foster parent,
109
00:05:40,836 --> 00:05:44,639
and now that it's getting
closer, I'm kind of scared.
110
00:05:45,070 --> 00:05:48,849
I'm just not sure I got what
it takes to be a good mom.
111
00:05:49,663 --> 00:05:52,687
I mean, I know how to take
a little girl shopping or...
112
00:05:52,693 --> 00:05:54,453
how to take a little boy...
113
00:05:54,835 --> 00:05:56,140
shopping.
114
00:05:57,054 --> 00:06:00,418
But what if I get a child that
doesn't listen or misbehaves?
115
00:06:00,420 --> 00:06:04,608
You know, a lot of these foster
kids have some serious issues.
116
00:06:05,021 --> 00:06:06,897
What if I can't discipline them?
117
00:06:07,224 --> 00:06:08,676
It's not like with my housekeeper,
118
00:06:08,678 --> 00:06:11,439
where I can just threaten
her with deportation, right?
119
00:06:13,220 --> 00:06:14,957
Unbelievable.
120
00:06:15,564 --> 00:06:17,979
You know, you really shouldn't
text during the meeting.
121
00:06:17,985 --> 00:06:20,983
Yeah, you really shouldn't have Ben
Franklin's haircut, but here we are.
122
00:06:22,475 --> 00:06:24,191
That's who it is.
123
00:06:26,572 --> 00:06:28,777
He's not officially divorced.
124
00:06:28,783 --> 00:06:31,532
Can you believe that?
He never said a word.
125
00:06:31,534 --> 00:06:33,582
Since when do you care
if a guy's divorced?
126
00:06:33,588 --> 00:06:36,737
Since I fell in love with
this paraplegic dickweed.
127
00:06:36,739 --> 00:06:38,906
- Okay, you're done.
- What are you doing?
128
00:06:38,908 --> 00:06:40,611
- You'll get it back after the meeting.
- Give it to me.
129
00:06:40,616 --> 00:06:42,469
- Wendy, catch.
- Give it.
130
00:06:42,475 --> 00:06:44,203
- Marjorie, here.
- Hey!
131
00:06:45,194 --> 00:06:47,559
You girls sit still and be quiet!
132
00:06:49,373 --> 00:06:51,574
Huh, look at that.
133
00:06:51,804 --> 00:06:53,337
I can be a mom.
134
00:06:57,540 --> 00:06:58,740
Psst.
135
00:06:59,205 --> 00:07:00,405
Psst.
136
00:07:14,622 --> 00:07:17,350
You are the least subtle person alive.
137
00:07:17,499 --> 00:07:19,510
Oh, I'm sorry, did I wake you?
138
00:07:20,412 --> 00:07:21,967
Just spill it.
139
00:07:21,973 --> 00:07:23,585
I was downstairs with Adam and...
140
00:07:23,591 --> 00:07:26,310
You're going to the bathroom while
I'm pouring my heart out to you?
141
00:07:26,316 --> 00:07:28,168
I don't pee through my ears.
142
00:07:32,124 --> 00:07:36,402
Well, I don't think I
can trust him anymore.
143
00:07:36,408 --> 00:07:38,037
- Why?
- I just found out he's
144
00:07:38,043 --> 00:07:39,843
seeing his ex-wife tomorrow.
145
00:07:39,849 --> 00:07:41,635
Well, at least he told you.
146
00:07:41,641 --> 00:07:44,316
Oh, grow up. He didn't tell
me. I broke into his phone.
147
00:07:45,042 --> 00:07:47,909
How'd you do that?
The FBI can't do that.
148
00:07:47,915 --> 00:07:51,177
It's easy. You just have sex
with him till he falls asleep.
149
00:07:51,183 --> 00:07:53,532
Then you press his thumb onto
the home button of his phone.
150
00:07:54,421 --> 00:07:55,906
What if he wakes up?
151
00:07:55,912 --> 00:07:58,002
You stick his thumb in
your mouth and start over.
152
00:08:02,499 --> 00:08:04,061
You don't wash your hands?
153
00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:06,056
I didn't touch anything.
154
00:08:08,332 --> 00:08:11,332
Anyway, he's seeing her tomorrow.
155
00:08:11,917 --> 00:08:13,347
Why don't you ask him about it?
156
00:08:13,353 --> 00:08:16,201
'Cause then he'll know I broke into
his phone and won't trust me anymore.
157
00:08:16,206 --> 00:08:18,646
- He shouldn't.
- Yeah, but he doesn't know that.
158
00:08:20,011 --> 00:08:22,732
Maybe this relationship
with Adam isn't good for you.
159
00:08:22,738 --> 00:08:26,564
You guys only do two things together,
and both of them disturb the neighbors.
160
00:08:26,566 --> 00:08:30,568
Well, Solitary Sue, some people
call that being in a relationship.
161
00:08:30,570 --> 00:08:33,144
Okay, Bipolar Betty.
162
00:08:33,356 --> 00:08:35,189
But you're not "some people."
163
00:08:35,191 --> 00:08:37,310
You can't keep swinging from high to low
164
00:08:37,316 --> 00:08:39,109
without something bad happening.
165
00:08:39,525 --> 00:08:41,388
I'm worried you're gonna drink.
166
00:08:43,035 --> 00:08:45,242
I want you to know I hear ya.
167
00:08:46,162 --> 00:08:47,467
Good.
168
00:08:48,162 --> 00:08:49,637
So what are you gonna do?
169
00:08:49,748 --> 00:08:52,633
Well, I guess if I'm really
committed to this relationship,
170
00:08:52,639 --> 00:08:54,537
I'm gonna have to hack into his e-mail.
171
00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:58,262
Yeah. Sounds like you got this.
172
00:08:58,264 --> 00:09:01,009
Thanks, baby. You always
bring me back down to Earth.
173
00:09:01,713 --> 00:09:03,927
- Good night.
- Good night.
174
00:09:08,330 --> 00:09:11,792
Oh, God, that's why I woke
up with my thumb in her mouth.
175
00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:24,898
Here you go. Over easy,
just the way you like 'em.
176
00:09:24,904 --> 00:09:28,274
Thanks. You were really
something last night.
177
00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:31,705
Aw, I just do those things
to show how much I love you.
178
00:09:31,711 --> 00:09:34,525
Really? Feels like you do
them just to put me to sleep.
179
00:09:35,510 --> 00:09:36,965
I could have two reasons.
180
00:09:38,986 --> 00:09:40,186
So...
181
00:09:41,478 --> 00:09:42,784
What you got going today?
182
00:09:42,790 --> 00:09:44,503
Actually, I'm gonna see my ex-wife
183
00:09:44,509 --> 00:09:45,856
- for lunch.
- Liar!
184
00:09:48,564 --> 00:09:49,968
Wait. What?
185
00:09:50,853 --> 00:09:53,423
Uh, um, she's coming over with my dog,
186
00:09:53,429 --> 00:09:55,463
and we got some stuff to talk about.
187
00:09:55,469 --> 00:09:57,791
Well, why didn't you tell me last night?
188
00:09:57,797 --> 00:10:00,565
'Cause you were doing those
things, and I'm not stupid.
189
00:10:01,890 --> 00:10:04,939
Okay, just so we're clear.
190
00:10:04,945 --> 00:10:07,902
Your ex-wife, who you're
not really divorced from,
191
00:10:07,908 --> 00:10:10,152
is coming over to
chat, and there's a dog.
192
00:10:10,158 --> 00:10:11,980
Okay, first of all, we're not divorced
193
00:10:11,986 --> 00:10:14,464
because she hasn't gotten
around to signing the papers,
194
00:10:14,470 --> 00:10:16,035
and I told you about my dog.
195
00:10:16,041 --> 00:10:18,188
- Yeah, yeah, Son of Sam.
- Samson.
196
00:10:18,946 --> 00:10:21,198
Close enough. And that's another thing.
197
00:10:21,204 --> 00:10:23,690
If it's your dog, how
come he lives with her?
198
00:10:23,696 --> 00:10:25,625
Uh, because he's really
old, and it's hard for me
199
00:10:25,631 --> 00:10:27,306
to take care of him in this thing.
200
00:10:30,313 --> 00:10:31,801
That checks out.
201
00:10:33,971 --> 00:10:35,860
But why the chitchat?
202
00:10:35,932 --> 00:10:40,020
We have some investment property
that we co-own. Might be time to sell.
203
00:10:40,026 --> 00:10:42,393
Wow, you just have
answers for everything.
204
00:10:42,395 --> 00:10:46,498
Oh, just relax, Bonnie. After
last night, I couldn't cheat on you
205
00:10:46,504 --> 00:10:49,855
if Angelina Jolie was buck naked
and lowered onto me by ropes.
206
00:10:50,590 --> 00:10:53,174
Uh-huh. So with a little
rest and a pulley system,
207
00:10:53,180 --> 00:10:55,314
you'd take a whack at Angelina Jolie?
208
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:57,364
Yes! And so would you!
209
00:10:58,596 --> 00:11:02,011
Once again, you have
answers for everything!
210
00:11:03,777 --> 00:11:06,699
Oh, my God, why do I love her?!
211
00:11:07,605 --> 00:11:09,792
We don't know!
212
00:11:13,511 --> 00:11:16,764
So, as we speak, my
boyfriend and his semi ex-wife
213
00:11:16,770 --> 00:11:19,030
are having a romantic
lunch in his apartment.
214
00:11:19,036 --> 00:11:20,702
With his very old dog.
215
00:11:20,708 --> 00:11:23,344
Aw, Adam has a dog? What kind?
216
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:25,618
I think it's a "Shut the
hell up, Wendy" doodle.
217
00:11:29,934 --> 00:11:33,333
The point is, this broad's
plotting to get him back.
218
00:11:33,339 --> 00:11:34,859
Ex-wives'll do that.
219
00:11:34,933 --> 00:11:38,154
They'll get their boobs redone,
cook up a couple of steaks,
220
00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:40,668
invite the guy over for
a little night swimmin'.
221
00:11:43,511 --> 00:11:46,085
Or stuff of that nature.
222
00:11:49,199 --> 00:11:51,677
Bonnie, if there's any
hope for you and Adam,
223
00:11:51,683 --> 00:11:53,005
you got to learn to trust him.
224
00:11:53,011 --> 00:11:55,115
Oh, I trust him. It's
her I'm worried about.
225
00:11:55,121 --> 00:11:57,154
See right there, that's your problem.
226
00:11:57,156 --> 00:12:01,448
Tryin' to control people, places and
things you can't do anything about.
227
00:12:01,827 --> 00:12:04,304
What you need to do is write down a list
228
00:12:04,310 --> 00:12:06,319
of all your fears, and
then just turn them over
229
00:12:06,325 --> 00:12:08,976
- to your higher power, who's...
- Marjorie, she's gone again.
230
00:12:10,586 --> 00:12:13,751
But again, dynamite stuff.
231
00:12:18,691 --> 00:12:20,310
Can I help you?
232
00:12:21,675 --> 00:12:24,231
Oh. Hi.
233
00:12:25,269 --> 00:12:28,093
Are you Danielle Janikowski?
234
00:12:28,099 --> 00:12:30,104
I am. And you are?
235
00:12:31,489 --> 00:12:32,740
Bonnie Plunkett.
236
00:12:32,742 --> 00:12:35,025
Oh, great.
237
00:12:37,479 --> 00:12:39,921
Well, it appears he has a type.
238
00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:42,176
Oh. Or you and I do.
239
00:12:44,097 --> 00:12:45,325
Okay.
240
00:12:45,331 --> 00:12:47,209
So, what brings you by?
241
00:12:47,215 --> 00:12:51,213
An-and just so you know, I've
already pressed nine-one on my phone.
242
00:12:51,549 --> 00:12:55,316
Relax. If I wanted to rough you
up, I would have waited inside.
243
00:12:55,322 --> 00:12:57,453
You've got great taste
in furniture, by the way.
244
00:12:58,605 --> 00:12:59,850
You broke in?
245
00:12:59,852 --> 00:13:01,131
I had to tinkle.
246
00:13:01,559 --> 00:13:03,160
And we need to talk.
247
00:13:03,166 --> 00:13:05,542
- I have nothing to say to you.
- I just want to know if
248
00:13:05,548 --> 00:13:08,985
- you're trying to get back with Adam.
- That is really none of your business.
249
00:13:08,991 --> 00:13:10,595
So, yes.
250
00:13:10,899 --> 00:13:14,831
- Okay, are we done?
- Oh, we're just getting started.
251
00:13:15,451 --> 00:13:18,082
Actually, I only have one more question,
252
00:13:18,088 --> 00:13:19,703
so, yeah, we're almost done.
253
00:13:21,120 --> 00:13:24,051
- Why'd you two break up?
- Well, why don't you ask him?
254
00:13:24,057 --> 00:13:26,836
Because I respect the boundaries
of people I care about.
255
00:13:27,479 --> 00:13:30,431
- You just broke into my house.
- Yeah, I don't care about you.
256
00:13:32,213 --> 00:13:33,729
Wow.
257
00:13:34,104 --> 00:13:36,809
- You really love him, don't you?
- Of course I do.
258
00:13:36,815 --> 00:13:40,203
Why else would I risk squeezing through
your doggy door with a full bladder?
259
00:13:42,068 --> 00:13:44,445
It is possible that you're just insane.
260
00:13:44,451 --> 00:13:46,691
It is. Keep that in mind.
261
00:13:48,184 --> 00:13:50,562
So, what happened? He cheat on you?
262
00:13:50,568 --> 00:13:52,592
- No.
- You cheat on him?
263
00:13:53,554 --> 00:13:56,551
- What did he tell you?
- Not as much as you just did.
264
00:13:58,652 --> 00:14:01,207
- Okay, now are we done?
- Almost.
265
00:14:01,213 --> 00:14:03,019
Just to keep things on the up and up...
266
00:14:03,198 --> 00:14:06,876
here's a dollar. While I was waiting,
I made myself an English muffin.
267
00:14:11,808 --> 00:14:13,949
Oh, God help me, I like her.
268
00:14:20,105 --> 00:14:23,557
- Hey, where you been?
- I went to see Adam's ex-wife.
269
00:14:23,563 --> 00:14:24,846
I'm out.
270
00:14:24,852 --> 00:14:26,954
Calm down. Nobody got hurt.
271
00:14:27,266 --> 00:14:28,549
What happened?
272
00:14:28,555 --> 00:14:30,869
She cheated on him.
That's why they broke up.
273
00:14:30,875 --> 00:14:32,643
- Oh, God.
- Mm-hmm.
274
00:14:32,645 --> 00:14:36,146
And I'm thinking that's why he
flipped out when that guy kissed me.
275
00:14:37,069 --> 00:14:38,483
Makes sense.
276
00:14:38,489 --> 00:14:40,250
She trying to get
back together with him?
277
00:14:40,256 --> 00:14:43,807
Oh, yeah. Explains why she
hasn't signed the divorce papers.
278
00:14:44,264 --> 00:14:45,739
But she'll watch her step.
279
00:14:46,232 --> 00:14:49,111
She knows that I know where
she keeps her English muffins.
280
00:14:50,819 --> 00:14:52,432
I'm sorry. What?
281
00:14:54,530 --> 00:14:55,757
Hang on.
282
00:14:56,792 --> 00:14:57,997
It's Adam.
283
00:14:58,003 --> 00:15:00,087
"Come outside. Bring a bowl of water."
284
00:15:00,581 --> 00:15:01,862
What does that mean?
285
00:15:01,868 --> 00:15:04,095
What does "English muffins" mean?
286
00:15:05,931 --> 00:15:08,381
And why did you have
my thumb in your mouth?
287
00:15:14,642 --> 00:15:16,035
Oh.
288
00:15:16,041 --> 00:15:18,626
I thought it was about time you two met.
289
00:15:18,632 --> 00:15:22,076
Samson, this is the crazy
woman I was telling you about.
290
00:15:23,079 --> 00:15:25,051
Hello, Samson.
291
00:15:25,057 --> 00:15:26,640
Here you go.
292
00:15:27,116 --> 00:15:28,330
Oh.
293
00:15:28,336 --> 00:15:31,026
- He's so sweet.
- Yeah, he sure is.
294
00:15:31,032 --> 00:15:33,262
We've been buddies for about 14 years.
295
00:15:33,268 --> 00:15:36,145
Wow. So he's, like, 800 in dog years?
296
00:15:37,316 --> 00:15:39,082
Something like that.
297
00:15:39,088 --> 00:15:40,472
When I ended up in this chair,
298
00:15:40,478 --> 00:15:43,090
he was the only one that
didn't look at me differently.
299
00:15:44,891 --> 00:15:47,187
Breaks my heart that I
can't take care of him now.
300
00:15:47,863 --> 00:15:49,287
I get it.
301
00:15:50,386 --> 00:15:54,503
We were about to go on a very slow walk.
302
00:15:54,944 --> 00:15:56,490
Maybe you'd like to come?
303
00:15:57,003 --> 00:15:58,593
I'd be honored.
304
00:16:00,895 --> 00:16:03,005
Ah, hang on, let him finish.
305
00:16:05,145 --> 00:16:07,894
You know, I used to
drink vodka like that.
306
00:16:08,874 --> 00:16:12,327
- That fast?
- No, lying on the floor out of a bowl.
307
00:16:13,870 --> 00:16:16,236
- Hmm.
- All right, I'm cutting you off.
308
00:16:16,242 --> 00:16:17,915
Yeah, come on, boy.
309
00:16:17,917 --> 00:16:20,497
Come on. Come on.
310
00:16:20,503 --> 00:16:22,122
Oh, by the way, next time you think
311
00:16:22,128 --> 00:16:23,942
of surprising my ex-wife, keep in mind
312
00:16:23,948 --> 00:16:26,321
that she was a small-arms
instructor in the Army.
313
00:16:26,327 --> 00:16:28,350
- Ha-ha, very funny.
- Not a joke.
314
00:16:28,356 --> 00:16:29,986
She can shoot a cigarette
out of your mouth
315
00:16:29,991 --> 00:16:31,918
- at 50 feet.
- Really?
316
00:16:31,924 --> 00:16:33,636
That's how she got me to quit smokin'.
317
00:16:48,237 --> 00:16:50,689
When you said slow walk,
you weren't kiddin'.
318
00:16:52,124 --> 00:16:55,374
Yeah, the leash is really
a formality at this point.
319
00:16:56,606 --> 00:16:58,803
So, how'd you guys meet?
320
00:16:58,809 --> 00:17:02,045
Actually, I found him in a
box on the side of the road.
321
00:17:02,051 --> 00:17:03,295
He was just a puppy.
322
00:17:03,301 --> 00:17:05,827
Aw, so you rescued him?
323
00:17:05,833 --> 00:17:08,665
Mm, he kind of rescued me.
324
00:17:12,728 --> 00:17:15,013
Okay, I think we're done walkin'.
325
00:17:15,867 --> 00:17:17,330
So, what do we do?
326
00:17:17,336 --> 00:17:19,164
We hang out till he gets up.
327
00:17:19,902 --> 00:17:21,747
Sounds good.
328
00:17:22,262 --> 00:17:23,557
Ooh.
329
00:17:24,858 --> 00:17:26,391
I think he likes me.
330
00:17:26,397 --> 00:17:28,364
I think he likes you, too.
331
00:17:30,971 --> 00:17:35,183
You know, if you wanted to spend
a little more time with him,
332
00:17:35,189 --> 00:17:37,386
he could stay with
me every now and then.
333
00:17:37,392 --> 00:17:39,567
You sure about that? He's a lot of work.
334
00:17:39,573 --> 00:17:42,626
He's got arthritis, he's
incontinent, he's half-deaf.
335
00:17:42,632 --> 00:17:45,657
That's okay. I promised Christy
a dog about 30 years ago.
336
00:17:45,663 --> 00:17:47,080
I hate to disappoint her.
337
00:17:48,296 --> 00:17:51,225
So this has nothing to do with
keeping me away from Danielle?
338
00:17:51,231 --> 00:17:52,563
Oh, please.
339
00:17:53,059 --> 00:17:54,748
Who's your new mommy?
340
00:17:54,950 --> 00:17:56,752
I'm your new mommy.
341
00:17:58,043 --> 00:17:59,476
Can you hear me?
342
00:18:03,625 --> 00:18:08,625
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