1
00:00:01,823 --> 00:00:04,208
Is it just me, or is Dolores

2
00:00:04,210 --> 00:00:06,009
a little too old to be wearing a skirt

3
00:00:06,011 --> 00:00:07,678
that short to a meeting?

4
00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:08,995
Yeah.

5
00:00:08,997 --> 00:00:10,097
When you're 70,

6
00:00:10,099 --> 00:00:12,933
you should not shop at Forever 21.

7
00:00:12,935 --> 00:00:14,668
And I don't think she
was wearing underwear.

8
00:00:14,670 --> 00:00:16,169
Oh, I was sitting across from her.

9
00:00:16,171 --> 00:00:17,221
She wasn't.

10
00:00:17,223 --> 00:00:19,673
It looked like cotton candy down there.

11
00:00:21,559 --> 00:00:23,510
Oh, God, somebody should tell her.

12
00:00:23,512 --> 00:00:25,178
Yeah? How'd that go? "Dolores, honey,

13
00:00:25,180 --> 00:00:27,114
lower the skirt or trim the witch broom."

14
00:00:29,117 --> 00:00:30,617
That's good.

15
00:00:30,619 --> 00:00:32,369
Or, you know, just go right at it.

16
00:00:32,371 --> 00:00:34,187
"Cross your legs, granny,

17
00:00:34,189 --> 00:00:35,989
I can see your yammy."

18
00:00:37,326 --> 00:00:39,409
Granny? Yammy?

19
00:00:39,411 --> 00:00:40,377
Nothing?

20
00:00:40,379 --> 00:00:42,362
Sorry.

21
00:00:42,364 --> 00:00:43,864
I'm a little preoccupied.

22
00:00:43,866 --> 00:00:45,365
Is everything okay?

23
00:00:45,367 --> 00:00:47,167
Oh, sure.

24
00:00:47,169 --> 00:00:49,202
Other than, you know,

25
00:00:49,204 --> 00:00:50,704
having cancer.

26
00:00:52,842 --> 00:00:55,008
Oh, you're not laughing.

27
00:00:57,712 --> 00:00:59,029
What kind?

28
00:00:59,031 --> 00:00:59,963
Breast.

29
00:00:59,965 --> 00:01:01,315
But we caught it early,

30
00:01:01,317 --> 00:01:04,318
so there's a good chance I'll be okay.

31
00:01:04,320 --> 00:01:05,402
Well, that's great news.

32
00:01:05,404 --> 00:01:06,553
Yeah, that's great.

33
00:01:06,555 --> 00:01:08,989
Wow.

34
00:01:08,991 --> 00:01:11,191
Cancer.

35
00:01:12,026 --> 00:01:13,243
Sorry.

36
00:01:13,245 --> 00:01:14,995
- Don't you dare treat me differently.
- No.

37
00:01:14,997 --> 00:01:17,030
- Of course not. No.
- No.

38
00:01:23,872 --> 00:01:25,172
Remind me on the way home

39
00:01:25,174 --> 00:01:26,740
I gotta pick up some brownie makings

40
00:01:26,742 --> 00:01:28,074
for Roscoe's bake sale tomorrow.

41
00:01:28,076 --> 00:01:30,544
You're actually gonna start
baking at 11:00 at night?

42
00:01:30,546 --> 00:01:32,245
I know, it's a nightmare.

43
00:01:32,247 --> 00:01:34,414
Not like what you're going through.

44
00:01:35,633 --> 00:01:37,250
Oh. Here you go.

45
00:01:37,252 --> 00:01:38,268
What are you doing?

46
00:01:38,270 --> 00:01:40,587
What? She told us not to
treat her any differently.

47
00:01:55,562 --> 00:02:00,562
- Synced By YesCool ~ corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -

48
00:02:04,350 --> 00:02:07,269
Oh, it's awful about Marjorie, huh?

49
00:02:07,271 --> 00:02:08,687
Yeah.

50
00:02:08,689 --> 00:02:10,055
I mean, she doesn't look sick.

51
00:02:11,075 --> 00:02:12,641
She did order soup.

52
00:02:12,643 --> 00:02:15,227
That is the official food of sick people.

53
00:02:16,930 --> 00:02:18,530
Or maybe she's making it up.

54
00:02:18,532 --> 00:02:20,599
Who makes up cancer?

55
00:02:20,601 --> 00:02:22,000
I did once.

56
00:02:23,836 --> 00:02:25,204
You know, I... I didn't want
to hurt a guy's feelings.

57
00:02:25,206 --> 00:02:27,673
Then I ran into him five
years later at a Costco.

58
00:02:27,675 --> 00:02:30,292
Tried to tell him it was a miracle.

59
00:02:30,294 --> 00:02:32,427
Who'd have thought that would backfire?

60
00:02:32,429 --> 00:02:35,881
I know, I never go to Costco.

61
00:02:35,883 --> 00:02:40,636
I just never know what
to do in these situations.

62
00:02:40,638 --> 00:02:42,721
Do you think she noticed
I didn't give her a hug?

63
00:02:42,723 --> 00:02:44,422
Yeah, what was that all about?

64
00:02:44,424 --> 00:02:46,424
I panicked halfway in.

65
00:02:46,426 --> 00:02:49,761
I didn't want to... smoosh the cancer.

66
00:02:51,781 --> 00:02:54,599
Well, the fist bump was an odd choice.

67
00:02:56,770 --> 00:02:58,270
God.

68
00:02:58,272 --> 00:03:00,539
It really puts our problems in perspective.

69
00:03:00,541 --> 00:03:01,757
Yeah.

70
00:03:01,759 --> 00:03:03,542
Everything seems small by comparison.

71
00:03:03,544 --> 00:03:04,609
Right?

72
00:03:04,611 --> 00:03:06,044
We need to be more grateful.

73
00:03:06,046 --> 00:03:07,112
Amen.

74
00:03:08,749 --> 00:03:11,049
Green means go, stupid!

75
00:03:11,051 --> 00:03:12,467
Starting now.

76
00:03:22,312 --> 00:03:23,795
Hey.

77
00:03:23,797 --> 00:03:25,597
Oh. Hi.

78
00:03:26,933 --> 00:03:30,018
I was just checking myself in the bathroom.

79
00:03:30,020 --> 00:03:31,053
How'd you do?

80
00:03:31,055 --> 00:03:32,104
I think I'm okay.

81
00:03:32,106 --> 00:03:34,189
I, uh... I got a couple of freckles

82
00:03:34,191 --> 00:03:35,490
I'm gonna keep an eye on.

83
00:03:35,492 --> 00:03:36,525
You?

84
00:03:36,527 --> 00:03:37,492
I'm good.

85
00:03:37,494 --> 00:03:39,611
Just made myself a little horny.

86
00:03:39,613 --> 00:03:42,447
Damn it, damn it, damn it!

87
00:03:42,449 --> 00:03:43,732
What's that about?

88
00:03:43,734 --> 00:03:45,167
She's 17 and pregnant.

89
00:03:45,169 --> 00:03:47,152
I'm surprised she doesn't do that all day.

90
00:03:51,375 --> 00:03:52,624
Hello?

91
00:03:52,561 --> 00:03:54,278
Oh, come on! Lock the door!

92
00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:56,063
Oh, no, no. No.

93
00:03:56,065 --> 00:03:57,864
I'm trying to put 'em on, not take 'em off.

94
00:03:57,866 --> 00:03:58,782
What?

95
00:03:58,784 --> 00:04:00,434
None of my stupid pants fit.

96
00:04:00,436 --> 00:04:02,619
Come on, put some muscle into it!

97
00:04:02,621 --> 00:04:04,404
Aren't we squishing the baby?

98
00:04:04,406 --> 00:04:05,289
The baby's fine.

99
00:04:05,291 --> 00:04:07,457
Button my damn pants!

100
00:04:07,459 --> 00:04:09,243
Help.

101
00:04:11,462 --> 00:04:13,130
Violet, you're pregnant.

102
00:04:13,132 --> 00:04:14,665
You had to know this was coming.

103
00:04:14,667 --> 00:04:16,883
I did, but I still want to look hot.

104
00:04:16,885 --> 00:04:19,670
You were hot, that's why you're pregnant.

105
00:04:19,672 --> 00:04:21,421
It's true.

106
00:04:23,125 --> 00:04:24,725
Well, it's not fair.

107
00:04:24,727 --> 00:04:26,510
Not fair?

108
00:04:26,512 --> 00:04:28,061
Oh, I've got news for you,

109
00:04:28,063 --> 00:04:29,629
this is just the beginning.

110
00:04:29,631 --> 00:04:31,315
A couple of months from now,
you're gonna be packin' on

111
00:04:31,317 --> 00:04:33,066
another 30 pounds,
you'll have stretch marks,

112
00:04:33,068 --> 00:04:34,568
your boobs'll be enormous,

113
00:04:34,570 --> 00:04:36,486
- and there's hemorrhoids...
- What's that about the boobs?

114
00:04:36,488 --> 00:04:37,470
Shut up.

115
00:04:38,289 --> 00:04:39,439
And you know what?

116
00:04:39,441 --> 00:04:40,824
None of that stuff matters,

117
00:04:40,826 --> 00:04:42,693
because you're healthy.

118
00:04:42,695 --> 00:04:44,528
And healthy is everything.

119
00:04:44,530 --> 00:04:46,446
It's the most important thing in the world.

120
00:04:46,448 --> 00:04:47,447
Yeah, I get it, but...

121
00:04:47,449 --> 00:04:48,882
But nothing!

122
00:04:48,884 --> 00:04:50,367
Now take those stupid jeans off,

123
00:04:50,369 --> 00:04:52,986
put on some sweatpants
and pray for a C-section

124
00:04:52,988 --> 00:04:53,987
'cause that bundle of joy's

125
00:04:53,989 --> 00:04:57,507
gonna do some damage on its way out.

126
00:05:00,612 --> 00:05:02,829
Bravo.

127
00:05:18,981 --> 00:05:19,930
Ooh, God.

128
00:05:19,932 --> 00:05:21,131
Oh, my God.

129
00:05:23,569 --> 00:05:25,702
I'm sorry to come by so early,

130
00:05:25,704 --> 00:05:27,371
but I made brownies for Christy

131
00:05:27,373 --> 00:05:28,655
for her son's bake sale.

132
00:05:28,657 --> 00:05:30,690
- What?
- Yeah.

133
00:05:30,692 --> 00:05:31,658
They're labed.

134
00:05:31,660 --> 00:05:33,827
Okay, these are regular brownies,

135
00:05:33,829 --> 00:05:36,580
and these have no sugar,
no dairy and no gluten.

136
00:05:36,582 --> 00:05:38,715
I call them "frownies."

137
00:05:40,701 --> 00:05:43,387
What?

138
00:05:43,389 --> 00:05:44,921
What's going on?

139
00:05:44,923 --> 00:05:49,209
Uh, Marjorie made brownies
for Roscoe's bake sale.

140
00:05:49,211 --> 00:05:51,645
Oh, thank God, I completely forgot.

141
00:05:51,647 --> 00:05:53,146
Marjorie, you saved my life.

142
00:05:53,148 --> 00:05:54,348
I mean...

143
00:05:56,234 --> 00:05:58,568
How's it going?

144
00:05:58,570 --> 00:05:59,986
Pretty good.

145
00:05:59,988 --> 00:06:01,321
Have a nice day.

146
00:06:01,323 --> 00:06:02,272
Wait, um...

147
00:06:02,274 --> 00:06:03,824
do you want to come in for coffee?

148
00:06:03,826 --> 00:06:05,492
I can't. I got a cab waiting

149
00:06:05,494 --> 00:06:07,194
to take me across town for my chemo.

150
00:06:07,196 --> 00:06:08,728
Well, hang on, just give me a second

151
00:06:08,730 --> 00:06:10,230
and I'll get dressed and I'll take you.

152
00:06:10,232 --> 00:06:12,532
Oh, I don't want to put you out.

153
00:06:12,534 --> 00:06:13,867
No, it's not a problem.

154
00:06:13,869 --> 00:06:15,252
My daughter'll take Roscoe to school.

155
00:06:15,254 --> 00:06:16,536
Mom, you want to come with us?

156
00:06:16,538 --> 00:06:17,654
To chemo?

157
00:06:17,656 --> 00:06:19,840
You betcha.

158
00:06:23,961 --> 00:06:25,462
Okay. Thank you.

159
00:06:25,464 --> 00:06:27,664
I'll let the cab go.

160
00:06:30,335 --> 00:06:31,601
Do you believe her?

161
00:06:31,603 --> 00:06:33,303
She is in a fight for her life

162
00:06:33,305 --> 00:06:34,771
and she still finds the time

163
00:06:34,773 --> 00:06:36,473
to bake brownies for my kid's school.

164
00:06:36,475 --> 00:06:38,558
Yeah, the woman is a saint.

165
00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:39,943
Thanks for going with us.

166
00:06:39,945 --> 00:06:41,261
Well, what choice did I have?

167
00:06:41,263 --> 00:06:42,479
She survives this,

168
00:06:42,481 --> 00:06:44,698
I don't need her telling
people what a bitch I am.

169
00:06:59,714 --> 00:07:00,881
Oh, good news.

170
00:07:00,883 --> 00:07:03,950
This cancer clinic got four
and a half stars on Yelp.

171
00:07:05,887 --> 00:07:08,455
That's... great.

172
00:07:08,457 --> 00:07:09,506
Think about it.

173
00:07:09,508 --> 00:07:11,791
You gotta be alive to write the review.

174
00:07:16,848 --> 00:07:18,131
Ooh, check it out.

175
00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:19,399
Angelina Jolie's new boobs.

176
00:07:19,401 --> 00:07:20,600
Life gave her lemons,

177
00:07:20,602 --> 00:07:22,802
she turned them into grapefruits.

178
00:07:23,971 --> 00:07:25,071
Speaking of which,

179
00:07:25,073 --> 00:07:26,773
have, uh, you thought about new ones?

180
00:07:26,775 --> 00:07:28,191
What?

181
00:07:28,193 --> 00:07:29,276
No.

182
00:07:29,278 --> 00:07:30,744
I'm doing chemo and radiation

183
00:07:30,746 --> 00:07:32,279
to try and hang on to these.

184
00:07:32,281 --> 00:07:33,864
Or... you could go under the knife

185
00:07:33,866 --> 00:07:36,249
and wake up with a perky new rack.

186
00:07:36,251 --> 00:07:38,952
- My rack is fine.
- Oh, please.

187
00:07:38,954 --> 00:07:41,288
You could tuck those
puppies into your belt.

188
00:07:45,209 --> 00:07:47,627
Mom, can you please talk
about something else?

189
00:07:47,629 --> 00:07:49,179
Sure.

190
00:07:49,181 --> 00:07:52,182
What's your plan for the baldness?

191
00:07:53,267 --> 00:07:55,168
You know, they said that might not happen.

192
00:07:55,170 --> 00:07:56,303
Oh, it's happening.

193
00:07:56,305 --> 00:07:58,688
You're gonna look like
a thumb in a housecoat.

194
00:08:00,141 --> 00:08:01,525
Why is she here?

195
00:08:01,527 --> 00:08:02,675
She's trying to help.

196
00:08:02,677 --> 00:08:06,179
Did not get that.

197
00:08:06,181 --> 00:08:09,399
Look, I say we start
shopping for wigs today.

198
00:08:09,401 --> 00:08:10,484
I don't think so.

199
00:08:10,486 --> 00:08:11,485
You sure?

200
00:08:11,487 --> 00:08:12,702
Curly blonde hair

201
00:08:12,704 --> 00:08:14,287
and some gummy bear double "D"s,

202
00:08:14,289 --> 00:08:16,456
you might even get laid. By a man.

203
00:08:17,992 --> 00:08:19,993
Mom, ease up.

204
00:08:19,995 --> 00:08:21,294
I'm sorry, I'm just trying

205
00:08:21,296 --> 00:08:22,695
to lighten the mood.

206
00:08:23,832 --> 00:08:25,882
What are gummy bear breasts?

207
00:08:25,884 --> 00:08:27,501
The latest in implants.

208
00:08:27,503 --> 00:08:30,537
Like a memory foam mattress with nipples.

209
00:08:33,391 --> 00:08:34,391
Hi, Marjorie.

210
00:08:34,393 --> 00:08:35,375
Ready to start your treatment?

211
00:08:35,377 --> 00:08:37,060
- Yes, we are.
- I'm ready, too.

212
00:08:37,895 --> 00:08:39,546
Come on.

213
00:08:39,548 --> 00:08:41,097
I'm her best friend.

214
00:08:41,099 --> 00:08:43,650
So am I.

215
00:08:43,652 --> 00:08:45,151
What do I need new boobs for?

216
00:08:45,153 --> 00:08:47,320
I have you two.

217
00:08:49,857 --> 00:08:52,025
Mommy's home.

218
00:08:54,612 --> 00:08:57,063
Oh, my God.

219
00:08:57,065 --> 00:09:00,250
I thought the cancer clinic was depressing.

220
00:09:01,619 --> 00:09:04,955
Marjorie, how many cats do you own?

221
00:09:04,957 --> 00:09:06,339
Oh, you don't own cats.

222
00:09:06,341 --> 00:09:08,458
You love them.

223
00:09:08,460 --> 00:09:10,126
Okay.

224
00:09:10,128 --> 00:09:13,096
How many cats do you love?

225
00:09:13,098 --> 00:09:14,464
Well, let's see.

226
00:09:14,466 --> 00:09:15,915
That's Carlos Santana,

227
00:09:15,917 --> 00:09:17,601
and that's Grace Slick,

228
00:09:17,603 --> 00:09:19,085
and that's Boz Scaggs

229
00:09:19,087 --> 00:09:20,804
and Steve Miller, and these three are

230
00:09:20,806 --> 00:09:22,722
the Tower of Power horn section.

231
00:09:24,442 --> 00:09:26,810
This fat little troublemaker...

232
00:09:26,812 --> 00:09:28,728
is Jerry Garcia.

233
00:09:28,730 --> 00:09:31,031
So... eight.

234
00:09:33,035 --> 00:09:35,785
Oh, Marjorie, when did you lose your way?

235
00:09:36,621 --> 00:09:38,071
I need to make them lunch.

236
00:09:38,073 --> 00:09:40,290
No, no, no. You rest.

237
00:09:40,292 --> 00:09:41,875
We'll take care of it.

238
00:09:42,828 --> 00:09:45,111
Where do you keep the cat food?

239
00:09:45,113 --> 00:09:47,113
I don't feed them cat food.

240
00:09:47,115 --> 00:09:49,583
Of course not.

241
00:09:49,535 --> 00:09:51,201
- What do you feed them?
- Well,

242
00:09:51,203 --> 00:09:53,620
there's a freshwater trout in the fridge.

243
00:09:53,622 --> 00:09:55,038
You put that in the blender,

244
00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:56,006
pulse until creamy,

245
00:09:56,008 --> 00:09:57,874
and then add rice and veggies.

246
00:09:59,293 --> 00:10:00,460
Don't look at me.

247
00:10:00,462 --> 00:10:02,012
I'm not making a sushi smoothie.

248
00:10:04,048 --> 00:10:06,383
Fine, I'll do it.

249
00:10:08,270 --> 00:10:10,620
Oh, are you allergic to cats?

250
00:10:10,622 --> 00:10:12,589
- A little.
- Since when?

251
00:10:13,824 --> 00:10:16,393
Since birth, Mom.

252
00:10:17,928 --> 00:10:20,230
With all these cats,

253
00:10:20,232 --> 00:10:22,949
you're wise not to have nice furniture.

254
00:10:28,789 --> 00:10:30,540
I'm sorry.

255
00:10:42,553 --> 00:10:44,287
Hey, Christy, look.

256
00:10:44,289 --> 00:10:47,123
I'm Dolores.

257
00:11:05,747 --> 00:11:07,865
Chamomile with honey.

258
00:11:07,867 --> 00:11:09,433
Thank you.

259
00:11:10,619 --> 00:11:12,553
Did you, uh, make some tea for me?

260
00:11:12,555 --> 00:11:16,090
Did I ever get a birthday party?

261
00:11:17,342 --> 00:11:20,911
Uh!

262
00:11:20,913 --> 00:11:22,763
So, listen,

263
00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:26,583
I was thinking that we could
call a couple of the girls

264
00:11:26,585 --> 00:11:30,554
from the meeting and have them
take turns helping you out.

265
00:11:30,556 --> 00:11:35,476
You know, shopping,
driving you to treatment...

266
00:11:35,478 --> 00:11:37,361
blending fish.

267
00:11:38,363 --> 00:11:40,431
I don't want anyone else to know.

268
00:11:40,433 --> 00:11:42,984
Why not?

269
00:11:42,986 --> 00:11:44,235
Go away.

270
00:11:47,956 --> 00:11:49,273
Because I don't want

271
00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:51,292
anyone feeling sorry
for me because I'm sick.

272
00:11:51,294 --> 00:11:54,662
Oh, Marjorie, no one's
gonna feel sorry for you

273
00:11:54,664 --> 00:11:55,779
'cause you're sick.

274
00:11:55,781 --> 00:11:57,131
Yeah, they'll be sorry for you

275
00:11:57,133 --> 00:11:59,000
'cause you're a crazy ol' cat lady.

276
00:12:02,421 --> 00:12:04,388
And if you're so concerned
about your privacy,

277
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:05,789
why'd you tell us?

278
00:12:06,641 --> 00:12:08,976
Oh! Oh!

279
00:12:08,978 --> 00:12:11,095
Oh, please, scoot.

280
00:12:14,182 --> 00:12:16,567
Because you're my closest friends.

281
00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:18,802
Oh, that's even sadder.

282
00:12:19,804 --> 00:12:23,607
Well, what about your son?

283
00:12:23,609 --> 00:12:25,809
Does he know?

284
00:12:25,811 --> 00:12:28,612
I haven't talked to him in a long time.

285
00:12:29,414 --> 00:12:31,832
Maybe we could call him and...

286
00:12:31,834 --> 00:12:33,667
No, leave him alone.

287
00:12:33,669 --> 00:12:35,786
But I just think that...

288
00:12:35,788 --> 00:12:37,154
I said no!

289
00:12:37,822 --> 00:12:40,791
He has his life, I have mine.

290
00:12:42,994 --> 00:12:45,329
All right, fine.

291
00:12:47,015 --> 00:12:49,383
I gotta get to work.

292
00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:53,337
How do I look?

293
00:12:53,339 --> 00:12:55,056
Like death warmed over.

294
00:12:56,691 --> 00:12:58,476
No offense.

295
00:13:01,279 --> 00:13:05,032
Well, I will leave you in
the capable hands of my...

296
00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:07,535
I'll just leave you.

297
00:13:14,659 --> 00:13:17,695
I don't suppose you wanna
make some tea for me.

298
00:13:30,892 --> 00:13:32,927
Cocaine?

299
00:13:35,931 --> 00:13:37,398
Cat dander.

300
00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:40,734
Mm. Is that what the
kids are calling it now?

301
00:13:43,271 --> 00:13:46,157
Why is the Japanese family at table six

302
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:47,942
wearing surgical masks?

303
00:13:47,944 --> 00:13:50,528
Because they're paranoid.

304
00:13:53,248 --> 00:13:54,415
Are you sick?

305
00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:56,400
Uh! No, I've got allergies.

306
00:13:56,402 --> 00:13:58,752
Well, either way, you don't look too good.

307
00:13:58,754 --> 00:14:00,087
Maybe you should go home.

308
00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:02,873
Maybe I should, Gabriel.

309
00:14:02,875 --> 00:14:06,093
Maybe we should all go home
and be with our loved ones

310
00:14:06,095 --> 00:14:07,378
'cause death is coming!

311
00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:09,430
It's coming for you and you

312
00:14:09,432 --> 00:14:11,882
and you and you!

313
00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:20,107
She seemed a lot less crazy
when I was sleeping with her.

314
00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:21,525
They all do.

315
00:14:33,105 --> 00:14:34,788
- Hey.
- Hi.

316
00:14:34,790 --> 00:14:35,906
How was work?

317
00:14:35,908 --> 00:14:39,643
People paid me to stay away from them.

318
00:14:44,466 --> 00:14:45,499
How's Marjorie?

319
00:14:45,501 --> 00:14:46,934
She's doing okay.

320
00:14:46,936 --> 00:14:49,386
I just put her to bed.

321
00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:51,255
You stayed with her the whole day?

322
00:14:51,257 --> 00:14:54,791
Yep. I made her dinner, did the laundry,

323
00:14:54,793 --> 00:14:56,060
panned for cat nuggets

324
00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:58,629
in the kitty litter.

325
00:14:58,631 --> 00:15:00,181
Wow.

326
00:15:00,183 --> 00:15:03,267
Look at you being all
caring and compassionate

327
00:15:03,269 --> 00:15:05,469
without rolling on ecstasy.

328
00:15:07,072 --> 00:15:09,323
I know. I'm as surprised as you are.

329
00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:12,142
I just, I can't help feeling

330
00:15:12,144 --> 00:15:13,944
the woman's getting a raw deal.

331
00:15:13,946 --> 00:15:17,314
I mean, she's been sober for 32 years,

332
00:15:17,316 --> 00:15:19,600
she's always there for
anybody who needs her.

333
00:15:19,602 --> 00:15:21,619
And what's her reward?

334
00:15:21,621 --> 00:15:22,870
Cancer.

335
00:15:22,872 --> 00:15:24,038
I know.

336
00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:26,590
You start thinking, "What's the point?"

337
00:15:26,592 --> 00:15:27,675
It beats me.

338
00:15:27,677 --> 00:15:30,461
The unconditional love of family?

339
00:15:30,463 --> 00:15:33,030
Ugh. Maybe.

340
00:15:34,332 --> 00:15:37,968
It's a compelling argument for
staying loaded till you die.

341
00:15:39,321 --> 00:15:42,356
Marjorie gave me that same look.

342
00:15:57,706 --> 00:15:59,506
Oh, God!

343
00:16:02,294 --> 00:16:03,661
Can I help you?

344
00:16:03,663 --> 00:16:07,248
Hi. I... I'm looking for a Jerry Armstrong.

345
00:16:07,250 --> 00:16:08,382
That's me.

346
00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:09,883
Oh, okay, great.

347
00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:12,553
I'm Christy. I'm a friend of your mother's.

348
00:16:13,722 --> 00:16:15,139
Not interested.

349
00:16:15,141 --> 00:16:16,473
Wait, wait, wait, wait.

350
00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:19,209
Um, I just want you to know

351
00:16:19,211 --> 00:16:23,013
that she's going through a tough time.

352
00:16:23,015 --> 00:16:24,481
She's got cancer.

353
00:16:24,483 --> 00:16:27,768
Okay, now I know.

354
00:16:27,770 --> 00:16:28,885
Have a nice day.

355
00:16:28,887 --> 00:16:31,071
Oh come on. She's your mother.

356
00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:33,157
Let me guess.

357
00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:36,860
You're one of her little Anonymous friends.

358
00:16:36,862 --> 00:16:39,079
Yeah.

359
00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:42,783
<i>Yeah. 12 simple steps
that let you off the hook</i>

360
00:16:42,785 --> 00:16:45,369
for ruining everyone's life.

361
00:16:47,255 --> 00:16:52,293
Well, there's more to it than that.

362
00:16:52,295 --> 00:16:54,345
There's also coffee and cookies.

363
00:16:58,133 --> 00:17:00,851
Look, uh...

364
00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:03,220
let me tell ya something, Christy.

365
00:17:03,222 --> 00:17:05,589
My mother was a drunk and a drug addict

366
00:17:05,591 --> 00:17:08,142
who abandoned me more
times than I can count.

367
00:17:08,144 --> 00:17:12,196
So you'll have to excuse me
if I'm rooting for the cancer.

368
00:17:13,931 --> 00:17:15,649
Wow.

369
00:17:15,651 --> 00:17:18,819
That's a Mother's Day card you don't see.

370
00:17:21,606 --> 00:17:24,107
Listen, Jerry, I understand how you feel.

371
00:17:24,109 --> 00:17:26,460
I had the same kind of mom.

372
00:17:26,462 --> 00:17:30,047
But she's changed, and I've changed.

373
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:32,666
I've changed more.

374
00:17:32,668 --> 00:17:34,918
I'm actually a much
better person than she is.

375
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:38,639
Well, uh, thanks for sharing.

376
00:17:39,257 --> 00:17:41,258
Are we done?

377
00:17:41,260 --> 00:17:46,347
You just need to know that your
mom is not like you remember.

378
00:17:46,349 --> 00:17:48,849
She's a warm and loving
woman who has helped

379
00:17:48,851 --> 00:17:51,235
a lot of people, including me.

380
00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:54,137
And a bunch of cats.

381
00:17:55,106 --> 00:17:58,409
Which you two seem to have in common.

382
00:17:58,411 --> 00:17:59,910
Great.

383
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:01,245
Bye.

384
00:18:07,285 --> 00:18:09,753
I saw that ending in a hug.

385
00:18:13,324 --> 00:18:15,843
The trick to forging a signature

386
00:18:15,845 --> 00:18:19,880
is turning the original
upside down when you copy it.

387
00:18:19,882 --> 00:18:21,632
How'd you learn that?

388
00:18:21,634 --> 00:18:23,467
'Cause sometimes grandmas
have to write checks

389
00:18:23,469 --> 00:18:25,302
they're not supposed to.

390
00:18:27,004 --> 00:18:28,472
Sorry I'm late.

391
00:18:28,474 --> 00:18:30,006
Where were you?

392
00:18:30,008 --> 00:18:31,842
Doesn't matter.

393
00:18:31,844 --> 00:18:35,646
Look, this is gonna sound
weird, but I just want you guys

394
00:18:35,648 --> 00:18:37,347
to know that I love you

395
00:18:37,349 --> 00:18:39,683
and I am so happy we're all together.

396
00:18:39,685 --> 00:18:42,386
Are you drinking again?

397
00:18:43,872 --> 00:18:47,074
Violet, you can't ask that
every time I say I love you.

398
00:18:47,076 --> 00:18:50,544
Here, I stopped to get you some new jeans.

399
00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:51,578
Really?

400
00:18:51,580 --> 00:18:53,580
Yeah, look.

401
00:18:53,582 --> 00:18:55,749
They're cute and they've
got a stretchy waist.

402
00:18:55,751 --> 00:18:57,050
Thanks.

403
00:18:57,052 --> 00:18:58,385
You're welcome.

404
00:18:58,387 --> 00:19:01,922
I'm sorry I was a little
rough on you the other day.

405
00:19:01,924 --> 00:19:03,841
- It's okay.
- No, it's not.

406
00:19:03,843 --> 00:19:06,643
I want you to visit me when I'm dying.

407
00:19:07,429 --> 00:19:09,229
Sure.

408
00:19:10,432 --> 00:19:11,548
Great!

409
00:19:11,550 --> 00:19:15,185
Now, uh, what's going on over here?

410
00:19:15,187 --> 00:19:16,219
Tell her.

411
00:19:16,221 --> 00:19:18,071
I flunked my math test.

412
00:19:18,073 --> 00:19:19,890
Oh, Roscoe, you gotta apply yourself!

413
00:19:19,892 --> 00:19:21,241
Otherwise, you're gonna... !

414
00:19:23,195 --> 00:19:25,612
Okay, let me start over.

415
00:19:25,614 --> 00:19:27,614
You are a very smart young man,

416
00:19:27,616 --> 00:19:30,567
and I know that you
will do better next time.

417
00:19:30,569 --> 00:19:32,736
I doubt it.

418
00:19:34,956 --> 00:19:36,757
Do you need me to sign it?

419
00:19:36,759 --> 00:19:38,091
That's okay.

420
00:19:38,093 --> 00:19:39,910
Grandma's teaching me
to forge your signature.

421
00:19:39,912 --> 00:19:41,795
- Really?
- I don't think

422
00:19:41,797 --> 00:19:44,882
he can fool a bank, but
he can sure fool a teacher.

423
00:20:00,465 --> 00:20:04,818
Thanks for getting all
dolled up for my chemo.

424
00:20:04,820 --> 00:20:08,155
Oh, this? Just threw it on.

425
00:20:08,157 --> 00:20:11,275
Oh, please, you're trying
to bag that cute doctor.

426
00:20:11,277 --> 00:20:14,311
Say again. I couldn't
hear you over your boobs.

427
00:20:16,998 --> 00:20:21,118
Regardless, I'm really
glad you're both here.

428
00:20:38,887 --> 00:20:40,721
He's gay.

429
00:20:52,317 --> 00:20:53,984
Oh, my God.

430
00:20:53,986 --> 00:20:55,702
What?

431
00:20:55,704 --> 00:20:58,822
I just got a text from my son.

432
00:21:00,625 --> 00:21:02,359
He wants to see me.

433
00:21:07,382 --> 00:21:09,199
That's great.

434
00:21:12,650 --> 00:21:22,650
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