1
00:00:06,371 --> 00:00:08,765
Really? That's how
you're gonna do it?

2
00:00:08,809 --> 00:00:11,289
Wendy, she's a prison nurse,

3
00:00:11,333 --> 00:00:13,944
which means she can kick
your ass and bandage you up.

4
00:00:14,945 --> 00:00:17,252
Not properly.

5
00:00:18,806 --> 00:00:21,896
Follow my finger,
follow my finger.

6
00:00:21,939 --> 00:00:23,549
What are you looking for?

7
00:00:23,693 --> 00:00:26,130
I don't know.

8
00:00:26,174 --> 00:00:27,740
I'm fine.

9
00:00:27,784 --> 00:00:29,873
I think I just took
a clog to the head.

10
00:00:29,917 --> 00:00:33,224
I'm sorry.
They help me with my back pain.

11
00:00:33,268 --> 00:00:37,881
And it wasn't my fault,
someone hit me with Wendy.

12
00:00:37,925 --> 00:00:39,361
Oh, my God, my watch.

13
00:00:39,404 --> 00:00:42,451
My watch.
Someone stole my watch!

14
00:00:42,494 --> 00:00:45,106
Oh wait, I hid it in my bra.

15
00:00:46,585 --> 00:00:48,109
Is everyone all right?

16
00:00:48,152 --> 00:00:50,415
No, her arm is broken.

17
00:00:50,459 --> 00:00:51,503
It's not broken.

18
00:00:51,547 --> 00:00:53,854
It's just
poorly bandaged.

19
00:00:53,897 --> 00:00:56,900
We were just trying
to help some alcoholics.

20
00:00:58,119 --> 00:01:00,382
Oh, hey.
Anyone lose an earring?

21
00:01:00,425 --> 00:01:02,993
Ah! It's a tooth!

22
00:01:03,037 --> 00:01:05,039
♪♪

23
00:01:22,164 --> 00:01:24,732
Can you tell me exactly
what happened here?

24
00:01:24,775 --> 00:01:27,125
[all talking at once]

25
00:01:27,169 --> 00:01:28,779
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.

26
00:01:28,823 --> 00:01:29,867
One at a time, please.

27
00:01:29,911 --> 00:01:31,652
Okay, okay.

28
00:01:31,695 --> 00:01:35,220
I organized an AA meeting
for your inmates

29
00:01:35,264 --> 00:01:39,007
and we were all very excited
to be here this afternoon.

30
00:01:39,050 --> 00:01:42,184
Oh, God, why do we
have to do this?

31
00:01:42,227 --> 00:01:44,012
Adam and I had plans.

32
00:01:44,055 --> 00:01:45,100
To do what?

33
00:01:45,143 --> 00:01:46,580
Anything but this.

34
00:01:46,623 --> 00:01:48,364
And how did I get roped
into driving?

35
00:01:48,408 --> 00:01:50,497
I should be in the back seat
studying for the LSATs.

36
00:01:50,540 --> 00:01:52,455
Hmm. Trust me,
you do not want be crammed

37
00:01:52,499 --> 00:01:54,022
in this little back seat.

38
00:01:54,065 --> 00:01:56,981
It's like a Red Bull graveyard
back here.

39
00:01:57,025 --> 00:02:00,289
Or as I like to call it,
sober cocaine.

40
00:02:00,332 --> 00:02:02,900
Why didn't we
take your car?

41
00:02:02,944 --> 00:02:05,686
It's roomy and it has
the Broadway Channel.

42
00:02:05,729 --> 00:02:08,079
Those crooks see me
pull up in my Range Rover,

43
00:02:08,123 --> 00:02:10,386
next thing you know I'm
a hostage with a torn blouse

44
00:02:10,430 --> 00:02:14,085
doing whatever
it takes to survive.

45
00:02:14,129 --> 00:02:16,348
Go on.

46
00:02:18,263 --> 00:02:19,917
Jill, there's guards
in the room.

47
00:02:19,961 --> 00:02:21,876
We'll be fine.

48
00:02:21,919 --> 00:02:24,269
There will be guards,
right, Marjorie?

49
00:02:24,313 --> 00:02:28,186
Yes, and we all agreed
to do this panel months ago.

50
00:02:28,230 --> 00:02:31,668
Only because you're old
and we assumed you'd forget.

51
00:02:31,712 --> 00:02:33,017
Mom, I'll give you
a hundred bucks

52
00:02:33,061 --> 00:02:34,279
if you remember
our phone number.

53
00:02:36,238 --> 00:02:40,285
Five... something.

54
00:02:40,329 --> 00:02:43,201
I just don't know
what I have to offer.

55
00:02:43,245 --> 00:02:45,769
A bunch of convicts aren't
gonna relate to my story:

56
00:02:45,813 --> 00:02:48,685
some rich bitch who went to four
fancy rehabs to get sober.

57
00:02:48,729 --> 00:02:50,252
It's just gonna make 'em angry.

58
00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:52,210
It makes me angry.

59
00:02:52,254 --> 00:02:55,300
Look, it's important to share
our recovery with these women.

60
00:02:55,344 --> 00:02:58,521
The first meeting I ever went to
was when I was in prison.

61
00:02:58,565 --> 00:03:01,306
Who knows, you can change
someone's life today.

62
00:03:01,350 --> 00:03:04,092
Or we could assume their lives
are fine and just go home.

63
00:03:04,135 --> 00:03:05,702
I'm excited
to talk to them.

64
00:03:05,746 --> 00:03:08,662
I even came up with a few
jokes to break the ice.

65
00:03:08,705 --> 00:03:11,882
So these two serial
killers are in a canoe...Stop.

66
00:03:11,926 --> 00:03:15,843
I am not getting shivved because
you want to be Jimmy Kimmel.

67
00:03:15,886 --> 00:03:18,410
You don't get "shivved,"
you get "shanked.

68
00:03:18,454 --> 00:03:20,543
A shiv is a thing
you get shanked with.

69
00:03:20,587 --> 00:03:22,502
You get shanked with a shiv.

70
00:03:24,591 --> 00:03:26,549
ANDREA:
Excuse me.

71
00:03:26,593 --> 00:03:28,725
Can you move
the story along?

72
00:03:28,769 --> 00:03:31,641
I'm sorry, I'm just trying
to give you context.

73
00:03:31,685 --> 00:03:32,860
JILL:
Marjorie,

74
00:03:32,903 --> 00:03:34,731
let me take it from here.

75
00:03:34,775 --> 00:03:36,646
We arrived, ate a bowl

76
00:03:36,690 --> 00:03:38,430
of something gray
with cornbread.

77
00:03:38,474 --> 00:03:41,346
Then we started the panel
for the inmates.

78
00:03:41,390 --> 00:03:43,000
Wendy bombed with her jokes.

79
00:03:43,044 --> 00:03:45,568
Hey, they were
starting to warm up.

80
00:03:45,612 --> 00:03:47,918
Someone spit on you.

81
00:03:49,267 --> 00:03:50,791
Then Christy did her usual

82
00:03:50,834 --> 00:03:52,793
"hate my mom,
gonna be a lawyer" deal,

83
00:03:52,836 --> 00:03:54,664
then it was my turn
to share my story.

84
00:03:54,708 --> 00:03:57,275
Which wasn't your story at all.

85
00:03:57,319 --> 00:04:00,844
All right, I may have gotten off
to a rocky start.

86
00:04:00,888 --> 00:04:02,629
I'm not gonna lie,

87
00:04:02,672 --> 00:04:04,718
it's just so hard being poor.

88
00:04:04,761 --> 00:04:07,372
Jugglin' four jobs

89
00:04:07,416 --> 00:04:10,724
at four different job places.

90
00:04:13,770 --> 00:04:16,425
Okay, even I didn't believe
what I just said.

91
00:04:16,468 --> 00:04:19,036
Truth is, I'm rich.
Like, "I don't even know

92
00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:22,823
how much a loaf
of bread costs" rich. [sighs]

93
00:04:22,866 --> 00:04:25,086
But all that money
couldn't keep me from using.

94
00:04:25,129 --> 00:04:28,350
I recently threw away
three years of sobriety.

95
00:04:28,393 --> 00:04:31,222
I was drinking in every room
of my big, fancy house,

96
00:04:31,266 --> 00:04:33,660
including the gym.

97
00:04:33,703 --> 00:04:35,183
It's real hard to crash
a stationary bike,

98
00:04:35,226 --> 00:04:36,532
but it can be done.

99
00:04:38,273 --> 00:04:39,840
Now I've got
a little over a month

100
00:04:39,883 --> 00:04:42,364
and I'm holding on
for dear life.

101
00:04:42,407 --> 00:04:44,366
I'm not sure if that makes sense
to any of you,

102
00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:46,194
but that's my story.

103
00:04:46,237 --> 00:04:47,717
Thank you.

104
00:04:51,286 --> 00:04:53,854
Shoulda skipped the
part about the gym.

105
00:04:53,897 --> 00:04:56,726
Why? They got
a gym here.

106
00:04:56,770 --> 00:05:00,512
First, let me apologize for
Wendy's "captive audience" joke.

107
00:05:00,556 --> 00:05:02,732
She doesn't get out much.

108
00:05:02,776 --> 00:05:05,474
Well, probably more than you.

109
00:05:05,517 --> 00:05:07,389
[laughter]

110
00:05:07,432 --> 00:05:09,173
That's how it's done.

111
00:05:11,219 --> 00:05:12,699
Anyway, I'm Bonnie
and I'm an alcoholic.

112
00:05:12,742 --> 00:05:14,788
INMATES: Hi, Bonnie.
- Bonnie Plunkett?

113
00:05:15,702 --> 00:05:17,442
You ruined my life!

114
00:05:17,486 --> 00:05:19,140
[screams]

115
00:05:19,183 --> 00:05:21,098
Code three, rec room.

116
00:05:21,142 --> 00:05:22,447
Oh, God.[indistinct shouting]

117
00:05:22,491 --> 00:05:24,232
Oh, my God! I'm gonna die

118
00:05:24,275 --> 00:05:26,364
in a women's prison!

119
00:05:26,408 --> 00:05:29,585
Well, how do you know
Tammy Diffendorf?

120
00:05:29,629 --> 00:05:32,719
I don't. I have never
seen her before in my life.

121
00:05:32,762 --> 00:05:34,590
But she knew your name

122
00:05:34,634 --> 00:05:36,418
and said she wanted
to kill you.

123
00:05:36,461 --> 00:05:38,550
My mom gets that more often
than you think.

124
00:05:40,683 --> 00:05:42,293
Do you want to press charges?

125
00:05:43,904 --> 00:05:46,167
Would there be
any monetary compensation

126
00:05:46,210 --> 00:05:47,777
for my pain and suffering?

127
00:05:47,821 --> 00:05:49,083
No.

128
00:05:49,126 --> 00:05:50,954
Pass.

129
00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:56,873
37 years I've been doing
these panels,

130
00:05:56,917 --> 00:05:59,136
never once have I been hit
with a chair.

131
00:05:59,180 --> 00:06:01,965
[scoffs] Are you implying
this is my fault?

132
00:06:02,009 --> 00:06:04,185
She didn't threaten to kill me.

133
00:06:04,228 --> 00:06:07,710
She would if she knew you.

134
00:06:07,754 --> 00:06:09,364
You really don't
remember who she is?

135
00:06:09,407 --> 00:06:10,974
I'm telling you,
I don't know her.

136
00:06:11,018 --> 00:06:14,369
Tammy Diffendorf is
not a name you forget.

137
00:06:14,412 --> 00:06:16,937
Maybe she's someone
from your drug days.

138
00:06:16,980 --> 00:06:19,722
Everyone who wants to kill me
is from my drug days.

139
00:06:19,766 --> 00:06:21,724
No, they're not.

140
00:06:23,726 --> 00:06:26,381
Hopefully, we managed
to do some good

141
00:06:26,424 --> 00:06:28,339
before the riot broke out.

142
00:06:28,383 --> 00:06:30,298
I think my story
touched people.

143
00:06:30,341 --> 00:06:31,734
I saw a few tears.

144
00:06:31,778 --> 00:06:33,518
Those were tattoos.

145
00:06:35,042 --> 00:06:36,783
I think they really connected

146
00:06:36,826 --> 00:06:38,349
with your story, Christy:

147
00:06:38,393 --> 00:06:40,830
ex-stripper studying
to be a lawyer.

148
00:06:40,874 --> 00:06:43,180
They did, didn't they?

149
00:06:43,224 --> 00:06:45,835
Like if they were to make
a movie of my life,

150
00:06:45,879 --> 00:06:48,795
that scene would definitely be
in the trailer.

151
00:06:48,838 --> 00:06:51,493
Well, I'm glad you all had
such a wonderful time.

152
00:06:51,536 --> 00:06:54,452
Meanwhile, some maniac named
Tammy is running around

153
00:06:54,496 --> 00:06:57,760
with my DNA
under her fingernails.

154
00:06:57,804 --> 00:07:01,372
Tammy... Tammy...

155
00:07:01,416 --> 00:07:04,245
Who the hell is Tammy?

156
00:07:06,943 --> 00:07:09,032
Tammy. Tammy.

157
00:07:09,076 --> 00:07:12,340
Tammy, Tammy, Tammy,
Tammy, Tammy.
Mom.

158
00:07:13,645 --> 00:07:14,995
I've got an idea.

159
00:07:15,038 --> 00:07:17,824
You say the name "Tammy"
500 more times,

160
00:07:17,867 --> 00:07:19,695
I'm gonna go thank
my lucky stars

161
00:07:19,739 --> 00:07:21,262
for a toilet with a seat.

162
00:07:23,743 --> 00:07:28,051
Tammy... Tammy... Tammy.

163
00:07:32,142 --> 00:07:36,059
Tammy... Tammy.

164
00:07:38,801 --> 00:07:40,760
[muffled]:
Tammy.

165
00:07:42,849 --> 00:07:45,721
Guys, I had a major breakthrough
at the meeting today.

166
00:07:45,765 --> 00:07:47,592
I mean, it was like
a thunderbolt.

167
00:07:47,636 --> 00:07:50,421
Every mistake I've ever made
in my life is because...

168
00:07:50,465 --> 00:07:52,684
Oh, my God! Tammy.

169
00:07:52,728 --> 00:07:54,208
I was talking.

170
00:07:54,251 --> 00:07:55,513
I know, and thank you.

171
00:07:55,557 --> 00:07:57,211
That's when I do
my best thinking.

172
00:08:03,915 --> 00:08:05,072
So you remember?

173
00:08:05,115 --> 00:08:07,233
Yes, I don't know
if it's the coffee

174
00:08:07,238 --> 00:08:09,002
or me not wanting
to hear Wendy's story,

175
00:08:09,007 --> 00:08:11,094
but it's finally
coming back to me.

176
00:08:11,099 --> 00:08:13,101
Maybe we should
let Wendy finish.

177
00:08:13,144 --> 00:08:14,711
Oh, come on, Marjorie.

178
00:08:14,754 --> 00:08:16,539
A gigantic woman
tackled Bonnie.

179
00:08:16,582 --> 00:08:19,237
Tell me you don't want to hear
the "who," "what," "why."

180
00:08:19,281 --> 00:08:21,848
I think I may have mentioned
in passing

181
00:08:21,892 --> 00:08:23,502
that I was in foster care.

182
00:08:23,546 --> 00:08:25,896
Nah.
Stop.
No, really?
You?

183
00:08:25,939 --> 00:08:27,593
Anyway, when I was 14,

184
00:08:27,637 --> 00:08:29,073
I got placed
with a family in Vallejo.

185
00:08:29,117 --> 00:08:31,815
Ew. Vallejo?
Sounds dusty.

186
00:08:31,858 --> 00:08:34,644
I'd been bouncing from one
crap hole to another for years,

187
00:08:34,687 --> 00:08:36,907
but this new place
was actually decent.

188
00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:39,040
I had my own room
for the first time.

189
00:08:39,083 --> 00:08:40,737
I could drink, smoke dope,

190
00:08:40,780 --> 00:08:42,521
sneak boys in
through the window,

191
00:08:42,565 --> 00:08:45,263
but then they took in
this other girl.

192
00:08:49,224 --> 00:08:50,877
Tammy?

193
00:08:52,140 --> 00:08:53,837
Tammy.

194
00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:57,101
She had these adorable
French braids.

195
00:08:57,145 --> 00:08:59,321
She did her homework
every night.

196
00:08:59,364 --> 00:09:01,845
She helped around the house
with the chores.

197
00:09:01,888 --> 00:09:04,978
She was polite, considerate,
cheerful.

198
00:09:05,022 --> 00:09:07,459
I hated her guts.

199
00:09:07,503 --> 00:09:10,506
Having Little Miss Perfect
around

200
00:09:10,549 --> 00:09:12,116
was screwing my sweet deal.

201
00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:14,553
I had to find a way to bring her
to the dark side.

202
00:09:14,597 --> 00:09:16,120
Turns out, I'm really good

203
00:09:16,164 --> 00:09:17,948
at bringing people
to the dark side.

204
00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:21,212
Stop.
No. Really?
What?

205
00:09:21,256 --> 00:09:23,258
Anyway, she had this boyfriend,

206
00:09:23,301 --> 00:09:25,216
another straight-A,
goody-two-shoes nerd.

207
00:09:25,260 --> 00:09:27,218
But the nerd had a penis,
and that made him weak.

208
00:09:27,262 --> 00:09:29,090
So,

209
00:09:29,133 --> 00:09:31,004
I had my friend Donna--
very chesty,

210
00:09:31,048 --> 00:09:33,268
lots of tube tops,
she's dead now--

211
00:09:33,311 --> 00:09:36,314
I had her make out with him
behind the gym

212
00:09:36,358 --> 00:09:39,578
just as I innocently walked
Tammy around the corner.

213
00:09:39,622 --> 00:09:42,146
Oh, she was devastated.

214
00:09:42,190 --> 00:09:45,889
Luckily, I had the
perfect thing to comfort her.

215
00:09:49,197 --> 00:09:52,548
BONNIE:
Wanna get away?

216
00:09:53,853 --> 00:09:55,942
Before I knew it,

217
00:09:55,986 --> 00:09:58,075
Tammy went bad girl
in a big way.

218
00:09:58,119 --> 00:09:59,816
Even I was impressed. She was

219
00:09:59,859 --> 00:10:01,426
wakin' and bakin',
flunkin' tests,

220
00:10:01,470 --> 00:10:03,254
buying vodka from the janitor.

221
00:10:03,298 --> 00:10:05,126
Pfft. A month later,
she was gone.

222
00:10:05,169 --> 00:10:06,605
[laughs]

223
00:10:06,649 --> 00:10:09,869
Ah, misty watercolored memories.

224
00:10:11,349 --> 00:10:13,351
So, who wants
to split a chef's salad?

225
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,573
What?

226
00:10:17,616 --> 00:10:19,749
A whole salad
makes me bloaty.

227
00:10:19,792 --> 00:10:22,926
Bonnie, you do realize

228
00:10:22,969 --> 00:10:26,495
what you did to
Tammy was wrong--

229
00:10:26,538 --> 00:10:30,238
although impressively
complex for a 14-year-old.

230
00:10:30,281 --> 00:10:33,458
Mm. Not that impressive.

231
00:10:33,502 --> 00:10:35,634
14-year-olds
are pure evil.

232
00:10:35,678 --> 00:10:38,376
I spent three semesters
taking down an art teacher.

233
00:10:38,420 --> 00:10:42,728
Tell me my horse painting
was unrealistic.

234
00:10:42,772 --> 00:10:44,991
What is it with
janitors and vodka?

235
00:10:45,035 --> 00:10:47,255
Our junior high janitor
didn't have a hand,

236
00:10:47,298 --> 00:10:50,127
but he always
had vodka.

237
00:10:51,824 --> 00:10:54,218
Are you saying
it's my fault she's in jail?

238
00:10:54,262 --> 00:10:56,264
No, I didn't say that.

239
00:10:56,307 --> 00:10:58,135
Then what are you saying,
Marjorie?

240
00:10:59,876 --> 00:11:02,661
May I?
Yes. I'm so tired of this.

241
00:11:07,144 --> 00:11:10,278
"And so, I-I'd like
to make amends

242
00:11:10,321 --> 00:11:13,194
"for those terrible things
I did to you

243
00:11:13,237 --> 00:11:15,500
"when we were both struggling

244
00:11:15,544 --> 00:11:19,548
with the challenges
of the foster care system."

245
00:11:19,591 --> 00:11:22,377
That's it?

246
00:11:22,420 --> 00:11:25,684
That's all I prepared,
but I could riff a little.

247
00:11:25,728 --> 00:11:27,251
You're unbelievable.

248
00:11:27,295 --> 00:11:29,166
Thank you,
but I can't take full credit.

249
00:11:29,210 --> 00:11:32,213
I've learned a lot from the
program, but most of it is me.

250
00:11:32,256 --> 00:11:34,563
Screw your program.
I only went to that meeting

251
00:11:34,606 --> 00:11:37,043
to get away from my
masturbating cellmate.

252
00:11:37,087 --> 00:11:39,655
Talk about addiction.

253
00:11:39,698 --> 00:11:42,571
Is she top bunk, or bottom bunk?

254
00:11:42,614 --> 00:11:45,269
I-I don't know why I asked that.

255
00:11:45,313 --> 00:11:48,272
Let me get this straight.
You drove all the way out here

256
00:11:48,316 --> 00:11:50,448
to apologize to me
for handing me a joint

257
00:11:50,492 --> 00:11:51,928
and messing around
with my boyfriend?

258
00:11:51,971 --> 00:11:54,713
Technically, that was Donna,
may she rest in peace.

259
00:11:54,757 --> 00:11:58,239
Oh, she's dead? Good.

260
00:11:58,282 --> 00:12:00,893
Now when are you gonna apologize
for what you really did to me?

261
00:12:00,937 --> 00:12:03,069
Well, um, I was hoping

262
00:12:03,113 --> 00:12:06,203
my apology was, uh, more
of a blanket type deal,

263
00:12:06,247 --> 00:12:08,118
but if there are specifics,

264
00:12:08,161 --> 00:12:10,294
I could tackle them
on a case-by-case basis.

265
00:12:10,338 --> 00:12:12,209
You got me kicked
out of that house!

266
00:12:12,253 --> 00:12:13,732
No, no, you got kicked out

267
00:12:13,776 --> 00:12:15,125
'cause you stole
our foster father's wallet.

268
00:12:15,168 --> 00:12:16,431
No, you stole his wallet

269
00:12:16,474 --> 00:12:18,781
and planted it
in my book bag.
Oh.

270
00:12:18,824 --> 00:12:22,959
Ooh. Yeah.

271
00:12:23,002 --> 00:12:26,049
They kicked me out and
put me in a group home.

272
00:12:26,092 --> 00:12:28,878
It was hell, so I took off.

273
00:12:28,921 --> 00:12:32,098
I was 14 years old,
living on the street,

274
00:12:32,142 --> 00:12:34,405
doing stuff I didn't even
know I was capable of.

275
00:12:34,449 --> 00:12:37,626
Aw, Tammy, I'm so sorry.

276
00:12:37,669 --> 00:12:39,758
Yeah, well, "sorry"
doesn't help me, does it?

277
00:12:39,802 --> 00:12:42,935
'Cause you're out
there, and I'm in here.

278
00:12:42,979 --> 00:12:46,069
I spent the last 40 years
wishing I never met you.

279
00:12:46,112 --> 00:12:48,637
Guard?

280
00:12:55,252 --> 00:12:58,951
I'm so upset
about what I did to this woman.

281
00:12:58,995 --> 00:13:00,997
I can't eat, I can't sleep.

282
00:13:01,040 --> 00:13:03,478
I'm haunted, like the guy
who hears his own heart

283
00:13:03,521 --> 00:13:05,610
through the wall
in that Stephen King book.

284
00:13:05,654 --> 00:13:07,612
Like she read a book.
BONNIE:
I'm telling you

285
00:13:07,656 --> 00:13:10,485
it's been a nightmare.
Like she has a heart.

286
00:13:10,528 --> 00:13:12,617
You know, a week ago,

287
00:13:12,661 --> 00:13:15,141
I couldn't even remember
who this woman was.

288
00:13:15,185 --> 00:13:17,013
Turns out I ruined her life.

289
00:13:17,056 --> 00:13:19,450
Makes me wonder
how many other peoples' lives

290
00:13:19,494 --> 00:13:22,323
I might have ruined.

291
00:13:23,454 --> 00:13:26,805
That I don't know of.

292
00:13:28,154 --> 00:13:31,375
Anyway, made my amends,
totally tanked.

293
00:13:31,419 --> 00:13:33,464
Just wish there was
something else I could do.

294
00:13:35,161 --> 00:13:36,989
Happy to be sober,
where every day

295
00:13:37,033 --> 00:13:39,383
I get to discover
new ways I'm terrible.

296
00:13:41,994 --> 00:13:43,431
Anyone else
like to share?

297
00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:45,650
I'll go.
Christy, alcoholic.

298
00:13:45,694 --> 00:13:47,348
ALL:
Hi, Christy.

299
00:13:47,391 --> 00:13:50,438
First of all, the book
my mother was referring to was

300
00:13:50,481 --> 00:13:52,962
The Telltale Heart
by Edgar Allan Poe.

301
00:13:53,005 --> 00:13:55,791
I liked it better
when she was stupid.

302
00:13:55,834 --> 00:13:58,489
I bitch about my life
in this room a lot,

303
00:13:58,533 --> 00:14:03,886
but after visiting that prison,
I got to say, I feel lucky.

304
00:14:03,929 --> 00:14:07,150
I met women in there doing time
for things I've done.

305
00:14:07,193 --> 00:14:10,022
I just didn't get caught.

306
00:14:10,066 --> 00:14:12,460
It's funny.
Getting into law school

307
00:14:12,503 --> 00:14:14,723
has been such a pain in the ass.

308
00:14:14,766 --> 00:14:17,378
I was starting to wonder
if it was worth it.

309
00:14:17,421 --> 00:14:19,118
But if some day,

310
00:14:19,162 --> 00:14:23,166
I get to help just one
of these women, I know it is.

311
00:14:25,037 --> 00:14:28,606
Who knows? Maybe I can devote
my entire practice

312
00:14:28,650 --> 00:14:30,521
to people my mother destroyed.

313
00:14:32,784 --> 00:14:35,221
But will I hear a thank you?

314
00:14:42,490 --> 00:14:45,580
Hey, there she is!

315
00:14:45,623 --> 00:14:47,799
They said you have
a prepaid phone card for me?

316
00:14:47,843 --> 00:14:50,454
And six pairs of underwear
in various styles.

317
00:14:50,498 --> 00:14:52,282
If you're not a thong girl,

318
00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:54,066
perhaps you could
barter them for snacks.

319
00:14:55,503 --> 00:14:58,331
Hi. I'm her daughter Christy.

320
00:14:58,375 --> 00:15:01,117
Man, how much did you smoke?

321
00:15:02,945 --> 00:15:05,295
In her defense,
she didn't know she was pregnant

322
00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:06,949
till I fell out of her.

323
00:15:06,992 --> 00:15:08,907
We're not here
to talk about me.

324
00:15:08,951 --> 00:15:10,779
Now, I went
to the prison officials

325
00:15:10,822 --> 00:15:13,956
and explained your attack on me
was totally justified.

326
00:15:13,999 --> 00:15:15,479
You get me my
privileges back?

327
00:15:15,523 --> 00:15:16,828
No. They laughed at me.

328
00:15:16,872 --> 00:15:18,830
Actually, they were
kind of mean about it.

329
00:15:18,874 --> 00:15:21,833
And a little condescending.

330
00:15:21,877 --> 00:15:24,445
Be sure to give the
prison a bad Yelp review.

331
00:15:24,488 --> 00:15:26,229
Are we done here?

332
00:15:26,272 --> 00:15:28,797
No. The reason I brought
my daughter is she's a lawyer.

333
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:30,625
Not a lawyer, not yet.

334
00:15:30,668 --> 00:15:33,802
But I know one, and he's agreed
to take a look at your case.

335
00:15:33,845 --> 00:15:35,281
Yeah, we thought
we could see

336
00:15:35,325 --> 00:15:37,414
if there was a way
we could get you out early.

337
00:15:37,458 --> 00:15:39,460
Oh, that's great because
I totally didn't mean

338
00:15:39,503 --> 00:15:41,766
to kill those
people and eat them.

339
00:15:41,810 --> 00:15:43,638
What?

340
00:15:43,681 --> 00:15:45,770
Kidding. I robbed an
Outback Steakhouse.

341
00:15:45,814 --> 00:15:48,947
Just my luck, it was
"Cops Eat Free" night.

342
00:15:48,991 --> 00:15:52,908
I was arrested
by 32 people.

343
00:15:52,951 --> 00:15:57,478
Okay, well, did any of them
get a little grabby?

344
00:15:57,521 --> 00:15:59,741
This is our time.

345
00:15:59,784 --> 00:16:01,917
I was tripping balls
on mushrooms, sweetie.

346
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:03,440
I got no idea.

347
00:16:03,484 --> 00:16:04,920
So, are we done?

348
00:16:04,963 --> 00:16:07,226
Uh, yeah.
Guess so.

349
00:16:08,967 --> 00:16:10,839
Tammy?

350
00:16:10,882 --> 00:16:13,015
Listen, I-I know
you hate my mom,

351
00:16:13,058 --> 00:16:15,017
and you have every right to,

352
00:16:15,060 --> 00:16:18,716
but you should know
she genuinely feels terrible,

353
00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:21,110
and now
she's a really good person.

354
00:16:23,068 --> 00:16:24,983
Well, she's a better person.

355
00:16:26,071 --> 00:16:27,943
She's a person.

356
00:16:27,986 --> 00:16:29,814
Let's go, Christy.

357
00:16:29,858 --> 00:16:31,860
Hey, Plunkett?
BOTH:
Yeah.

358
00:16:31,903 --> 00:16:33,644
Not you, Cigarette Baby.

359
00:16:40,085 --> 00:16:42,479
Those people we lived with--
they end up adopting you?

360
00:16:42,523 --> 00:16:45,090
Hell, no. I got kicked out
two weeks after you did.

361
00:16:45,134 --> 00:16:47,571
Stole her wallet,
had no one to blame it on.

362
00:16:47,615 --> 00:16:50,226
Where'd you end up?
Chicken farm in Bakersfield.

363
00:16:50,269 --> 00:16:52,228
Even worse than it sounds.

364
00:16:52,271 --> 00:16:55,448
We actually had it pretty good
at that house, didn't we?

365
00:16:55,492 --> 00:16:57,668
Ugh. Yeah, they were
nice people.

366
00:16:57,712 --> 00:17:01,585
And they had no idea
what marijuana smelled like.

367
00:17:01,629 --> 00:17:03,892
[laughing]:
I know, right?
What did you tell them?

368
00:17:03,935 --> 00:17:07,069
There was a family of skunks
living under the house?

369
00:17:07,112 --> 00:17:08,897
[laughing]:
Oh, yeah.

370
00:17:08,940 --> 00:17:11,943
And they followed me
to school one time.
Right.

371
00:17:11,987 --> 00:17:13,597
[laughs]

372
00:17:13,641 --> 00:17:16,208
Wait. Do you still draw?
What?

373
00:17:16,252 --> 00:17:19,560
You used to draw all those crazy
snakes everywhere, you know.

374
00:17:19,603 --> 00:17:21,953
On walls, inside
cereal boxes.

375
00:17:21,997 --> 00:17:24,303
I forgot about that.
Remember I drew one on the neck

376
00:17:24,347 --> 00:17:26,218
of that crazy red-headed guy
when he was asleep?

377
00:17:26,262 --> 00:17:28,612
What was his name?
I don't remember, man.

378
00:17:28,656 --> 00:17:30,353
He was psycho.
Oh, my God.

379
00:17:30,396 --> 00:17:32,355
No one home
in those eyes.
Mm-hmm.

380
00:17:32,398 --> 00:17:33,922
Ooh. Good in bed, though.

381
00:17:33,965 --> 00:17:35,793
Yeah, he was.

382
00:17:43,838 --> 00:17:46,460
You call it "tequila"?
I call it "to-kill-ya."

383
00:17:46,465 --> 00:17:48,858
[laughs]
You feel me, right, ma'am?

384
00:17:50,312 --> 00:17:52,967
Where are you from?

385
00:17:53,010 --> 00:17:55,926
[quietly]:
They're not gonna laugh.
Sit down.

386
00:17:57,219 --> 00:18:00,179
All right,
you've been great.

387
00:18:00,222 --> 00:18:02,268
[weak applause]

388
00:18:02,311 --> 00:18:04,444
It's nice they let us come back.

389
00:18:04,487 --> 00:18:06,576
You ever stop to think

390
00:18:06,620 --> 00:18:09,492
that maybe we're part
of their punishment?

391
00:18:09,536 --> 00:18:12,495
Hi. I'm Bonnie,
and I'm an alcoholic.

392
00:18:12,539 --> 00:18:13,931
ALL:
Hi, Bonnie.

393
00:18:13,975 --> 00:18:15,194
Bonnie Plunkett?!

394
00:18:15,237 --> 00:18:17,370
Uh-oh.

395
00:18:17,413 --> 00:18:20,024
Oh!
I remember this one.
It's bad. It's really bad!

396
00:18:20,068 --> 00:18:22,026
[indistinct shouting]