1
00:00:11,810 --> 00:00:13,560
Jill knows we're here, right?

2
00:00:14,650 --> 00:00:17,650
The invite said be
here at 8:00. That's it.

3
00:00:17,650 --> 00:00:19,820
Look, she's been gone for three months.

4
00:00:20,080 --> 00:00:21,870
I bet she wants to make an entrance.

5
00:00:21,870 --> 00:00:23,570
Of course she does. She expects applause

6
00:00:23,570 --> 00:00:25,310
when she comes back from the bathroom.

7
00:00:26,150 --> 00:00:29,150
Well, it's our fault
we started doing that.

8
00:00:30,790 --> 00:00:32,580
You think she lost all the weight?

9
00:00:32,580 --> 00:00:34,070
Weight? Come on.

10
00:00:34,090 --> 00:00:37,040
She didn't go to that place just
so she could kick her pie habit.

11
00:00:37,220 --> 00:00:40,200
My bet, she has new boobs
and a neck like a baby.

12
00:00:41,180 --> 00:00:43,640
She's already beautiful;
why would she do that?

13
00:00:43,980 --> 00:00:45,190
Well, money makes you crazy.

14
00:00:45,220 --> 00:00:47,210
That's why you and I are so normal.

15
00:00:48,180 --> 00:00:51,010
("Also sprach Zarathustra" playing)

16
00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,850
God, I hope that's not her walking.

17
00:00:56,260 --> 00:00:58,510
(dramatic orchestral music continues)

18
00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:01,720
This is actually less
than I was expecting.

19
00:01:06,090 --> 00:01:08,420
She's back and she's skinny!

20
00:01:09,920 --> 00:01:11,950
Oh! Welcome home!

21
00:01:11,950 --> 00:01:13,960
You look amazing! Wow! I'm proud of you!

22
00:01:13,980 --> 00:01:15,050
Oh! Woo-hoo!

23
00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:16,580
We missed you so much.

24
00:01:16,860 --> 00:01:18,390
I missed you guys, too.

25
00:01:18,420 --> 00:01:20,720
Wow, no scarring. Good work.

26
00:01:21,180 --> 00:01:23,210
It's my same face, Bonnie.

27
00:01:23,210 --> 00:01:24,930
One of the things I
learned at the retreat

28
00:01:24,930 --> 00:01:26,920
is it's not about the outside,
it's about what's in here.

29
00:01:27,050 --> 00:01:29,800
Couldn't agree more. Botox and fillers.

30
00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:34,220
I am in a bliss balloon
not even you can pop.

31
00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:36,020
Mm, you do seem happy.

32
00:01:36,050 --> 00:01:38,530
I am. I am totally frickin' at peace.

33
00:01:39,020 --> 00:01:41,070
Now sit back down;
I've got 20 more outfits

34
00:01:41,100 --> 00:01:42,820
and a bikini I want to show you.

35
00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:46,590
Look, I can run again! (laughs)

36
00:01:48,275 --> 00:01:50,896
♪♪

37
00:02:07,350 --> 00:02:09,600
You guys sure you don't
want a bite of this pudding?

38
00:02:09,620 --> 00:02:11,880
Butterscotch, the only
scotch we can have.

39
00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:15,120
I'm fine with my lemon water.

40
00:02:15,130 --> 00:02:17,650
I'm so impressed you're
totally off sugar.

41
00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:20,830
- Me, too.
- (mouth full): You're my hero.

42
00:02:20,860 --> 00:02:22,530
Whenever you're ready.

43
00:02:28,420 --> 00:02:30,760
I guess we should pay.

44
00:02:33,010 --> 00:02:35,390
Yup. Got to get to the
meeting. (chuckles)

45
00:02:35,410 --> 00:02:38,550
Yup. Before all the good seats are gone.

46
00:02:46,410 --> 00:02:48,460
Let's see what the damage is.

47
00:02:48,460 --> 00:02:50,030
(sighs)

48
00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:55,760
That'll cover my part.

49
00:02:57,240 --> 00:02:58,880
Your part?

50
00:02:58,890 --> 00:03:00,270
Yeah, my share.

51
00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:02,520
Oh. (chuckles)

52
00:03:02,540 --> 00:03:04,710
It's just that traditionally
your share is...

53
00:03:05,510 --> 00:03:07,340
the whole thing.

54
00:03:07,730 --> 00:03:10,230
Well, in addition to eating healthy,

55
00:03:10,230 --> 00:03:13,010
the retreat also taught me that
I need to stop using my money

56
00:03:13,020 --> 00:03:15,980
to buy love; ergo, y'all need
to start paying for yourselves,

57
00:03:15,990 --> 00:03:17,630
'cause I ain't no Bank of America.

58
00:03:18,790 --> 00:03:22,830
Look, I'm a huge fan
of growth... go, you...

59
00:03:23,210 --> 00:03:24,610
But a little heads up

60
00:03:24,610 --> 00:03:26,920
would've helped me budget
my order accordingly.

61
00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:28,680
Jill, you're right.

62
00:03:28,700 --> 00:03:31,800
We're all perfectly capable
of paying for our own food.

63
00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:34,700
I'm sorry if you felt like
we were mooching off of you.

64
00:03:34,730 --> 00:03:37,840
- Which we were not.
- Here's your Reuben to go.

65
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,150
I had every intention
of paying for this.

66
00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:45,400
I can feel you reaching into my purse.

67
00:03:52,810 --> 00:03:56,800
Let me guess, this new tax deal
doesn't make us millionaires.

68
00:03:57,530 --> 00:03:59,900
No, it's about the bistro.

69
00:04:00,110 --> 00:04:03,570
If we average $15 apiece every meal,

70
00:04:03,590 --> 00:04:05,680
that's $90 a week.

71
00:04:06,170 --> 00:04:09,060
That's $5,000 a year
Jill's been covering.

72
00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:10,550
(Southern accent): You
sure about that, Jethro?

73
00:04:10,580 --> 00:04:12,440
You never were much at cipherin'.

74
00:04:12,920 --> 00:04:14,310
(Southern accent): Sure I'm sure.

75
00:04:14,340 --> 00:04:16,590
I used this here number box.

76
00:04:17,580 --> 00:04:19,080
(normal voice): It doesn't seem fair.

77
00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:22,120
Why does Jill's self-esteem
have to come out of our pockets?

78
00:04:22,260 --> 00:04:25,880
I know. We either have to
start buying our own lunch

79
00:04:25,900 --> 00:04:27,470
or make Jill hate herself again.

80
00:04:27,470 --> 00:04:30,720
Easy peasy. Just bring up her
ex-husband and their new baby

81
00:04:30,740 --> 00:04:32,930
and slide a Meat Lover's
pizza in front of her.

82
00:04:34,470 --> 00:04:36,350
We can't keep leeching off her.

83
00:04:36,350 --> 00:04:37,470
Hey, it's not like we were

84
00:04:37,500 --> 00:04:39,180
taking advantage of her on purpose.

85
00:04:39,190 --> 00:04:41,630
It's Tuesday! Where's my free Reuben?

86
00:04:44,470 --> 00:04:46,820
Well, this is an adventure.

87
00:04:46,830 --> 00:04:49,260
I haven't carried a tray
since I was in lockup.

88
00:04:49,590 --> 00:04:51,450
I love this concept.

89
00:04:51,450 --> 00:04:54,080
Food from around the world.
Where'd you find this place?

90
00:04:54,110 --> 00:04:56,830
Ah, the ultimate experts on cheap food:

91
00:04:56,860 --> 00:04:58,690
broke-ass college kids.

92
00:04:58,720 --> 00:05:02,350
I ordered a four, a six and
a nine at the Asian counter.

93
00:05:02,370 --> 00:05:05,120
I don't even know what
they are; I just panicked.

94
00:05:05,660 --> 00:05:07,800
Oh, my God, there you are.

95
00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:10,540
I got trapped in a sea of
hoodies at the salsa bar.

96
00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:14,060
Oh, you're gonna have to get
your own silverware and napkins.

97
00:05:14,610 --> 00:05:16,540
Oh, I work here now?

98
00:05:17,190 --> 00:05:20,650
(sighs) Here, take my fork.
I got chili.

99
00:05:20,810 --> 00:05:22,550
(buzzer vibrates)

100
00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:25,060
Mine's already done?

101
00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:29,050
Can a four, a six or a nine
be safely cooked that fast?

102
00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:32,990
Okay, Wendy's our
canary in the coal mine.

103
00:05:32,990 --> 00:05:35,940
If she pukes, gags or
keels over, we stop eating.

104
00:05:36,340 --> 00:05:37,920
Okay, it's not the bistro.

105
00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:39,990
The important thing is that it's a place

106
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:41,890
we can hang out and
talk after the meeting.

107
00:05:41,910 --> 00:05:43,330
She's right.

108
00:05:43,350 --> 00:05:45,720
So, what's new with you, Jill?

109
00:05:46,500 --> 00:05:50,300
Well, I've been having
a little health issue.

110
00:05:50,310 --> 00:05:52,340
(clears throat) I...

111
00:05:56,130 --> 00:05:59,010
- Hello.
- 'Sup?

112
00:06:00,900 --> 00:06:02,350
(quietly): Do we know him?

113
00:06:02,350 --> 00:06:04,020
These are communal tables.

114
00:06:04,020 --> 00:06:07,020
Oh, dear Lord. Where are we, Cuba?

115
00:06:08,990 --> 00:06:10,590
Somebody else talk.

116
00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:14,610
Okay, well, I still haven't heard from

117
00:06:14,610 --> 00:06:17,250
any of the law schools I
applied to, but I'm really...

118
00:06:17,250 --> 00:06:18,950
- (buzzer vibrates)
- Oh. That's me.

119
00:06:18,950 --> 00:06:20,500
Back to you, Jill.

120
00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:22,570
Fine.

121
00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:25,370
I've been having a little trouble

122
00:06:25,380 --> 00:06:27,040
(whispers): down there.

123
00:06:27,350 --> 00:06:29,710
So, I went to my (whispers): gyno,

124
00:06:29,710 --> 00:06:30,760
and he said

125
00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:32,760
the problem is
(whispers): bicycle shorts.

126
00:06:33,020 --> 00:06:35,440
I'm sorry, honey, you're
cutting in and out.

127
00:06:36,130 --> 00:06:37,800
(buzzers vibrating)

128
00:06:37,800 --> 00:06:40,640
Oh. Wheels up, Marge. It's go time.

129
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,480
My girlfriend was having that problem.

130
00:06:44,550 --> 00:06:47,470
She's had good luck
with organic fabrics.

131
00:06:48,870 --> 00:06:51,000
Oh, good, you're weighing in.

132
00:06:52,290 --> 00:06:55,700
Turns out the four, six
and nine were all beverages.

133
00:07:00,430 --> 00:07:03,280
- Mom, you ready to go?
- Almost.

134
00:07:04,120 --> 00:07:06,820
- What are you doing?
- Eating a sandwich.

135
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,410
Then when we go out to
dinner, I'll just order coffee,

136
00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:11,650
and people will feel bad
for me and buy me pudding.

137
00:07:12,950 --> 00:07:14,660
Oh, my God, hold on.

138
00:07:14,660 --> 00:07:17,290
Mm. Please tell me we won
Publishers Clearing House.

139
00:07:17,440 --> 00:07:20,310
Get real, Mom. You have to have
a screen door to win that thing.

140
00:07:21,170 --> 00:07:26,060
- (sighs) Stanford Law School.
- Mm! Open it!

141
00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:28,720
(sighs) I'm scared.

142
00:07:29,090 --> 00:07:32,170
I know it's a long shot, but
there's still that part of me

143
00:07:32,180 --> 00:07:33,760
that thinks that maybe there's a chance.

144
00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:35,290
Oh, I have that little part, too.

145
00:07:35,490 --> 00:07:37,330
It's like how I think that one day

146
00:07:37,350 --> 00:07:39,070
I might win an Olympic gold medal.

147
00:07:39,090 --> 00:07:40,790
You know, something easy like luge.

148
00:07:45,700 --> 00:07:47,270
What's it say?

149
00:07:48,450 --> 00:07:51,140
They "regret to inform" me.

150
00:07:51,610 --> 00:07:53,170
What?

151
00:07:53,970 --> 00:07:56,680
Mom, they don't regret to inform you

152
00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:58,620
that your dreams are coming true.

153
00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:02,040
Oh. Honey, I'm sorry.

154
00:08:02,810 --> 00:08:04,870
I knew the numbers weren't in my favor,

155
00:08:04,890 --> 00:08:07,880
but my personal essay was so sad

156
00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:10,480
I thought I might just be
able to guilt them into it.

157
00:08:11,420 --> 00:08:13,300
My name come up?

158
00:08:15,180 --> 00:08:18,380
You can't write about World War
Two without bringing up Hitler.

159
00:08:21,190 --> 00:08:22,640
It's okay.

160
00:08:22,640 --> 00:08:24,560
I've got other applications out there,

161
00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:27,870
and worst case, there's
always North Valley Law School.

162
00:08:27,890 --> 00:08:29,220
Go, Centipedes.

163
00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:33,420
And I'll still be a lawyer,
which is all that matters.

164
00:08:33,740 --> 00:08:35,700
I'll just hang my diploma in the garage.

165
00:08:35,710 --> 00:08:38,070
- We don't have a garage.
- We don't have a garage,

166
00:08:38,070 --> 00:08:39,570
we don't have a screen
door; what do we have?

167
00:08:39,600 --> 00:08:42,270
- Each other.
- Way to kick me when I'm down.

168
00:08:44,300 --> 00:08:46,300
So, where do you guys want to eat?

169
00:08:46,300 --> 00:08:48,550
I'm willing to give
Christy's place another shot

170
00:08:48,550 --> 00:08:50,420
now that I know how it works.

171
00:08:50,630 --> 00:08:52,950
I went online and found a forum.

172
00:08:53,630 --> 00:08:57,170
Are you out of your mind?
I had to bus my own tray.

173
00:08:57,190 --> 00:08:59,550
My own tray. Tray!

174
00:09:01,850 --> 00:09:03,430
I liked the chili.

175
00:09:03,450 --> 00:09:06,540
It was comforting, just
like Mom never made.

176
00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:10,350
On Monday, they throw in corn bread,

177
00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:11,770
but you have to know to ask.

178
00:09:12,660 --> 00:09:14,440
Marjorie, what'd you think?

179
00:09:14,710 --> 00:09:17,700
Oh, um, I appreciate the fact

180
00:09:17,700 --> 00:09:19,950
that Christy brought a
new idea into our world.

181
00:09:19,950 --> 00:09:22,280
Mm-hmm. Translation: P.U.

182
00:09:22,740 --> 00:09:25,120
Hey, you know what? You
threw us a curveball,

183
00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:27,120
and Christy did her best
to find a compromise.

184
00:09:27,120 --> 00:09:28,590
Was it an epic fail? Yes.

185
00:09:28,590 --> 00:09:30,960
Are we gonna be less open to
her suggestions in the future?

186
00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:32,600
Absolutely, but she tried.

187
00:09:34,600 --> 00:09:38,180
Well, I'm really in the mood
for a Cobb salad from the bistro,

188
00:09:38,180 --> 00:09:41,140
hold the ham, cheese, bacon,
egg, balsamic on the side.

189
00:09:41,300 --> 00:09:44,000
Why don't we do that, and I'll
pay for Bonnie and Christy?

190
00:09:44,020 --> 00:09:46,460
No, no, no, we're not
looking for charity.

191
00:09:47,010 --> 00:09:48,720
Well, that's new.

192
00:09:49,700 --> 00:09:51,310
What?

193
00:09:51,310 --> 00:09:53,360
Never bothered you when I was paying.

194
00:09:53,720 --> 00:09:58,130
Hey, we never asked you to
pay; you just started doing it.

195
00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:01,160
I started doing it because the
check would sit on the table

196
00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:02,620
for an hour if I didn't.

197
00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:06,150
But now I'm done with you
all taking advantage of me.

198
00:10:06,170 --> 00:10:08,230
Hey, get over yourself.
You bought me a couple of sandwiches,

199
00:10:08,260 --> 00:10:10,010
not a Lincoln Town Car.

200
00:10:10,300 --> 00:10:13,470
Oh, I'm sorry my personal
growth doesn't work for you.

201
00:10:13,470 --> 00:10:15,750
Hey, if I had a spare
65 grand laying around,

202
00:10:15,760 --> 00:10:18,010
I'd fly to a spa and
buy some growth, too.

203
00:10:18,010 --> 00:10:20,480
Maybe we ought to just
take a moment and breathe.

204
00:10:20,510 --> 00:10:22,480
Hey, stand down, Grey Gardens.

205
00:10:22,860 --> 00:10:25,080
If Jill wants to grow, we
should tell her the truth.

206
00:10:25,100 --> 00:10:26,300
Well, here's some truth.

207
00:10:26,320 --> 00:10:28,490
I'm only seven years older than you.

208
00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:30,830
Seven hard years, apparently.

209
00:10:31,910 --> 00:10:34,270
I don't like it when we all fight.

210
00:10:34,270 --> 00:10:37,490
- Not now, Wendy.
- You not now!

211
00:10:39,010 --> 00:10:40,700
You know what? I'm skipping the bistro.

212
00:10:40,700 --> 00:10:42,080
I got better things to do than

213
00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:43,700
watch Christy yammering
on about law school,

214
00:10:43,700 --> 00:10:47,200
Wendy crying for no reason,
Marjorie and her lame advice,

215
00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:50,040
and Bonnie trying to
have sex with her pudding.

216
00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:55,070
Well, I'm just gonna say it.

217
00:10:55,100 --> 00:10:57,900
She was nicer when she was fat.

218
00:11:02,545 --> 00:11:05,585
(TV playing quietly)

219
00:11:05,590 --> 00:11:07,160
You know what else pisses me off?

220
00:11:07,180 --> 00:11:09,030
Watching Jaws here.

221
00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:13,190
Jill is proof that money is
wasted on the wrong people.

222
00:11:13,210 --> 00:11:15,100
Look, topless girl wading in the water.

223
00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:17,640
Uh-oh, what could happen?

224
00:11:18,830 --> 00:11:20,800
(sighs) I just don't buy this movie.

225
00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:23,150
The chief of police has that
kind of waterfront property?

226
00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:24,970
It was the '70s.

227
00:11:24,970 --> 00:11:26,670
It was a totally different
real estate market.

228
00:11:26,670 --> 00:11:28,550
You know what? You're ruining it.

229
00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:31,670
I'll tell you what, if Jill
was in charge of that town,

230
00:11:31,680 --> 00:11:33,540
she would've sold that house
right out from under him,

231
00:11:33,540 --> 00:11:34,790
'cause that's what the rich do.

232
00:11:34,800 --> 00:11:37,230
They screw the hardworking
little guy like me.

233
00:11:37,550 --> 00:11:39,870
You're neither one of those.

234
00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:43,270
It's just the injustice of it.

235
00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:45,390
(scoffs) What do you think?

236
00:11:45,390 --> 00:11:47,520
Me? I think this is something

237
00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:50,860
that you and the gals would
have a lot of fun talking about.

238
00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:53,570
I haven't talked to them in four days,

239
00:11:53,590 --> 00:11:55,030
and I don't miss them at all.

240
00:11:55,030 --> 00:11:58,570
Well, your only other option is
to relax and watch Jaws with me.

241
00:11:58,570 --> 00:12:01,580
(sighs) Sure. Fine. Great.

242
00:12:05,430 --> 00:12:07,380
Is this where they came
up with "jump the shark"?

243
00:12:07,380 --> 00:12:08,870
'Cause this is awful.

244
00:12:15,750 --> 00:12:19,570
Ah, North Valley School of Law.

245
00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:23,730
The time has come for us
to settle for each other.

246
00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:39,840
- Hey.
- Hey.

247
00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:43,350
It's been suggested to
me by my loving fiancé

248
00:12:43,350 --> 00:12:45,850
that I might like to get
my "bitter, angry ass"

249
00:12:45,850 --> 00:12:47,850
to a meeting. Care to join?

250
00:12:47,850 --> 00:12:49,770
No, I got work to do.

251
00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:51,140
Okay. Just a heads up,

252
00:12:51,140 --> 00:12:53,270
he's in there watching
Jaws like it's Zookeeper.

253
00:12:53,270 --> 00:12:55,820
At least in that one the animals talk.

254
00:13:01,870 --> 00:13:03,260
- Hey.
- Hey.

255
00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:06,150
- Watching Jaws.
- I heard.

256
00:13:09,100 --> 00:13:10,370
You okay?

257
00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:13,660
I don't want to bother you;
you're watching your movie.

258
00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:15,630
I can pause it. But don't tell your mom.

259
00:13:15,630 --> 00:13:17,330
I wouldn't do it for her.

260
00:13:18,610 --> 00:13:20,020
So what's up?

261
00:13:26,910 --> 00:13:29,070
I didn't get into law school.

262
00:13:31,650 --> 00:13:34,750
- Which one?
- All of them.

263
00:13:36,050 --> 00:13:38,130
This was my last hope.

264
00:13:38,140 --> 00:13:40,100
Aw, Christy, I'm so sorry.

265
00:13:41,310 --> 00:13:45,260
This has been the entire focus
of my life for four years.

266
00:13:46,300 --> 00:13:48,870
It never occurred to me I
wouldn't get in anywhere.

267
00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:52,310
So what do you do now?

268
00:13:53,020 --> 00:13:54,510
I don't know.

269
00:13:55,210 --> 00:13:56,960
What'd your mom say?

270
00:13:58,680 --> 00:14:00,420
I didn't tell her.

271
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,120
I'm too embarrassed.

272
00:14:06,030 --> 00:14:07,810
I want to say the right thing, but...

273
00:14:08,780 --> 00:14:10,510
I don't know what that is.

274
00:14:10,950 --> 00:14:13,820
Do you maybe want me to
call Marjorie or Jill or...

275
00:14:14,380 --> 00:14:16,300
What's that other one's name?

276
00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:21,590
They don't want to hear
about me and school anymore.

277
00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,040
Well, then...

278
00:14:25,400 --> 00:14:26,890
That...

279
00:14:28,460 --> 00:14:31,310
That's a real pickle.

280
00:14:34,270 --> 00:14:37,010
- Pickle?
- Sorry.

281
00:14:37,900 --> 00:14:41,280
It's okay. I'm just gonna go upstairs.

282
00:14:43,630 --> 00:14:45,200
Here's something.

283
00:14:45,200 --> 00:14:48,380
When a door closes, a window opens.

284
00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:50,570
Thanks, all better!

285
00:14:53,180 --> 00:14:56,310
- Hey. Jill. Alcoholic.
- ALL: Hi, Jill.

286
00:14:56,330 --> 00:14:58,380
First of all, I don't know
who came up with having

287
00:14:58,380 --> 00:15:01,390
a candlelight meeting,
but kudos. (chuckles)

288
00:15:01,420 --> 00:15:03,720
I'm sure it's all about
being spiritual and whatnot,

289
00:15:03,720 --> 00:15:05,420
but I appreciate it on a day

290
00:15:05,420 --> 00:15:07,400
when I didn't get to touch up my makeup.

291
00:15:08,430 --> 00:15:12,930
Anyway, I don't usually
come to this meeting,

292
00:15:12,930 --> 00:15:14,870
but I'm avoiding some folks.

293
00:15:17,600 --> 00:15:22,100
Um, this isn't easy to share about...

294
00:15:24,690 --> 00:15:27,660
... but, um, I have a lot of money.

295
00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:29,520
I always have.

296
00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:31,990
And I know that sounds great,

297
00:15:32,150 --> 00:15:35,830
and it is sometimes, like
when you want to buy stuff.

298
00:15:37,420 --> 00:15:39,750
But I've never been able
to trust whether or not

299
00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:41,670
people were in my life
for the right reasons.

300
00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:46,500
Like did my classmates want to
attend my 13th birthday party,

301
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:47,960
or did they just want to go to Maui?

302
00:15:47,970 --> 00:15:49,410
I don't know.

303
00:15:50,540 --> 00:15:52,170
I'll never know.

304
00:15:54,300 --> 00:15:56,690
I thought I finally found some friends

305
00:15:56,690 --> 00:15:59,770
who loved me for who I am,
but the second I stopped

306
00:15:59,780 --> 00:16:02,050
picking up the check,
everything went to hell.

307
00:16:04,730 --> 00:16:07,380
And I-I don't expect
you to feel sorry for me.

308
00:16:08,540 --> 00:16:10,940
But you should 'cause it's hard.

309
00:16:12,150 --> 00:16:17,460
Also, apropos of nothing,
I recently lost 115 pounds.

310
00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:24,350
Hey, Christy, over here!

311
00:16:24,550 --> 00:16:26,380
Oh, hey, Brendan.

312
00:16:26,390 --> 00:16:28,670
Yeah, come on! Come on.
Over here. Come here.

313
00:16:28,670 --> 00:16:30,670
Come on. Sit down. (laughs)

314
00:16:30,670 --> 00:16:33,090
Come here. Come on. Yeah.

315
00:16:33,090 --> 00:16:34,890
Hey, what's your poison?

316
00:16:34,900 --> 00:16:37,600
Uh, sadly, gazpacho.

317
00:16:38,510 --> 00:16:40,900
I really wanted the chili...
Like, I needed the chili...

318
00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:42,210
But they were out.

319
00:16:42,230 --> 00:16:44,650
(laughs): Cool. I'm kind of drunk.

320
00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:46,910
Uh, but we're celebrating.

321
00:16:46,910 --> 00:16:49,040
Uh, Jessica, Tom and
Leo got into UCLA Law,

322
00:16:49,070 --> 00:16:51,490
I got into Berkeley, and
Leslie's going to North Valley.

323
00:16:52,450 --> 00:16:54,080
Hey, what can I say?

324
00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:55,680
It's a school.

325
00:16:57,700 --> 00:16:59,620
Brendan, how did you get into

326
00:16:59,620 --> 00:17:01,890
the most prestigious law
school on the West Coast?

327
00:17:01,910 --> 00:17:04,030
Adderall and luck. (chuckles)

328
00:17:07,290 --> 00:17:09,690
ALL: ... and the wisdom
to know the difference.

329
00:17:09,710 --> 00:17:11,930
Amen.

330
00:17:18,970 --> 00:17:22,700
- Oh. Hello.
- Yeah, it's me. (chuckles)

331
00:17:24,410 --> 00:17:26,140
Looks like we were

332
00:17:26,150 --> 00:17:28,650
avoiding each other at the same meeting.

333
00:17:30,480 --> 00:17:32,260
I heard your share.

334
00:17:32,990 --> 00:17:34,740
It wasn't about you.

335
00:17:35,740 --> 00:17:37,690
Entirely.

336
00:17:38,890 --> 00:17:42,160
I guess one of the good
things about being poor is

337
00:17:42,160 --> 00:17:44,920
I never had to worry about why
people wanted to be my friend.

338
00:17:45,670 --> 00:17:47,640
Except of course when I had blow.

339
00:17:47,670 --> 00:17:50,800
Oh, yeah. Everybody loves
you when you're holding.

340
00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:57,190
I'm sorry about what happened.

341
00:17:58,650 --> 00:18:01,480
And I want you to know
that I'd be your friend

342
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:02,950
whether you had money or not.

343
00:18:04,530 --> 00:18:06,000
And I know you're mine,

344
00:18:06,020 --> 00:18:08,590
'cause let's face it,
I come with zero perks.

345
00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:11,520
Not a one.

346
00:18:19,370 --> 00:18:21,580
(laughs): Yeah.

347
00:18:21,590 --> 00:18:23,510
(slurring): So where did you get in?

348
00:18:24,090 --> 00:18:25,340
I didn't.

349
00:18:25,670 --> 00:18:27,090
Nowhere?

350
00:18:27,290 --> 00:18:30,550
- Nope. You?
- Nothing.

351
00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:34,100
Kicking myself for not
applying to North Valley.

352
00:18:34,100 --> 00:18:36,100
They accept anyone with a pulse.

353
00:18:36,790 --> 00:18:39,080
I am proof that's not true.

354
00:18:39,390 --> 00:18:42,440
No way. You didn't
get into North Valley?!

355
00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:43,950
Keep it down.

356
00:18:44,310 --> 00:18:46,360
(whispers): Sorry.

357
00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:50,900
Well, in that case, I think that
you need this more than I do.

358
00:18:58,420 --> 00:19:00,620
(ringtone playing)

359
00:19:05,550 --> 00:19:07,240
Hello?

360
00:19:08,050 --> 00:19:10,220
Oh, hey, Jill.

361
00:19:13,380 --> 00:19:15,390
I'm glad you called.

362
00:19:16,857 --> 00:19:19,816
♪♪

363
00:19:25,580 --> 00:19:27,130
I just want to make it really clear,

364
00:19:27,140 --> 00:19:29,820
I am buying Jill an iced
tea and a side salad.

365
00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:31,920
The rest of you are on your
own, so order accordingly.

366
00:19:32,730 --> 00:19:34,460
I kind of wanted to pay for Jill.

367
00:19:34,460 --> 00:19:35,490
You do it next time.

368
00:19:35,490 --> 00:19:37,080
But if you want to order
fries for the table,

369
00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:38,080
no one's gonna stop you.

370
00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:40,300
I want to make a toast.

371
00:19:40,460 --> 00:19:42,430
To us.

372
00:19:42,450 --> 00:19:44,990
Not being able to talk to
you guys was really terrible.

373
00:19:45,010 --> 00:19:47,930
Tell me about it. I felt so useless.

374
00:19:48,010 --> 00:19:49,220
I was so lonely.

375
00:19:49,220 --> 00:19:51,690
Apparently, I became "irritating."

376
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,490
And I almost drank. Cheers.

377
00:19:54,510 --> 00:19:55,840
Wait, what?

378
00:19:55,850 --> 00:19:57,810
Sweetie, what happened?

379
00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:00,350
Are you sure you want to know?

380
00:20:00,350 --> 00:20:03,440
It's a "Christy goes
back to school" story.

381
00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:05,620
Of course we want to know.

382
00:20:06,870 --> 00:20:08,660
(sighs)

383
00:20:08,660 --> 00:20:12,080
I didn't get into any of
the law schools I applied to.

384
00:20:12,570 --> 00:20:14,760
- Oh, no.
- Oh, that sucks. I'm sorry.

385
00:20:14,950 --> 00:20:16,750
Why didn't you tell me?

386
00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:19,120
I don't know.

387
00:20:19,120 --> 00:20:21,180
Shock, shame.

388
00:20:21,210 --> 00:20:22,850
Oh, honey.

389
00:20:23,090 --> 00:20:24,700
Um, we're ready to order.

390
00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:26,680
And... could you keep the
coffee coming please,

391
00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:28,380
'cause we're gonna be here for a while.