1
00:00:07,883 --> 00:00:09,657
Hey, guys, check it out.
2
00:00:10,533 --> 00:00:12,347
"Wendy Harris,
Nurse Supervisor."
3
00:00:12,432 --> 00:00:14,097
You got a promotion?
4
00:00:14,182 --> 00:00:16,150
Your last name
is Harris?
5
00:00:16,580 --> 00:00:18,504
I'm so happy, I'm not even
gonna let that bother me.
6
00:00:18,588 --> 00:00:20,838
- Aw, good for you.
- Congratulations!
7
00:00:20,986 --> 00:00:22,885
You work so hard,
you deserve this.
8
00:00:23,668 --> 00:00:25,412
Are you being
sarcastic?
9
00:00:26,385 --> 00:00:27,416
Not at all.
10
00:00:27,501 --> 00:00:29,393
In fact, I would like
to propose a toast
11
00:00:29,478 --> 00:00:31,853
- to our dear friend...
- Please don't ruin this for me.
12
00:00:32,135 --> 00:00:34,189
I'm being sincere.
13
00:00:34,296 --> 00:00:35,343
Are you?
14
00:00:35,428 --> 00:00:36,519
Yes!
15
00:00:36,604 --> 00:00:38,807
I'm genuinely proud of her.
16
00:00:38,954 --> 00:00:41,630
Mom, stop.
You're not fooling us.
17
00:00:42,223 --> 00:00:44,994
Fine.
It was exhausting, anyway.
18
00:00:45,705 --> 00:00:47,768
Well, now this is
officially a celebration.
19
00:00:47,853 --> 00:00:49,729
Order whatever you want.
It's on us.
20
00:00:49,814 --> 00:00:51,206
Thanks, I'm just
gonna have soup.
21
00:00:51,291 --> 00:00:53,347
Soup?
I say go big or go home.
22
00:00:53,432 --> 00:00:54,815
Get the sicken cheeser.
23
00:00:55,275 --> 00:00:57,042
What's a sicken cheeser?
24
00:00:57,478 --> 00:00:58,768
I meant the chicken Caesar.
25
00:00:58,853 --> 00:01:00,353
Damn it, I keep
flipping my words.
26
00:01:00,572 --> 00:01:02,964
I know... you did it twice
during your share today.
27
00:01:03,049 --> 00:01:04,963
You sounded cricken frazy.
28
00:01:05,525 --> 00:01:07,050
I don't know
what's going on.
29
00:01:07,135 --> 00:01:08,814
Maybe it's 'cause
I'm not sleeping.
30
00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:12,744
Is that 'cause you and Andy
are "takin' care of bidness"?
31
00:01:12,946 --> 00:01:15,315
No, it's 'cause no matter
how low I set the thermostat,
32
00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:17,846
I still wake up like
I just walked out of a sauna.
33
00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:20,983
From "takin' care
of bidness"?
34
00:01:22,478 --> 00:01:25,447
Sweetie? Watch
some porn or something.
35
00:01:26,291 --> 00:01:28,338
I do. It doesn't help.
36
00:01:29,368 --> 00:01:31,643
Have you seen your doctor?
Maybe you're in perimenopause.
37
00:01:31,728 --> 00:01:33,938
Maybe you are, bitch.
38
00:01:36,813 --> 00:01:38,979
Sorry. I've also
been irritable.
39
00:01:39,064 --> 00:01:41,112
You know, I usually have nothing
but love for you in my heart,
40
00:01:41,197 --> 00:01:43,292
but calling Wendy
a "B" on her special "D"
41
00:01:43,377 --> 00:01:45,486
is totally "NC."
42
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,002
Not Cool.
43
00:01:49,424 --> 00:01:51,347
You're right.
Let me make it up to you.
44
00:01:51,432 --> 00:01:52,643
After the meeting
this Friday,
45
00:01:52,728 --> 00:01:54,596
I'll take us all
to my club for lunch.
46
00:01:54,885 --> 00:01:56,790
Thanks, Jill.
That's so nice of you.
47
00:01:57,112 --> 00:01:58,377
And for what's it's worth,
48
00:01:58,461 --> 00:02:01,417
I still think going
to your doctor is a good idea.
49
00:02:01,502 --> 00:02:04,728
Well, keep it to yourself,
you toothless old dragon.
50
00:02:06,986 --> 00:02:08,728
I'm... I'm gonna call
my doctor now.
51
00:02:08,813 --> 00:02:10,035
Yeah.
52
00:02:23,355 --> 00:02:25,355
*MOM
Season 07 Episode 16
53
00:02:25,469 --> 00:02:28,564
Title: "Judy Garland and
a Sexy Troll Doll"
54
00:02:31,855 --> 00:02:33,777
I've never been to a
country club before.
55
00:02:33,862 --> 00:02:36,182
I mean, once I ran naked
across a golf course.
56
00:02:36,378 --> 00:02:39,164
It's so much further than
you think it's gonna be.
57
00:02:40,357 --> 00:02:43,406
Hi. My name is Bonnie,
and I look fabulous.
58
00:02:43,491 --> 00:02:46,280
Hi. My name is
Christy, and...
59
00:02:46,426 --> 00:02:47,734
yeah...
60
00:02:49,244 --> 00:02:51,142
Hey, did you guys check out
the menu for the club?
61
00:02:51,226 --> 00:02:52,448
We looked it up online.
62
00:02:52,548 --> 00:02:54,360
Lot of shellfish.
63
00:02:54,939 --> 00:02:56,205
You know that
ribeye for two?
64
00:02:56,289 --> 00:02:58,946
If I get it for myself,
would you guys judge me?
65
00:03:00,626 --> 00:03:03,189
Well, I hope you're happy.
I just went to my doctor,
66
00:03:03,274 --> 00:03:05,036
and it turns out
I am in peri-meni-pause.
67
00:03:05,166 --> 00:03:06,605
Peri-meno-pause.
68
00:03:06,690 --> 00:03:09,282
Do not correct a woman
in peri-meni-pause.
69
00:03:10,189 --> 00:03:11,635
Oh, uh, look, honey,
we all go through it.
70
00:03:11,719 --> 00:03:13,037
It's natural.
71
00:03:13,262 --> 00:03:14,822
Since when do I care
about natural?
72
00:03:15,014 --> 00:03:16,805
I have worked so hard
to stay sober
73
00:03:16,915 --> 00:03:19,050
so that I can be in control
of what I say and what I do
74
00:03:19,134 --> 00:03:20,751
and what I throw
across the room.
75
00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:22,890
And now, just when I'm feeling
like I got it all together,
76
00:03:22,974 --> 00:03:26,579
my hormones are like, "Screw
you! I'm your higher power now!"
77
00:03:26,791 --> 00:03:28,584
I'm not sure if I went
through perimenopause.
78
00:03:28,669 --> 00:03:29,782
I was in prison
at the time.
79
00:03:29,867 --> 00:03:32,056
Everyone was hot, cranky
and throwin' stuff.
80
00:03:32,141 --> 00:03:34,886
And by "stuff,"
I mean people.
81
00:03:35,839 --> 00:03:37,956
The doctor said
this could last a decade.
82
00:03:38,081 --> 00:03:39,552
A decade!
83
00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:41,347
We're moving.
84
00:03:41,839 --> 00:03:44,465
Well, it's usually
much shorter than that.
85
00:03:44,550 --> 00:03:47,560
I had a few mild symptoms
and then boom, over.
86
00:03:47,753 --> 00:03:50,781
And I've really felt like I
was in my power ever since.
87
00:03:50,979 --> 00:03:52,391
Plus, no more condoms.
88
00:03:52,475 --> 00:03:54,363
Oh, good.
Remind me that my baby-maker's
89
00:03:54,448 --> 00:03:55,449
going out of business.
90
00:03:55,534 --> 00:03:56,700
Right when I finally have a guy
91
00:03:56,784 --> 00:03:58,620
I might actually want
to make a baby with.
92
00:03:58,708 --> 00:04:00,887
Sorry, could you repeat
what you just said?
93
00:04:00,972 --> 00:04:03,975
'Cause I went deaf
when Marjorie said "condoms."
94
00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:10,590
Are you sure we can't sit down,
maybe get started
95
00:04:10,675 --> 00:04:12,800
with a little pickle plate
or something?
96
00:04:13,011 --> 00:04:15,667
As I told you before,
I can't seat your party
97
00:04:15,752 --> 00:04:17,495
until the club member arrives.
98
00:04:17,628 --> 00:04:19,375
And as I told you before,
99
00:04:19,558 --> 00:04:22,375
okay, we'll be right over there.
100
00:04:24,534 --> 00:04:26,164
Christy, you've been
kind of quiet.
101
00:04:26,248 --> 00:04:27,598
Are you okay?
102
00:04:27,683 --> 00:04:28,862
I'm fine.
103
00:04:29,167 --> 00:04:30,768
I just got some bad news.
104
00:04:30,979 --> 00:04:32,301
I don't want to make it
about me.
105
00:04:32,385 --> 00:04:34,292
It's Wendy's day. Wait for it.
106
00:04:34,377 --> 00:04:36,565
It's just, I didn't get picked
for moot court.
107
00:04:36,650 --> 00:04:38,612
What's that? They make believe
they're lawyers.
108
00:04:38,697 --> 00:04:41,006
How am I ever gonna be taken
seriously as a lawyer
109
00:04:41,091 --> 00:04:42,215
if I can't even
make moot court
110
00:04:42,299 --> 00:04:44,729
at a law school
next to a car wash?
111
00:04:45,067 --> 00:04:46,636
I don't know where
I went wrong.
112
00:04:46,721 --> 00:04:49,831
I put my name in early,
I sucked up to the professors,
113
00:04:49,948 --> 00:04:52,145
and I can see you
in the mirror!
114
00:04:52,230 --> 00:04:54,331
And I see you, too.
Hi.
115
00:04:57,354 --> 00:04:59,110
It's Jill.
116
00:04:59,869 --> 00:05:01,154
She's not coming.
117
00:05:01,239 --> 00:05:02,722
- Seriously?
- What?! - Aw.
118
00:05:02,806 --> 00:05:04,371
She is, and I quote,
119
00:05:04,456 --> 00:05:07,597
"going home to have Andy
put a baby in it."
120
00:05:07,737 --> 00:05:09,526
What about
our lunch?
121
00:05:10,228 --> 00:05:12,122
She says she'll
make it up to you.
122
00:05:12,417 --> 00:05:14,729
Well, now you've already
seen me in this dress.
123
00:05:14,847 --> 00:05:16,823
It's my first time
wearing coral.
124
00:05:17,109 --> 00:05:18,589
Hang on.
125
00:05:19,721 --> 00:05:21,044
Hello, sir.
126
00:05:21,323 --> 00:05:24,611
Would you like to have lunch
with five beautiful women?
127
00:05:25,381 --> 00:05:27,761
There won't be
a big bar bill!
128
00:05:34,142 --> 00:05:35,233
Hi.
129
00:05:35,317 --> 00:05:36,894
Hi. What are you
doing home?
130
00:05:36,979 --> 00:05:38,707
I thought you were having
a big lunch for Christy.
131
00:05:38,791 --> 00:05:40,878
- Wendy.
- They all kind of blend.
132
00:05:41,792 --> 00:05:43,582
By the way,
thanks for always having
133
00:05:43,667 --> 00:05:45,073
bread and ham
in your house.
134
00:05:45,158 --> 00:05:47,381
- Oh, it's 'cause I love you.
- Oh.
135
00:05:48,347 --> 00:05:49,597
You know,
if you really love me,
136
00:05:49,682 --> 00:05:50,777
you could spring
for some Miracle Whip.
137
00:05:50,861 --> 00:05:54,259
I know. Girls hate it,
but guys love it.
138
00:05:54,434 --> 00:05:57,504
Sure. And in return,
can we make a baby?
139
00:05:57,589 --> 00:06:00,848
I know. Guys hate it,
but girls love it.
140
00:06:01,537 --> 00:06:02,678
Wha... uh...
141
00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:05,813
What?
142
00:06:06,078 --> 00:06:07,496
Here's the thing.
143
00:06:07,596 --> 00:06:09,652
- What?
- Well...
144
00:06:10,847 --> 00:06:13,543
it's just that we have been
together for almost a year now,
145
00:06:13,628 --> 00:06:17,004
and I'm not getting any younger,
so, you know... baby.
146
00:06:19,542 --> 00:06:21,715
I'm gonna sit down
for a second.
147
00:06:23,053 --> 00:06:25,479
- Is that a no?
- No, you know, it's just
148
00:06:25,564 --> 00:06:27,763
I-I came here to make
lunch... had a little bit
149
00:06:27,848 --> 00:06:29,075
of an issue with
the sandwich spread.
150
00:06:29,159 --> 00:06:30,946
That was gonna be my...
151
00:06:31,188 --> 00:06:33,809
big dilemma o' the day.
152
00:06:34,032 --> 00:06:36,723
Well, now it's: should we
or shouldn't we make a person.
153
00:06:36,808 --> 00:06:38,598
What do you think?
154
00:06:39,059 --> 00:06:40,673
Jill, I, um...
155
00:06:40,837 --> 00:06:43,927
I'm sorry, I-I didn't see
this coming on so quick.
156
00:06:45,229 --> 00:06:46,748
You know how
on our first date,
157
00:06:46,856 --> 00:06:50,511
you said, "What are you,
like, 35?" and I just smiled?
158
00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:54,871
I'm 40.
159
00:06:55,342 --> 00:06:57,488
And 18 months.
160
00:06:59,104 --> 00:07:00,674
Okay.
161
00:07:01,612 --> 00:07:03,652
But I think
I'd be a great mom.
162
00:07:03,737 --> 00:07:05,655
And I know
ou'd be a great dad.
163
00:07:05,774 --> 00:07:07,082
I mean, you're so strong.
164
00:07:07,167 --> 00:07:09,517
Just think how high
you could toss a baby.
165
00:07:10,256 --> 00:07:11,956
I would never toss a baby.
166
00:07:12,172 --> 00:07:14,237
Look at you.
You passed the test!
167
00:07:14,322 --> 00:07:15,338
Let's get to breedin'.
168
00:07:15,423 --> 00:07:16,870
Okay, uh, listen...
169
00:07:18,155 --> 00:07:22,065
babe, I-I get that
your clock is ticking,
170
00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:23,850
but I'm-I'm just...
171
00:07:26,104 --> 00:07:27,845
I'm not sure that we're...
172
00:07:28,417 --> 00:07:29,822
there yet.
173
00:07:31,258 --> 00:07:32,651
Oh.
174
00:07:34,658 --> 00:07:36,064
You're right.
175
00:07:36,283 --> 00:07:38,110
You're right.
Forget I brought it up.
176
00:07:45,816 --> 00:07:47,972
That's not you, is it?
177
00:07:55,482 --> 00:07:56,761
What?
178
00:07:57,376 --> 00:07:59,604
Nothing. I just love
179
00:07:59,689 --> 00:08:01,620
the one night a week
the bar is closed
180
00:08:01,729 --> 00:08:03,579
and we get to go to bed
at the same time.
181
00:08:03,664 --> 00:08:04,970
Me, too. I get to read a little.
182
00:08:05,055 --> 00:08:08,173
Oh, wait, was that code? 'Cause
if it's code, just say so.
183
00:08:08,337 --> 00:08:09,868
No, no code.
184
00:08:10,999 --> 00:08:12,181
Just as well.
185
00:08:12,266 --> 00:08:14,096
This book is about
to unlock the mystery
186
00:08:14,181 --> 00:08:15,790
of compound interest
for me.
187
00:08:15,875 --> 00:08:17,229
Can you rub
some lotion on my back?
188
00:08:17,313 --> 00:08:19,243
Uh, sure. Wait, is this code?
189
00:08:19,462 --> 00:08:21,464
Nothing is code.
Oh, okay.
190
00:08:24,009 --> 00:08:26,240
Do you ever wonder what
it would be like if we'd a kid?
191
00:08:27,503 --> 00:08:29,384
We'd be in The
Guinness Book of World Records,
192
00:08:29,469 --> 00:08:31,952
so that'd be sweet.
193
00:08:32,373 --> 00:08:35,336
I mean if we'd met during
our childbearing years.
194
00:08:35,537 --> 00:08:37,584
Yeah, I guess
it's crossed my mind.
195
00:08:37,737 --> 00:08:39,335
We'd be the coolest parents.
196
00:08:39,420 --> 00:08:41,819
And as a result,
our kid would be spectacular.
197
00:08:42,209 --> 00:08:44,491
He'd probably be tall,
which is great.
198
00:08:44,614 --> 00:08:46,406
"He." I like that.
199
00:08:46,491 --> 00:08:47,967
I already ruined a she.
200
00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:49,484
He'd be funny.
201
00:08:49,750 --> 00:08:51,189
- He'd be outgoing.
- Mm.
202
00:08:51,748 --> 00:08:54,327
He'd have the hair
of a sexy Troll doll.
203
00:08:55,693 --> 00:08:58,264
And I guess he'd say what he
thinks whenever he felt like it
204
00:08:58,356 --> 00:09:00,311
no matter how hurtful.
205
00:09:01,141 --> 00:09:03,016
And I guess he'd also
be super sensitive.
206
00:09:03,100 --> 00:09:06,205
Which is better than him
being super insensitive.
207
00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:08,368
Well, he'd also be
passive-aggressive.
208
00:09:08,453 --> 00:09:11,190
And likely have
addiction issues.
209
00:09:11,682 --> 00:09:14,200
And be in a wheelchair.
210
00:09:14,285 --> 00:09:17,013
Yeah, snowboarding off
a cliff isn't hereditary.
211
00:09:17,098 --> 00:09:19,278
Is always needing
to feel right hereditary?
212
00:09:19,363 --> 00:09:20,932
If it is,
our kid is doomed.
213
00:09:21,017 --> 00:09:23,060
Yeah, I'm starting
to not like our son.
214
00:09:23,145 --> 00:09:25,542
Yeah, he does sound
like a bit of a douche.
215
00:09:25,731 --> 00:09:28,084
But I'll tell you one thing:
with you as a father,
216
00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:29,695
he'd be gorgeous.
217
00:09:30,225 --> 00:09:31,640
Thanks.
218
00:09:32,676 --> 00:09:34,289
What are you doing?
That was code.
219
00:09:34,374 --> 00:09:35,600
Wha...? Oh.
220
00:09:40,658 --> 00:09:41,797
How was school?
221
00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:42,929
Did you ask your professor
222
00:09:43,014 --> 00:09:44,886
why you didn't get
chosen for mute court?
223
00:09:45,651 --> 00:09:48,033
Mootcourt, and I don't
want to talk about it.
224
00:09:48,118 --> 00:09:49,644
- Okay.
- Really?
225
00:09:49,729 --> 00:09:50,864
You're walking away?
226
00:09:51,025 --> 00:09:53,367
That was clearly
a cry for help.
227
00:09:55,413 --> 00:09:57,011
So, you-you want
to talk about it?
228
00:09:57,103 --> 00:09:58,937
Oh, my God, no.
229
00:10:01,444 --> 00:10:03,148
Exciting news, people.
230
00:10:03,271 --> 00:10:04,754
Andy put a baby in it?
231
00:10:04,839 --> 00:10:07,061
Not yet and maybe not soon
and maybe not ever,
232
00:10:07,146 --> 00:10:09,462
so,
I'm gonna freeze my eggs.
233
00:10:09,547 --> 00:10:11,984
Good for you, taking matters
into your own hands.
234
00:10:12,069 --> 00:10:13,195
Exactly.
235
00:10:13,344 --> 00:10:15,172
Freezing eggs
is like freezing time.
236
00:10:15,257 --> 00:10:17,828
I can thaw them out,
hit them with a dash of sperm
237
00:10:17,913 --> 00:10:19,867
and use them
whenever I'm ready.
238
00:10:21,328 --> 00:10:23,015
Isn't that
really expensive?
239
00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:24,140
Yeah, well,
I thought so, too,
240
00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:26,444
but it's only $30,000.
241
00:10:29,078 --> 00:10:30,972
I've already been
to the doctor.
242
00:10:31,057 --> 00:10:33,235
I have to take a series
of these fertility shots
243
00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:34,273
to get me all eggy,
244
00:10:34,358 --> 00:10:36,413
but I need a partner
to help me with the injections.
245
00:10:36,498 --> 00:10:38,328
So, Christy,
246
00:10:38,412 --> 00:10:39,939
would you be my partner?
247
00:10:40,209 --> 00:10:41,365
I'd love to.
248
00:10:41,450 --> 00:10:42,671
Great!
249
00:10:42,756 --> 00:10:45,022
Doctor said you should practice
on a grapefruit.
250
00:10:45,107 --> 00:10:45,937
So here you go.
251
00:10:46,022 --> 00:10:47,084
Yay!
252
00:10:47,239 --> 00:10:49,013
Homework that's easy!
253
00:10:49,592 --> 00:10:51,959
Isn't this something
your boyfriend should do?
254
00:10:52,154 --> 00:10:53,755
No, I decided
not to tell him.
255
00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:56,498
I don't want him to think
I'm obsessed with having a child.
256
00:10:56,583 --> 00:10:58,654
What do you think
of the name Pearl?
257
00:11:00,739 --> 00:11:01,966
Hate.
258
00:11:02,051 --> 00:11:04,193
Second grade, Pearl Fleming
cut off my pigtail.
259
00:11:04,332 --> 00:11:07,115
And you did nothing
to deserve that?
260
00:11:08,551 --> 00:11:09,934
Fine. Name your baby
Pearl,
261
00:11:10,019 --> 00:11:12,162
but we will have
a complicated relationship.
262
00:11:13,896 --> 00:11:15,013
Thanks for doing this.
263
00:11:15,098 --> 00:11:16,494
What about Wendy?
She's a nurse.
264
00:11:16,579 --> 00:11:18,417
Mom, I finally got picked
for something.
265
00:11:18,502 --> 00:11:20,021
Let me have this.
266
00:11:26,389 --> 00:11:27,915
- Ready?
- Mm.
267
00:11:28,077 --> 00:11:29,431
Did you practice?
268
00:11:29,516 --> 00:11:31,793
Every grapefruit in our house
is ready to give birth.
269
00:11:31,878 --> 00:11:32,879
Okay.
270
00:11:33,982 --> 00:11:35,073
What's that?
271
00:11:35,423 --> 00:11:36,470
An alcohol wipe.
272
00:11:36,556 --> 00:11:37,604
Ooh, alcohol.
273
00:11:37,689 --> 00:11:38,954
Should we call Marjorie?
274
00:11:39,039 --> 00:11:41,204
Just don't put it in
a glass with an olive,
275
00:11:41,289 --> 00:11:42,837
and we'll be fine.
276
00:11:45,943 --> 00:11:47,056
What?
277
00:11:47,165 --> 00:11:49,036
I have an intense fear
of needles.
278
00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:50,783
Which is why I became
an alcoholic,
279
00:11:50,868 --> 00:11:53,767
even though heroin
has less calories.
280
00:11:53,991 --> 00:11:55,170
Just breathe.
281
00:11:56,266 --> 00:11:59,267
Now, I'm supposed to inject you
two inches under your navel
282
00:11:59,352 --> 00:12:01,760
by pinching a small
section of your fat.
283
00:12:01,845 --> 00:12:02,960
'Kay.
284
00:12:04,228 --> 00:12:06,270
All right, stop flexing.
285
00:12:06,470 --> 00:12:07,750
Sorry.
286
00:12:09,102 --> 00:12:11,194
There's not much
to work with here.
287
00:12:11,359 --> 00:12:13,451
I will pass that compliment on
to my trainers,
288
00:12:13,535 --> 00:12:15,453
Alfonso and Katya.
289
00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:16,853
Ooh!
290
00:12:16,938 --> 00:12:18,673
Calm down.
Focus on the fact
291
00:12:18,802 --> 00:12:20,291
that you're lucky enough
to be able to do this,
292
00:12:20,375 --> 00:12:21,380
'cause not everyone can.
293
00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:22,635
Wait a minute.
294
00:12:22,720 --> 00:12:24,314
Do you want to do this?
295
00:12:24,546 --> 00:12:26,377
Me?
296
00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:27,770
I don't know.
297
00:12:27,854 --> 00:12:28,869
Doesn't matter.
298
00:12:28,954 --> 00:12:30,212
I could never afford it.
299
00:12:30,297 --> 00:12:31,817
Christy, you're
like a sister to me.
300
00:12:31,902 --> 00:12:34,078
If you want to freeze your eggs,
I'll pay for it.
301
00:12:35,318 --> 00:12:36,801
You would?
302
00:12:37,361 --> 00:12:39,400
Yeah, we could go
through this together.
303
00:12:41,073 --> 00:12:43,113
You would give me $30,000?
304
00:12:43,214 --> 00:12:44,949
Well, I wouldn't give it to you,
305
00:12:45,034 --> 00:12:46,952
because of, you know,
your gambling history,
306
00:12:47,037 --> 00:12:49,173
but I would give it
to the egg people.
307
00:12:49,927 --> 00:12:52,482
That's so incredibly
generous.
308
00:12:52,749 --> 00:12:53,970
Okay.
309
00:12:54,255 --> 00:12:55,581
Give me the shot.
310
00:12:55,849 --> 00:12:56,973
I already did.
311
00:12:57,057 --> 00:12:58,163
When you offered
me the money,
312
00:12:58,247 --> 00:13:00,482
I flinched and
it slid right in.
313
00:13:01,100 --> 00:13:02,104
Wow.
314
00:13:02,236 --> 00:13:03,599
Well, that didn't hurt at all.
315
00:13:03,788 --> 00:13:05,663
I hope the baby
pops out that easy.
316
00:13:06,060 --> 00:13:08,693
Oh, don't worry.
They do.
317
00:13:11,403 --> 00:13:13,694
This grilled cheese
is delicious.
318
00:13:13,779 --> 00:13:16,896
I went crazy and mixed
cheddar with American.
319
00:13:17,763 --> 00:13:18,935
Two kinds of cheese.
320
00:13:19,020 --> 00:13:21,162
Did you run into some money
I didn't know about?
321
00:13:24,270 --> 00:13:26,130
I am gonna be
up all night.
322
00:13:26,215 --> 00:13:27,240
What's wrong?
323
00:13:27,325 --> 00:13:29,224
Jill said
if I wanted to freeze my eggs,
324
00:13:29,353 --> 00:13:30,849
she'd pay for it.
325
00:13:31,302 --> 00:13:33,427
Y-You want
to freeze your eggs?
326
00:13:33,512 --> 00:13:34,558
I don't know.
327
00:13:34,643 --> 00:13:36,195
I mean,
it's kind of invasive.
328
00:13:36,349 --> 00:13:37,990
They put a needle
in your vagina.
329
00:13:38,075 --> 00:13:39,166
Okay.
330
00:13:39,289 --> 00:13:41,161
I'm gonna take Gus
for a walk.
331
00:13:41,617 --> 00:13:42,880
Come on!
332
00:13:43,779 --> 00:13:45,490
Would you want
to have another kid?
333
00:13:46,279 --> 00:13:49,052
I wouldn't mind a chance
to do it sober.
334
00:13:49,410 --> 00:13:51,894
Remembering Christmas concerts,
335
00:13:52,025 --> 00:13:54,201
showing up for soccer games,
336
00:13:54,456 --> 00:13:56,662
keeping my clothes on
in the ball pit
337
00:13:56,747 --> 00:13:58,701
at Chuck E. Cheese.
338
00:13:59,193 --> 00:14:02,029
Hey, anyone who doesn't think
about getting naked
339
00:14:02,114 --> 00:14:04,552
in one of those things
is lying to themselves.
340
00:14:04,637 --> 00:14:06,206
- Thank you.
- Mm.
341
00:14:06,723 --> 00:14:08,341
I guess if I'm
gonna harvest my eggs,
342
00:14:08,426 --> 00:14:09,583
I should do it now.
343
00:14:09,668 --> 00:14:12,341
My period has been
extremely irregular lately.
344
00:14:12,426 --> 00:14:13,546
Hang on, please!
345
00:14:13,631 --> 00:14:15,497
Just looking
for the leash!
346
00:14:15,944 --> 00:14:17,326
And when my period
does come,
347
00:14:17,411 --> 00:14:19,443
the flow is like
Niagara Falls!
348
00:14:19,540 --> 00:14:20,841
Just whoosh!
349
00:14:20,926 --> 00:14:21,969
I don't need Gus!
350
00:14:22,054 --> 00:14:23,537
I'm just
leaving!
351
00:14:25,189 --> 00:14:26,502
Hmm?
352
00:14:27,419 --> 00:14:28,945
Do you think
it's a terrible idea?
353
00:14:29,783 --> 00:14:31,175
If you want to do it,
354
00:14:31,260 --> 00:14:32,481
I'm all in.
355
00:14:33,234 --> 00:14:34,392
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
356
00:14:34,648 --> 00:14:35,799
Just put your eggs on ice.
357
00:14:35,884 --> 00:14:37,421
And then, after law school,
we'll get Jill
358
00:14:37,505 --> 00:14:38,690
to buy you some Olympic sperm,
359
00:14:38,774 --> 00:14:40,431
and we'll raise a super baby.
360
00:14:40,771 --> 00:14:42,036
Okay.
361
00:14:42,121 --> 00:14:43,720
Okay, let's do this.
362
00:14:46,026 --> 00:14:48,684
But I wouldn't want to do it
right after law school,
363
00:14:48,798 --> 00:14:50,394
'cause, you know,
I'll want to give myself
364
00:14:50,478 --> 00:14:52,167
a couple years
to get established.
365
00:14:52,259 --> 00:14:53,394
So in five years?
366
00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:55,486
I might want to try
and go for partner,
367
00:14:55,587 --> 00:14:56,650
so I may need nine.
368
00:14:56,735 --> 00:14:58,392
- Okay, great.
- So...
369
00:14:58,712 --> 00:15:01,805
when the kid graduates
high school, you'll be, uh...
370
00:15:01,897 --> 00:15:03,598
...68.
371
00:15:03,691 --> 00:15:05,826
And if my math is correct,
I'll be...
372
00:15:06,369 --> 00:15:08,673
...67.
373
00:15:11,102 --> 00:15:13,064
Mm, but are you sure?
374
00:15:13,149 --> 00:15:16,068
Because it sounds like
you don't want to have a baby...
375
00:15:16,153 --> 00:15:17,462
You want to have a career.
376
00:15:18,314 --> 00:15:20,869
Well, then why am I considering
having a baby?
377
00:15:20,954 --> 00:15:22,610
Because you didn't get
into moot court.
378
00:15:22,837 --> 00:15:24,072
That's ridiculous.
379
00:15:24,157 --> 00:15:25,744
Wait for it.
380
00:15:26,708 --> 00:15:28,962
Oh. Damn,
there's no one here.
381
00:15:29,819 --> 00:15:31,084
Oh, my God.
382
00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:32,999
I was totally
about to have a baby
383
00:15:33,084 --> 00:15:34,236
because I didn't get a part
384
00:15:34,336 --> 00:15:37,499
in what is basically
the law school play.
385
00:15:37,947 --> 00:15:41,374
Hey, I had you because I needed
a ride home from a flea market.
386
00:15:45,093 --> 00:15:46,585
Natalie!
387
00:15:46,879 --> 00:15:48,703
In here!
388
00:15:50,412 --> 00:15:51,734
Do you like this dress?
389
00:15:51,819 --> 00:15:52,857
Tell me the truth.
390
00:15:52,942 --> 00:15:54,031
I love it.
391
00:15:54,116 --> 00:15:54,973
Are you sure?
392
00:15:55,058 --> 00:15:56,235
'Cause I'm so hopped up
on hormones,
393
00:15:56,319 --> 00:15:58,280
I don't know
who I am anymore.
394
00:15:58,462 --> 00:16:00,295
It's more flowers than usual.
395
00:16:00,491 --> 00:16:01,951
You hate it.
396
00:16:02,036 --> 00:16:04,584
I look like a funeral wreath
for a drag queen.
397
00:16:05,504 --> 00:16:08,292
No, no, no, no, no, no.
You really pull it off.
398
00:16:08,377 --> 00:16:10,233
I think so.
399
00:16:11,109 --> 00:16:13,201
How many more of these shots
are you getting?
400
00:16:13,286 --> 00:16:14,991
Oh, only two to go.
401
00:16:15,076 --> 00:16:16,469
Thank God.
402
00:16:18,866 --> 00:16:20,709
Wow! Look at you.
403
00:16:20,794 --> 00:16:22,625
What's that supposed to mean?
404
00:16:23,069 --> 00:16:24,699
Good luck.
405
00:16:26,761 --> 00:16:28,037
You all right?
406
00:16:28,122 --> 00:16:29,241
Yeah. Why?
407
00:16:29,742 --> 00:16:32,226
Well, this week
has been a little...
408
00:16:32,357 --> 00:16:34,803
"I'm dating Judy Garland."
409
00:16:35,980 --> 00:16:38,200
Hey, you made me watch
that movie.
410
00:16:39,362 --> 00:16:41,100
You think I'm crazy?
411
00:16:42,358 --> 00:16:43,506
No.
412
00:16:43,591 --> 00:16:45,647
No. No, if anything,
413
00:16:45,732 --> 00:16:47,780
I think that,
not unlike Ms. Garland,
414
00:16:47,865 --> 00:16:49,311
you're-you're
under a lot of stress
415
00:16:49,396 --> 00:16:52,170
that the-the world
doesn't know about.
416
00:16:53,905 --> 00:16:57,996
Man, that movie
really had an impact on me.
417
00:16:58,830 --> 00:17:00,441
I'm freezing my eggs.
418
00:17:01,998 --> 00:17:03,264
What?
419
00:17:03,368 --> 00:17:04,590
I'm jammed full of hormones,
420
00:17:04,675 --> 00:17:06,810
and I'm out
of my ever-lovin' mind.
421
00:17:06,972 --> 00:17:08,150
Oh.
422
00:17:08,350 --> 00:17:10,545
Honey, why would you keep that
a secret?
423
00:17:11,272 --> 00:17:13,016
'Cause I thought if I told you,
424
00:17:13,295 --> 00:17:15,272
you'd feel like I was trying
to push a kid on you,
425
00:17:15,357 --> 00:17:18,944
you'd dump me and then I'd be
sitting here with no boyfriend,
426
00:17:19,029 --> 00:17:22,206
no baby and a fridge
full of Miracle Whip.
427
00:17:24,010 --> 00:17:25,337
Okay. Um...
428
00:17:25,865 --> 00:17:29,233
I'm gonna have to be extremely
careful with what I say here.
429
00:17:29,820 --> 00:17:31,564
I love you.
430
00:17:32,071 --> 00:17:33,436
Yeah, that's good.
431
00:17:33,549 --> 00:17:35,206
Um...
432
00:17:35,408 --> 00:17:37,974
I was just... surprised.
433
00:17:38,084 --> 00:17:40,443
You know,
the-the baby stuff just...
434
00:17:40,993 --> 00:17:42,215
caught me
a little off guard.
435
00:17:42,331 --> 00:17:44,013
I know. I'm so sorry.
436
00:17:44,098 --> 00:17:45,318
No, it's okay.
437
00:17:45,403 --> 00:17:47,278
I see that this
is huge for you.
438
00:17:47,584 --> 00:17:48,881
You do?
439
00:17:49,152 --> 00:17:51,169
'Cause I was trying
to hide it.
440
00:17:51,976 --> 00:17:54,771
And you were doing
a masterful job.
441
00:17:55,169 --> 00:17:56,122
Now, look,
442
00:17:56,207 --> 00:17:57,951
I can admit that I'm...
443
00:17:58,184 --> 00:17:59,754
probably not ready
to be a father.
444
00:17:59,839 --> 00:18:02,976
But... when I picture
my future,
445
00:18:03,637 --> 00:18:05,076
you're in it.
446
00:18:07,376 --> 00:18:09,727
I just want
to take our time,
447
00:18:09,888 --> 00:18:11,630
make sure
that we get it right.
448
00:18:13,638 --> 00:18:15,810
So you're fine with this
whole freezing eggs thing?
449
00:18:15,895 --> 00:18:17,552
Yeah, I think
it's a great idea.
450
00:18:18,192 --> 00:18:19,334
I love you.
451
00:18:25,902 --> 00:18:28,459
I don't have
to freeze anything, do I?
452
00:18:30,397 --> 00:18:31,521
No.
453
00:18:31,916 --> 00:18:34,312
Your stuff has the shelf life
of a Twinkie.Oh.
454
00:18:34,497 --> 00:18:35,709
Great.
455
00:18:46,785 --> 00:18:47,789
You know,
456
00:18:47,849 --> 00:18:48,940
when I heard "sugar scrub,"
457
00:18:49,025 --> 00:18:50,376
I thought it was crazy.
458
00:18:50,460 --> 00:18:52,291
But I am clean,
I am relaxed
459
00:18:52,375 --> 00:18:55,710
and I taste
like an Abba-Zaba bar.
460
00:18:58,084 --> 00:19:02,013
Jill, this is a great way
to celebrate Wendy's promotion.
461
00:19:02,187 --> 00:19:03,955
Eh, too bad we all thought
462
00:19:04,039 --> 00:19:06,782
it was somebody else's job
to invite her.
463
00:19:07,422 --> 00:19:09,180
I'll make it up to her.
464
00:19:09,265 --> 00:19:11,857
I would like to be a part
of whatever that is.
465
00:19:11,972 --> 00:19:13,889
I'm just gonna say two words.
466
00:19:13,974 --> 00:19:15,792
Disney cruise.
467
00:19:19,591 --> 00:19:21,155
It's my fertility doctor.
468
00:19:24,577 --> 00:19:25,970
Hi, Dr. Dubois.
469
00:19:27,256 --> 00:19:28,704
Uh-huh.
470
00:19:28,798 --> 00:19:30,001
Okay.
471
00:19:30,085 --> 00:19:31,786
Thanks for letting me know.
472
00:19:31,954 --> 00:19:33,376
Bye-bye.
473
00:19:33,461 --> 00:19:34,825
So?
474
00:19:34,910 --> 00:19:36,349
What's our egg count?
475
00:19:36,508 --> 00:19:37,624
Zero.
476
00:19:37,709 --> 00:19:39,156
What?
477
00:19:40,327 --> 00:19:42,186
None of them
were viable.
478
00:19:43,468 --> 00:19:44,794
Oh.
479
00:19:44,981 --> 00:19:46,537
Jill, I'm sorry.
480
00:19:46,768 --> 00:19:49,163
"Are you okay?" is a
stupid question, but...
481
00:19:49,466 --> 00:19:50,859
are you?
482
00:19:51,911 --> 00:19:53,373
I don't know.
483
00:19:53,892 --> 00:19:55,851
I mean, I have come
at this baby thing
484
00:19:55,936 --> 00:19:56,853
from so many
different angles,
485
00:19:56,938 --> 00:19:59,204
and it's just
not happening.
486
00:19:59,419 --> 00:20:01,421
But you can try again.
487
00:20:01,856 --> 00:20:03,359
Maybe.
488
00:20:05,729 --> 00:20:07,437
You want to go home?
489
00:20:10,147 --> 00:20:11,906
No.
490
00:20:12,647 --> 00:20:14,914
I just want
to be with my friends.
491
00:20:25,118 --> 00:20:26,494
Captioning sponsored by
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492
00:20:26,579 --> 00:20:28,005
and WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
493
00:20:28,114 --> 00:20:30,363
Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
494
00:20:30,448 --> 00:20:32,888
Sync corrections by srjanapala