1 00:00:04,305 --> 00:00:06,992 Did we just wake up at the exact same time? 2 00:00:07,080 --> 00:00:08,726 I think we did. 3 00:00:09,085 --> 00:00:10,734 We are totally in sync, 4 00:00:10,843 --> 00:00:12,007 even when we're asleep. 5 00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:13,591 We're cuter than otters. 6 00:00:15,173 --> 00:00:17,598 And I thought marriage was gonna be terrible. 7 00:00:17,685 --> 00:00:19,934 You don't need to say that every morning. 8 00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:24,108 Well, I love that I can share my every thought with you. 9 00:00:24,196 --> 00:00:25,205 You can. 10 00:00:25,292 --> 00:00:27,071 But maybe sometimes you shouldn't. 11 00:00:27,242 --> 00:00:28,594 For instance, the other day, 12 00:00:28,682 --> 00:00:31,197 when you were telling me that my arms were getting flabby. 13 00:00:31,285 --> 00:00:32,374 Oh. I just said that 'cause 14 00:00:32,462 --> 00:00:33,982 I didn't want to push you up that hill. 15 00:00:34,462 --> 00:00:37,321 So you weren't being mean, you were being lazy. 16 00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:38,935 Can't I be both? 17 00:00:39,140 --> 00:00:40,266 Better than anyone. 18 00:00:40,368 --> 00:00:41,579 Mm. 19 00:00:41,750 --> 00:00:43,227 What do you have planned today? 20 00:00:43,315 --> 00:00:44,415 Oh, let's see. 21 00:00:44,503 --> 00:00:46,085 I'm gonna take your shirts to the dry cleaner's, 22 00:00:46,172 --> 00:00:48,891 fix Mr. Munson's freezer and... oh, yeah, 23 00:00:48,987 --> 00:00:50,423 officially take your last name. 24 00:00:50,511 --> 00:00:51,992 What's wrong with his freezer? 25 00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:54,062 I think you missed the headline. 26 00:00:54,150 --> 00:00:56,628 No, I heard you. But our freezer's been acting weird. 27 00:00:56,716 --> 00:00:58,087 Could be the same thing. 28 00:00:58,175 --> 00:01:01,204 Adam, I have an appointment at the Social Security office, 29 00:01:01,292 --> 00:01:03,407 where I will fill out a government form. 30 00:01:03,495 --> 00:01:04,548 After 22 years, 31 00:01:04,636 --> 00:01:06,923 I am allowing myself to show up on the grid. 32 00:01:07,011 --> 00:01:08,657 I know. That's a big step for you. 33 00:01:08,745 --> 00:01:10,655 Yeah. Especially since there's a small chance 34 00:01:10,743 --> 00:01:11,899 I might be arrested. 35 00:01:11,987 --> 00:01:14,842 And if you do, I can't be forced to testify against you, 36 00:01:14,930 --> 00:01:15,868 because I'm your husband. 37 00:01:15,956 --> 00:01:18,772 That right there, that's why I want to be Bonnie Janikowski. 38 00:01:18,881 --> 00:01:21,882 Cool. And keep me posted on that freezer thing. 39 00:01:23,551 --> 00:01:26,899 Why are you acting like this isn't hugely important to you? 40 00:01:27,002 --> 00:01:28,500 Whatever makes you happy, Bonnie. 41 00:01:28,588 --> 00:01:30,079 It really doesn't matter to me. 42 00:01:30,167 --> 00:01:33,024 Well, it matters to me and I'm doing it. 43 00:01:38,241 --> 00:01:39,540 Smooth. 44 00:01:43,213 --> 00:01:44,294 Hey. 45 00:01:44,420 --> 00:01:45,467 No time. 46 00:01:45,906 --> 00:01:47,610 All you had to do is say "hey" back. 47 00:01:47,698 --> 00:01:49,954 I don't have time for "Hey, hey." 48 00:01:50,111 --> 00:01:52,893 My boss thinks 15 minutes early is five minutes late, 49 00:01:52,980 --> 00:01:54,984 and I still haven't finished proofreading those contracts. 50 00:01:55,071 --> 00:01:56,296 Ah. I would've read those last night, 51 00:01:56,383 --> 00:01:58,704 so I'd be prepared for work and be able to give my mother 52 00:01:58,792 --> 00:02:00,218 the cheery good morning she deserves. 53 00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:03,704 Veronica kept me at the office till 2:00 a.m. 54 00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:04,813 She never gets tired. 55 00:02:04,901 --> 00:02:06,450 She's like a machine that runs on yelling 56 00:02:06,537 --> 00:02:08,552 and very expensive goat yogurt. 57 00:02:09,188 --> 00:02:10,360 Well, whatever you do, 58 00:02:10,448 --> 00:02:12,446 - just don't pull a Christy. - What's that mean? 59 00:02:12,534 --> 00:02:14,574 You know, try hard for a little while and then quit. 60 00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:16,344 How is that pulling a Christy? 61 00:02:16,503 --> 00:02:18,498 I finished college, I'm in law school, 62 00:02:18,586 --> 00:02:20,154 - I work three... - Oh, God, don't do the list. 63 00:02:20,241 --> 00:02:21,600 - Hey! - Hey! See? 64 00:02:21,688 --> 00:02:22,875 There was time. 65 00:02:23,110 --> 00:02:25,025 The point is I am not gonna quit this. 66 00:02:25,112 --> 00:02:26,293 She is a senior partner. 67 00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:27,628 Her name is on the building. 68 00:02:27,715 --> 00:02:28,862 If I do a good job, 69 00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:30,727 maybe she hires me when I graduate. 70 00:02:30,815 --> 00:02:32,229 Before you know it, I'm a judge 71 00:02:32,374 --> 00:02:34,534 and then eventually a Supreme Court justice. 72 00:02:34,622 --> 00:02:36,358 They seem okay with alcoholics now, 73 00:02:36,446 --> 00:02:38,391 so I could actually have a shot. 74 00:02:56,777 --> 00:02:58,375 *MOM* Season 07 Episode 03 75 00:02:58,462 --> 00:03:00,094 *MOM* Episode Title :"Goat Yogurt and Ample Parking" 76 00:03:16,886 --> 00:03:18,334 Wow. 77 00:03:18,545 --> 00:03:20,742 That was all kinds of bad idea. 78 00:03:21,492 --> 00:03:23,072 Well, sorry, heart. 79 00:03:23,398 --> 00:03:24,656 Christy! 80 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:26,266 - Coming. - Christy! 81 00:03:26,354 --> 00:03:27,461 - Coming. - Christy! 82 00:03:27,549 --> 00:03:28,863 - Coming. - Christy! 83 00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:31,646 - Coming. - What took you so long? 84 00:03:31,734 --> 00:03:34,985 Uh, I was, uh... I'm sorry. I had to adjust my skirt. 85 00:03:35,073 --> 00:03:36,883 This zipper just wants to be in the front. 86 00:03:36,971 --> 00:03:39,266 I need you to confirm my lunch at Malone's. 87 00:03:39,354 --> 00:03:42,638 Also, pull the files on the Onyx Merger. 88 00:03:42,726 --> 00:03:44,664 I need you to get my car detailed. 89 00:03:44,767 --> 00:03:47,272 Don't take it to the place I don't like. 90 00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:48,133 Come on. 91 00:03:48,221 --> 00:03:52,311 Pick up my prescription at the pharmacy and get those cucumbers 92 00:03:52,399 --> 00:03:54,136 out of my lemon water. Malone's, Onyx, 93 00:03:54,223 --> 00:03:55,260 cucumbers, prescription. Schedule a 94 00:03:55,347 --> 00:03:56,439 meeting for Thursday with Thad Edwards. 95 00:03:56,526 --> 00:03:57,703 Thad, Thursday. 96 00:03:57,791 --> 00:03:59,475 Check the court calendar to see which judge I landed 97 00:03:59,562 --> 00:04:00,383 in the Higgins case. 98 00:04:00,471 --> 00:04:02,850 If it's Barris, text me; if it's Johnson, 99 00:04:02,938 --> 00:04:05,789 file for an extension; if it's Clarke, kill me now. 100 00:04:06,097 --> 00:04:09,036 Can you just say all that again into my phone? 101 00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:10,357 No! 102 00:04:13,563 --> 00:04:14,842 Got it. 103 00:04:16,516 --> 00:04:17,742 Hi, Ken. 104 00:04:18,867 --> 00:04:20,096 Oh. 105 00:04:20,183 --> 00:04:23,065 Hello, young lady. 106 00:04:23,152 --> 00:04:25,067 I've been waiting for that all day. 107 00:04:25,154 --> 00:04:27,281 Oh, look at those legs. 108 00:04:27,371 --> 00:04:29,786 Mmm. All the way to the floor. 109 00:04:29,874 --> 00:04:31,522 Hey, hey. You missed your chance. 110 00:04:31,610 --> 00:04:32,625 I'm married now. 111 00:04:32,713 --> 00:04:34,060 Ah, well, so am I. 112 00:04:34,148 --> 00:04:37,930 Uh, it makes it more exciting. 113 00:04:38,819 --> 00:04:40,696 You know, I can hear you! 114 00:04:41,062 --> 00:04:45,235 The only thing that still works on her is the ears! 115 00:04:46,752 --> 00:04:48,571 So, what you got? 116 00:04:48,659 --> 00:04:49,406 Five shirts. 117 00:04:49,494 --> 00:04:51,469 All right. The last name Plunkett. 118 00:04:51,557 --> 00:04:54,129 Actually, I'm on my way to the Social Security office 119 00:04:54,217 --> 00:04:56,884 where I will officially become Bonnie Janikowski. 120 00:04:57,608 --> 00:04:59,037 Sheesh. 121 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:02,686 So, J-A-N-E... 122 00:05:02,774 --> 00:05:05,410 - No. J-A-N-I-K... - L-Let's 123 00:05:05,498 --> 00:05:08,076 - slow-slow down. J-A-N-E... 124 00:05:08,164 --> 00:05:10,046 No. J-N-I-K... 125 00:05:10,134 --> 00:05:13,083 Wait. J-A-N-I-K... 126 00:05:13,171 --> 00:05:15,186 Wait, are-are you sure there's no "C"? 127 00:05:15,905 --> 00:05:18,921 Well, now I'm not. All right, uh, uh... 128 00:05:19,008 --> 00:05:21,561 - Give me a pen. I got to write this down. - All right. 129 00:05:21,759 --> 00:05:23,303 Uh... 130 00:05:24,814 --> 00:05:26,420 None of this looks right. 131 00:05:27,151 --> 00:05:30,419 Okay, there. I think that's it. 132 00:05:31,393 --> 00:05:33,745 Oh. So there is a "C"? 133 00:05:37,026 --> 00:05:39,526 Damn it, just leave it Plunkett. 134 00:05:41,162 --> 00:05:43,034 No. Disabuse your client of the notion 135 00:05:43,128 --> 00:05:44,980 he is going to walk away from this thing with anything 136 00:05:45,067 --> 00:05:46,198 that even resembles a win. 137 00:05:46,286 --> 00:05:48,201 It's over and everyone knows it but you! 138 00:05:48,289 --> 00:05:49,409 Hanging up! 139 00:05:50,044 --> 00:05:51,724 Hang it up! 140 00:05:53,403 --> 00:05:54,706 I love watching you work. 141 00:05:54,794 --> 00:05:57,743 Ugh, well, that's creepy. Take these. 142 00:05:58,180 --> 00:05:59,714 Where is my prescription? 143 00:05:59,802 --> 00:06:01,651 Oh, um, right here. 144 00:06:01,768 --> 00:06:03,799 The pharmacist said to take them with a... 145 00:06:03,886 --> 00:06:06,802 Yeah, I know how to take them. You want one? You want one. 146 00:06:07,690 --> 00:06:08,760 What is it? 147 00:06:08,848 --> 00:06:10,296 Adderall. We're all on it. 148 00:06:10,384 --> 00:06:12,299 Get on it. You're sluggish. 149 00:06:12,528 --> 00:06:16,964 Oh. No, thank you, but thank you, but no. 150 00:06:17,206 --> 00:06:18,346 You sure? 151 00:06:18,434 --> 00:06:19,464 Yeah. 152 00:06:19,552 --> 00:06:20,552 Then get out! 153 00:06:20,647 --> 00:06:21,829 - Get out! - O-Okay. 154 00:06:21,917 --> 00:06:23,292 Get out! Get out! Okay. 155 00:06:23,380 --> 00:06:25,380 - Okay. - Get out! 156 00:06:29,018 --> 00:06:30,628 Do I seem sluggish to you? 157 00:06:30,716 --> 00:06:32,549 Uh, today or every day? 158 00:06:32,647 --> 00:06:34,440 Eh, it doesn't matter. Yes to both. 159 00:06:34,810 --> 00:06:37,589 My boss and everyone else in the building is on uppers, 160 00:06:37,677 --> 00:06:39,175 which is not safe, or fair. 161 00:06:39,288 --> 00:06:40,628 How am I supposed to compete? 162 00:06:40,716 --> 00:06:42,604 Sounds like someone's about to pull a Christy. 163 00:06:42,933 --> 00:06:45,164 No, I'm not, and stop calling it that. 164 00:06:46,250 --> 00:06:47,357 Hey, babe. 165 00:06:47,445 --> 00:06:49,627 I'm at the grocery store. Do you need anything? 166 00:06:49,715 --> 00:06:51,263 - I'm good. - Ooh. 167 00:06:51,351 --> 00:06:52,940 Can you get some strawberries for my boss? 168 00:06:53,027 --> 00:06:55,042 But not the big ones, the little tiny sweet ones. 169 00:06:55,143 --> 00:06:56,807 She had them last spring in Capri, 170 00:06:56,906 --> 00:06:58,620 and they were apparently magical. 171 00:06:58,708 --> 00:07:00,422 I'll do my best. 172 00:07:00,767 --> 00:07:02,527 You know he's just gonna get you raspberries. 173 00:07:02,614 --> 00:07:03,816 She's right. 174 00:07:03,990 --> 00:07:07,138 How was the Social Security office, Mrs. Janikowski? 175 00:07:07,226 --> 00:07:08,707 It was great. 176 00:07:08,951 --> 00:07:11,367 The line moved quickly, there was ample parking, 177 00:07:11,454 --> 00:07:14,069 and, uh, I made friends with a woman from Kuala Lumpur. 178 00:07:14,156 --> 00:07:15,780 Awesome. See you at home. 179 00:07:15,868 --> 00:07:17,167 Bye. Love you. 180 00:07:17,743 --> 00:07:19,290 Look at you, 181 00:07:19,393 --> 00:07:21,476 changing your name legally for once. 182 00:07:21,564 --> 00:07:23,245 Yeah, I didn't do it. 183 00:07:23,332 --> 00:07:24,413 What? 184 00:07:24,566 --> 00:07:26,527 You just lied to your brand-new husband? 185 00:07:26,615 --> 00:07:28,100 I rescheduled, so technically 186 00:07:28,188 --> 00:07:30,777 I just pre-told him tomorrow's truth. 187 00:07:31,301 --> 00:07:33,558 What about the woman from Kuala Lumpur? 188 00:07:33,651 --> 00:07:35,633 Well, it might happen. I'm a friendly person. 189 00:07:36,762 --> 00:07:38,660 Another lie. Why didn't you go? 190 00:07:38,748 --> 00:07:41,749 Eh, it just didn't feel like a good day to become Polish. 191 00:07:44,850 --> 00:07:46,898 Bonnie, your turn to sweep. I pass. 192 00:07:47,157 --> 00:07:48,598 You can't pass. 193 00:07:48,686 --> 00:07:50,601 It's a hard pass. 194 00:07:50,852 --> 00:07:52,452 Fine, I'll do it. 195 00:07:56,857 --> 00:07:58,138 What are you doing? 196 00:07:58,226 --> 00:07:59,730 Sweeping. 197 00:08:00,202 --> 00:08:01,363 Yeah, I have three maids. 198 00:08:01,451 --> 00:08:03,230 I don't think so. 199 00:08:03,688 --> 00:08:06,543 Who taught you how to do that, a cartoon mouse? 200 00:08:07,808 --> 00:08:09,191 What's wrong with what I'm doing? 201 00:08:09,279 --> 00:08:11,192 Oh, good Lord, give me that broom. 202 00:08:18,581 --> 00:08:20,736 I hate her, I hate her, I hate her. 203 00:08:20,823 --> 00:08:23,383 Your mom's already here. Who is it? 204 00:08:23,831 --> 00:08:26,238 The other most toxic person on the planet. 205 00:08:26,328 --> 00:08:28,744 Hey, Veronica. What can I do for you? 206 00:08:28,831 --> 00:08:30,045 Uh-huh. 207 00:08:31,082 --> 00:08:32,933 I am on it. 208 00:08:34,589 --> 00:08:36,166 I can't go to the bistro. 209 00:08:36,254 --> 00:08:38,152 I got to go run an errand for my boss. 210 00:08:38,240 --> 00:08:39,855 She needs you to score more pills? 211 00:08:39,943 --> 00:08:41,124 No. 212 00:08:41,683 --> 00:08:43,238 She needs pot. 213 00:08:43,642 --> 00:08:46,361 Yes, that's right. I am leaving an A.A. meeting 214 00:08:46,449 --> 00:08:47,519 to go buy pot. 215 00:08:47,607 --> 00:08:48,879 Seriously? 216 00:08:49,051 --> 00:08:50,286 You know, my guy Earl used to work 217 00:08:50,373 --> 00:08:51,573 under the Third Street Bridge. 218 00:08:51,681 --> 00:08:53,926 He'll hook you up pretty good if he's still alive. 219 00:08:54,049 --> 00:08:56,865 It's okay. She wants me to go to her dispensary. 220 00:08:56,953 --> 00:08:59,082 Ooh, I've never been to one of those. I want to go! 221 00:08:59,170 --> 00:09:01,589 - This'll be fun! - I'll come, too. 222 00:09:01,677 --> 00:09:02,698 Road trip! 223 00:09:02,786 --> 00:09:04,223 Tammy, it's four blocks away. 224 00:09:04,311 --> 00:09:06,393 Super short road trip! 225 00:09:07,293 --> 00:09:08,702 She's in your car. 226 00:09:17,481 --> 00:09:20,284 Why are we buying pot in an Apple Store? 227 00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:23,442 This is a lot different than Earl's bridge. 228 00:09:23,654 --> 00:09:25,569 I don't like it. Where's the shame? 229 00:09:25,656 --> 00:09:26,904 Where's the danger? 230 00:09:27,034 --> 00:09:28,524 Hi. I'm DJ. 231 00:09:28,612 --> 00:09:29,707 How may I help you? 232 00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:33,244 I have to buy pot for my friend. 233 00:09:33,464 --> 00:09:34,878 Your "friend"? 234 00:09:34,966 --> 00:09:36,314 Ladies, it's legal. 235 00:09:36,402 --> 00:09:38,384 You can come out from the shadows. 236 00:09:41,839 --> 00:09:43,510 This place smells like nursing school. 237 00:09:43,598 --> 00:09:44,845 Like high school. 238 00:09:44,933 --> 00:09:46,659 Her womb. 239 00:09:47,354 --> 00:09:49,036 Let's not get too excited. 240 00:09:49,140 --> 00:09:51,206 We're just here for moral support. 241 00:09:51,595 --> 00:09:54,510 Man, those are some fat buds. 242 00:09:55,222 --> 00:09:56,839 That's Jolly Green Giant. 243 00:09:56,927 --> 00:09:58,108 We grow it in-house. 244 00:09:58,196 --> 00:10:00,044 It's a really nice indica sativa hybrid, 245 00:10:00,132 --> 00:10:02,432 about 30% THC. 246 00:10:04,266 --> 00:10:06,885 Wow, we've come a long way from 247 00:10:06,973 --> 00:10:09,745 "Here's what might be weed in a bag." 248 00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:11,496 Would you like to meet the plants? 249 00:10:11,583 --> 00:10:13,182 Ooh, I would like to meet the plants. 250 00:10:13,437 --> 00:10:16,065 I would like to do terrible things to them. 251 00:10:16,153 --> 00:10:17,301 We don't smoke. 252 00:10:17,526 --> 00:10:19,775 Gotcha. Let me show you the edibles. 253 00:10:20,011 --> 00:10:23,260 Cookies, cereal, crackers, pretzel bites, sodas. 254 00:10:23,571 --> 00:10:25,586 This isn't fair. They legalized pot 255 00:10:25,674 --> 00:10:27,656 and put it in all my favorite snacks! 256 00:10:27,985 --> 00:10:30,980 Oh, honey, it doesn't matter what it's in. It's... 257 00:10:31,137 --> 00:10:32,690 Holy crap, it's in salad dressing! 258 00:10:32,778 --> 00:10:34,674 Somebody physically restrain me. 259 00:10:34,891 --> 00:10:36,706 I'm sure you get this question all the time. 260 00:10:36,794 --> 00:10:40,487 I'm sober. If I rub this CBD oil on my husband 261 00:10:40,575 --> 00:10:43,609 and I somehow... ingest it, 262 00:10:43,697 --> 00:10:46,346 is that technically a relapse 263 00:10:46,434 --> 00:10:49,120 or just a great way to handle my joint pain? 264 00:10:49,507 --> 00:10:51,755 Uh, I've never gotten that question before. 265 00:10:51,862 --> 00:10:55,125 Not worth the risk. I'll stick with whipped cream and Advil. 266 00:10:55,432 --> 00:10:58,620 Okay, um, I need an eighth of Laughing Buddha, 267 00:10:58,708 --> 00:11:01,991 two packs of pre-rolled Skywalker O.G., 268 00:11:02,079 --> 00:11:03,527 and breath strips. 269 00:11:03,854 --> 00:11:06,143 Wait, I'm probably supposed to get that from the pharmacy. 270 00:11:06,231 --> 00:11:08,362 No, we have those here. With pot in them? 271 00:11:08,450 --> 00:11:09,885 I'm gonna saveyou some time. 272 00:11:09,973 --> 00:11:13,799 Everything in this room has pot in it. Including me. 273 00:11:16,839 --> 00:11:18,182 What about this bag? 274 00:11:18,269 --> 00:11:19,269 It's made of hemp. 275 00:11:19,371 --> 00:11:20,292 - Ooh. - Ooh. 276 00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:22,831 I want to buy that bag. I'm allowed to buy that bag. 277 00:11:23,732 --> 00:11:26,448 Oh, check it out. This one's on sale. 278 00:11:26,543 --> 00:11:27,724 Pot goes on sale? 279 00:11:27,833 --> 00:11:30,349 I used to have to do things to get a discount. 280 00:11:30,437 --> 00:11:33,019 Fortunately, Earl was not bad-looking. 281 00:11:33,107 --> 00:11:36,257 For someone who slept in a shopping cart. 282 00:11:36,737 --> 00:11:37,830 Here you go. 283 00:11:37,918 --> 00:11:39,440 Since you're a first-time customer, 284 00:11:39,528 --> 00:11:42,038 throw in some gummy bears and lollipops. 285 00:11:42,526 --> 00:11:45,253 And when you say "gummy bears and lollipops..." 286 00:11:45,341 --> 00:11:46,489 Yes, they have pot in them. 287 00:11:46,577 --> 00:11:48,677 Son of a biscuit! 288 00:11:51,665 --> 00:11:53,213 Mmm. 289 00:11:53,472 --> 00:11:55,854 You're not a bowl of marijuana-infused Cheerios, 290 00:11:56,042 --> 00:11:57,714 but you're still pretty good. 291 00:11:58,289 --> 00:12:01,057 That was fun, but I'd never do it again. 292 00:12:01,145 --> 00:12:03,016 They make it look all happy-happy, joy-joy, 293 00:12:03,104 --> 00:12:04,582 which makes it hard to remember that for me 294 00:12:04,669 --> 00:12:07,052 it led to crappy-crappy, sad-sad. 295 00:12:07,335 --> 00:12:08,447 Me, too. 296 00:12:08,535 --> 00:12:10,484 And now that it's legal, I can't go anywhere 297 00:12:10,572 --> 00:12:13,888 without walking through a cloud of that sweet, sweet odor. 298 00:12:14,077 --> 00:12:16,511 It's true. It's everywhere now. 299 00:12:16,794 --> 00:12:17,987 So is alcohol. 300 00:12:18,075 --> 00:12:19,857 Yeah, but I don't walk down the sidewalk 301 00:12:19,945 --> 00:12:22,354 and get a glass of wine thrown in my face. 302 00:12:22,816 --> 00:12:24,602 One time Jell-O, but to be fair, 303 00:12:24,690 --> 00:12:28,073 I was... I was pretty mean to that little boy. 304 00:12:29,354 --> 00:12:31,043 Maybe you'll be a nicer person 305 00:12:31,131 --> 00:12:33,179 when you become Bonnie Janikowski. 306 00:12:33,367 --> 00:12:35,049 Not likely. 307 00:12:35,245 --> 00:12:37,120 Oh, yeah, you did that today. 308 00:12:37,270 --> 00:12:38,862 No, she did not. 309 00:12:39,950 --> 00:12:42,604 Oh. Oops, did I let that slip? 310 00:12:43,667 --> 00:12:44,835 Why? 311 00:12:44,922 --> 00:12:46,128 I don't, I don't know. 312 00:12:46,216 --> 00:12:47,764 Something about it didn't feel right. 313 00:12:47,968 --> 00:12:49,846 Maybe it's 'cause you're so old. 314 00:12:50,355 --> 00:12:51,836 What are you doing? 315 00:12:51,924 --> 00:12:54,831 This is a violent woman with a long reach. 316 00:12:55,317 --> 00:12:57,202 I just mean when a 25-year-old woman 317 00:12:57,290 --> 00:12:59,239 changes her name, it's no big deal. 318 00:12:59,381 --> 00:13:02,297 But it's much harder for someone in their twilight years. 319 00:13:02,385 --> 00:13:05,653 Oh, just go on and hit her. She's asking for it. 320 00:13:07,504 --> 00:13:09,690 It kills me to say this, but Wendy has a point. 321 00:13:09,778 --> 00:13:11,729 I've been Bonnie Plunkett my whole life. 322 00:13:11,817 --> 00:13:14,182 And something's telling me I should stay that way. 323 00:13:14,361 --> 00:13:16,198 Mm. Honey, if you're this conflicted, 324 00:13:16,286 --> 00:13:17,893 you should talk to Adam. 325 00:13:18,122 --> 00:13:20,292 Don't forget to tell him you lied earlier. 326 00:13:20,775 --> 00:13:22,143 Oops. 327 00:13:22,643 --> 00:13:24,604 Why the hell don't you just hyphenate? 328 00:13:24,692 --> 00:13:27,993 Bonnie Plunkett-Janikowski? What am I, the alphabet? 329 00:13:32,148 --> 00:13:35,229 I just talked to Thad's assistant Chad... 330 00:13:35,906 --> 00:13:37,424 Yes, you heard that right. 331 00:13:37,512 --> 00:13:40,690 Uh, they're running late, so you have some time. 332 00:13:41,694 --> 00:13:44,151 You're not yelling at me. Are you okay? 333 00:13:47,334 --> 00:13:50,167 Oh. Aren't you pretty. 334 00:13:51,622 --> 00:13:53,456 What you got going on there? 335 00:13:54,887 --> 00:13:58,276 I was feeling kind of tired, so I took extra Adderall. 336 00:13:58,364 --> 00:13:59,534 Then I felt jumpy, 337 00:13:59,622 --> 00:14:01,089 so I ate a couple pot gummies. 338 00:14:01,177 --> 00:14:03,471 Then I forgot I ate the gummies, so I ate more gummies. 339 00:14:06,709 --> 00:14:09,823 Chad and Thad... I just got that. 340 00:14:12,742 --> 00:14:15,892 I may not be able to handle this meeting. 341 00:14:16,611 --> 00:14:18,799 Do you have makeup remover 342 00:14:18,887 --> 00:14:22,549 or a hat with a veil? 343 00:14:23,432 --> 00:14:27,158 This is my first gummy bear experience, and it's not good. 344 00:14:27,510 --> 00:14:28,565 Here are my takeaways. 345 00:14:28,653 --> 00:14:31,065 A: Don't eat nine. 346 00:14:31,435 --> 00:14:34,276 B: I'm gonna die. 347 00:14:35,861 --> 00:14:37,880 Maybe I should reschedule the meeting. 348 00:14:37,968 --> 00:14:40,721 No. We need this client because... 349 00:14:41,071 --> 00:14:43,287 this firm is in trouble. 350 00:14:43,374 --> 00:14:45,222 We are this close to bankruptcy, 351 00:14:45,309 --> 00:14:47,516 and we just spent a lot of money on new chairs. 352 00:14:47,604 --> 00:14:49,571 It was so dumb. 353 00:14:51,423 --> 00:14:53,532 Veronica, this is a classic 354 00:14:53,676 --> 00:14:56,192 "too high slash panic attack" situation. 355 00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:57,295 Yep, yep, that feels right. 356 00:14:57,382 --> 00:14:59,342 Open that window. I want to jump out. 357 00:15:01,174 --> 00:15:03,656 Look in my eyes and repeat after me: 358 00:15:03,916 --> 00:15:05,798 I am okay. 359 00:15:05,963 --> 00:15:07,953 You are okay. 360 00:15:08,499 --> 00:15:10,817 No, you are okay. 361 00:15:11,075 --> 00:15:13,199 No, you are okay. 362 00:15:13,449 --> 00:15:16,676 I am trying to get you to say "I am okay." 363 00:15:16,812 --> 00:15:20,095 But I am so not okay, and I'll never be okay! 364 00:15:20,987 --> 00:15:23,894 All right! I'm gonna have to slap you. 365 00:15:24,277 --> 00:15:25,981 Do it! 366 00:15:32,057 --> 00:15:35,253 Ugh! I can't! I can't slap my boss! 367 00:15:35,341 --> 00:15:36,544 Do it! 368 00:15:36,632 --> 00:15:37,615 Say something mean. 369 00:15:37,703 --> 00:15:39,017 Tell me I'm a terrible assistant. 370 00:15:39,276 --> 00:15:41,836 Tell you? I thought you already knew. 371 00:15:45,336 --> 00:15:47,136 Hey! That helped! 372 00:15:47,224 --> 00:15:49,347 Let's go again! 373 00:15:50,918 --> 00:15:52,503 I'm not high! 374 00:15:58,384 --> 00:16:00,666 Ah, damn it, you're home. 375 00:16:02,186 --> 00:16:04,519 Oh, we're just telling each other the truth now? 376 00:16:05,509 --> 00:16:07,558 Okay, your hair is ridiculous. 377 00:16:07,932 --> 00:16:10,956 No, I got you a gift, and I wanted to surprise you with it. 378 00:16:11,044 --> 00:16:13,226 And-and what-what's wrong with my hair? 379 00:16:13,530 --> 00:16:15,212 It looks like it's trying to escape. 380 00:16:15,299 --> 00:16:16,832 Give me my present. 381 00:16:18,183 --> 00:16:21,223 I ordered us a new welcome mat that says "The Janikowskis" 382 00:16:21,311 --> 00:16:22,725 'cause that's who we are now. 383 00:16:23,722 --> 00:16:25,396 That is... 384 00:16:25,498 --> 00:16:26,855 so sweet. 385 00:16:27,095 --> 00:16:28,175 Yeah. 386 00:16:28,294 --> 00:16:30,847 And yet I feel I don't deserve it. 387 00:16:31,003 --> 00:16:32,229 Why not? 388 00:16:32,722 --> 00:16:35,283 Because only one of us is a Janikowski. 389 00:16:36,682 --> 00:16:39,581 I didn't, uh, go to the Social Security office. 390 00:16:41,042 --> 00:16:42,206 You lied to me? 391 00:16:42,294 --> 00:16:45,260 Well, I thought I was telling you today's truth yesterday. 392 00:16:46,055 --> 00:16:48,417 I-I can see why you're confused. 393 00:16:48,885 --> 00:16:51,011 So... what happened? 394 00:16:51,863 --> 00:16:55,027 I just have this little voice saying, "Don't do it." 395 00:16:55,189 --> 00:16:58,321 The-the thing is, I-I hated being Bonnie Plunkett 396 00:16:58,409 --> 00:16:59,605 for most of my life. 397 00:16:59,693 --> 00:17:03,143 I was a drunk, a-a thief, a terrible mother. 398 00:17:03,414 --> 00:17:05,488 I-I felt worthless and broken. 399 00:17:05,576 --> 00:17:08,225 But then I did all this work on myself, 400 00:17:08,313 --> 00:17:09,993 and I finally love Bonnie Plunkett, 401 00:17:10,081 --> 00:17:12,699 and I just, I'm not ready to let her go. 402 00:17:13,824 --> 00:17:15,172 Wow. 403 00:17:15,355 --> 00:17:16,956 I had no idea you felt that way. 404 00:17:17,044 --> 00:17:18,592 I didn't either. 405 00:17:18,684 --> 00:17:20,665 I'm sorry. I know this was important to you. 406 00:17:20,753 --> 00:17:22,702 And don't say it wasn't, because you clearly paid 407 00:17:22,790 --> 00:17:25,199 for expedited shipping on that welcome mat. 408 00:17:26,429 --> 00:17:28,769 It was only three dollars more. 409 00:17:29,176 --> 00:17:32,032 I... I just wanted the whole world to know 410 00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:33,123 that we're a family. 411 00:17:34,645 --> 00:17:37,402 Why would you say something like that? 412 00:17:37,659 --> 00:17:38,794 What? 413 00:17:38,882 --> 00:17:41,308 So sweet. Now I'm waffling again. 414 00:17:41,454 --> 00:17:42,956 No, no, no, no, no, don't waffle. 415 00:17:43,044 --> 00:17:44,640 You finally love Bonnie Plunkett, 416 00:17:44,728 --> 00:17:47,191 and I've always loved Bonnie Plunkett, so... 417 00:17:47,948 --> 00:17:49,597 stay Bonnie Plunkett. 418 00:17:51,126 --> 00:17:54,127 All right, but I'm doing this for you. 419 00:17:56,101 --> 00:17:58,995 And, hey, this doesn't mean we can't have a welcome mat 420 00:17:59,083 --> 00:18:00,231 that says "The Janikowskis." 421 00:18:00,319 --> 00:18:02,634 At the very least, you and Gus are Janikowskis. 422 00:18:03,855 --> 00:18:06,191 Gus's last name is Wooferton. 423 00:18:09,069 --> 00:18:12,152 Let's just put out the mat. I'm sure he won't complain. 424 00:18:15,667 --> 00:18:18,382 "The Jackinowskis." 425 00:18:19,097 --> 00:18:21,667 Everyone always wants to put a "C" in it. 426 00:18:25,981 --> 00:18:28,324 - Hey. - Hey. How was work? 427 00:18:28,435 --> 00:18:30,527 Excellent, thanks to you. 428 00:18:30,615 --> 00:18:32,220 - Really? - Yeah. 429 00:18:32,308 --> 00:18:33,745 I saved my boss's ass 430 00:18:33,833 --> 00:18:36,206 when she got way too high and freaked out. 431 00:18:37,136 --> 00:18:39,527 You are really good at that. Did you have to slap her? 432 00:18:40,066 --> 00:18:42,861 Yep. But just like you, she hit back. 433 00:18:42,949 --> 00:18:43,957 But... 434 00:18:44,045 --> 00:18:45,450 I sobered her up enough for her meeting, 435 00:18:45,538 --> 00:18:47,273 and now I get to go to court with her tomorrow. 436 00:18:47,361 --> 00:18:49,324 Mostly to carry her yogurt, but still. 437 00:18:49,412 --> 00:18:51,294 Congratulations! 438 00:18:51,780 --> 00:18:53,347 So now with the way this turned out, 439 00:18:53,435 --> 00:18:55,518 can sticking with it and persevering 440 00:18:55,606 --> 00:18:57,095 and getting huge success be called... 441 00:18:57,182 --> 00:18:59,433 Pulling a Bonnie Plunkett? Yes, it can. 442 00:18:59,521 --> 00:19:02,203 Captioning sponsored by CBS and WARNER BROS. TELEVISION and TOYOTA. 443 00:19:02,291 --> 00:19:03,791 Sync corrections by srjanapala