1 00:00:02,070 --> 00:00:03,071 AAH! 2 00:00:07,875 --> 00:00:09,943 SEE THIS? DO YOU SEE IT?! 3 00:00:12,380 --> 00:00:14,014 MOVE! MAN DOWN! 4 00:00:17,951 --> 00:00:21,155 ALL RIGHT, GUYS, ANGLES, LET'S SHAG SOME FLIES. 5 00:00:21,189 --> 00:00:22,723 Terry Jr.: YEAH, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THIS. 6 00:00:22,756 --> 00:00:25,093 WE HAD THREE INJURIES JUST RUNNING OUT OF THE DUGOUT. 7 00:00:25,126 --> 00:00:26,527 WHAT ARE THEY GONNA DO DURING A GAME? 8 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:27,695 THEY'RE GONNA DO WHAT THEY ALWAYS DO -- 9 00:00:27,728 --> 00:00:29,097 YELL "YOU GOT IT" AND GET OUT OF THE WAY. 10 00:00:29,130 --> 00:00:30,764 COME ON, GIVE ME. 11 00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:34,068 I GOT IT! I GOT IT! I GOT IT! I GOT IT! 12 00:00:34,102 --> 00:00:35,969 YOU GOT IT! YOU GOT IT! YOU GOT IT! YOU GOT IT! 13 00:00:38,072 --> 00:00:39,740 YOU KNOW, DICK, AS SAFETY OFFICER, 14 00:00:39,773 --> 00:00:41,175 IT REALLY MAKES ME HAPPY 15 00:00:41,209 --> 00:00:43,777 TO SEE YOUR LEAGUE EMBRACING SAFETY. 16 00:00:43,811 --> 00:00:46,580 YEP. JUST LIKE I'D LIKE TO EMBRACE MY WIFE... 17 00:00:46,614 --> 00:00:48,449 IF SHE EVER COMES BACK. 18 00:00:48,482 --> 00:00:50,218 ANYWAY, HIGH MARKS ALL ACROSS THE BOARD. 19 00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:52,253 THANK YOU, AND I'M SORRY ABOUT EMMA, SHELDON, 20 00:00:52,286 --> 00:00:53,687 AND, UH, I'D LOVE TO TAKE CREDIT 21 00:00:53,721 --> 00:00:56,690 FOR HOW SAFE IT IS OUT HERE, BUT, YOU KNOW. 22 00:00:56,724 --> 00:00:58,459 AH, WHO ARE WE KIDDING? THIS IS ALL ME. 23 00:00:58,492 --> 00:01:00,194 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 24 00:01:00,228 --> 00:01:02,963 WELL, PRACTICES HAVE REALLY BEEN A PLEASURE TO WATCH. YEP. 25 00:01:02,996 --> 00:01:04,465 BOY, IT'S MILES AHEAD OF HOW IT WAS 26 00:01:04,498 --> 00:01:05,933 BEFORE YOU TOOK OVER IN '09. 27 00:01:05,966 --> 00:01:08,802 YEAH, I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT GOLDBERG KID LOST HIS HAND. 28 00:01:08,836 --> 00:01:12,039 MAN. YOU'D THINK CHAIN LINK WOULD BE A LITTLE MORE FORGIVING. 29 00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,073 ALL RIGHT, DONG. 30 00:01:13,107 --> 00:01:15,809 REMEMBER WHAT WE PRACTICED NOW. 31 00:01:15,843 --> 00:01:17,911 SHADE YOUR EYES WITH THE GLOVE, 32 00:01:17,945 --> 00:01:19,113 WATCH IT, CATCH IT. 33 00:01:19,147 --> 00:01:21,415 OKAY, CANNON. GOT IT. 34 00:01:28,289 --> 00:01:30,090 UH. 35 00:01:30,124 --> 00:01:31,959 [ MOANING ] 36 00:01:31,992 --> 00:01:33,961 * I'M BACK 37 00:01:33,994 --> 00:01:36,997 -- Captions by VITAC -- 38 00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:44,172 * I'M BACK 39 00:01:45,639 --> 00:01:46,774 COME ON. COME ON, BUDDY. 40 00:01:46,807 --> 00:01:47,841 WAKE UP. YOU ALL RIGHT? 41 00:01:47,875 --> 00:01:48,942 HE'S DEAD. 42 00:01:48,976 --> 00:01:51,111 I'VE SEEN THIS BEFORE. 43 00:01:51,145 --> 00:01:52,413 WE NEED A FIXER. 44 00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:54,248 NO, SEE? SEE? HE'S NOT DEAD. 45 00:01:54,282 --> 00:01:57,785 THAT HEAD'S 10% BRAIN AND 90%...SOMETHING ELSE. 46 00:01:57,818 --> 00:01:58,786 HERE, COME HERE. 47 00:01:58,819 --> 00:02:00,020 PUT THIS ON YOUR HEAD. 48 00:02:00,053 --> 00:02:01,655 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! HANG ON. 49 00:02:01,689 --> 00:02:03,257 ARE YOU OFFERING AN ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE 50 00:02:03,291 --> 00:02:04,525 TO A MINOR, CANNON, 51 00:02:04,558 --> 00:02:06,327 IN FRONT OF OUR REGIONAL SAFETY OFFICER? 52 00:02:06,360 --> 00:02:08,095 AM I WEARING CLOWN SHOES? 53 00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:10,097 THE PIÑATA ON THIS CAN TURNED RED. 54 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:12,132 THAT MEANS IT'S ICE-COLD. YOU GET THAT? 55 00:02:12,166 --> 00:02:13,801 THAT IS COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE. 56 00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:15,336 WHERE'S YOUR MEDICAL BAG? YEAH. 57 00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:17,805 MOVE! MAN DOWN! 58 00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:19,673 HEY, HEY. YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY, BUDDY. HERE. 59 00:02:19,707 --> 00:02:21,141 IT'S NOT HALF AS BAD AS YESTERDAY. 60 00:02:21,175 --> 00:02:22,176 OR THE DAY BEFORE. 61 00:02:22,210 --> 00:02:23,877 OR THE TIME YOU ATE THE ROSIN BAG. 62 00:02:23,911 --> 00:02:25,045 ANGLES, TAKE A LAP 63 00:02:25,078 --> 00:02:27,281 WHILE WE FIGURE THIS THING OUT. 64 00:02:27,315 --> 00:02:28,549 YOU, SIR, ARE COMPLETELY OUT OF TOUCH 65 00:02:28,582 --> 00:02:29,983 WITH THE SAFETY OF THESE KIDS. 66 00:02:30,017 --> 00:02:31,485 YEP. HE'S A HUMAN PIPE BOMB. 67 00:02:31,519 --> 00:02:33,153 I'VE BEEN SAYING IT FOR WEEKS. 68 00:02:33,187 --> 00:02:34,222 AND WHO EXACTLY ARE YOU? 69 00:02:34,255 --> 00:02:35,623 THIS IS SHELDON BICKELL. 70 00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,291 HE'S THE REGIONAL SAFETY OFFICER. 71 00:02:37,325 --> 00:02:39,193 I KNEW, UH, AN EMMA BICKELL. 72 00:02:40,194 --> 00:02:42,563 SHE WAS A VERY UNHAPPY WOMAN. 73 00:02:42,596 --> 00:02:43,897 IT'S A COMMON NAME. 74 00:02:43,931 --> 00:02:45,566 WHAT I JUST SAW WAS A BLATANT VIOLATION 75 00:02:45,599 --> 00:02:46,834 OF THE LEAGUE'S SAFETY RULES. 76 00:02:46,867 --> 00:02:48,001 I'M GONNA HAVE TO REPORT THIS. 77 00:02:48,035 --> 00:02:49,470 YES! YES! 78 00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:51,004 AND NOT TO DO YOUR JOB, SHELDON, 79 00:02:51,038 --> 00:02:54,141 BUT I PERSONALLY WOULD RECOMMEND THE FOUR-HOUR SAFETY SEMINAR. 80 00:02:54,174 --> 00:02:55,243 WHO ASKED YOU? 81 00:02:55,276 --> 00:02:56,377 AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE? 82 00:02:56,410 --> 00:02:57,478 SHE'S THE COACH, 83 00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,079 SO SHE SHOULD HAVE TO GO, TOO. 84 00:02:59,112 --> 00:02:59,880 I WENT. 85 00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:00,881 OH, YOU DID, SHORT SHORTS? 86 00:03:00,914 --> 00:03:02,082 THEN WHY ARE YOUR KIDS 87 00:03:02,115 --> 00:03:03,183 STILL GETTING HIT IN THE FACE WITH BALLS? 88 00:03:03,217 --> 00:03:05,486 I WILL KILL YOU. NO, I'LL DO THAT. 89 00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:08,155 DICK, AS THE PRESIDENT OF THE LEAGUE, YOU HAVE TO GO, TOO. 90 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,357 YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS GUY. 91 00:03:09,390 --> 00:03:11,058 OH, COME ON, SHELDON! 92 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,427 DANG IT! 93 00:03:13,461 --> 00:03:15,062 WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT, UH, 94 00:03:15,095 --> 00:03:16,597 I'LL SHOW UP AT THIS THING ANYWAY? 95 00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:17,865 DO IT. DON'T DO IT. 96 00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:19,099 THE CHOICE IS YOURS. 97 00:03:19,132 --> 00:03:20,167 BUT IF YOU'RE AT THE GAME, 98 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:22,069 THE ANGLES ARE GONNA HAVE TO FORFEIT. 99 00:03:22,102 --> 00:03:23,371 YOU'D BE DOING THEM A FAVOR. 100 00:03:23,404 --> 00:03:24,505 I WILL MAKE SURE HE'S THERE. 101 00:03:24,538 --> 00:03:26,340 DO THAT. I'LL BE THERE, TOO. 102 00:03:26,374 --> 00:03:28,976 I HAVE NO PLACE ELSE TO GO. 103 00:03:29,977 --> 00:03:34,014 NOW, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN MAKE ME DO ANYTHING? 104 00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,115 YOU HAVE TO GO. 105 00:03:35,148 --> 00:03:36,884 YOU'RE KEEPING THE KIDS FROM PLAYING. 106 00:03:36,917 --> 00:03:39,587 JUST PRETEND YOU'RE AT HOME NOT LISTENING TO ME. 107 00:03:39,620 --> 00:03:40,421 WHAT? 108 00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:44,725 HEY. OH! 109 00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:45,926 IF YOU'RE WAITING FOR MICHAEL, 110 00:03:45,959 --> 00:03:47,461 I'M PRETTY SURE HE RODE HIS BIKE HOME WITH DANNY. 111 00:03:47,495 --> 00:03:48,962 OH, NO. NO, DARLING. 112 00:03:48,996 --> 00:03:51,198 I AM HERE FOR THE KID HAND-OFF. 113 00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:53,467 YES, IT'S THE BEST AND EASIEST WAY 114 00:03:53,501 --> 00:03:54,935 TO SPOT THE NEWLY DIVORCED DADS. 115 00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:56,136 [ LAUGHS ] WOW. 116 00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:57,271 YOU ARE AN ANIMAL. 117 00:03:57,305 --> 00:03:58,306 OH, NO, DARLING. 118 00:03:58,339 --> 00:04:00,140 I'M A VERY SYMPATHETIC LIONESS, 119 00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:03,143 ON THE PROWL FOR AN EMOTIONALLY WOUNDED GAZELLE. 120 00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:04,712 [ CHUCKLES ] OOH, YEAH, SEE, 121 00:04:04,745 --> 00:04:06,046 I LIKE HIM. 122 00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:07,247 HE KNOWS HOW TO SPOIL. 123 00:04:07,281 --> 00:04:09,049 LULU, ARE THERE ANY THAT YOU DON'T LIKE? 124 00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,951 YES, DARLING. I WILL NOT DO A PARENT 125 00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:12,753 WHO DRIVES A CAR THAT STARTS WITH THE LETTER "H." 126 00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:15,122 OH, WELL, IT'S GOOD TO HAVE STANDARDS. MM-HMM. 127 00:04:15,155 --> 00:04:17,124 I WILL NEVER DATE A MAN WITH A PERM -- 128 00:04:17,157 --> 00:04:19,159 WAY TOO SELFISH. 129 00:04:22,863 --> 00:04:24,332 [ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ] 130 00:04:24,365 --> 00:04:26,634 [ SIGHS ] 131 00:04:29,970 --> 00:04:31,772 HEY. YOU OKAY? 132 00:04:31,805 --> 00:04:33,240 I'M FINE, COACH. 133 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:35,275 JUST WAITING ON MY DAD. 134 00:04:35,309 --> 00:04:36,610 YOU WANT TO USE MY CELLPHONE? 135 00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:37,945 IT'S OKAY. 136 00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:39,947 I CAN DO MY HOMEWORK UNTIL HE GETS HERE. 137 00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:42,883 HE ALMOST NEVER FORGETS TO PICK ME UP. 138 00:04:44,051 --> 00:04:46,620 SO, DO YOUR PARENTS FORGET YOU SOMETIMES? 139 00:04:46,654 --> 00:04:48,322 IT'S HAPPENED BEFORE. 140 00:04:48,356 --> 00:04:49,823 THEY'RE REALLY BUSY. 141 00:04:49,857 --> 00:04:52,360 DON'T WORRY. I ONLY LIVE A FEW MILES AWAY. 142 00:04:52,393 --> 00:04:54,294 IF IT GETS TOO DARK, I CAN JUST WALK. 143 00:04:54,328 --> 00:04:56,296 OH, NO. NO, NO. 144 00:04:56,330 --> 00:04:58,699 I KNOW SOMETHING ABOUT BEING ALONE. 145 00:04:58,732 --> 00:05:00,300 I'LL STAY HERE AND WAIT WITH YOU. 146 00:05:02,370 --> 00:05:03,937 SO, DO YOU LIKE VIDEO GAMES? 147 00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:05,506 ARE YOU HITTING ON ME, COACH? 148 00:05:05,539 --> 00:05:07,708 ALL RIGHT. 149 00:05:14,348 --> 00:05:15,649 WHAT'S FOR DINNER? 150 00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:17,818 HOLD IT. WHAT'D YOU BRING THE FAT KID HOME FOR? 151 00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:19,319 I ONLY MADE FOOD FOR 40. 152 00:05:19,353 --> 00:05:21,154 HIS NAME IS DUDLEY, CANNON. 153 00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:22,690 THANK YOU, DANNY. 154 00:05:22,723 --> 00:05:24,024 HIS DAD DIDN'T SHOW, 155 00:05:24,057 --> 00:05:26,059 AND I WASN'T JUST GONNA LEAVE HIM AT THE FIELD. 156 00:05:26,093 --> 00:05:27,561 I'M GONNA TRY HIM AGAIN, OKAY? 157 00:05:27,595 --> 00:05:29,329 HEY, MOTHER TERESA. 158 00:05:29,363 --> 00:05:31,331 WHY DON'T YOU TRY AND JUST TAKE HIM HOME? 159 00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:32,833 BECAUSE I KNOW HOW SCARY IT CAN BE 160 00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:34,802 TO BE LEFT ALONE IN AN EMPTY HOUSE AT NIGHT. 161 00:05:34,835 --> 00:05:37,405 WELL, I'D LIKE TO BE LEFT ALONE IN AN EMPTY HOUSE AT NIGHT. 162 00:05:37,438 --> 00:05:39,006 WANT TO HEAR A KNOCK-KNOCK JOKE? 163 00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:40,408 WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK? 164 00:05:40,441 --> 00:05:42,075 KNOCK, KNOCK. 165 00:05:42,109 --> 00:05:43,911 KNOCK, KNOCK. 166 00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:46,714 KNOCK, KNOCK. YOU KNOW, CANNON, 167 00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:48,181 IT'S GONNA BE A LOT EASIER ON ALL OF US 168 00:05:48,215 --> 00:05:49,883 IF YOU JUST SAY "WHO'S THERE?" 169 00:05:51,018 --> 00:05:53,020 KNOCK, KNOCK. 170 00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:56,690 YES, MR. DOUGLAS. HE'S FINE. 171 00:05:56,724 --> 00:05:57,991 I... 172 00:05:58,025 --> 00:05:59,727 NO, I WILL NOT TELL YOUR SON 173 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:01,662 THAT YOUR EX-WIFE IS THAT WORD, 174 00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:04,398 NOR WILL I TELL YOUR EX-WIFE THAT SHE IS THAT WORD. 175 00:06:04,432 --> 00:06:05,833 YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS IS -- THIS CONVERSATION'S OVER. 176 00:06:05,866 --> 00:06:06,834 GOODBYE. 177 00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:09,069 HEY, TERRY. THIS GUY HAS TO GO. 178 00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:12,072 HE JUST TOLD ME 15 KNOCK-KNOCK JOKES IN A MINUTE 179 00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:14,442 WHILE INHALING A HALF A BOX OF CRACKERS, 180 00:06:14,475 --> 00:06:17,244 WHICH IS INCREDIBLE AND DISGUSTING. 181 00:06:17,277 --> 00:06:19,680 WELL, DUDLEY IS STAYING FOR DINNER. 182 00:06:19,713 --> 00:06:21,515 THAT OUGHT TO BE A GREAT SHOW. 183 00:06:21,549 --> 00:06:23,250 DUDLEY, YOUR PARENTS GOT THE SCHEDULES MIXED UP. 184 00:06:23,283 --> 00:06:25,085 YOUR DAD'S GETTING IN TOUCH WITH YOUR MOM, 185 00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:27,788 BUT UNTIL THEN, THIS IS YOUR HOUSE, OKAY? 186 00:06:27,821 --> 00:06:28,856 YES! 187 00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:30,624 UH, CAN I TAKE TWO ICE-CREAM SANDWICHES 188 00:06:30,658 --> 00:06:32,025 AND STACK THEM ON TOP OF EACH OTHER 189 00:06:32,059 --> 00:06:34,061 AND MAKE A DOUBLE-STUFFED ICE-CREAM SANDWICH? 190 00:06:34,094 --> 00:06:36,697 IF THAT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER, SURE. 191 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:39,099 YAY! NO RULES! 192 00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:40,834 TAKE THAT, CALORIE LOG. 193 00:06:42,069 --> 00:06:44,938 [ CHUCKLES ] HMM. OKAY. 194 00:06:44,972 --> 00:06:47,575 IF FATTY WANTS TO STAY, IT'S FINE. 195 00:06:47,608 --> 00:06:52,145 IF I FIND TEETH MARKS IN MY EASY CHAIR -- DONE. 196 00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:00,420 OKAY, YOUR MOM HAD AN EMERGENCY AT WORK, 197 00:07:00,454 --> 00:07:01,955 SO YOU'RE GONNA STAY WITH US, OKAY? 198 00:07:01,989 --> 00:07:03,256 YOU COMFORTABLE, BUDDY? 199 00:07:03,290 --> 00:07:04,124 [ FARTS ] 200 00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:05,593 NOW I AM. 201 00:07:05,626 --> 00:07:06,727 OKAY. ALL RIGHT. 202 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,496 YOU GUYS HAVE MY PERMISSION TO STAY UP 203 00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:09,897 AS LONG AS YOU LIKE, OKAY? 204 00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:12,733 THANKS, MOM-TERRY AND BROTHER-DANNY. 205 00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,301 LET'S JUST STICK TO OUR REGULAR NAMES. 206 00:07:14,334 --> 00:07:15,335 GOOD NIGHT. 207 00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:23,944 DANNY, ARE YOU STILL AWAKE? 208 00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:26,246 IT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE I HAVE MUCH OF A CHOICE. 209 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:29,149 HOW LONG HAVE YOUR PARENTS BEEN DIVORCED? 210 00:07:29,182 --> 00:07:30,518 ABOUT A YEAR NOW. 211 00:07:30,551 --> 00:07:32,920 DOESN'T IT SUCK HOW MUCH THEY STILL FIGHT? 212 00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:34,822 WELL...I DON'T KNOW. 213 00:07:34,855 --> 00:07:36,790 I MEAN, IT WASN'T REALLY LIKE THAT FOR ME. 214 00:07:36,824 --> 00:07:38,859 MY MOM SEEMS WAY HAPPIER NOW, 215 00:07:38,892 --> 00:07:40,661 AND I LIKE THE WAY THINGS ARE. 216 00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:42,162 YOU LUCKED OUT. 217 00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:44,031 MY DAD USED TO TUCK ME IN AT NIGHT 218 00:07:44,064 --> 00:07:46,299 AND GIVE ME SOMETHING TO SNUGGLE WITH. 219 00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:47,768 I MISS THAT. 220 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:52,005 IF I GIVE YOU MR. CUDDLES, WILL YOU STOP TALKING? 221 00:07:52,039 --> 00:07:52,973 YES. 222 00:07:59,747 --> 00:08:01,048 [ FARTS ] 223 00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:02,683 [ SIGHS ] 224 00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:04,051 YOU KNOW WHAT? 225 00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:05,986 KEEP THE BEAR. 226 00:08:14,427 --> 00:08:16,196 Danny: UGH! 227 00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:18,799 DUDLEY KEPT ME UP ALL NIGHT. 228 00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:21,034 I MEAN, HE COULD HAVE AT LEAST AIMED HIMSELF TOWARDS THE WALL. 229 00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:23,036 I KNOW. HE KEPT ME UP, TOO. 230 00:08:23,070 --> 00:08:24,638 HE WAS ROOTING THROUGH THAT CUPBOARD. 231 00:08:24,672 --> 00:08:26,974 SOUNDED LIKE A GOAT PLAYING THE DRUM SET. 232 00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:29,910 DUDLEY IS GOING THROUGH A VERY DIFFICULT TIME, DAD. 233 00:08:29,943 --> 00:08:31,712 NEITHER ONE OF HIS PARENTS ARE THERE FOR HIM. 234 00:08:31,745 --> 00:08:32,980 IMAGINE HOW HE FEELS. 235 00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:34,247 WELL, I CAN'T. 236 00:08:34,281 --> 00:08:36,216 HE ATE MY IMAGINATION. 237 00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:37,217 BE NICE. 238 00:08:38,085 --> 00:08:39,553 GOOD MORNING, DUDLEY. 239 00:08:39,587 --> 00:08:41,088 GOOD MORNING. 240 00:08:41,121 --> 00:08:43,691 I MADE YOU SOME EGGS... 241 00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:45,659 AND BACON. 242 00:08:45,693 --> 00:08:47,227 HEY, YOU JUST JACKED MY BACON. 243 00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:48,696 NO MANNERS, NO BACON. 244 00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:50,831 YOU JUST MAKE SURE YOU GO TO THAT SAFETY CLASS TODAY. 245 00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:51,865 [ DOORBELL RINGS ] 246 00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:52,866 OH, THAT'S PROBABLY YOUR MOM. 247 00:08:52,900 --> 00:08:53,934 HURRY AND FINISH UP, BUD. 248 00:08:53,967 --> 00:08:55,936 KNOCK, KNOCK. 249 00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:57,204 I KNOW WHO'S THERE -- 250 00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:59,072 MY BACON. 251 00:08:59,106 --> 00:09:01,208 TERRY, I AM SO SORRY FOR THE MIX UP. 252 00:09:01,241 --> 00:09:02,776 OH, IT'S NO PROBLEM. 253 00:09:02,810 --> 00:09:04,411 I JUST DON'T KNOW HOW SAFE IT IS 254 00:09:04,444 --> 00:09:05,946 LEAVING HIM OUT AT THE FIELD LIKE THAT. 255 00:09:05,979 --> 00:09:08,281 HIS FATHER TOLD ME THE NANNY WAS GONNA PICK DUDLEY UP, 256 00:09:08,315 --> 00:09:11,218 BUT CHANCES ARE, SHE'S IN PHOENIX WITH HIM. 257 00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:13,053 HEY, MOM. 258 00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:14,454 THERE'S MY BIG CAT. 259 00:09:14,487 --> 00:09:16,590 NOW, SAY THANKS AND GET IN THE CAR. 260 00:09:16,624 --> 00:09:18,125 THANKS, COACH. OF COURSE. 261 00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:19,426 ANYTIME, BUDDY. 262 00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:21,061 THANK YOU. 263 00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:22,796 MM-HMM. 264 00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:25,232 BYE. 265 00:09:26,466 --> 00:09:28,035 *** 266 00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,536 ALL RIGHT, WELCOME, COACHES. 267 00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:31,605 OVER THE NEXT FOUR HOURS, 268 00:09:31,639 --> 00:09:33,941 WE ARE GOING TO COVER ALL OF THE SAFETY PROCEDURES 269 00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:36,409 MANDATED BY WEST LAKE TOWNSHIP. 270 00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:38,211 NOW, AS YOU CAN SEE, 271 00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:40,380 THANKS TO LAST NIGHT'S ANGER-MANAGEMENT MEETING, 272 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,249 THEY'VE CLEARED OUT ALL OF OUR CHAIRS. 273 00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:43,984 [ LAUGHS ] 274 00:09:44,017 --> 00:09:45,986 I HAVE AN IDEA -- WHY DON'T WE JUST CIRCLE IT ON UP 275 00:09:46,019 --> 00:09:47,287 AND HAVE A SEAT ON THE FLOOR? 276 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:48,656 COME ON, GUYS. 277 00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:52,425 UH, MR. GANNON, WHY DON'T YOU JOIN US HERE ON THE FLOOR? 278 00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:54,394 SEE, I-I-I LIVED THROUGH THE '60s, 279 00:09:54,427 --> 00:09:57,765 AND I HAVE NO INTEREST WHATSOEVER IN EATING CURRY 280 00:09:57,798 --> 00:09:59,099 OR PASSING AROUND THE PEACE PIPE 281 00:09:59,132 --> 00:10:00,567 OR PLAYING "DUCK, DUCK, GOOSE." 282 00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,837 I DON'T DO FLOORS, SHELDON. 283 00:10:03,871 --> 00:10:05,639 FINE. 284 00:10:05,673 --> 00:10:06,974 LET'S BEGIN. 285 00:10:07,007 --> 00:10:10,844 WHAT IS SAFETY? 286 00:10:11,979 --> 00:10:16,784 SAFETY ALWAYS FEELS EXCELLENT TOGETHER... 287 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,321 YAY! 288 00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:22,522 M... 289 00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:24,124 O... 290 00:10:24,157 --> 00:10:25,025 R... 291 00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:26,459 O-N -- 292 00:10:26,493 --> 00:10:29,262 MORON. YAY. 293 00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:33,834 THAT MAN DOES NOT SPEAK FOR MY LEAGUE, TO BE CLEAR. 294 00:10:33,867 --> 00:10:35,936 FLAG ON THE PLAY. THAT'S NOT SAFE SPEECH. 295 00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:37,637 [ GRUNTS ] 296 00:10:37,671 --> 00:10:42,175 *** 297 00:10:42,209 --> 00:10:44,044 HEY, DUDLEY. 298 00:10:44,077 --> 00:10:45,478 WHAT A SURPRISE. 299 00:10:45,512 --> 00:10:47,347 HEY, COACH MOM-TERRY. 300 00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:50,818 UH, HEY, MOM, YOU KNOW, CAN I TALK TO YOU REAL QUICK? 301 00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:55,455 DUDLEY JUST KIND OF FOLLOWED ME HOME. 302 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,057 I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. 303 00:10:57,090 --> 00:10:59,059 HE JUST SEEMS REALLY LONELY, YOU KNOW? 304 00:10:59,092 --> 00:10:59,993 OKAY. 305 00:11:00,027 --> 00:11:01,862 YOU KNOW WHAT? LET ME TALK TO HIM ALONE. 306 00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:03,096 ALL RIGHT. THANKS. 307 00:11:06,033 --> 00:11:07,300 HEY. 308 00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:08,736 [ CLEARS THROAT ] 309 00:11:08,769 --> 00:11:10,070 HOW'S IT GOING? 310 00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:11,972 I'VE BEEN BETTER. 311 00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,306 YEAH. 312 00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:15,142 YEAH, I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. 313 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:19,379 AFTER MY MOM DIED, MY DAD WAS HARDLY EVER THERE FOR ME. 314 00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:22,015 I'M A GROWN-UP, AND IT STILL HURTS. 315 00:11:22,049 --> 00:11:23,350 BUT YOU NEED TO KNOW, BUDDY, 316 00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:25,986 YOUR PARENTS' DIVORCE IS NOT YOUR FAULT. 317 00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:29,990 I JUST WISH THINGS COULD GO BACK TO THE WAY THEY WERE. 318 00:11:30,023 --> 00:11:32,459 THEY DON'T EVEN GO TO MY GAMES ANYMORE. 319 00:11:33,727 --> 00:11:34,728 BUT I DON'T BLAME THEM. 320 00:11:34,762 --> 00:11:36,864 I MEAN, WHO WANTS TO SEE A FAT KID 321 00:11:36,897 --> 00:11:38,899 STRIKE OUT FIVE TIMES IN A ROW? 322 00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:45,238 *** 323 00:11:45,272 --> 00:11:47,040 [ GRUNTING ] 324 00:11:47,074 --> 00:11:50,177 LET'S REMEMBER OUR CPR TECHNIQUE, GENTLEMEN. 325 00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:53,080 IT'S 30 COMPRESSIONS AND 2 BREATHS. 326 00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:55,282 PUCKER UP, SWEETHEART. I JUST ATE A MEATBALL SANDWICH. 327 00:11:55,315 --> 00:11:56,784 OH, COME ON! 328 00:11:56,817 --> 00:11:58,118 I-I WANT A DIFFERENT PARTNER! 329 00:11:58,151 --> 00:12:00,053 AND I'D LIKE MY WIFE BACK. 330 00:12:00,087 --> 00:12:01,889 UNRESPONSIVE! 331 00:12:01,922 --> 00:12:03,957 [ GRUNTS ] OHH! 332 00:12:03,991 --> 00:12:06,026 HE'S BACK. HE'S BACK. 333 00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,028 GOOD TEAMWORK, GUYS. THANK YOU. 334 00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:12,099 *** 335 00:12:12,132 --> 00:12:14,401 OH, UH -- UH, SHELDON, 336 00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:16,636 I-I REALLY WANT A DIFFERENT PARTNER THIS TIME. 337 00:12:16,669 --> 00:12:18,872 CAN -- CAN I WORK WITH DENNIS THIS TIME JUST -- HOLD IT. JUST A SECOND. 338 00:12:18,906 --> 00:12:20,240 WHAT DO YOU THINK -- I'M A CRAZY PERSON? 339 00:12:20,273 --> 00:12:21,942 DO YOU REALLY BELIEVE FOR ONE SECOND 340 00:12:21,975 --> 00:12:23,410 THAT I'D HIT YOU WITH THIS BAT? 341 00:12:23,443 --> 00:12:24,644 EXACTLY. THE CANNON IS RIGHT. 342 00:12:24,677 --> 00:12:26,613 LOOK, IF YOU SEE ANYONE HOLDING A BASEBALL BAT, 343 00:12:26,646 --> 00:12:29,049 YOU MAKE SURE THAT NO ONE IS WITHIN 5 FEET 344 00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:31,051 OF THAT PERSON'S SAFETY BUBBLE. 345 00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,719 TODAY WE'RE USING WIFFLE-BALL BATS, 346 00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:36,156 BUT THERE IS NO COMPARISON TO THE PAIN OF WALKING HOME 347 00:12:36,189 --> 00:12:39,659 AND SEEING THAT YOUR WIFE HAS LEFT YOU FOR YOUR SISTER. 348 00:12:39,692 --> 00:12:41,628 RIGHT, BUT HE'S WITHIN 5 FEET OF MY -- 349 00:12:41,661 --> 00:12:43,396 AAH! 350 00:12:43,430 --> 00:12:45,065 HE WAS IN MY BUBBLE. DID YOU SEE THAT? 351 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:46,633 HE WAS IN MY BUBBLE. [ GROANING ] 352 00:12:46,666 --> 00:12:48,268 TRUST ME, DICK. 353 00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:50,470 *** 354 00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:52,072 [ BEES BUZZING ] AAH! 355 00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:55,142 ALL RIGHT, THIS EXERCISE WILL DEMONSTRATE 356 00:12:55,175 --> 00:12:57,144 WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO COMPLETELY TRUST 357 00:12:57,177 --> 00:12:58,311 ONE OF YOUR COACHES. 358 00:12:58,345 --> 00:13:00,480 REMEMBER, IF YOUR KIDS DON'T TRUST YOU, 359 00:13:00,513 --> 00:13:02,149 THEY DON'T FEEL SAFE. 360 00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:04,484 BOY, DENNIS, I'M GLAD YOU'RE MY PARTNER. 361 00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:06,653 I FEEL SAFE. 362 00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:08,488 SO, WHERE ARE YOU FROM, MAN? 363 00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:12,125 IT'S A LITTLE WEIRD YOU'RE NOT ANSWERING ME. 364 00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:15,328 AND IF YOU'RE READY, YOU CAN GO. 365 00:13:15,362 --> 00:13:17,130 SLOW DOWN, DENNIS. 366 00:13:17,164 --> 00:13:18,165 TALK TO ME, MAN. 367 00:13:18,198 --> 00:13:19,933 [ SNIFFS ] I SMELL COLOGNE. 368 00:13:19,967 --> 00:13:21,134 NO. AAH! 369 00:13:21,168 --> 00:13:24,804 *** 370 00:13:24,838 --> 00:13:26,974 WANT TO GO AGAIN, DICKIE? YOU KNOW SOMETHING? 371 00:13:27,007 --> 00:13:29,276 THIS ISN'T JUST ABOUT YOU HAVING FUN TERRORIZING ME. 372 00:13:29,309 --> 00:13:31,011 INSTEAD OF BANGING ME AROUND, 373 00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:33,146 YOU COULD HAVE USED THIS OPPORTUNITY TO LEARN SOMETHING. 374 00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:36,016 I DID. I-I LEARNED IT'S FUNNY WHEN YOUR FACE HITS A DOOR. 375 00:13:36,049 --> 00:13:37,184 YOU KNOW WHAT? 376 00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:40,153 I CANNOT IMAGINE GROWING UP WITH YOU AS MY DAD. 377 00:13:40,187 --> 00:13:42,455 IT'S NO WONDER TERRY'S A FRICKIN' DISASTER. 378 00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:43,957 LISTEN, YOU PIECE OF CRAP. YEAH. COME ON. LET'S GO. 379 00:13:43,991 --> 00:13:45,792 WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. HEY, GUYS. GUYS, WHAT'S GOING ON HERE? 380 00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:47,394 I WAS OVER HERE, YOU KNOW, 381 00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:49,462 JUST TRYING TO GET INTO MY SAFETY BUBBLE. 382 00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:52,365 UGH, WOW. AND THEN THIS GUY COMES AND GETS IN MY FACE. 383 00:13:52,399 --> 00:13:53,800 THAT OLD BASTARD IS LYING TO YOU RIGHT NOW! 384 00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:56,136 HE'S LYING! SEE, THAT IS HURT SPEECH. 385 00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:58,071 YEAH. AND I FEEL VERY UNSAFE. 386 00:13:58,105 --> 00:13:59,806 DICK, HAVEN'T YOU LEARNED ANYTHING HERE? 387 00:13:59,839 --> 00:14:00,807 NO! GUESS NOT. 388 00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,309 NO! NO, HE HASN'T. 389 00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:04,544 AND I FORTUNATELY HAVE. 390 00:14:04,577 --> 00:14:07,047 I MEAN, JUST COMING TO THIS SAFETY SEMINAR, 391 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:08,982 I'VE LEARNED QUITE A BIT ABOUT MYSELF. 392 00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:10,183 I'VE LEARNED, YOU KNOW, 393 00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:12,852 TO RESPECT AND ENJOY MY TIME WITH THE KIDS. 394 00:14:12,886 --> 00:14:14,988 [ CHUCKLES ] AND, UH, ALSO, I... 395 00:14:15,022 --> 00:14:18,558 I LEARNED I HAVE TO GET DEEP INSIDE MYSELF, 396 00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:20,160 YOU KNOW, TO FIND A BETTER MAN, 397 00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:23,230 SO THESE KIDS WON'T BE F-FRIGHTENED OR SCARED. 398 00:14:23,263 --> 00:14:25,398 WOW. SO, WHAT I'M SAYING IS, 399 00:14:25,432 --> 00:14:26,934 THANKS A LOT, SHELDON, 400 00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:28,101 AND, UH... 401 00:14:28,135 --> 00:14:29,836 [SIGHS] I GUESS I'LL SEE YOU ON THE FIELD 402 00:14:29,869 --> 00:14:30,938 FOR MY EVALUATION. 403 00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:32,072 THANKS AGAIN. 404 00:14:32,105 --> 00:14:34,041 LOOK AT THAT. SOMEONE WAS LISTENING. 405 00:14:34,074 --> 00:14:35,342 YOU HEAR THAT, DICK? OH, I HEARD IT. 406 00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:36,743 IT WORKS. MM-HMM. 407 00:14:36,776 --> 00:14:38,511 CANNON, WAY TO GO. WAY TO GO, CANNON. 408 00:14:38,545 --> 00:14:41,581 I'M GRANTING YOU PERMISSION TO ENTER MY BUBBLE. 409 00:14:41,614 --> 00:14:43,450 *** 410 00:14:43,483 --> 00:14:44,784 YEAH. 411 00:14:44,817 --> 00:14:45,818 [ CHUCKLES ] 412 00:14:48,055 --> 00:14:49,389 I MISS HER SO MUCH, CANNON. 413 00:14:52,125 --> 00:14:53,927 [ NO AUDIO ] 414 00:14:59,933 --> 00:15:01,168 OH, MR. DOUGLAS, IT WOULD JUST BE SO GREAT 415 00:15:01,201 --> 00:15:02,936 IF YOU CHANGED YOUR MIND, TOOK THE HIGH ROAD WITH YOUR WIFE, 416 00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:04,704 AND JUST SHOWED UP TO DUDLEY'S GAME. 417 00:15:04,737 --> 00:15:07,941 I'M OUT OF WINGS AND BLUE CHEESE. 418 00:15:07,975 --> 00:15:09,476 I REALLY LOVE BLUE CHEESE. 419 00:15:09,509 --> 00:15:12,045 CHELLE -- 20 MORE, EXTRA BLUE. 420 00:15:12,079 --> 00:15:12,980 LOOK AT THAT. THEY'RE ON THEIR WAY. 421 00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:14,381 AND THERE'LL BE MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM 422 00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:15,615 IF YOU SHOW UP TO THE GAME. 423 00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:18,785 LOOK, IT'S NOT MY CUSTODY DAY. I GOT PLANS. 424 00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:20,553 ANYWAY, DO I REALLY WANT TO BE IN THE STANDS 425 00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:21,721 AND HAVE MY WIFE YELL AT ME 426 00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:23,556 FOR TRYING TO BE HAPPY FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE? 427 00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:24,757 WHAT ABOUT YOUR SON? 428 00:15:24,791 --> 00:15:25,925 DUDLEY KNOWS I LOVE HIM. 429 00:15:25,959 --> 00:15:27,094 I DON'T THINK HE DOES. 430 00:15:27,127 --> 00:15:28,561 HE NEEDS YOU THERE. 431 00:15:28,595 --> 00:15:31,498 YOU KNOW WHAT? DON'T TELL ME WHAT MY SON NEEDS. 432 00:15:31,531 --> 00:15:33,866 CANCEL THE WINGS. I LOST MY APPETITE. 433 00:15:35,002 --> 00:15:36,003 OY. 434 00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:39,973 ALL RIGHT, LULU. PLAN "B." 435 00:15:40,007 --> 00:15:42,175 DON'T WORRY, DARLING. I'LL GET HIM THERE. 436 00:15:42,209 --> 00:15:43,276 EXCUSE ME. 437 00:15:43,310 --> 00:15:44,644 UM, SWEETHEART, 438 00:15:44,677 --> 00:15:47,180 I COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE YOU DRIVE A JAGUAR. 439 00:15:47,981 --> 00:15:50,017 COACH TERRY! 440 00:15:50,050 --> 00:15:51,918 BOTH OF MY PARENTS ARE HERE! 441 00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:53,987 I'M GONNA GET A HIT TODAY! I CAN JUST FEEL IT! 442 00:15:54,021 --> 00:15:56,156 I KNOW YOU ARE, BUDDY. 443 00:15:56,189 --> 00:15:57,690 THE DAY THAT KID GETS A HIT -- 444 00:15:57,724 --> 00:16:00,627 YOU SAY ONE NEGATIVE THING ABOUT DUDLEY, SO HELP ME, 445 00:16:00,660 --> 00:16:02,429 I WILL MAKE A COLOGNE-FLAVORED POPSICLE OUT OF YOU 446 00:16:02,462 --> 00:16:03,430 WITH THAT BASEBALL BAT. 447 00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:04,964 IF YOU'D JUST LET ME FINISH. 448 00:16:04,998 --> 00:16:07,000 I WAS GONNA SAY THE DAY THAT KID GETS A HIT 449 00:16:07,034 --> 00:16:09,236 WOULD PROBABLY BE TODAY. 450 00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:12,139 UM... 451 00:16:12,172 --> 00:16:13,706 BUD? 452 00:16:13,740 --> 00:16:15,642 STEPPING INTO YOUR BUBBLE. 453 00:16:15,675 --> 00:16:18,445 I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT YOU'RE, UH... 454 00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:20,647 YOU'RE A FANTASTIC PERSON. 455 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:23,116 AND, YOU KNOW... GOOD THINGS. 456 00:16:23,150 --> 00:16:25,118 SO, YOU -- Y-YOU FIND ME AFTER THE GAME, 457 00:16:25,152 --> 00:16:27,520 AND I'M GONNA PUT ONE OF THOSE RAINBOW STICKERS RIGHT ON YOUR HELMET. 458 00:16:27,554 --> 00:16:29,789 WILL YOU PUT KITTY WHISKERS ON MY FACE? 459 00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:32,192 YEAH. YEAH. 460 00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:33,793 YOU JUST FIND ME. 461 00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:35,962 POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT, SHEL. 462 00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:37,897 KIDS NEED THAT. 463 00:16:37,930 --> 00:16:39,566 SAFETY. 464 00:16:39,599 --> 00:16:41,768 STEPPING OUT. 465 00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:45,172 All: ONE, TWO, THREE -- CARDINALS! 466 00:16:45,205 --> 00:16:46,206 *** 467 00:16:46,239 --> 00:16:48,175 GREAT. 468 00:16:48,208 --> 00:16:49,876 EYE OF THE KITTY, BUDDY. 469 00:16:49,909 --> 00:16:51,511 EYE OF THE KITTY. 470 00:16:51,544 --> 00:16:53,180 [ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ] 471 00:16:53,213 --> 00:16:54,647 GET YOUR FINGER OUT OF MY FACE! OH, NO. OH, NO, NO, NO. 472 00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:56,015 DON'T YOU WAVE YOUR FINGER AT ME! I'LL PUT MY FINGER WHEREVER... 473 00:16:56,049 --> 00:16:57,817 UNBELIEVABLE. 474 00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:58,818 LET'S GO, BUDDY. 475 00:16:58,851 --> 00:17:01,554 *** 476 00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:09,028 YEAH! YEAH!YEAH! YEAH! 477 00:17:09,062 --> 00:17:10,897 *** 478 00:17:10,930 --> 00:17:13,366 [ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ] 479 00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:18,905 *** 480 00:17:18,938 --> 00:17:19,872 RUN! 481 00:17:19,906 --> 00:17:21,441 COME ON! COME ON! 482 00:17:21,474 --> 00:17:22,775 COME ON, BUDDY! 483 00:17:22,809 --> 00:17:23,910 YOU'RE OUT! 484 00:17:23,943 --> 00:17:24,911 [ SPECTATORS GROAN ] 485 00:17:24,944 --> 00:17:26,546 HE'S NOT OUT! COME ON, COACH. 486 00:17:26,579 --> 00:17:28,281 THAT THROW BEAT YOUR KID'S FOOT THERE BY A MILE. 487 00:17:28,315 --> 00:17:29,916 I DON'T CARE WHERE HIS FOOT WAS. 488 00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:31,284 YEAH, BUT THAT'S KIND OF THE WHOLE POINT. 489 00:17:31,318 --> 00:17:33,286 NO, IT'S NOT THE POINT, OKAY? 490 00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:37,124 THESE -- THESE KIDS NEED TO FEEL SAFE. 491 00:17:37,157 --> 00:17:38,958 OKAY, THEY SHOULDN'T HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS ALONE. 492 00:17:38,991 --> 00:17:41,294 YOU NEED TO BE THERE, AND YOU NEED TO PAY ATTENTION. 493 00:17:41,328 --> 00:17:42,595 ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 494 00:17:42,629 --> 00:17:44,097 I'M GONNA NEED YOU TO GO BACK TO THE DUGOUT 495 00:17:44,131 --> 00:17:45,432 AND TAKE WHATEVER IT IS 496 00:17:45,465 --> 00:17:46,999 THAT YOUR DOCTOR PRESCRIBED YOU. 497 00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:49,035 DO YOU SEE THIS? 498 00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:51,571 DO YOU SEE THIS? DO YOU SEE IT?! 499 00:17:51,604 --> 00:17:53,306 HIS FOOT TOUCHED THIS BAG. 500 00:17:53,340 --> 00:17:56,143 THAT IS SUPPOSED TO MEAN HE IS SAFE, OKAY?! 501 00:17:56,176 --> 00:17:58,278 IN FACT, THIS SHOULD BE THE SAFEST PLACE ON EARTH! 502 00:17:58,311 --> 00:17:59,746 IT DOESN'T WORK LIKE THAT, LADY. 503 00:18:01,181 --> 00:18:02,115 "LADY"?! 504 00:18:05,118 --> 00:18:06,953 THAT IS EXACTLY HOW IT WORKS! 505 00:18:06,986 --> 00:18:08,988 BECAUSE THAT IS THE JOB WE SIGNED UP FOR 506 00:18:09,021 --> 00:18:11,258 AS PARENTS AND AS COACHES, OKAY?! 507 00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:13,092 LET'S GO. UGH! 508 00:18:13,126 --> 00:18:15,462 HEY, THAT WAS A GREAT HIT TODAY, DUD. 509 00:18:15,495 --> 00:18:17,430 GREAT JOB. PROUD OF YOU. 510 00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:19,065 YOU DIDN'T CALL ME "FAT KID." 511 00:18:19,098 --> 00:18:20,933 WELL, DON'T WORRY. I WILL NEXT TIME. 512 00:18:20,967 --> 00:18:22,569 GOOD HIT. 513 00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:25,938 *** 514 00:18:25,972 --> 00:18:27,540 NO! NO! 515 00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:34,113 [ GRUNTS ] 516 00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:39,586 HEY. HEY. 517 00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:41,120 THAT LITTLE BLOWUP YOU HAD TODAY, 518 00:18:41,154 --> 00:18:43,022 UH, MADE ME REALLY PROUD, JUNIOR. 519 00:18:43,055 --> 00:18:44,424 [ CHUCKLES ] 520 00:18:44,457 --> 00:18:47,660 I GUESS BABYING THE FAT KID WOUND YOU UP A LITTLE, RIGHT? 521 00:18:47,694 --> 00:18:49,962 DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY I WAS BABYING DUDLEY? 522 00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:51,164 NO, NOT REALLY. 523 00:18:51,198 --> 00:18:53,766 BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT HIM TO FEEL ABANDONED 524 00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:55,468 LIKE I DID WHEN I WAS A KID. 525 00:18:55,502 --> 00:18:57,036 "ABANDONED"? 526 00:18:57,069 --> 00:18:58,538 WHO DID THAT? 527 00:18:58,571 --> 00:19:00,307 WHAT DO YOU CALL LEAVING A 10-YEAR-OLD 528 00:19:00,340 --> 00:19:03,042 IN A MEXICAN HOTEL ROOM WITH A STRANGE WOMAN FOR A MONTH? 529 00:19:03,075 --> 00:19:04,143 CLUB MED? 530 00:19:05,178 --> 00:19:07,647 LOOK...JUANITA -- 531 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:11,384 SHE WAS A TERRIFIC LADY AND -- AND A GREAT CARETAKER, 532 00:19:11,418 --> 00:19:13,786 AND I WAS SURE THAT YOU'D BE SAFE WITH HER. 533 00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:16,155 UH, BY THE WAY, WHAT THE HECK CAN I DO ABOUT IT NOW? 534 00:19:16,189 --> 00:19:19,058 WHY DID YOU LEAVE ME LIKE THAT? 535 00:19:19,091 --> 00:19:20,893 YOU KNOW, MOM HAD JUST DIED. 536 00:19:20,927 --> 00:19:22,895 YOU LEFT ME WITH A COMPLETE STRANGER. 537 00:19:22,929 --> 00:19:24,163 WHAT DID I DO? 538 00:19:24,197 --> 00:19:26,399 NO. 539 00:19:26,433 --> 00:19:29,402 YOU DID... 540 00:19:29,436 --> 00:19:31,103 I MEAN, YOU DID NOTHING. 541 00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:34,040 YOU KNOW, WHEN MOM -- 542 00:19:34,073 --> 00:19:37,043 WHEN MOM DIED, I, UH... 543 00:19:37,076 --> 00:19:41,080 I DID A LOT MORE THAN JUST DRINK A LITTLE BIT. 544 00:19:41,113 --> 00:19:43,049 UH... 545 00:19:43,082 --> 00:19:46,486 I WAS A MESS. 546 00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:50,423 SO I FIGURED, UH, IF I LEFT YOU WITH, UH... 547 00:19:50,457 --> 00:19:52,825 SOMEBODY I TRUSTED -- REALLY TRUSTED -- 548 00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:56,095 THAT YOU'D BE, YOU KNOW, A LOT BETTER OFF THAN BEING WITH ME. 549 00:19:57,597 --> 00:20:01,000 I REALLY DIDN'T WANT YOU TO SEE ME LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW? 550 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:04,504 AND, UH, SO I JUST THOUGHT I DID, UH, 551 00:20:04,537 --> 00:20:06,273 YOU KNOW, THE BEST THAT I COULD. 552 00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:10,076 YOU SURE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING, HONEY. 553 00:20:11,378 --> 00:20:12,812 I'M SORRY. 554 00:20:14,113 --> 00:20:15,648 DAD. 555 00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:19,085 [ SIGHS ] 556 00:20:19,118 --> 00:20:24,691 *** 557 00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:26,426 WHERE DID YOU GO WHEN YOU LEFT? 558 00:20:26,459 --> 00:20:29,095 SOME MEXICAN BETTY FORD KIND OF THING. 559 00:20:29,128 --> 00:20:30,129 BUT YOU STILL DRINK. 560 00:20:30,162 --> 00:20:32,064 WELL, IT WAS IN MEXICAN. 561 00:20:32,098 --> 00:20:34,033 I MEAN, I-I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND ANYTHING THEY SAID. 562 00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:37,136 [ LAUGHS ] 563 00:20:44,110 --> 00:20:46,045 KNOCK, KNOCK. 564 00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:47,680 KNOCK, KNOCK. 565 00:20:49,782 --> 00:20:50,917 KNOCK, KNOCK. 566 00:20:52,184 --> 00:20:53,820 KNOCK, KNOCK. 567 00:20:55,187 --> 00:20:56,155 KNOCK, KNOCK. 568 00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:57,990 KNOCK, KNOCK. 569 00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:00,493 KNOCK, KNOCK. 570 00:21:01,994 --> 00:21:03,129 KNOCK, KNOCK. 571 00:21:04,597 --> 00:21:06,165 KNOCK, KNOCK. 572 00:21:07,334 --> 00:21:08,935 KNOCK, KNOCK. 573 00:21:10,036 --> 00:21:11,471 KNOCK, KNOCK. 574 00:21:11,504 --> 00:21:13,673 KNOCK, KNOCK. 575 00:21:13,706 --> 00:21:14,974 KNOCK, KNOCK. 576 00:21:15,007 --> 00:21:17,444 [ CRICKETS CHIRPING ] KNOCK, KNOCK. 577 00:21:17,477 --> 00:21:19,479 KNOCK, KNOCK.