GIRL I believe we have a choice in this world
about how to tell sad stories.
On the one hand, you can sugarcoat it
the way they do in movies
and romance novels, where beautiful people
learn beautiful lessons, where nothing is too messed up
that can't be fixed with an apology and a Peter Gabriel song.
I like that version as much as the next girl does, believe me.
It's just not the truth.
This is the truth.
Sorry.
Late in the winter of my 17th year...
...my mother decided that I was depressed.
She just eats like a bird, she barely leaves the house.
I am not depressed, Mom.
She's reading the same book over and over.
-She's depressed. -I'm not depressed!
The booklets and the Web sites
always list depression as a side effect of cancer.
Depression's not a side effect of cancer.
It's a side effect of dying.
Here you go, sweetie.
Which is what was happening to me.
Hi. Can I help you?
Would you like anything to drink with that?
Um, just a cup of water if you could.
I may switch you to Zoloft
or Lexapro.
And twice a day instead of once.
Why stop there?
-Hmm? -Really. Just keep them coming.
I'm like the Keith Richards of cancer kids.
Have you been going to that support group I suggested?
-Yeah, it's not my thing. -Support groups can be
a great way for you to connect with people who are...
Who are... what?
On the same journey.
"Journey," really?
Give it a chance.
Who knows, you might even find it enlightening.
All right.
You guys ready?
We are gathered here today literally...
...in the heart of Jesus.
We're here with J.C.
Who wants to share their story with the group?
I'm Angel. I have acute myeloid leukemia.
Sid. Acute lymphoblastic leukemia.
Hi. I'm P.J. Um, I have neuroblastoma.
I'm Patrick. Testicular.
I'll spare you the gory details of Patrick's ball cancer.
Basically, they found it in his nuts.
They cut most of it out,
and he almost died, but he didn't die.
So now here he is, divorced, friendless,
living on his parents' couch,
exploiting his cancer-tastic past
in the heart of Jesus, literally,
to show us that one day, if we're lucky,
we could be just like him.
Who's next?
Hazel?
Um... I'm Hazel.
Uh, thyroid originally, but now
with quite the impressive satellite colony in my lungs.
And... and... and how are you doing?
Uh, you mean besides the terminal cancer?
All right, I guess.
We're here for you, Hazel.
Why don't I play another song?
Hey, sweet pea.
So... was it awesome?
"Yeah, Mom, it was awesome."
And that was my life: Reality shows,
doctor's appointments,
eight prescription drugs, three times a day.
But worst, worst, worst of all, support group.
-You cannot make me. -Of course we can.
-We're you're parents. -Come on, we've been through this.
You need to go. You need to make friends.
-Be a teenager. -Mom, if you want me
to be a teenager, you don't send me to support group.
You got to, like, get me
a fake I.D. so that I can go to clubs
and drink gimlets and take pot.
Uh, you don't "take" pot.
-Um... -Okay, well,
that is the kind of thing I would know with a fake I.D.
Can you just get in the car, please?
And so I went.
Not because I wanted to
or because I thought it would help me,
but for the same reason I did anything these days:
to make my parents happy.
I really don't understand why I can't just drive myself.
It's not like you're gonna do anything.
You're just gonna sit here and wait again.
Of course I'm not.
No, I'm, I've got stuff to do.
I'm gonna do errands.
-Yeah. -I love you.
-I love you, too. -Have fun.
The only thing worse than biting it from cancer
is having a kid bite it from cancer.
Hey! Make some friends.
Oh, sorry.
-I'll take the stairs. -No problem.
Thank you.
-Sorry.
My bad.
I'm sorry.
Oh, my God.
So, who'd like to start?
Does anyone want to start?
Who wants to kick it off?
Go ahead.
I'm Beth. I have spindle cell sarcoma.
It's been an okay week.
I've, uh, I've been sleeping a lot more.
I'm not as sluggish...
We're here for you, Beth.
Isaac, I know that you're facing
some challenges right now.
Do you want to, uh, share with the group?
Or maybe your friend here?
No, I'll share.
Hey, guys.
Uh, hi. Uh, I'm Isaac.
I have, uh, retinoblastoma.
We had surgery on one eye when I was younger,
so this is a glass eye, and then I'm going
into the hospital to have another surgery
to take out the other eye.
Um, so after that surgery, I'm just gonna be totally blind.
But I'm lucky 'cause I have this beautiful,
smoking-hot girlfriend who's way out of my league.
Monica.
And, uh, I have great friends like
Augustus Waters to, you know, help me out.
So that's what's up.
Thanks.
We're here for you, Isaac.
Thank you.
Your turn, Gus.
Yeah, sure.
Uh, I'm, uh, I'm Augustus Waters.
I'm 18 years old, and, um,
I had a touch of osteosarcoma about a year and a half ago.
So I... I lost this baby as a result.
And, uh, now I'm part cyborg, which is awesome.
But, really, I'm just here at Isaac's request.
-Yep. -And, uh, how are you feeling, Gus?
I'm grand, yeah.
I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, my friend.
Maybe you'd like to share your fears with the group.
My fears?
Oblivion.
-Oblivion? -Yeah.
You see, I intend to live an extraordinary life, to be remembered.
So I'd say if I have any fears, it would be to not do that.
Would anyone else in the group like to speak to that?
Hazel?
Unexpected.
Yeah, I just wanted to say that, you know,
there's gonna come a time when all of us are dead.
There was a time before humans, and there's
gonna be a time after, and it could be tomorrow,
it could be a million years from now.
And when it does, there will be no one left
to remember Cleopatra or Muhammad Ali or Mozart,
let alone any of us.
Oblivion's inevitable, and if that scares you,
then I suggest you ignore it.
God knows it's what everyone else does.
Well, that's some good advice.
I like all this, 'cause it's... it's really...
...nice to hear everybody
tell each other how they feel.
-Thank you. -Mm-hmm.
-Always. -Always.
-- Always. -- Always.
-Always. -Always.
"Literally."
I thought we were in a church basement, but apparently,
we were literally in the heart of Jesus.
Oh, yeah.
What's your name?
Hazel.
No, what's your full name?
Hazel Grace Lancaster.
What?
-I didn't say anything. -Why are you looking at me like that?
-Because you're beautiful. -Oh, my God.
I enjoy looking at beautiful people.
-I... -See, I decided a while back
not to deny myself the simpler pleasures of existence,
particularly, as you so astutely pointed out,
we're all gonna die pretty soon.
Okay, well, that's great,
-but I am not beautiful. -Hey, Gus.
Hi, Lisa.
I like it when you say it first.
-I like it when you say it first. -Okay.
-Always. -Always.
What's with the "always"?
"Always" is, like, their thing,
like they'll always love each other and whatnot.
-- Always? -- Always.
They probably texted "always" to each other, like,
14 million times this year.
He's got to be hurting her boob.
Let's go watch a movie.
What?
-Hmm? -Huh?
Um, I'm... I'm free later this week.
-We could... -No, I mean now.
You could be an ax murderer.
There's always that possibility.
Come on, Hazel Grace, take a risk.
I don't...
Really?
That is disgusting!
What?
What, do you think that that's cool or something?
You just ruined this whole thing.
-The whole thing? -Yes! This whole thing.
Oh, man.
You were doing really well, too.
God. There's always a hamartia, isn't there?
And yours is, even though you had freaking cancer,
you're willing to give money to a corporation
for the chance to acquire even more cancer?
Let me just tell you that not being able to breathe sucks.
It totally sucks!
"Hamartia"?
It's a fatal flaw.
Ah, fatal...
Hazel Grace, they don't actually hurt you unless you light them.
Hmm?
I never lit one.
It's a metaphor, see?
You put the thing that does the killing
right between your teeth,
but you never give it the power to kill you.
A metaphor.
Hey, sweetheart.
Is it Top Model time?
No.
Uh, I've made plans with Augustus Waters.
Oh!
Oh, my God.
Whew.
Yeah, I failed my test a couple times.
You don't say?
Actually, the fourth time I took the test,
it was going about how this is going,
and when it was over,
the instructor looks over at me, and she says,
"Your driving, while unpleasant, is not technically unsafe."
Cancer perk.
Total cancer perk.
So, tell me about you.
Um, I was 13 when they found it.
Pretty much worst-case scenario.
Thyroid, stage four.
Not much they could do,
which didn't stop them, of course.
Surgery, radiation,
chemo, more radiation.
All of which worked for a while,
but then stopped working.
-And then one day, my lungs
-started filling up with water. -Nurse!
We need a nurse right now!
I couldn't breathe.
No one could get it under control.
You can let go, sweetie.
Don't be afraid.
That should've been the end.
Oh, my God.
But then something strange happened.
The antibiotics kicked in.
They drained the fluid from my lungs.
I got some strength back.
Next thing I know, I found myself
in an experimental trial.
You know, the ones that are famous
in the Republic of Cancervania for not working?
It's called Phalanxifor.
It didn't work in over 70% of the patients,
but for some reason, it's been working for me.
So they called it the miracle.
Of course, my lungs still suck at being lungs,
but theoretically, they could continue
to suck like this for, I don't know, a while maybe.
So are you back in school?
I... I got my GED,
so I'm taking classes at MCC.
Whoa! A college girl.
Well, that explains the aura of sophistication.
Oh, careful!
Oops.
Welcome to my humble abode.
Uh, my folks call them encouragements.
Don't ask.
Hi, guys!
Hey.
Augustus, hi.
New friend?
Yeah. Uh, this is Hazel Grace.
Hey. Oh, it's just Hazel.
How's it going, Just Hazel?
Hi, Hazel. How are you?
Yeah, we're going downstairs. Bye.
-Nice to meet you guys. -Bye.
-Bye. Nice to meet you, too. -Nice to meet you, too.
This is it. Augusto World.
-This is my room. -Wow.
That's an impressive collection.
Yeah, I used to play.
Do you mind if I sit down?
Yeah, make yourself at home.
Mi casa es tu casa.
Sorry, the, um, stairs and the...
...the standing.
It's...
Yeah, I... I understand.
Uh, seriously, though, are you okay?
Yeah, yeah.
All right.
What's your story?
I already told you.
I, um, was diagnosed when I was 13.
No, no, no, not your cancer story. Your real story.
Your interests, your hobbies,
your passions, your weird fetishes.
-Weird fetishes? -Come on, just think of something.
The first thing that pops in your head.
Something you love.
An Imperial Affliction.
Okay. What's that?
It's a novel. It's my favorite novel.
Wait, wait, does it have zombies in it?
Zombies? No!
Stormtroopers?
No, it's...
It's not that kind of a book.
Okay, what's it about?
Uh, cancer.
It's about cancer?
But not like that; trust me, it's...
It's amazing.
Um, the author... his name is Peter Van Houten.
He's the only person I've ever come across in my life
who: A, understands what it's like to be dying,
but B, hasn't actually died.
Okay. I will read this horrible book with this very boring title
that does not include zombies or Stormtroopers,
and in exchange...
...you will read this.
This haunting,
yet brilliant novelization
of my favorite video game.
"Counterinsurgence."
Yeah, don't laugh. It... It's awesome.
It's about honor and sacrifice and bravery and heroism.
It's about embracing your destiny
and leaving a mark on the world.
Well, thank you.
Wait, wait. Your hands are so cold.
Well, they're not so much cold as just under-oxygenated.
-Hazel Grace? -Hmm?
I love it when you talk medical to me.
That's different.
Did he give it to you?
By "it," do you mean herpes?
Wow.
Yes, I did.
It's a mother's dream.
Hey.
Don't worry.
Oh, my God, Mom, I'm not worried.
It's not a big deal.
Yeah.
We just hung out. It's not like I'm waiting for him to call me.
-- Is that what... -- Yeah.
Because I thought those were peppers.
All right. Today, in China,
-International Goji Berry Day.
-Isn't that great?
-- I like the color. -- Mm-hmm.
This is the dried.
Uh-huh. They're very good.
-They're good, right? -Mm-hmm.
-So do they... they eat
a lot of goji berries on Goji Berry Day?
-- We do. -- They must.
We do. We're gonna do it for them. We're gonna decide.
I did something with the dessert even,
just to try to keep the goji berry theme going.
-Oh, my God.
Because they're an amazing antioxidant.
I didn't even know we were having dessert.
Mm-hmm, got to celebrate things in this family.
-- Well, I like it. -- It's gonna be a big deal
-in our house every year. -We should do it every year.
-Every year. I know. -We should do it every year.
-I really do like these.
Honey, would you like to be excused?
What?
Hazel Grace!
Welcome to the sweet torture
of reading An Imperial Affliction.
What is... Are you okay?
Um, me? Yeah, I am excellent.
I am, however, with Isaac and...
Isaac, does Support Group Hazel make this better or worse?
Isaac... focus on me.
How fast can you get here?
Um...
Great, all right, well, the door's open.
So I... I got to run. Bye.
Hello?
Hazel.
Isaac, yo, Hazel Grace from the support group is here.
-Hi. -Hi.
Uh, gentle reminder.
Isaac's in the midst of a psychotic episode right now.
You look very nice, by the way.
I like this color on you.
Thank you.
Isaac.
-Isaac. Hazel's here.
Hi, Isaac.
Hey, Hazel.
How you doing?
I'm doing okay.
It seems Isaac and Monica are no longer a going concern.
Oh, Isaac, I'm so sorry.
Do you want to talk about it?
No, I just want to cry and play video games.
However, you know, it doesn't hurt to talk to him
if you have any sage words of feminine advice.
I actually think that his response
is fairly appropriate.
"Pain demands to be felt."
You're quoting my book.
She said she wanted to break up with me
before the surgery, 'cause she couldn't handle it.
I'm about to lose my eyesight, and she can't handle it.
I kept saying "always" to her, you know, like,
"always," and she kept, like,
talking over me and not saying it back, and, like...
...and it was like I was gone already, you know?
-And... -You know, sometimes
people don't understand the promises that they're making
when they make them.
I know, but... I feel like such a loser.
I still have her necklace on.
-Take it off. -Dude, take that off.
-Yeah.
Here we go, man, here we go.
I just want to kick something.
Don't... don't hit that! Don't hit that! Here, dude.
Hey, uh...
-Hit this. -Sorry.
I've been wanting to call you for a few days now,
but I've been waiting until I could form a coherent thought
about Imperial Affliction.
One second.
Isaac!
Pillows don't break.
You need to break something.
Try this.
-Wait, the trophy? -Yeah.
-I... I've been looking -Are you sure?
for a way to tell my father I kind of hate basketball.
Go to town!
Always!
An Imperial Affliction.
Yes. I'm so glad that you liked it.
-Yes, I did, but the ending.
I-I know, it is rather abrupt.
"Rather abrupt"? Are you kidding? It's evil!
I... I mean, I understand that she dies,
but there's... there's an unwritten contract...
-...between author and... Yeah? -Gus?
-Cool? -Sure.
Between an author and reader,
and I feel like ending your book
in the middle of a sentence sort of violates that contract,
-don't you think? -Always! Always!
Okay, yes, I... I know what you mean,
but I mean, to be completely honest,
I think it's just so truthful.
You know, you just die in the middle of life.
You die in the middle of a sentence.
-And I don't know.
I kind of... But I really...
I would like to know what happens to the rest of...
To, you know, everyone after Anna dies.
Like Anna's mother.
Yes, and the Dutch Tulip Man.
And Sisyphus the Hamster.
Yes.
Have you tried contacting this Peter Van Houten fella?
I have written him so many letters,
but he's never responded.
Apparently, he moved to Amsterdam
and became a recluse and...
-Shame. -Yeah.
Isaac. You, uh, you feeling better, buddy?
That's the thing about pain.
It demands to be felt.
I'll help you pick...
I'll help you clean this up.
GUS Hazel Grace.
-Augustus Waters. -I cannot stop thinking
about this goddamned book.
You're welcome.
However, we do need closure, don't you think?
That is exactly what I was asking Van Houten for in my letters.
But he never responded.
Nope.
"Dear Mr.
I'm writing to thank you for your electronic correspondence.
I am grateful to anyone who sets aside
the time to read my book."
Augustus?
Yes?
What are you doing?
I may have found
Van Houten's assistant, e-mailed her...
Augustus!
...and she may have forwarded that e-mail on to Van Houten.
Shall I continue?
Oh, my God, yeah, go, go, go.
"I am particularly indebted to you, sir..."
Hazel Grace, he just called me "sir."
Augustus, keep reading! Keep reading.
"...both for your kind words about An Imperial Affliction
and for taking the time to tell me
that the book, and here I quote you directly,
meant a great deal to you and your friend, Hazel Grace."
You did not! You did not!
-You did not. You did not. -Of course I did.
"To answer your question,
no, I have not written anything else, nor will I.
I do not feel like continuing to share my thoughts
with readers would benefit either them or me.
However, thank you for your generous e-mail.
Yours most sincerely, Peter Van Houten."
So, yeah, that just happened.
Oh, my God.
I've been trying to tell you, I'm kind of awesome.
Do you...
Do you think that I...
Check your inbox.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, Augustus.
I'm freaking out. I'm freaking out.
"Dear Mr. Peter Van
My name is Hazel Grace Lancaster.
My friend, Augustus Waters,
who read your book at my recommendation,
just received an e-mail from you at this address.
I hope you will not mind that he shared that e-mail with me.
I was wondering if you wouldn't mind answering a few questions
I have about what happens after the end of the book.
Specifically, the following:
Does Anna's mom marry the Dutch Tulip Man?
And is the Dutch Tulip Man up to something,
or is he just completely misunderstood?
Lastly, I was hoping you could shed some light
on Sisyphus the Hamster.
These questions have haunted me for years,
and I don't know how long I have left to get answers to them.
I know that these are not important literary questions,
and that your book is full of important literary questions,
but I would just really like to know.
And, of course, if you ever do decide to write anything else,
I would love to read it.
Frankly, I'd read your grocery lists.
Yours with great admiration, Hazel Grace Lancaster."
-Not bad. -You think?
Yeah, I mean it's a bit pretentious, but then again,
Van Houten uses words like "tendentious"
-and "bacchanalia," so...
I think he'll like it.
Is it really00 a.m.?
Is it? Yeah, I guess it is.
I should probably go to sleep.
Okay.
Perhaps "okay" will be our "always."
Okay.
Oh, my God.
What?
Peter Van...
Oh, my God!
What is this life?
Hazel!
-Mom! -Hazel, what's wrong?
Mom, look at this.
No, it... Come here, come here, come here.
Look.
-What? -Yeah, Peter Van Houten.
Look what he said!
"Should ever you find yourself in Amsterdam"?
-That's... -I have to go!
That's incredible.
He invited us to Amsterdam.
Amsterdam!
-Wow. -Can we go?
I mean, do you think... do you think we could actually go?
I mean, Amsterdam. I want you to have everything you want in the world,
but we don't have the money.
You know, just like getting all the equipment over there.
I don't know, how do we do that?
I'm just, yeah, no, duh. I'm sorry.
Hey, you... I am so sorry.
It's okay. It's okay.
So...
Why don't you just ask the Genies? Use your wish.
I already used it, pre-miracle.
What'd you use it on?
Not Disney.
Hazel Grace,
you... you did not go to Disney World.
-I was 13. -You did not use your last dying wish
to go to Disney World.
And Epcot Center!
Oh, my God.
It was actually a really fun trip.
That's the saddest thing I've ever heard in my entire life.
-No, I met Goofy. -Now I'm just embarrassed.
Why are you embarrassed?
I can't believe I have a crush on a girl
-with such cliché wishes.
Terrible.
You coming?
The most important thing in any MRI
is to lie completely still.
But that day, it was almost impossible.
-Hey, Gus! How are you? -Hi, Mrs. Lancaster.
Hey. Rik Smits jersey?
-Yeah, it is indeed. -I love that guy.
I'm Augustus Waters.
Nice to meet you. I'm Michael.
-Good to see you. -Hi, Mrs. Lancaster.
-Good to see you. -Good to see you.
Hi, Hazel Grace.
Hi.
How would you like to go on a picnic with me?
Um, I... I would love to go on a picnic with you.
Shall we?
No, we, well, I, uh...
Let me... I'm...
I smell like hospital, so I should just change.
So, uh, you're a... you're a survivor
-yourself, huh? -Yeah.
You know, I... I didn't cut this fella off for the hell of it.
Although it does make an excellent weight-loss strategy.
Uh, legs are very heavy.
How's your, uh, how's your health now?
It's great. NEC for 14 months.
-Really? That's fantastic. -Yeah, yeah.
I'm very lucky.
Hey, listen, Gus, um...
Yeah, I mean, you have to understand.
Hazel's still pretty sick,
and she will be the rest of her life.
I mean, she's gonna want to keep up with you.
She's that kind of girl, but the truth is her lungs...
Ready, Gus?
Yeah.
All right.
See you soon.
All right.
Oh.
-Such a beautiful day. -Yeah.
Is this where you take all of your romantic conquests?
Yeah, every last one of them.
That's probably why I'm still a virgin.
You are not still a virgin.
Are you really?
Let me show you something.
See this circle?
-That is a circle of virgins. -Uh-huh.
And... this...
...is 18-year-old dudes with one leg.
-Aw. -So, yeah.
Funky Bones, by Joep Van Lieshout.
-He sounds quite Dutch. -And he is.
Much like Rik Smits.
And tulips.
Sandwich?
Let me guess.
Dutch cheese and tomato.
Sorry, the tomatoes are Mexican.
How dare you.
Hmm.
How cool is this?
They're using a skeleton as a playground.
Think about that.
You do love your symbols.
Speaking of which, you're probably wondering
why you're sitting here eating a bad cheese sandwich
and drinking orange juice with a guy in a Rik Smits jersey.
It actually has crossed my mind.
Well, Hazel Grace, like so many before you,
and listen, I say this with the utmost of affection,
you used your wish moronically.
-Okay, we've been through this. I was 13. -All right, hush!
I am in the midst of a grand soliloquy here.
You were young, impressionable,
the Grim Reaper staring you right in the face,
and it led you to rush into making a wish you didn't really want.
But how could little Hazel Grace,
having never read An Imperial Affliction,
know that her one true wish
was to visit Mr. Peter Van Houten
in his Amsterdam exile?
But I didn't save it, so...
It's a good thing I saved mine.
So you're saying...
I'm not gonna give you my wish or anything, Hazel.
-If that's what you're thinking.
However, you know, I... I, too, have an interest
in meeting this Mr. Peter Van Houten,
and... I don't really think it would make much sense to meet him
without the girl who introduced me to the book
in the first place, now, would it?
So I talked to the Genies, and they're all for it.
We leave in a month.
No.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God!
Augustus!
Thank you.
And then this happened.
Hey.
Hi.
-Hey. -You're okay.
So what happened?
Usual.
Fluid in the lungs preventing oxygenation.
They put a tube in.
They drained, like, a liter and a half last night.
Good news is no tumor growth, no new tumors in your body.
We're so relieved.
This is just a thing, Hazel.
It's a thing we can live with.
Mr. Lancaster.
-How's she doing? -Better.
Yeah, thank you. Much, much better.
Oh, they won't let me in. It's, like, family only.
-Yeah, sorry. -Yeah, no, I get it.
Um... well, could you just tell her I was here?
Yeah, of course. Of course I will.
-Okay. -Hey, Gus, listen,
why don't you go home? Get some rest.
Okay?
Normally the tumors start resisting the treatment,
and that hasn't happened here... yet.
On the other hand, the drug may be worsening the edema.
Truth is, very few people have been on Phalanxifor
as long as Hazel has.
We really don't know the long-term effects.
What we're trying to do is prevent endothelial growth,
which, when over expressed,
can contribute to disease, decay,
vascular inhibition and the spread of the tumors
we're working so hard to eradicate.
The survival rate of patients with severe endothelial growth
decreases exponentially the more the condition advances.
You can let go, sweetie.
Don't be afraid.
Oh, my God.
I'm not gonna be a mom anymore.
I have a question.
Yes, Hazel?
Can I still go to Amsterdam?
That would, uh, not be wise at this juncture.
-Why not? -Is there any way
we can make that trip happen?
It would increase some risks.
-But so does going to the mall. -Yes, but an airplane?
But they have oxygen on airplanes.
-You're stage four. -This is an opportunity
that I may never get again.
Ever.
If the medication is working, I don't understand why...
Perhaps there's a scenario.
No.
I don't know any other way to say this, Hazel.
You're just too sick.
I'm sorry.
Hello?
Yeah, just a sec.
Hi.
Gus... again.
Sorry. She's asleep.
Yeah, uh, okay.
All right, bye-bye.
I know what you're thinking.
It's not fair to him.
It's not.
He doesn't need this in his life.
Nobody does.
A lot more trouble than it's worth.
No, you're right.
Your mom and I were just saying the same thing.
I mean, it could be time we tossed you out on the street.
Drop you off at an orphanage somewhere.
Make you their problem.
I'm serious.
We're not sentimental people.
Hazel Grace.
Hi, Augustus.
Are you... are you okay?
No.
What's the matter?
Talk to me.
I don't know.
Everything.
I want to go to Amsterdam, Gus.
And I want Van Houten
to tell us what happens after his book.
I also don't really want this particular life.
But it's really just the sky.
The sky is making me sad, and there's this...
...pathetic old swing set
that my dad built for me when I was a kid,
and...
It's just everything, I guess.
Well, I demand to see this swing set of tears.
I do see your point.
This is one sad swing set.
Hazel Grace, I... I hope you realize
that you trying to keep your distance from me in no way
lessens my affection for you.
All your efforts to keep me from you are gonna fail.
Look...
I like you.
And I like hanging out with you and...
...everything, but I...
I can't let this go on any further.
Uh, why not?
Because I don't want to hurt you.
-I... I wouldn't mind. -No, you don't understand.
-I do understand. -No, you don't.
No, I know what you're trying to say, and I... I...
Hazel, I'm saying I wouldn't mind.
It'd be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.
-Hazel, I'm... -Gus, I'm a grenade.
One day, I'm gonna explode,
and I'm gonna obliterate everything in my wake, and...
I don't know, I just, I feel like it's my responsibility
to minimize the casualties.
A grenade.
-Mom? -Yeah?
Mom!
-What's wrong? -Sorry.
No, I was just taking a bath,
-for, like, five seconds. -Um, did you e-mail the Genies
to tell them that the trip was off?
Because Van Houten's assistant just e-mailed me,
and she said that she thinks we're still coming.
Well...
What?
I was supposed to tell you with your dad.
Mom.
We're going to Amsterdam.
You're... you're ser...
We're... we're going to Amsterdam?
We're going to Amsterdam.
I... We figured the whole thing out.
-We're going. -Oh, my God.
Dr. Maria, everybody knows, but only
-for three days, not six. -Oh, my God.
But everything, an oncologist is set there.
Everything. We're just so good.
I love you.
I love you so much.
I love you.
-Here, sit down. -We're going to Amsterdam.
We're going to Amsterdam.
-We're going to Amsterdam. -You can come talk to me,
but you've got a phone call to make.
Call him!
Okay, lungs,
you keep your shit together for one week, you got it?
One more week.
Here we go!
Oh, oh, wait, the food.
-What'd you forget? -What are you doing?
-She's got it; we're all good. -Do you have my passport?
Yeah, I've got it!
Got it in my bag.
Okay, go.
It's like I said to the Genies,
I travel in style or I don't travel at all.
You didn't know?
Mom, we're going to Amsterdam!
We are going to Amsterdam right now.
Hello, Lancasters.
Gus.
Hey, nice to see you.
I'll take that, sir.
Gus, you're so inventive.
Okay, Hazel Grace?
Okay!
Have you never been on a plane before?
No.
It's exciting.
-Sir. -Uh-huh?
There's no smoking on this plane or any plane.
I... I don't smoke.
Yeah, no, it's just a metaphor.
He puts the killing thing in his mouth,
but he doesn't actually give it the power to kill him.
Well, that metaphor, it's prohibited on today's flight.
-Flight attendants,
prepare for takeoff, please.
Thanks.
Okay?
Gus, this is what it's like
to drive in a car with you.
Oh.
Oh!
Oh, my God, we're flying.
We're... we're flying.
-Look at the ground! Look!
Ladies and gentlemen...
Nothing has ever looked like this in all of human history.
Look at the cars. They're like...
You two are so adorable.
We're just friends.
-Well, she is. -I'm not.
Oh, my... Whoa.
Get away from her, you bitch!
Look at this, Hazel.
This is so crazy.
Whoa.
-What?
Look at the stained glass.
It's so amazing.
Oh, I'm gonna check us in.
Welcome to Amsterdam.
We better get you dressed, because you have reservations
for two tonight for dinner at Oranjee.
-Ooh. -Yeah, and it says,
"Enjoy. Mr. Peter Van Houten."
So I looked it up, and it sounds amazing.
The guidebook says it's fancy and very romantic.
Right, fancy.
Oh, God.
But okay, what...
...will you wear?
Hmm.
Is that for me?
Oh, my God. It's so beautiful.
I'm just saying.
You're just saying?
What, you're saying that you're totally fine
with your teenage daughter running free with an older boy
in a city that's famous for its vice and debauchery
is totally fine with you?
Yeah, that's... that's pretty much exactly what I'm saying.
Gus!
Oh.
You look so handsome.
Thank you, ma'am.
Wow. Hazel, Gus is here!
Looking incredible.
I hear this restaurant is unbelievable.
Wow.
What?
You look gorgeous.
Thanks.
Whoa!
Wow.
This is it.
Oran-Oranjee.
-Yeah, this is it. -Okay.
Your table, Mr. and Mrs. Waters.
Thank you.
Thanks, Gus.
You are very welcome.
The champagne is our gift.
-Enjoy. -Thank you.
Good evening.
Voila.
-Okay? -Okay.
Whoa.
That is amazing.
Do you know what Dom Pérignon said
after he invented champagne?
"Come quickly," he said, "I'm tasting the stars."
-Welcome to Oranjee.
Would you like a menu
or will you have the chef's choice?
-Um... -Chef's choice sounds wonderful.
-Hmm. -And, sir, um, something tells me
we are gonna need a little bit more of this.
We have bottled all the stars for you this evening, my young friends.
-- Ooh. -- I think that's ours.
Dragon carrot risotto for the lady.
Thank you.
And for the gentleman.
Thank you.
Enjoy.
-Mmm. -Mmm.
I want this dragon carrot risotto to become a person
so that I can take it to Vegas and marry it.
I like your suit.
Thank you. It's the first time I've ever worn it.
That's not the suit you wear to funerals?
No.
That one is not nearly this nice.
When I first got sick,
they told me I had an 85% chance of being cancer-free.
Great odds, but that meant a year of torture,
the loss of my leg and still a 15% chance it might fail.
Just before the surgery,
I asked my parents if I could buy a really nice suit.
So it's your death suit.
That's what it is.
I have one of those. I got it for my 15th birthday.
A dress.
I don't... necessarily think I'd wear it on a date, though.
So we're on a date?
Hey, you watch it.
We are Mr. and Mrs. Waters.
Oh, that's just because she can't speak English.
We should be, I mean, if they ask.
You know?
Oh, hey, remember what you said about Vegas?
Yeah.
Do you think I could join in on that deal?
God?
Maybe.
How about angels?
Hmm, no.
-Afterlife? -Hmm.
No. Well, maybe. I don't know.
I guess I wouldn't go as far as to say no,
but... I would like some evidence.
What about you?
-Absolutely. -Really?
I mean, not like a Heaven where
you ride on a unicorn all day
and live in a mansion made of clouds,
but, yes, I definitely believe in something.
I mean, otherwise, what's the point?
-Maybe there is no point. -I won't accept that.
I am in love with you.
You heard me.
-Augustus... -I am in love with you.
And I know that love is just a shout into the void
and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we're all doomed.
And that... one day,
all of our labors will be returned to dust.
And I know that the sun will swallow
the only earth we will ever have.
And I am in love with you.
Sorry.
More stars?
No, no, thank you.
I think... I think we'll just have the check.
No, sir. Your meal has been paid by Mr. Van Houten.
What?
Augustus.
I don't... really get that shirt.
Hm.
But Van Houten will get it.
There are, like, 50 Magritte references
in An Imperial Affliction.
"This is not a pipe."
But it is a pipe.
But it's not.
It is a drawing of a pipe.
See?
A drawing of a thing is not the thing itself
nor is a T-shirt of a drawing of a thing the thing itself.
-Hey, you. -What?
-When'd you get so grown up?
Who's ready for some answers?
Me!
This is it.
I'm so excited I can barely breathe.
As opposed to normal?
-Get out of here.
Lidewij!
-Hi. -Hi. I'm Augustus.
Lidewij.
Uh, Hazel.
-Please, come in. -Thank you.
Peter, they're here!
Who the hell is "they," Lidewij?
"They" are Augustus and Hazel, the young fans
with whom you've been corresponding.
The Americans?
You invited them.
Please, come in.
Do you know why I left America, Lidewij?
To never have to encounter Americans.
You're American.
Incurably so.
Get rid of them.
I will not do this, Peter.
Please be nice.
Come in, please.
Sorry. Let me... clear this for you.
Thank you.
Which of you is Augustus Waters?
I am.
And that's Hazel.
Mr. Van Houten, thank you so much for writing back to us.
Clearly an error in judgment.
Yours are the first missives
to which I've replied, and look where it got me.
Scotch?
Uh...
No, thank you.
Eh, just me, then, Lidewij.
Another scotch and soda, please.
Perhaps some breakfast first, Peter?
She thinks I have a drinking problem.
I also think the Earth is round.
So, you like my book.
-We love your book. -Yeah.
We love it. Um...
Augustus, he made his wish meeting you
so that we could talk.
No pressure.
Did you dress like her on purpose?
Kind of.
And incidentally, sir,
we both really wanted to thank you
for dinner last night, and for the champagne.
It was amazing.
-It was magical. -Thank you.
We bought them dinner last night?
It was our pleasure.
You've come a long way.
What can I do for you?
We have some questions,
obviously about what happens at the end of your book.
Uh, specifically, to those who Anna leaves behind.
Like, you know, her mom, the Dutch Tulip Man...
How familiar are you with Swedish hip-hop?
I would say limited.
Uh, Lidewij, play "Bomfalleralla" immediately.
Okay.
We don't speak Swedish, sir.
Who the hell speaks Swedish?
The important thing is not
what nonsense the voices are saying,
but what the voices are feeling.
Are... are you messing with us?
Like, is this some sort of performance?
Gus, sit down.
All right, so at the end of the book, Anna's...
Let's imagine you're racing a tortoise.
The tortoise has a ten-yard head start.
In the time it takes you to run ten yards,
the tortoise has moved maybe one yard, and so on forever.
You're faster than the tortoise,
but you can never catch him, you see.
You can only decrease his lead.
Now, certainly you can run past the tortoise
as long as you don't contemplate the mechanics involved,
but the question of how turns out to be so complicated
that no one really solved it
until Cantor's proof that some infinities
are bigger than other infinities.
I assume... that answers your question.
Hazel, I'm sorry. I have no idea what's going on.
Yet you seem so intelligent in print, Mr. Waters.
Has the cancer found its way into your brain?
Peter!
Can we for one second just focus on Anna, please?
I understand that the story ends
in the middle of a sentence because she dies,
or that she becomes too sick to continue.
I am not interested in talking about that book.
But that doesn't mean that her family and her friends
don't have a future, right? Right?
-I said I'm not interested. -But you promised!
Nothing happens! They're fiction.
They cease to exist the moment the novel ends.
But they can't.
I get it in a literary sense or whatever, but...
-I can't do this, Lidewij. -...but there's...
-It's impossible not to imagine... -I will not indulge
your childish whims. I refuse to pity you
in the manner in which you're accustomed.
-Pity? I do not want your pity. -Of course you do.
Like all sick kids, your existence depends on it.
-You are fated to live out your days... -Peter!
...as the child you were when diagnosed,
the child who believes there is a life
after a novel ends, and we as adults, we pity this.
So we pay for your treatments, your oxygen machines.
-Peter, that's enough. -You are a...
...a side effect to an evolutionary process
that cares little for individual lives.
You are a failed experiment in mutation.
Listen, douche pants.
There's nothing that you're gonna tell me
about my disease that I don't already know.
Okay, I came here for one thing and one thing only.
That is for you to tell me what happens at the end
-of this goddamn book! -I can't tell you.
-Bullshit. -I can't.
Then make something up!
I want you to leave.
Have you ever stopped to ask yourself why you
care so much about your silly questions?
Go fuck yourself.
Hey, it's okay.
It's okay.
I'll write you a sequel.
All right, I'll write you... I'll write you a sequel.
It'll be better than any piece of shit
that drunk guy could write.
It'll have blood and guts and sacrifice.
You'll love it.
I'm so sorry that I spent your wish on that asshole.
No, you did not spend it on him; you spent it on us.
Hazel and Augustus!
I'm very sorry.
Circumstance has made him cruel.
I thought meeting you would help him,
that he could see that his work has shaped real lives,
but...
I'm very sorry.
Perhaps we can do some sightseeing?
Have you been to the Anne Frank House?
I'm not going anywhere with that man.
No. He is not invited.
I'm afraid there's no elevator.
Oh, that's all right. I mean...
Well, there are many stairs.
-Steep stairs. -I can do it.
You know, Hazel, we don't have to do it.
I can do it.
Let's go.
ANNOUNCER The Frank family came
from Frankfurt in Germany.
Anne Frank's diary would become world-famous.
GIRL It's difficult in times like these.
It's a wonder I haven't abandoned all my ideals.
They seem so absurd and impractical.
Yet I cling to them because I still believe,
in spite of everything,
that people are truly good at heart.
It's utterly impossible for me to build my life...
Shall we?
-Yeah. -Yeah.
Hazel, I'll... I'll carry it if you want.
I got it.
Wow.
So this is the actual bookcase that hid the Frank family.
Whoa.
I got it.
Thank you.
GIRL We're much too young
to deal with these problems,
but they keep thrusting themselves on us...
-...until finally,
we're forced to think of a solution.
You okay, Hazel?
Yeah.
Don't worry, take your time.
-Sorry. -No problem.
Yeah?
Yeah.
GIRL And yet, when I look up at the sky,
I somehow feel that everything will change for the better.
That this cruelty, too, will end.
You okay?
Yeah.
Hazel, I think... I think that's enough.
You don't need... you know?
Uh-uh.
I got this.
GIRL All is as it should be.
God wishes to see people happy.
Where there's hope...
Hazel?
GIRL ...there is life.
Well done.
Yeah.
-You okay? -Yeah.
This is it. Look.
Wow.
-All right? -Whoa, yeah.
Oh, my God.
Thanks.
Whew.
The only member of the Frank family to survive
was Otto, Anne's father.
GIRL At such moments,
I can't think about the misery,
but about the beauty that still remains.
Try to recapture the happiness within yourself.
Think of all the beauty in everything around you
and be happy.
Bravo.
I fell in love with him the way you fall asleep.
Slowly, and then all at once.
It just sort of, like,
ends right above where the knee would be...
and, like, tapers off.
What?
My leg.
You know, just... just so you're prepared.
Gus, get over yourself.
Wait.
I can't. It's stuck.
I love you so much, Augustus Waters.
I love you, too, Hazel Grace.
So, so much.
Augustus, I can't breathe.
It's okay.
Hazel.
You're so beautiful.
Stop.
No, you're so beautiful.
I'm so lucky.
HAZEL Oh, my God.
I can't believe you called him "douche pants."
-- I know! -- You did?
How'd you come up with that?
I don't know, it just came out.
I was so angry.
What a monster.
Mom, he was awful.
Then what happened?
We just, we went to Anne Frank House.
Oh, you did?
-It was really awesome. -Was that incredible?
-So awesome. -And after that?
Oh, we just... we just walked around.
That sounds lovely.
Oh, my gosh,
we probably still have a few hours, right?
Should we go to the Van Gogh Museum?
Whatever you want.
Probably don't have time to do everything, but...
Just gonna have to come back is all.
Could you just not be ridiculous right now, please?
Hazel, I'm not being ridiculous. I'm being positive.
-Mrs. Lancaster? -Yeah?
Do you think Hazel and I can just have...
...just, like, a little time alone?
Sure, Gus.
Um, I am gonna run to the room,
and, um, I'll be ready whenever you guys want to do something.
Want to go for a walk?
What is it?
So, just before you went into the hospital,
there was this...
I felt an ache in my hip.
So I had a PET scan.
And it lit up like a Christmas tree.
The lining of my chest, my liver, just... everywhere.
I'm sorry.
I should've told you.
It's so unfair.
Apparently the world is not a wish-granting factory.
Hey, listen.
Don't you worry about me, Hazel Grace, okay?
I'm gonna find a way to hang around here
and annoy you for a long time.
Are you in pain?
No.
I'm okay.
Okay.
I don't suppose you can just forget about this?
-You know, just treat me
like I'm not dying.
I don't think you're dying, Augustus.
You've just got a touch of cancer.
Would it be absolutely ludicrous if we just made out?
Right now?
Probably.
Oh!
So, how are your eyes, Isaac?
They're good. They're not in my head is the only problem.
-Besides that...
Well, um, it appears my entire body is made out of cancer now,
so sorry to one-up you, dude.
Did you, uh...
-...did you write his eulogy yet? -Dude.
-What? -What? The thing...
I haven't told her yet, Isaac.
What are you talking about?
Oh. Sorry.
Augustus?
I need speakers at my funeral.
So I was hoping that you and Isaac,
but mostly you, would be, um...
...would be kind enough to whip something up.
I would love to do that.
Thank you.
You guys are cute. Makes me sick.
-You guys are gross. -Have you heard from Monica?
-Nope, not a thing. -She hasn't even texted you
-to, like, make sure you're okay? -Not once.
-I hate that girl.
But there are tons of other girls.
You guys don't have to worry about me.
And, like, in support group, there's this new girl,
and she has these humongous...
How do you even know that?
I'm blind, but I'm not that blind.
-Hazel Grace? -Hmm?
You happen to have five dollars?
Okay, so now what?
Hey, guys?
I smell eggs. That eggs?
Is it there?
-It's there. -Mm-hmm.
I'm nervous.
-Nervous? -Is Monica in there?
-It doesn't matter where Monica is. -Okay.
This is not about Monica. This is about you.
I just feel like she's gonna be...
-Okay. Can I have an egg? -Hazel Grace?
Egg me.
Egged.
Isaac?
All right, here we go.
-You got this. -All right, come on.
I didn't hear anything.
It's all right.
-Did I hit anything? -Little more to your left.
Wait, throw to my left
-or should aim a little left? -Aim left.
-Okay. -Lefter.
Gus, I think we should wait until dark.
It's all dark to Isaac.
Dude, I'm... I'm... I'm not deaf;
I'm just blind, so I can hear
when you make fun of my disability...
-I'm sorry. -...and I don't love it.
-I'm sorry. Just throw. -Okay. Where do I throw?
-Throw hard. -This way?
Yes. Yes!
-Yes! -What?!
-What?! I hit it! -Come on. Keep it going.
-Keep going, dude. -I hit it!
Now I know exactly where to line it up.
-Keep throwing, dude. Keep throwing. -That was so exhilarating!
-Keep... keep it going.
-More? More? -Go again. Go again.
Keep going.
-Okay! -Keep throwing, keep throwing.
Give me more, give me more, give me more.
What...?
Oh, stop, stop, stop, stop.
-Isaac. -Whoa!
-Hello.
Are you Monica's mother?
-I am. -Hello, ma'am.
Uh, your daughter, she's done a great injustice.
So we've come here seeking revenge.
You see, we may not look like much,
but between the three of us, we have five legs,
four eyes and two and a half working pairs of lungs,
but we also have two dozen eggs.
So if... if I were you, I would go back inside.
-It... it actually worked? -Yep.
That was the stupidest speech I've ever...
That actually worked?
There you go. Hold on.
This feels so good!
Augustus?
Hazel Grace?
Hi.
Oh, my God, hi.
Hi. I love you.
Oh, my God.
I'm at the gas station.
You're what?
Um, something is wrong.
You... you got to...
Can you come?
Can you come and help me?
Gus!
Gus.
Babe, what's going on?
-Look. -Gus, it's infected.
Take a deep breath.
Gus, I have to call somebody.
No, no, please don't call 911.
Please, don't call my parents or nine...
I will never forgive you if you call them.
Gus, what are you doing?
What are you doing here?
I wanted to buy cigarettes.
I don't know what happened to my pack.
I... I might have lost it or something,
or they took it, but I just...
I wanted to do something for myself, you know?
I wanted to do it myself.
Babe, I have to call 911.
-No! -I have to.
No.
Hi. 911? Um...
-We need an ambulance. -I hate myself!
My boyfriend has cancer.
On First Avenue. Tube in his stomach.
My name is Hazel Grace Lancaster.
-Please hurry.
We're in a silver Jeep at the gas station.
I wish I could say that
Augustus Waters kept his sense of humor until the end.
That not for a single moment did his courage waver,
but that is not what happened.
Hi, sweetie.
Hi.
How's he doing?
He's had a tough night, Hazel.
His blood pressure's low.
His heart...
What about the chemo?
They are gonna stop the chemo.
Can I see him?
We'll tell him you were here.
-Yeah. -Okay.
Yeah.
I'm... I'm just gonna...
...hang out for a while, if you don't mind.
Yeah, of course.
GUS' Okay, hon. Take your time.
Here we go, bud.
Good?
All right, sweetie.
Okay.
Hi.
What are you thinking about?
Oblivion.
I know it's... it's kid stuff or whatever, but...
You know, I always thought I would be a hero.
I always thought I'd have a grand story to tell.
You know, something they'd publish in all the papers.
I mean, I was supposed to be special.
You are special, Augustus.
Yeah, I know, but...
You know what I mean.
I do know what you mean; I just don't agree with you.
You know this obsession you have with being remembered?
-Don't get mad. -I am mad.
I'm mad because I think you're special,
and is that not enough?
You think that the only way to lead a meaningful life
is for everyone to remember you.
For everyone to love you.
Guess what, Gus.
This is your life, okay?
This is all you get.
You get me, and you get your family,
and you get this world, and that's it.
And if that's not enough for you, then...
I'm sorry, but it's not nothing.
Because I love you.
And I'm gonna remember you.
I'm sorry, all right?
I just wish you would be happy with that.
Hey.
It's a good life, Hazel Grace.
It's not over yet.
Augustus.
One of the less bullshitty conventions
of the cancer genre is the convention known as
"The Last Good Day."
When it seems like the inexorable decline
has suddenly plateaued.
When the pain is, just for a minute, bearable.
The problem, of course,
is that there's no way of knowing
that your last good day is your last good day.
At the time, it's just another decent day.
Hello, Augustus.
Good evening, Hazel Grace.
A quick question for you.
Did you ever write that eulogy I asked you to prepare?
I may have.
Do you think you could find your way down
to the literal heart of Jesus in the next few minutes?
-Maybe. Is everything okay? -I love you, Hazel Grace.
Can I have the keys?
Oh, where are you going?
-We're gonna eat something. -I have to go.
Hazel, you have to be hungry.
-You didn't even eat lunch. -I'm just not hungry.
Have a little salad or something.
Hazel, you can't... you cannot not eat.
-I am aggressively un-hungry. -Hazel, I know Gus is sick,
but you got to take care of yourself.
Mom, this has nothing to do with Gus.
Well, then you've got to stay healthy.
Come on, just eat something, honey.
"Stay healthy"?
Okay, I'm not healthy, and I'm gonna die.
Do you realize that I'm dying, and you're gonna be here,
and you're not gonna have anyone to look after or hover around,
and you're not gonna be a mother anymore, and I'm sorry,
but there's nothing I can do about that.
So can I please go?
-Why would you say that to me? -Hazel, do not...
-Because you said that. -What are you talking about?
In the ICU.
Hazel...
That's not the truth. I was wrong.
All right?
Even if you died...
When.
Even when you die...
...I'll always be your mother.
It's the greatest thing I'll ever be.
That is my biggest fear, Mom.
When I am gone, you're not gonna have a life anymore.
You're just gonna sit and you're gonna stare at walls,
or you're gonna off yourselves or...
Hazel, honey, we're not gonna do that.
Losing you...
...that is gonna hurt like hell.
But you of all people know it's possible
to live with pain.
You just do it.
I'm taking classes in social work.
Wait, you're what?
Yeah, I'm...
You know, if I can take what we've been through
and help other people, maybe counsel families...
Mom, how could you not tell me this?
We didn't... we didn't want you to feel abandoned.
"Feel abandoned"?
You guys, this is...
This is the best news.
You go.
Okay?
Baby.
Straight ahead, yeah. To your left a little bit.
-That's a step, right? -Yeah.
Put your hand out.
There's a podium to your right.
Yeah, perfect.
Beautiful.
-Hi. -Hi.
You're late.
How are you doing?
You look ravishing, Hazel Grace.
I know, right?
What's going on, guys?
Tell her, Gus.
I wanted to attend my own funeral.
I mean, I'm hopeful
that I'll be able to attend as a ghost, but...
However, just in case that doesn't work out,
I decided to plan this pre-funeral.
Ready?
Augustus Waters was a cocky son of a bitch...
-...but we forgave him,
not because of his superhuman good looks
or because he only got 19 years when he should've gotten way more...
-18 years, buddy. -Dude, come on, really?
I'm assuming you have a little more time, you interrupting bastard.
Interrupt me in the middle of my eulogy.
You're supposed to be dead.
But, um, when the scientists
from the future come to my house
with robot eyes,
and they tell me to try them on...
...I'm gonna tell those scientists
to piss off 'cause...
...'cause, Gus, I don't even want to see a world without you.
I don't. I don't want to see a world without Augustus Waters.
Then having made my point,
I'll probably put the robot eyes on,
'cause, you know, come on, they're robot eyes.
-Sounds awesome.
Yeah, I don't know.
Um, I just... This is just so hard.
Um... Godspeed.
-Yeah. -Hazel, can I get a hand here?
To the right a little bit.
Uh, yeah. Now turn around, sit down.
There you go.
It's down to you, Hazel Grace.
Hello.
My name is Hazel Grace Lancaster,
and Augustus Waters
was the star-crossed love of my life.
Ours was an epic love story,
and I probably won't be able to get
more than a sentence out without disappearing
into a puddle of tears.
Like all real love stories,
ours will die with us, as it should.
You know, I'd kind of hoped that he'd be the one eulogizing me,
because there's really no one else...
Yeah, no. Um...
I'm not gonna talk about our love story because I can't.
So instead, I'm gonna talk about math.
I am not a mathematician, but I do know this.
There are infinite numbers between zero and one.
There's .1, .12 and .112,
and an infinite collection of others.
Of course, there is a bigger infinite set of numbers
between zero and two.
Or between zero and a million.
Some infinities are simply bigger than other infinities.
A writer that we used to like taught us that.
-You know, I want more numbers
than I'm likely to get.
And, God, do I want more days for Augustus Waters than what he got.
But, Gus, my love,
I cannot tell you how thankful I am...
...for our little infinity.
Hold on.
You gave me a forever...
...within the numbered days,
and for that, I am... I am eternally grateful.
I love you so much.
I love you, too.
HAZEL' Hello?
Augustus Waters died eight days later in the ICU
when the cancer, which was made of him,
stopped his heart, which was also made of him.
It was unbearable.
The whole thing.
Every second worse than the last.
One of the first things they ask you in the E.R.
is to write your pain on a scale from one to ten.
I've been asked this question hundreds of times,
and I remember once,
when I couldn't catch my breath
and it felt like my chest was on fire,
the nurse asked me to rate the pain.
Though I couldn't speak, I held up nine fingers.
Later, when I started feeling better,
the nurse came in and she called me a fighter.
"You know how I know?" she said.
"You called a ten a nine."
But that wasn't the truth.
I didn't call it a nine because I was brave.
The reason I called it a nine
was because I was saving my ten.
And this was it.
This was the great and terrible ten.
"I will fear no evil,
for you are with me.
Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil. My cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life.
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever."
Augustus Waters fought hard for many years.
His battle was a courageous one,
-and his strength...
What a load of shit, huh, kid?
...was a source of inspiration for each and every one of us.
Let us pray.
We thank you, Lord, for the life of Augustus Waters...
We need to fake-pray now.
...for his strength and his courage.
And, Lord, we ask that you be with us today,
that you be close, that you comfort his friends and family.
Thank you for your presence, Lord.
All this we pray in Jesus' name.
Amen.
Now we are going to hear from Gus's special friend,
Hazel Lancaster.
Not that it really matters, but I was his girlfriend.
There's a beautiful quote in Gus's home that reads,
"If you want the rainbow, you have to deal with the rain."
Even in his last few days, um...
I didn't believe a word.
...he was always able to crack a smile.
But that's okay.
...and to make you feel better...
I knew this was the right thing to do.
Funerals, I'd decided, are not for the dead.
They're for the living.
Hey, want some company?
No, I'm okay.
I'm just gonna drive for a bit... by myself.
Love you.
Bye.
You spoke beautifully.
I'll see you soon. Drive safe.
Okay.
May I?
"Omnis cellula e cellula."
Your boy Waters and I corresponded quite a bit in his last days.
Oh, so you read your fan mail now?
I wouldn't exactly call him a fan.
He detested me.
But he was quite insistent I attend his funeral
and tell you what became of Anna and her mother,
so here I am.
And that's your answer: "Omnis cellula e cellula."
"Life comes from life."
I'm really not in the mood.
You don't want an explanation?
No, I don't.
Thank you, though.
Have a great life.
You remind me of her.
I remind a lot of people of a lot of people.
My daughter was eight.
She suffered... beautifully for so long.
She have leukemia like Anna?
Just like Anna.
I'm... very sorry for your loss.
And I'm sorry for yours, and I'm sorry for ruining your trip.
You didn't ruin our trip. We had an amazing trip.
Are you... familiar with the trolley problem?
There's a thought experiment in the field
of ethics known as the trolley problem.
Philippa Foot was an English philosopher...
Oh, my God.
Hazel, I... I'm trying to explain something to you.
I'm trying to give you what you wanted.
No, you're not. You are a drunk, and you're a failure,
and I need you to get out of my car right now
so that I can go home and be by myself and grieve.
You'll want to read this.
I don't want to read anything.
Can you just get out of my car?
-Please get out of my car! -Fine.
Can I come in?
I'm so, so sorry.
Yeah.
It was a privilege, though, wasn't it?
To love him?
Gives you an idea how we feel about you.
Hazel?
There's a friend here to see you.
Do you know if it hurt or whatever?
Apparently, he was struggling for breath for a long time,
and then eventually, he just went unconscious.
It wasn't great or anything.
Dying sucks.
Gus really loved you, you know?
I know.
He wouldn't shut up about it.
Yeah.
It was annoying; he talked about you so much.
I didn't find it that annoying.
I know, I know you didn't.
Did you get that letter from your author friend?
No, he's not my friend.
-How do you know about that? -Well, I was talking
to him at the cemetery, and...
...he said he came all this way to give that letter to you.
Yeah, well, I'm over it.
I have no interest in reading another word
of that asshole's again.
No, he didn't write it; Gus wrote it.
What?
Apparently, Gus wrote something down,
and then sent it to Van Houten.
Oh, my God.
Mr. Van Houten,
I'm a good person but a shitty writer.
You're a shitty person but a good writer.
I think we'd make a good team.
I don't want to ask you for any favors,
but if you have the time,
and from what I saw, you have plenty,
please fix this for me.
It's a eulogy for Hazel.
She asked me to write one, and I'm trying.
I just... I could use a little flair.
See, the thing is, we all want to be remembered.
But Hazel's different.
My bad.
Hazel knows the truth.
She didn't want a million admirers.
She just wanted one, and she got it.
Maybe she wasn't loved widely, but she was loved deeply,
and isn't that more than most of us get?
When Hazel was sick, I knew I was dying,
but I didn't want to say so.
She was in the ICU, and I snuck in for ten minutes,
and I sat with her before I got caught.
Her eyes were closed, her skin pale,
but her hands were still her hands, still warm,
and her nails were painted this dark blue-black color,
and I just held them.
And I willed myself to imagine a world without us,
and what a worthless world that would be.
She's so beautiful.
You don't get tired of looking at her.
You never worry if she's smarter than you,
'cause you know she is.
She's funny without ever being mean.
I love her.
God, I love her. I'm so lucky to love her, Van Houten.
You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world,
but you do have a say in who hurts you,
and I like my choices.
I hope she likes hers.
Okay, Hazel Grace?
Okay.