1 00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:06,372 You know, like, detail wise. 2 00:00:06,374 --> 00:00:07,906 Just really wanna get it right. 3 00:00:07,908 --> 00:00:11,810 Greetings, this week we will be focusing on movement. 4 00:00:11,812 --> 00:00:15,814 The model will be changing positions every minute. 5 00:00:15,816 --> 00:00:16,448 (tinkling) 6 00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:21,420 May your pencil soften her crudeness. 7 00:00:27,527 --> 00:00:28,961 Hey, Ab. 8 00:00:28,963 --> 00:00:30,529 (gasping) 9 00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:33,499 Uh, models have to be silent. 10 00:00:33,501 --> 00:00:35,768 Oh, my God, I'm a model? 11 00:00:38,338 --> 00:00:40,973 Dude, thank you so much for telling me how much nude models 12 00:00:40,975 --> 00:00:43,175 can make in a class like this? 13 00:00:43,177 --> 00:00:44,276 I need the money. 14 00:00:44,278 --> 00:00:47,413 Yeah, totally, I just-- I didn't mean my class. 15 00:00:47,415 --> 00:00:48,747 Oh, my God, are you mad at me? 16 00:00:48,749 --> 00:00:50,215 Ali, is there a problem? 17 00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:52,551 It's Abbi, remember, we talked about that. 18 00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:55,187 But, no, we're just strategizing... 19 00:00:55,189 --> 00:00:59,458 like the shading... of the boobs. 20 00:00:59,460 --> 00:01:02,728 'Cause I'm, you know, I'm not there yet, so... 21 00:01:02,730 --> 00:01:04,997 (tinkling) 22 00:01:09,135 --> 00:01:10,002 Stop it. 23 00:01:10,004 --> 00:01:10,769 (whispering) Oh, sorry. 24 00:01:10,771 --> 00:01:14,306 Guys, hey, sorry, I'm gonna change positions before 25 00:01:14,308 --> 00:01:15,107 the bell rings. 26 00:01:15,109 --> 00:01:17,376 I'm weirding Abbi out, it's my B. 27 00:01:24,951 --> 00:01:27,119 It's honestly worth it if we get it. 28 00:01:27,121 --> 00:01:30,055 Your students will learn so much 29 00:01:30,057 --> 00:01:31,557 (laughing) 30 00:01:32,459 --> 00:01:34,760 ♪ Four and three and two and one one ♪ 31 00:01:34,762 --> 00:01:38,997 ♪♪ 32 00:01:42,135 --> 00:01:43,502 Hey, Ab, where you heading? 33 00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:46,171 Hey, not much-- I mean, nowhere. 34 00:01:46,173 --> 00:01:48,807 I'm actually getting my wisdom teeth taken out today, 35 00:01:48,809 --> 00:01:49,942 so I'm having surgery. Oh, man, 36 00:01:49,944 --> 00:01:51,443 I had mine taken out the week of my prom. 37 00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:54,446 In all the pictures, I had these huge chipmunk cheeks. 38 00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:56,882 I was like... That's so cute. 39 00:01:56,884 --> 00:01:58,450 Yeah, it's good, though, 'cause, um, 40 00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:01,353 it'll make more room in my mouth, right? 41 00:02:03,089 --> 00:02:05,290 (stammering) 42 00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:09,361 No, I, I didn't-- I didn't mean, um, blow jobs. 43 00:02:09,363 --> 00:02:10,963 Although, if that is true, 44 00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:13,799 that it would make more room in my mouth. 45 00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:15,968 I didn't do them. 46 00:02:15,970 --> 00:02:17,002 I enjoy it both ways. 47 00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:19,605 You know, I think it's a two-way street. 48 00:02:19,607 --> 00:02:23,175 In fact, I'm getting a call, it's ringing. 49 00:02:23,177 --> 00:02:24,476 Busy day. 50 00:02:24,478 --> 00:02:25,310 Hello? 51 00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:26,545 One sec, Jeremy-- just give me one... 52 00:02:26,547 --> 00:02:30,182 Yup? Well, my laundry is in the bag! 53 00:02:30,184 --> 00:02:30,816 (scoffing) 54 00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:32,885 What do you mean, "Stains are on it?" 55 00:02:32,887 --> 00:02:35,387 Well, what do you mean they're on my underwear? 56 00:02:35,389 --> 00:02:36,688 Why would someone say that? 57 00:02:36,690 --> 00:02:37,856 Why would they say-- 58 00:02:37,858 --> 00:02:40,859 It's my laundry man and then he's upset. 59 00:02:40,861 --> 00:02:41,627 I'll let you take it. 60 00:02:41,629 --> 00:02:43,862 Yeah, why-- don't you talk back to me! 61 00:02:43,864 --> 00:02:48,133 I will come down there and I will get you right away! 62 00:02:48,135 --> 00:02:50,702 So you better lawyer up, 'cause I'm gonna... 63 00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:52,905 ...kill myself right now. 64 00:02:52,907 --> 00:02:56,475 ♪♪ 65 00:02:58,144 --> 00:02:59,211 (Ilana) Okay, Ab. 66 00:02:59,213 --> 00:03:00,779 You are doing an awesome job already. 67 00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:02,581 You just keep clutching Bingo Bronson 68 00:03:02,583 --> 00:03:04,516 that Mommy Lani got you-- 69 00:03:04,518 --> 00:03:05,617 Me, I'm Mommy Lani. 70 00:03:05,619 --> 00:03:06,952 And that's it, whole thing's gonna be painless. 71 00:03:06,954 --> 00:03:10,322 You're not even go know it, you're gonna be out, out, out. 72 00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:11,456 You just chill. 73 00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:12,357 So riddle me this, Doc. 74 00:03:12,359 --> 00:03:16,195 Mayonnaise clinic claims that facial paralysis can be a thing? 75 00:03:16,197 --> 00:03:17,796 What? Care to comment? 76 00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:20,432 Release my head, woman. Sorry. 77 00:03:20,434 --> 00:03:22,634 I got this, Abbi's gonna be fine. 78 00:03:22,636 --> 00:03:24,303 Look at this black-blue hands. 79 00:03:24,305 --> 00:03:25,837 If I mess up this white girl's teeth, 80 00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:29,508 the black dentistry game is over... forever. 81 00:03:29,510 --> 00:03:32,177 I'm gonna get these teeth. 82 00:03:32,179 --> 00:03:34,179 For my people. Wow. 83 00:03:34,181 --> 00:03:36,048 I don't do anything for my people. 84 00:03:37,817 --> 00:03:38,717 Count backwards. 85 00:03:38,719 --> 00:03:41,987 (muffled) Five, four 86 00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:43,455 two and one. 87 00:03:43,457 --> 00:03:46,191 Bye, Abbi, I'll see you when you wake up. 88 00:03:46,193 --> 00:03:47,893 And if you don't wake up, I'll still see you... 89 00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:50,429 ("slow motion" audio) ...'cause I'm gonna kill myself 90 00:03:50,431 --> 00:03:54,399 and meet you in heaven or whatever. 91 00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:56,134 Calm d-- you need to calm down. 92 00:03:56,136 --> 00:03:57,369 I am Abbi's keeper today. 93 00:03:57,371 --> 00:03:59,638 I am her mother, sister, father, brother. 94 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:02,107 Relax, I get it, okay. 95 00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:04,209 I know what you need, a little story. 96 00:04:04,211 --> 00:04:07,145 There once was a woman named Felicity Porter. 97 00:04:07,147 --> 00:04:10,749 And she went to the University of New York. 98 00:04:10,751 --> 00:04:12,417 She was supposed to go to Stanford. 99 00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:14,186 (voice echoing) That's where her parents wanted her to go. 100 00:04:14,188 --> 00:04:17,322 But then, Ben wrote in her high school yearbook... 101 00:04:17,324 --> 00:04:21,793 (chatter and music playing) 102 00:04:25,331 --> 00:04:27,132 So you're telling me that out of the whole series, 103 00:04:27,134 --> 00:04:30,636 there's one black person, and she's the one who's killed off. 104 00:04:30,638 --> 00:04:34,339 Yeah, but you're-- you're kind of missing the point Ilana. 105 00:04:34,341 --> 00:04:38,043 I don't think these drugs are working, you guys. 106 00:04:38,045 --> 00:04:39,878 When are my teeth gonna get... 107 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:43,849 (to tune of "Physical") ♪ Surgical, surgical ♪ 108 00:04:43,851 --> 00:04:44,850 (chuckling) 109 00:04:44,852 --> 00:04:45,584 Ab, it's already over. 110 00:04:45,586 --> 00:04:48,887 It was a huge success, but I had to remove all of your teeth. 111 00:04:48,889 --> 00:04:52,157 But don't worry, there's a huge internet community of dudes 112 00:04:52,159 --> 00:04:55,560 that like women that are super gum-heavy. 113 00:04:55,562 --> 00:04:56,528 It's a huge fetish. 114 00:04:56,530 --> 00:04:58,096 Lincoln, you took out all of her teeth? 115 00:04:58,098 --> 00:05:03,201 No, you were here the entire time, you saw... everything. 116 00:05:03,203 --> 00:05:03,735 That's true. 117 00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:07,639 I am just "gwad my wittle baby's awive." 118 00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:08,607 Don't touch her mouth! Ow! 119 00:05:08,609 --> 00:05:10,876 Don't touch her-- What-- why would you-- Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. 120 00:05:10,878 --> 00:05:13,845 She just had surgery. I'm sorry, that was so bad. 121 00:05:13,847 --> 00:05:15,714 My mouth is like... 122 00:05:15,716 --> 00:05:17,683 Here's a prescription for Vicodin. 123 00:05:17,685 --> 00:05:20,419 Give her two every four hours. 124 00:05:20,421 --> 00:05:21,787 Make sure-- can you handle that? 125 00:05:21,789 --> 00:05:23,055 It's a very strict schedule. 126 00:05:23,057 --> 00:05:25,257 I don't know, I guess I can handle it. 127 00:05:25,259 --> 00:05:27,326 You know, Western medicine does stick 128 00:05:27,328 --> 00:05:28,527 to a pretty strict schedule. 129 00:05:28,529 --> 00:05:29,995 The sooner you-you take more pills 130 00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:32,164 the sooner you buy more pills, right? 131 00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:35,133 Chomp, chomp, chomp, swallow, swallow, swallow. 132 00:05:35,135 --> 00:05:38,003 (bleep) Government-regulated, Doctor Drew 133 00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,871 all-you-can-eat buffet! 134 00:05:44,310 --> 00:05:46,878 Uh, but, really, I can handle it. 135 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:50,515 (metal clanging) 136 00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:51,750 Ab! 137 00:05:51,752 --> 00:05:54,519 (laughing) Oh, no. Abbi. 138 00:05:56,089 --> 00:05:58,056 I'm just gonna get weed from one of my weed dudes. 139 00:05:58,058 --> 00:06:02,027 It will literally take two seconds for real. 140 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,829 And then we're gonna get you home, girl. 141 00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:06,732 Uh, do you wanna hear my Drew Barrymore impression? 142 00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:08,767 Yes, queen please, Drew Barrymore. 143 00:06:08,769 --> 00:06:12,204 I love Jimmy Fallon. (laughing) 144 00:06:12,206 --> 00:06:15,574 Um, I have my own makeup line. 145 00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:17,809 Oh, my God, am I being so mean? 146 00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:20,312 I love her, you know she's my favorite. 147 00:06:20,314 --> 00:06:22,481 No, dude, it's not mean at all. 148 00:06:22,483 --> 00:06:24,750 And the gauze in your mouth adds authenticity. 149 00:06:24,752 --> 00:06:26,651 My production company, (laughing) 150 00:06:26,653 --> 00:06:28,353 Flower Films... I love Flower Films. 151 00:06:28,355 --> 00:06:34,025 ...was founded in 1999 with the popular film, "Whip It." 152 00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:38,296 That is what she sounds like. Oh, my God, I'm terrible. 153 00:06:38,298 --> 00:06:39,798 No, you're so good. 154 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,066 It was 1995 (bleep)! 155 00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:43,835 No, keep going, it's good, she would love this impression. 156 00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:44,603 (bicycle bell ringing) 157 00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:49,474 My grandfather was the legendary film actor, John Barrymore. 158 00:06:49,476 --> 00:06:51,076 That's what she says. (phone alert playing) 159 00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:53,545 (gasping) Oh, my God, Jeremy. 160 00:06:53,547 --> 00:06:56,448 What does thumbs up, question mark mean? 161 00:06:56,450 --> 00:06:58,283 Thanks, skids, love you, B. 162 00:06:58,285 --> 00:07:00,752 Jeremy's totally thinking about me. 163 00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:02,387 Yeah, dude, I think he thinks about you. 164 00:07:02,389 --> 00:07:03,388 I think he (bleep) likes you. 165 00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:06,291 He jerks off to you all the time, I sense those things. 166 00:07:06,293 --> 00:07:09,127 I know sexual tension when I feel it-- 167 00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:11,463 Yeah, you do. 168 00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:12,831 Oh, my God... 169 00:07:12,833 --> 00:07:14,099 Will you leave me alone? 170 00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:16,368 We have to change your gauze out. 171 00:07:16,370 --> 00:07:17,269 Oh. 172 00:07:17,271 --> 00:07:19,104 I wanna go to Florida. 173 00:07:21,974 --> 00:07:23,775 (Jaimé) Okay, Jaimé. 174 00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:26,678 Okay, everything is now the childproof, we got this. 175 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:30,982 Abbi is weak right now, like a baby, like an infant. 176 00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:32,884 And I need to take care of her. 177 00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:35,720 And I need you to take care of me. 178 00:07:35,722 --> 00:07:38,356 Baby, I will like anticipate your every single need. 179 00:07:38,358 --> 00:07:41,860 Okay, first order of business is government medicine. Hmm. 180 00:07:41,862 --> 00:07:46,398 Abbi needs to take two Vicodin every four hours. 181 00:07:46,400 --> 00:07:49,167 Ah, good. (mumbling) 182 00:07:49,169 --> 00:07:51,069 What, now? 183 00:07:51,071 --> 00:07:52,804 Okay, Abbi, this little airplane 184 00:07:52,806 --> 00:07:54,806 is going to come into the hangar. 185 00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:57,342 Yes... okay, now close the hangar. 186 00:07:57,344 --> 00:07:58,977 Oh, you're so swollen, baby. 187 00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,278 Okay. 188 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:02,013 Okay. Peas, frozen peas. 189 00:08:02,015 --> 00:08:03,281 (Ilana mumbling to herself) 190 00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:07,052 Here we go, here we go, here we go now. 191 00:08:07,054 --> 00:08:10,755 Wow, it's been four hours already? 192 00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:13,892 Oh, my God, you are so out of it. 193 00:08:13,894 --> 00:08:15,627 I am really glad I'm here. 194 00:08:15,629 --> 00:08:16,328 (Jaimé) Okay. 195 00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:20,565 Okay, this is for the swelling of your face. 196 00:08:20,567 --> 00:08:21,066 Just rest on it. 197 00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:23,835 Okay, Jaimé, now, we have to do the two most important things 198 00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:25,337 a dental surgery victim needs. 199 00:08:25,339 --> 00:08:25,971 What is it? 200 00:08:25,973 --> 00:08:28,206 Give her Froyo and braid her hair. Of course. 201 00:08:28,208 --> 00:08:31,109 Okay, I need you to go 42 Squirts, 202 00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:32,744 and get me a real Abbi flavor. 203 00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:33,445 (sighing) 204 00:08:33,447 --> 00:08:34,346 You'll know when you see it. 205 00:08:34,348 --> 00:08:37,115 Ooh-whee, okay, well, okay. 206 00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:38,483 The flavor of Abbi. 207 00:08:38,485 --> 00:08:39,718 Can Jaimé capture the complexity 208 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:42,053 of this beautiful human being in one single flavor? 209 00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:43,255 Jaimé, I don't really have time for this. 210 00:08:43,257 --> 00:08:45,423 Abbi's blood mother is in Turks and Caicos, 211 00:08:45,425 --> 00:08:46,491 and I am her mother now. 212 00:08:46,493 --> 00:08:49,794 She needs me, she needs, you know, us, but... 213 00:08:49,796 --> 00:08:51,663 I will not disappoint you. 214 00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:53,031 Okay, baby. 215 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,367 And, hey, Jaimés. 216 00:08:55,369 --> 00:08:57,135 Have fun with it. 217 00:08:59,071 --> 00:09:03,074 Are you ready to get on the party train. 218 00:09:03,076 --> 00:09:03,675 First stop! 219 00:09:03,677 --> 00:09:07,579 Braid the (bleep) out of them silky-ass doll locks. 220 00:09:07,581 --> 00:09:10,148 Ow. I'm gonna get some scrunchies. 221 00:09:10,850 --> 00:09:13,618 (Jaimé) Okay, Jaimé, the flavor of Abbi. 222 00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:15,253 (slurping) 223 00:09:15,255 --> 00:09:19,758 ♪♪ 224 00:09:31,537 --> 00:09:32,904 Oh, (bleep) me. 225 00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:35,307 I guess I'll start from the top. 226 00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:39,210 Would you rather lick a dead man's penis, 227 00:09:39,212 --> 00:09:42,113 or have sex with the same person for the rest of your life? 228 00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:42,614 Penis. 229 00:09:42,616 --> 00:09:44,916 Would you rather eat ice cream for five hours straight, 230 00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:47,118 or shoot somebody in the knee? 231 00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:48,219 Knee. 232 00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:48,720 Yup. 233 00:09:48,722 --> 00:09:51,823 Ilana, I don't feel good, I feel really weird. 234 00:09:51,825 --> 00:09:52,457 I knew it. 235 00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:55,493 Western medicine fails us again. 236 00:09:55,495 --> 00:09:57,829 Thanks a lot, Doctor Oz. 237 00:09:57,831 --> 00:09:58,396 You know what? 238 00:09:58,398 --> 00:10:00,799 I'm gonna give you a little bit of my homemade 239 00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:03,068 "Strega Nona" recipe. 240 00:10:03,070 --> 00:10:04,436 Strega Nona... 241 00:10:04,438 --> 00:10:06,104 (laughing) 242 00:10:06,106 --> 00:10:07,372 Firecrackers, baby. 243 00:10:07,374 --> 00:10:08,206 What's a firecracker? 244 00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:09,174 It was what we were on that time that 245 00:10:09,176 --> 00:10:12,978 that dude jerked off on your pocketbook in Bryant Park. 246 00:10:12,980 --> 00:10:13,878 He was cool. 247 00:10:13,880 --> 00:10:16,982 But not as cool as Jeremy, right? 248 00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:24,389 ♪♪ 249 00:10:39,271 --> 00:10:40,672 (microwave beeps) 250 00:10:44,343 --> 00:10:46,011 (bell rings) 251 00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:55,987 You know what, Jeremy? 252 00:10:55,989 --> 00:11:00,158 I will say it again. 253 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:01,993 I like you. 254 00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:03,561 I want us to go out and... 255 00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:05,330 What are you doing? Just be open with it. 256 00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:06,031 What are you doing? 257 00:11:06,033 --> 00:11:08,166 I'm telling Jeremy I like him. (gasping) 258 00:11:08,168 --> 00:11:09,067 You told me to. What? 259 00:11:09,069 --> 00:11:12,537 23 minutes, (bleep) me. You told me to. 260 00:11:12,539 --> 00:11:16,274 Yeah, but not while you're jacked-up on Uncle Sam pills. 261 00:11:16,276 --> 00:11:17,842 Jesus, come on. 262 00:11:17,844 --> 00:11:20,845 Take this firecracker smoothie. 263 00:11:20,847 --> 00:11:22,380 All right. 264 00:11:23,115 --> 00:11:25,016 Ow. 265 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:25,450 Ow. 266 00:11:25,452 --> 00:11:28,386 You know, I wish I could have one, but I gotta be responsible. 267 00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:30,789 And don't you worry about leaving that message for Jeremy. 268 00:11:30,791 --> 00:11:33,892 You are gonna forget that in seven minutes. 269 00:11:35,961 --> 00:11:37,128 Jaimé? 270 00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:38,096 Okay. 271 00:11:38,098 --> 00:11:40,799 No, please, can you go in front of me? 272 00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:42,233 Please, thank you. 273 00:11:42,235 --> 00:11:44,602 Eh, toppings, toppings, toppings, toppings, 274 00:11:44,604 --> 00:11:46,905 toppings, toppings, toppings... 275 00:11:47,973 --> 00:11:49,140 Let's see, Cap'n Crunch? 276 00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:52,077 No, it's too chemically and that's no good. 277 00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:53,111 Dark chocolate chip? 278 00:11:53,113 --> 00:11:55,580 No, it's too crunchy for Abbi right now. 279 00:11:55,582 --> 00:11:56,414 Ew, gummy candies? 280 00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:58,783 Excuse me, these do not go with the Froyo. 281 00:11:58,785 --> 00:12:01,453 In case you were wondering. 282 00:12:01,455 --> 00:12:03,722 Gorp... what is Gorp? 283 00:12:03,724 --> 00:12:05,223 "Good ol' raisins and peanuts ." 284 00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:09,127 Why would we want all raisins and peanuts? 285 00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:12,097 (sobbing) Aye, aye. 286 00:12:12,099 --> 00:12:15,333 ♪ Abbi dabbi dab my ♪ 287 00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:17,936 ♪ Beautiful queen she's my ♪ 288 00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:21,439 ♪ My beautiful queen she's... ♪ 289 00:12:21,441 --> 00:12:23,575 (Abbi sighing) 290 00:12:23,577 --> 00:12:24,876 (laughing) 291 00:12:27,513 --> 00:12:28,913 Namaste, children of light. 292 00:12:28,915 --> 00:12:32,217 Welcome to another installment of "How To With Dr. Whiz." 293 00:12:32,219 --> 00:12:35,687 Today, I'm gonna show you how to meditate proper-- 294 00:12:35,689 --> 00:12:38,389 Ilana, what the (bleep) that! 295 00:12:38,391 --> 00:12:39,023 It's Abbi. 296 00:12:39,025 --> 00:12:41,426 I am killing this mom-slash-nurse thing. 297 00:12:41,428 --> 00:12:42,694 Doesn't she look gorgeous? 298 00:12:42,696 --> 00:12:43,928 I would think that you could surmise 299 00:12:43,930 --> 00:12:47,132 from my initial reaction that she doesn't. 300 00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:47,899 She needs rest, Ilana. 301 00:12:47,901 --> 00:12:51,469 Okay, Jeez, you're the one who's being loud. 302 00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:55,340 You know what? 303 00:12:55,342 --> 00:12:56,274 I deserve a break. 304 00:12:56,276 --> 00:13:02,347 You wanna show me your old LL Cool J, your Lincoln Log? 305 00:13:02,349 --> 00:13:03,148 No! 306 00:13:03,150 --> 00:13:05,083 I'll show you my tah-tahs. 307 00:13:05,085 --> 00:13:06,484 Yes. 308 00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:07,452 (echoing) Yes! 309 00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:11,322 (Ilana's voice echoing) Show me your penis. 310 00:13:14,527 --> 00:13:17,729 Oh, goodie, you're awake! 311 00:13:17,731 --> 00:13:21,099 We're gonna have so much fun! 312 00:13:21,101 --> 00:13:24,702 Let's go play outside. 313 00:13:24,704 --> 00:13:27,105 Come on, Abbi! 314 00:13:27,306 --> 00:13:31,509 Man, I hate to see it, but you got boyfriend penis, bro. 315 00:13:31,511 --> 00:13:32,477 (chuckling) 316 00:13:32,479 --> 00:13:34,946 Dude, check this out. 317 00:13:34,948 --> 00:13:37,382 I made my torso a face. 318 00:13:37,384 --> 00:13:38,216 Do you know who it is? 319 00:13:38,218 --> 00:13:41,252 I'm guessing an old person 'cause the eyes are low 320 00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:43,855 and swinging and drooping, 321 00:13:43,857 --> 00:13:45,223 but in a way that makes me hard. 322 00:13:45,225 --> 00:13:50,395 I never thought that a old people face would make me hard. 323 00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:51,362 That's nice to know. 324 00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:52,130 You are gonna be an old dude 325 00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:55,700 with so many boners in a non-creepy way. 326 00:13:55,702 --> 00:13:56,801 That's hot. 327 00:13:56,803 --> 00:13:57,735 (laughing) 328 00:13:57,737 --> 00:13:58,570 Okay, who is it? 329 00:13:58,572 --> 00:14:00,205 Do you know which old person it is? 330 00:14:00,207 --> 00:14:01,506 I don't know, who is it? 331 00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:02,974 I-I don't know. 332 00:14:02,976 --> 00:14:03,875 Do you know? 333 00:14:03,877 --> 00:14:06,110 What are we doing here? Who did you draw? 334 00:14:06,112 --> 00:14:07,579 No, I don't know. 335 00:14:07,581 --> 00:14:08,780 Maybe Abbi'll know. 336 00:14:08,782 --> 00:14:09,914 Hey! Abbi, wake up, Ab! 337 00:14:09,916 --> 00:14:13,351 (Lincoln) Ilana, let her sleep, let her rest. 338 00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:16,254 Ab? Abbi? 339 00:14:16,256 --> 00:14:18,289 Abbi?! 340 00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:19,524 Abbi! 341 00:14:21,493 --> 00:14:22,694 She's just gone. 342 00:14:22,696 --> 00:14:23,461 The door was wide open. 343 00:14:23,463 --> 00:14:25,864 It's gonna get dark in a couple hours. 344 00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:26,965 Okay, calm down. 345 00:14:26,967 --> 00:14:28,266 (bleep) you, don't tell me to calm down! 346 00:14:28,268 --> 00:14:29,767 I hate when men tell women that. 347 00:14:29,769 --> 00:14:30,635 Okay, I'm sure she's fine. 348 00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:33,438 Just needed some air or something, just call her. 349 00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:35,406 I can't, I took her phone away. 350 00:14:35,408 --> 00:14:37,809 She called Jeremy to declare her love, 351 00:14:37,811 --> 00:14:39,210 and my brain's been a dud all day. 352 00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:41,279 I haven't smoked once, I didn't even vape. 353 00:14:41,281 --> 00:14:42,547 This is all my fault. 354 00:14:42,549 --> 00:14:45,316 Okay, if you can keep her on her meds schedule, she'll be okay. 355 00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:48,253 She'll be a little fuzzy, but at least she'll be coherent. 356 00:14:48,255 --> 00:14:50,088 I lied, I (bleep) lied, dude! 357 00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:52,624 I gave her the strongest form of weed possible. 358 00:14:52,626 --> 00:14:53,291 Other than dabbing. 359 00:14:53,293 --> 00:14:55,760 I gotta find this bitch, I'll talk to you later. 360 00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:56,294 Abbi! 361 00:14:56,296 --> 00:15:01,532 It's my fault, I should've seen this coming from a mile away. 362 00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:04,402 ♪♪ 363 00:15:10,576 --> 00:15:13,344 Chug chug chug chug. 364 00:15:23,555 --> 00:15:25,089 Abbi! 365 00:15:29,461 --> 00:15:30,161 What is this place? 366 00:15:30,163 --> 00:15:33,965 Its the most magical place in all the land. 367 00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:36,901 Whole Foods! Wow. 368 00:15:36,903 --> 00:15:38,603 Yeah, the neighborhood's really changed. 369 00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:40,538 It's a whole new Gowanus. 370 00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:41,039 Come on! 371 00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:43,775 Let's hurry up before the lines get long! 372 00:15:44,977 --> 00:15:46,644 (bell tinkling) 373 00:15:46,646 --> 00:15:47,345 Excuse me? 374 00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:50,348 Hey, did you see a beautiful, sumptuous model-type 375 00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:51,149 come through? 376 00:15:51,151 --> 00:15:52,884 Long silky hair like a horse's main? 377 00:15:52,886 --> 00:15:54,419 The only thing I see is that crazy woman 378 00:15:54,421 --> 00:15:58,890 who bought two Yoo-hoos and drop a bottle on the floor. 379 00:16:01,226 --> 00:16:01,826 Yoo-hoo. 380 00:16:01,828 --> 00:16:03,561 Yeah, that's what I just said. 381 00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:04,395 Thank you so much. 382 00:16:04,397 --> 00:16:06,297 Get out of my store, get out of my-- Oh! 383 00:16:06,299 --> 00:16:07,832 I'm sick and tired of this. Oh. 384 00:16:07,834 --> 00:16:08,933 Get out. 385 00:16:08,935 --> 00:16:09,801 Hey! 386 00:16:09,803 --> 00:16:11,469 (hisses) 387 00:16:12,905 --> 00:16:14,906 Punk. 388 00:16:14,908 --> 00:16:16,607 Dick, bitch. 389 00:16:19,878 --> 00:16:20,912 I'm coming, Ab! 390 00:16:20,914 --> 00:16:22,180 Hearts of palm! 391 00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:23,681 Abbi, buy me that. 392 00:16:23,683 --> 00:16:25,583 I love hearts of palm. 393 00:16:25,585 --> 00:16:27,518 Whoo-whee! 394 00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:29,454 Ooh, bulk granola. 395 00:16:29,456 --> 00:16:31,789 Buy me that, Abbi. 396 00:16:31,791 --> 00:16:33,958 (sighing) Manuka honey. 397 00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:35,526 So reasonably priced. 398 00:16:35,528 --> 00:16:37,996 Buy me that, Abbi! 399 00:16:37,998 --> 00:16:39,731 Oh, great! 400 00:16:39,733 --> 00:16:42,166 Mmm, this is some high-class (bleep). 401 00:16:42,168 --> 00:16:44,736 Ooh, earth-friendly cereals. 402 00:16:44,738 --> 00:16:46,170 Knock 'em over, Abbi. 403 00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:48,639 They wanna be on the ground. 404 00:16:48,641 --> 00:16:49,040 Whoo-hoo! 405 00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:54,245 Next up, probiotics, a Neti Pot and a bag of douche. 406 00:16:54,247 --> 00:16:55,480 Ha-ha! 407 00:16:56,582 --> 00:16:58,049 Abbi! 408 00:17:00,119 --> 00:17:02,086 Abbi! 409 00:17:06,058 --> 00:17:10,194 That'll be $1,487.56. 410 00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:11,963 Use your new credit card, Abbi. 411 00:17:11,965 --> 00:17:13,331 You got it because you thought you needed 412 00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:15,333 more than one card to be an adult, right? 413 00:17:15,335 --> 00:17:18,236 Well, now's your chance to be one! 414 00:17:18,238 --> 00:17:21,305 Plus, you'll get Starwood's points. 415 00:17:21,307 --> 00:17:23,474 Mmmm, I'm so proud of you! 416 00:17:23,476 --> 00:17:27,311 Quick, let's get this into a bunker before the big one hits. 417 00:17:27,313 --> 00:17:29,147 Abbi! 418 00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:30,648 Abbi Abrams! 419 00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:32,483 (phone vibrating) 420 00:17:32,485 --> 00:17:34,552 Woah... 421 00:17:36,088 --> 00:17:36,721 Hello? 422 00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:39,657 (robotic voice) There has been some unusual activity on your account 423 00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:42,727 and we'd like to confirm that you, Abbi Abrams, 424 00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:46,898 made a purchase of $1,487.56 425 00:17:46,900 --> 00:17:50,601 at the Whole Foods in Gowanus, Brooklyn. 426 00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:54,138 Oh, my God, of course, she's hungry as (bleep). 427 00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:57,608 From your clear answer, I can tell you are Abbi Abrams, 428 00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:59,377 and this was not a fraudulent charge. 429 00:17:59,379 --> 00:18:02,780 Thank you for doing business with One Trust, goodbye. 430 00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:07,051 ♪ On the flip side you crazy bitch ♪ 431 00:18:07,053 --> 00:18:10,888 ♪♪ 432 00:18:10,890 --> 00:18:14,325 Damn, this neighborhood is changing. 433 00:18:14,327 --> 00:18:17,261 ♪♪ 434 00:18:17,263 --> 00:18:19,230 (both laughing) 435 00:18:19,232 --> 00:18:21,432 Stop it, that's so inappropriate. 436 00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:25,803 Oh, (bleep), it's Strega Nona the weed witch! 437 00:18:25,805 --> 00:18:26,871 Peace, mortals. 438 00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:29,407 Are you okay, you scared the (bleep) out of me. 439 00:18:29,409 --> 00:18:31,742 God dammit, my manuka honey! 440 00:18:31,744 --> 00:18:33,644 I got you, Bingo Bronson! Abbi, no! 441 00:18:33,646 --> 00:18:36,047 (glass shattering) Ow! 442 00:18:36,049 --> 00:18:36,948 Airball. 443 00:18:36,950 --> 00:18:38,749 Oh, my (bleep) ankle. 444 00:18:38,751 --> 00:18:41,786 Oh, my God, sorry. 445 00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:43,688 I love you, Abbi! 446 00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:44,689 See you soon. 447 00:18:44,691 --> 00:18:46,657 I love you, Bingo Bronson! 448 00:18:46,659 --> 00:18:48,359 (Ilana) So sorry, sorry. 449 00:18:48,361 --> 00:18:50,495 Oh, my God, you're so scary. 450 00:18:56,435 --> 00:18:57,602 So Abbi's vitals are fine. 451 00:18:57,604 --> 00:18:58,870 She just needs plenty of sleep. 452 00:18:58,872 --> 00:19:02,940 I feel like an old-timey doctor right now making house calls. 453 00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:04,842 I should get an apothecary bag, right? 454 00:19:04,844 --> 00:19:09,680 Oh, my God, I am so Horny right now, it hurts. 455 00:19:09,682 --> 00:19:11,215 Oh, yeah? 456 00:19:11,217 --> 00:19:13,885 It hurts. 457 00:19:13,887 --> 00:19:16,053 Good night, Abbi-dab. 458 00:19:16,055 --> 00:19:19,257 Everybody safe and s... 459 00:19:19,259 --> 00:19:20,625 Jaimé! 460 00:19:20,627 --> 00:19:22,193 (Jaimé) Are you Abbi? 461 00:19:22,195 --> 00:19:23,561 Where are you, Abbi? 462 00:19:23,563 --> 00:19:25,396 Sir? We're closing. 463 00:19:25,398 --> 00:19:29,800 Just pick any flavor, they're all chemicals. 464 00:19:29,802 --> 00:19:32,904 (vomiting) 465 00:19:32,906 --> 00:19:34,572 Come on. 466 00:19:34,574 --> 00:19:35,907 So sorry. 467 00:19:37,743 --> 00:19:39,443 It's the Gummi Bears. 468 00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:44,782 Hey, Ab, hey. 469 00:19:44,784 --> 00:19:46,350 Oh, hey, Jer. 470 00:19:46,352 --> 00:19:47,084 Hi, 'sup? 471 00:19:47,086 --> 00:19:50,821 So... I got your call yesterday. 472 00:19:50,823 --> 00:19:51,656 Um, my what? 473 00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:55,693 That really long voice mail you left me where you asked me out. 474 00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:56,761 Oh, no, don't-- 475 00:19:56,763 --> 00:20:00,565 No, I was just in... I had surgery, I was-- so many... 476 00:20:00,567 --> 00:20:03,301 There were so many drugs and I was-- so that's... 477 00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:06,437 You know I'm getting... My phone's ringing here. 478 00:20:06,439 --> 00:20:07,271 Hello? Hi. 479 00:20:07,273 --> 00:20:10,708 No, why would I throw-up on my clothes? Abbi. 480 00:20:10,710 --> 00:20:13,444 I'm not crazy-- Yeah, I am Jewish... Abbi. 481 00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:15,446 It has nothing to do with it. Abbi, don't. 482 00:20:15,448 --> 00:20:16,881 Abbi, just listen to me. Abbi! 483 00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:18,182 Listen! Listen, listen. 484 00:20:18,184 --> 00:20:19,250 Hey! Hey! 485 00:20:19,252 --> 00:20:24,422 I would love to go out with you on an official... thing. 486 00:20:24,424 --> 00:20:28,092 Oh, and I loved your Drew Barrymore impersonation. 487 00:20:28,094 --> 00:20:30,294 Amazing. 488 00:20:30,296 --> 00:20:32,230 ♪♪ 489 00:20:40,739 --> 00:20:42,807 So, I guess I'll give you a call. 490 00:20:42,809 --> 00:20:45,910 Yeah, that was-- yeah. 491 00:20:45,912 --> 00:20:46,644 Okay. 492 00:20:46,646 --> 00:20:49,947 Okay, ring her up-- me. 493 00:20:54,486 --> 00:20:55,886 (door closing) 494 00:20:55,888 --> 00:20:58,556 ♪♪ 495 00:21:06,565 --> 00:21:08,766 ♪♪ 496 00:21:10,502 --> 00:21:13,971 Oh, I was making-- this is all good. 497 00:21:13,973 --> 00:21:17,775 That is good and this is... There something wrong with it? 498 00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:19,844 locking that up. 499 00:21:19,846 --> 00:21:21,345 See you later, Jer.