1 00:00:03,570 --> 00:00:04,169 Hello. 2 00:00:04,171 --> 00:00:07,840 We would love to use our free passes to see one movie 3 00:00:07,842 --> 00:00:09,274 and only one movie. 4 00:00:09,276 --> 00:00:11,910 Um, we're gonna see... "Fang for a Fang." 5 00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:13,979 Gotta support book adaptations. 6 00:00:15,048 --> 00:00:16,882 You read the book? No. 7 00:00:16,884 --> 00:00:17,983 Thank you. 8 00:00:17,985 --> 00:00:18,984 Okay. Have a good rest. 9 00:00:18,986 --> 00:00:20,953 (man) Gun it, bitch, without that cocaine, 10 00:00:20,955 --> 00:00:23,489 I can't control the other werewolves. 11 00:00:23,491 --> 00:00:25,858 Um, I'm confused. 12 00:00:25,860 --> 00:00:28,627 Chris Rock is killing all the werewolves, 13 00:00:28,629 --> 00:00:31,330 but he is also a werewolf. 14 00:00:31,332 --> 00:00:33,065 This movie makes no sense. 15 00:00:33,067 --> 00:00:34,600 I love it. 16 00:00:37,470 --> 00:00:41,573 (woman) I don't care what the principal says, I'm in love with you. 17 00:00:41,575 --> 00:00:42,941 Did you bring any more almond milk? 18 00:00:42,943 --> 00:00:45,277 (chair thumping) Yeah, I just... 19 00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:46,412 Ow. Shush! 20 00:00:46,414 --> 00:00:49,148 I'm just trying-- Shh! 21 00:00:49,150 --> 00:00:50,749 I'm just trying... 22 00:00:50,751 --> 00:00:52,484 (muttering) 23 00:00:56,156 --> 00:00:57,356 Do you want any popcorn? 24 00:00:57,358 --> 00:01:00,426 There's Milk Duds on the bottom, actually. 25 00:01:00,428 --> 00:01:01,927 All right, yeah. 26 00:01:01,929 --> 00:01:03,695 My favorite. 27 00:01:05,765 --> 00:01:07,199 Ilana... 28 00:01:07,201 --> 00:01:09,768 Are you (bleep) kidding me? 29 00:01:12,472 --> 00:01:14,006 That's not cool dude. 30 00:01:14,274 --> 00:01:17,276 Hello, sir, we'd like to report that the sound 31 00:01:17,278 --> 00:01:18,944 was really subpar. 32 00:01:18,946 --> 00:01:21,647 The Dolby was nowhere near 5.1-- 33 00:01:21,649 --> 00:01:23,515 Great, okay. 34 00:01:23,517 --> 00:01:24,450 See you next week. 35 00:01:24,452 --> 00:01:27,486 ♪ Four and three and two and one one ♪ 36 00:01:27,488 --> 00:01:30,055 ♪♪ 37 00:01:31,458 --> 00:01:34,426 All major religions have a dual god system, 38 00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:36,862 one visible face and one invisible. 39 00:01:36,864 --> 00:01:40,065 Okay, call me after Dave and Busters. 40 00:01:40,067 --> 00:01:41,433 Say hi to your mom. 41 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:42,835 Hi, Abbi-dabbi. 42 00:01:42,837 --> 00:01:44,570 Smells like you've been working out. 43 00:01:44,572 --> 00:01:45,137 What is this? 44 00:01:45,139 --> 00:01:48,107 I have been making some home improvements. 45 00:01:48,109 --> 00:01:49,274 This way we don't have to trudge 46 00:01:49,276 --> 00:01:52,344 all the way to the master fridge. 47 00:01:53,146 --> 00:01:54,246 Watch. 48 00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:56,849 It's like two feet farther. Simple. 49 00:01:56,851 --> 00:01:59,051 I don't think this is a good idea. 50 00:01:59,053 --> 00:01:59,551 Elegant. 51 00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:01,520 Bevers, do you want me to get it? 52 00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:03,055 It's heavy. 53 00:02:03,057 --> 00:02:08,427 It's clearly gonna... the floor. Oh, (bleep). 54 00:02:09,596 --> 00:02:10,429 I'm sorry. 55 00:02:10,431 --> 00:02:13,265 I guess I don't know my own strength. 56 00:02:13,267 --> 00:02:14,566 Holy (bleep). 57 00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:16,969 Bevers, what is on your back? 58 00:02:16,971 --> 00:02:18,170 You know, I don't know. 59 00:02:18,172 --> 00:02:22,407 I just know it itches a lot, and it really hurts. 60 00:02:22,409 --> 00:02:23,342 Is it a mosquito bite? 61 00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:26,211 No, that is definitely not a mosquito bite. 62 00:02:26,213 --> 00:02:27,679 I think it's a bed sore. 63 00:02:27,681 --> 00:02:29,815 I've only been sitting on the couch-- so, technically, 64 00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:31,450 you're gonna have to call it a couch sore, but-- 65 00:02:31,452 --> 00:02:34,920 How have you been on my couch long enough to get a couch sore? 66 00:02:34,922 --> 00:02:38,624 You don't even live here, your girlfriend does. 67 00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:40,626 Where's Melody? 68 00:02:40,628 --> 00:02:41,727 You just missed her. 69 00:02:41,729 --> 00:02:43,462 She's on her way to Port-au-Prince right now. 70 00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:45,664 Of course she is. She leaves her boyfriend here 71 00:02:45,666 --> 00:02:48,200 to go on, what, some (bleep) cruise? 72 00:02:48,202 --> 00:02:48,800 Uh, no. 73 00:02:48,802 --> 00:02:51,403 She's spearheading Habitat for Humanity down there. 74 00:02:51,405 --> 00:02:54,706 I know everybody else has moved on to the new hip tragedy, 75 00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:57,442 but it's still a mess down in Haiti. 76 00:02:57,444 --> 00:02:59,144 I know it is. 77 00:02:59,146 --> 00:03:00,345 Terrible. 78 00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:02,681 You need to get off of my couch. 79 00:03:03,049 --> 00:03:07,586 You need to take a long hard look at yourself right now. 80 00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:10,055 This is so disgusting. 81 00:03:10,057 --> 00:03:11,723 Just do something with your life. 82 00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:13,158 Do anything. 83 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:13,825 Jesus. 84 00:03:13,827 --> 00:03:16,762 I can't-- I can't do this, Bevers. 85 00:03:18,831 --> 00:03:19,698 Ow. 86 00:03:19,700 --> 00:03:20,199 Please stop. 87 00:03:20,201 --> 00:03:23,835 I'm trying to be all Zen Buddha, you know? 88 00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:24,803 Tea. 89 00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:26,071 Hey, Nicole. 90 00:03:26,073 --> 00:03:27,372 Nic, Nic, Nic. 91 00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:29,775 Do you ever, um, get hair from your head 92 00:03:29,777 --> 00:03:31,610 stuck in your butt crack in the shower? 93 00:03:31,612 --> 00:03:32,311 Do you? 94 00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:33,745 Ilana? Hey, Buddy, what's up? 95 00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:38,483 My therapist has encouraged me to write down my feelings. 96 00:03:38,485 --> 00:03:40,419 I didn't know you go to a therapist-- Me, too. 97 00:03:40,421 --> 00:03:44,957 "Dear Ilana, when you do not do work, 98 00:03:44,959 --> 00:03:49,328 I feel disrespected and-- 99 00:03:49,330 --> 00:03:50,696 I had no idea. And less then. 100 00:03:50,698 --> 00:03:55,567 I will be out for the rest of the day, and when I return, 101 00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:59,171 you-- you need to have gotten a deal, 102 00:03:59,173 --> 00:04:02,074 or I will have to... 103 00:04:02,076 --> 00:04:04,376 let you go. 104 00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:07,212 Very sincerely, Todd." 105 00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:13,051 You know what? 106 00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:14,553 Challenge accepted. 107 00:04:14,555 --> 00:04:16,088 Okay? I'm proud of you. 108 00:04:16,090 --> 00:04:17,189 That was great. 109 00:04:17,191 --> 00:04:19,992 Yeah, I'll do it, I'll work. Thank you. 110 00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:26,898 Bevers? 111 00:04:28,067 --> 00:04:29,701 Bevers? 112 00:04:33,306 --> 00:04:35,073 Hello? 113 00:04:39,412 --> 00:04:42,180 ♪ There ain't no reason you and me should be alone ♪ 114 00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:46,752 ♪ Tonight yeah baby tonight yeah baby ♪ 115 00:04:46,754 --> 00:04:49,554 ♪ And I got a reason that you're who should ♪ 116 00:04:49,556 --> 00:04:51,923 ♪ Take me home tonight ♪ 117 00:04:54,227 --> 00:04:56,194 ♪ I need a man that thinks it's right ♪ 118 00:04:56,196 --> 00:04:57,229 ♪ When it's so wrong ♪ 119 00:04:57,231 --> 00:05:01,533 ♪ Tonight yeah baby tonight yeah baby ♪ 120 00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:06,805 ♪ Right on the limits where we know we both belong tonight ♪ 121 00:05:08,508 --> 00:05:12,477 ♪ It's hard to feel the rush ♪ 122 00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:15,681 ♪ To brush the dangerous ♪ 123 00:05:15,683 --> 00:05:19,785 ♪ I'm gonna run right to to the edge with you ♪ 124 00:05:19,787 --> 00:05:23,655 ♪ Where we can both fall far in love ♪ 125 00:05:23,657 --> 00:05:26,124 ♪ I'm on the edge ♪ 126 00:05:26,126 --> 00:05:27,626 ♪ Of glory ♪ 127 00:05:27,628 --> 00:05:31,063 ♪ And I'm hanging on a moment of truth ♪ 128 00:05:31,065 --> 00:05:33,198 ♪ Out on the edge ♪♪ 129 00:05:40,139 --> 00:05:44,209 Hey, Nicole, how would you describe exactly 130 00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:48,947 what it is we "do" at this "company."? 131 00:05:48,949 --> 00:05:51,183 Todd told you to work. 132 00:05:51,185 --> 00:05:52,918 I am, Nicoletta. 133 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:54,553 I'm hiring interns. 134 00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:56,388 Yeah, two words, baby. 135 00:05:56,390 --> 00:06:00,592 Steve Jobs... techno-visionary, 136 00:06:00,594 --> 00:06:03,595 created many jobs. 137 00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:05,030 Oh, okay. 138 00:06:05,032 --> 00:06:06,398 See you later. 139 00:06:07,834 --> 00:06:08,900 Wow, wow, wow. 140 00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:11,937 This is an incredible resume. 141 00:06:11,939 --> 00:06:14,573 Did you print this yourself? 142 00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:17,175 Yeah, you just, uh, press "Ctrl P." 143 00:06:17,177 --> 00:06:20,011 Wow, wow, wow, wow. 144 00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:24,082 My biggest weakness is that I lose my purse a lot. 145 00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:27,619 But then my biggest strength is that I always get it back. 146 00:06:27,987 --> 00:06:28,820 Does that answer your question? 147 00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:31,990 You asked me the question, and then just started answering 148 00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:33,825 it yourself. 149 00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:35,360 Excellent listening skills. 150 00:06:35,362 --> 00:06:36,862 I've been taking the PATH train into Manhattan 151 00:06:36,864 --> 00:06:39,564 every morning-- not great for my thigh bursitis. 152 00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:42,567 But on the bright side, my kids sure are happy 153 00:06:42,569 --> 00:06:44,102 to have me out of the house. 154 00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:45,137 Gotta tell you, Frank, 155 00:06:45,139 --> 00:06:49,975 this would absolutely be a pity hire. 156 00:06:50,777 --> 00:06:51,543 That would be amazing. 157 00:06:51,545 --> 00:06:56,014 I just don't think you're Deals Deals Deals material. 158 00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:57,883 I already work here. 159 00:06:58,384 --> 00:07:00,852 Stop letting strangers in the building. 160 00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:02,921 Sorry about that. 161 00:07:04,524 --> 00:07:07,492 Oh, you missed the... all right. 162 00:07:09,328 --> 00:07:10,695 What up, Trey? 163 00:07:10,697 --> 00:07:11,897 So much better. 164 00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:12,664 Thank you for asking. 165 00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:14,599 You know I have been in such a funk lately, 166 00:07:14,601 --> 00:07:17,035 'cause you know I donated $14,000 to Zach Braff's 167 00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:20,238 kick-starter, and-- Fourteen thousand dollars? 168 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:21,706 I mean that's a lot of money. 169 00:07:21,708 --> 00:07:24,209 Yeah, my whole savings, but it was worth every penny. 170 00:07:24,211 --> 00:07:27,679 The bummer is that they spelled my name wrong in the credits, 171 00:07:27,681 --> 00:07:29,581 and I didn't get my set visit. 172 00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:31,983 But, you know what, today is a new day. 173 00:07:31,985 --> 00:07:32,651 Cha-chinga! 174 00:07:32,653 --> 00:07:35,854 Yeah, you know what, I'm in a really good mood today, too. 175 00:07:35,856 --> 00:07:37,589 Today is a che-chinga. 176 00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:40,058 It's "cha-chinga." But that's great. 177 00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:41,393 Our cycles must be synched. 178 00:07:41,395 --> 00:07:42,828 Our-- Our happiness cycles. 179 00:07:42,830 --> 00:07:46,531 Yeah, you're normally so sad and sickly and depressed, 180 00:07:46,533 --> 00:07:49,000 but today you're rocking positive vibes. 181 00:07:49,002 --> 00:07:51,236 All you, buddy. All you, all you. 182 00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:51,937 Nice work, brother. 183 00:07:51,939 --> 00:07:54,005 You know what, I do feel like my vibes 184 00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:55,874 are like off the chain today. 185 00:07:55,876 --> 00:08:00,745 You know what, you seem ready to rise up and meet an opportunity. 186 00:08:00,747 --> 00:08:03,181 Would you like to assist me today? 187 00:08:03,183 --> 00:08:03,782 I would love to. 188 00:08:03,784 --> 00:08:06,451 Rock on, Garth let's party. Yeah, let's rock it. 189 00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:07,452 And guess what? 190 00:08:07,454 --> 00:08:09,621 I found my muse. 191 00:08:12,058 --> 00:08:13,458 Hey, Abbi. 192 00:08:14,627 --> 00:08:19,297 Bevers. 193 00:08:19,299 --> 00:08:20,532 You guys know each other? 194 00:08:20,534 --> 00:08:22,667 You two boyfriend-girlfriend? God, no. 195 00:08:22,669 --> 00:08:24,069 He's my roommate's boyfriend. 196 00:08:24,071 --> 00:08:25,237 So, you know his body. 197 00:08:25,239 --> 00:08:25,871 This is great. 198 00:08:25,873 --> 00:08:27,973 I could use an extra hand, because I'm documenting 199 00:08:27,975 --> 00:08:31,743 his transformation for bodybytrey.biz, my website. 200 00:08:31,745 --> 00:08:32,811 Will you help me train him? 201 00:08:32,813 --> 00:08:36,314 Yeah, I'll help you train Bevers. Great. 202 00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:37,916 Give me five more minutes on that elliptical, 203 00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:39,284 then Abbi will stretch you out. 204 00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:40,619 Thumbs up. 205 00:08:40,621 --> 00:08:41,520 He's incredible. 206 00:08:41,522 --> 00:08:44,289 All right, I'm gonna go grab my Lumia and take some pics. 207 00:08:44,291 --> 00:08:47,058 He is the perfect "before" picture. 208 00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:50,195 A lump of clay we're gonna sculpt together, Abbi. 209 00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:50,762 Okay. 210 00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:52,664 He's gonna be my Garden State. 211 00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:54,933 (slap) Okay. 212 00:08:54,935 --> 00:08:56,668 Kinda inappropriate. 213 00:09:00,773 --> 00:09:02,507 Wow. 214 00:09:02,509 --> 00:09:03,942 Ilana? Yes? 215 00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:05,343 This is Todd's desk. 216 00:09:05,345 --> 00:09:06,011 Yes, mhm. 217 00:09:06,013 --> 00:09:08,713 And I thought you were hiring one intern. 218 00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:11,716 I know, but look at the diversity I'm bringing 219 00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:12,551 to this company. 220 00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:14,185 Frank lives in Hoboken. 221 00:09:14,187 --> 00:09:16,321 He's a modern-day gypsy. 222 00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:18,823 And, hey, the company can afford it. 223 00:09:18,825 --> 00:09:21,026 Because you're not paying them. 224 00:09:21,028 --> 00:09:21,826 Exactly. 225 00:09:21,828 --> 00:09:25,897 You and I are seriously like mind meld, on the same page. 226 00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:27,265 You gotta check this out, too. 227 00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:29,601 These are dinosaurs, stills of dinosaurs. 228 00:09:29,603 --> 00:09:31,903 They're made of the same thing stars are made of, 229 00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,204 which is what we are made of... 230 00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:36,074 (phone vibrating) 231 00:09:37,209 --> 00:09:38,543 Do we have to keep doing this? 232 00:09:38,545 --> 00:09:40,011 It's the three in the middle. 233 00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:40,779 I keep telling you that. 234 00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:42,681 You were attacked in broad daylight. 235 00:09:42,683 --> 00:09:46,217 We have to make sure this gang doesn't hit anybody else. 236 00:09:46,886 --> 00:09:50,922 Okay, number four, please step forward, say your line. 237 00:09:52,024 --> 00:09:54,392 Nice razor scooter, pencil dick. 238 00:09:54,394 --> 00:09:56,761 You aborted-- Macklemore (bleep). 239 00:09:56,763 --> 00:10:00,599 You (bleep) look-alike Albert Nobbs. 240 00:10:00,967 --> 00:10:03,134 I wish I hadn't reported this. 241 00:10:03,136 --> 00:10:03,868 Number five. 242 00:10:03,870 --> 00:10:05,837 Nice razor scooter, pencil dick. 243 00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:07,806 You aborted Macklemore mother... 244 00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:10,809 Bevers, what are you even doing here? 245 00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:14,379 Well, that stuff you said last night really got me thinking 246 00:10:14,381 --> 00:10:15,380 I can be better. 247 00:10:15,382 --> 00:10:17,582 I need to start by improving my physical form. 248 00:10:17,584 --> 00:10:21,086 That's great, but there are so many gyms in Astoria 249 00:10:21,088 --> 00:10:24,589 closer to our apartment, closer to my apartment. 250 00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:27,058 Jesus, why'd you have to come to this one? 251 00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:30,829 This is the only gym my friend Abbi works in, 252 00:10:30,831 --> 00:10:32,797 plus they provide free razors. 253 00:10:32,799 --> 00:10:34,332 You have a beard. 254 00:10:35,701 --> 00:10:36,668 Oh, God, ew. 255 00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:39,371 Abbi, angle his gluteus towards me. 256 00:10:39,373 --> 00:10:40,171 Yep, perfect. 257 00:10:40,173 --> 00:10:43,141 I'm excited to do this with you, Abbi. 258 00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:44,709 We can take the subway here together. 259 00:10:44,711 --> 00:10:47,045 I'll break for lunch whenever you do. 260 00:10:47,047 --> 00:10:48,013 We help each other. 261 00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:49,781 I don't need help, Bevers. 262 00:10:49,783 --> 00:10:50,749 Oh, really? 263 00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:55,020 'Cause I see someone is training instead of cleaning. 264 00:10:55,022 --> 00:10:57,455 It's already happening, Abbi. 265 00:10:58,057 --> 00:10:59,057 I mean, I guess so. 266 00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:01,159 Oh! (farts) I'm sorry. 267 00:11:01,161 --> 00:11:02,560 Okay, I think we're done. 268 00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:04,029 Abbi, if you farted, it's all right. 269 00:11:04,031 --> 00:11:05,330 Trey, I did not just fart. 270 00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:09,601 I moved his gluteus sensitive-- Yeah, that's a woman's fart. 271 00:11:10,736 --> 00:11:11,536 Hi, Miss Wexler? 272 00:11:11,538 --> 00:11:12,570 Please, call me Ilana. 273 00:11:12,572 --> 00:11:14,205 Actually, call me Miss Wexler. 274 00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:15,006 That was dope. 275 00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:17,108 Okay, I was just wondering-- Before you finish, 276 00:11:17,110 --> 00:11:18,009 I want you to know 277 00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:21,513 that you already have the answers. 278 00:11:21,515 --> 00:11:25,850 Unlock the solutions deep within you. 279 00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:28,486 (vocalizing explosion) 280 00:11:28,988 --> 00:11:30,922 Now, get out of here. 281 00:11:30,924 --> 00:11:32,357 Oh, my God. 282 00:11:32,359 --> 00:11:33,058 Ilana. 283 00:11:33,060 --> 00:11:34,159 Please, call me Miss Wexler. 284 00:11:34,161 --> 00:11:36,394 Miss Wexler, I closed on that nail article. 285 00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:38,096 You made $400 in commission. 286 00:11:38,098 --> 00:11:39,097 Perfect. 287 00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:40,565 Now, go get another one. 288 00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:42,033 Holy (bleep) moly. 289 00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:46,705 Baby girl, you know we can make commission here? 290 00:11:50,009 --> 00:11:51,509 Love ya. 291 00:11:51,511 --> 00:11:53,978 My interns, gather. 292 00:11:54,313 --> 00:11:57,649 Okay, kids, when I started this day, 293 00:11:57,651 --> 00:11:58,650 I had one goal 294 00:11:58,652 --> 00:12:02,253 and that was to get a deal. 295 00:12:02,255 --> 00:12:04,055 But then I learned what commission is, 296 00:12:04,057 --> 00:12:08,426 and now my goal is money, money, money, bitch. 297 00:12:08,428 --> 00:12:11,763 Now, I'm gonna take lunch, but I need you guys to keep it 298 00:12:11,765 --> 00:12:13,631 on, on, on, on, on. 299 00:12:13,633 --> 00:12:16,267 Please don't leave the building so that you work and also 300 00:12:16,269 --> 00:12:19,437 I won't be able to sign you back in 'cause I won't be here. 301 00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:20,205 Okay. 302 00:12:20,207 --> 00:12:22,173 Your fly is down, yeah. 303 00:12:23,375 --> 00:12:24,776 (whistling) 304 00:12:25,644 --> 00:12:27,078 What a cool boss. 305 00:12:30,116 --> 00:12:32,817 Your transformation will inspire millions. 306 00:12:32,819 --> 00:12:35,453 Come on, Abbi, do it with him. 307 00:12:36,288 --> 00:12:39,557 Abbi, motivate him, tell him how ripped he's gonna be. 308 00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:40,358 So ripped. 309 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:41,192 Come on, be more specific. 310 00:12:41,194 --> 00:12:43,828 Paint a picture of how he's gonna look with words. 311 00:12:43,830 --> 00:12:47,999 Uh, muscly, like on the top and then skinny stomach. 312 00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:49,100 Drop that ball. 313 00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:50,435 All right, buddy. 314 00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:51,569 Come on, yes. 315 00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:53,037 All right, go protein up, all right? 316 00:12:53,039 --> 00:12:54,506 I'll come find you, if I can see you. 317 00:12:54,508 --> 00:12:55,907 You're really shrinking, buddy. 318 00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:57,909 bodybytrey.biz. Cut out. 319 00:12:57,911 --> 00:12:59,778 All right, Abbi, that was not great. 320 00:12:59,780 --> 00:13:02,080 Now, look, Matthew is very special, all right? 321 00:13:02,082 --> 00:13:05,183 When you're home with him, I want you to monitor his diet, 322 00:13:05,185 --> 00:13:06,785 his sleep, even his stool. 323 00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:10,255 I want you to be all over him, okay? 324 00:13:10,257 --> 00:13:13,792 If you can do that, there's no telling how far we can go. 325 00:13:15,060 --> 00:13:17,328 Oh, and, Abbi, could you clean up all this sweat. 326 00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:18,229 It's really stinky. 327 00:13:18,231 --> 00:13:20,265 It's actually my lunch break. 328 00:13:20,267 --> 00:13:20,865 Good call. 329 00:13:20,867 --> 00:13:22,734 It'll totally be here when you get back. 330 00:13:22,736 --> 00:13:25,136 But, Abbi, hashtag get clean. 331 00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:27,238 Your farts don't smell healthy. 332 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:29,774 It's not-- 333 00:13:39,585 --> 00:13:42,120 Hi. Hi, I'm here to meet my friend Ilana. 334 00:13:42,122 --> 00:13:44,422 Oh, yes, Miss Wexler. Yes. 335 00:13:44,424 --> 00:13:46,057 Right this way, sir. 336 00:13:46,059 --> 00:13:47,025 I'm not a sir. 337 00:13:47,027 --> 00:13:50,261 I wear a ponytail out one time. 338 00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:51,262 Whoo-hoo! 339 00:13:51,264 --> 00:13:52,697 What up, queen? 340 00:13:52,699 --> 00:13:53,565 Check it. 341 00:13:53,567 --> 00:13:57,202 I got a dirty-ass martini, a clean white power suit, 342 00:13:57,204 --> 00:14:01,139 originally 119, down to 69, down to 39. 343 00:14:01,141 --> 00:14:02,473 Thank you. 344 00:14:02,475 --> 00:14:02,941 TJ Maxx. 345 00:14:02,943 --> 00:14:06,511 Okay, Maxinista, I think you left the size tag on it. 346 00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:08,346 Whup, can't get it by ya. 347 00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:11,583 This, uh, Halliburton fat-cat lunch is on me. 348 00:14:11,585 --> 00:14:14,919 I made $400 today already. 349 00:14:14,921 --> 00:14:18,489 I hired an extremely diverse ethic smorgasbord 350 00:14:18,491 --> 00:14:20,191 of unpaid interns. 351 00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:22,327 Turns out I'm an effective leader. 352 00:14:22,329 --> 00:14:25,864 I'm happy that one of us is having a really good day, 353 00:14:25,866 --> 00:14:27,966 'cause, um... 354 00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:32,170 Bevers joined Soulstice today. 355 00:14:33,005 --> 00:14:35,607 Well, just-- just wait for this, 356 00:14:35,609 --> 00:14:39,477 'cause I'm helping Trey train him. 357 00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:43,014 You're getting to train someone? 358 00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:45,016 Yeah, but it's Bevers. 359 00:14:45,018 --> 00:14:45,450 So what? 360 00:14:45,452 --> 00:14:47,952 Rub some Purrell in your mustache so you don't smell him. 361 00:14:47,954 --> 00:14:49,053 Who cares? 362 00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:50,188 This is an opportunity. 363 00:14:50,190 --> 00:14:52,824 Grab the bull by the balls, dude. 364 00:14:52,826 --> 00:14:54,726 Guess you're right. It's just my day job. 365 00:14:54,728 --> 00:14:58,096 I'm gonna be like a successful artist any day now. 366 00:14:58,098 --> 00:14:58,763 Obviously. 367 00:14:58,765 --> 00:15:00,565 I could train the (bleep) out of Bevers. 368 00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:01,766 Hell, yes, you can. 369 00:15:01,768 --> 00:15:04,769 To us and the future. 370 00:15:05,604 --> 00:15:06,271 Oh. 371 00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:09,207 I just ruined a perfectly clean 372 00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:10,775 white power suit. 373 00:15:10,777 --> 00:15:14,379 I don't know if I would call it a white power suit, 374 00:15:14,381 --> 00:15:16,814 especially after you just, you know, talked about 375 00:15:16,816 --> 00:15:20,685 that ethnic smorgasbord of unpaid workers that you have. 376 00:15:20,687 --> 00:15:22,954 What did you just say? 377 00:15:22,956 --> 00:15:23,955 Explain what you mean? 378 00:15:23,957 --> 00:15:26,858 Well, white power, um... 379 00:15:27,226 --> 00:15:28,993 No, no, no-- Mom, it is a job, 380 00:15:28,995 --> 00:15:30,561 but I'm not making any money. 381 00:15:30,563 --> 00:15:32,764 ♪ Swing low ♪ 382 00:15:32,766 --> 00:15:36,668 ♪ Sweet chariot ♪ 383 00:15:37,236 --> 00:15:40,571 ♪ Coming forth to carry me home ♪ 384 00:15:40,573 --> 00:15:43,641 Ilana, one of your interns tried to leave so the other ones 385 00:15:43,643 --> 00:15:44,575 locked him in the conference room. 386 00:15:44,577 --> 00:15:47,779 I have a Skype with a haunted pizza tour company. 387 00:15:47,781 --> 00:15:50,415 I need that room like now. 388 00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:51,783 What have I become? 389 00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:55,219 I don't know, but I need the room. 390 00:15:55,221 --> 00:15:59,057 Goddam it! 391 00:15:59,059 --> 00:16:01,326 Bevers, come on, let's go! 392 00:16:01,328 --> 00:16:03,761 I'm gonna-- I'm gonna get to this right after. 393 00:16:03,763 --> 00:16:07,198 We gotta, we're gonna do some stretching. 394 00:16:09,034 --> 00:16:10,501 Yes. 395 00:16:12,204 --> 00:16:13,371 Yes. 396 00:16:13,373 --> 00:16:15,340 Abbi, I can't. 397 00:16:15,342 --> 00:16:17,041 Abbi! 398 00:16:18,110 --> 00:16:20,411 Yes, yes. 399 00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:21,579 (groaning) 400 00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:22,747 Beautiful. 401 00:16:22,749 --> 00:16:23,381 Here we go. 402 00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:25,917 Be your Soulstie self, Matthew. 403 00:16:25,919 --> 00:16:26,851 Yes, Abbi. Come on. 404 00:16:26,853 --> 00:16:30,254 (chanting) Meet and greet your potential 405 00:16:30,256 --> 00:16:33,524 Yeah, feel that fuel running through your veins! 406 00:16:33,526 --> 00:16:34,425 Nice! 407 00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:35,626 Yes, you can-- I know you can. 408 00:16:35,628 --> 00:16:36,894 You always quit too soon. 409 00:16:36,896 --> 00:16:38,629 Push him, Abbi. Come on, don't stop. 410 00:16:38,631 --> 00:16:39,831 Be the change! 411 00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:40,999 Feel it. 412 00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:42,300 You're running. 413 00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:43,301 You are running! 414 00:16:43,303 --> 00:16:45,136 You got it, yes! 415 00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:48,906 Bevers, oh, my God! 416 00:16:48,908 --> 00:16:50,308 Oh, Bevers. 417 00:16:51,343 --> 00:16:53,111 Go, get outta here, go. 418 00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:54,879 But, wait-- Why? Wait, why? 419 00:16:54,881 --> 00:16:57,648 Get out-- Be free-- I don't want you here. 420 00:16:57,650 --> 00:16:59,450 Go-- You must leave. 421 00:16:59,452 --> 00:17:00,785 You deserve paid work. 422 00:17:00,787 --> 00:17:02,186 I can't get paid work. 423 00:17:02,188 --> 00:17:04,856 I just graduated from Cornell with a business degree. 424 00:17:04,858 --> 00:17:05,857 That's the worst ivy. 425 00:17:05,859 --> 00:17:07,825 And I'm building my resume. 426 00:17:07,827 --> 00:17:09,927 My parents are finally proud of me. 427 00:17:09,929 --> 00:17:11,896 What, is this because we made-out earlier? 428 00:17:11,898 --> 00:17:12,997 You beautiful boy. 429 00:17:12,999 --> 00:17:13,564 Don't you see? 430 00:17:13,566 --> 00:17:18,369 I am Thomas Jefferson, and you are Stockholm Syndrome. 431 00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:19,670 Listen, I'll cut you each your checks. 432 00:17:19,672 --> 00:17:21,105 These are index cards. 433 00:17:21,107 --> 00:17:22,974 Future checks. IOU's. 434 00:17:22,976 --> 00:17:25,743 Obviously, I can't pay you until, um, 435 00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:27,678 I get paid, but fill 436 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:30,214 out these envelopes with your address, leave them in the 437 00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:34,952 mailbox, labeled "Nicole," and I promise you you will get 438 00:17:34,954 --> 00:17:35,920 your reparations. 439 00:17:35,922 --> 00:17:37,255 Taking to you, Aisha. 440 00:17:37,257 --> 00:17:38,256 Be free, go. 441 00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:40,591 Is this 'cause we made-out? 442 00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:43,127 I don't even know anymore, text me later. 443 00:17:43,129 --> 00:17:45,797 (man) Both ankles are sprained, and he's got a mild concussion. 444 00:17:45,799 --> 00:17:48,266 Make sure he doesn't fall asleep for at least eight hours. 445 00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:49,067 Keep him vertical. 446 00:17:49,069 --> 00:17:50,701 Just set him up on a couch. 447 00:17:50,703 --> 00:17:52,804 All right, thank you. 448 00:17:52,806 --> 00:17:54,505 Bevers, I'm so sorry. 449 00:17:54,507 --> 00:17:55,973 I really did not mean to hurt you. 450 00:17:55,975 --> 00:17:58,209 You were just trying to push me. 451 00:17:58,211 --> 00:17:59,844 Matthew, it's me, Trey. 452 00:17:59,846 --> 00:18:03,047 We're gonna your core until your ankles heal, okay? 453 00:18:03,049 --> 00:18:04,215 No, I'm not coming back. 454 00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:07,685 What? Matthew look how much healthier you are. 455 00:18:07,687 --> 00:18:08,953 Bevers, Bevers. 456 00:18:08,955 --> 00:18:12,824 To be honest, I'm really happy with the way I look. 457 00:18:12,826 --> 00:18:13,291 Ew! 458 00:18:13,293 --> 00:18:14,692 He's obviously severely concussed. 459 00:18:14,694 --> 00:18:15,793 Will you tell him he can't quit. 460 00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:17,795 Trey, just let him leave. 461 00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:21,232 You can't force someone to be something they're not. 462 00:18:23,836 --> 00:18:24,669 You're right. 463 00:18:24,671 --> 00:18:26,204 I push people too hard. 464 00:18:26,206 --> 00:18:27,371 I'm sorry, Matthew. 465 00:18:27,373 --> 00:18:28,940 I'm sorry I pushed you, too, Abbi. 466 00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:31,275 You're not a trainer, you're a cleaner. 467 00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:32,443 But I was so good. 468 00:18:32,445 --> 00:18:36,080 I was great even, right up until he fell. 469 00:18:36,082 --> 00:18:37,482 Stop. 470 00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:38,883 Stop. 471 00:18:38,885 --> 00:18:40,785 Good-bye, Matthew. 472 00:18:43,088 --> 00:18:46,023 (Bevers snoring) 473 00:18:46,025 --> 00:18:48,025 Bevers, Bevers. 474 00:18:48,027 --> 00:18:49,293 Can we go home now? 475 00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:51,362 Yeah, we're gonna go back to my apartment. 476 00:18:51,364 --> 00:18:52,363 Back to our home. 477 00:18:52,365 --> 00:18:54,765 We're gonna go to my-- my apartment. 478 00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:03,608 Well, looky, looky, who's playing hooky? 479 00:19:03,610 --> 00:19:04,742 You are, Todd. 480 00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:06,110 I was not hookying. 481 00:19:06,112 --> 00:19:08,379 Oh, really, Todd? 482 00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:10,181 I beg to differ. 483 00:19:10,183 --> 00:19:11,716 Are you filling out a contract? 484 00:19:11,718 --> 00:19:14,552 Yeah, I actually closed four deals today. 485 00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:16,621 I was a capitalist pig, 486 00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:19,056 rolling around in my own (bleep). 487 00:19:19,058 --> 00:19:21,192 That is great-- Thank you for listening to me. 488 00:19:21,194 --> 00:19:21,826 Great job. 489 00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:23,694 And your outfit is close to appropriate. 490 00:19:23,696 --> 00:19:25,263 Good job on that as well. 491 00:19:27,799 --> 00:19:29,767 Hey, Ilana? 492 00:19:29,769 --> 00:19:31,102 Who's Albert Nobbs? 493 00:19:31,104 --> 00:19:33,504 Oh, it's Glenn Close, pretending to be a woman, 494 00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,907 pretending to be a man. 495 00:19:35,909 --> 00:19:37,775 Yeah, that's accurate. 496 00:19:37,777 --> 00:19:40,011 I love Albert Nobbs. 497 00:19:40,013 --> 00:19:42,213 So hot. 498 00:19:46,285 --> 00:19:50,755 Dude, it's like it's hard enough to push a baby out through your 499 00:19:50,757 --> 00:19:54,025 vagine, but on top of that, I'm gonna defecate myself? 500 00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:57,662 I knew that you could (bleep) while you give birth, 501 00:19:57,664 --> 00:20:00,665 but then I-- I immediately repress it. 502 00:20:00,667 --> 00:20:03,668 I keep it like in the repression folder, you know? 503 00:20:03,670 --> 00:20:07,471 If it happened to me, you have my permission to look away. 504 00:20:07,473 --> 00:20:09,173 Thank you. You're welcome. 505 00:20:09,175 --> 00:20:11,142 I'm gonna see you give birth then? 506 00:20:11,144 --> 00:20:13,678 Bitch, dur, dur, dur, dur, dur. 507 00:20:13,680 --> 00:20:16,447 Who else would be my focal point? 508 00:20:16,449 --> 00:20:19,717 Also, I wanna do it in one of those birthing pools, 509 00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:24,088 and I feel like my apartment is just-- it's dirty, and there's 510 00:20:24,090 --> 00:20:25,056 a lot of traffic around it. 511 00:20:25,058 --> 00:20:27,925 I thought maybe I could do it here. 512 00:20:27,927 --> 00:20:29,293 In the living room. 513 00:20:29,295 --> 00:20:33,030 You know, don't-- don't push away the idea of doing it right 514 00:20:33,032 --> 00:20:34,031 in my bedroom, though. 515 00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:34,966 We can get my bed out. 516 00:20:34,968 --> 00:20:36,367 You know, I'll move all my stuff out. 517 00:20:36,369 --> 00:20:39,270 We'll just put your birthing pool, you know, in here. 518 00:20:39,272 --> 00:20:42,273 We'll bring it in. Thank you. 519 00:20:43,842 --> 00:20:45,676 You know, these are actually really, really good. 520 00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:49,013 I didn't think they would be. I know it scares me. 521 00:20:49,015 --> 00:20:52,149 Hey, eyes open, Bevers! 522 00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:53,784 (snoring) 523 00:20:53,786 --> 00:20:56,153 (Ilana) Eyes open. 524 00:20:58,557 --> 00:21:01,425 Abbi, it spilled! 525 00:21:10,168 --> 00:21:13,271 Hold on-- Hold the railing... 526 00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:14,538 Go-- Go, quick. 527 00:21:14,540 --> 00:21:15,873 I'm going. 528 00:21:15,875 --> 00:21:17,208 We got this. 529 00:21:17,210 --> 00:21:18,209 Got it? 530 00:21:18,211 --> 00:21:18,743 You got it? 531 00:21:18,745 --> 00:21:21,078 Why didn't we do this in the beginning? 532 00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:21,111 All right, no laughing.