1 00:00:31,068 --> 00:00:33,241 Dude, I have always wanted to do this -- 2 00:00:33,241 --> 00:00:34,896 "Heart and Soul" in Washington Square Park. 3 00:00:34,896 --> 00:00:36,689 Speaking of hearts and souls, 4 00:00:36,689 --> 00:00:38,827 you know the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory over there? 5 00:00:38,827 --> 00:00:41,344 Okay. 1911, 146 immigrants-- 6 00:00:41,344 --> 00:00:42,758 mostly women, of course -- 7 00:00:42,758 --> 00:00:44,793 were working in a factory inside. 8 00:00:44,793 --> 00:00:46,379 A fire began. 9 00:00:46,379 --> 00:00:48,517 They were trapped. They were locked in! 10 00:00:48,517 --> 00:00:50,689 If they weren't incinerated alive, 11 00:00:50,689 --> 00:00:54,551 they jumped out the windows, plummeting to their deaths. 12 00:00:54,551 --> 00:00:56,586 Sucks. 13 00:00:56,586 --> 00:00:58,551 Okay, cool. What's next on the list? 14 00:00:58,551 --> 00:01:01,655 Whoo! Yeah. 15 00:01:01,655 --> 00:01:04,758 Where to next? Let's go! 16 00:01:04,758 --> 00:01:06,758 Cool. 17 00:01:11,310 --> 00:01:13,137 What an exquisite park. 18 00:01:13,137 --> 00:01:15,241 It really is. 19 00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:17,103 Made only more exquisite if the Central Park 5 20 00:01:17,103 --> 00:01:19,655 hadn't been wrongfully accused of rape and thrown in jail 21 00:01:19,655 --> 00:01:21,551 for their entire young adult lives, 22 00:01:21,551 --> 00:01:24,379 for no other reason than being black and brown boys. 23 00:01:24,379 --> 00:01:28,206 Ugh, the '80s, when wrongful conviction was still a novelty. 24 00:01:28,206 --> 00:01:31,103 L.O. fully L! 25 00:01:31,103 --> 00:01:33,103 Come on. 26 00:01:33,103 --> 00:01:34,862 Okay. Yikes. 27 00:01:34,862 --> 00:01:36,482 Well, well, well. 28 00:01:36,482 --> 00:01:38,586 14 West 10th Street. 29 00:01:38,586 --> 00:01:40,965 Oh, my God, dude. Mark Twain lived here! 30 00:01:40,965 --> 00:01:44,482 I've read, um, like, a bunch of his stuff. 31 00:01:44,482 --> 00:01:45,827 -Hmm. -It's an historic landmark. 32 00:01:45,827 --> 00:01:47,793 It's also known as the "House of Horrors" 33 00:01:47,793 --> 00:01:50,551 'cause in 1987, this lawyer Joel Steinberg 34 00:01:50,551 --> 00:01:51,827 and his girlfriend, Hedda Nussbaum, 35 00:01:51,827 --> 00:01:55,137 adopted a girl and beat her into a coma 36 00:01:55,137 --> 00:01:59,000 and blamed it on freebasing too much coke. Yeah, right. 37 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:02,172 And get this -- They both roam free today! 38 00:02:02,172 --> 00:02:05,034 Steinberg lives in Harlem, with a garden! 39 00:02:05,034 --> 00:02:08,206 -A garden! The fucking nerve! 40 00:02:08,206 --> 00:02:10,862 ♪ New York, New York, it's a helluva town ♪ 41 00:02:10,862 --> 00:02:12,206 Right? 42 00:02:12,206 --> 00:02:14,448 C'mon, we got a ferry to catch. 43 00:02:20,206 --> 00:02:22,793 Abbi: Man, I'm really gonna miss that skyline. 44 00:02:22,793 --> 00:02:24,896 Takes my breath away, you know? 45 00:02:24,896 --> 00:02:26,827 It's nuts that the whole damn thing 46 00:02:26,827 --> 00:02:30,137 is really just one giant burial ground. 47 00:02:30,137 --> 00:02:33,034 It's like beauty-beauty-beauty, bodies-bodies-bodies! 48 00:02:33,034 --> 00:02:34,482 Yeah. 49 00:02:34,482 --> 00:02:38,034 Swindled from the Native Americans for just $24. 50 00:02:38,034 --> 00:02:39,344 Same price as this breakfast. 51 00:02:39,344 --> 00:02:40,724 Oof! 52 00:02:40,724 --> 00:02:42,379 -Only in New York! -Only in New York! 53 00:02:42,379 --> 00:02:44,827 ♪ Four and three and two and one ♪ 54 00:02:54,103 --> 00:02:55,344 -Hey! -Hey! 55 00:03:00,379 --> 00:03:02,068 Yeah, so, this is nuts, right? 56 00:03:02,068 --> 00:03:05,689 I mean, it's finally starting to sink in. 57 00:03:08,275 --> 00:03:09,448 One week left, dude. 58 00:03:09,448 --> 00:03:12,275 Yeah. One week left. 59 00:03:12,275 --> 00:03:15,034 Wow. 60 00:03:15,034 --> 00:03:16,965 God, Ilana, your nose is bleeding, dude! 61 00:03:16,965 --> 00:03:18,827 Oh, my God. I didn't even feel it. 62 00:03:18,827 --> 00:03:20,379 -Are you okay? -Whoo! 63 00:03:20,379 --> 00:03:21,862 Oh, yeah. No, I'm fine. I'm good. 64 00:03:21,862 --> 00:03:23,068 -You sure? -Yeah, yeah. 65 00:03:23,068 --> 00:03:25,689 Okay, let's sell. Your. Shit! 66 00:03:25,689 --> 00:03:27,758 It's not like a dorm-dorm, it's a like a building 67 00:03:27,758 --> 00:03:31,103 for grad students and... Artists in Residence. 68 00:03:31,103 --> 00:03:32,206 -Take a break? -Yeah. 69 00:03:32,206 --> 00:03:34,206 -Legs. -Legs, legs, legs! 70 00:03:34,206 --> 00:03:36,206 Legs, aah. 71 00:03:36,206 --> 00:03:38,758 Okay. Since we only have one week left, 72 00:03:38,758 --> 00:03:41,689 I have planned a surprise! 73 00:03:41,689 --> 00:03:44,413 Okay, please tell me it's not tickets to the musical 74 00:03:44,413 --> 00:03:45,551 about Jimmy Fallon's childhood! 75 00:03:45,551 --> 00:03:47,103 "Born to Giggle?" 76 00:03:47,103 --> 00:03:48,689 No, Ilana. 77 00:03:48,689 --> 00:03:52,758 We are going to see... 78 00:03:52,758 --> 00:03:54,000 Lil Wayne. 79 00:03:58,413 --> 00:04:01,137 Yasssss! 80 00:04:01,137 --> 00:04:02,793 Oh, my God! 81 00:04:02,793 --> 00:04:05,413 What a sweet, goddess-like gesture. 82 00:04:05,413 --> 00:04:07,586 Thank you, girl! 83 00:04:07,586 --> 00:04:09,344 You been taking supplements? 84 00:04:09,344 --> 00:04:10,724 No, why do you ask? 85 00:04:10,724 --> 00:04:12,655 So, Ilana, one more thing. 86 00:04:12,655 --> 00:04:15,793 This is big and kinda scary but so fun. 87 00:04:15,793 --> 00:04:18,517 Okay, so, I'm bring a friend with us tonight. 88 00:04:18,517 --> 00:04:22,517 And her name is... Molly. 89 00:04:22,517 --> 00:04:24,793 -Okay, break? -Okay. 90 00:04:24,793 --> 00:04:26,344 -Legs, legs. -Legs, legs, legs. 91 00:04:26,344 --> 00:04:29,862 I just have been under the impression 92 00:04:29,862 --> 00:04:31,827 that we were gonna wait until we were in separate states 93 00:04:31,827 --> 00:04:33,172 to make new friends. 94 00:04:33,172 --> 00:04:35,689 No, dude -- Molly, like MDMA. 95 00:04:35,689 --> 00:04:37,413 Who are you, Molly dang Cyrus? 96 00:04:37,413 --> 00:04:39,034 -I've never done Molly! -No, I know, 97 00:04:39,034 --> 00:04:41,517 and I've only done it the one time where I stole the van. 98 00:04:41,517 --> 00:04:45,344 One week before you move 1,972 miles away, 99 00:04:45,344 --> 00:04:46,965 I finally get to meet Perfect Abbi. 100 00:04:48,137 --> 00:04:49,724 You must've looked that up, huh? 101 00:04:51,413 --> 00:04:52,965 -Legs. Legs. -Oh, legs. 102 00:04:52,965 --> 00:04:54,172 Legs. 103 00:04:57,793 --> 00:04:59,586 -Got it? Right over there. -Yeah. 104 00:04:59,586 --> 00:05:01,068 Wait, cool. 105 00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:02,379 -Legs. Legs. -Legs. 106 00:05:02,379 --> 00:05:03,758 -Legs! -Legs! 107 00:05:03,758 --> 00:05:06,103 Damn, we carried that, yes! 108 00:05:06,103 --> 00:05:07,724 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 109 00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:10,137 That's not trash! You can't take it! 110 00:05:10,137 --> 00:05:12,551 I will not be bullied! 111 00:05:12,551 --> 00:05:14,241 It's Trash Day. 112 00:05:14,241 --> 00:05:16,379 Can you believe he thought this was trash? 113 00:05:16,379 --> 00:05:17,551 What? 114 00:05:20,758 --> 00:05:23,862 Okay, the tickets for tonight were a little bit expensey, 115 00:05:23,862 --> 00:05:26,413 -so we gotta sell. Yeah. -Yes. 116 00:05:26,413 --> 00:05:27,896 Well, this couch is gonna be an easy sell. 117 00:05:27,896 --> 00:05:30,482 Look at her. But, dahm, Danielle, 118 00:05:30,482 --> 00:05:32,896 we have some freaking memories on this thing. 119 00:05:32,896 --> 00:05:34,413 Yeah. 120 00:05:34,413 --> 00:05:36,137 First time we split those two whole pizzas. 121 00:05:36,137 --> 00:05:38,068 Oh, my God. And the hurricane! 122 00:05:38,068 --> 00:05:40,827 That time I made out with Bevers...ly. 123 00:05:40,827 --> 00:05:42,206 -What? -Beversly. 124 00:05:42,206 --> 00:05:44,034 Do you know Beversly? Ohh, she's, like, weird 125 00:05:44,034 --> 00:05:46,517 and, like, quirky, and, um, queer and fluid, 126 00:05:46,517 --> 00:05:48,000 and, um, you know, just like, mixed race, 127 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:49,724 and, um, I saw her on the street, 128 00:05:49,724 --> 00:05:51,482 and I brought her back up and made out with her on the couch. 129 00:05:51,482 --> 00:05:53,413 -Beversly. Hmm. -Well -- 130 00:05:53,413 --> 00:05:56,689 Um, I know that we just, um, carried the couch 131 00:05:56,689 --> 00:05:58,310 -down three flights of stairs. -Yeah? 132 00:05:58,310 --> 00:06:01,655 But, um, I kinda wanna keep it 133 00:06:01,655 --> 00:06:03,724 now that we're looking at it and talking about it. 134 00:06:03,724 --> 00:06:05,310 Ilana, you should keep it, dude. 135 00:06:05,310 --> 00:06:07,655 -That would make mefeel better. -It would help. 136 00:06:07,655 --> 00:06:09,379 Okay. So, we'll just leave it here for now, 137 00:06:09,379 --> 00:06:11,034 and we'll figure out how to get it back to your place 138 00:06:11,034 --> 00:06:12,275 before the concert. 139 00:06:12,275 --> 00:06:14,448 That'll be a problem for "later us." 140 00:06:14,448 --> 00:06:16,517 Yeah, "they'll" figure it out. 141 00:06:20,310 --> 00:06:24,551 Sir, this is pre-fall 2010 CB2 142 00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:27,862 Resort collection? 143 00:06:27,862 --> 00:06:29,310 Have a nice day. 144 00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:37,793 Damn, you are seriously good at this! 145 00:06:37,793 --> 00:06:39,379 We were just, uh, 146 00:06:39,379 --> 00:06:42,000 carrying the couch down three flights of stairs. 147 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:44,448 And I was thinking, imagine if these cushions could talk. 148 00:06:44,448 --> 00:06:47,724 They would talk about, uh, lost coins 149 00:06:47,724 --> 00:06:50,793 or, um, hot farts, 150 00:06:50,793 --> 00:06:54,655 or people who've unexpectedly made out 151 00:06:54,655 --> 00:06:56,724 after one of them opened up his relationship. 152 00:06:56,724 --> 00:06:59,413 I thought we weren't supposed to talk about that. 153 00:07:00,551 --> 00:07:02,206 -Shh! 154 00:07:02,206 --> 00:07:04,448 -Shut up! Shut up! -Shut up! Shut up about that! 155 00:07:04,448 --> 00:07:06,310 Shh! 156 00:07:06,310 --> 00:07:07,827 Nobody know dat! 157 00:07:07,827 --> 00:07:10,758 Hey, hey, hey. What are you guys giggling about? 158 00:07:10,758 --> 00:07:13,172 -Nothing. -Nothing! 159 00:07:13,172 --> 00:07:14,620 -No. -What? 160 00:07:14,620 --> 00:07:16,482 No! The couch! 161 00:07:16,482 --> 00:07:18,344 No-o-o-o! 162 00:07:22,862 --> 00:07:24,620 Shit! What do I do? 163 00:07:24,620 --> 00:07:26,310 I know a cut-through! Come on. 164 00:07:29,793 --> 00:07:31,620 Yes. 165 00:07:34,689 --> 00:07:37,137 Aah! 166 00:07:37,137 --> 00:07:38,413 Come on. 167 00:07:42,103 --> 00:07:44,275 Got it. We got it. 168 00:07:44,275 --> 00:07:46,310 Gotta go. Yeah? 169 00:07:53,551 --> 00:07:55,275 What the fuck are we doing? 170 00:07:55,275 --> 00:07:56,344 I have no idea, dude! 171 00:07:56,344 --> 00:07:57,620 Okay, dude. What about this, um, 172 00:07:57,620 --> 00:07:59,931 scooper, compressor, crusher thing? 173 00:07:59,931 --> 00:08:01,862 -The couch is gonna be killed! -No, no. 174 00:08:01,862 --> 00:08:04,344 The compactor only works when the truck is static. 175 00:08:04,344 --> 00:08:06,137 The dudes'll have to come out to grab cans, 176 00:08:06,137 --> 00:08:07,586 and we'll contact with them then! 177 00:08:07,586 --> 00:08:10,517 Are you, like, "in your element" up here? 178 00:08:10,517 --> 00:08:13,862 There was a moment in time where trash was very comforting to me. 179 00:08:13,862 --> 00:08:15,793 Well, I'm glad you're comfortable. 180 00:08:15,793 --> 00:08:17,482 We'll just wait here until it stops, 181 00:08:17,482 --> 00:08:20,241 and then we are on our way to see Lil Wayne! 182 00:08:20,241 --> 00:08:21,482 Whoo! 183 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,517 Okay, it should stop soon, right? 184 00:08:26,517 --> 00:08:27,965 That's what garbage trucks do, 185 00:08:27,965 --> 00:08:29,482 They stop every half a block and hold up traffic, 186 00:08:29,482 --> 00:08:31,206 and then you're stuck in a cab on 10th street, 187 00:08:31,206 --> 00:08:33,689 you end up peeing in a Slurpee cup and paying double the fare. 188 00:08:35,689 --> 00:08:37,931 Some-- Sometimes. Some people do. 189 00:08:37,931 --> 00:08:40,517 Actually, the stops are totally dependent on districts. 190 00:08:40,517 --> 00:08:41,931 It's all zoned out by zip codes. 191 00:08:41,931 --> 00:08:43,862 It's like -- It's pretty organized. 192 00:08:43,862 --> 00:08:46,172 -It's pretty awesome. -Are you a Garbage Pail Kid? 193 00:08:46,172 --> 00:08:47,827 -Tell me. -Or -- Or I'm not sure. 194 00:08:47,827 --> 00:08:48,965 I'm not sure. 195 00:08:52,413 --> 00:08:53,551 Wait, hold on. 196 00:08:53,551 --> 00:08:55,241 What? 197 00:08:55,241 --> 00:08:57,172 That is insane. What do you mean, 198 00:08:57,172 --> 00:09:00,000 Corn Flakes were meant to curb masturbation? 199 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:03,034 I mean exactly what I said, Ms. Abrams. 200 00:09:03,034 --> 00:09:05,931 Dr. Kellogg's of the Kellogg's Cereal Empire 201 00:09:05,931 --> 00:09:09,586 was a bizarre white man who was aggressively anti-sex 202 00:09:09,586 --> 00:09:12,275 and feared that bold flavors would make people horny. 203 00:09:12,275 --> 00:09:15,172 So he invented Corn Flakes to stop people from getting it on. 204 00:09:15,172 --> 00:09:17,206 I always wanted Frosted Mini-Wheats, so I steered clear. 205 00:09:17,206 --> 00:09:20,137 Ding ding, dawg -- That's fucking Kellogg's! 206 00:09:20,137 --> 00:09:22,724 Huh. 207 00:09:22,724 --> 00:09:24,068 Oh, my God. The truck stopped! 208 00:09:24,068 --> 00:09:26,137 I literally forgot we were on it. 209 00:09:26,137 --> 00:09:28,000 Go, go, go. 210 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,241 We'll get it out really quick. 211 00:09:29,241 --> 00:09:30,482 Come on. 212 00:09:30,482 --> 00:09:33,137 Ugh, this is too heavy. 213 00:09:33,137 --> 00:09:35,137 The fuck do you think you're doing? 214 00:09:35,137 --> 00:09:37,000 -Nothing. -Nothing. 215 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:38,551 Hello, gentlemen. 216 00:09:38,551 --> 00:09:40,137 -Um -- -This is actually my couch. 217 00:09:40,137 --> 00:09:42,931 And we are just taking it -- taking it back. 218 00:09:42,931 --> 00:09:45,655 Once we collect the trash, it's city property. 219 00:09:45,655 --> 00:09:48,241 But, um, 220 00:09:48,241 --> 00:09:50,517 it's just that, um, 221 00:09:50,517 --> 00:09:52,689 I just wanted to keep it. 222 00:09:52,689 --> 00:09:55,206 'Cause, uh, Abbi's moving next week 223 00:09:55,206 --> 00:09:58,241 and we're best friends! 224 00:09:58,241 --> 00:09:59,655 -She's mine! -Oh, my God. Ilana. 225 00:09:59,655 --> 00:10:01,206 Oh, my God. Your nose again, dude. 226 00:10:01,206 --> 00:10:03,517 -You okay? -What is this, dude? 227 00:10:03,517 --> 00:10:05,482 What is this? 228 00:10:05,482 --> 00:10:08,344 I don't know what I'd do if Ike moved away. 229 00:10:08,344 --> 00:10:11,206 We've been on this route together for 15 years. 230 00:10:11,206 --> 00:10:14,827 15 years of wives and kids and Little League games. 231 00:10:14,827 --> 00:10:17,896 Mistresses, union scabs. 232 00:10:17,896 --> 00:10:19,689 Gettin' made. 233 00:10:22,586 --> 00:10:24,344 -Come on, Abe. -All right, you know what? 234 00:10:24,344 --> 00:10:25,551 -Take the couch. -Really? 235 00:10:25,551 --> 00:10:26,965 -Yeah, take the couch! -Guys! 236 00:10:26,965 --> 00:10:28,034 Oh, my God! 237 00:10:28,034 --> 00:10:29,482 Thank you so much. 238 00:10:29,482 --> 00:10:31,241 You are so sweet! 239 00:10:31,241 --> 00:10:32,517 -Wow. -Yeah. 240 00:10:32,517 --> 00:10:33,586 -Incredible strength. -Wow. 241 00:10:33,586 --> 00:10:35,000 Thank you guys so much. 242 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:36,551 -Saved our lives. -All right. Bye, ladies. 243 00:10:36,551 --> 00:10:38,034 -Bye, ladies. -Bye, ladies. 244 00:10:39,724 --> 00:10:43,586 Oh, my God. Ilana, fuck, dude, the concert starts so soon! 245 00:10:43,586 --> 00:10:45,862 What are we gonna do? 246 00:10:45,862 --> 00:10:49,068 I would've loved to rinse off before we went to the show, 247 00:10:49,068 --> 00:10:54,000 but I know that Wayne likes a stinky pussy. 248 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,758 Yeah. Uh, that -- It's -- That's great. 249 00:10:56,758 --> 00:10:58,586 -You mean, the couch. -I meant for the couch. 250 00:10:58,586 --> 00:11:01,206 Oh, I have no fucking idea. 251 00:11:01,206 --> 00:11:03,241 Okay. Okay. 252 00:11:03,241 --> 00:11:05,068 I mean, 253 00:11:05,068 --> 00:11:09,448 is there a world... 254 00:11:09,448 --> 00:11:12,931 in which... 255 00:11:12,931 --> 00:11:17,379 we take the sofa... 256 00:11:17,379 --> 00:11:19,206 to... 257 00:11:19,206 --> 00:11:22,551 the concert? 258 00:11:33,206 --> 00:11:36,241 ♪ Every day and night ♪ 259 00:11:36,241 --> 00:11:39,206 ♪ Every day and night ♪ 260 00:11:39,206 --> 00:11:41,965 ♪ I can see your disco disco ♪ 261 00:11:41,965 --> 00:11:44,965 ♪ Is sucking my heart outta my mind ♪ 262 00:11:44,965 --> 00:11:47,448 ♪ I'm outta time, I'm outta -- time ♪ 263 00:11:47,448 --> 00:11:51,137 ♪ I'm a gasoline gut with a Vaseline mind, but ♪ 264 00:11:51,137 --> 00:11:54,137 ♪ Wanna disco? Wanna see me disco? ♪ 265 00:11:54,137 --> 00:11:57,206 ♪ Let me hear you depoliticize my rhyme ♪ 266 00:11:57,206 --> 00:11:59,793 ♪ One, two, three, four ♪ 267 00:11:59,793 --> 00:12:02,275 ♪ You got what you been asking for ♪ 268 00:12:02,275 --> 00:12:05,448 ♪ You're so policy free and your fantasy wheels ♪ 269 00:12:05,448 --> 00:12:08,241 ♪ And everything you think and everything you feel ♪ 270 00:12:08,241 --> 00:12:14,793 ♪ Is alright, alright, alright, alright, alright ♪ 271 00:12:22,655 --> 00:12:25,206 Okay. 272 00:12:25,206 --> 00:12:26,965 Back. Get around this. 273 00:12:26,965 --> 00:12:28,965 Okay, legs, legs, legs, legs, legs! 274 00:12:31,965 --> 00:12:34,068 -Damn. -Okay. So we'll just, like, 275 00:12:34,068 --> 00:12:36,517 leave it here, go to the show, and bring it home after? 276 00:12:36,517 --> 00:12:38,206 No. I know what to do. 277 00:12:53,862 --> 00:12:56,034 Okay, my friend. 278 00:12:56,034 --> 00:12:58,931 Meet my other 279 00:12:58,931 --> 00:13:00,896 whacky little friend, Molly. 280 00:13:00,896 --> 00:13:02,793 It's really nice to meet you, Molly. 281 00:13:02,793 --> 00:13:04,655 I've heard a lot about ya. 282 00:13:04,655 --> 00:13:06,137 Here we go. 283 00:13:06,137 --> 00:13:07,758 Whatever this is gonna be. 284 00:13:12,241 --> 00:13:14,034 Whoo! 285 00:13:15,758 --> 00:13:18,620 How's it going? 286 00:13:23,034 --> 00:13:24,724 These are invalid. You girls gotta move along. 287 00:13:24,724 --> 00:13:26,689 Wait, wait, wait. Are -- I got them on Craigslist. 288 00:13:26,689 --> 00:13:29,620 So just, like --Did you just say Craigslist? 289 00:13:29,620 --> 00:13:31,344 Girls ain't never heard of StubHub? 290 00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:33,034 These are for sure fake. 291 00:13:33,034 --> 00:13:34,379 Get out of my line. 292 00:13:34,379 --> 00:13:36,379 Go. 293 00:13:36,379 --> 00:13:38,620 And how old are y'all anyway? 294 00:13:38,620 --> 00:13:41,724 I can't tell, 'cause the outfits aren't matching the faces. 295 00:13:41,724 --> 00:13:42,965 Next? 296 00:13:45,586 --> 00:13:48,379 I'm sorry, dude. I'm a fucking idiot. 297 00:13:48,379 --> 00:13:50,965 No, you are not. Craigslist is the most legitimate business, 298 00:13:50,965 --> 00:13:52,517 okay? The last time we used it, 299 00:13:52,517 --> 00:13:54,862 we cleaned that dude's apartment in our underwear. 300 00:13:57,172 --> 00:13:58,620 I see. 301 00:14:00,482 --> 00:14:01,689 Okay, okay, okay. 302 00:14:01,689 --> 00:14:04,896 I bet -- No, I know 303 00:14:04,896 --> 00:14:07,448 that we can find some silly-ass way in here. 304 00:14:07,448 --> 00:14:08,896 Okay. 305 00:14:08,896 --> 00:14:12,586 Okay, we gotta do this before the Molly kicks in. 306 00:14:12,586 --> 00:14:14,068 Yeah. 307 00:14:16,034 --> 00:14:17,896 God, I'm feeling something, you know? 308 00:14:17,896 --> 00:14:20,206 It is upon us. 309 00:14:25,034 --> 00:14:26,655 Abbi! Come. Now. Come. 310 00:14:26,655 --> 00:14:28,827 -What? What? -♪ Look at the vent ♪ 311 00:14:28,827 --> 00:14:30,551 Okay. We get up there. If we can, 312 00:14:30,551 --> 00:14:32,517 we crawl inside. We sneak inside the venue. We're done. 313 00:14:32,517 --> 00:14:34,758 Oh, my God. Dude. I have a Swiss Army knife. 314 00:14:34,758 --> 00:14:36,172 It can unscrew the screws! 315 00:14:36,172 --> 00:14:38,344 Okay. I know exactly how we get up there. 316 00:14:38,344 --> 00:14:40,827 You get on my shoulders. You do the thing. 317 00:14:40,827 --> 00:14:43,586 You pry it open. You crawl inside. 318 00:14:43,586 --> 00:14:46,103 Oh, my gosh. Once I'm inside, I'll, like, take my clothes off, 319 00:14:46,103 --> 00:14:49,034 and I'll, like, tie 'em all in a rope, okay, in a knot. 320 00:14:49,034 --> 00:14:50,586 And I'll pull you up. 321 00:14:50,586 --> 00:14:52,482 I'm actually getting hot anyway, so this works out. 322 00:14:52,482 --> 00:14:55,206 Yas, bitch! This is fully happening! 323 00:14:55,206 --> 00:14:57,413 -We are such a team. -Incredible. 324 00:14:57,413 --> 00:14:58,862 -All right, so -- -Maybe like that, okay? 325 00:14:58,862 --> 00:15:00,655 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, put one arm. 326 00:15:00,655 --> 00:15:02,310 You know, what if we, like, use the wall -- 327 00:15:02,310 --> 00:15:04,137 Yeah, yeah, yeah. If my back pushes up against the wall -- 328 00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:05,655 -Against the wall. -Yeah, yeah. 329 00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:07,206 -And then we'll go -- -Yeah, right this way. 330 00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:09,965 -Ladders! -Ladders! 331 00:15:09,965 --> 00:15:12,103 Abbi, this is so beautiful! 332 00:15:12,103 --> 00:15:13,413 Dude, you ever think about 333 00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:15,448 how many lil's there are besides Wayne? 334 00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:17,724 Lil' Kim, Lil' Yachty, Lil' Dicky, Lil' Dookie, 335 00:15:17,724 --> 00:15:21,275 Lil' Rel, Lil' Deval, Lil' Papa, Lil' Mama, Lil' Uzi Vert -- 336 00:15:21,275 --> 00:15:24,862 Wait, wait, wait. Vert, like a -- Like a string bean? 337 00:15:24,862 --> 00:15:26,379 Like a -- the legume? 338 00:15:26,379 --> 00:15:28,896 No, no, no. That's... Haricot Vert. 339 00:15:28,896 --> 00:15:30,310 Oh, my God. If I was a rapper, 340 00:15:30,310 --> 00:15:33,413 my name would be Les Petites Haricot Vert. 341 00:15:33,413 --> 00:15:35,482 Oh, my God! I'd be Lil' Webding! 342 00:15:35,482 --> 00:15:38,310 Oh, my God. I'd be -- I'd be Lil' -- Lil Two-ply. 343 00:15:38,310 --> 00:15:39,655 -Lil' Clit Stem. -Oh, my God. 344 00:15:39,655 --> 00:15:42,310 I'd be Lil' Nap Time? 345 00:15:42,310 --> 00:15:43,551 Lil' Mammogram to advertise the importance 346 00:15:43,551 --> 00:15:44,724 -of getting mammograms. -Oh! 347 00:15:44,724 --> 00:15:45,965 Okay, dude, should we go down here? 348 00:15:45,965 --> 00:15:47,137 Oh, yeah, yeah. Maybe let's try. 349 00:15:59,931 --> 00:16:01,689 Oh, my God. Dude. 350 00:16:01,689 --> 00:16:03,275 The "litter" stayed light! 351 00:16:05,344 --> 00:16:06,655 The litter stayed light. 352 00:16:06,655 --> 00:16:08,000 Oh, my God. 353 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,172 Oh, my God. Whispering is so dope. 354 00:16:10,172 --> 00:16:11,758 -I forgot. -Yes. 355 00:16:13,137 --> 00:16:15,655 Oh, my God. Do you hear him? 356 00:16:15,655 --> 00:16:18,034 I forgot we were at a Lil Wayne concert! 357 00:16:18,034 --> 00:16:20,379 Me, too! Oh, my goodness. 358 00:16:20,379 --> 00:16:22,379 But, like, 359 00:16:22,379 --> 00:16:24,172 he -- he sounds different, right? 360 00:16:24,172 --> 00:16:26,206 Yeah. Yeah, it's like, I love 361 00:16:26,206 --> 00:16:28,965 how I don't necessarily love it, you know what I mean? 362 00:16:28,965 --> 00:16:31,551 But I'm an unconditional ride-or-die for him, 363 00:16:31,551 --> 00:16:33,655 and I'm grateful for what we went through to get here! 364 00:16:33,655 --> 00:16:35,517 Me, too. Me, too. 365 00:16:35,517 --> 00:16:37,482 Oh, my God. Dude. Oh, my goodness. 366 00:16:37,482 --> 00:16:40,517 -No! What?! Please! -I have such a good idea. 367 00:16:40,517 --> 00:16:43,172 Dude, gotta try to reposition. 368 00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:48,000 -Okay. -Yeah, okay. 369 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:49,620 It's sounds -- It's sounds like we're, like, 370 00:16:49,620 --> 00:16:51,551 right above the audience, right?Right. 371 00:16:51,551 --> 00:16:54,241 -Okay. What if we dropped down? -No. 372 00:16:54,241 --> 00:16:56,655 Dude, what if we dropped down? There's gotta be, like, a door down. 373 00:16:56,655 --> 00:16:58,517 We drop down onto the audience. 374 00:16:58,517 --> 00:17:00,931 -Dude, or -- -Break some skulls, dude! 375 00:17:00,931 --> 00:17:03,275 Or the stage. 376 00:17:03,275 --> 00:17:04,758 Like, we drop down onto the stage, 377 00:17:04,758 --> 00:17:06,724 and we're, like, part of it. 378 00:17:06,724 --> 00:17:07,896 Okay, yes. 379 00:17:07,896 --> 00:17:09,448 -Right. -Fully fucking yes. 380 00:17:09,448 --> 00:17:11,103 -Yeah. -Or... 381 00:17:11,103 --> 00:17:13,586 we could go back 382 00:17:13,586 --> 00:17:16,413 to the alley that we were hanging at, 383 00:17:16,413 --> 00:17:18,103 and just not be inside a vent? 384 00:17:18,103 --> 00:17:19,344 Yeah. Yeah. 385 00:17:21,344 --> 00:17:23,586 We got our own Lil' Weezy concert 386 00:17:23,586 --> 00:17:27,551 right...here. 387 00:17:27,551 --> 00:17:29,448 Yes, dude! 388 00:17:34,896 --> 00:17:36,344 Dude, can I tell you something? 389 00:17:36,344 --> 00:17:39,758 Anything. You can tell me anything, dude. 390 00:17:39,758 --> 00:17:42,068 I don't know if I know who I am without you. 391 00:17:42,068 --> 00:17:43,931 I don't have the same sense of self I thought I did. 392 00:17:43,931 --> 00:17:45,758 Dude, I am terrified. 393 00:17:45,758 --> 00:17:49,137 I'm like, "Do I even, like, know how to make new friends?" 394 00:17:49,137 --> 00:17:52,206 I'm like do I like people, even? I don't even know, you know? 395 00:17:52,206 --> 00:17:54,620 Well, see, that's my damn problem, dawg. 396 00:17:54,620 --> 00:17:57,827 I worry in retrospect that I've been co-opting your time 397 00:17:57,827 --> 00:17:59,068 and keeping you from growing, 398 00:17:59,068 --> 00:18:00,965 -you know what I mean? -No, dude. 399 00:18:00,965 --> 00:18:03,275 I feel like I've been relying on you for like, my confidence. 400 00:18:03,275 --> 00:18:05,448 Like, I didn't even know my ass was dope 401 00:18:05,448 --> 00:18:07,517 until you taught me it was. It's like, 402 00:18:07,517 --> 00:18:10,034 you don't just, like, keep bringing people fish, you know? 403 00:18:10,034 --> 00:18:11,517 You teach them how to use their ass. 404 00:18:11,517 --> 00:18:13,034 And then they never go hungry, 405 00:18:13,034 --> 00:18:14,448 you know what I mean? They never go hungry. 406 00:18:14,448 --> 00:18:16,586 Oof, dat...ass, though. 407 00:18:16,586 --> 00:18:18,344 Damn, girl! 408 00:18:18,344 --> 00:18:20,137 Shit, bitch! You know, like, 409 00:18:20,137 --> 00:18:22,586 I need to make, like, meaning of my own, 410 00:18:22,586 --> 00:18:24,413 you know, as an individual, rather than peg -- 411 00:18:24,413 --> 00:18:26,275 -LOL -- Remember Jeremy? -Yes! 412 00:18:26,275 --> 00:18:28,103 Everything on the entity that is us. 413 00:18:28,103 --> 00:18:31,137 I wanna be, like, in a relationship like we have, 414 00:18:31,137 --> 00:18:32,448 but someone who I have sex with, you know, 415 00:18:32,448 --> 00:18:34,517 and, like, I cuddle with and shit. 416 00:18:34,517 --> 00:18:36,827 Tell me about it! You know, I realize now 417 00:18:36,827 --> 00:18:38,931 that I didn't give Lincoln really a full, true, 418 00:18:38,931 --> 00:18:42,103 and real shot 'cause I always made you my priority. 419 00:18:42,103 --> 00:18:43,965 And you know what? Now that I think about it, 420 00:18:43,965 --> 00:18:45,413 these nosebleeds that I keep getting, 421 00:18:45,413 --> 00:18:46,931 it's every time I think of us apart, 422 00:18:46,931 --> 00:18:48,862 so it's really like a psychosomatic response 423 00:18:48,862 --> 00:18:50,586 to our crippling co-dependency. 424 00:18:52,586 --> 00:18:53,758 I mean, maybe. I don't know. 425 00:18:53,758 --> 00:18:56,517 Dude! Oh, my God. Dude. 426 00:18:56,517 --> 00:18:58,586 We are co-dependent! 427 00:18:58,586 --> 00:19:02,068 We, you, me, we're Lil' Codies, dude! 428 00:19:02,068 --> 00:19:04,413 That's our DJ name. 429 00:19:04,413 --> 00:19:05,965 Oh, my God. Dude. 430 00:19:05,965 --> 00:19:07,724 Yas, Cody! Go, Cody! 431 00:19:09,586 --> 00:19:12,241 You know, and this space is gonna give us the chance 432 00:19:12,241 --> 00:19:14,482 to be our better, bolder selves. 433 00:19:14,482 --> 00:19:16,724 -Boulder! 434 00:19:16,724 --> 00:19:19,482 -Oh! Boulder! -Boulder! 435 00:19:29,655 --> 00:19:32,655 It sucks. 436 00:19:32,655 --> 00:19:35,827 But also, it doesn't. 437 00:19:35,827 --> 00:19:37,551 It's gonna be great. 438 00:19:40,068 --> 00:19:42,586 Yeah, dude. It's gonna be great. 439 00:19:42,586 --> 00:19:44,000 It's gonna be, like, so good. 440 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,413 We're gonna make it work so well. 441 00:19:46,413 --> 00:19:48,862 It's gonna be really, really good. 442 00:19:58,482 --> 00:20:00,344 -♪ We sche-e-eme ♪ -♪ We sche-e-eme ♪ 443 00:20:00,344 --> 00:20:02,275 -♪ We sche-eme, we sche-eme ♪ -♪ We scheme ♪ 444 00:20:02,275 --> 00:20:03,931 -♪ We sche-e-eme ♪ -♪ We sche-e-eme ♪ Hey! 445 00:20:03,931 --> 00:20:06,827 -We scheme. ♪ We scheme ♪ -♪ We scheme ♪ 446 00:20:06,827 --> 00:20:09,344 ♪ We sche-e-eme ♪ Yow! 447 00:20:09,344 --> 00:20:10,551 Couch! 448 00:20:10,551 --> 00:20:11,724 The couch! 449 00:20:13,931 --> 00:20:16,000 Oh, my God. Dude. I forgot the couch. 450 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:17,724 I can't believe you're not gonna get it. 451 00:20:19,724 --> 00:20:21,827 L-O-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L-L! 452 00:20:21,827 --> 00:20:23,413 We forgot the fucking couch? 453 00:20:23,413 --> 00:20:25,379 -Stupid! Stupid! 454 00:20:25,379 --> 00:20:27,482 -What's wrong with us? -No, no, no, no. 455 00:20:27,482 --> 00:20:29,000 It's okay! It is. 456 00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:31,413 It seriously is okay, because you know what? 457 00:20:31,413 --> 00:20:33,827 I just had to talk that shit out, truly. 458 00:20:33,827 --> 00:20:35,758 And the fact that I can I can let it go is a positive. 459 00:20:35,758 --> 00:20:39,034 -Mm. -Positivissimo. Yaas! 460 00:20:39,034 --> 00:20:40,724 Okay, cool. I feel good that you feel good. 461 00:20:40,724 --> 00:20:44,379 -And I feel -- 462 00:20:44,379 --> 00:20:45,586 Like, okay. 463 00:20:45,586 --> 00:20:47,689 -Can I ask you something? -Yeah. 464 00:20:47,689 --> 00:20:49,965 Do you feel, like, a little weird, like, mm, 465 00:20:49,965 --> 00:20:52,137 shitty, perhaps? 466 00:20:52,137 --> 00:20:54,137 -I am starting to not feel well. -Mm. 467 00:20:54,137 --> 00:20:56,724 Like, my whole body is starting to feel weird. 468 00:20:56,724 --> 00:20:59,068 The come-down can be a little... 469 00:20:59,068 --> 00:21:00,965 tricky. 470 00:21:00,965 --> 00:21:02,310 This is not good. 471 00:21:02,310 --> 00:21:04,448 This is not good. Do you have juice? 472 00:21:04,448 --> 00:21:05,793 No, I don't have any juice. 473 00:21:05,793 --> 00:21:07,275 Do you have bread? Do you have bread? 474 00:21:07,275 --> 00:21:09,482 I don't keep bread in the house. I'm not crazy. 475 00:21:09,482 --> 00:21:11,241 I'm a fucking idiot! 476 00:21:11,241 --> 00:21:12,482 -Shit! 477 00:21:12,482 --> 00:21:15,379 Oh, I don't feel good. 478 00:21:15,379 --> 00:21:17,379 Shit. 479 00:21:25,965 --> 00:21:27,724 -Did you puke? -Yeah, I did, dude. 480 00:21:27,724 --> 00:21:28,827 -You puked. -Ilana, 481 00:21:28,827 --> 00:21:30,137 I'm telling you, I puked, man! 482 00:21:30,137 --> 00:21:32,137 I hate puking! 483 00:21:32,137 --> 00:21:33,482 -No, no, no, no. -Yes. 484 00:21:33,482 --> 00:21:35,034 No, no, no! Don't clean it. 485 00:21:35,034 --> 00:21:36,965 You gotta get the deposit back! 486 00:21:38,758 --> 00:21:40,965 -Shit! -No! 487 00:21:40,965 --> 00:21:43,275 -Okay. -Okay. 488 00:21:43,275 --> 00:21:45,827 Dude, I know what to do. I know what to do. 489 00:21:45,827 --> 00:21:47,620 I feel bad. This is not good! 490 00:21:48,931 --> 00:21:50,758 I know, dude. I got it. 491 00:21:50,758 --> 00:21:54,413 No, I got it. Okay. 492 00:21:57,655 --> 00:21:59,379 Oh, no.Where'd you get this Molly from? 493 00:21:59,379 --> 00:22:01,379 Oh, my God. It's so cold. 494 00:22:01,379 --> 00:22:02,965 Where'd you get it, man? 495 00:22:02,965 --> 00:22:04,862 The Molly, where'd you get it? 496 00:22:08,206 --> 00:22:10,172 I got it on Craigslist. 497 00:22:10,172 --> 00:22:12,034 No, dude, I'm sorry. 498 00:22:12,034 --> 00:22:15,448 I thought it was still, like, a good thing to use for stuff. 499 00:22:21,620 --> 00:22:22,827 It'll be over soon. 500 00:22:22,827 --> 00:22:24,206 Yeah. 501 00:22:24,206 --> 00:22:26,862 In like six more hours. 502 00:22:36,448 --> 00:22:38,793 Bingo: It's okay, girlies. 503 00:22:40,862 --> 00:22:42,689 Yes. Ohh. 504 00:22:42,689 --> 00:22:45,103 We're gonna be okay.Yeah. 505 00:22:45,103 --> 00:22:46,172 We're gonna be okay. 506 00:22:46,172 --> 00:22:47,206 Bingo: Yikes! 507 00:22:52,758 --> 00:22:56,241 Mmm. 508 00:22:56,241 --> 00:22:58,344 Oh, my God. 509 00:22:58,344 --> 00:23:01,655 Dude, I'm too old 510 00:23:01,655 --> 00:23:03,172 for this shit. 511 00:23:03,172 --> 00:23:04,793 You're 30. 512 00:23:04,793 --> 00:23:06,448 I'm 27. What's wrong with me? 513 00:23:06,448 --> 00:23:10,172 Well, what twister blew into town 514 00:23:10,172 --> 00:23:13,413 and spit out you two tumbleweeds? 515 00:23:13,413 --> 00:23:14,758 -Jesus. -Stop, you're killing me. 516 00:23:14,758 --> 00:23:16,310 Be quiet. 517 00:23:16,310 --> 00:23:18,586 -Abbi. -Bevers. 518 00:23:23,482 --> 00:23:25,172 Oh, Abbi. 519 00:23:25,172 --> 00:23:27,172 Okay, what are you doing? Please stop. 520 00:23:27,172 --> 00:23:29,344 Ew, why are you doing this? 521 00:23:29,344 --> 00:23:30,689 Bevers. Stop. 522 00:23:33,068 --> 00:23:34,172 -Oh, my God. -Bevers? 523 00:23:34,172 --> 00:23:36,896 Wait, is this from the stoop sale? 524 00:23:36,896 --> 00:23:38,689 Holy shit, dude! 525 00:23:38,689 --> 00:23:42,103 I sold every last bit of furniture, 526 00:23:42,103 --> 00:23:46,000 and I up-sold most of it -- Bevers-style. 527 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:47,758 Bevers, that's... 528 00:23:47,758 --> 00:23:49,344 really impressive. 529 00:23:49,344 --> 00:23:53,241 And here's my commisshy. 530 00:23:53,241 --> 00:23:54,758 Mmm. 531 00:23:54,758 --> 00:23:56,275 Bevers, thank you so much. 532 00:23:56,275 --> 00:23:59,068 Really, I really appreciate it. 533 00:23:59,068 --> 00:24:01,413 I'm really gonna miss you. 534 00:24:01,413 --> 00:24:05,310 I'm...really gonna miss you, too. 535 00:24:16,310 --> 00:24:17,758 Wait, Bevers, 536 00:24:17,758 --> 00:24:20,896 does Melanie even know I'm moving out? 537 00:24:20,896 --> 00:24:23,000 Oh, yeah, she knows. 538 00:24:55,241 --> 00:24:58,482 Remember when we made meringues?And we took care of that egg, and then it cracked. 539 00:24:58,482 --> 00:24:59,724 That bird we found, that broken bird. 540 00:24:59,724 --> 00:25:01,965 Oh, my God. I hope it's okay. 541 00:25:01,965 --> 00:25:03,551 It's not. You know what I mean? It's dead. 542 00:25:03,551 --> 00:25:05,137 Yeah. When you did the teeth whitening? 543 00:25:05,137 --> 00:25:07,068 Oh, my God. The first time I tried a Diva Cup. 544 00:25:07,068 --> 00:25:09,551 That was a little bit of not my favorite.