1
00:00:05,617 --> 00:00:08,344
Money just...
perverts everything.
2
00:00:08,432 --> 00:00:10,790
At this point, I could stand
to be a little perverted.
3
00:00:10,878 --> 00:00:12,870
Yeah, I wanna be
a lot perverted.
4
00:00:13,003 --> 00:00:16,419
We'll be profitable and up 5X
inside three years.
5
00:00:16,502 --> 00:00:18,831
You've got three months.
6
00:00:19,948 --> 00:00:22,071
- What is this?
- My resignation letter.
7
00:00:22,159 --> 00:00:23,407
Laurie,
what are you doing here?
8
00:00:23,495 --> 00:00:25,744
I've made myself the CEO
of the OwlNet.
9
00:00:25,832 --> 00:00:27,166
This is who you're walking
away for?
10
00:00:27,254 --> 00:00:29,400
- This... George R.R....
- No, no, no. No!
11
00:00:29,518 --> 00:00:31,807
- Oh my god!
- You did this, Richard!
12
00:00:32,669 --> 00:00:34,625
Cheers to our future endeavors
together.
13
00:00:34,794 --> 00:00:38,602
We will not mine user data.
14
00:00:38,878 --> 00:00:40,044
I was very clear about that.
15
00:00:40,127 --> 00:00:41,969
If you do not take my money,
Richard...
16
00:00:42,195 --> 00:00:45,141
it will be very bad for you.
17
00:01:00,898 --> 00:01:03,336
- A billion dollars?
- Yes.
18
00:01:03,652 --> 00:01:08,257
A man offered us
a billion dollars,
19
00:01:08,419 --> 00:01:10,484
and you said no?
20
00:01:10,627 --> 00:01:12,685
A very bad man,
and he would've turned us
21
00:01:12,773 --> 00:01:14,453
into the worst possible
version of ourselves.
22
00:01:14,541 --> 00:01:16,334
I mean, you can't put
a price on ethics.
23
00:01:16,422 --> 00:01:18,210
But it seems you just did.
24
00:01:18,718 --> 00:01:20,576
One billion dollars.
25
00:01:20,765 --> 00:01:23,603
Monica...
you were okay with this?
26
00:01:24,781 --> 00:01:26,250
Y-Yes?
27
00:01:26,851 --> 00:01:28,210
Richard,
28
00:01:28,367 --> 00:01:31,709
do you remember when you turned
down $10 million from Gavin Belson?
29
00:01:31,797 --> 00:01:35,210
Did that start some sick
addiction to turning down money?
30
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:39,560
Are you just chasing that
dragon, you sick junkie fuck?!
31
00:01:39,648 --> 00:01:42,513
Now, Dinesh, look,
if I'd taken that 10 million,
32
00:01:42,601 --> 00:01:45,427
you wouldn't own two and a half
percent of everything we've built here!
33
00:01:45,515 --> 00:01:48,956
Two and a half percent of
a billion dollars is $25 million!
34
00:01:49,044 --> 00:01:51,581
Yes, but, actually,
the billion dollars
35
00:01:51,669 --> 00:01:53,706
was to own ten percent
of the company.
36
00:01:53,794 --> 00:01:56,347
So, not to split hairs,
you would, uh, technically,
37
00:01:56,435 --> 00:01:58,323
be worth...
250 million.
38
00:01:58,411 --> 00:01:59,857
- Fuck!
- Huh.
39
00:01:59,945 --> 00:02:02,277
At an interest
rate of 3.65 percent,
40
00:02:02,365 --> 00:02:04,502
leaving a billion dollars
in the bank would get you
41
00:02:04,586 --> 00:02:06,566
$36.5 million a year.
42
00:02:06,654 --> 00:02:08,964
That's a hundred grand
a day. That's...
43
00:02:09,052 --> 00:02:12,115
- Sixty-nine dollars a minute.
- Sixty-nine dollars a minute!
44
00:02:12,255 --> 00:02:14,152
Think about all the gold chain
45
00:02:14,240 --> 00:02:15,568
you could've bought
with that money.
46
00:02:15,656 --> 00:02:16,982
I actually don't think...
47
00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:19,591
that interest rate is
accurate because...
48
00:02:19,784 --> 00:02:22,552
- even a 30-year T-bill is only...
- Two-point-nine percent.
49
00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:24,265
- Two-point-nine.
- All your blathering
50
00:02:24,328 --> 00:02:26,263
just now would've
made us $2.32.
51
00:02:26,351 --> 00:02:28,542
Again, I-I don't think
that's right because,
52
00:02:28,630 --> 00:02:30,167
assuming an APR of three,
53
00:02:30,255 --> 00:02:31,779
I cost us well
under two dollars,
54
00:02:31,867 --> 00:02:33,474
so it's not even...
55
00:02:34,950 --> 00:02:37,232
Um, sorry, uh...
56
00:02:39,684 --> 00:02:41,351
- Hello?
- Richard!
57
00:02:41,439 --> 00:02:42,771
It's Maximo.
58
00:02:42,859 --> 00:02:44,854
We are on the phone.
How are you?
59
00:02:44,942 --> 00:02:46,568
Yeah, I know.
I'm fine.
60
00:02:46,656 --> 00:02:49,152
We were just talking about
you, myself and Colin.
61
00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:50,560
- Colin?
- Oh, yes.
62
00:02:50,648 --> 00:02:52,398
Colin is here.
63
00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:54,677
He is making
the peace sign to you.
64
00:02:54,872 --> 00:02:56,826
Now, you remember how you
refused to take my money?
65
00:02:56,914 --> 00:02:59,607
Well, Colin, he did
take my money. So,
66
00:02:59,695 --> 00:03:01,175
now he is leaving
your network.
67
00:03:01,263 --> 00:03:02,864
Wait, to go where?
68
00:03:02,948 --> 00:03:05,482
Oh, to the network run by new friend,
Laurie Bream.
69
00:03:05,732 --> 00:03:07,693
Now, you remember when I said
if you did not take my money,
70
00:03:07,781 --> 00:03:09,552
it would be very
bad for you?
71
00:03:09,839 --> 00:03:12,809
Well, let me tell you what is
going to happen to you next.
72
00:03:12,943 --> 00:03:15,058
Which was too, too,
too much for her,
73
00:03:15,146 --> 00:03:18,230
so she went down
51st Street to see Dr. X,
74
00:03:18,318 --> 00:03:20,466
who gave her eight pills,
which left her...
75
00:03:20,554 --> 00:03:22,784
Boobless.
76
00:03:30,126 --> 00:03:32,330
*SILICON VALLEY *
Season 06 Episode 03
77
00:03:32,418 --> 00:03:34,338
*SILICON VALLEY *
Episode Title : "Hooli Smokes!"
78
00:03:35,741 --> 00:03:38,318
- So, Colin's out.
- Yes.
79
00:03:38,561 --> 00:03:40,896
So, our profits are...
zero.
80
00:03:40,984 --> 00:03:42,068
It's worse than that.
81
00:03:42,156 --> 00:03:44,640
Maximo has bought
all of Laurie's Pied Piper shares,
82
00:03:44,728 --> 00:03:47,270
as well as all the shares
of Big Head's dad.
83
00:03:47,358 --> 00:03:49,333
He now owns 30 percent
of the company.
84
00:03:49,421 --> 00:03:51,372
So, the only way we can
raise money to stay alive
85
00:03:51,460 --> 00:03:53,333
is by selling shares,
but the second we do that...
86
00:03:53,450 --> 00:03:54,701
Maximo buys them.
87
00:03:54,789 --> 00:03:56,536
Yeah, and when he gets
a majority stake,
88
00:03:56,624 --> 00:03:58,874
he can do whatever he wants.
89
00:03:59,016 --> 00:04:01,099
Shut us down, fire all of us,
90
00:04:01,187 --> 00:04:03,277
take our IP to Laurie
to use on her network.
91
00:04:03,365 --> 00:04:04,441
He's starving us out.
92
00:04:04,529 --> 00:04:06,755
- How long can we survive?
- Well,
93
00:04:06,974 --> 00:04:10,685
the Siege of Candia
lasted 21 years.
94
00:04:11,021 --> 00:04:13,395
Oh. Well,
that's something.
95
00:04:13,483 --> 00:04:15,761
It ended in 1669,
96
00:04:15,849 --> 00:04:18,113
when the Ottoman soldiers
were infected with plague
97
00:04:18,201 --> 00:04:19,536
after being attacked
with the liquid
98
00:04:19,624 --> 00:04:22,138
from the spleens
and buboes of the dead.
99
00:04:22,226 --> 00:04:23,318
What's a bubo?
100
00:04:23,406 --> 00:04:25,786
Plague-infested lymph nodes.
101
00:04:25,874 --> 00:04:28,499
So, they would, like, scoop them
out and throw them at people?
102
00:04:28,587 --> 00:04:31,451
Fuck! Fuck.
103
00:04:31,648 --> 00:04:35,349
Richard, did you just try
to punch the wall and miss?
104
00:04:35,437 --> 00:04:37,771
Nope.
I clipped it. I got it.
105
00:04:38,047 --> 00:04:39,264
Sort of like that.
106
00:04:39,515 --> 00:04:40,724
I see. So,
107
00:04:40,812 --> 00:04:43,091
until a Richard Hendricks
reports an assault,
108
00:04:43,179 --> 00:04:45,006
I-I technically can't
turn myself in for it?
109
00:04:45,094 --> 00:04:46,279
That is correct.
110
00:04:46,367 --> 00:04:47,951
And what about
a restraining order?
111
00:04:48,039 --> 00:04:50,789
Can I-I take one out
against myself on his behalf?
112
00:04:50,877 --> 00:04:52,201
No.
113
00:04:52,339 --> 00:04:55,326
What if I threaten you guys?
Just hear me out...
114
00:04:57,146 --> 00:05:00,312
Fucking pigs. I-I hope that you
get cheated out of your overtime.
115
00:05:00,375 --> 00:05:02,022
How about that,
dickless?
116
00:05:02,110 --> 00:05:04,061
Maybe you could just
try calling the guy?
117
00:05:05,804 --> 00:05:07,865
Why were you talking
to the police?
118
00:05:08,109 --> 00:05:10,276
Oh, it was just
a personal issue.
119
00:05:10,479 --> 00:05:12,145
You should not bring them here.
120
00:05:13,554 --> 00:05:15,387
Fuck the police.
121
00:05:15,691 --> 00:05:19,545
Jian-Yang, you're not doing
anything illegal here, are you?
122
00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:21,897
Yes.
123
00:05:24,134 --> 00:05:25,677
Where is everyone?
124
00:05:36,089 --> 00:05:39,006
Jared is bringing
chaos to the house,
125
00:05:39,094 --> 00:05:41,299
and chaos is bad
for our business.
126
00:05:41,394 --> 00:05:44,534
Yeah.
What is our business?
127
00:05:44,966 --> 00:05:48,955
I told you, it's a better for
both of us if you do not know.
128
00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:50,640
Oh, right. Yeah.
129
00:05:51,203 --> 00:05:52,815
We need to get rid of Gwart.
130
00:05:53,126 --> 00:05:55,418
It's the only way
to get rid of Jared.
131
00:05:55,651 --> 00:05:57,252
Gwart.
132
00:05:57,931 --> 00:05:59,104
Yes.
133
00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:04,531
Richard?
134
00:06:05,818 --> 00:06:07,984
- Gavin.
- You look like shit.
135
00:06:08,442 --> 00:06:09,966
So do you.
136
00:06:10,458 --> 00:06:12,156
What happened to your hand?
137
00:06:12,569 --> 00:06:13,986
I punched a wall.
138
00:06:14,424 --> 00:06:15,799
Cool.
139
00:06:16,880 --> 00:06:18,066
Want a drink?
140
00:06:18,154 --> 00:06:19,864
Don't you think
it's a little early...
141
00:06:19,948 --> 00:06:22,313
It's kombucha with ginseng
and lemongrass, Richard.
142
00:06:22,408 --> 00:06:24,075
I'm not a fucking hobo.
143
00:06:24,823 --> 00:06:27,587
All I wanted to do was
be a golden millionaire.
144
00:06:27,675 --> 00:06:28,985
Is that too much to ask?
145
00:06:29,073 --> 00:06:31,313
A millionaire
that gets peed on?
146
00:06:31,632 --> 00:06:33,602
I could see you making
half that happen.
147
00:06:33,690 --> 00:06:36,235
No, you have as many
millions as your age.
148
00:06:36,608 --> 00:06:39,842
I mean, everyone in the Valley
is swimming in money.
149
00:06:39,981 --> 00:06:41,490
Why not me?
150
00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:44,256
I believe your people
have a concept for it.
151
00:06:44,359 --> 00:06:46,147
- Karma.
- Firstly,
152
00:06:46,235 --> 00:06:48,700
I am Muslim from Pakistan,
you fucking racist.
153
00:06:48,788 --> 00:06:50,545
Secondly, karma
does not exist.
154
00:06:50,633 --> 00:06:52,178
Otherwise, it would
mean that bad things
155
00:06:52,266 --> 00:06:53,849
happen to me because
I'm a bad person.
156
00:06:53,937 --> 00:06:56,311
Check... and check.
157
00:06:56,399 --> 00:06:58,191
Oh, I'm a bad person?
158
00:06:58,279 --> 00:07:00,506
Says the guy who
literally worships Satan.
159
00:07:00,594 --> 00:07:02,175
I am a great guy.
160
00:07:02,277 --> 00:07:04,491
In my youth, I would've
argued that life is just
161
00:07:04,579 --> 00:07:07,850
a series of random events,
devoid of any meaning.
162
00:07:08,064 --> 00:07:11,256
But as a data scientist,
I have to recognize
163
00:07:11,352 --> 00:07:15,295
that... sometimes,
patterns emerge.
164
00:07:16,055 --> 00:07:18,819
Undeniable patterns.
165
00:07:20,526 --> 00:07:22,484
Get right with the universe.
166
00:07:22,572 --> 00:07:23,952
Dinesh?
167
00:07:24,040 --> 00:07:25,814
- Yo!
- Hey.
168
00:07:25,902 --> 00:07:28,047
What is up, my cousin?
169
00:07:28,135 --> 00:07:30,061
- Oh!
- Hey, uh, Gilfoyle,
170
00:07:30,149 --> 00:07:32,477
- you remember my cousin, Wajeed?
- Yes.
171
00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:34,844
Coz, I have been
meaning to call you.
172
00:07:34,932 --> 00:07:36,473
Remember last year
when you wanted to sell
173
00:07:36,561 --> 00:07:38,946
all those shares of
Bro that I gave you?
174
00:07:39,111 --> 00:07:40,813
And I was like,
don't sell those shares!
175
00:07:40,901 --> 00:07:42,775
And you were like,
"I need the money
176
00:07:42,885 --> 00:07:45,243
"to buy floor mats for my Tesla,
so I can make a guy
177
00:07:45,331 --> 00:07:47,068
named Danny
in the office feel bad."
178
00:07:47,156 --> 00:07:48,531
Good memory. Um,
179
00:07:48,614 --> 00:07:51,406
but, you know, Bro was
basically out of business.
180
00:07:51,489 --> 00:07:52,649
It was.
181
00:07:52,737 --> 00:07:55,029
But so wild!
182
00:07:55,146 --> 00:07:58,157
After you sold those shares,
I sold Bro to MoveShack
183
00:07:58,281 --> 00:08:01,563
for basically nothing,
and yesterday,
184
00:08:02,064 --> 00:08:04,094
MoveShack got "acquired"
185
00:08:04,201 --> 00:08:08,672
by Snapchat, and, uh...
we crushed it!
186
00:08:09,913 --> 00:08:13,180
- How much did you make?
- Oh, you won't believe this...
187
00:08:18,238 --> 00:08:20,101
Sixty million dollars?
188
00:08:20,189 --> 00:08:22,079
Yes, 60 million dollars!
189
00:08:22,167 --> 00:08:24,750
I'm a golden millionaire!
190
00:08:24,854 --> 00:08:26,353
Times two!
191
00:08:26,456 --> 00:08:29,247
So, Dinesh sold his shares,
192
00:08:29,411 --> 00:08:33,493
and then your fortunes
turned around. Is that right?
193
00:08:33,588 --> 00:08:36,984
Huh. Weird.
It's just like that time.
194
00:08:37,133 --> 00:08:40,094
Remember, you, me, and Ali,
we went down to play by the river...
195
00:08:40,182 --> 00:08:42,883
- Oh... Boring story.
- And then, and then Dinesh,
196
00:08:42,971 --> 00:08:45,758
you snuck home so that
you could get Ali's jump rope
197
00:08:45,846 --> 00:08:47,279
and play with it by yourself,
198
00:08:47,367 --> 00:08:48,765
without telling him,
199
00:08:49,154 --> 00:08:52,305
and then Ali and I
found a giant...
200
00:08:52,687 --> 00:08:54,773
giant box of British candy.
201
00:08:54,884 --> 00:08:56,318
You love candy.
202
00:08:56,406 --> 00:08:57,948
Oh, it was the best.
203
00:08:58,110 --> 00:09:00,055
Anyway, I'm
a golden millionaire.
204
00:09:00,143 --> 00:09:01,914
How about I buy drinks, yeah?
205
00:09:03,577 --> 00:09:05,494
- Karma's a...
- You're a bitch.
206
00:09:06,016 --> 00:09:07,586
Anyway, the fucking
US government
207
00:09:07,674 --> 00:09:09,383
blocked the entire thing.
Can you believe that?
208
00:09:09,471 --> 00:09:11,055
I pay taxes.
209
00:09:11,670 --> 00:09:13,836
- I mean, I don't, but...
- Yeah.
210
00:09:14,171 --> 00:09:15,836
But look,
I mean, I think
211
00:09:15,924 --> 00:09:17,466
we're even more
fucked than you are.
212
00:09:17,702 --> 00:09:19,305
We're quite a pair,
aren't we?
213
00:09:19,393 --> 00:09:22,297
To us. To the men
in the arena,
214
00:09:22,718 --> 00:09:26,044
living or dying under
the watchful gaze of Caesar.
215
00:09:26,202 --> 00:09:28,255
Are you not entertained?
216
00:09:35,046 --> 00:09:38,676
It's, uh, from Jared Dunn.
Do you remember him?
217
00:09:38,803 --> 00:09:40,594
Of course. How's he doing?
218
00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:42,489
Actually, uh, funny enough,
219
00:09:42,577 --> 00:09:45,994
he just bailed on me
to go work for some...
220
00:09:46,082 --> 00:09:48,333
sexy new startup back
at my old hacker hostel.
221
00:09:48,447 --> 00:09:52,317
Ironic. Exactly the same way
he left me, for you.
222
00:09:52,630 --> 00:09:54,614
Jared always
had an eye for talent.
223
00:09:55,953 --> 00:09:57,911
Thanks, I guess.
224
00:09:58,365 --> 00:10:00,667
So, what was the munition
225
00:10:00,755 --> 00:10:02,716
that CIFIUS got
on your case for?
226
00:10:02,804 --> 00:10:04,062
Some kind of...
227
00:10:04,150 --> 00:10:06,609
- illegal hacking tool?
- You wanna hear the worst part?
228
00:10:06,697 --> 00:10:09,567
It's a fucking dating
app called Foxhole.
229
00:10:09,823 --> 00:10:11,247
- An app?
- Yep!
230
00:10:11,335 --> 00:10:13,711
I can't shut it down because my
investors will lose their shit,
231
00:10:13,799 --> 00:10:15,951
and I can't sell it because
who the fuck wants something
232
00:10:16,039 --> 00:10:18,484
- with all those restrictions on it?
- Right.
233
00:10:18,572 --> 00:10:20,073
Anyway...
234
00:10:21,545 --> 00:10:23,044
Here's to us,
235
00:10:23,314 --> 00:10:24,755
the Shackletons,
236
00:10:24,843 --> 00:10:27,669
- betrayed by nature's cruelest whims...
- Wait.
237
00:10:27,762 --> 00:10:29,645
- Her wants...
- Sorry, just...
238
00:10:29,733 --> 00:10:31,911
If I owned Foxhole,
239
00:10:32,172 --> 00:10:33,880
wouldn't that prevent
this Chilean guy
240
00:10:33,968 --> 00:10:35,661
from buying more
of my shares?
241
00:10:35,896 --> 00:10:37,419
Actually, it would go
even further.
242
00:10:37,507 --> 00:10:39,674
He'd have to sell
all the shares he already owns.
243
00:10:39,762 --> 00:10:41,095
Okay, so, um,
244
00:10:41,300 --> 00:10:43,884
if you sell me Foxhole,
I mean, that would
245
00:10:43,972 --> 00:10:45,847
certainly save
my ass, obviously,
246
00:10:45,935 --> 00:10:48,301
but it would
also save yours
247
00:10:48,632 --> 00:10:51,382
because then you could move your
operations wherever you wanted.
248
00:10:51,794 --> 00:10:53,752
I mean, it's kind
of perfect, right?
249
00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:56,630
It would benefit
us both, equally.
250
00:10:56,903 --> 00:10:58,458
- Holy shit.
- Yeah.
251
00:10:58,593 --> 00:11:02,292
Um, look, Gavin, I know we
always haven't seen eye-to-eye,
252
00:11:02,380 --> 00:11:04,209
we're not the best
of friends, but...
253
00:11:04,457 --> 00:11:07,362
this may be
a chance to actually
254
00:11:07,450 --> 00:11:10,200
help each other out, right?
255
00:11:10,323 --> 00:11:11,716
What do you say?
256
00:11:11,804 --> 00:11:14,864
I mean...
isn't it obvious?
257
00:11:14,952 --> 00:11:17,744
I say... no!
258
00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:20,700
- What?
- No!
259
00:11:20,803 --> 00:11:22,470
Fuck no, Richard!
260
00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:24,934
I can't make a move
that would benefit you.
261
00:11:25,022 --> 00:11:26,973
You're my competition.
Help no rival.
262
00:11:27,061 --> 00:11:28,994
It's one of the basic
principles of business.
263
00:11:29,082 --> 00:11:31,478
We just spent the last
hour bonding about how
264
00:11:31,566 --> 00:11:33,878
this business is comprised
of backstabbers and cutthroats.
265
00:11:33,966 --> 00:11:36,882
Yes, exactly!
That's what this is.
266
00:11:37,559 --> 00:11:39,184
It's a little weird
you don't get it.
267
00:11:39,277 --> 00:11:40,668
I could help you, Gavin.
268
00:11:40,797 --> 00:11:42,505
You already have, Richard!
269
00:11:42,603 --> 00:11:44,394
I mean, I was sitting
up here feeling
270
00:11:44,619 --> 00:11:47,245
totally just impotent,
and then you came along
271
00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:50,041
and exposed your underbelly,
and practically begged me
272
00:11:50,129 --> 00:11:52,689
to plunge the knife in!
I mean, I still have a deep hole
273
00:11:52,777 --> 00:11:55,801
to crawl out of, but this
is a fucking great start.
274
00:11:56,666 --> 00:11:57,916
Look at that.
275
00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:00,051
It barely hurts anymore.
276
00:12:00,161 --> 00:12:01,785
Well, if you'll excuse me,
277
00:12:01,873 --> 00:12:03,074
I have a triathlon
to train for,
278
00:12:03,162 --> 00:12:06,598
and I'm suddenly feeling
a wellspring of energy.
279
00:12:07,489 --> 00:12:09,240
Look, Richie,
280
00:12:09,410 --> 00:12:11,604
you're basically outta options.
281
00:12:11,692 --> 00:12:13,387
So, what are
you saying? That...
282
00:12:13,475 --> 00:12:15,785
I just lay down and die?
283
00:12:16,502 --> 00:12:19,757
I take issue with your
definition of die, my dude.
284
00:12:19,845 --> 00:12:22,668
I can get that Chilean cat on the
phone right now and get you paid.
285
00:12:22,756 --> 00:12:23,953
There's
no shame in it.
286
00:12:24,041 --> 00:12:28,193
Musk built PayPal and sold.
Hoffman built LinkedIn and sold.
287
00:12:28,281 --> 00:12:29,781
You seen those guys lately?
288
00:12:29,864 --> 00:12:33,254
I don't care about the money,
that's not why I got into this.
289
00:12:33,342 --> 00:12:36,184
Richie, can I be honest
with you for once?
290
00:12:36,272 --> 00:12:39,402
For once?
You're my attorney.
291
00:12:41,912 --> 00:12:46,161
You remember the end
of Thelma and Louise?
292
00:12:46,249 --> 00:12:48,566
How they drove
that car off the cliff?
293
00:12:48,879 --> 00:12:53,115
Why? That was
a mint '66 T-Bird.
294
00:12:53,231 --> 00:12:56,338
They didn't need that car to get over
the cliff. Why'd that car have to die?
295
00:12:56,426 --> 00:12:58,606
I-I think it had
something to do with, um,
296
00:12:58,811 --> 00:13:00,917
- women's rights or something?
- Important stuff.
297
00:13:01,005 --> 00:13:03,090
But... sorry,
what's your point?
298
00:13:03,178 --> 00:13:04,691
My point, Richie,
299
00:13:04,779 --> 00:13:07,612
is you wanna go over the cliff,
Thelma, that's fine.
300
00:13:07,700 --> 00:13:09,158
All right? You do you.
301
00:13:09,246 --> 00:13:12,607
But you gotta remember
there are 500 other people
302
00:13:12,695 --> 00:13:16,106
in the trunk that are gonna
burst into flames with you.
303
00:13:16,437 --> 00:13:17,910
And for what?
304
00:13:18,155 --> 00:13:19,989
Computers?
305
00:13:20,384 --> 00:13:22,426
That's Jared. He's been
calling me all day.
306
00:13:22,544 --> 00:13:25,045
Uh, hey, can I call you back?
I'm in the middle of something.
307
00:13:25,133 --> 00:13:27,301
Did you talk to Gavin Belson
about Gwart's company,
308
00:13:27,389 --> 00:13:28,807
and call her sexy?
309
00:13:28,909 --> 00:13:30,652
Uh, what? No.
310
00:13:30,823 --> 00:13:32,832
I mean, yes,
but I barely mentioned it.
311
00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:35,879
Did you call her sexy?
Yes or no?
312
00:13:35,967 --> 00:13:38,660
I think I was more
talking about her tech.
313
00:13:38,794 --> 00:13:40,526
So, you told Gavin Belson,
314
00:13:40,614 --> 00:13:42,926
a lion in repose,
315
00:13:43,014 --> 00:13:44,941
that Gwart was
a potential threat,
316
00:13:45,029 --> 00:13:48,228
and now Jian-Yang is selling
us to him for pocket change.
317
00:13:48,316 --> 00:13:49,739
- Jian-Yang can do that?
- Yeah.
318
00:13:49,823 --> 00:13:52,668
He owns 60 percent of the company.
He can do whatever he wants.
319
00:13:52,756 --> 00:13:54,871
Gavin is shutting
us down, Richard.
320
00:13:55,115 --> 00:13:57,119
Gwart is so mad,
she won't even look at me.
321
00:13:57,207 --> 00:13:59,363
- Aah, fuck.
- You know, if you want revenge
322
00:13:59,451 --> 00:14:01,004
on me, that's fine.
323
00:14:01,092 --> 00:14:02,863
But to go after Gwart?
324
00:14:02,989 --> 00:14:04,277
She doesn't have
325
00:14:04,365 --> 00:14:06,949
your savvy or your
ruthlessness, Richard.
326
00:14:07,037 --> 00:14:08,912
Hell, she has to wear
earplugs on hikes
327
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:10,457
because the forest is too loud.
328
00:14:10,545 --> 00:14:13,046
Look, I was only talking
to Gavin to save Pied Piper.
329
00:14:13,134 --> 00:14:14,213
I-I had no idea he was...
330
00:14:14,301 --> 00:14:15,771
A monster?
Of course you did!
331
00:14:15,859 --> 00:14:18,106
That's all you talked
about for years!
332
00:14:18,194 --> 00:14:19,443
"Gavin is a monster.
333
00:14:19,531 --> 00:14:21,840
Poor Pied Piper.
I'm Richard Hendricks."
334
00:14:21,928 --> 00:14:23,064
I don't think
my voice is that deep.
335
00:14:23,152 --> 00:14:25,207
I mean, who is
the buddy-fucker now?
336
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:27,223
You are the buddy-fucker.
337
00:14:29,478 --> 00:14:31,072
So, we gonna save
that T-Bird,
338
00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:33,176
or are we gonna take her
right over the cliff?
339
00:14:36,423 --> 00:14:37,757
So, uh,
340
00:14:38,202 --> 00:14:40,606
look, I-I know it's
not a billion dollars,
341
00:14:40,694 --> 00:14:43,777
but, um, given
the situation...
342
00:14:44,463 --> 00:14:46,333
it's actually
a very good deal.
343
00:14:46,421 --> 00:14:48,035
Do you want to sell
the company?
344
00:14:48,123 --> 00:14:49,301
No, I don't.
345
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,348
Dinesh, I don't, but...
346
00:14:51,640 --> 00:14:53,676
Ron is right.
347
00:14:53,873 --> 00:14:55,790
Maximo is getting
it no matter what.
348
00:14:56,651 --> 00:14:58,276
Why just give it away?
349
00:14:58,514 --> 00:15:00,514
Right. Yeah.
350
00:15:00,651 --> 00:15:03,610
Look, anyway, you
guys have done...
351
00:15:04,022 --> 00:15:07,401
everything I've asked for,
so, uh, you all deserve this.
352
00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:09,740
Well, we can take the money
and still be good people, right?
353
00:15:09,833 --> 00:15:11,401
Plus, Richard
is the CEO,
354
00:15:11,489 --> 00:15:12,565
so I have to follow
his orders.
355
00:15:12,653 --> 00:15:13,945
I mean, no one's ever
been a bad person
356
00:15:13,995 --> 00:15:15,912
'cause they followed
orders, right?
357
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,703
You guys, there's
really no other option.
358
00:15:17,787 --> 00:15:19,924
- Yes, there is.
- What? No.
359
00:15:20,012 --> 00:15:22,995
Okay, if Hooli won't
sell us Foxhole...
360
00:15:23,620 --> 00:15:25,285
we could just buy Hooli.
361
00:15:25,552 --> 00:15:27,183
Right. Yeah.
362
00:15:27,286 --> 00:15:29,822
The-the same way we can buy
America and everything in it.
363
00:15:29,910 --> 00:15:32,620
No, I-I'm serious. We just found
out how much Hooli's worth,
364
00:15:32,703 --> 00:15:34,330
and it's not that much.
365
00:15:34,418 --> 00:15:36,662
Sorry, how do we know
how much Hooli's worth?
366
00:15:43,495 --> 00:15:46,384
Gavin bought Gwart's
company using Hooli stock?
367
00:15:46,472 --> 00:15:49,912
Mm-hmm. And when he did,
he tipped his hand.
368
00:15:49,995 --> 00:15:52,017
He really ran it
into the ground.
369
00:15:52,105 --> 00:15:53,910
Yeah, and Maximo's
offer's so strong
370
00:15:53,998 --> 00:15:55,676
that our price just shot up.
371
00:15:56,168 --> 00:15:59,152
Holy shit. We're
worth more than Hooli.
372
00:16:00,907 --> 00:16:02,573
Uh, hey Jared, uh,
373
00:16:02,688 --> 00:16:04,771
- thank you for...
- Save it.
374
00:16:05,104 --> 00:16:07,965
I'm not doing this for you.
I'm doing it for Gwart.
375
00:16:08,407 --> 00:16:10,293
The second you own Hooli,
you release us
376
00:16:10,381 --> 00:16:12,746
to become independent,
non-negotiable.
377
00:16:13,599 --> 00:16:15,823
Of course. Sure, yeah.
378
00:16:16,121 --> 00:16:18,488
If that's what you want.
Cool.
379
00:16:19,706 --> 00:16:21,043
So, guys...
380
00:16:21,512 --> 00:16:23,012
are we really
doing this?
381
00:16:25,167 --> 00:16:27,283
Fuck it. Yeah.
382
00:16:27,371 --> 00:16:28,453
I think we have to.
383
00:16:28,537 --> 00:16:30,199
We have to
sleep on it.
384
00:16:30,325 --> 00:16:31,491
Okay.
385
00:16:32,062 --> 00:16:34,379
We're gonna buy Hooli.
386
00:16:34,716 --> 00:16:36,183
Big question,
387
00:16:36,444 --> 00:16:38,329
- how do we buy Hooli?
- Well,
388
00:16:38,426 --> 00:16:41,072
in order to get the cash,
we have to sell a chunk
389
00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:43,411
of our shares to someone
other than Maximo,
390
00:16:43,495 --> 00:16:45,120
and, I mean,
391
00:16:45,203 --> 00:16:47,447
whoever we rope into that
is gonna lose a fortune.
392
00:16:47,535 --> 00:16:49,556
- Because...?
- Well, we'd be selling to them
393
00:16:49,644 --> 00:16:51,088
at our current
high price.
394
00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:53,252
And when we acquire
Hooli and Foxhole,
395
00:16:53,340 --> 00:16:55,752
CIFIUS will force Maximo
to dump all his shares,
396
00:16:55,840 --> 00:16:57,416
and our valuation
will plummet.
397
00:16:57,504 --> 00:16:59,079
And I couldn't do
that to anyone.
398
00:16:59,161 --> 00:17:01,453
Oh? Couldn't you?
399
00:17:02,832 --> 00:17:04,495
Yeah, I-I'm not sure
I could do it either.
400
00:17:04,578 --> 00:17:06,103
Okay!
Deal breaker then, right?
401
00:17:06,198 --> 00:17:07,908
'Cause there's no one
I could do that to either.
402
00:17:07,996 --> 00:17:09,925
Oh, isn't there...
403
00:17:10,525 --> 00:17:11,859
bro?
404
00:17:12,526 --> 00:17:14,121
Oh, God damn it.
405
00:17:14,675 --> 00:17:17,285
You want me to be
an investor in your company?
406
00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:18,853
- I do.
- Wow,
407
00:17:18,941 --> 00:17:20,759
that-that is so cool.
408
00:17:20,847 --> 00:17:22,933
But I don't know why
I'm surprised because
409
00:17:23,082 --> 00:17:26,087
you're literally
the greatest guy that I know.
410
00:17:26,658 --> 00:17:28,449
- What?
- Yeah! I mean,
411
00:17:28,537 --> 00:17:30,995
literally last week, Farooq was
calling me, and he was like,
412
00:17:31,079 --> 00:17:32,787
"Hey, you know
who's a good guy?"
413
00:17:32,870 --> 00:17:34,537
And I was like,
"My cousin Dinesh!"
414
00:17:34,620 --> 00:17:37,877
And he was like,
"Yes. Yes, your cousin,
415
00:17:37,965 --> 00:17:39,433
- Dinesh."
- That's me.
416
00:17:39,521 --> 00:17:40,597
It's hard for me to say,
417
00:17:40,685 --> 00:17:42,986
but I-I think we should
hang out more, okay?
418
00:17:43,074 --> 00:17:45,619
And that's my fault,
and I promise that I will call you
419
00:17:45,707 --> 00:17:47,533
as soon as me
and my friends get back.
420
00:17:47,621 --> 00:17:48,845
Where you guys going?
421
00:17:48,933 --> 00:17:50,892
Oh, we're just gonna go
down to the North Shore
422
00:17:50,980 --> 00:17:52,079
because...
423
00:17:52,161 --> 00:17:55,738
I bought 80 acres
in Hawaii, bro!
424
00:17:55,912 --> 00:17:58,541
And the beach is, like,
pretty private or whatever,
425
00:17:58,629 --> 00:18:00,537
but there's, like, fashion
shoots and supermodels...
426
00:18:00,620 --> 00:18:02,090
Just sign it.
427
00:18:02,797 --> 00:18:05,103
Thank you, triathletes,
for being here today
428
00:18:05,191 --> 00:18:08,418
to support a wonderful
cause, HooliCares.
429
00:18:08,506 --> 00:18:11,043
Hooli cares.
430
00:18:11,515 --> 00:18:12,891
Do you?
431
00:18:15,237 --> 00:18:16,551
Take your marks.
432
00:18:38,986 --> 00:18:40,236
He's in the water.
433
00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:41,612
You sure?
434
00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:43,996
I cracked into
Gavin's HooliWatch.
435
00:18:44,084 --> 00:18:45,289
Don't ask me how I did it.
436
00:18:45,377 --> 00:18:47,344
I've got real-time GPS location,
437
00:18:47,432 --> 00:18:49,662
blood pressure,
body temperature, heart rate.
438
00:18:49,745 --> 00:18:51,787
I can even see where he is
in his menstrual cycle.
439
00:18:51,870 --> 00:18:54,041
Looks like a good
day to fuck him.
440
00:18:55,354 --> 00:18:57,524
So, I guess we're gonna
talk all damn day?
441
00:18:57,627 --> 00:19:00,299
- That the play?
- Uh, no. No.
442
00:19:00,507 --> 00:19:03,041
We're calling him,
okay? So...
443
00:19:03,370 --> 00:19:06,286
- let's do this.
- Okay. 'Cause it just seemed like...
444
00:19:06,370 --> 00:19:09,995
Lex Skelton. Hey, uh, it's,
um, Richard Hendricks.
445
00:19:10,079 --> 00:19:13,026
I'd like to ask
for you to call
446
00:19:13,114 --> 00:19:16,010
an emergency meeting of
the Hooli board of directors.
447
00:19:22,203 --> 00:19:24,429
Flank that little
fucker in the black cap!
448
00:19:24,990 --> 00:19:26,935
Uh, we've tried to, uh,
449
00:19:27,023 --> 00:19:28,827
contact Gavin Belson,
450
00:19:29,037 --> 00:19:31,656
but, uh, he hasn't responded.
451
00:19:31,868 --> 00:19:34,656
We do, however,
have a quorum.
452
00:19:34,883 --> 00:19:35,924
Let's proceed.
453
00:19:36,012 --> 00:19:38,599
Great. Well, I would
like to present you
454
00:19:38,687 --> 00:19:41,747
with an offer, and, uh, judging
by the current state of Hooli,
455
00:19:41,835 --> 00:19:44,054
I think you'll find it
very interesting.
456
00:19:52,453 --> 00:19:54,607
All right, according
to the company charter,
457
00:19:54,695 --> 00:19:58,203
Gavin Belson does have
two hours to formally object.
458
00:19:58,304 --> 00:20:01,286
Right.
Yeah, two hours,
459
00:20:01,486 --> 00:20:02,912
so...
460
00:20:03,025 --> 00:20:04,620
That's no problem at all.
461
00:20:04,861 --> 00:20:06,411
You've seen my offer,
462
00:20:06,495 --> 00:20:09,111
but unless everyone
agrees to sell,
463
00:20:09,199 --> 00:20:11,450
there's no deal
because I need
464
00:20:11,596 --> 00:20:13,033
total control
of the company.
465
00:20:13,214 --> 00:20:16,023
- So, who's in?
- Richard,
466
00:20:16,111 --> 00:20:19,203
I expect a lot of us
are on the fence here.
467
00:20:19,424 --> 00:20:22,328
Personally, I've been with
Gavin for a lot of years,
468
00:20:22,411 --> 00:20:23,767
and believe...
469
00:20:24,010 --> 00:20:25,471
Oh.
470
00:20:25,810 --> 00:20:27,310
Everyone?
471
00:20:27,682 --> 00:20:30,954
All right. I suppose I won't
stand in the way then.
472
00:20:32,109 --> 00:20:33,318
Okay!
473
00:20:33,689 --> 00:20:36,041
Good, yeah.
I'll just email you
474
00:20:36,135 --> 00:20:37,939
the long form,
and you can just eSign...
475
00:20:38,027 --> 00:20:40,275
ESign?
No!
476
00:20:40,716 --> 00:20:42,713
We don't do that.
477
00:20:42,954 --> 00:20:44,995
- What?
- Never have, never will.
478
00:20:45,079 --> 00:20:46,589
You want this deal
to close,
479
00:20:46,677 --> 00:20:50,425
you bring us the forms,
get everyone's hard signature,
480
00:20:50,513 --> 00:20:53,357
and then bring them
to me to countersign.
481
00:20:53,860 --> 00:20:55,234
Is that a problem?
482
00:20:55,322 --> 00:20:56,322
No.
483
00:20:57,221 --> 00:20:59,263
More push, more push, more push!
484
00:21:09,037 --> 00:21:10,542
Whoa, he just sped up!
485
00:21:10,630 --> 00:21:12,703
There's been some lag,
but I think he's on the bike.
486
00:21:12,787 --> 00:21:15,196
- Okay, we gotta hustle, guys.
- I'm aware.
487
00:21:16,328 --> 00:21:18,399
All right, everybody know
where they're going?
488
00:21:18,578 --> 00:21:19,995
You go, you get the signatures,
489
00:21:20,079 --> 00:21:21,741
- we meet at Lex's offices, yeah?
- Yeah.
490
00:21:21,829 --> 00:21:23,164
Okay. Quick, quick.
491
00:21:24,829 --> 00:21:26,399
Come on, come on, come on!
492
00:21:35,281 --> 00:21:36,516
Go, go, go!
493
00:21:36,828 --> 00:21:37,912
One down.
494
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:39,664
The next one's up on Market.
495
00:21:39,813 --> 00:21:41,493
Just up this block
and take a right.
496
00:21:41,719 --> 00:21:44,037
Is that what the GPS says?
497
00:21:44,322 --> 00:21:46,797
- N-no, I...
- Okay, do you wanna drive?
498
00:21:46,938 --> 00:21:48,092
- No, Jared. Look...
- I'm Terry Gross.
499
00:21:48,180 --> 00:21:50,905
- Look, should we maybe talk about...
- My guest is
500
00:21:51,023 --> 00:21:52,609
a medical bioethicist
who learned
501
00:21:52,697 --> 00:21:55,421
about opioid dependence
the hard way.
502
00:21:55,509 --> 00:21:56,570
In twenty fifth...
503
00:21:56,658 --> 00:21:59,349
You know, I really ought
to consult with my wife
504
00:21:59,437 --> 00:22:02,037
before I make such
a big financial decision.
505
00:22:03,390 --> 00:22:06,531
You're really gonna let
a woman tell you what to do?
506
00:22:10,390 --> 00:22:11,710
Over here!
507
00:22:16,038 --> 00:22:17,940
Oh, thank you.
508
00:22:18,124 --> 00:22:19,843
Almost done here.
509
00:22:20,499 --> 00:22:21,921
Gavin's just
starting the run.
510
00:22:22,009 --> 00:22:24,109
His blood O2 is dog shit.
511
00:22:28,879 --> 00:22:30,937
- Plan J, sir?
- Plan J!
512
00:22:34,411 --> 00:22:35,874
Jay!
513
00:22:36,385 --> 00:22:38,468
You are my spitting image.
514
00:22:38,954 --> 00:22:40,976
I'll meet you a quarter
mile from the finish line.
515
00:22:41,111 --> 00:22:42,632
Go, go, go, go, go!
516
00:22:48,286 --> 00:22:49,820
I still got it, Hoover.
517
00:22:50,205 --> 00:22:51,600
I know you do, sir.
518
00:22:51,718 --> 00:22:53,382
As long as Jay
doesn't fuck up,
519
00:22:53,662 --> 00:22:55,700
I'm gonna beat
my personal record.
520
00:22:55,788 --> 00:22:57,495
Let's see,
we started at 10:00,
521
00:22:57,601 --> 00:22:59,268
and now it's...
522
00:23:00,771 --> 00:23:02,453
I gave Jay my watch.
523
00:23:06,583 --> 00:23:08,291
The fuck?!
524
00:23:08,782 --> 00:23:11,450
Turn around!
Turn around, Hoover!
525
00:23:11,538 --> 00:23:12,578
Yes, sir.
526
00:23:12,662 --> 00:23:14,286
Mother fuck!
527
00:23:14,370 --> 00:23:17,247
So, you've got them
all signed, have you?
528
00:23:17,335 --> 00:23:18,812
Yeah.
And you can just, uh,
529
00:23:18,900 --> 00:23:20,411
countersign all that,
and-and,
530
00:23:20,499 --> 00:23:22,379
your form to sign
is at the end there.
531
00:23:22,467 --> 00:23:24,203
Do that, and we'll
be out of your way.
532
00:23:32,288 --> 00:23:33,687
Fresca.
533
00:23:43,250 --> 00:23:44,679
Ah.
534
00:23:48,724 --> 00:23:50,523
Let's have a look-see, huh?
535
00:23:53,378 --> 00:23:56,257
"To whom it may...
536
00:23:57,466 --> 00:23:58,907
concern."
537
00:23:59,335 --> 00:24:01,411
Okay, and actually,
the signature page...
538
00:24:01,495 --> 00:24:04,120
- I've done these things before!
- Yep.
539
00:24:04,335 --> 00:24:05,912
No, I know.
I know.
540
00:24:05,995 --> 00:24:08,079
What do you mean
not to be disturbed?
541
00:24:08,161 --> 00:24:09,945
I just got a million
texts that he's about
542
00:24:10,033 --> 00:24:11,992
to sign away
my whole fucking company!
543
00:24:12,328 --> 00:24:15,617
It's Gavin fucking Belson,
you clattering magpie!
544
00:24:17,362 --> 00:24:18,388
Hello?
545
00:24:18,476 --> 00:24:19,656
Fuck!
546
00:24:19,829 --> 00:24:21,703
We need to get
to Lex's. Now!
547
00:24:21,890 --> 00:24:23,662
All right. Seven down,
548
00:24:23,929 --> 00:24:25,038
one to go!
549
00:24:25,126 --> 00:24:27,003
Yep. Yeah,
just finish signing
550
00:24:27,091 --> 00:24:28,341
that form there,
and we will...
551
00:24:28,453 --> 00:24:30,453
Stop! Lex, stop!
552
00:24:30,585 --> 00:24:31,796
Gavin?
553
00:24:33,370 --> 00:24:35,411
- Huh?
- I thought he was in the race.
554
00:24:35,495 --> 00:24:37,037
- Gavin.
- Yeah, he is.
555
00:24:37,202 --> 00:24:39,819
Looks like he's waiting about
a mile from the finish line.
556
00:24:40,569 --> 00:24:41,592
Oh.
557
00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:44,847
You are a sneaky little
gladiator, aren't you, Richard?
558
00:24:44,935 --> 00:24:47,195
But the Hooli charter,
which I wrote,
559
00:24:47,359 --> 00:24:49,507
gives me the right
to block this transaction.
560
00:24:49,620 --> 00:24:51,943
Uh, no. It doesn't.
561
00:24:52,031 --> 00:24:53,406
Yeah, that's right.
You, uh,
562
00:24:53,494 --> 00:24:55,912
you had two hours,
which lapsed...
563
00:24:55,995 --> 00:24:57,572
Seven minutes ago.
564
00:24:59,445 --> 00:25:01,478
I'm afraid they're right.
565
00:25:01,566 --> 00:25:02,884
Shit.
566
00:25:02,972 --> 00:25:05,055
Okay, fine!
I can't block it!
567
00:25:05,314 --> 00:25:08,328
But come on, Lex!
We have a history together!
568
00:25:08,411 --> 00:25:10,662
You wrote the very
first check to Hooli.
569
00:25:10,745 --> 00:25:12,806
You're not gonna turn
your back on 30 years
570
00:25:12,894 --> 00:25:14,556
of making money
together, are you?
571
00:25:14,644 --> 00:25:17,517
I know we're not in the
strongest position right now,
572
00:25:17,644 --> 00:25:20,073
but I will fight my way back,
that's what I do.
573
00:25:20,161 --> 00:25:23,319
I-I kick and I scrap
and I-I play dirty.
574
00:25:23,407 --> 00:25:25,370
Anything to win!
I-I-I could've
575
00:25:25,453 --> 00:25:28,569
bailed Richard out,
but I didn't! I fucked him!
576
00:25:28,657 --> 00:25:30,203
And then,
I fucked over...
577
00:25:30,286 --> 00:25:31,662
"world poker tour" there!
578
00:25:31,822 --> 00:25:33,898
Just for the spite of it,
just because I could!
579
00:25:33,986 --> 00:25:35,995
Look, forget all
the bullshit about
580
00:25:36,142 --> 00:25:37,640
making the world
a better place.
581
00:25:37,728 --> 00:25:40,370
The most valuable
companies in this valley
582
00:25:40,556 --> 00:25:43,944
were built and run
by-by savages,
583
00:25:44,032 --> 00:25:47,040
who cheat to win.
Zuckerberg, and Jobs,
584
00:25:47,157 --> 00:25:49,431
and me, Gavin Belson.
585
00:25:49,519 --> 00:25:53,697
So please, Lex,
put the pen down.
586
00:25:54,286 --> 00:25:56,304
Leave your money
where it is.
587
00:25:56,392 --> 00:25:57,486
If this is a competition
588
00:25:57,574 --> 00:26:00,430
to find out who
the shittier person is,
589
00:26:00,620 --> 00:26:03,072
I'm not sure it's something
that I can add to.
590
00:26:03,895 --> 00:26:05,281
I can.
591
00:26:06,766 --> 00:26:09,048
- Dinesh?
- This must be said.
592
00:26:10,115 --> 00:26:12,687
Gavin, you think you're
the most spiteful guy in town,
593
00:26:12,775 --> 00:26:15,286
but you're not even the most
spiteful guy in this room.
594
00:26:15,525 --> 00:26:17,079
The truth is...
595
00:26:17,355 --> 00:26:19,021
I'm a bad person.
596
00:26:19,540 --> 00:26:21,697
How do you think we got
the money for this deal?
597
00:26:21,870 --> 00:26:24,537
I lied to my cousin's face.
598
00:26:24,775 --> 00:26:28,314
He is going to lose
$40 million, give or take,
599
00:26:28,402 --> 00:26:31,476
plus his estate
in Hawaii... I hope.
600
00:26:31,628 --> 00:26:34,523
See?! I suck!
601
00:26:34,644 --> 00:26:36,419
Did you know that instead
of breaking up with a girl
602
00:26:36,507 --> 00:26:39,245
that scared me, I called
the FBI and sent her to prison?
603
00:26:39,452 --> 00:26:41,611
- The Teslas.
- Right.
604
00:26:42,059 --> 00:26:43,476
I pressured
my direct reports
605
00:26:43,564 --> 00:26:45,208
to buy Teslas that
they could not afford
606
00:26:45,296 --> 00:26:48,039
because I wanted better
wheels than a guy named Danny.
607
00:26:48,466 --> 00:26:50,257
And I was eight years old,
608
00:26:50,742 --> 00:26:52,310
I stole my friend
Ali's jump rope
609
00:26:52,398 --> 00:26:55,537
and tied it to the back
of a truck that drove away,
610
00:26:55,718 --> 00:26:58,203
and then I told him I had
no idea what happened to it.
611
00:26:58,328 --> 00:26:59,912
And when he cried
himself to sleep,
612
00:26:59,995 --> 00:27:02,146
I ate his British
candy and told him
613
00:27:02,234 --> 00:27:03,787
God took it because
he hated him.
614
00:27:03,961 --> 00:27:05,703
- Jesus!
- So,
615
00:27:05,787 --> 00:27:07,310
if this decision is
going to come down
616
00:27:07,398 --> 00:27:10,052
to who is the most spiteful,
then, respectfully, sir...
617
00:27:10,140 --> 00:27:11,632
- Stop! Stop!
- I would argue...
618
00:27:11,720 --> 00:27:14,263
Just stop talking!
619
00:27:14,351 --> 00:27:17,037
I don't wanna be in business
with any of you people.
620
00:27:17,125 --> 00:27:19,578
I don't even wanna be
in the same room with you!
621
00:27:19,662 --> 00:27:22,620
I'm gonna sign this
and take my money out.
622
00:27:22,961 --> 00:27:25,429
Oop! Gonna miss my bus.
623
00:27:25,633 --> 00:27:26,746
Ugh...
624
00:27:26,834 --> 00:27:29,671
Excuse me. Excuse me.
625
00:27:29,759 --> 00:27:31,301
Excuse me.
626
00:27:32,859 --> 00:27:34,296
Think you won?
627
00:27:34,537 --> 00:27:36,328
Fuck you,
Richard Hendricks.
628
00:27:36,648 --> 00:27:39,031
The Valley is small
and the road is long.
629
00:27:39,187 --> 00:27:41,023
Just keep looking
over your shoulder.
630
00:27:42,491 --> 00:27:43,867
Gentlemen.
631
00:27:44,523 --> 00:27:46,203
And lady... Ow!
632
00:27:46,417 --> 00:27:48,476
Hoover! Help!
633
00:27:52,126 --> 00:27:53,710
Guys...
634
00:27:54,718 --> 00:27:55,870
Did we...
635
00:27:55,954 --> 00:27:57,875
Just buy Hooli?
636
00:27:58,455 --> 00:28:00,179
Yeah, we did.
637
00:28:00,476 --> 00:28:02,079
Holy shit.
638
00:28:03,632 --> 00:28:05,031
Feels pretty good!
639
00:28:06,056 --> 00:28:08,234
Wajeed is gonna be
so pissed at me.
640
00:28:08,530 --> 00:28:10,155
And mom's
gonna kill me.
641
00:28:10,995 --> 00:28:13,453
So, I guess, uh, everyone
got what they want.
642
00:28:14,471 --> 00:28:16,773
Well, actually, uh, Jared.
643
00:28:17,541 --> 00:28:18,708
Hey, uh...
644
00:28:18,796 --> 00:28:21,000
I just wanna say, like...
645
00:28:21,370 --> 00:28:24,411
I'm really sorry
about everything,
646
00:28:24,495 --> 00:28:27,046
and, uh, well,
647
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:30,032
of course, I'd be happy
648
00:28:30,120 --> 00:28:32,787
to give you and Gwart
your company back.
649
00:28:32,870 --> 00:28:35,620
That's obvious.
And also, if you...
650
00:28:35,703 --> 00:28:37,742
needed office space,
651
00:28:37,995 --> 00:28:40,734
we'd be happy
to have you. Um...
652
00:28:41,416 --> 00:28:44,281
I guess, I don't know,
I just... I miss you, man.
653
00:28:45,573 --> 00:28:47,156
Whatever, I don't care.
654
00:28:51,007 --> 00:28:52,317
Jesus.
655
00:28:52,405 --> 00:28:54,429
Yeah, it's sort
of his thing.
656
00:28:55,789 --> 00:28:56,974
All right,
657
00:28:57,062 --> 00:28:58,880
well, everybody's
gathered out there,
658
00:28:58,968 --> 00:29:01,779
- so you should probably say something.
- Okay.
659
00:29:01,867 --> 00:29:04,513
Be gracious and don't
expect too much.
660
00:29:04,601 --> 00:29:06,044
What are you talking
about? I mean,
661
00:29:06,132 --> 00:29:08,912
won't they be happy?
I freed them from Gavin.
662
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:11,304
I mean, that's one
way of looking at it.
663
00:29:11,495 --> 00:29:13,498
Or, your company just
swallowed theirs,
664
00:29:13,586 --> 00:29:15,882
and you fired their
founder and CEO.
665
00:29:16,120 --> 00:29:18,245
They're probably a little
freaked out. They wanna know
666
00:29:18,333 --> 00:29:20,015
that they're gonna
keep their jobs.
667
00:29:20,171 --> 00:29:22,329
But we don't
know if they will.
668
00:29:23,007 --> 00:29:24,673
- Right.
- Yeah.
669
00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:27,953
Well, you'll think of
something. Just be yours...
670
00:29:28,887 --> 00:29:31,578
- Keep it short. Keep it short.
- Yeah.
671
00:29:31,668 --> 00:29:34,953
Okay...
Okay.
672
00:29:35,041 --> 00:29:36,449
♪ Comin' through today ♪
673
00:29:36,537 --> 00:29:37,912
♪ Welcome to Terrordome ♪
674
00:29:37,995 --> 00:29:40,335
♪ I'm your host, the friendly
neighborhood baritone ♪
675
00:29:40,423 --> 00:29:42,397
♪ Vocals channel
the spirits of old poets ♪
676
00:29:42,485 --> 00:29:45,194
♪ I don't drink, my glass
never behold Moet ♪
677
00:29:45,282 --> 00:29:47,155
♪ Similar to
Paul Laurence Dunbar ♪
678
00:29:47,243 --> 00:29:49,819
♪ From the crew you thought was
just all chorus and one star ♪
679
00:29:49,907 --> 00:29:52,149
♪ Now, I'm one-sixth of
a clique that runs shit ♪
680
00:29:52,237 --> 00:29:54,618
♪ While commercial counterparts
are in constant conflict ♪
681
00:29:54,681 --> 00:29:56,264
♪ I'm coming through today ♪
682
00:29:56,352 --> 00:29:58,547
♪ A lot of details,
on my body be scales ♪
683
00:29:58,639 --> 00:29:59,899
♪ I'm from Ida B. Wells ♪
684
00:29:59,987 --> 00:30:02,085
♪ People see me feeling
good times since like 11 ♪
685
00:30:02,173 --> 00:30:05,056
♪ With a really deep militant
mind like Michael Evans ♪
686
00:30:05,180 --> 00:30:07,805
♪ Every posse recline,
watch me get applause ♪
687
00:30:07,889 --> 00:30:10,181
♪ Forming reservoirs
on your desert shores ♪
688
00:30:10,263 --> 00:30:12,506
♪ Your witnessing mental
and verbal fitness friend ♪
689
00:30:12,594 --> 00:30:14,462
♪ Tuna fish that descended
from Lake Michigan ♪
690
00:30:14,550 --> 00:30:16,241
- ♪ Hey, wait a minute, fish ♪
- ♪ What? ♪
691
00:30:16,329 --> 00:30:18,460
♪ Who are you? ♪
692
00:30:18,548 --> 00:30:19,673
♪ I'm Charlie 2na ♪
693
00:30:19,761 --> 00:30:22,094
- ♪ Coming through today ♪
- ♪ Competition listen ♪
694
00:30:22,204 --> 00:30:23,806
♪ You got work to do... ♪
695
00:30:36,931 --> 00:30:38,546
♪ ...Coming straight
from Chi' ♪
696
00:30:38,649 --> 00:30:42,079
♪ All day when I say that
I'm much more than just... ♪
697
00:30:47,597 --> 00:30:50,881
This is a video
called Maximizing Alphaness.
698
00:30:50,969 --> 00:30:53,321
You just gotta
subconsciously absorb it.
699
00:30:53,409 --> 00:30:55,660
This is the dumbest thing
I've ever seen.
700
00:30:55,748 --> 00:30:56,748
Fuck yeah.
701
00:30:56,843 --> 00:30:59,155
It turns out my real parents
are alive.
702
00:30:59,243 --> 00:31:01,931
So you gave me up to simplify
your first class air travel?
703
00:31:02,019 --> 00:31:05,185
That's a clear row across.
A, B, C, and D.
704
00:31:05,320 --> 00:31:08,608
Do we think this photo
of Richard is funny?
705
00:31:08,696 --> 00:31:11,542
He was acting like your boss.
You need to assert dominance.
706
00:31:13,126 --> 00:31:14,384
Ah!
707
00:31:14,472 --> 00:31:18,056
It's complicated. You're
the only one who got hurt.
708
00:31:18,190 --> 00:31:19,710
Sync Corrections by srjanapala