1 00:00:00,850 --> 00:00:01,599 Richard... 2 00:00:02,058 --> 00:00:04,808 do you think if I asked, they would let me visit her? 3 00:00:04,891 --> 00:00:06,392 RICHARD HENDRICKS: Jared, she's gonna be okay. 4 00:00:06,808 --> 00:00:07,891 I promise. 5 00:00:09,433 --> 00:00:11,267 (DRILL WHIRRING) 6 00:00:11,558 --> 00:00:12,850 ♪ (HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 7 00:00:12,933 --> 00:00:13,933 GAVIN BELSON: That brilliant little idiot. 8 00:00:14,016 --> 00:00:15,183 He found a way around the patent! 9 00:00:15,267 --> 00:00:16,183 It's Hendrick's internet, 10 00:00:16,267 --> 00:00:17,267 but it's not Hendrick's internet! 11 00:00:17,641 --> 00:00:19,850 I will no longer be able to manufacture your boxes. 12 00:00:20,100 --> 00:00:22,308 You see, my company will be manufacturing 13 00:00:22,392 --> 00:00:25,808 a new device that will quickly render yours obsolete. 14 00:00:27,683 --> 00:00:30,183 Did you speak to Laurie about our Series B? 15 00:00:30,267 --> 00:00:32,516 -HENDRICKS: Sort of. -(LAURIE RETCHING) 16 00:00:32,599 --> 00:00:34,599 MONICA HALL: Nothing is personal with Laurie, all right? 17 00:00:34,683 --> 00:00:36,558 It's what makes her such a great VC. 18 00:00:36,641 --> 00:00:39,142 A term sheet for your Series B. 19 00:00:39,225 --> 00:00:40,641 Congratulations, Richard. 20 00:00:40,933 --> 00:00:42,016 Thank you. 21 00:00:51,183 --> 00:00:53,516 Richard: Wow. That is one expensive bottle. 22 00:00:53,599 --> 00:00:54,724 You guys deserve the best 23 00:00:54,808 --> 00:00:56,183 bottle of champagne they have. 24 00:00:56,267 --> 00:00:58,641 Yeah, all champagne tastes the same to me, so. 25 00:00:58,724 --> 00:01:00,142 I agree, I mean, what's the difference 26 00:01:00,225 --> 00:01:02,516 between good champagne and bad champagne? 27 00:01:02,599 --> 00:01:04,100 About $500. 28 00:01:04,183 --> 00:01:05,724 Guys, come on. Enjoy it. 29 00:01:05,808 --> 00:01:08,350 You're about to close a $30 million series B. 30 00:01:08,433 --> 00:01:10,142 And you don't have to sell any ads 31 00:01:10,225 --> 00:01:11,433 or harvest user data, 32 00:01:11,516 --> 00:01:13,100 which for any other VC in town 33 00:01:13,183 --> 00:01:14,433 would've been a non-starter. 34 00:01:14,516 --> 00:01:17,100 Frankly, I'm surprised that Laurie went for it. 35 00:01:17,183 --> 00:01:18,641 Well, I'm not wild about the idea 36 00:01:18,724 --> 00:01:20,474 of her having two more board seats. 37 00:01:20,558 --> 00:01:23,641 I mean, she did kill Fiona right in front of us. 38 00:01:23,724 --> 00:01:25,766 Listen, don't worry about Laurie, okay? 39 00:01:25,850 --> 00:01:27,225 I'm gonna be your point person on this. 40 00:01:27,308 --> 00:01:29,724 She's got her plate full. She's raising money to recover 41 00:01:29,808 --> 00:01:31,267 from the whole Eklow debacle. 42 00:01:31,350 --> 00:01:32,308 Okay. 43 00:01:32,392 --> 00:01:34,308 So... to you guys. 44 00:01:34,392 --> 00:01:35,891 All right. 45 00:01:35,975 --> 00:01:37,100 Cheers. Cheers. 46 00:01:37,183 --> 00:01:38,183 Richard: Yup, thanks. 47 00:01:43,142 --> 00:01:44,975 All right. I have a dinner meeting 48 00:01:45,058 --> 00:01:46,808 and I kind of feel like a fifth wheel, 49 00:01:46,891 --> 00:01:49,975 so I'm gonna pick up the check, leave you to celebrate. 50 00:01:50,058 --> 00:01:51,100 Congrats again, guys. 51 00:01:51,183 --> 00:01:52,225 Okay. 52 00:01:52,308 --> 00:01:53,392 Jared: Bye. 53 00:01:57,766 --> 00:02:00,142 Well, the only person we don't spend 54 00:02:00,225 --> 00:02:02,183 20 hours a day with just left. 55 00:02:03,350 --> 00:02:04,350 So. 56 00:02:05,225 --> 00:02:06,766 What's new with you guys? 57 00:02:09,016 --> 00:02:12,558 Well, I'm thinking of buying some new bookkeeping software. 58 00:02:12,641 --> 00:02:15,142 All right. I think the only actual way to celebrate 59 00:02:15,225 --> 00:02:17,558 is to spend one waking minute apart, so. 60 00:02:17,641 --> 00:02:18,683 I'm gonna go. 61 00:02:18,766 --> 00:02:20,599 Are you going home? Let's-- let's share an Uber. 62 00:02:20,683 --> 00:02:22,016 Oh, well, if you're going that direction, 63 00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:23,516 I'm-- I'm driving, so I could drop you. 64 00:02:23,599 --> 00:02:24,850 Dinesh: Hey, Gilfoyle. Wanna play Fortnite? 65 00:02:24,933 --> 00:02:26,850 Oh, hold on, I didn't know we were playing Fortnite. 66 00:02:26,933 --> 00:02:28,350 Yeah, I'll come along. 67 00:02:28,433 --> 00:02:31,433 (theme music plays) 68 00:02:39,766 --> 00:02:41,558 ♪ ♪ 69 00:02:43,933 --> 00:02:46,599 I would've taken that plate to the sink for you. 70 00:02:46,683 --> 00:02:48,975 Uh, it's okay. I just finished, so. 71 00:02:49,058 --> 00:02:51,142 How was the sandwich I made you? Was it good? 72 00:02:51,225 --> 00:02:52,683 Good condiment blend? 73 00:02:52,766 --> 00:02:54,225 Yeah. It was perfect, thanks. 74 00:02:54,308 --> 00:02:55,433 Richard. 75 00:02:55,516 --> 00:02:57,142 This might be out of line, but... 76 00:02:57,225 --> 00:03:00,308 would you mind telling Jared how much you enjoyed the sandwich? 77 00:03:00,392 --> 00:03:02,100 I'm finding him a little intimidating. 78 00:03:02,183 --> 00:03:05,183 Sure, yeah. Look, I know he can be a little eccentric. 79 00:03:05,267 --> 00:03:06,933 I tend to hold my breath around him. 80 00:03:07,016 --> 00:03:08,641 It's exacerbating my asthma. 81 00:03:08,724 --> 00:03:10,766 Ooh, okay... 82 00:03:10,850 --> 00:03:12,766 Richard, do you have a moment? 83 00:03:16,142 --> 00:03:20,933 You know what? Holden just made me a really good sandwich. 84 00:03:21,016 --> 00:03:23,433 Oh, well, that's nice. 85 00:03:23,516 --> 00:03:25,142 Yeah. Yep. 86 00:03:25,225 --> 00:03:26,308 (clears throat) 87 00:03:27,850 --> 00:03:30,933 Did he ask you to mention that to me? 88 00:03:31,975 --> 00:03:33,933 What? No. 89 00:03:34,016 --> 00:03:36,433 Okay. No, he's-- he's just great. 90 00:03:37,891 --> 00:03:40,100 Well, "In doing what we ought, we deserve no praise 91 00:03:40,183 --> 00:03:41,808 because it is our duty." 92 00:03:41,891 --> 00:03:43,724 St. Augustine. 93 00:03:43,808 --> 00:03:45,016 So, um... 94 00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:46,933 I've been keeping track of the compute credits 95 00:03:47,016 --> 00:03:48,183 that you gave to Laurie. 96 00:03:48,267 --> 00:03:50,016 And she sold them to Gigglybots 97 00:03:50,100 --> 00:03:52,516 and then Gigglybots sold them to SmashHub. 98 00:03:52,599 --> 00:03:54,308 And they traded hands a few more times, 99 00:03:54,392 --> 00:03:56,599 the price increasing each time until they were 100 00:03:56,683 --> 00:03:59,142 bought by a venture fund in Mountain View. 101 00:03:59,225 --> 00:04:01,683 Okay, uh, so if we wanted to buy them back, 102 00:04:01,766 --> 00:04:03,100 how much would it cost us? 103 00:04:03,183 --> 00:04:05,599 It's $1.6 million. 104 00:04:05,683 --> 00:04:07,392 What? The fuck? 105 00:04:10,516 --> 00:04:12,016 More like that? Yeah. 106 00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:13,641 Danny: So Dinesh, is it true? 107 00:04:13,724 --> 00:04:14,766 Is series B happening? 108 00:04:14,850 --> 00:04:15,933 We all heard it's happening. 109 00:04:16,016 --> 00:04:18,350 Oh, guys, please, you know I can't talk to you 110 00:04:18,433 --> 00:04:19,933 about upper level management stuff. 111 00:04:20,016 --> 00:04:22,100 It's totally happening. Look at his face. 112 00:04:22,183 --> 00:04:23,267 He has the worst poker face. 113 00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:25,433 No. Don't-- don't look at my face. 114 00:04:25,516 --> 00:04:26,433 This is great news. 115 00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:28,558 We're all getting big, fat bonuses. 116 00:04:28,641 --> 00:04:31,267 I was a little worried I made a mistake ordering that Tesla. 117 00:04:31,350 --> 00:04:33,558 Sorry, Tesla? What Tesla? 118 00:04:33,641 --> 00:04:35,599 Model S. Same as yours. 119 00:04:35,683 --> 00:04:39,016 I mean, not exactly the same. I ordered the P100D. 120 00:04:39,100 --> 00:04:39,975 Newer model. 121 00:04:40,058 --> 00:04:41,267 It's got longer battery life-- 122 00:04:41,350 --> 00:04:43,058 You know what? This is a workplace. 123 00:04:43,142 --> 00:04:45,558 This is not a fucking slumber party, gabbing, gabbing. 124 00:04:45,641 --> 00:04:47,474 And series B is not a done deal. 125 00:04:47,558 --> 00:04:50,142 Despite what my face says, okay? 126 00:04:50,225 --> 00:04:51,183 Don't trust this face. 127 00:04:51,267 --> 00:04:53,225 No one should ever trust this face. 128 00:04:54,350 --> 00:04:56,058 Congrats on the Tesla, Danny. 129 00:04:56,142 --> 00:04:57,558 So excited for you. 130 00:04:59,225 --> 00:05:00,891 Series B, baby! 131 00:05:00,975 --> 00:05:02,225 Fuck Danny. 132 00:05:02,308 --> 00:05:03,808 I mean, I love my Tesla. 133 00:05:03,891 --> 00:05:04,975 It has Insane Mode, 134 00:05:05,058 --> 00:05:08,641 which means it goes zero to 60 in 3.2 seconds, 135 00:05:08,724 --> 00:05:10,392 which is literally insane. 136 00:05:10,474 --> 00:05:14,058 But the Tesla that Danny ordered has Ludicrous Mode, 137 00:05:14,142 --> 00:05:17,599 which means it goes zero to 60 in 2.8 seconds. 138 00:05:17,683 --> 00:05:22,766 So it's gonna take me an entire 0.4 seconds longer to get to 60. 139 00:05:22,850 --> 00:05:24,683 I mean, how would you feel if one of your neighbors 140 00:05:24,766 --> 00:05:26,558 got a tiki head bigger than yours? 141 00:05:27,433 --> 00:05:29,933 Oh, well, when we bought it, 142 00:05:30,016 --> 00:05:31,975 we made sure it was the biggest one they made, so. 143 00:05:32,058 --> 00:05:35,850 You're the biggest tiki head guy in the neighborhood. 144 00:05:35,933 --> 00:05:38,183 I used to be the Tesla guy in the office. 145 00:05:38,267 --> 00:05:41,183 I maxed out my credit cards to be able to afford that thing. 146 00:05:41,267 --> 00:05:42,516 And now that we're getting series B, 147 00:05:42,599 --> 00:05:45,808 any one of these bourgeois new money millennial fucks 148 00:05:45,891 --> 00:05:47,474 can just go out and buy one. 149 00:05:47,558 --> 00:05:49,183 I don't wanna sound selfish, 150 00:05:49,267 --> 00:05:53,975 but sometimes I wish only I made money. You know? 151 00:05:54,058 --> 00:05:55,100 What are we talking about, here? 152 00:05:55,183 --> 00:05:57,558 You want us to launch a cryptocurrency? 153 00:05:57,641 --> 00:05:58,808 I do. 154 00:05:58,891 --> 00:06:00,891 The fact that people are willing to pay many multiples more 155 00:06:00,975 --> 00:06:02,891 for our compute credits than they're worth, 156 00:06:02,975 --> 00:06:04,891 we have an opportunity here. 157 00:06:04,975 --> 00:06:06,350 Worth is relative, Richard. 158 00:06:06,433 --> 00:06:07,558 What do you mean? 159 00:06:07,641 --> 00:06:09,392 Why do people covet 160 00:06:09,474 --> 00:06:13,016 the silly pieces of green cotton paper in their wallets? 161 00:06:13,100 --> 00:06:15,724 It's because we are all sheep. 162 00:06:15,808 --> 00:06:18,724 And we've mutually agreed to endow certain things 163 00:06:18,808 --> 00:06:20,058 with value. 164 00:06:20,142 --> 00:06:22,516 And right now, for some reason, 165 00:06:22,599 --> 00:06:25,975 the market values our credits more than we did. 166 00:06:26,058 --> 00:06:27,891 Gilfoyle, we're not gonna suddenly pivot 167 00:06:27,975 --> 00:06:29,724 and become a digital currency company. 168 00:06:29,808 --> 00:06:30,891 I'm not proposing a pivot. 169 00:06:30,975 --> 00:06:33,350 I'm proposing that we sell digital currency 170 00:06:33,433 --> 00:06:36,433 as a way to finance our new Internet company. 171 00:06:36,516 --> 00:06:39,975 You wanted an alternative to Laurie Bream. 172 00:06:40,058 --> 00:06:41,850 Well, it's right here in front of you. 173 00:06:41,933 --> 00:06:43,808 PiedPiperCoin. 174 00:06:43,891 --> 00:06:45,933 Okay, look, I... 175 00:06:46,016 --> 00:06:48,016 I'm not gonna bet the entire future 176 00:06:48,100 --> 00:06:51,142 of my new Internet and everything I've worked for 177 00:06:51,225 --> 00:06:53,308 on becoming the next Bitcoin. 178 00:06:53,392 --> 00:06:55,308 You really expect me to do that? 179 00:06:55,392 --> 00:06:59,599 There are very few things that I will defend with true passion: 180 00:06:59,683 --> 00:07:01,183 medical marijuana, 181 00:07:01,267 --> 00:07:05,808 the biblical Satan as a metaphor for rebellion against tyranny, 182 00:07:05,891 --> 00:07:08,933 and mother fucking Goddamn cryptocurrency. 183 00:07:09,016 --> 00:07:10,558 Mmm. 184 00:07:10,641 --> 00:07:14,350 I have a PowerPoint that I've been wanting to show you for some time. 185 00:07:15,474 --> 00:07:16,433 Gavin: Walk me through this. 186 00:07:16,516 --> 00:07:18,433 We can't make our boxes in China 187 00:07:18,516 --> 00:07:19,599 because Yao has threatened 188 00:07:19,683 --> 00:07:21,308 every manufacturer in the country. 189 00:07:21,392 --> 00:07:22,350 That's right. 190 00:07:22,433 --> 00:07:23,641 We can't afford Bangladesh, 191 00:07:23,724 --> 00:07:25,392 because the workers have unionized. 192 00:07:25,474 --> 00:07:27,308 Sadly, correct. 193 00:07:27,392 --> 00:07:28,975 And we can't use our place in Laos, 194 00:07:29,058 --> 00:07:31,766 because one person gets her scalp ripped off 195 00:07:31,850 --> 00:07:34,641 and suddenly, everyone's screaming regulations. 196 00:07:34,724 --> 00:07:35,599 Yes. 197 00:07:35,683 --> 00:07:37,058 You know, you hear a lot of chatter 198 00:07:37,142 --> 00:07:38,975 about the growth of the global economy, 199 00:07:39,058 --> 00:07:40,891 but no one wants to talk about the downside. 200 00:07:40,975 --> 00:07:44,975 Gavin, there is one other manufacturing option we haven't discussed yet, 201 00:07:45,058 --> 00:07:47,433 which considering the current circumstances, 202 00:07:47,516 --> 00:07:49,392 might be worth consideration. 203 00:07:49,474 --> 00:07:51,850 I'm open to anything. 204 00:07:53,058 --> 00:07:54,016 America. 205 00:07:54,100 --> 00:07:55,516 Fuck you. 206 00:07:55,599 --> 00:07:57,267 I feel the same way. 207 00:07:57,350 --> 00:07:58,850 But we were recently contacted 208 00:07:58,933 --> 00:08:01,100 by the mayor of Goldbriar, North Carolina. 209 00:08:01,183 --> 00:08:03,516 They had a DVR manufacturing plant that closed. 210 00:08:03,599 --> 00:08:05,308 The retooling would be minimal. 211 00:08:05,392 --> 00:08:06,683 Scott: They've got a skilled labor pool 212 00:08:06,766 --> 00:08:09,350 just sitting idle and they sound desperate. 213 00:08:09,433 --> 00:08:11,142 Really? 214 00:08:11,225 --> 00:08:12,183 How desperate? 215 00:08:12,267 --> 00:08:13,474 It was pitiful. 216 00:08:13,558 --> 00:08:14,766 Really? 217 00:08:15,766 --> 00:08:18,850 In 350 BCE, 218 00:08:18,933 --> 00:08:22,392 Aristotle defined sound money as being 219 00:08:22,474 --> 00:08:23,891 durable, transferable, 220 00:08:23,975 --> 00:08:26,308 divisible, scarce, recognizable.... 221 00:08:26,392 --> 00:08:28,016 Gilfoyle? and fungible. 222 00:08:28,100 --> 00:08:29,016 What? 223 00:08:29,100 --> 00:08:31,350 Can we skip ahead 2,400 years? 224 00:08:31,433 --> 00:08:34,016 I mean, I know what cryptocurrency is. 225 00:08:34,100 --> 00:08:36,766 Richard, a lot of work went into this presentation. 226 00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,599 Okay. Fine. 227 00:08:40,267 --> 00:08:43,183 But you're missing out on a lot of wisdom, here. 228 00:08:45,433 --> 00:08:47,392 Why don't you tell me what you know 229 00:08:47,474 --> 00:08:49,891 about Bitcoin as a jumping-off point? 230 00:08:49,975 --> 00:08:51,392 Okay, sure. 231 00:08:51,474 --> 00:08:54,808 Uh, well, I'm pretty sure it was founded by a Japanese guy... 232 00:08:54,891 --> 00:08:56,433 Or guys, or girls, 233 00:08:56,516 --> 00:08:59,850 going by the name Satoshi Nakamoto in 2008. 234 00:08:59,933 --> 00:09:01,225 True identity still unknown. 235 00:09:01,308 --> 00:09:03,724 Okay, look, every day I read an article 236 00:09:03,808 --> 00:09:06,058 about how we're in a Bitcoin bubble. 237 00:09:06,142 --> 00:09:08,392 And who is writing those articles? 238 00:09:08,474 --> 00:09:10,183 I don't wanna say the establishment. 239 00:09:10,267 --> 00:09:12,558 But is it possible that Warren Buffett 240 00:09:12,641 --> 00:09:15,142 called Bitcoin a pyramid scheme 241 00:09:15,225 --> 00:09:18,975 because he has 92 billion conventional dollars to protect? 242 00:09:19,058 --> 00:09:22,308 Let's say he's right. Let's say Bitcoin dies. 243 00:09:22,392 --> 00:09:25,433 So what? MySpace, Friendster, they both died. 244 00:09:25,516 --> 00:09:28,183 But they paved the way for other social media tripe 245 00:09:28,267 --> 00:09:30,016 like Facebook and Twitter 246 00:09:30,100 --> 00:09:32,558 to completely overrun the planet. 247 00:09:33,641 --> 00:09:35,975 Crypto is out there. 248 00:09:36,058 --> 00:09:37,641 And it's not going away. 249 00:09:37,724 --> 00:09:39,933 It just feels sketchy. 250 00:09:40,016 --> 00:09:44,724 In the same way that a new Internet is sketchy, Richard? 251 00:09:44,808 --> 00:09:46,808 Well-- What is crypto? 252 00:09:46,891 --> 00:09:49,933 If not decentralized, anonymous, secure, 253 00:09:50,016 --> 00:09:53,142 and an existential threat to the powers that be? 254 00:09:53,225 --> 00:09:55,433 I would think that you'd be all-in on something like that. 255 00:09:55,516 --> 00:09:59,016 Yeah. But do you really think we can create a currency 256 00:09:59,100 --> 00:10:00,516 worth $30 million? 257 00:10:00,599 --> 00:10:02,100 Because that's what we'd be giving up. 258 00:10:02,183 --> 00:10:04,933 Maybe. Probably even more. 259 00:10:05,016 --> 00:10:06,558 But even if it's less, 260 00:10:07,474 --> 00:10:10,641 we would still gain control, autonomy, 261 00:10:10,724 --> 00:10:11,891 board seats and shares, 262 00:10:11,975 --> 00:10:15,975 and you wouldn't have to rely on a VC who once fired you 263 00:10:16,058 --> 00:10:17,724 from your own company. 264 00:10:20,016 --> 00:10:21,225 So, there is a mode 265 00:10:21,308 --> 00:10:23,683 above Ludicrous Mode. Am I correct? 266 00:10:23,766 --> 00:10:25,724 Yes. It's called Plaid. 267 00:10:25,808 --> 00:10:28,392 And it comes standard on the new Tesla Roadster. 268 00:10:28,474 --> 00:10:29,766 How do I get into one of these babies? 269 00:10:29,850 --> 00:10:33,433 Simple. You put down a $50,000 deposit today. 270 00:10:33,516 --> 00:10:34,975 Okay. 271 00:10:35,058 --> 00:10:36,558 And you'll be behind the wheel 272 00:10:36,641 --> 00:10:38,100 as soon as they become available. 273 00:10:38,183 --> 00:10:40,433 And how quickly will that be, Stephanie? 274 00:10:40,516 --> 00:10:42,683 Soon. We're thinking a few years, 275 00:10:42,766 --> 00:10:44,350 which goes by fast. 276 00:10:44,433 --> 00:10:46,308 My daughter was a teenager in high school. 277 00:10:46,392 --> 00:10:48,433 Next thing I knew... I'm gonna stop you right there. 278 00:10:48,516 --> 00:10:51,683 Your oily salesmanship is starting to really irritate me. 279 00:10:51,766 --> 00:10:52,850 Okay? 280 00:10:52,933 --> 00:10:55,350 I need to maintain my Tesla superiority, 281 00:10:55,433 --> 00:10:56,683 and I need to do it now. 282 00:10:56,766 --> 00:10:59,058 Okay, I'm looking at a new set of wheels here. 283 00:10:59,142 --> 00:11:00,683 The 21-inch Arachnids. 284 00:11:00,766 --> 00:11:03,724 Very nice. But they're not for sale. 285 00:11:03,808 --> 00:11:06,350 You can only get them through our referral awards program. 286 00:11:06,433 --> 00:11:08,183 You refer three other customers to us, 287 00:11:08,267 --> 00:11:12,016 they buy a vehicle and, zoop-zoop, you get the wheels. 288 00:11:12,100 --> 00:11:14,933 So, if I get more people to buy Teslas, 289 00:11:15,016 --> 00:11:18,641 then I will have the wheels and no one else can get them? 290 00:11:18,724 --> 00:11:19,683 Not even Danny? 291 00:11:19,766 --> 00:11:21,516 I'm sorry, who's Danny? 292 00:11:21,599 --> 00:11:23,516 He's the guy with the shitty wheels. 293 00:11:23,599 --> 00:11:26,850 Major Wilkins: And now, the CEO of Hooli, 294 00:11:26,933 --> 00:11:28,558 Mr. Gavin Belson. 295 00:11:28,641 --> 00:11:30,641 (cheers and applause) 296 00:11:33,225 --> 00:11:34,933 Thank you, Mayor Wilkins. 297 00:11:35,016 --> 00:11:38,308 Thank you, Goldbriar, for this warm, wonderful welcome. 298 00:11:38,392 --> 00:11:40,183 You know, being in North Carolina 299 00:11:40,267 --> 00:11:43,058 always feels like a bit of a homecoming for me. 300 00:11:43,142 --> 00:11:47,350 I own a vacation property just off the coast in Bermuda. 301 00:11:47,433 --> 00:11:50,016 Technically, it is my primary legal residence. 302 00:11:52,683 --> 00:11:54,392 Good people of Goldbriar, 303 00:11:54,474 --> 00:11:56,724 for too long, foreign interests 304 00:11:56,808 --> 00:11:59,641 have used unfair trade and labor practices 305 00:11:59,724 --> 00:12:02,975 to plunder American wealth and steal American jobs. 306 00:12:03,058 --> 00:12:04,392 But I don't blame them for that. 307 00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:09,433 No. I blame weak, spineless American politicians. 308 00:12:09,516 --> 00:12:11,558 But if your mayor does his job, 309 00:12:11,641 --> 00:12:12,850 your jobs will come back, 310 00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:15,558 and soon, you will proudly be building 311 00:12:15,641 --> 00:12:18,933 the Gavin Belson Signature Box Three. 312 00:12:19,016 --> 00:12:21,058 (applause) But if for some reason 313 00:12:21,142 --> 00:12:25,016 he can't make my very reasonable proposal work, 314 00:12:25,100 --> 00:12:26,350 you know who to blame. 315 00:12:27,308 --> 00:12:29,474 I'm excited to get started. 316 00:12:29,558 --> 00:12:31,641 What about y'all? 317 00:12:31,724 --> 00:12:33,142 (cheers and applause) 318 00:12:33,225 --> 00:12:37,267 (marching band plays) 319 00:12:37,350 --> 00:12:40,850 ♪ ♪ 320 00:12:42,016 --> 00:12:43,225 (dramatic sting) 321 00:12:47,350 --> 00:12:49,516 ♪ ♪ 322 00:12:49,599 --> 00:12:50,891 (sighs) 323 00:12:52,933 --> 00:12:54,683 Jared: Hi, Holden. Oh. 324 00:12:54,766 --> 00:12:55,766 (dramatic sting) 325 00:12:56,766 --> 00:12:59,350 Jared. Hi. 326 00:12:59,433 --> 00:13:00,516 Hi. 327 00:13:01,516 --> 00:13:02,808 Can I ask you a question? 328 00:13:02,891 --> 00:13:04,350 Of course. 329 00:13:05,308 --> 00:13:07,308 Did you ask Richard to tell me 330 00:13:07,392 --> 00:13:10,850 that he liked the sandwich that you made for him? 331 00:13:11,933 --> 00:13:13,016 No. 332 00:13:17,599 --> 00:13:18,724 Is that the truth? 333 00:13:19,724 --> 00:13:20,766 Yes. 334 00:13:24,891 --> 00:13:26,058 Okay. 335 00:13:27,891 --> 00:13:28,891 Okay. 336 00:13:31,308 --> 00:13:32,724 Good job with that plate. 337 00:13:34,392 --> 00:13:35,433 Thanks. 338 00:13:44,225 --> 00:13:45,516 (inhales deeply) 339 00:13:45,599 --> 00:13:48,100 Dinesh: Now, I can see the looks on your faces. 340 00:13:48,183 --> 00:13:49,683 I know what you're thinking. 341 00:13:49,766 --> 00:13:53,183 Why does Dinesh care so much if I buy a Tesla? 342 00:13:53,267 --> 00:13:54,724 I'll tell you why. 343 00:13:54,808 --> 00:13:57,433 Because Teslas are good for the world. 344 00:13:57,516 --> 00:14:00,016 Surprisingly pedestrian wheels, but you get over that. 345 00:14:00,100 --> 00:14:01,683 So, come on. 346 00:14:01,766 --> 00:14:03,683 Series B, right? Cha-ching. 347 00:14:03,766 --> 00:14:05,975 I was gonna use that to pay off my student loans. 348 00:14:06,058 --> 00:14:06,975 That's boring. 349 00:14:07,058 --> 00:14:08,558 And don't take this the wrong way, 350 00:14:08,641 --> 00:14:10,724 but it seems like it's very important 351 00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:13,433 for you to be the Tesla guy in the office. 352 00:14:13,516 --> 00:14:14,850 Like, weirdly important. 353 00:14:14,933 --> 00:14:17,766 I'm not weird, you're weird. You guys are being so weird. 354 00:14:17,850 --> 00:14:21,183 Come on. What's it gonna take to get you into a Tesla today? 355 00:14:21,267 --> 00:14:24,516 Here. I've printed out hundreds of these. 356 00:14:24,599 --> 00:14:26,891 There you go. There you go, pass these on. 357 00:14:26,975 --> 00:14:28,308 Dave? Dave? 358 00:14:29,599 --> 00:14:31,975 All right, what's this interesting idea? 359 00:14:32,058 --> 00:14:33,599 Gilfoyle and I were talking. 360 00:14:33,683 --> 00:14:37,641 And this may seem a little out there at first, but... 361 00:14:37,724 --> 00:14:41,683 Instead of funding our launch with a series B, 362 00:14:41,766 --> 00:14:42,933 what about... 363 00:14:43,933 --> 00:14:44,933 an ICO? 364 00:14:46,808 --> 00:14:49,308 An initial coin offering? It's basically a... 365 00:14:49,392 --> 00:14:51,267 Are you a fucking moron? 366 00:14:52,975 --> 00:14:55,058 Maybe I don't need to be here for this. 367 00:14:55,142 --> 00:14:56,433 Sit the fuck down. 368 00:14:56,516 --> 00:14:57,641 Okay. 369 00:14:58,558 --> 00:15:00,599 Richard, what are you doing? 370 00:15:00,683 --> 00:15:02,516 Just exploring our options. 371 00:15:02,599 --> 00:15:04,766 Why? You don't think I have your back? 372 00:15:04,850 --> 00:15:06,641 Look, I get that you're giving up 373 00:15:06,724 --> 00:15:07,850 board seats and shares, 374 00:15:07,933 --> 00:15:09,766 but look what you're getting in return. 375 00:15:09,850 --> 00:15:12,933 As if the $30 million you were getting wasn't good enough, 376 00:15:13,016 --> 00:15:15,433 we provide you with marketing, networking, staffing. 377 00:15:15,516 --> 00:15:17,392 We help you negotiate partnerships 378 00:15:17,474 --> 00:15:18,599 and navigate regulations. 379 00:15:18,683 --> 00:15:21,558 All these things that are changing by the minute. 380 00:15:21,641 --> 00:15:24,516 Gilfoyle, can you help with any of that? 381 00:15:24,599 --> 00:15:27,350 I'd rather just listen if it's all the same to you. 382 00:15:27,433 --> 00:15:29,599 Look, if you do an ICO, 383 00:15:29,683 --> 00:15:31,142 you're not only saying fuck you to us, 384 00:15:31,225 --> 00:15:32,599 you're saying fuck you to all VCs. 385 00:15:32,683 --> 00:15:34,016 Jesus, Richard. Why would you even 386 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,474 think it would be okay to talk to me about this? 387 00:15:36,558 --> 00:15:38,808 Like would you ask your wife who you should cheat with? 388 00:15:38,891 --> 00:15:40,350 No. 389 00:15:40,433 --> 00:15:41,392 Well, maybe. 390 00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:42,516 I don't know, I... 391 00:15:42,599 --> 00:15:45,474 I guess I was just looking for advice from a friend. 392 00:15:45,558 --> 00:15:47,558 Oh, are we friends, Richard? 393 00:15:47,641 --> 00:15:49,100 Yes, of course. Really? 394 00:15:49,183 --> 00:15:50,724 Have we spoken once in the past year 395 00:15:50,808 --> 00:15:52,933 about anything other than business? 396 00:15:53,016 --> 00:15:54,641 Yes. 397 00:15:54,724 --> 00:15:56,975 Wait. No. 398 00:15:57,058 --> 00:15:58,641 When's my birthday? Come on. 399 00:15:58,724 --> 00:16:00,558 Do I live in a house or an apartment? 400 00:16:02,100 --> 00:16:03,641 Did you even know that I was married? 401 00:16:03,724 --> 00:16:05,808 You are? I was, I... 402 00:16:05,891 --> 00:16:07,558 had it annulled after three months. 403 00:16:07,641 --> 00:16:09,683 Did he ask you who he should cheat with? 404 00:16:12,766 --> 00:16:15,308 Look, you came for advice, fine. 405 00:16:15,392 --> 00:16:16,766 Forget an ICO. 406 00:16:16,850 --> 00:16:18,058 Okay? I'm sure Gilfoyle 407 00:16:18,142 --> 00:16:20,474 told you that he can handle all the technical stuff. 408 00:16:20,558 --> 00:16:22,516 But this is not just a math problem. 409 00:16:22,599 --> 00:16:26,808 They're my direct competition. I've done my homework on this. 410 00:16:26,891 --> 00:16:28,724 So before you walk away from stability 411 00:16:28,808 --> 00:16:31,683 and gamble your entire company on crypto, 412 00:16:31,766 --> 00:16:33,433 there's another "friend" of yours 413 00:16:33,516 --> 00:16:34,599 I think you should talk to. 414 00:16:36,142 --> 00:16:39,183 I was such a fucking pussy when Bitcoin broke, Richard. 415 00:16:39,267 --> 00:16:40,683 If I had the balls, 416 00:16:40,766 --> 00:16:42,808 I'd have put every penny I had into that shit 417 00:16:42,891 --> 00:16:43,808 five years ago, 418 00:16:43,891 --> 00:16:45,225 watched it go up, up, up, up, up 419 00:16:45,308 --> 00:16:47,516 and then pulled out right before it all came crashing down again. 420 00:16:47,599 --> 00:16:49,433 I mean, Jesus, why didn't I do that? 421 00:16:49,516 --> 00:16:51,891 Fuck me! But then, it occurred to me-- 422 00:16:51,975 --> 00:16:54,850 I own 36 fucking companies, Richard. 423 00:16:54,933 --> 00:16:57,142 If I make them all ICO, 424 00:16:57,225 --> 00:16:59,766 that's 36 bites at the apple. 425 00:16:59,850 --> 00:17:00,891 So I did it. 426 00:17:00,975 --> 00:17:03,392 You... you did 36 ICOs? Yup. 427 00:17:03,474 --> 00:17:05,350 Did they work? You know, one of the things 428 00:17:05,433 --> 00:17:07,599 being in the three comma club has taught me, Richard, 429 00:17:07,683 --> 00:17:08,891 is it's not always about money. 430 00:17:08,975 --> 00:17:10,641 Sometimes, it's about wisdom. 431 00:17:10,724 --> 00:17:14,308 And did I lose a B? Close to it. Fuck! 432 00:17:14,392 --> 00:17:17,058 But I bet I gained two B in wisdom. 433 00:17:17,142 --> 00:17:18,808 So you lost it all? 434 00:17:20,142 --> 00:17:23,100 Ha, ha, Richard, if I didn't love this crazy guy so much, 435 00:17:23,183 --> 00:17:24,392 I'd knock his fucking teeth out. 436 00:17:24,474 --> 00:17:26,267 Nah, nah, I didn't lose it all. 437 00:17:26,350 --> 00:17:28,808 I mean, one of them got shut down by the SEC. 438 00:17:28,891 --> 00:17:30,599 On a few, we got scammed. 439 00:17:30,683 --> 00:17:31,975 But some of them worked. 440 00:17:33,433 --> 00:17:34,433 One of them worked. 441 00:17:34,516 --> 00:17:37,392 One? One out of 36? 442 00:17:37,474 --> 00:17:38,433 Yeah. Listen, 443 00:17:38,516 --> 00:17:40,891 all the coin I had from the ICO that worked 444 00:17:40,975 --> 00:17:42,433 was on a USB thumb drive. 445 00:17:42,516 --> 00:17:43,933 And my dumb fucking housekeeper 446 00:17:44,016 --> 00:17:45,433 threw out my jeans, 'cause they were ripped. 447 00:17:45,516 --> 00:17:46,933 Even though I paid more for the ripped ones. 448 00:17:47,016 --> 00:17:48,724 And the thumb drive was in the pocket, so. 449 00:17:48,808 --> 00:17:51,599 $300 million in crypto is buried out here, somewhere. 450 00:17:51,683 --> 00:17:53,100 But my boys will find it. 451 00:17:53,183 --> 00:17:54,975 If they wanna get paid, right? 452 00:17:56,016 --> 00:17:57,267 And when they do, 453 00:17:57,350 --> 00:17:59,100 that coin could cover all the losers. 454 00:17:59,183 --> 00:18:01,516 I mean, it's up 3,000% in the last two weeks. 455 00:18:01,599 --> 00:18:03,766 If it keeps going like this over the next three, four months, 456 00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:05,599 we could be talking the four comma club! 457 00:18:05,683 --> 00:18:07,308 That's a T, not a B, Richard. (man whistling) 458 00:18:07,392 --> 00:18:09,808 Mr. Hanneman! Shit, you found it? 459 00:18:09,891 --> 00:18:13,808 (laughs) Jose! Yes! No! 460 00:18:13,891 --> 00:18:15,392 I said a thumb drive. 461 00:18:15,474 --> 00:18:17,100 In the... that's an actual thumb. 462 00:18:17,183 --> 00:18:19,766 That's a human... Just fucking put that back! 463 00:18:19,850 --> 00:18:23,308 Again, Richard... 464 00:18:23,392 --> 00:18:24,641 the math is sound. 465 00:18:24,724 --> 00:18:28,183 ♪ ♪ 466 00:18:30,474 --> 00:18:33,016 Well, Mayor, I sure have enjoyed our time together. 467 00:18:33,100 --> 00:18:34,308 Let me know when you get this done. 468 00:18:34,392 --> 00:18:37,308 Uh, Mr. Belson, I'm sorry, but this list of demands 469 00:18:37,392 --> 00:18:40,142 is not remotely workable for a community of our size. 470 00:18:40,225 --> 00:18:42,516 A mayor's job is never easy. 471 00:18:42,599 --> 00:18:43,850 But you'll find a way, 472 00:18:43,933 --> 00:18:45,392 if you care about your constituents. 473 00:18:45,474 --> 00:18:47,392 Mr. Belson, I grew up in this town. 474 00:18:47,474 --> 00:18:48,808 I've lived here my entire life. 475 00:18:48,891 --> 00:18:50,850 I'd do anything to... Wait, wait, wait, wait. 476 00:18:50,933 --> 00:18:52,808 Your entire life? Mm-hmm. 477 00:18:52,891 --> 00:18:55,641 How old are you? Forty-seven. 478 00:18:55,724 --> 00:18:57,183 That's a little weird, isn't it? 479 00:18:57,267 --> 00:19:00,808 The point is, I'd do anything to help the people of this area. 480 00:19:00,891 --> 00:19:05,016 But giving you public money on this scale would decimate our budget. 481 00:19:05,100 --> 00:19:07,474 I could have the local high school renamed after you. 482 00:19:07,558 --> 00:19:09,850 Rosa Parks has never even been to Goldbriar. 483 00:19:09,933 --> 00:19:11,392 I don't want a fucking high school. 484 00:19:11,474 --> 00:19:14,599 I wanna manufacture boxes at an 80% profit margin. 485 00:19:14,683 --> 00:19:15,766 I don't understand. 486 00:19:15,850 --> 00:19:17,474 All my asshole friends keep getting 487 00:19:17,558 --> 00:19:19,808 NFL stadiums and corporate headquarters, 488 00:19:19,891 --> 00:19:21,183 all fully paid for. 489 00:19:21,267 --> 00:19:24,308 And you can't make one fucking factory happen? 490 00:19:24,392 --> 00:19:27,516 I mean, the only things I have left to cut are essential services. 491 00:19:27,599 --> 00:19:29,350 There you go. Do that. 492 00:19:29,433 --> 00:19:31,016 You could have a volunteer fire department. 493 00:19:31,100 --> 00:19:33,392 Because I can't afford a penny more than this. 494 00:19:36,975 --> 00:19:38,433 Man: Everybody ready? 495 00:19:38,516 --> 00:19:39,808 (blows pitch pipe) 496 00:19:39,891 --> 00:19:41,058 Two, three! 497 00:19:41,142 --> 00:19:43,433 ♪ Oh Carolina prowl off ♪ ♪ Do-do-do-do ♪ 498 00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,641 ♪ Jump an prance, oh Carolina ♪ 499 00:19:45,724 --> 00:19:48,225 ♪ Prowl off jump an prance ♪ ♪ Do-do-do-do ♪ 500 00:19:48,308 --> 00:19:50,975 ♪ Oh Carolina gal prowl off ♪ 501 00:19:51,058 --> 00:19:53,267 ♪ Gal yuh fi jump an prance ♪ 502 00:19:53,350 --> 00:19:54,599 ♪ Prowl off ♪ ♪ Do-do-do-do ♪ 503 00:19:54,683 --> 00:19:56,142 ♪ Jump and prance ♪ 504 00:19:56,225 --> 00:20:00,016 (jet engines revving) ♪ Carolina come bubble 'pon me ♪ 505 00:20:00,100 --> 00:20:03,641 ♪ Oh, watch how she groove ♪ 506 00:20:06,183 --> 00:20:08,016 Dinesh: So, pretty sweet, right? 507 00:20:08,100 --> 00:20:09,350 Woman: Yeah, it's nice. 508 00:20:09,433 --> 00:20:11,683 Sorry we couldn't find a safe spot to try Insane Mode. 509 00:20:11,766 --> 00:20:13,558 It feels like your kidneys are gonna get, like, 510 00:20:13,641 --> 00:20:15,058 ripped right through the back of your body. 511 00:20:15,142 --> 00:20:17,392 It's like... Yeah, I don't think I'd wanna do that. 512 00:20:17,474 --> 00:20:18,808 Well you don't need to do it. 513 00:20:18,891 --> 00:20:21,683 But you wanna be able to tell people that you can do it. 514 00:20:21,766 --> 00:20:24,142 Right? It's like having a gun. 515 00:20:24,225 --> 00:20:27,058 So, Charlie and Nadia have already said yes. 516 00:20:27,142 --> 00:20:29,683 You'll finally have something to talk to them about. 517 00:20:29,766 --> 00:20:31,474 Oh, let me think about it. 518 00:20:31,558 --> 00:20:34,933 Fine. Okay, just pull into the designated EV-- ...2.8 seconds. 519 00:20:35,016 --> 00:20:36,433 Oh, fuck. 520 00:20:36,516 --> 00:20:37,933 Danny already got his car. 521 00:20:38,016 --> 00:20:40,474 I'll pay your down payment and first three months. Do we have a deal? 522 00:20:40,558 --> 00:20:41,850 Wow, really? 523 00:20:43,225 --> 00:20:44,350 Make it six months. 524 00:20:45,516 --> 00:20:46,516 Fine! Okay, just go. 525 00:20:46,599 --> 00:20:48,433 Hide before Danny sees us in this shitty car. 526 00:20:48,516 --> 00:20:49,933 Go, go, go. Go. Wow, uh... 527 00:20:50,016 --> 00:20:52,100 ♪ ♪ 528 00:20:52,183 --> 00:20:53,891 (phone vibrating) 529 00:20:53,975 --> 00:20:55,058 Hello? 530 00:20:55,142 --> 00:20:56,599 Hey, guess what? 531 00:20:56,683 --> 00:20:58,850 My boss just bought me a car! 532 00:21:00,016 --> 00:21:02,516 What? No! Ew. Ugh! 533 00:21:04,766 --> 00:21:07,433 Richard? Ron LaFlamme's office just called. 534 00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:10,267 And the series B paperwork is ready for you to sign. 535 00:21:11,933 --> 00:21:13,225 Okay. 536 00:21:13,308 --> 00:21:16,599 Uh, well, then I guess I'll just go over there and sign it. 537 00:21:16,683 --> 00:21:19,308 Richard, I know you were pinning your hopes on the ICO, 538 00:21:19,392 --> 00:21:21,975 but I-- I think series B is the right call. 539 00:21:22,058 --> 00:21:24,058 Yeah, no, I-- I hope so. 540 00:21:24,142 --> 00:21:26,016 We're gonna get the money we need to launch, 541 00:21:26,100 --> 00:21:28,558 and everyone out there is gonna get a great bonus. 542 00:21:28,641 --> 00:21:31,474 And then, you're gonna have an army of happy 543 00:21:31,558 --> 00:21:33,766 and highly motivated workers... 544 00:21:34,891 --> 00:21:35,850 Richard: Jared? 545 00:21:35,933 --> 00:21:37,267 Everything okay with Holden? 546 00:21:37,350 --> 00:21:39,267 You mean, like, mentally? 547 00:21:39,350 --> 00:21:40,975 I was wondering that, too. 548 00:21:41,058 --> 00:21:43,267 No. No, no. Just, like... 549 00:21:43,350 --> 00:21:44,683 like, with you and him. 550 00:21:44,766 --> 00:21:47,683 Just seems like you're being really hard on him. 551 00:21:47,766 --> 00:21:48,975 Do you like him? 552 00:21:49,058 --> 00:21:50,808 Yeah. I mean, sure. 553 00:21:50,891 --> 00:21:53,891 Okay. It's okay if you like him. 554 00:21:53,975 --> 00:21:55,683 That's all that matters, right? 555 00:21:55,766 --> 00:21:56,683 Yeah. 556 00:21:56,766 --> 00:21:59,016 Okay. Well, I'll see you when, uh... 557 00:21:59,100 --> 00:22:01,641 I'll see you when you get back from LaFlamme's. 558 00:22:01,724 --> 00:22:05,225 ♪ ♪ 559 00:22:05,308 --> 00:22:06,933 (dramatic sting) 560 00:22:11,766 --> 00:22:14,433 Laurie: Every institutional investor to whom I reached out 561 00:22:14,516 --> 00:22:16,267 agreed to participate in our second fund. 562 00:22:16,350 --> 00:22:20,350 The capital issues we faced due to Eklow's failure 563 00:22:20,433 --> 00:22:21,474 have been remedied. 564 00:22:21,558 --> 00:22:23,599 Laurie, you are a badass. 565 00:22:25,766 --> 00:22:27,683 Ah, yes. A compliment. 566 00:22:27,766 --> 00:22:31,350 Well, I think the numbers in our new prospectus 567 00:22:31,474 --> 00:22:32,975 speak for themselves. 568 00:22:35,474 --> 00:22:38,474 Sorry, you're projecting that 70% of Pied Piper's 569 00:22:38,558 --> 00:22:41,683 operating income is gonna come from ad sales, but... 570 00:22:41,766 --> 00:22:43,183 Pied Piper's not gonna sell ads. 571 00:22:43,267 --> 00:22:46,308 Yes. I understand that is their current position. 572 00:22:46,392 --> 00:22:48,850 No, Laurie, when we offered them their series B, 573 00:22:48,933 --> 00:22:51,350 I promised Richard that we would never make them 574 00:22:51,433 --> 00:22:52,683 harvest data or sell ads. 575 00:22:52,766 --> 00:22:55,766 However, that language is not part of their term sheet. 576 00:22:55,850 --> 00:22:59,850 I am not saying that we will force their hand on this issue. 577 00:22:59,933 --> 00:23:04,641 But neither am I saying definitively that we will not. 578 00:23:04,724 --> 00:23:08,683 Okay, but you and I, we are partners, right? 579 00:23:08,766 --> 00:23:09,850 Of course. 580 00:23:09,933 --> 00:23:12,724 Any decision we make, we will certainly make together. 581 00:23:12,808 --> 00:23:15,392 Good. As long as that's clear. 582 00:23:15,474 --> 00:23:17,808 And again, great job closing our funding. 583 00:23:17,891 --> 00:23:20,724 Ah, yes. Huzzah. Onward. 584 00:23:25,308 --> 00:23:27,558 ♪ ♪ 585 00:23:27,641 --> 00:23:28,599 Laurie, did you have 586 00:23:28,683 --> 00:23:30,599 the big, hairy question put back on my wall? 587 00:23:30,683 --> 00:23:32,016 Yes. I like it there. 588 00:23:32,100 --> 00:23:33,183 But I don't. 589 00:23:34,225 --> 00:23:35,225 And yet... 590 00:23:40,183 --> 00:23:42,474 All right. One more, right there. 591 00:23:42,558 --> 00:23:45,350 And done-zo. 592 00:23:45,433 --> 00:23:47,183 Series ba-bam. 593 00:23:47,267 --> 00:23:48,766 Richard, don't sign it. 594 00:23:48,850 --> 00:23:49,933 Look, I can't protect you. 595 00:23:50,016 --> 00:23:51,933 At some point, Laurie's gonna fuck you over 596 00:23:52,016 --> 00:23:53,308 and make you sell ads. What? 597 00:23:53,392 --> 00:23:55,016 And I don't think there's anything I can do about it. 598 00:23:55,100 --> 00:23:58,142 Don't sign the deal. I just did. It's done. 599 00:23:58,225 --> 00:23:59,433 Jesus Christ. 600 00:23:59,516 --> 00:24:00,808 Laurie's gonna sell ads. 601 00:24:00,891 --> 00:24:02,724 Isn't that what I told you? 602 00:24:02,808 --> 00:24:04,724 What the fuck am I supposed to do now? 603 00:24:04,808 --> 00:24:06,225 (bang) God! 604 00:24:06,308 --> 00:24:08,891 You know I can just tear these up, right? 605 00:24:12,433 --> 00:24:14,100 No, I know. Good. 606 00:24:16,016 --> 00:24:17,142 Gavin: I like it. 607 00:24:17,225 --> 00:24:19,142 But can we adjust the proportions? 608 00:24:19,225 --> 00:24:20,808 Make the logo bigger? 609 00:24:20,891 --> 00:24:22,975 And-- and make the flag bigger? 610 00:24:23,058 --> 00:24:25,100 And-- and make the box bigger, too. 611 00:24:25,183 --> 00:24:27,516 It all just needs to be bigger. 612 00:24:27,599 --> 00:24:28,975 Okay. 613 00:24:29,058 --> 00:24:30,641 Bigger. Yeah. 614 00:24:30,724 --> 00:24:32,975 Sir. Ah, Hoover. 615 00:24:33,058 --> 00:24:34,641 How's the factory coming? 616 00:24:34,724 --> 00:24:35,933 We almost online? 617 00:24:36,016 --> 00:24:38,225 Not exactly, sir. 618 00:24:38,308 --> 00:24:39,308 It's gone. 619 00:24:39,392 --> 00:24:40,724 What do you mean? 620 00:24:40,808 --> 00:24:42,766 Did that dipshit mayor renege on our deal? 621 00:24:42,850 --> 00:24:44,433 No, he made every effort, 622 00:24:44,516 --> 00:24:46,433 including having the factory repainted. 623 00:24:46,516 --> 00:24:48,058 Okay. So what's the problem? 624 00:24:48,142 --> 00:24:51,683 Well, apparently, the painters left some oily rags in a garbage can. 625 00:24:51,766 --> 00:24:55,474 Mm-hmm. But because of cuts to the sanitation service, 626 00:24:55,558 --> 00:24:56,933 the trash was not collected 627 00:24:57,016 --> 00:24:58,724 and the rags smoldered and caught fire. 628 00:24:58,808 --> 00:25:01,100 And because of cuts to the fire department, 629 00:25:01,183 --> 00:25:02,183 the blaze spread. 630 00:25:02,267 --> 00:25:04,225 A number of concerned citizens 631 00:25:04,308 --> 00:25:05,683 volunteered to help fight the fire, 632 00:25:05,766 --> 00:25:08,599 but because the water was cut off, they could not. 633 00:25:08,683 --> 00:25:09,933 Okay, so what happened? 634 00:25:10,016 --> 00:25:12,766 Well, the vast majority of our expensive, rare earth materials 635 00:25:12,850 --> 00:25:13,766 survived the fire. 636 00:25:13,850 --> 00:25:15,183 Well, that's something. 637 00:25:15,267 --> 00:25:16,850 Until the flames abated, 638 00:25:16,933 --> 00:25:19,100 when because of mass layoffs of police, 639 00:25:19,183 --> 00:25:21,350 the locals that were there to fight the fire 640 00:25:21,433 --> 00:25:24,558 decided instead to loot the burned-out factory. 641 00:25:24,641 --> 00:25:27,433 The National Guard attempted to reach the factory 642 00:25:27,516 --> 00:25:28,599 to help stop this, but... 643 00:25:28,683 --> 00:25:30,891 The roads. The roads, sir, yes. 644 00:25:30,975 --> 00:25:32,225 Okay. 645 00:25:32,308 --> 00:25:34,225 So, we lost it all? 646 00:25:34,308 --> 00:25:35,724 Everything? Yes. 647 00:25:37,183 --> 00:25:38,808 Also, the IRS called. 648 00:25:38,891 --> 00:25:40,975 Somehow, they found out about Bermuda. 649 00:25:42,516 --> 00:25:46,392 ♪ ♪ 650 00:25:46,474 --> 00:25:48,558 Look, when you take it all into account, 651 00:25:48,641 --> 00:25:50,183 turning down our series B 652 00:25:50,267 --> 00:25:51,850 and doing an ICO to fund your launch, 653 00:25:51,933 --> 00:25:54,183 may actually give you the best odds. 654 00:25:54,267 --> 00:25:56,058 You said ICOs are suicide. 655 00:25:56,142 --> 00:25:57,267 Well, I'm a VC 656 00:25:57,350 --> 00:25:59,558 and some of that might have been self-preservational. 657 00:25:59,641 --> 00:26:00,933 Okay. 658 00:26:01,016 --> 00:26:03,308 Well, even if you were exaggerating, you're still right. 659 00:26:03,392 --> 00:26:06,933 I mean, Russ Hanneman had 36 chances to make an ICO work 660 00:26:07,016 --> 00:26:08,225 and he basically failed. 661 00:26:08,308 --> 00:26:09,308 I only have one. 662 00:26:09,392 --> 00:26:11,808 Look, Gilfoyle can handle all the technical stuff. 663 00:26:11,891 --> 00:26:13,183 You just need to hire someone 664 00:26:13,267 --> 00:26:14,350 who can handle the business side. 665 00:26:14,433 --> 00:26:16,183 Like who? I don't know. 666 00:26:16,267 --> 00:26:18,933 I'm sorry, but I gotta Uber back to the office 667 00:26:19,016 --> 00:26:20,350 before Laurie realizes I'm gone. 668 00:26:20,433 --> 00:26:22,016 No, no, wait. Who do I hire? 669 00:26:22,100 --> 00:26:24,225 Someone who understands securities, right? 670 00:26:24,308 --> 00:26:25,308 Not necessarily. 671 00:26:25,392 --> 00:26:27,058 I mean, your coin doesn't have to be a security. 672 00:26:27,142 --> 00:26:29,058 You could do a utility token instead, 673 00:26:29,142 --> 00:26:30,891 since you provide an actual unit of compute. 674 00:26:30,975 --> 00:26:33,225 Although, you'd have to convince the SEC. 675 00:26:34,350 --> 00:26:35,933 Damn it. Surge pricing. 676 00:26:36,016 --> 00:26:37,850 Monica. You might not even need to bother 677 00:26:37,933 --> 00:26:40,058 with a moving average pricing strategy when you launch. 678 00:26:40,142 --> 00:26:41,766 But you will need to keep a close eye on 679 00:26:41,850 --> 00:26:43,350 statements from the federal government, 680 00:26:43,433 --> 00:26:44,392 South Korea, and China. 681 00:26:44,474 --> 00:26:45,975 So, whoever you do hire 682 00:26:46,058 --> 00:26:47,641 should definitely know how to do all that. 683 00:26:47,724 --> 00:26:48,641 Okay, six minutes. 684 00:26:48,724 --> 00:26:50,850 Monica. What? 685 00:26:50,933 --> 00:26:52,225 It's you. 686 00:26:52,308 --> 00:26:53,474 You're the right person. 687 00:26:53,558 --> 00:26:55,392 No. 688 00:26:55,474 --> 00:26:56,808 No. No, no, no, no, no. 689 00:26:56,891 --> 00:26:58,392 Come on. Give me one good reason. 690 00:26:59,516 --> 00:27:01,933 I... love my job. 691 00:27:02,016 --> 00:27:03,016 You hate working for Laurie. 692 00:27:03,100 --> 00:27:06,308 With Laurie, okay? We are both equal partners. 693 00:27:06,392 --> 00:27:07,558 Okay. 694 00:27:07,641 --> 00:27:10,766 Look, Monica. I will do the ICO. 695 00:27:10,850 --> 00:27:12,766 But only if you do it with me. 696 00:27:16,100 --> 00:27:17,100 Come on. 697 00:27:18,267 --> 00:27:19,350 Wait, what's happening? 698 00:27:20,474 --> 00:27:21,766 Canceling my Uber. 699 00:27:23,599 --> 00:27:25,641 So, you're in? Fuck it. 700 00:27:25,724 --> 00:27:26,766 I'm in. (laughs) 701 00:27:26,850 --> 00:27:27,850 Fuck series B. 702 00:27:27,933 --> 00:27:29,683 PiedPiperCoin is totally gonna work. 703 00:27:29,766 --> 00:27:32,142 Yes. It is. It totally is. 704 00:27:37,599 --> 00:27:38,850 Dinesh: So, just to confirm, 705 00:27:38,933 --> 00:27:40,808 in order for this coin to be worth 706 00:27:40,891 --> 00:27:42,599 what series B was worth to all of us, 707 00:27:42,683 --> 00:27:44,350 it has to sell for how much? 708 00:27:44,433 --> 00:27:46,308 $68. 709 00:27:46,392 --> 00:27:47,516 Dinesh: I see. 710 00:27:47,599 --> 00:27:51,183 And seven cents is less than that. 711 00:27:51,267 --> 00:27:52,350 Yup. 712 00:27:52,433 --> 00:27:54,308 Whose idea was this again? 713 00:27:54,392 --> 00:27:57,558 I believe the initial idea was Gilfoyle's. 714 00:27:57,641 --> 00:27:59,267 To be fair, it was Monica 715 00:27:59,350 --> 00:28:01,850 who really pushed it over the goal line. 716 00:28:01,933 --> 00:28:04,683 Well, I'm gonna head down to the Tesla dealer 717 00:28:04,766 --> 00:28:06,766 and beg them to take my car back. 718 00:28:07,850 --> 00:28:09,891 Well, that's something. 719 00:28:09,975 --> 00:28:11,641 And my two referrals fell through. 720 00:28:11,724 --> 00:28:13,058 And I had to return mine. 721 00:28:13,142 --> 00:28:15,766 So now the only Tesla in the office is Priyanka's 722 00:28:15,850 --> 00:28:17,350 and I'm paying for that. 723 00:28:17,433 --> 00:28:18,975 So, that's cool. 724 00:28:19,058 --> 00:28:21,724 Richard, adversity is a great teacher. 725 00:28:21,808 --> 00:28:23,641 Just like cigarette burns. 726 00:28:26,433 --> 00:28:28,641 (phone ringing, vibrating) 727 00:28:31,641 --> 00:28:33,516 Laurie, hi. 728 00:28:33,599 --> 00:28:34,516 Laurie: Monica. 729 00:28:34,599 --> 00:28:37,641 Congratulations on the ICO. (scoffs) 730 00:28:37,724 --> 00:28:41,891 Yeah, yeah. Not quite the numbers we were hoping for. 731 00:28:41,975 --> 00:28:43,474 I'm sure you're happy about that. 732 00:28:43,558 --> 00:28:45,058 On the contrary. 733 00:28:45,142 --> 00:28:46,683 Monica, you have certain values. 734 00:28:46,766 --> 00:28:49,183 And I see no reason you should not work with companies that share them. 735 00:28:49,267 --> 00:28:53,766 Similarly, I should work with companies that share my values. 736 00:28:53,850 --> 00:28:55,100 So, no hard feelings? 737 00:28:55,183 --> 00:28:57,933 No feelings at all, Monica. 738 00:28:58,016 --> 00:28:59,142 We are friends 739 00:28:59,225 --> 00:29:01,766 and we should not let business get in the way of that. 740 00:29:01,850 --> 00:29:04,975 Speaking of, I am stepping into a meeting. 741 00:29:05,058 --> 00:29:08,058 Right, well, I'm surprised you're taking this so well, 742 00:29:08,142 --> 00:29:09,433 I really appreciate it, Laurie. 743 00:29:09,516 --> 00:29:10,724 Let us talk soon. 744 00:29:13,433 --> 00:29:16,683 (speaking Chinese) 745 00:29:18,267 --> 00:29:20,100 (speaks Chinese) 746 00:29:20,183 --> 00:29:21,474 Have you received my proposal? 747 00:29:21,558 --> 00:29:23,516 (speaks Chinese) Very promising. 748 00:29:25,558 --> 00:29:29,142 ("Metalstorm" by Cut Chemist) 749 00:29:29,225 --> 00:29:31,808 ♪ In the land of the lost, we lay down law ♪ 750 00:29:31,891 --> 00:29:34,225 ♪ Chopping off your head to take your face on tour ♪ 751 00:29:34,308 --> 00:29:36,808 ♪ Lacerate your lips, then we shave off more ♪ 752 00:29:36,891 --> 00:29:38,975 ♪ Electrocute your body through the encore ♪ 753 00:29:39,058 --> 00:29:41,433 ♪ When the cops come and try to raid the jams ♪ 754 00:29:41,516 --> 00:29:43,808 ♪ I change my physical form to that of a ram ♪ 755 00:29:43,891 --> 00:29:45,891 ♪ Alakazam, I'm half of a man ♪ 756 00:29:45,975 --> 00:29:48,474 ♪ The other part of me operates robotically ♪ 757 00:29:48,558 --> 00:29:50,766 ♪ Psychology is the dominant factor ♪ 758 00:29:50,850 --> 00:29:53,474 ♪ Believe in the holograms and step into the backdoor ♪ 759 00:29:53,558 --> 00:29:55,433 ♪ Out for AM, more mayhem ♪ 760 00:29:55,516 --> 00:29:58,142 ♪ Five fatal steps to death unless we trace them ♪ 761 00:29:58,225 --> 00:30:00,058 ♪ Five: hesitate to get live ♪ 762 00:30:00,142 --> 00:30:02,683 ♪ Your career's postmortem, now you can't survive ♪ 763 00:30:02,766 --> 00:30:04,641 ♪ Four: perpetuate the folklore ♪ 764 00:30:04,724 --> 00:30:07,308 ♪ Live a lie, you can't identify yourself no more ♪ 765 00:30:07,392 --> 00:30:09,308 ♪ Three: Call yourself an MC ♪ 766 00:30:09,392 --> 00:30:11,850 ♪ Practice minimally and start fucking with me ♪ 767 00:30:11,933 --> 00:30:14,516 ♪ Or the sorcery to the ultimate degree ♪ 768 00:30:14,599 --> 00:30:16,641 ♪ W-A-R W-M-D ♪ 769 00:30:16,724 --> 00:30:18,891 ♪ C-W-O fall in love with the dough ♪ 770 00:30:18,975 --> 00:30:20,142 ♪ Till your spiritual essence ♪ 771 00:30:20,225 --> 00:30:21,599 ♪ Is something that you don't know about ♪ 772 00:30:21,683 --> 00:30:23,308 ♪ Half the time, they don't rhyme ♪ 773 00:30:23,392 --> 00:30:25,016 ♪ Half the time, they all lying ♪ 774 00:30:25,100 --> 00:30:26,891 ♪ Half the time, they all mine ♪ 775 00:30:26,975 --> 00:30:28,392 ♪ Half the time, they all yours ♪ 776 00:30:28,474 --> 00:30:30,558 ♪ Half the time, we on tour ♪ 777 00:30:35,474 --> 00:30:36,850 RICHARD HENDRICKS: I just knew we'd get some traction. 778 00:30:36,933 --> 00:30:39,724 We are gaining almost 12,000 users an hour! 779 00:30:39,808 --> 00:30:41,433 -(CHEERING) -Yeah! 780 00:30:41,641 --> 00:30:42,724 You get a high-five and-- 781 00:30:42,808 --> 00:30:44,183 You really did a number on that kid. 782 00:30:44,267 --> 00:30:45,683 I just chipped away everything 783 00:30:45,766 --> 00:30:48,308 that wasn't Richard's assistant and this is what's left. 784 00:30:48,392 --> 00:30:49,267 Yeah! 785 00:30:50,933 --> 00:30:52,225 This breaks our users down. 786 00:30:52,308 --> 00:30:53,683 -MONICA HALL: Who's that? -BERTRAM GILFOYLE: No idea. 787 00:30:53,766 --> 00:30:55,350 It's the 51 percent attack. 788 00:30:56,100 --> 00:30:58,183 They can delete all of our users. 789 00:30:58,975 --> 00:31:00,599 All of our developer apps. 790 00:31:01,474 --> 00:31:02,808 Crash our coin. 791 00:31:03,850 --> 00:31:06,808 This would be the end of Pied Piper. 792 00:31:06,975 --> 00:31:07,891 (DOOR OPENS) 793 00:31:07,975 --> 00:31:09,392 (PANTING) 794 00:31:09,474 --> 00:31:10,724 HENDRICKS: Just went for a run. 795 00:31:10,808 --> 00:31:13,350 (OUT OF BREATH) I sprinted... up the last bit there. 796 00:31:13,558 --> 00:31:14,641 What's goin' on?