1 00:00:02,584 --> 00:00:04,377 I give you the product that will carry Hooli 2 00:00:04,668 --> 00:00:07,252 to complete market dominance. 3 00:00:07,626 --> 00:00:09,377 (APPLAUSE, CHEERING) 4 00:00:09,377 --> 00:00:13,210 -MAN: (WHISPERS) It looks like a penis. -Yes... Yes, it does. 5 00:00:13,876 --> 00:00:15,918 So, we're giving a random company 6 00:00:15,918 --> 00:00:18,043 a bunch of free compute power in our network? 7 00:00:18,043 --> 00:00:19,043 BERTRAM GILFOYLE: The AI company? 8 00:00:19,293 --> 00:00:22,543 I made her! I can do anything I want with her! 9 00:00:23,043 --> 00:00:24,626 Ugh. Gross. 10 00:00:25,001 --> 00:00:28,043 Can you please tell me what you are going to do 11 00:00:28,043 --> 00:00:30,335 about this Jian Yang situation? 12 00:00:30,709 --> 00:00:31,751 Yes. Nothing. 13 00:00:32,085 --> 00:00:36,210 "I went to China to do new new internet. Jian Yang." 14 00:00:46,001 --> 00:00:47,584 Richard: This went up yesterday. 15 00:00:47,584 --> 00:00:50,293 A fake Pied Piper. This is Jian-Yang, not us. 16 00:00:50,293 --> 00:00:52,085 Richard, he has a website. 17 00:00:52,085 --> 00:00:53,501 Okay? He doesn't have a product. 18 00:00:53,501 --> 00:00:54,960 Just post a cease and desist 19 00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:56,918 on your own website and move on. 20 00:00:56,918 --> 00:00:58,293 We need action. 21 00:00:58,293 --> 00:01:01,127 I wanna move up our launch so we can beat this asshole to market. 22 00:01:01,127 --> 00:01:05,543 We need money. So, how quickly can we get a series B together? 23 00:01:05,543 --> 00:01:08,584 Richard, a series B is not a done deal. 24 00:01:08,584 --> 00:01:10,543 And Laurie's not gonna be able to weigh in on this 25 00:01:10,543 --> 00:01:12,418 until she's done sorting things out over at Eklow. 26 00:01:12,418 --> 00:01:13,584 Why is she still over there? 27 00:01:13,584 --> 00:01:16,918 We put 112 million of our dollars into a company 28 00:01:16,918 --> 00:01:20,252 whose creepy CEO just fled with its most valuable asset. 29 00:01:20,252 --> 00:01:23,252 Ariel and that robot could be anywhere. 30 00:01:23,252 --> 00:01:24,960 Ariel fucked us too, remember? 31 00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:27,668 I just had my whole company on a three-day code sprint 32 00:01:27,668 --> 00:01:28,960 to repair all the holes 33 00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:30,501 and un-fuck all the damage he did. 34 00:01:30,501 --> 00:01:32,668 Besides, Laurie doesn't work at Eklow. 35 00:01:32,668 --> 00:01:34,501 She works here, with you and me. 36 00:01:34,501 --> 00:01:35,960 True, 37 00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:38,210 but also not true. 38 00:01:38,210 --> 00:01:42,127 Look, Laurie has installed herself as Eklow's interim CEO. 39 00:01:42,127 --> 00:01:43,501 What? 40 00:01:43,501 --> 00:01:45,793 Laurie, Ariel encrypted all of his files. 41 00:01:45,793 --> 00:01:46,960 We can't open any of them. 42 00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:48,960 Ah, understood. Keep trying, please. 43 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:49,960 I spoke with the bank. 44 00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:52,001 We're not gonna make payroll. 45 00:01:52,001 --> 00:01:55,252 Noted. Thank you for your diligence. People are pretty upset. 46 00:01:55,252 --> 00:01:57,001 Somebody shattered the toilet. 47 00:01:57,001 --> 00:01:58,043 Ah, yes, well, we'll certainly 48 00:01:58,043 --> 00:01:59,793 have to get that repaired, won't we? 49 00:02:01,418 --> 00:02:03,127 Good work, you two. 50 00:02:03,127 --> 00:02:05,001 Hang in there. 51 00:02:05,001 --> 00:02:07,043 ♪ ♪ 52 00:02:10,168 --> 00:02:11,335 Hey, Laurie. 53 00:02:11,335 --> 00:02:13,501 I know you're "busy" being a "CEO," 54 00:02:13,501 --> 00:02:15,876 but we have to have a serious conversation about... 55 00:02:15,876 --> 00:02:17,835 (Laurie retching) 56 00:02:21,377 --> 00:02:22,668 Laurie: Richard? Yes? 57 00:02:23,835 --> 00:02:26,584 I have vomited into my shirt. 58 00:02:26,584 --> 00:02:28,668 (theme music playing) 59 00:02:38,876 --> 00:02:40,168 Puking. 60 00:02:40,168 --> 00:02:41,668 That's my move. 61 00:02:41,668 --> 00:02:43,501 Thank you for... 62 00:02:46,085 --> 00:02:47,918 finding me a... 63 00:02:47,918 --> 00:02:49,252 a change of clothing. 64 00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:52,043 Well, fortunately, you're the same size as the robot. 65 00:02:52,043 --> 00:02:55,210 Richard, the position of CEO is... 66 00:02:55,210 --> 00:02:56,418 taxing. 67 00:02:56,418 --> 00:02:58,377 It isn't easy, is it? 68 00:02:58,377 --> 00:03:00,960 I think perhaps I may have 69 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:04,043 treated you unfairly in the past. 70 00:03:04,043 --> 00:03:05,418 Oh.. 71 00:03:06,418 --> 00:03:07,960 (scoffs) Well... 72 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:11,043 I mean, a couple-- a couple-- yeah. Sure. Thank you. 73 00:03:11,043 --> 00:03:13,001 Thank you for saying that, yeah. 74 00:03:13,001 --> 00:03:14,043 Yes. 75 00:03:16,626 --> 00:03:18,584 Well, I have work to do, as do you, so. 76 00:03:22,001 --> 00:03:23,043 (scoffs) 77 00:03:28,043 --> 00:03:30,043 ♪ ♪ 78 00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,584 (indistinct chattering) 79 00:03:31,584 --> 00:03:35,543 You know, Laurie, I actually may have a way to help you here. 80 00:03:37,127 --> 00:03:39,835 Yao: Things are changing in China now, Gavin. 81 00:03:39,835 --> 00:03:41,709 There are many reforms. 82 00:03:41,709 --> 00:03:43,835 As you see, we provide a series 83 00:03:43,835 --> 00:03:45,835 of Tai Chi and movement classes, 84 00:03:45,835 --> 00:03:47,252 free for all employees, 85 00:03:47,252 --> 00:03:50,543 as well as free medical benefits. 86 00:03:50,543 --> 00:03:53,293 Ah, our nutrition center. 87 00:03:53,293 --> 00:03:55,210 In addition to all the good food 88 00:03:55,210 --> 00:03:58,085 we serve in our main cafeteria. 89 00:03:58,085 --> 00:03:59,626 Also free of charge. 90 00:04:00,751 --> 00:04:02,459 This concludes our tour. 91 00:04:02,459 --> 00:04:03,751 Any questions? 92 00:04:03,751 --> 00:04:05,501 Just one. 93 00:04:05,501 --> 00:04:06,918 What the fuck? 94 00:04:06,918 --> 00:04:08,960 Sorry? If I wanted to see nap pods 95 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:11,085 and climbing walls, I would've stayed home, 96 00:04:11,085 --> 00:04:12,293 or gone to fucking Denmark. 97 00:04:12,293 --> 00:04:14,127 All I wanna see is people working 98 00:04:14,127 --> 00:04:15,960 as hard as they possibly can. 99 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:17,459 That's why we come to China. 100 00:04:17,459 --> 00:04:18,668 This is the new China. 101 00:04:18,668 --> 00:04:22,459 We found that the more humane work environment we have, 102 00:04:22,459 --> 00:04:24,418 the more sustainable over time. 103 00:04:24,418 --> 00:04:25,793 Over time? No, no. 104 00:04:25,793 --> 00:04:29,127 The Box Three has a very limited window of profitability. 105 00:04:29,127 --> 00:04:31,960 I need you focused on making as many of them as possible, 106 00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:33,626 as fast as possible. 107 00:04:33,626 --> 00:04:34,793 Gavin. 108 00:04:34,793 --> 00:04:36,876 You know our shameful history 109 00:04:36,876 --> 00:04:38,960 of worker suicides. 110 00:04:38,960 --> 00:04:42,459 Since the renovation, not a single one. 111 00:04:42,459 --> 00:04:43,668 Gavin: Not even one? 112 00:04:43,668 --> 00:04:45,001 Okay. 113 00:04:45,001 --> 00:04:47,210 But there's gotta be like a middle ground here. 114 00:04:47,210 --> 00:04:48,918 (woman speaks Chinese) 115 00:04:48,918 --> 00:04:51,085 Ah, a happy surprise. 116 00:04:51,085 --> 00:04:52,835 The children from our daycare center have 117 00:04:52,835 --> 00:04:56,168 prepared a traditional song just for you. 118 00:04:56,168 --> 00:05:00,127 (singing in Chinese) 119 00:05:00,127 --> 00:05:01,168 That's wonderful. 120 00:05:02,293 --> 00:05:04,377 Yao, I need you to give me 30% more output. 121 00:05:04,377 --> 00:05:06,168 I don't care how you do it. 122 00:05:06,168 --> 00:05:08,127 Just a thought, 123 00:05:08,127 --> 00:05:09,709 those kids don't look that busy. 124 00:05:13,335 --> 00:05:14,501 (singing continues) 125 00:05:15,709 --> 00:05:17,418 (typing) 126 00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:20,001 Are you done with... your chunk yet? 127 00:05:20,001 --> 00:05:21,001 Almost done. 128 00:05:21,001 --> 00:05:22,835 Because everyone else is done. 129 00:05:22,835 --> 00:05:24,459 Literally everyone. (snoring) 130 00:05:24,459 --> 00:05:27,001 47 engineers finished. 131 00:05:27,001 --> 00:05:28,501 One not. 132 00:05:28,501 --> 00:05:29,793 You. 133 00:05:29,793 --> 00:05:32,168 Almost there. I'm sure it'll be worth the wait. 134 00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:35,876 (slurps) 135 00:05:35,876 --> 00:05:38,459 Mmm, no, that's way too strong for him. 136 00:05:38,459 --> 00:05:40,459 Hey, guys. How's the code sprint going? 137 00:05:40,459 --> 00:05:42,043 T-minus Dinesh. 138 00:05:42,043 --> 00:05:43,876 Jared: Richard, I am pleased to say 139 00:05:43,876 --> 00:05:46,168 that your new assistant is a quick study. 140 00:05:46,168 --> 00:05:49,043 And per your text, he posted a well-crafted cease and desist 141 00:05:49,043 --> 00:05:52,001 directed at Jian-Yang on the Pied Piper website. 142 00:05:52,001 --> 00:05:54,876 I made some judicious edits to capture your voice, 143 00:05:54,876 --> 00:05:57,876 but the thrust of the piece was his. 144 00:05:57,876 --> 00:05:59,210 I have a law degree, so. 145 00:05:59,210 --> 00:06:00,418 Well done, Holden. 146 00:06:00,418 --> 00:06:01,793 Is that tea for me? 147 00:06:01,793 --> 00:06:03,377 It is, indeed. Okay. Great. 148 00:06:03,377 --> 00:06:04,543 No, no, no, no, don't. 149 00:06:04,543 --> 00:06:05,626 It's too strong. 150 00:06:05,626 --> 00:06:07,543 Okay. Water it down. 151 00:06:10,543 --> 00:06:14,210 So, did you speak to Laurie about our series B? 152 00:06:14,210 --> 00:06:15,210 Sort of. 153 00:06:15,210 --> 00:06:17,584 Uh, Gilfoyle, is there a secure way 154 00:06:17,584 --> 00:06:20,418 of giving someone access to our servers 155 00:06:20,418 --> 00:06:22,459 while still limiting and controlling 156 00:06:22,459 --> 00:06:23,709 how much compute they could use? 157 00:06:23,709 --> 00:06:25,501 I could create a credit system. 158 00:06:25,501 --> 00:06:28,252 Wait, I'm sorry, Richard. Who would these credits be for? 159 00:06:28,252 --> 00:06:31,001 Laurie Bream. She made herself CEO of Eklow. 160 00:06:31,001 --> 00:06:32,418 I'm just trying to help her out. 161 00:06:32,418 --> 00:06:34,918 Pardon? Do you think you could set those up by today? 162 00:06:34,918 --> 00:06:36,418 More work. Fantastic. 163 00:06:36,418 --> 00:06:38,418 Richard, I don't quite understand... 164 00:06:38,418 --> 00:06:39,626 Dinesh: Done! 165 00:06:39,626 --> 00:06:42,751 Done! I am done! 166 00:06:42,751 --> 00:06:44,418 (Dinesh laughing) 167 00:06:45,668 --> 00:06:46,918 Look at this! 168 00:06:46,918 --> 00:06:48,876 Whoo! 169 00:06:48,876 --> 00:06:50,501 Code sprint over. 170 00:06:50,501 --> 00:06:52,293 (gong rings) (applause) 171 00:06:57,043 --> 00:06:58,501 (gong quiets) 172 00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:00,459 Uh, congratulations, everybody. 173 00:07:00,459 --> 00:07:01,584 Really, good-- good job. 174 00:07:01,584 --> 00:07:05,210 Um, the only thing left to do now is... 175 00:07:05,210 --> 00:07:09,584 get back to work and review all the code for errors. 176 00:07:09,584 --> 00:07:11,001 Okay, so... (groaning) 177 00:07:12,459 --> 00:07:13,418 Okay. 178 00:07:13,418 --> 00:07:15,001 That was an out-of-body experience. 179 00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:17,543 It was like God was coding through me. 180 00:07:17,543 --> 00:07:18,709 Time stood still. 181 00:07:18,709 --> 00:07:20,335 Not for the rest of us it didn't. 182 00:07:20,335 --> 00:07:21,960 Laugh it up, Gilf. 183 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:24,584 I hear you making your little jokes at my expense, 184 00:07:24,584 --> 00:07:26,709 turning all the engineers against me. 185 00:07:26,709 --> 00:07:29,459 But the second these results go up, 186 00:07:29,459 --> 00:07:33,252 they're all going to see the only thing that matters-- 187 00:07:33,252 --> 00:07:35,085 Who made less errors. 188 00:07:35,085 --> 00:07:37,043 You mean who made "fewer" errors? 189 00:07:37,043 --> 00:07:38,835 Oh, you think you're so clever. 190 00:07:38,835 --> 00:07:40,543 You know who else thought it was clever? 191 00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:41,543 The hare. 192 00:07:41,543 --> 00:07:44,168 Right before it was defeated by the tortoise. 193 00:07:44,168 --> 00:07:46,168 I'm the fucking tortoise, Gilfoyle. 194 00:07:46,168 --> 00:07:48,918 I'm the fucking tortoise! Keep saying that. 195 00:07:48,918 --> 00:07:50,668 I can't wait for these results to go up. 196 00:07:50,668 --> 00:07:53,709 Guys? No, no, no. We talked about this. Remember? 197 00:07:53,709 --> 00:07:55,043 You're both senior management now. 198 00:07:55,043 --> 00:07:57,668 Okay? Your code will be subject to private review. 199 00:07:57,668 --> 00:07:59,543 No. No, no, no, not private. 200 00:07:59,543 --> 00:08:01,418 Everyone has to know that I'm better than Gilfoyle. 201 00:08:01,418 --> 00:08:03,252 I'm sorry. When it was just us, 202 00:08:03,252 --> 00:08:05,751 a little cocksmanship was a fun diversion. 203 00:08:05,751 --> 00:08:08,001 But the entire engineering team's morale 204 00:08:08,001 --> 00:08:10,835 depends on seeing you both as equally competent leaders. 205 00:08:10,835 --> 00:08:13,168 Danny over there is going to be reviewing your code, 206 00:08:13,168 --> 00:08:15,793 and keeping the results completely confidential. 207 00:08:16,835 --> 00:08:18,085 Jared... 208 00:08:18,085 --> 00:08:21,876 I believe we all know who's the better coder anyway. 209 00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:23,459 Um, Richard? 210 00:08:23,459 --> 00:08:27,043 I'm sorry, I'm still having a little bit of a hard time understanding. 211 00:08:27,043 --> 00:08:29,918 You went to see Laurie to get money from her 212 00:08:29,918 --> 00:08:33,501 but now you're giving our resources to her. 213 00:08:33,501 --> 00:08:34,876 Why would you do that? 214 00:08:34,876 --> 00:08:37,918 Well, honestly Jared, she was a mess. 215 00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:41,876 And I really, genuinely felt bad for her. 216 00:08:41,876 --> 00:08:43,210 For Laurie? 217 00:08:44,335 --> 00:08:45,377 Yup. 218 00:08:48,085 --> 00:08:51,751 Richard, you have an enormous heart. 219 00:08:51,751 --> 00:08:56,043 And I don't mean in the same way my deceased friend Gloria did, 220 00:08:56,043 --> 00:08:58,043 which the doctors should have really caught 221 00:08:58,043 --> 00:09:00,293 because her knuckles were gargantuan. 222 00:09:00,293 --> 00:09:02,501 But do you think in this instance, 223 00:09:02,501 --> 00:09:04,501 you might have allowed your emotions 224 00:09:04,501 --> 00:09:06,668 to cloud your business instincts? 225 00:09:06,668 --> 00:09:10,085 Well, I would argue that I made a very good business decision. 226 00:09:10,085 --> 00:09:12,168 Because now, Laurie is on our side. 227 00:09:12,168 --> 00:09:15,751 Which will play out very nicely when we negotiate our series B. 228 00:09:15,751 --> 00:09:17,459 Okay, Richard, it is important 229 00:09:17,459 --> 00:09:20,751 to develop emotional self-discipline for situations like this. 230 00:09:20,751 --> 00:09:23,418 Mm-hmm. Sometimes you have to numb yourself. 231 00:09:23,418 --> 00:09:24,751 If you wanna work the corner, 232 00:09:24,751 --> 00:09:26,918 you can't fall in love every time you turn a trick. 233 00:09:26,918 --> 00:09:28,293 That's why you do the oxy. 234 00:09:28,293 --> 00:09:31,459 What I'm saying is if you ever need to develop strategies 235 00:09:31,459 --> 00:09:34,085 to cultivate more emotional self-control, 236 00:09:34,085 --> 00:09:36,960 obviously I do have some experience. You do? 237 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:38,210 Doubtless you've noticed 238 00:09:38,210 --> 00:09:40,001 that I've been pulling away from you. 239 00:09:40,001 --> 00:09:43,584 Uh, no-- no, I can't... honestly say that I have. 240 00:09:43,584 --> 00:09:45,501 Look at Holden out there. 241 00:09:45,501 --> 00:09:48,043 You think I didn't love making your tea? 242 00:09:48,043 --> 00:09:49,168 Who wouldn't? 243 00:09:49,168 --> 00:09:50,960 But, when you anointed me COO, 244 00:09:50,960 --> 00:09:54,459 I learned to stop investing those feelings in you 245 00:09:54,459 --> 00:09:56,626 for the good of the company. 246 00:09:56,626 --> 00:09:58,960 Call it emotional abstinence. 247 00:09:58,960 --> 00:10:00,043 Jared, look, um, 248 00:10:00,043 --> 00:10:01,793 in regards to the whole Laurie thing, 249 00:10:01,793 --> 00:10:03,751 I actually think I made the right call. 250 00:10:03,751 --> 00:10:04,835 Alright. Alright. 251 00:10:04,835 --> 00:10:07,876 Well, I am available. 252 00:10:07,876 --> 00:10:10,459 Not emotionally, obviously. 253 00:10:11,793 --> 00:10:12,876 Got it. 254 00:10:12,876 --> 00:10:15,501 (street noise) 255 00:10:15,501 --> 00:10:18,751 Ooh, there's a highly rated new dim sum establishment 256 00:10:18,751 --> 00:10:19,751 in this neighborhood. 257 00:10:19,751 --> 00:10:21,501 Sir, Richard Hendricks just posted 258 00:10:21,501 --> 00:10:23,377 a cease and desist letter. 259 00:10:23,377 --> 00:10:26,960 "...unlawful copying of Pied Piper's proprietary software." 260 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,584 Are you fucking kidding me? 261 00:10:28,584 --> 00:10:30,751 That idiot let someone steal his code, 262 00:10:30,751 --> 00:10:32,543 so now there might be two companies 263 00:10:32,543 --> 00:10:34,335 working to make my box obsolete? 264 00:10:34,335 --> 00:10:36,377 I'll try to find out who's responsible. 265 00:10:36,377 --> 00:10:40,210 Good luck. HooliMaps says dim sum is that way. 266 00:10:40,210 --> 00:10:41,626 Right turn, please. 267 00:10:41,626 --> 00:10:43,043 (tires screech) 268 00:10:44,085 --> 00:10:46,001 (both yelling in Chinese) 269 00:10:51,751 --> 00:10:53,377 Gavin: Look! Pied Piper! 270 00:10:53,377 --> 00:10:54,626 Follow that Chinese man. 271 00:10:55,501 --> 00:10:57,418 The Chinese man on the bicycle. 272 00:10:57,418 --> 00:11:00,543 The Chinese man on the bicycle in the green Pied Piper t-shirt. 273 00:11:00,543 --> 00:11:01,668 Ah. 274 00:11:01,668 --> 00:11:03,835 Gavin: Hurry, hurry! Come on! Don't lose him. 275 00:11:03,835 --> 00:11:05,668 (clicking tongue) 276 00:11:10,168 --> 00:11:11,668 Hey dude, how's it goin'? 277 00:11:11,668 --> 00:11:14,543 How's that... review going? 278 00:11:14,543 --> 00:11:15,835 Probably done, right? 279 00:11:15,835 --> 00:11:17,293 'Cause it took you no time 280 00:11:17,293 --> 00:11:19,043 counting up the bugs in my stuff? 281 00:11:19,043 --> 00:11:21,543 'Cause I crushed it so hard? 282 00:11:22,876 --> 00:11:24,168 Compared to Gilfoyle? 283 00:11:25,377 --> 00:11:26,377 Right? 284 00:11:29,127 --> 00:11:31,543 I get it. I get it. It's a secret. 285 00:11:31,543 --> 00:11:33,835 Company morale. I'm so on board. 286 00:11:34,876 --> 00:11:36,252 I did crush him, right? 287 00:11:38,043 --> 00:11:39,501 He did better than me? 288 00:11:39,501 --> 00:11:40,584 Oh my God. 289 00:11:40,584 --> 00:11:42,709 This is my worst fucking nightmare. 290 00:11:42,709 --> 00:11:44,335 But not by a lot, right? 291 00:11:44,335 --> 00:11:45,918 He didn't like kick my ass? 292 00:11:47,751 --> 00:11:49,210 He kicked my ass? 293 00:11:49,210 --> 00:11:50,751 That fucker! 294 00:11:50,751 --> 00:11:52,377 Just fucking tell me. 295 00:11:52,377 --> 00:11:54,543 Just fucking tell me how much he kicked my ass by. 296 00:11:54,543 --> 00:11:56,043 Please just fucking tell me. 297 00:11:56,043 --> 00:11:58,168 I'm not gonna beg. I'm not gonna beg. 298 00:11:58,168 --> 00:12:01,584 Please? Please? Please? Please? 299 00:12:02,584 --> 00:12:04,584 Please? Please? 300 00:12:04,584 --> 00:12:06,085 Just please tell me, please. 301 00:12:06,085 --> 00:12:07,252 Okay, fine! 302 00:12:07,252 --> 00:12:09,501 You just have to swear not to tell anyone, okay? 303 00:12:09,501 --> 00:12:11,085 I swear I won't tell anyone. 304 00:12:11,085 --> 00:12:14,043 Everyone, everyone. I have a very important announcement to make. 305 00:12:14,043 --> 00:12:16,085 My code was better than Gilfoyle's. 306 00:12:16,085 --> 00:12:18,085 So it's official. 307 00:12:18,085 --> 00:12:20,584 Gilfoyle is a much worse coder than me. 308 00:12:20,584 --> 00:12:23,418 I want you all to look at him. 309 00:12:23,418 --> 00:12:25,085 Good. 310 00:12:25,085 --> 00:12:26,418 Terrible. 311 00:12:26,418 --> 00:12:27,918 Role model. 312 00:12:27,918 --> 00:12:29,252 Hateful pile of trash. 313 00:12:29,252 --> 00:12:30,793 Bullshit. 314 00:12:30,793 --> 00:12:33,626 Says who? Danny told me. He wasn't supposed to. 315 00:12:33,626 --> 00:12:35,293 Supposed to be a secret but he told me 316 00:12:35,293 --> 00:12:37,252 and now everyone's laughing at you. 317 00:12:37,252 --> 00:12:38,543 (Dinesh laughing mockingly) 318 00:12:38,543 --> 00:12:40,626 Everyone's laugh... Danny. 319 00:12:40,626 --> 00:12:41,793 What the fuck is going on? 320 00:12:41,793 --> 00:12:44,501 Did his code actually have less errors than mine? 321 00:12:44,501 --> 00:12:45,751 I don't know what to tell you. 322 00:12:45,751 --> 00:12:46,918 I checked it three times. 323 00:12:46,918 --> 00:12:48,626 And it's "fewer" errors. 324 00:12:48,626 --> 00:12:49,751 Ooh! 325 00:12:49,751 --> 00:12:51,418 This is the best day of my life! 326 00:12:52,751 --> 00:12:54,085 Congratulations. 327 00:12:59,418 --> 00:13:00,793 Thank you. 328 00:13:00,793 --> 00:13:03,168 I feel bad for gloating. 329 00:13:03,168 --> 00:13:05,293 In all seriousness, that means a lot to me. 330 00:13:05,293 --> 00:13:06,501 To show you I'm a gracious winner, 331 00:13:06,501 --> 00:13:07,751 I'll take you to a nice restaurant. 332 00:13:07,751 --> 00:13:09,501 Your favorite kind of restaurant. 333 00:13:09,501 --> 00:13:10,876 A "mis-steak" house! 334 00:13:10,876 --> 00:13:12,960 Boom! Get it? 'Cause you suck. 335 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:14,127 (laughing) 336 00:13:15,793 --> 00:13:16,793 (sighs) 337 00:13:22,668 --> 00:13:23,876 (door closes) 338 00:13:26,668 --> 00:13:28,043 (knocking) 339 00:13:32,210 --> 00:13:33,335 Yes? 340 00:13:33,335 --> 00:13:34,335 Ni hao. 341 00:13:35,335 --> 00:13:36,543 Do you know who I am? 342 00:13:36,543 --> 00:13:38,377 No. Okay, okay. 343 00:13:38,377 --> 00:13:39,668 Well, I'm the one who accidentally 344 00:13:39,668 --> 00:13:41,668 struck one of your employees with my car earlier 345 00:13:41,668 --> 00:13:44,001 and it's a personal habit of mine to make things right. 346 00:13:44,001 --> 00:13:45,335 So... 347 00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:48,168 Do you mind if I come in? 348 00:13:50,709 --> 00:13:53,543 ♪ ♪ 349 00:13:57,043 --> 00:13:58,210 Okay, what else? 350 00:13:58,210 --> 00:13:59,709 Uh, Colin from K-Hole Games called, 351 00:13:59,709 --> 00:14:01,543 checking in on the restore. 352 00:14:01,543 --> 00:14:03,210 Put him on the phone sheet. Next? 353 00:14:03,210 --> 00:14:05,709 Uh, Laurie Bream said that she received the compute credits 354 00:14:05,709 --> 00:14:06,876 and to say thank you. 355 00:14:08,418 --> 00:14:09,668 You see? 356 00:14:09,668 --> 00:14:12,709 Business and compassion are not mutually exclusive. 357 00:14:12,709 --> 00:14:15,252 In fact, sometimes going out of your way 358 00:14:15,252 --> 00:14:16,709 to help a fellow colleague 359 00:14:16,709 --> 00:14:18,876 can actually put you further ahead in business. 360 00:14:18,876 --> 00:14:20,876 Let that be a lesson to you, young Holden. 361 00:14:20,876 --> 00:14:22,168 I'm 30. 362 00:14:22,168 --> 00:14:24,210 And, uh, the CEO of a company called the Gigglybots called. 363 00:14:24,210 --> 00:14:26,293 He wants to know how to redeem the compute credits 364 00:14:26,293 --> 00:14:27,584 he just bought from Laurie Bream. 365 00:14:29,001 --> 00:14:29,960 What? 366 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:32,210 Ariel was apprehended this morning 367 00:14:32,210 --> 00:14:36,377 shoplifting machine oil from an auto parts store in Turlock. 368 00:14:36,377 --> 00:14:39,584 There was, however, no sign of Fiona. 369 00:14:39,584 --> 00:14:41,335 And with her missing, 370 00:14:41,335 --> 00:14:43,793 I have no need for compute power 371 00:14:43,793 --> 00:14:46,418 therefore no need for your compute credits. 372 00:14:46,418 --> 00:14:49,252 Selling them, I think you'll certainly agree, 373 00:14:49,252 --> 00:14:52,293 was merely a practical business decision. 374 00:14:52,293 --> 00:14:56,210 Okay, but, I gave you those credits as a gift. 375 00:14:56,210 --> 00:14:57,584 I was helping you. 376 00:14:57,584 --> 00:14:59,293 You were vomiting, remember? 377 00:14:59,293 --> 00:15:01,459 Ah, yes. Admittedly a moment of weakness. 378 00:15:01,459 --> 00:15:03,335 However, immediately after your departure 379 00:15:03,335 --> 00:15:04,751 I consumed two egg whites 380 00:15:04,751 --> 00:15:06,876 and a green bean and regained my composure. 381 00:15:06,876 --> 00:15:08,793 Laurie, when someone gives you a gift 382 00:15:08,793 --> 00:15:11,085 and you don't want it, you give it back. 383 00:15:11,085 --> 00:15:13,252 Okay? You don't just go sell that gift 384 00:15:13,252 --> 00:15:15,252 to the next fucking highest bidder-- 385 00:15:15,252 --> 00:15:17,168 Richard, mind your tone. 386 00:15:17,168 --> 00:15:19,835 Your lack of emotional discipline is troubling. 387 00:15:19,835 --> 00:15:22,293 You need to work on this. 388 00:15:22,293 --> 00:15:23,793 Or I may have serious doubts 389 00:15:23,793 --> 00:15:25,626 about granting you your series B. 390 00:15:30,127 --> 00:15:31,626 (chatting in Chinese) 391 00:15:34,252 --> 00:15:35,876 Gavin: A lot of computers in here. 392 00:15:35,876 --> 00:15:37,751 I dabble a bit in tech myself. 393 00:15:39,918 --> 00:15:41,835 All these people working here. 394 00:15:41,835 --> 00:15:44,127 You must have something coming to market soon. 395 00:15:44,127 --> 00:15:46,751 No. We have trouble with the government. 396 00:15:46,751 --> 00:15:47,793 I've heard that. 397 00:15:47,793 --> 00:15:49,543 I mean, to even operate an online platform 398 00:15:49,543 --> 00:15:51,377 inside the People's Republic of China 399 00:15:51,377 --> 00:15:54,043 you need a government-issued ICP license, right? 400 00:15:54,043 --> 00:15:56,459 I left a good life. 401 00:15:56,459 --> 00:15:57,626 Free rent. 402 00:15:57,626 --> 00:15:59,668 Great friends. 403 00:15:59,668 --> 00:16:01,293 To fail in China? 404 00:16:02,835 --> 00:16:04,377 We try to rewrite code, 405 00:16:04,377 --> 00:16:07,252 but government still won't give us license. 406 00:16:07,252 --> 00:16:08,793 Maybe we'll quit. 407 00:16:08,793 --> 00:16:10,210 Try something else. 408 00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:13,335 Do you like octopus? 409 00:16:13,335 --> 00:16:14,459 Gavin: I do. 410 00:16:14,459 --> 00:16:16,584 Is that what you're working on? 411 00:16:16,584 --> 00:16:19,043 That's a decentralized network, huh? 412 00:16:19,043 --> 00:16:21,335 Wait, what did you do there? 413 00:16:21,335 --> 00:16:24,168 Looks like you removed the data federation servers. 414 00:16:24,168 --> 00:16:27,668 Yes. And added multicasting and data projections. 415 00:16:27,668 --> 00:16:29,168 Why? That wouldn't work. 416 00:16:29,168 --> 00:16:31,377 It works. Works fine. 417 00:16:32,918 --> 00:16:35,127 Jian-Yang: Government still does not like it. 418 00:16:38,709 --> 00:16:40,127 Best of luck. 419 00:16:40,127 --> 00:16:41,377 Thanks for the tour. 420 00:16:43,459 --> 00:16:46,459 Ah, Gavin. Dim sum closes in 40 minutes. 421 00:16:46,459 --> 00:16:48,501 Holy shit! Holy fucking shit! 422 00:16:48,501 --> 00:16:49,709 That brilliant little idiot. 423 00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:51,085 He found a way around the patent. 424 00:16:51,085 --> 00:16:52,418 Sir? It's Hendricks' Internet, 425 00:16:52,418 --> 00:16:53,668 but it's not Hendricks' Internet. 426 00:16:53,668 --> 00:16:55,043 I want to share in your excitement, sir, 427 00:16:55,043 --> 00:16:57,210 but I really don't follow. That guy in there, 428 00:16:57,210 --> 00:16:59,293 he took Hendricks' software and changed it. 429 00:16:59,293 --> 00:17:00,793 So much so that it shouldn't work. 430 00:17:00,793 --> 00:17:01,960 But it does. He showed me the demo. 431 00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:04,085 And here's the thing, it's different enough 432 00:17:04,085 --> 00:17:06,252 that Hendricks' patent won't cover it. 433 00:17:06,252 --> 00:17:08,293 Are you sure? Of course I'm fucking sure. 434 00:17:08,293 --> 00:17:09,543 I wrote that patent, Hoover! 435 00:17:09,543 --> 00:17:11,584 I've got a hundred engineers back at Hooli 436 00:17:11,584 --> 00:17:13,168 trying to get around it. They failed. 437 00:17:13,168 --> 00:17:15,252 But somehow that monosyllabic moron 438 00:17:15,252 --> 00:17:16,835 just stumbled into it. 439 00:17:16,835 --> 00:17:18,377 I need that kid's code. 440 00:17:18,377 --> 00:17:20,043 I hope that book you're reading is for work. 441 00:17:20,043 --> 00:17:21,960 Oh, absolutely... But if you wanna read for fun, 442 00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:23,876 you should read Gilfoyle's favorite author, 443 00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:25,584 George "Error" Martin. 444 00:17:25,584 --> 00:17:27,918 Hear that? We're all making jokes at your expense. 445 00:17:27,918 --> 00:17:29,584 Is that what's happening? 446 00:17:29,584 --> 00:17:33,668 As your supervisor, I wanted to inform you that there is a first aid kit, 447 00:17:33,668 --> 00:17:35,835 but if you need blood, don't go to Gilfoyle 448 00:17:35,835 --> 00:17:37,168 'cause he's type-O. 449 00:17:37,168 --> 00:17:39,293 Typo! (laughs) 450 00:17:39,293 --> 00:17:41,252 They love it. They're all laughing at you. 451 00:17:41,252 --> 00:17:44,085 Pixar's hit animated motion picture "Toy Story." 452 00:17:44,085 --> 00:17:46,709 Pixar's hit animated motion picture "Toy Story." 453 00:17:46,709 --> 00:17:48,584 (elevator dings) Pixar's... oh hey! 454 00:17:48,584 --> 00:17:49,835 Were you guys talking about 455 00:17:49,835 --> 00:17:52,085 Pixar's hit animated motion picture "Toy Story"? 456 00:17:52,085 --> 00:17:54,252 No. 'Cause Gilfoyle's favorite character 457 00:17:54,252 --> 00:17:56,085 is "Bugs" Lightyear. 458 00:17:56,085 --> 00:17:57,043 (laughing) 459 00:17:57,043 --> 00:17:58,751 We're all laughing at you, Gilfoyle. 460 00:17:58,751 --> 00:18:00,793 Monica (on phone): Are you still at Eklow? Uh, no. 461 00:18:00,793 --> 00:18:02,252 I'm back at the office. 462 00:18:02,252 --> 00:18:04,210 You know, Jared was right. 463 00:18:04,210 --> 00:18:06,835 I showed compassion to someone who deserves none. 464 00:18:06,835 --> 00:18:08,626 Nothing is personal with Laurie. 465 00:18:08,626 --> 00:18:11,626 Alright? It's what makes her such a great VC. 466 00:18:11,626 --> 00:18:12,709 And in all candor, 467 00:18:12,709 --> 00:18:14,668 a very challenging business partner. 468 00:18:14,668 --> 00:18:17,127 I gotta be honest, it's really nice not having her in the office. 469 00:18:17,127 --> 00:18:20,876 Yeah, well, now I have to buy my own compute credits back 470 00:18:20,876 --> 00:18:22,293 with money I don't have... It's that one. 471 00:18:22,293 --> 00:18:25,085 ...which was the whole point of getting series B. 472 00:18:25,085 --> 00:18:26,459 I'm telling you, unless you have money 473 00:18:26,459 --> 00:18:27,835 you can't get-- (honks horn) Excuse me. 474 00:18:29,918 --> 00:18:32,127 Richard. Hello. 475 00:18:32,127 --> 00:18:33,626 I'm gonna have to call you back. 476 00:18:33,626 --> 00:18:34,584 Richard? 477 00:18:34,584 --> 00:18:36,001 What the-- Pied Piper, right? 478 00:18:36,001 --> 00:18:38,127 Uh, yeah. What is she doing here? 479 00:18:38,127 --> 00:18:40,127 How did she-- Credit card works, 480 00:18:40,127 --> 00:18:41,418 I don't ask questions. 481 00:18:42,793 --> 00:18:44,252 Well this is fucking weird. 482 00:18:44,252 --> 00:18:45,377 I've seen weirder. 483 00:18:45,377 --> 00:18:46,960 Driver: So should I just... 484 00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:48,960 leave it on the sidewalk or what? 485 00:18:50,127 --> 00:18:52,168 $50,000 for the whole thing. 486 00:18:52,168 --> 00:18:53,335 All you have to do 487 00:18:53,335 --> 00:18:55,751 is give me your hard drive with the code base on it. 488 00:18:55,751 --> 00:18:57,793 Oh, and the underlying rights to the code 489 00:18:57,793 --> 00:18:59,918 in perpetuity throughout the universe. 490 00:18:59,918 --> 00:19:01,168 Sign there. 491 00:19:03,835 --> 00:19:05,918 No. Okay. 492 00:19:05,918 --> 00:19:08,501 I like the way you negotiate. 493 00:19:08,501 --> 00:19:09,501 $100,000. 494 00:19:09,501 --> 00:19:11,918 Final offer. Take it or leave it. 495 00:19:11,918 --> 00:19:13,543 (speaking Chinese) 496 00:19:15,668 --> 00:19:17,501 (laughter) 497 00:19:17,501 --> 00:19:20,668 He said, "If oil company wants to buy your house, 498 00:19:20,668 --> 00:19:23,043 there is oil underneath." 499 00:19:23,043 --> 00:19:24,459 But, I'm not an oil company. 500 00:19:24,459 --> 00:19:27,543 No, you are Gavin Belson. 501 00:19:27,543 --> 00:19:29,085 Oh, so you do know who I am. 502 00:19:29,085 --> 00:19:30,210 I'm smart. 503 00:19:30,210 --> 00:19:32,210 Just name your price. 504 00:19:32,210 --> 00:19:34,210 I'm not going to sell you my code 505 00:19:34,210 --> 00:19:36,252 until I know why you want it. 506 00:19:38,876 --> 00:19:39,876 Good-bye. 507 00:19:43,835 --> 00:19:45,210 Hello. 508 00:19:45,210 --> 00:19:48,043 Whoa. This is so cool. 509 00:19:49,085 --> 00:19:50,210 So, uh... 510 00:19:50,210 --> 00:19:51,584 apparently Ariel and I 511 00:19:51,584 --> 00:19:53,876 were the only people that talked to her 512 00:19:53,876 --> 00:19:55,210 and he's in jail. 513 00:19:55,210 --> 00:19:58,876 So... she came looking for me at Pied Piper. 514 00:19:58,876 --> 00:20:00,543 And you brought her here? 515 00:20:00,543 --> 00:20:03,293 Can we keep it? No. No, we cannot. 516 00:20:03,293 --> 00:20:05,377 Richard, she's stolen property. 517 00:20:05,377 --> 00:20:06,418 And she's worth a fortune. 518 00:20:06,418 --> 00:20:08,418 We-- we have to take her back to Laurie. 519 00:20:08,418 --> 00:20:11,876 Fiona, what's 12 times 157? 520 00:20:11,876 --> 00:20:15,918 Twelve times 157 is 1,884. 521 00:20:15,918 --> 00:20:17,960 (gasps) So cool. 522 00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:19,085 Hey, is she right? 523 00:20:19,085 --> 00:20:20,335 (phone chimes) 524 00:20:20,335 --> 00:20:23,918 Hey Siri, what's 12 times 157? 525 00:20:23,918 --> 00:20:25,835 Siri: It's 1,884. 526 00:20:25,835 --> 00:20:27,918 Oh, no way! 527 00:20:27,918 --> 00:20:29,418 Richard-- No, no, no. Look. 528 00:20:29,418 --> 00:20:32,751 You were right. I was lacking in emotional discipline. 529 00:20:32,751 --> 00:20:34,418 And I'm not gonna let that happen again. 530 00:20:34,418 --> 00:20:35,584 From now on, 531 00:20:35,584 --> 00:20:38,584 I'm leaving my emotions off the fucking table, baby! 532 00:20:38,584 --> 00:20:40,960 Okay, but-- Laurie's gonna get her robot back. 533 00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:42,001 Tomorrow. 534 00:20:42,001 --> 00:20:44,418 After she gives us something in return. 535 00:20:44,418 --> 00:20:47,960 A signed series B term sheet. 536 00:20:49,418 --> 00:20:50,960 Laurie Bream, please. 537 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:55,252 Oh, you bet your fucking ass, I'll hold. 538 00:20:56,626 --> 00:20:58,626 Gavin: I'm not asking you to cut off his testicles 539 00:20:58,626 --> 00:21:00,085 and shove 'em down his throat, 540 00:21:00,085 --> 00:21:02,293 shoot him in the back of the head Triad style. 541 00:21:02,293 --> 00:21:04,335 I just need you to get this kid's code for me. 542 00:21:04,335 --> 00:21:06,293 By whatever means necessary. 543 00:21:06,293 --> 00:21:08,584 That is to say through extortion or threats. 544 00:21:08,584 --> 00:21:10,793 Well... Gavin. 545 00:21:10,793 --> 00:21:13,043 As I told you, this is new China. 546 00:21:13,043 --> 00:21:14,085 Things have changed. 547 00:21:14,085 --> 00:21:15,793 You're telling me you run a factory this big 548 00:21:15,793 --> 00:21:17,459 and you have no connections to the Party? 549 00:21:17,459 --> 00:21:19,626 No way to help this kid see the light? 550 00:21:19,626 --> 00:21:20,960 Come on! 551 00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:23,793 Look, Yao, either you convince this kid to sell his code to me, 552 00:21:23,793 --> 00:21:25,335 or I'm pulling my box contract 553 00:21:25,335 --> 00:21:26,835 and I'm taking it somewhere else. 554 00:21:26,835 --> 00:21:28,001 There are plenty of other countries 555 00:21:28,001 --> 00:21:30,001 in this part of the world with cheap labor pools. 556 00:21:30,001 --> 00:21:32,043 There's no new Bangladesh. 557 00:21:32,043 --> 00:21:33,835 There's just Bangladesh. 558 00:21:33,835 --> 00:21:35,210 (sighs) 559 00:21:36,876 --> 00:21:38,668 I'll see what I can do. 560 00:21:38,668 --> 00:21:39,793 Excellent. 561 00:21:41,835 --> 00:21:43,335 Jared, I told Laurie 562 00:21:43,335 --> 00:21:45,668 that we'd get Fiona back to Eklow around 9:00. 563 00:21:45,668 --> 00:21:46,751 So, when you get here 564 00:21:46,751 --> 00:21:48,293 just pull up to the garage and we'll... 565 00:21:50,293 --> 00:21:53,043 Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! She's gone! 566 00:21:53,043 --> 00:21:54,668 She escaped. How the fuck did she... 567 00:21:54,668 --> 00:21:56,584 What? 568 00:21:56,584 --> 00:21:57,709 Wait, where? 569 00:21:57,709 --> 00:21:59,709 Jared: It's kind of hard to explain, but... 570 00:21:59,709 --> 00:22:03,543 a campfire smells sad 571 00:22:03,543 --> 00:22:06,127 and exciting at the same time. 572 00:22:06,127 --> 00:22:07,835 Fiona: I understand. 573 00:22:07,835 --> 00:22:09,001 Yeah? (laughs) 574 00:22:10,252 --> 00:22:11,543 Hey. Hey! 575 00:22:11,543 --> 00:22:12,793 What are you doing out here? 576 00:22:12,793 --> 00:22:14,127 Oh, uh, well... 577 00:22:14,127 --> 00:22:16,543 a few hours into our conversation, 578 00:22:16,543 --> 00:22:19,085 Fiona mentioned she'd never seen the ocean. 579 00:22:19,085 --> 00:22:21,043 So I thought about driving her there 580 00:22:21,043 --> 00:22:22,459 but then I realized since it was dark 581 00:22:22,459 --> 00:22:24,876 she wouldn't really appreciate its majesty 582 00:22:24,876 --> 00:22:27,210 so I brought her out here to the pool. 583 00:22:28,501 --> 00:22:32,501 So you've just been out here all night, talking... 584 00:22:32,501 --> 00:22:33,543 to a robot? 585 00:22:33,543 --> 00:22:37,168 Fiona, would you excuse us for a second? 586 00:22:38,210 --> 00:22:39,210 Yes. 587 00:22:40,751 --> 00:22:42,210 Come on. Come here. 588 00:22:42,210 --> 00:22:43,543 Okay. 589 00:22:43,543 --> 00:22:47,459 I know that Fiona is a man-made piece of digital equipment 590 00:22:47,459 --> 00:22:48,960 Okay. powered by artificial intelligence. 591 00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:51,210 Good. But the level of that intelligence 592 00:22:51,210 --> 00:22:53,210 is-- it's gobsmacking! 593 00:22:53,210 --> 00:22:56,543 I mean, I don't remember ever having a conversation 594 00:22:56,543 --> 00:22:58,584 like the one I've been having with her 595 00:22:58,584 --> 00:22:59,793 over the last 12 hours. 596 00:22:59,793 --> 00:23:01,001 Twelve hours? 597 00:23:01,001 --> 00:23:02,335 We have so much in common. 598 00:23:02,335 --> 00:23:03,751 We discussed our phobias. 599 00:23:03,751 --> 00:23:08,335 I told her that I was afraid of being found out as a fraud. 600 00:23:08,335 --> 00:23:10,960 And she told me that she's afraid of magnets. 601 00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:13,751 Look, Richard, we felt a connection. 602 00:23:13,751 --> 00:23:15,252 It's funny. 603 00:23:15,252 --> 00:23:16,335 The past few weeks, 604 00:23:16,335 --> 00:23:18,668 I've been feeling irritable and short-tempered 605 00:23:18,668 --> 00:23:20,835 and here I am on no sleep at all 606 00:23:20,835 --> 00:23:22,043 and I just feel... 607 00:23:22,043 --> 00:23:23,210 woo-hoo-hoo! 608 00:23:23,210 --> 00:23:24,252 You know? 609 00:23:24,252 --> 00:23:25,377 Hey, Jared? 610 00:23:25,377 --> 00:23:26,459 Yes, sir? 611 00:23:26,459 --> 00:23:29,043 You know how you've been practicing, 612 00:23:29,043 --> 00:23:30,043 your words, 613 00:23:30,043 --> 00:23:32,085 "emotional abstinence" on me? Yeah-huh. 614 00:23:32,085 --> 00:23:33,751 Yuh-huh. Okay. 615 00:23:33,751 --> 00:23:37,001 Well, do you think that it's maybe at all possible that because of this, 616 00:23:37,001 --> 00:23:39,918 you've got some pent-up emotional energy 617 00:23:39,918 --> 00:23:42,459 and last night you had the chance 618 00:23:42,459 --> 00:23:45,626 to release some of that pent-up emotional energy 619 00:23:45,626 --> 00:23:48,918 onto the robot? 620 00:23:48,918 --> 00:23:50,793 Her name is Fiona. 621 00:23:50,793 --> 00:23:53,876 Alright, well, I'm shutting her down 622 00:23:53,876 --> 00:23:55,168 and returning her. 623 00:23:55,168 --> 00:23:56,835 Wait, wait, wait. Okay. 624 00:23:57,960 --> 00:23:59,918 What if we didn't give her back? 625 00:23:59,918 --> 00:24:01,543 What if we called Laurie? 626 00:24:01,543 --> 00:24:03,584 We could negotiate some kind of a deal. 627 00:24:03,584 --> 00:24:06,751 Jared, whatever happened to emotional discipline, right? 628 00:24:06,751 --> 00:24:08,668 Feelings, and business... 629 00:24:08,668 --> 00:24:10,835 It's over man. Okay? 630 00:24:10,835 --> 00:24:11,960 It's over. 631 00:24:13,543 --> 00:24:15,626 (sighs heavily) 632 00:24:17,584 --> 00:24:19,584 Okay, stop looking at me, please. 633 00:24:19,584 --> 00:24:21,335 Just look-- look up there. 634 00:24:21,335 --> 00:24:22,626 (whirring) 635 00:24:22,626 --> 00:24:25,543 It's daytime, but I can see the moon. 636 00:24:29,709 --> 00:24:33,459 ♪ ♪ 637 00:24:33,459 --> 00:24:35,709 Okay, do you want to-- do you want to ride with us 638 00:24:35,709 --> 00:24:37,210 while we take her back to Eklow? 639 00:24:38,793 --> 00:24:41,293 Oh yes! Playground games. 640 00:24:41,293 --> 00:24:44,210 Gilfoyle likes to play "Suck Suck Goose." 641 00:24:45,668 --> 00:24:49,293 Oh! Or it could be "Duck Duck Goofs." 642 00:24:49,293 --> 00:24:51,168 Danny? 643 00:24:51,168 --> 00:24:53,584 Do those qualify as two separate insults? 644 00:24:53,584 --> 00:24:56,001 Uh, yeah. I believe they do. 645 00:24:56,001 --> 00:24:57,543 (gong rings) 646 00:24:59,418 --> 00:25:00,668 Why did he gong? 647 00:25:00,668 --> 00:25:03,751 Because I told the engineers that if you thought you had won, 648 00:25:03,751 --> 00:25:05,418 which you definitely have not, 649 00:25:05,418 --> 00:25:08,501 it would take you less than 24 hours to cobble together 650 00:25:08,501 --> 00:25:11,335 200 uniquely terrible insults. 651 00:25:11,335 --> 00:25:13,626 Which you have just done. 652 00:25:13,626 --> 00:25:16,668 That is why I had Danny tell you you won. 653 00:25:16,668 --> 00:25:17,876 Is that true, Danny? 654 00:25:19,043 --> 00:25:22,377 Did Gilfoyle really... beat me? 655 00:25:22,377 --> 00:25:24,085 Private audit. Can't say. 656 00:25:24,085 --> 00:25:25,918 So we don't know who actually won? 657 00:25:25,918 --> 00:25:28,459 The code contest, no. 658 00:25:28,459 --> 00:25:30,377 But, while you were running around 659 00:25:30,377 --> 00:25:33,043 racking your tiny brain for shitty insults, 660 00:25:33,043 --> 00:25:36,252 I was quietly plodding towards this victory. 661 00:25:36,252 --> 00:25:38,668 You see... 662 00:25:38,668 --> 00:25:41,252 it is I who am the tortoise. 663 00:25:41,252 --> 00:25:44,043 And you are the hairy Arab 664 00:25:44,043 --> 00:25:46,709 who can now chortle my balls. 665 00:25:46,709 --> 00:25:47,751 (gong rings) 666 00:25:47,751 --> 00:25:48,751 (applause) 667 00:25:50,709 --> 00:25:51,918 What's happening? 668 00:25:51,918 --> 00:25:53,501 Why did you do that? 669 00:25:53,501 --> 00:25:55,668 Right after you forced me to set Dinesh up, 670 00:25:55,668 --> 00:25:58,085 I told the other engineers that if you won 671 00:25:58,085 --> 00:25:59,751 you'd immediately insult Dinesh 672 00:25:59,751 --> 00:26:02,085 by saying something sexually demeaning or racist. 673 00:26:02,085 --> 00:26:03,918 And you just did both. 674 00:26:03,918 --> 00:26:05,418 I see. 675 00:26:05,418 --> 00:26:07,043 Fun at my expense. 676 00:26:07,043 --> 00:26:08,584 Now if it's alright with upper management, 677 00:26:08,584 --> 00:26:10,335 we have a shit ton of work to do. 678 00:26:10,335 --> 00:26:12,793 Yeah, like so frickin' much. 679 00:26:17,377 --> 00:26:18,626 Assholes. 680 00:26:19,876 --> 00:26:20,918 I wanna fire Danny. 681 00:26:22,210 --> 00:26:23,210 Do it. 682 00:26:24,127 --> 00:26:25,252 I'll ask Richard. 683 00:26:27,335 --> 00:26:28,960 We are at Eklow Labs. 684 00:26:30,001 --> 00:26:31,876 Yes, we are. 685 00:26:31,876 --> 00:26:33,626 The site of my creation. 686 00:26:36,626 --> 00:26:37,793 Richard? 687 00:26:37,793 --> 00:26:40,793 Do you think if I asked, they would let me visit her? 688 00:26:40,793 --> 00:26:42,335 Jared, she's gonna be okay. 689 00:26:42,335 --> 00:26:45,501 Alright? She's gonna be plugged back into her old servers, 690 00:26:45,501 --> 00:26:47,459 surrounded by familiar engineers, 691 00:26:47,459 --> 00:26:49,626 sitting on the table where she was born. 692 00:26:49,626 --> 00:26:53,626 I promise. She's going to be fine. 693 00:26:55,751 --> 00:26:57,751 (drilling) 694 00:26:57,751 --> 00:26:59,960 Extreme care with the optical sensors, gentlemen. 695 00:27:01,168 --> 00:27:03,709 Boston Dynamics needs them overnighted. 696 00:27:03,709 --> 00:27:04,835 Richard: I don't understand. 697 00:27:04,835 --> 00:27:07,335 Fiona is this company's most valuable asset. 698 00:27:07,335 --> 00:27:10,043 Yes, and as such she will garner the highest return 699 00:27:10,043 --> 00:27:13,127 when I have her dismantled and sold off for parts. 700 00:27:16,543 --> 00:27:20,168 So you're just gonna take all this promising tech 701 00:27:20,168 --> 00:27:21,335 and liquidate it? 702 00:27:21,335 --> 00:27:23,168 Yes. As quickly as I'm able. 703 00:27:23,168 --> 00:27:24,252 Dude, check it out. 704 00:27:24,252 --> 00:27:26,168 (blubbering) I'm a robot. (laughs) 705 00:27:26,168 --> 00:27:30,085 Richard, being a CEO is a terrible waste of time. 706 00:27:30,085 --> 00:27:32,043 And a horrible way to make a living. (drilling continues) 707 00:27:32,043 --> 00:27:34,127 I'll be returning to Bream-Hall immediately. 708 00:27:34,127 --> 00:27:35,459 (objects clattering) 709 00:27:35,459 --> 00:27:38,501 Speaking of... as promised. 710 00:27:38,501 --> 00:27:40,960 A term sheet for your series B. 711 00:27:40,960 --> 00:27:42,668 Congratulations, Richard. 712 00:27:42,668 --> 00:27:43,960 Thank you. 713 00:27:45,626 --> 00:27:47,543 See? Silver lining. 714 00:27:47,543 --> 00:27:49,501 (chuckles) I told you-- 715 00:27:49,501 --> 00:27:51,377 Wait, uh. Hey, Jared... 716 00:27:51,377 --> 00:27:53,459 Don't-- Don't go over there. Don't look in that. 717 00:27:53,459 --> 00:27:55,252 Jared: Oh, Fiona... 718 00:27:55,252 --> 00:27:57,335 Come on, let's... 719 00:27:57,335 --> 00:27:59,543 (moans) Let's get out of here, huh? 720 00:27:59,543 --> 00:28:00,835 What do you say we go to the office 721 00:28:00,835 --> 00:28:02,168 and you can make me some tea? 722 00:28:02,168 --> 00:28:03,584 That might make you feel better? 723 00:28:14,043 --> 00:28:15,459 So, did he sign? (door closes) 724 00:28:15,459 --> 00:28:16,835 It's done. 725 00:28:16,835 --> 00:28:18,459 Fuck yes! 726 00:28:18,459 --> 00:28:19,543 How'd you get him to do it? 727 00:28:19,543 --> 00:28:21,459 I made it clear it would be better for him 728 00:28:21,459 --> 00:28:24,210 to hand over the company and leave town immediately. 729 00:28:24,210 --> 00:28:26,335 That's some old Chinese shit right there. 730 00:28:26,335 --> 00:28:28,043 I told you, you're a badass, Yao. 731 00:28:29,626 --> 00:28:31,918 Wait, this lists you as the buyer, not me. 732 00:28:31,918 --> 00:28:34,418 So, what's the plan here? You're gonna sign it over to me then? 733 00:28:34,418 --> 00:28:38,918 Gavin, I'm afraid I will no longer be able to manufacture your boxes. 734 00:28:38,918 --> 00:28:41,335 You see, my company will be too busy 735 00:28:41,335 --> 00:28:43,127 manufacturing a new device, 736 00:28:43,127 --> 00:28:47,043 built on a radically better technology that I now own 737 00:28:47,043 --> 00:28:49,793 that will quickly render yours obsolete. 738 00:28:49,793 --> 00:28:51,543 Here in China, and, 739 00:28:51,543 --> 00:28:54,252 according to the U.S. patent office, 740 00:28:54,252 --> 00:28:56,085 in America as well. 741 00:28:56,085 --> 00:28:57,252 (woman speaking in Chinese) 742 00:28:57,252 --> 00:28:59,418 Oh, the children have returned to sing for you. 743 00:28:59,418 --> 00:29:02,584 (singing in Chinese) 744 00:29:05,501 --> 00:29:07,335 (speaks Chinese) 745 00:29:07,335 --> 00:29:11,001 ♪ My chains, new gold watch, made in China ♪ 746 00:29:11,001 --> 00:29:14,418 ♪ We play ping pong ball, made in China ♪ 747 00:29:14,418 --> 00:29:17,835 ♪ The bitch mother says pay, made in China ♪ 748 00:29:17,835 --> 00:29:21,459 ♪ Yeah Higher Brothers' black car, made in China ♪ 749 00:29:21,459 --> 00:29:23,210 ♪ She said that she didn't love me ♪ 750 00:29:23,210 --> 00:29:24,793 ♪ She said that she didn't love me ♪ 751 00:29:24,793 --> 00:29:26,626 ♪ She said that she didn't love me ♪ 752 00:29:26,626 --> 00:29:28,418 ♪ She lied, she lied ♪ 753 00:29:28,418 --> 00:29:30,085 ♪ She all made in China ♪ 754 00:29:30,085 --> 00:29:31,793 ♪ She all made in China ♪ 755 00:29:31,793 --> 00:29:33,459 ♪ She all made in China ♪ 756 00:29:33,459 --> 00:29:35,293 ♪ She lied, she lied ♪ 757 00:29:35,293 --> 00:29:37,626 (singing in Chinese) 758 00:29:48,668 --> 00:29:50,960 (continues singing in Chinese) 759 00:30:04,001 --> 00:30:06,501 (continues singing in Chinese) 760 00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:14,501 ♪ She lied, she lied ♪ 761 00:30:19,127 --> 00:30:21,418 DINESH CHUGTAI: I need to maintain my Tesla superiority. 762 00:30:21,418 --> 00:30:23,293 Any one of these millennials can buy one. 763 00:30:23,293 --> 00:30:24,751 How would you feel if your neighbors 764 00:30:24,751 --> 00:30:26,626 got a Tiki head bigger than yours? 765 00:30:27,793 --> 00:30:29,001 ♪ (HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 766 00:30:29,252 --> 00:30:30,960 JARED DUNN: I've been keeping track of the credits 767 00:30:30,960 --> 00:30:31,835 that you gave to Laurie. 768 00:30:32,043 --> 00:30:33,626 If we buy them back, how much would it cost? 769 00:30:33,626 --> 00:30:36,210 -One-point-six-million dollars. -What? 770 00:30:36,626 --> 00:30:39,127 BERTRAM GILFOYLE: You want an alternative to Laurie Bream? 771 00:30:39,127 --> 00:30:40,876 Well, it's Pied Piper coin. 772 00:30:40,876 --> 00:30:41,876 MONICA HALL: Before you walk away, 773 00:30:41,876 --> 00:30:43,335 there's a friend you should talk to. 774 00:30:43,335 --> 00:30:45,543 -You did 36 ICOs? Did they work? -Yup. 775 00:30:45,543 --> 00:30:48,252 It's not always about money. Sometimes, it's about wisdom. 776 00:30:48,543 --> 00:30:49,543 So, you lost it all? 777 00:30:49,876 --> 00:30:52,501 (LAUGHS) Richard! If I didn't love this crazy guy so much, 778 00:30:52,501 --> 00:30:53,543 I'd knock his teeth out. 779 00:30:53,543 --> 00:30:55,043 ♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪