1 00:00:08,551 --> 00:00:12,597 Okay, one extra-large virgin Margarita. 2 00:00:13,514 --> 00:00:15,808 - Thank you, Richard. - What took you so long? 3 00:00:15,892 --> 00:00:18,186 Uh, iactually... uh, I meta girl. 4 00:00:18,477 --> 00:00:20,313 It's called the bartender, she works here. 5 00:00:20,396 --> 00:00:21,898 No, no. It's a real girl. 6 00:00:21,981 --> 00:00:23,941 And I actually got her real phone number. 7 00:00:24,275 --> 00:00:26,652 Check you out, Mr. Casanova. 8 00:00:26,736 --> 00:00:28,112 Where is this individual? 9 00:00:28,696 --> 00:00:31,199 Um, she's right over there. 10 00:00:32,450 --> 00:00:33,784 The tall dude? 11 00:00:34,035 --> 00:00:35,328 No, behind him. 12 00:00:35,411 --> 00:00:38,098 Oh, she must be hiding behind that attractive girl in the red sweater. 13 00:00:38,122 --> 00:00:40,583 No, it is the attractive girl in the red sweater. 14 00:00:40,666 --> 00:00:41,852 - Oh... - Please stop looking at her. 15 00:00:41,876 --> 00:00:43,336 She's magnificent. 16 00:00:43,419 --> 00:00:44,754 You sure it's not the tall guy? 17 00:00:44,837 --> 00:00:49,050 Why are we surprised that young Richard is garnering the attention of ladies? 18 00:00:49,383 --> 00:00:50,885 After all, he's king again. 19 00:00:50,968 --> 00:00:52,136 Women like that. 20 00:00:52,220 --> 00:00:54,639 Okay, so she's a founder hounder. 21 00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:56,724 Come on, no, it's not like that. 22 00:00:56,807 --> 00:00:59,227 But you did tell her that you're the ceo of your own company? 23 00:00:59,310 --> 00:01:00,436 It came up. 24 00:01:00,519 --> 00:01:04,119 But I mean, honestly, how else was I going to explain that me and my friends were at a bar? 25 00:01:04,148 --> 00:01:05,191 That is a good point. 26 00:01:05,274 --> 00:01:08,361 Anytime you're near a woman, it is important to explain why. 27 00:01:08,444 --> 00:01:10,571 Othennise, they get nervous. 28 00:01:10,821 --> 00:01:17,245 Gentlemen, to pied Piper's past, and now present, ceo. 29 00:01:17,328 --> 00:01:18,579 Oh, what about future? 30 00:01:18,955 --> 00:01:21,249 Jared, we'll worry about that later. 31 00:01:21,332 --> 00:01:23,167 Tonight is about Richard. 32 00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:24,835 To Richard. 33 00:01:36,806 --> 00:01:39,183 I think you'll find I'm a pretty tolerant boss, 34 00:01:39,267 --> 00:01:42,895 but, gleb, your last commit, you did use spaces over tabs. 35 00:01:43,229 --> 00:01:45,815 Um, I don't know why you'd commit to that. 36 00:01:45,898 --> 00:01:49,151 Uh, so, just tell me why on earth you would do something like that. 37 00:01:49,235 --> 00:01:52,113 Is not so big a deal. They're very much the same. Yes? 38 00:01:52,196 --> 00:01:54,240 Yes, yes, he's right. They're very much the same. 39 00:01:54,323 --> 00:01:55,950 No, no, sorry, they're not the same. 40 00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:57,910 At least not in my book. Um, um... 41 00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,538 One is right, and the other is wrong. 42 00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:02,957 Why didn't anyone tell gleb to use tabs? 43 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:05,376 Yeah, we did. And it's in the company style guide. 44 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:09,797 I just don't think gleb realized how seriously Richard takes this stuff. 45 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:11,924 Yeah, I've honestly never understood it myself. 46 00:02:12,008 --> 00:02:14,927 I mean, once the code goes through the compiler, 47 00:02:15,011 --> 00:02:16,363 there's effectively no difference. 48 00:02:16,387 --> 00:02:19,140 I know, but coders go, like, batshit over it. 49 00:02:19,223 --> 00:02:23,936 At hooli, I once saw two engineers get into a fight so vicious, 50 00:02:24,020 --> 00:02:25,438 they almost made physical contact. 51 00:02:25,521 --> 00:02:26,521 What? 52 00:02:26,564 --> 00:02:28,316 Richard: Okay, guys, back to work. 53 00:02:28,399 --> 00:02:32,653 Uh, gleb, Sanjay, everyone, do you understand tabs? 54 00:02:32,737 --> 00:02:35,489 Yes, yes. You have made this very clear. As clear as crystal. 55 00:02:35,573 --> 00:02:36,573 Richard: Okay. 56 00:02:36,615 --> 00:02:39,368 Good, that's my little thing, and I'll hand you back to dinesh now. 57 00:02:39,452 --> 00:02:44,415 He's the man with the plan, and the pretty cool tan. 58 00:02:45,249 --> 00:02:47,209 - It's not a tan, it's... - Yeah, I know, I know. 59 00:02:47,293 --> 00:02:49,003 Uh, sorry. 60 00:02:49,086 --> 00:02:50,379 This is how I was born. 61 00:02:50,463 --> 00:02:53,007 Hey, elisabet. Hi. 62 00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:54,925 Um, before you go, I just wanted to say that 63 00:02:55,009 --> 00:02:58,596 I thought your last commit was very impressive. 64 00:02:59,263 --> 00:03:00,848 Oh, thank you. 65 00:03:00,931 --> 00:03:03,517 Almost as nice as the fingers that typed it. 66 00:03:05,102 --> 00:03:07,414 - Dinesh: Just call it like I see it. - Elisabet: Thank you. 67 00:03:07,438 --> 00:03:13,069 Speaking of seeing, I will see you tomorrow. 68 00:03:13,611 --> 00:03:15,154 Elisabet: Yes, you will. 69 00:03:15,446 --> 00:03:16,822 Bye-bye, dinesh. 70 00:03:16,906 --> 00:03:18,074 Bye, elisabet. 71 00:03:21,202 --> 00:03:22,370 Yuck. 72 00:03:22,495 --> 00:03:23,704 What? 73 00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:25,789 You don't actually think she was flirting, do you? 74 00:03:25,998 --> 00:03:28,667 She works here. She's paid to interact with you. 75 00:03:28,751 --> 00:03:31,391 Just like that bartender that Richard thought he was flirting with. 76 00:03:31,420 --> 00:03:33,631 Uh, actually, she's not a bartender. 77 00:03:33,714 --> 00:03:35,925 And for your information, we've been trading texts. 78 00:03:36,008 --> 00:03:38,552 And we're going for drinks later, so... 79 00:03:39,095 --> 00:03:40,304 Great. 80 00:03:40,971 --> 00:03:43,450 If you go to the bar she works at, you can probably drink for free. 81 00:03:43,474 --> 00:03:45,810 Again, uh, not a bartender. 82 00:03:46,477 --> 00:03:47,853 Okay? She works at Facebook. 83 00:03:47,937 --> 00:03:49,897 So she makes a lot more money than I do or you do. 84 00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:51,899 And she's definitely not a founder hounder. 85 00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:53,484 So, sorry. 86 00:03:55,528 --> 00:03:56,987 Yeah, none of that adds up. 87 00:03:57,071 --> 00:03:59,073 Hey, guys, check out code/rag. 88 00:03:59,156 --> 00:04:00,574 What, did the Gavin piece post? 89 00:04:00,658 --> 00:04:02,076 Indeed it did. 90 00:04:04,412 --> 00:04:07,164 "Gavin belson's hooli-scrub scandal." Awesome. 91 00:04:07,289 --> 00:04:10,292 Man, Gavin cannot be happy about this. 92 00:04:18,551 --> 00:04:19,552 Stay close. 93 00:04:22,972 --> 00:04:24,223 Back up, back up. 94 00:04:24,306 --> 00:04:25,951 You're on private property. Back to the sidewalk. 95 00:04:25,975 --> 00:04:26,993 You're gonna get arrested. 96 00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:28,018 Hey, Gavin! 97 00:04:28,102 --> 00:04:29,562 Hello, I'm... 98 00:04:31,355 --> 00:04:32,982 You know, a hundred years ago, 99 00:04:33,065 --> 00:04:35,693 men like me could've had people like that killed. 100 00:04:36,110 --> 00:04:37,570 Just like that. 101 00:04:37,653 --> 00:04:41,490 You think captains of industry like Andrew carnegie or Cornelius Vanderbilt 102 00:04:41,574 --> 00:04:44,160 would've batted an eyelid? Please. 103 00:04:44,702 --> 00:04:48,080 Times sure have changed. 104 00:04:50,749 --> 00:04:51,750 Or have they? 105 00:04:53,544 --> 00:04:54,545 Of course they have. 106 00:04:55,296 --> 00:04:56,922 And for the better. 107 00:04:58,507 --> 00:04:59,717 Unless... 108 00:05:02,803 --> 00:05:03,804 All right, forget it. 109 00:05:03,888 --> 00:05:05,031 What are we doing about this article? 110 00:05:05,055 --> 00:05:07,224 Can we sue this cantwell woman for libel? 111 00:05:07,308 --> 00:05:11,145 Gavin, libel laws don't really apply when what's written is true. 112 00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:14,148 It's my understanding you did in fact instruct nucleus engineers 113 00:05:14,231 --> 00:05:16,567 - to obscure negative hooli search... - I know what I did. 114 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:20,237 Forget libel. What about this unnamed hooli insider she keeps quoting? 115 00:05:20,321 --> 00:05:24,700 Everything this person is saying is obviously covered by a nondisclosure agreement. 116 00:05:24,783 --> 00:05:26,243 Let's sue that person. 117 00:05:26,410 --> 00:05:28,454 We don't know who that person is. 118 00:05:28,621 --> 00:05:31,707 And reporters generally don't give up their sources. 119 00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:34,830 Well, then I'll just have to light a fire under this reporter's ass, won't I? 120 00:05:35,044 --> 00:05:40,925 You know, there was a time, not so long ago, when it could've been a literal fire. 121 00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:45,554 But, as discussed, those days are gone. 122 00:05:46,722 --> 00:05:47,932 Unless... 123 00:05:49,767 --> 00:05:50,768 All right, forget it. 124 00:05:51,143 --> 00:05:54,313 You people are useless. Thank you. You're excused. 125 00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:06,951 It's Gavin belson for c.J. Cantwell, please. She'll know what it's regarding. 126 00:06:09,370 --> 00:06:11,872 Now, the stage should be here. 127 00:06:12,373 --> 00:06:14,625 With yeezy or someone comparable. 128 00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:17,795 Now, I have yet to land on a theme. 129 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:22,466 Most people who rent Alcatraz for parties tend to go with the prison theme. 130 00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:28,097 How much would it cost to make this look as if it were never a prison at all? 131 00:06:28,389 --> 00:06:29,807 Spare no expense. 132 00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,892 And if you think it would be cool, 133 00:06:31,976 --> 00:06:35,437 I would love to have some sort of chocolate moat here, 134 00:06:35,521 --> 00:06:39,608 with little boats floating down it filled with Graham crackers and marshmallows. 135 00:06:39,692 --> 00:06:41,569 It's been a childhood dream of mine. 136 00:06:41,652 --> 00:06:44,154 And get the best chocolatier. We want to impress. 137 00:06:44,697 --> 00:06:47,491 I'm inviting every asshole from the valley to attend. 138 00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:50,244 - You're inviting assholes? - Absolutely. 139 00:06:50,327 --> 00:06:52,037 Assholes, shit dongles. 140 00:06:52,121 --> 00:06:56,584 Any foe or enemy I've made over my storied career will be here. 141 00:06:56,667 --> 00:07:01,171 That way, when I take the stage and unleash the power of bachmanity, 142 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:03,841 they'll all be in the front row. 143 00:07:04,675 --> 00:07:07,303 Erlich, uh, can we talk for a second? 144 00:07:09,096 --> 00:07:10,097 What is it, big head? 145 00:07:10,180 --> 00:07:11,866 I thought I told you to go watch something on your iPad. 146 00:07:11,890 --> 00:07:13,392 I think we may have a problem. 147 00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:15,436 That code/rag reporter I talked to 148 00:07:15,519 --> 00:07:18,314 says that Gavin belson is threatening to sue her 149 00:07:18,397 --> 00:07:20,065 if she doesn't tell him who she spoke to. 150 00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:23,152 - So? - So, she spoke to me. 151 00:07:23,235 --> 00:07:26,405 No publicity is bad publicity. This might be great timing. 152 00:07:26,488 --> 00:07:29,491 Exactly the reason that we are partners. 153 00:07:29,575 --> 00:07:33,621 Okay, yeah, except if Gavin finds out it was me that talked to the reporter, 154 00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:35,789 then he'll know I violated my nda. 155 00:07:35,873 --> 00:07:39,376 And then he could come after my entire settlement if that happens. 156 00:07:39,460 --> 00:07:40,628 All two million. 157 00:07:40,711 --> 00:07:42,546 I mean, 20 million. 158 00:07:44,340 --> 00:07:46,842 Big head, I'm not going to yell. 159 00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:48,761 And I'm not going to hit you. 160 00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:51,055 I'm just gonna ask you nicely, 161 00:07:51,889 --> 00:07:55,809 why in the holy fuck didn't you tell me you signed an nda, 162 00:07:55,893 --> 00:07:58,729 you sweet, helpless little piece of shit? 163 00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,481 Well, that's the thing about the nda, 164 00:08:00,564 --> 00:08:03,734 is that the nda is actually covered under the nda. 165 00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:07,237 So if I told you about the nda, it would've been a violation of the nda. 166 00:08:07,321 --> 00:08:10,240 And what about speaking with the reporter? What would that be? 167 00:08:11,241 --> 00:08:13,077 Yeah. Shit. 168 00:08:14,662 --> 00:08:16,955 So, what do you think I should do? 169 00:08:17,039 --> 00:08:18,666 - I could call her back and... - No. 170 00:08:18,749 --> 00:08:21,627 Let me handle it. You go wait in the helicopter. 171 00:08:21,710 --> 00:08:22,753 -Okay. 172 00:08:25,839 --> 00:08:27,817 Sasha, I'm going to need to go back to the mainland. 173 00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:28,842 Oh, is there a problem? 174 00:08:28,926 --> 00:08:31,595 Oh, no, no, no. Full steam ahead. 175 00:08:31,679 --> 00:08:33,263 Mainland. 176 00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:35,599 This is an island. 177 00:08:36,350 --> 00:08:38,268 That's the theme. 178 00:08:38,352 --> 00:08:39,728 Hawaiian. 179 00:08:40,646 --> 00:08:42,398 We'll have a luau. 180 00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:46,229 Dinesh: Yeah, somebody called me that in high school, 181 00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:47,861 and the nickname just stuck. 182 00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:49,905 Pakistani Denzel? 183 00:08:49,988 --> 00:08:53,701 I mean, I don't see it. But everybody else does. So... 184 00:08:54,118 --> 00:08:57,705 Maybe they should call him American dinesh? 185 00:08:57,788 --> 00:08:59,373 Stop. 186 00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:01,125 Only if you stop first. 187 00:09:01,208 --> 00:09:02,977 - No, you stop first. - Elisabet: You stop first. 188 00:09:03,001 --> 00:09:04,854 - You go first. - Elisabet: No, / think you should. 189 00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:07,131 Okay, I'll stop. Bye. 190 00:09:07,631 --> 00:09:08,841 What's your end game here? 191 00:09:08,924 --> 00:09:10,467 You think after your tired rap, 192 00:09:10,551 --> 00:09:13,470 she's going to hop on a plane, fly halfway across the world, 193 00:09:14,346 --> 00:09:15,389 and fuck you? 194 00:09:15,472 --> 00:09:17,015 My motivations are pure. 195 00:09:17,433 --> 00:09:19,560 Her and I have, like, a real connection. 196 00:09:19,643 --> 00:09:22,521 She's so, like, nice and she's so down-to-earth, 197 00:09:22,604 --> 00:09:26,525 that it's like she has no idea how attractive she is. 198 00:09:26,650 --> 00:09:28,610 You don't know how attractive she is. 199 00:09:28,694 --> 00:09:31,739 Packet loss over Estonian broadband is terrible. 200 00:09:31,822 --> 00:09:32,990 She could be hideous. 201 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:36,160 Well, I can't imagine that would matter to dinesh one iota. 202 00:09:37,828 --> 00:09:38,829 Right. 203 00:09:38,912 --> 00:09:43,000 'Cause she's nice and very talented and has a great laugh. 204 00:09:43,083 --> 00:09:45,043 And with any luck, she's not a dogface. 205 00:09:46,962 --> 00:09:48,589 How was your date with winnie? 206 00:09:49,298 --> 00:09:52,968 Uh, well, pretty good, considering she's still in the other room. 207 00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:55,179 Baller, you got lucky on the first date. 208 00:09:55,512 --> 00:09:57,556 Yeah, did a little bit, not everything. 209 00:09:57,639 --> 00:09:59,433 I mean, I slept in myjeans. 210 00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:02,853 Well, take your time. Hunger is the best sauce. 211 00:10:02,936 --> 00:10:04,563 You're right. Uh... 212 00:10:04,646 --> 00:10:07,775 We did a little bit of under the shirts and light finger banging. 213 00:10:08,317 --> 00:10:09,568 Oh, hey. 214 00:10:15,991 --> 00:10:17,618 - Hey, I'm winnie. - Oh. 215 00:10:17,701 --> 00:10:18,952 Hi, I'm dinesh. 216 00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:20,412 Hi, I'm Jared. 217 00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:23,248 - It is an honor to meet you. - Okay. 218 00:10:23,624 --> 00:10:24,917 God, what a pleasure. 219 00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:26,376 Thanks. 220 00:10:27,753 --> 00:10:29,046 I'm gilfoyle. 221 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:30,255 Are you a bartender? 222 00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:32,049 I work at Facebook. 223 00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:33,592 As a bartender? 224 00:10:33,675 --> 00:10:35,594 I had a stuffed animal named winnie. 225 00:10:35,677 --> 00:10:36,678 Winnie: Oh, wow. 226 00:10:36,762 --> 00:10:37,989 Jared: I mean, it wasn't technically an animal, 227 00:10:38,013 --> 00:10:41,183 I took a ziploc bag and I stuffed it with old newspaper, 228 00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:42,810 and then I drew a smile on it. 229 00:10:42,893 --> 00:10:45,145 Okay, well, shall we have some coffee, milady? 230 00:10:45,229 --> 00:10:47,481 - Sure. Let's do it. - Okay. All right. 231 00:10:47,940 --> 00:10:50,234 We're already on to elizabethan nicknames. 232 00:10:50,609 --> 00:10:52,069 This is serious. 233 00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:54,154 They'll be ren faire-ing soon. 234 00:10:54,238 --> 00:10:55,280 Jared: It's healthy. 235 00:10:56,323 --> 00:11:01,411 And now that Richard's dating, in solidarity, I think I might get back out there myself. 236 00:11:01,870 --> 00:11:04,206 You make it sound like you've chosen not to date. 237 00:11:04,289 --> 00:11:07,000 Yeah, absolutely. I wanted to focus on pied Piper. 238 00:11:07,084 --> 00:11:11,338 But, yeah, maybe now I'll fan out my plumage, so to speak, 239 00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:14,508 and see what pretty birdies might share my nest. 240 00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:18,053 Hey, Jared, if you fuck any pretty birdies in my server room, 241 00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:19,888 put a tie on the doorknob, won't you? 242 00:11:19,972 --> 00:11:22,140 As a signal. Yeah, good thinking. 243 00:11:23,267 --> 00:11:25,936 Okay, so I'll just get the car keys, and then give you a lift home. 244 00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:27,104 Okay, milady? 245 00:11:27,271 --> 00:11:29,147 - Milord. - Oh, milady. 246 00:11:31,108 --> 00:11:32,109 Okay. 247 00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:37,322 So, Richard tells me you guys are building deep nets into your platform? 248 00:11:37,406 --> 00:11:38,615 Oh, really? 249 00:11:38,699 --> 00:11:41,201 What other company secrets did he blab to you? 250 00:11:41,285 --> 00:11:44,454 Well, I'm a bartender. Iwouldn't understand all the science-y talk, right? 251 00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:45,622 Touché. 252 00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:48,000 So you do ai at Facebook? 253 00:11:48,083 --> 00:11:52,045 No, but when I was at mit, I did my master's thesis on game-playing als. 254 00:11:52,129 --> 00:11:53,672 I did a lot of machine learning stuff. 255 00:11:53,755 --> 00:11:55,424 For gaming? How does that work? 256 00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:56,508 It's on my github. 257 00:11:56,592 --> 00:11:57,843 Do you want to check it out? 258 00:11:58,176 --> 00:11:59,896 Gavin said he was gonna haul me into court, 259 00:11:59,970 --> 00:12:03,724 and have a judge compel me to give up my source or go to jail. 260 00:12:03,807 --> 00:12:05,392 Okay? I am not going to jail. 261 00:12:05,517 --> 00:12:07,895 No, no one's going to jail, c.J. 262 00:12:07,978 --> 00:12:11,523 Although, if you did, going to jail for protecting your source 263 00:12:11,607 --> 00:12:14,276 would make you some kind of first amendment hero. 264 00:12:14,359 --> 00:12:16,629 It's pretty much the best thing that can happen to a journalist. 265 00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:18,405 Journalist? I'm a tech blogger, okay? 266 00:12:18,488 --> 00:12:20,574 I write stories for the Internet about the Internet. 267 00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:22,492 I am not going to jail for that. 268 00:12:22,576 --> 00:12:25,329 I know it is an inconsequential shitjob. 269 00:12:25,829 --> 00:12:28,749 It doesn't really contribute to culture in any way whatsoever. 270 00:12:28,832 --> 00:12:32,085 We've established that you don't have anyjournalistic integrity, 271 00:12:32,169 --> 00:12:37,341 but what would it cost to buy you some? 272 00:12:41,678 --> 00:12:42,947 Winnie: And then I figured out a way 273 00:12:42,971 --> 00:12:45,891 to train a convolutional net to play atari 2600 games. 274 00:12:45,974 --> 00:12:47,684 - Uh-oh. - What? 275 00:12:48,060 --> 00:12:49,227 Spaces. 276 00:12:49,645 --> 00:12:51,730 Yeah, so what, you guys use tabs? 277 00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:53,565 In this house, yes. 278 00:12:53,649 --> 00:12:58,028 Richard is a bit of a zealot in the tabs v. Spaces holy war. 279 00:12:58,153 --> 00:12:59,947 I get that, for his company. Sure. 280 00:13:00,030 --> 00:13:01,865 This goes much deeper. 281 00:13:01,949 --> 00:13:05,077 I think he believes that people who use spaces are less than. 282 00:13:06,119 --> 00:13:08,246 - Huh... - I wouldn't mention this to Richard. 283 00:13:08,413 --> 00:13:09,974 You don't want to see him throw a hissy fit. 284 00:13:09,998 --> 00:13:12,209 Okay. Shall we away, milady? 285 00:13:13,502 --> 00:13:14,628 Nice to meet you guys. 286 00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:16,046 Have fun. 287 00:13:17,422 --> 00:13:19,508 - Bye. - Gilfoyle: Bye. 288 00:13:20,217 --> 00:13:22,219 I actually kind of liked her. 289 00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:23,822 Too bad Richard's going to fuck it up. 290 00:13:24,262 --> 00:13:26,932 So, you moved the swimming pool? 291 00:13:27,391 --> 00:13:31,645 Yeah, it just felt like it was way too far from the house, like, crazy far. 292 00:13:31,728 --> 00:13:34,481 So I had this company come and just move it closer. 293 00:13:34,564 --> 00:13:37,985 Uh-huh. But then you moved it back? 294 00:13:38,527 --> 00:13:41,527 Yeah, turns out the guy who built this place knew exactly what he was doing, 295 00:13:41,571 --> 00:13:45,325 and the pool was right where it needed to be the whole time. 296 00:13:45,409 --> 00:13:48,161 But now I know that for sure, which feels good. 297 00:13:48,245 --> 00:13:50,831 Nelson, do you like being wealthy? 298 00:13:50,998 --> 00:13:52,541 Yeah, oh, man, it's awesome. 299 00:13:52,624 --> 00:13:54,167 So you want to stay wealthy? 300 00:13:54,251 --> 00:13:56,503 - Okay, yeah, sure. - Great. 301 00:13:56,586 --> 00:13:58,839 Here are the three things you need to do, all right? 302 00:13:58,922 --> 00:14:01,425 One, stop moving the swimming pool. 303 00:14:01,758 --> 00:14:04,177 Oh, yeah, okay, I can do that. What else? 304 00:14:04,261 --> 00:14:08,140 Two, you need to manage your expenses and track your receipts 305 00:14:08,223 --> 00:14:11,601 a little bit better than this. 306 00:14:11,852 --> 00:14:13,979 I'm only as good as the information I have. 307 00:14:14,062 --> 00:14:15,062 Oh, you're great. 308 00:14:15,105 --> 00:14:17,065 No, I wasn't fishing for compliments. 309 00:14:17,190 --> 00:14:21,570 And three, I sense that people are taking advantage of you. 310 00:14:21,862 --> 00:14:23,613 Oh, sorry, hold on. 311 00:14:24,239 --> 00:14:25,925 Oh, it's erlich, I should probably grab this. 312 00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:27,951 Erlich bachman, a perfect example. 313 00:14:28,035 --> 00:14:30,871 You gave him signing power on your personal checking account? 314 00:14:30,954 --> 00:14:32,205 Yeah, he's my business partner. 315 00:14:32,289 --> 00:14:35,375 You're not structured as a corporation. You're a general partnership. 316 00:14:35,459 --> 00:14:38,170 So he's essentially your spouse. 317 00:14:38,253 --> 00:14:40,130 That's very dangerous. 318 00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:41,298 But I trust him. 319 00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:44,301 He's actually trying to save us money right now, so hold on. 320 00:14:45,385 --> 00:14:46,386 Hey, man. 321 00:14:46,470 --> 00:14:48,430 Big head, wondrous news. 322 00:14:48,513 --> 00:14:51,725 I eliminated the Gavin problem, and at the exact same time, 323 00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:54,811 I closed funding on our first strategic investment. 324 00:14:55,145 --> 00:14:56,730 We bought a blog. 325 00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:59,316 Oh, cool. How much do blogs cost? 326 00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:00,400 What? 327 00:15:00,484 --> 00:15:02,569 Oh, nothing. We practically stole it from them. 328 00:15:02,652 --> 00:15:04,112 What? 329 00:15:04,196 --> 00:15:05,614 I'm bullshitting. 330 00:15:06,031 --> 00:15:07,365 Half a million dollars. 331 00:15:07,449 --> 00:15:08,533 Let me talk to him, please. 332 00:15:08,658 --> 00:15:12,496 Uh, hey, hey, erlich, could you talk to my business manager for a second? 333 00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:14,998 No, I've got to jet, but tell him I'll see him at the party. 334 00:15:15,082 --> 00:15:16,291 Good day, partner. 335 00:15:16,750 --> 00:15:18,126 Okay, cool. 336 00:15:18,627 --> 00:15:20,337 About the blog... 337 00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:22,589 - Five hundred grand. - Oh, god. 338 00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:24,758 I know, we practically stole it, right? 339 00:15:25,801 --> 00:15:27,928 Winnie: Your roommates are really funny. I like them. 340 00:15:28,011 --> 00:15:29,596 They gave me a little shit. 341 00:15:29,888 --> 00:15:31,932 Oh, well, you can't take that personally. 342 00:15:32,099 --> 00:15:34,392 Oh, it's fine. They gave you shit, too. 343 00:15:34,476 --> 00:15:37,354 Really? What about, like, my hair or something? 344 00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:41,483 No. They tried to convince me you were some sort of formatting Nazi 345 00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:44,027 about tabs versus spaces. 346 00:15:45,112 --> 00:15:49,199 What? Me? A Nazi? That's ridiculous. 347 00:15:49,282 --> 00:15:52,327 That's what I said, I mean, I use spaces. So what? 348 00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:53,954 Mmm... 349 00:15:54,037 --> 00:15:55,872 Yeah, so what? 350 00:15:55,956 --> 00:15:58,291 See, they said you'd have a hissy fit if you found out. 351 00:15:58,375 --> 00:16:00,377 Mmm-mmm. Hissy fit. Me? No. 352 00:16:00,502 --> 00:16:01,502 I know. 353 00:16:01,545 --> 00:16:03,338 You know. I know. 354 00:16:03,421 --> 00:16:04,524 I mean, make up your mind, guys, 355 00:16:04,548 --> 00:16:06,829 am I a Nazi or am I a guy who throws hissy fits, you know? 356 00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:09,136 Am I a Nazi who throws hissy fits? 357 00:16:09,219 --> 00:16:11,572 I hope not. That was Hitler. That was, like, his whole deal. 358 00:16:11,596 --> 00:16:13,908 I mean, that's pretty insensitive to the holocaust, don't you think? 359 00:16:13,932 --> 00:16:16,518 'Cause that's, like, what Hitler did. You know, hejust, like, 360 00:16:16,601 --> 00:16:19,146 killed so many people, so tragic, such a tragic time. 361 00:16:19,229 --> 00:16:21,523 - Yeah. - I'm so glad we're not doing that anymore. 362 00:16:21,606 --> 00:16:24,401 I mean, we, like I was, you know... 363 00:16:24,526 --> 00:16:26,903 I want them all to die. I don't. I don't care. 364 00:16:26,987 --> 00:16:29,156 I mean, I do care. Don't kill them. 365 00:16:29,239 --> 00:16:30,532 Them... Jews. 366 00:16:30,782 --> 00:16:32,951 Uh, anyway, what do you want to order here? 367 00:16:35,287 --> 00:16:37,497 Is that our p2p protocol? 368 00:16:37,581 --> 00:16:38,999 Yeah, I'm just hacking for fun. 369 00:16:39,082 --> 00:16:41,793 I figured out a way to use our compression for rtc, so... 370 00:16:42,085 --> 00:16:43,086 Video chat? 371 00:16:43,170 --> 00:16:45,530 Yeah, I think it could be better resolution than hooli-chat. 372 00:16:45,589 --> 00:16:47,174 Even over 3g. 373 00:16:47,257 --> 00:16:49,944 It could just be, like, a fun, cool feature in the platform, you know. 374 00:16:49,968 --> 00:16:54,598 And then coincidentally you'll finally be able to see what elisabet actually looks like. 375 00:16:54,931 --> 00:16:56,850 - Oh, yeah. - Huh. 376 00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:58,351 I hadn't thought of that. 377 00:16:58,435 --> 00:17:00,079 If you worked half as hard on the platform 378 00:17:00,103 --> 00:17:02,772 as you do trying to ogle strange slavic women, 379 00:17:03,064 --> 00:17:05,483 maybe our shares would finally be worth something. 380 00:17:05,734 --> 00:17:06,818 Hey, uh... 381 00:17:08,403 --> 00:17:10,113 What the hell was that? 382 00:17:15,118 --> 00:17:16,995 Can you give us slightly more, Richard? 383 00:17:17,913 --> 00:17:24,377 Why did you tell winnie that I think people who use spaces over tabs are stupid? 384 00:17:24,836 --> 00:17:25,921 Because you do. 385 00:17:26,004 --> 00:17:27,005 No, I don't. 386 00:17:27,088 --> 00:17:28,590 And if I did, which I don't, 387 00:17:29,007 --> 00:17:30,926 why would you say that behind my back to her? 388 00:17:31,009 --> 00:17:34,554 I mean, things were just going so well, until she... 389 00:17:34,638 --> 00:17:38,058 That was completely lovely. 390 00:17:38,141 --> 00:17:39,559 Yeah, it was really nice. 391 00:17:39,643 --> 00:17:41,924 You're really something. I'll give you a call later, okay? 392 00:17:41,978 --> 00:17:44,397 Okay, cool, yeah. Great, sounds good. 393 00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:45,857 Bye, Jared. 394 00:17:45,941 --> 00:17:47,067 Bye. 395 00:18:02,874 --> 00:18:03,917 Jared? 396 00:18:04,376 --> 00:18:05,377 Yeah? 397 00:18:05,669 --> 00:18:06,878 Who was that? 398 00:18:07,379 --> 00:18:08,964 Oh, that was Carol. 399 00:18:10,924 --> 00:18:16,846 So, uh, Jared, did you just have sex with her? 400 00:18:20,558 --> 00:18:21,685 What? 401 00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:22,894 I'm an adult, 402 00:18:22,978 --> 00:18:25,772 and like the rest of you, I'm a sexual being. 403 00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:28,191 You fucked her in the garage? 404 00:18:28,358 --> 00:18:31,569 Well, it's the server room and my bedroom. 405 00:18:31,653 --> 00:18:35,031 What, so you just meet a woman, 406 00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:37,450 and then you have sex with her? 407 00:18:39,911 --> 00:18:41,371 How often does this happen? 408 00:18:41,705 --> 00:18:46,459 Well, if you're asking me how many times I've been in love, the answer is two. 409 00:18:46,710 --> 00:18:48,461 But the rest, I won't talk about. 410 00:18:48,545 --> 00:18:50,088 It's untoward. 411 00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:52,841 Russ was right, this guy fucks. 412 00:18:54,217 --> 00:18:57,137 Who was that gorgeous gazelle in the driveway? 413 00:18:57,220 --> 00:18:59,597 Well, I've said all I care to, let's move on. 414 00:18:59,681 --> 00:19:01,558 She let Jared have sex with her. 415 00:19:01,850 --> 00:19:05,061 Jared, nice. Using that dick. 416 00:19:05,687 --> 00:19:07,230 Gents, 417 00:19:07,314 --> 00:19:13,987 I'd like to invite you to what promises to be the social event of the season. 418 00:19:15,196 --> 00:19:17,574 Bachmanity insanity. 419 00:19:18,575 --> 00:19:19,826 Alcatraz? 420 00:19:19,909 --> 00:19:22,078 Don't worry, it will be unrecognizable. 421 00:19:22,162 --> 00:19:24,247 Jared, with regards to the... 422 00:19:25,040 --> 00:19:26,333 You need a plus one? 423 00:19:26,583 --> 00:19:29,502 Oh, no, thank you. I think it's too early for that. 424 00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:30,587 Good idea. 425 00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:33,340 Don't bring sand to the beach, there's already pussy there. 426 00:19:33,423 --> 00:19:37,135 Richard, I assume you'll be taking your woman friend? 427 00:19:37,427 --> 00:19:38,887 You know what? Yes. 428 00:19:38,970 --> 00:19:41,181 She and I will be there together. 429 00:19:41,264 --> 00:19:42,384 I'm going to make this work, 430 00:19:42,432 --> 00:19:46,561 despite all your little attempts to sabotage my relationship. 431 00:19:46,644 --> 00:19:49,314 You can do anything you put your mind to, Richard. 432 00:19:49,397 --> 00:19:52,484 Including turning Alcatraz into Hawaii. 433 00:20:04,621 --> 00:20:05,914 You okay? 434 00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,541 Yeah. Yeah, all good. Great. 435 00:20:13,213 --> 00:20:14,839 - You know... - What? 436 00:20:15,298 --> 00:20:17,425 My roommate's going out of town tomorrow, 437 00:20:17,509 --> 00:20:20,512 so if we want to come back here after erlich's party... 438 00:20:20,595 --> 00:20:24,682 Oh. Okay, yeah. Sure, that sounds good to me. 439 00:20:24,766 --> 00:20:26,226 All right, it's a date. 440 00:20:26,309 --> 00:20:28,061 See you then. 441 00:20:41,658 --> 00:20:42,742 Richard, what's wrong? 442 00:20:42,826 --> 00:20:45,829 Nothing. Nothing. Literally, it's all good. 443 00:20:50,166 --> 00:20:51,376 Come on. 444 00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:52,752 - Oh, my god! - I'm sorry. 445 00:20:52,836 --> 00:20:54,397 Your roommates were right, you really hate spaces. 446 00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:55,755 No, no, no. 447 00:20:55,839 --> 00:20:58,883 I don't... it's not hate. Hate's a strong word. Um... 448 00:20:58,967 --> 00:21:01,970 Truth be told, I do have a slight preference for tabs. 449 00:21:02,053 --> 00:21:07,183 But that's only because I'm anal and because I prefer precision. 450 00:21:09,853 --> 00:21:11,396 Well, not to pick a fight here, 451 00:21:11,479 --> 00:21:15,024 but if you really care about precision, wouldn't you use spaces? 452 00:21:15,900 --> 00:21:17,277 - N... - But whatever. 453 00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:19,800 Once it goes through the compiler, it's the same thing, right? 454 00:21:20,655 --> 00:21:22,866 Yeah. Yeah, technically, yes. 455 00:21:28,538 --> 00:21:31,124 I guess I just don't understand why you... 456 00:21:31,207 --> 00:21:32,834 Anyone would use spaces over tabs. 457 00:21:32,917 --> 00:21:35,962 Like, if it's all the same, why not just use tabs? 458 00:21:36,045 --> 00:21:38,465 Because it could look different on other people's computers. 459 00:21:38,548 --> 00:21:40,842 Tabs create smaller file sizes, all right? 460 00:21:40,925 --> 00:21:42,045 I run a compression company. 461 00:21:42,093 --> 00:21:44,971 Trust me, I've devoted my life to minimalizing file sizes. 462 00:21:45,054 --> 00:21:46,347 It's what I do. 463 00:21:46,431 --> 00:21:50,477 I mean, I do not get why anyone would use spaces over tabs. 464 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:53,313 I mean, why not just use vim over emacs? 465 00:21:53,396 --> 00:21:54,939 I do use vim over emac. 466 00:21:55,023 --> 00:21:56,274 Oh, god, help us! 467 00:21:56,357 --> 00:21:57,567 Okay. Uh... 468 00:21:58,067 --> 00:21:59,068 You know what? 469 00:21:59,152 --> 00:22:01,505 I just... I don't think this is going to work. I'm so sorry. 470 00:22:01,529 --> 00:22:02,529 I mean, like, what? 471 00:22:02,572 --> 00:22:05,259 We're going to bring kids into this world with that over their heads? 472 00:22:05,283 --> 00:22:06,719 That's not really fair to them, don't you think? 473 00:22:06,743 --> 00:22:08,745 Kids? We haven't even slept together. 474 00:22:08,828 --> 00:22:10,306 And guess what, it's never going to happen now, 475 00:22:10,330 --> 00:22:15,043 because there is no way I'm going to be with someone who uses spaces over tabs. 476 00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:18,338 Richard. 477 00:22:21,633 --> 00:22:23,551 Wow, okay. 478 00:22:23,635 --> 00:22:24,802 Good bye. 479 00:22:24,886 --> 00:22:27,180 One tab saves you eight spaces. 480 00:22:30,391 --> 00:22:31,392 Richard: Oh! 481 00:22:35,146 --> 00:22:36,147 Oh, my god! 482 00:22:36,439 --> 00:22:37,815 Richard, what happened? 483 00:22:37,899 --> 00:22:40,985 I just tried to go down the stairs eight steps at a time. 484 00:22:41,778 --> 00:22:43,154 I'm okay, though. 485 00:22:43,905 --> 00:22:45,114 See you around, Richard. 486 00:22:45,198 --> 00:22:46,199 Just making a point. 487 00:22:57,794 --> 00:22:58,795 Huh. 488 00:22:59,295 --> 00:23:03,550 This new video chat protocol is making your image crystal clear. 489 00:23:03,633 --> 00:23:05,969 Wait one second, dinesh. 490 00:23:06,344 --> 00:23:08,721 Uh, dinesh, I can't see you, it's all black. 491 00:23:08,805 --> 00:23:13,476 Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't give the camera permission to access the video chat, hold on. 492 00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:15,228 Dinesh: Boom! 493 00:23:15,311 --> 00:23:18,106 Yes, I can see you now. 494 00:23:18,189 --> 00:23:19,232 It's me! 495 00:23:19,315 --> 00:23:21,150 Pakistani Denzel! 496 00:23:23,069 --> 00:23:24,153 Yes. 497 00:23:24,237 --> 00:23:27,073 The Denzel who is from Pakistan. 498 00:23:27,156 --> 00:23:30,368 This video quality is great, right? Looks so sharp. 499 00:23:31,661 --> 00:23:34,539 That's what we do here at pied Piper. 500 00:23:35,790 --> 00:23:37,500 It's very impressive. 501 00:23:38,751 --> 00:23:42,839 Um, I will have to tell my boyfriend all about it. 502 00:23:43,172 --> 00:23:44,215 Boyfriend? 503 00:23:44,716 --> 00:23:46,593 You never mentioned a boyfriend. 504 00:23:46,676 --> 00:23:48,136 Oh, no? Um... 505 00:23:48,886 --> 00:23:51,514 This is because he's now just husband. 506 00:23:51,848 --> 00:23:55,059 Um, lkeep forgetting to say this, husband, 507 00:23:55,143 --> 00:24:00,940 but it is very good to see you this way, and we will talk more tomorrow. 508 00:24:01,316 --> 00:24:03,067 Yeah, we'll talk... 509 00:24:05,069 --> 00:24:08,865 Either she froze time, 510 00:24:09,490 --> 00:24:12,535 met and married the man of her dreams, 511 00:24:12,744 --> 00:24:16,706 unfroze time, and hopped back on to vid chat with you, 512 00:24:16,914 --> 00:24:20,335 or you're the dogface. 513 00:24:22,462 --> 00:24:24,464 Which do you think it is? 514 00:24:24,547 --> 00:24:25,882 I'm on the fence. 515 00:24:26,174 --> 00:24:27,300 What the fuck is going on? 516 00:24:27,383 --> 00:24:32,055 Richard found a girl, you have a girlfriend, Jared is getting laid with a girl. 517 00:24:37,894 --> 00:24:39,228 Hi, mom. 518 00:25:01,793 --> 00:25:02,794 Oh, god. 519 00:25:02,877 --> 00:25:05,088 Winnie, winnie, winnie, winnie. 520 00:25:05,171 --> 00:25:07,298 Sweet, sweet elisabet. 521 00:25:09,092 --> 00:25:11,302 Gentlemen, mahalo for coming. 522 00:25:11,761 --> 00:25:14,931 You must taste the breaded humuhumunukunukuapua'a, 523 00:25:15,515 --> 00:25:17,725 flown in fresh this am. 524 00:25:18,184 --> 00:25:19,686 What is mumu... 525 00:25:20,144 --> 00:25:21,312 It's breaded. 526 00:25:21,396 --> 00:25:22,396 Get ready. 527 00:25:22,438 --> 00:25:27,318 In t-minus five minutes, big head and I are going to take that stage, 528 00:25:27,402 --> 00:25:31,155 and I am going to ejaculate my success all over 529 00:25:31,239 --> 00:25:34,075 the faces and hair of my fiercest rivals. 530 00:25:34,283 --> 00:25:38,579 Like some sort of vengeful viscous web of payback. 531 00:25:38,746 --> 00:25:40,415 - Sasha: Erlich? - Yes. 532 00:25:40,498 --> 00:25:41,499 One moment. 533 00:25:41,666 --> 00:25:44,544 - Sasha, you are doing an exceptional job. - Oh. 534 00:25:44,627 --> 00:25:48,548 I mean, I see no evidence that we are not in Hawaii. 535 00:25:48,631 --> 00:25:51,050 Hmm. We have a problem. 536 00:25:51,134 --> 00:25:54,470 Just, several of our vendors are saying that your checks have bounced. 537 00:25:58,099 --> 00:26:01,728 Uh, Sasha, hikiki'i. I'll be back. 538 00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:03,938 Big head, big head. 539 00:26:04,021 --> 00:26:05,231 Why are our checks bouncing? 540 00:26:05,314 --> 00:26:07,400 If you had responded to any of my phone calls, 541 00:26:07,483 --> 00:26:09,318 I would've explained it to you. 542 00:26:09,402 --> 00:26:10,778 And who the fuck are you? 543 00:26:10,903 --> 00:26:15,032 Uh, erlich, this is my business manager, Arthur... 544 00:26:15,616 --> 00:26:16,616 Klaiman. 545 00:26:16,659 --> 00:26:18,379 Klaiman. I knew it was something with Clay. 546 00:26:18,703 --> 00:26:20,788 As I was explaining to Mr. Bighetti, 547 00:26:20,872 --> 00:26:24,667 I've finally managed to get a handle on his finances. 548 00:26:24,751 --> 00:26:27,670 Our finances. Continue. 549 00:26:27,754 --> 00:26:31,674 After your considerable outlay on lifestyle, 550 00:26:32,133 --> 00:26:35,136 this party and half a million dollars on a website, 551 00:26:35,219 --> 00:26:38,765 you're functionally insolvent. 552 00:26:40,266 --> 00:26:41,893 Big head, you're broke? 553 00:26:42,101 --> 00:26:43,352 We're broke, dude. 554 00:26:43,519 --> 00:26:44,604 Erlich, it's time. 555 00:26:44,687 --> 00:26:48,065 You have my number. I left it on your voice mail. 556 00:26:48,608 --> 00:26:50,234 Several times. 557 00:26:50,651 --> 00:26:54,947 Announcer: Titans of the tech world, I give you Nelson bighetti, erlich bachman 558 00:26:55,031 --> 00:26:58,785 and bachmanity! 559 00:27:12,924 --> 00:27:16,427 - Aloha. - Uh, that means hello. 560 00:27:19,722 --> 00:27:20,765 Oh, and goodbye.