1 00:00:09,093 --> 00:00:10,469 Here it is. 2 00:00:11,262 --> 00:00:12,638 This is your future. 3 00:00:13,931 --> 00:00:17,435 One of your pied Piper boxes would go right here in this rack. 4 00:00:21,439 --> 00:00:22,732 Okay. 5 00:00:23,733 --> 00:00:24,942 Man: Okay. 6 00:00:25,610 --> 00:00:29,322 Let me show you the next location in which we would install one of your boxes. 7 00:00:33,159 --> 00:00:36,245 Gilfoyle: Richard, what the fuck are we doing here? 8 00:00:36,329 --> 00:00:38,122 I don't like it any more than you do. 9 00:00:38,206 --> 00:00:41,209 I told Jack we'd come check this place out and then we'd have a discussion. 10 00:00:41,292 --> 00:00:44,271 Dinesh: I can't believe you suggested the idea of building a fucking appliance. 11 00:00:44,295 --> 00:00:45,338 I didn't, okay? 12 00:00:45,421 --> 00:00:49,550 I pitched it as an example of what not to do and the fucking sales guys ran with it. 13 00:00:49,634 --> 00:00:50,944 I didn't want to go to enterprise. 14 00:00:50,968 --> 00:00:52,237 You were the ones who said it would be fine. 15 00:00:52,261 --> 00:00:54,114 - No, we didn't say that. - You said it all the time. 16 00:00:54,138 --> 00:00:55,698 That's not what we said. That is not... 17 00:00:56,515 --> 00:01:00,353 Here it is. This is where another one of your pied Piper boxes would go. 18 00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:05,900 Okay. Good. 19 00:01:06,150 --> 00:01:08,903 Okay. Let me show you the next location in which we would install... 20 00:01:08,986 --> 00:01:10,446 Actually, you know what? 21 00:01:10,780 --> 00:01:13,532 Sorry. No offense, but once you see one space in a rack, 22 00:01:13,658 --> 00:01:15,159 you've kind of seen them all. 23 00:01:15,660 --> 00:01:18,913 That's what I used to think until I saw them all. 24 00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:23,251 Would you like to see your desks? 25 00:01:23,334 --> 00:01:24,794 - Our desks? - What? 26 00:01:26,128 --> 00:01:29,423 This is where we would install a pied Piper engineer. 27 00:01:31,259 --> 00:01:34,929 Sorry. Why, exactly, would we need to be here? 28 00:01:35,513 --> 00:01:40,268 Your sales representative promised 24-hour-a-day, on-site maintenance, 29 00:01:40,351 --> 00:01:41,936 at least for the first year. 30 00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:47,275 So, one of us would have to be down here for a year? 31 00:01:47,733 --> 00:01:48,859 Even at night? 32 00:01:50,319 --> 00:01:53,531 There's really no difference between day and night down here, 33 00:01:53,864 --> 00:01:55,866 so it makes things easy. 34 00:01:56,951 --> 00:02:00,454 Okay, well, we should probably get going. Now. 35 00:02:00,538 --> 00:02:02,218 - Almost right now. - Yeah, right now even. 36 00:02:02,373 --> 00:02:06,085 Okay. Uh, there are 16 stain/veils. 37 00:02:06,210 --> 00:02:07,837 Which one would you like to see first? 38 00:02:08,045 --> 00:02:10,214 Uh, just whatever's as fast as possible. 39 00:02:10,339 --> 00:02:11,549 Your favorite one. 40 00:02:12,717 --> 00:02:13,718 Hmm. 41 00:02:15,469 --> 00:02:16,554 Okay. 42 00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:24,061 Dinesh: Oh! 43 00:02:24,687 --> 00:02:26,647 You see these fucking mole people? 44 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:29,900 Hey, where did John go? 45 00:02:30,526 --> 00:02:32,611 Gilfoyle: Oh, shit. Did he go in a room? 46 00:02:32,903 --> 00:02:35,072 No. Uh, probably around here. 47 00:02:36,991 --> 00:02:38,451 Hey, John? 48 00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:40,911 - John? - Dinesh: Oh, uh... John? 49 00:02:40,995 --> 00:02:42,830 Richard: John! Dinesh: Oh, shit. 50 00:02:44,248 --> 00:02:45,291 Gilfoyle: John! 51 00:02:46,417 --> 00:02:47,769 Dinesh: Where is he? Richard: John! 52 00:02:47,793 --> 00:02:49,211 Dinesh: John! 53 00:03:01,015 --> 00:03:04,685 Richard: We can't take my algorithm and put it in a box and Bury it at maleant. 54 00:03:04,769 --> 00:03:07,104 - We just can't. - I think this thing is dead. 55 00:03:07,730 --> 00:03:10,858 Jack, look, I have no doubt 56 00:03:10,941 --> 00:03:13,194 that your guys can sell a box 57 00:03:13,277 --> 00:03:16,572 and an appliance may be a good short-term play, 58 00:03:16,655 --> 00:03:19,158 but in the long term, we need to be building 59 00:03:19,241 --> 00:03:20,951 - our full-time platform. - Gloria! 60 00:03:21,369 --> 00:03:24,038 Could you call the fish guy and see what kind of warranty 61 00:03:24,121 --> 00:03:27,249 we have on these things? I think one of them is dead. 62 00:03:27,333 --> 00:03:28,751 Jack, please. 63 00:03:28,834 --> 00:03:31,229 You said that when we got back from maleant, we would discuss this. 64 00:03:31,253 --> 00:03:33,005 Okay, let's discuss it. 65 00:03:33,089 --> 00:03:36,592 Take a look at the conjoined triangles of success. 66 00:03:36,675 --> 00:03:39,470 Now, what do those two triangles make together? 67 00:03:41,639 --> 00:03:44,392 - A square? - A box. They make a box. 68 00:03:44,475 --> 00:03:47,728 - You can't make that shit up. - But you literally did make it up. 69 00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:51,065 Yes, I did. And now they teach it at business schools. 70 00:03:51,148 --> 00:03:54,568 But I was only referring to the serendipity of the coincidence. 71 00:03:54,652 --> 00:03:57,196 Look, if we build you the box, 72 00:03:57,279 --> 00:04:00,783 will you promise to let us build the platform when it's done? 73 00:04:01,283 --> 00:04:03,744 We'll think about then then. 74 00:04:03,828 --> 00:04:05,830 Now we need to worry about now. 75 00:04:06,163 --> 00:04:08,040 Build me a box now. 76 00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:15,089 How'd it go? 77 00:04:15,172 --> 00:04:16,507 Uh, not well. 78 00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:17,800 All right, then. 79 00:04:20,386 --> 00:04:22,197 What do you... what do you mean? What are you doing? 80 00:04:22,221 --> 00:04:25,307 Well, first, I'm changing my linkedln status 81 00:04:26,183 --> 00:04:27,601 to "looking for work." 82 00:04:28,477 --> 00:04:31,480 That box is artless commerce. I won't be a party to it. 83 00:04:31,564 --> 00:04:33,441 So, you're just gonna quit? 84 00:04:33,524 --> 00:04:35,401 Just like that? How can you do that? 85 00:04:35,818 --> 00:04:40,823 By saying the words "I" and "quit" in conjunction together, I.E., "I quit." 86 00:04:40,906 --> 00:04:43,117 Well, there's actually some papennork involved. 87 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:45,161 Hey, can I have that USB missile launcher? 88 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:49,999 I'll just fish it out of the trash later. 89 00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:51,584 Richard: Gilfoyle, come on. 90 00:04:51,667 --> 00:04:55,212 Give me some time to figure a way out of this, 'cause if you quit now, 91 00:04:55,546 --> 00:04:56,906 you're gonna lose all your shares. 92 00:04:56,964 --> 00:05:00,384 And what if barker changes his mind and lets us build the platform? 93 00:05:00,509 --> 00:05:01,802 And the odds of that are? 94 00:05:04,513 --> 00:05:07,641 Already? Recruiters move fast these days. 95 00:05:08,267 --> 00:05:10,895 This is gilfoyle. Dazzle me. 96 00:05:20,112 --> 00:05:21,989 More recruiter swag? 97 00:05:22,323 --> 00:05:23,616 You got an oculus? 98 00:05:23,699 --> 00:05:25,493 - Yup. - That's a hoverboard? 99 00:05:25,743 --> 00:05:27,244 How many meetings are you taking? 100 00:05:27,578 --> 00:05:29,288 None. That's the irony. 101 00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:32,541 The more meetings I turn down, the more these recruiters send me. 102 00:05:35,294 --> 00:05:37,505 - What are you doing? - Eating popcorn. 103 00:05:37,588 --> 00:05:40,174 - That's my popcorn. - You have seven tubs of it. 104 00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:42,092 You could be the mayor of popcornopolis. 105 00:05:42,593 --> 00:05:45,179 Don't eat the caramel. You can have the cheese or the plain. 106 00:05:45,262 --> 00:05:47,932 - You're leaving me with the cheddar? - That's right. Dick. 107 00:05:48,265 --> 00:05:50,105 Hey, can I borrow this? Just for a little bit? 108 00:05:50,142 --> 00:05:52,102 No. Whoa, whoa, hold on. 109 00:05:53,145 --> 00:05:54,522 You're wearing a gold chain? 110 00:05:54,813 --> 00:05:56,690 Oh, right. Yeah, I've had it for a while. 111 00:05:56,774 --> 00:05:58,293 Just kind of throw it on every now and then. 112 00:05:58,317 --> 00:05:59,652 None of that is true. 113 00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:02,196 - I definitely would've noticed. - Okay, listen. 114 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:04,698 I've been working hard. I'm making money for the first time. 115 00:06:04,949 --> 00:06:07,326 I was like... Buy myself something nice, you know? 116 00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:10,913 But instead of that, you bought a chain? 117 00:06:11,497 --> 00:06:13,791 You're justjealous I have a salary, quitter. 118 00:06:13,958 --> 00:06:17,962 And you are too legit to quit, eh, mc Hamas? 119 00:06:18,254 --> 00:06:20,756 - Fuck off. - Later, chain the virgin. 120 00:06:21,632 --> 00:06:24,051 Well, gilfoyle, looks like your recruiters 121 00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:26,387 are gonna have to take back their gift baskets, 122 00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:28,472 because I just got off the phone with Monica 123 00:06:28,556 --> 00:06:30,599 and she's getting me in to see Laurie this morning 124 00:06:30,683 --> 00:06:33,102 so I can tell her what's going on. 125 00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:36,188 But you're going over your ceo's head? 126 00:06:36,272 --> 00:06:38,065 That is a serious breach of protocol. 127 00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:40,109 I mean, if Jack finds out, he'll be furious. 128 00:06:40,192 --> 00:06:41,819 Hey, when you push a man so far, 129 00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:44,321 he goes out and buys a gun and shoots everyone in a bank. 130 00:06:44,530 --> 00:06:45,573 Whoa. 131 00:06:45,656 --> 00:06:47,866 No, iwouldn't, iwouldn't. I'm not... I'm not going to. 132 00:06:47,950 --> 00:06:51,412 Just... the point is, what other option do I have, anyway? 133 00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:53,664 What other option do you have, Richard? 134 00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,500 Can I speak with you alone, please? 135 00:06:59,837 --> 00:07:01,797 Are you angry with me, Richard? 136 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:03,591 Have I done something to offend you? 137 00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:05,843 No. What are you talking about? 138 00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:09,263 You know, when you and the boys picked up and went to the new offices, 139 00:07:09,346 --> 00:07:10,848 and didn't invite me along, 140 00:07:11,974 --> 00:07:14,494 - I didn't say anything. - Yeah, because you don't work at pied Piper. 141 00:07:14,518 --> 00:07:17,896 And you haven't let me forget that for even one moment, have you, Richard? 142 00:07:18,063 --> 00:07:19,690 I'm having trouble tracking this. 143 00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:21,567 I don't know what you're mad about. 144 00:07:21,650 --> 00:07:24,361 You publicly proclaimed, "I have to go over barker's head 145 00:07:24,445 --> 00:07:27,114 "because what other option do I have?" 146 00:07:28,741 --> 00:07:30,909 What other option do you have, Richard? 147 00:07:33,037 --> 00:07:34,514 - Uh... - 'Cause there is another option, 148 00:07:34,538 --> 00:07:36,540 and he's standing here, looking you in the face, 149 00:07:36,624 --> 00:07:38,544 and you're staring back like he don't even exist. 150 00:07:38,876 --> 00:07:42,338 Just to be as clear as I possibly can be here, 151 00:07:42,421 --> 00:07:45,924 are you trying to tell me that you want to talk to barker? 152 00:07:46,008 --> 00:07:48,719 No, Richard, I don't want to talk to barker. 153 00:07:49,553 --> 00:07:52,389 - I want you to want me to talk to barker. - You know, 154 00:07:53,557 --> 00:07:57,645 at this point, if it'll make you feel better, sure, you can go talk to barker. 155 00:07:58,354 --> 00:08:00,648 See? Was that so hard? 156 00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:04,735 Actually, yes, that was painfully difficult. 157 00:08:06,737 --> 00:08:08,572 Yeah, she's definitely dead. 158 00:08:10,908 --> 00:08:12,951 I'm sorry for your loss. Gloria! 159 00:08:14,244 --> 00:08:16,538 Gloria! 160 00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:21,710 Would you, uh, take this daughter of Neptune back from whence she came? 161 00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:25,214 The toilet, dear. That's okay. 162 00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:28,676 What can I do for you, Mr. Bachman? 163 00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,427 Ah, yes, to the matter at hand. 164 00:08:30,803 --> 00:08:34,431 I spoke with Richard about the box project, 165 00:08:34,682 --> 00:08:36,868 and, well, here are some of my thoughts in no particular order. 166 00:08:36,892 --> 00:08:40,521 - Why a box? - What information do I not already have? 167 00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:41,939 I'm sorry? 168 00:08:42,106 --> 00:08:44,692 I said, "what information do I not already have?" 169 00:08:45,067 --> 00:08:49,530 I already have a five-year run rate plus a full market forecast for my appliance. 170 00:08:49,613 --> 00:08:51,782 I have the same for Richard's platform. 171 00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:54,743 I've heard all of his engineering team's complaints. 172 00:08:54,827 --> 00:08:56,662 So, before you waste time 173 00:08:56,745 --> 00:08:59,957 with some freeform jazz odyssey of masturbatory bullshit, 174 00:09:00,165 --> 00:09:03,961 just tell me what concrete information you have for me 175 00:09:04,169 --> 00:09:06,422 that I do not already possess! 176 00:09:10,467 --> 00:09:11,760 Richard. 177 00:09:14,513 --> 00:09:17,599 The way I see it, you've got about two options. 178 00:09:18,350 --> 00:09:20,477 One, you build yourself the box. 179 00:09:20,686 --> 00:09:24,648 Two, you get Laurie bream on the phone asap. 180 00:09:25,691 --> 00:09:27,526 All right, I'll see you back at the house. 181 00:09:27,651 --> 00:09:29,319 Uh, okay. 182 00:09:29,987 --> 00:09:31,613 Uh, hiroki-San. 183 00:09:38,996 --> 00:09:41,039 Um, what is that one? 184 00:09:43,167 --> 00:09:45,794 It is a question Mark made of human hair, 185 00:09:45,878 --> 00:09:48,630 harvested, apparently, from dead people in India. 186 00:09:48,839 --> 00:09:54,511 It's a pun. It signifies that at raviga, we ask the big, hairy questions. 187 00:09:54,803 --> 00:09:57,014 Right. Speaking of questions, 188 00:09:57,347 --> 00:09:58,932 what should we do about Jack? 189 00:09:59,016 --> 00:10:00,642 Well, I concur with your assessment 190 00:10:00,726 --> 00:10:03,812 that a backup appliance for data centers seems 191 00:10:03,896 --> 00:10:06,231 an uninspired application of your technology. 192 00:10:06,315 --> 00:10:09,985 I will contact him and we'll have a frank discussion about this. 193 00:10:10,068 --> 00:10:13,071 Great. I really appreciate you hearing me out on this. 194 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:16,533 And it goes without saying, I was never here. 195 00:10:19,495 --> 00:10:20,579 What? 196 00:10:21,872 --> 00:10:23,290 You are here. Now. 197 00:10:23,582 --> 00:10:26,168 What Richard means is he would prefer 198 00:10:26,251 --> 00:10:29,713 if you didn't tell Jack that he came here to talk to you about this. 199 00:10:29,797 --> 00:10:34,092 Yes, because the other interpretation makes no sense. 200 00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:39,556 Jack, Laurie bream on line one. 201 00:10:39,848 --> 00:10:42,893 Guys. Guys, it's happening. It's happening. 202 00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,062 Hello. 203 00:10:45,229 --> 00:10:47,898 Okay. Drop the hammer, Laurie bream. 204 00:10:50,901 --> 00:10:52,861 What are you doing? He's going to see you looking. 205 00:10:52,945 --> 00:10:54,745 I can't see 'cause of these fucking monitors. 206 00:10:54,822 --> 00:10:57,008 - Whose fucking fault is that, okay? - It's not my fucking fault. 207 00:10:57,032 --> 00:10:58,367 Something's happening. 208 00:10:58,992 --> 00:11:00,118 What? 209 00:11:00,327 --> 00:11:02,454 What's happening? What's happening? 210 00:11:02,538 --> 00:11:04,164 Oh, man. Barker's pissed. 211 00:11:04,248 --> 00:11:05,666 How pissed? Scale of one to 10. 212 00:11:05,791 --> 00:11:07,709 - Like, a seven. - Fuck. 213 00:11:07,793 --> 00:11:10,170 No, no, no, no, no. Like, a nine, nine and a half. 214 00:11:10,254 --> 00:11:11,755 Fuck! I'm missing everything. 215 00:11:11,839 --> 00:11:12,982 I'm going to go to the kitchen. 216 00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,406 He doesn't know. I could be hungry. 217 00:11:15,259 --> 00:11:16,385 It's over. It's over. 218 00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:21,139 I missed the whole fucking thing because of these fucking monitors. 219 00:11:21,223 --> 00:11:24,268 Richard? Jack would like to see you in his office. 220 00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:26,019 Oh, okay. 221 00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:29,022 If you'll excuse me, gentlemen, 222 00:11:29,106 --> 00:11:32,568 I'm gonna go ask action Jack how Laurie's dick tastes. 223 00:11:33,318 --> 00:11:34,736 - Don't... no. - Yeah. 224 00:11:36,238 --> 00:11:37,739 You wanted to see me, chief? 225 00:11:38,115 --> 00:11:40,200 Sure, come on in, Richard. Grab a seat. 226 00:11:40,659 --> 00:11:41,785 Richard: Sure. 227 00:11:45,163 --> 00:11:46,582 Yeah. Okay. 228 00:11:46,665 --> 00:11:49,877 So, guess who I just got off the phone with. 229 00:11:50,252 --> 00:11:53,088 Uh. I have no idea. Who? 230 00:11:53,630 --> 00:11:57,759 - Laurie bream. - Laurie bream. From raviga? 231 00:11:58,427 --> 00:12:01,722 Exactly. She was pretty adamant 232 00:12:01,805 --> 00:12:05,142 that the whole box project here at pied Piper was 233 00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:07,978 woefully misguided. 234 00:12:08,186 --> 00:12:10,772 Whoa, strong words. Wow. 235 00:12:10,856 --> 00:12:14,985 In fact, it was her opinion that we should immediately abandon the box 236 00:12:15,068 --> 00:12:18,488 in favor of the consumer platform version of pied Piper 237 00:12:18,614 --> 00:12:21,909 which I believe you and your guys were bucking for. 238 00:12:22,326 --> 00:12:24,912 I don't know about "bucking," 239 00:12:24,995 --> 00:12:27,289 but, yeah. Yeah, well, hey, look, 240 00:12:27,706 --> 00:12:30,792 - Laurie bream is the investor. - Yeah. 241 00:12:32,169 --> 00:12:33,462 She is the investor. 242 00:12:34,713 --> 00:12:38,216 Anyway, she wanted a comprehensive, go-to-market strategy 243 00:12:38,300 --> 00:12:41,178 for the platform version within 48 hours. 244 00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:45,057 Wow. Well, what Laurie wants, Laurie gets. 245 00:12:45,724 --> 00:12:49,102 So, yeah. We should probably get started on that. 246 00:12:49,186 --> 00:12:50,437 No, we shouldn't, Richard. 247 00:12:51,396 --> 00:12:53,106 We're not building the platform. 248 00:12:53,190 --> 00:12:54,566 We're building a box. 249 00:12:56,026 --> 00:12:57,235 Okay, but... 250 00:12:57,319 --> 00:13:00,113 Didn't Laurie say that she wanted the platform? 251 00:13:00,197 --> 00:13:03,116 Yes, she said that, and then I said 252 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:06,870 that if pied Piper was going to build a platform, 253 00:13:06,954 --> 00:13:08,538 she would have to fire me. 254 00:13:09,748 --> 00:13:11,333 What did she say? 255 00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:15,420 She said she was not interested in doing that at this time. 256 00:13:15,504 --> 00:13:17,130 And did she say anything after that? 257 00:13:17,214 --> 00:13:18,799 We're building the box, Richard. 258 00:13:19,049 --> 00:13:22,970 Twelve weeks from today, we're going to present her a prototype of that box. 259 00:13:23,762 --> 00:13:25,639 So, let's get it done. 260 00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:31,687 Okay. 261 00:13:32,396 --> 00:13:33,438 Yup. 262 00:13:36,608 --> 00:13:38,193 One more thing, Richard. 263 00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:41,697 If you're going to shoot the king, 264 00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:44,574 you better be goddamn sure you kill him. 265 00:13:46,284 --> 00:13:47,911 You understand what that means? 266 00:13:48,954 --> 00:13:50,497 Yeah-ar. 267 00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:54,918 Did you just say "yar"? 268 00:14:01,216 --> 00:14:04,720 Look at us. Two rogues on the king's highway. 269 00:14:05,554 --> 00:14:07,681 Let the rats run in their maze. 270 00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:10,225 We chose this. This is our destiny. 271 00:14:11,059 --> 00:14:13,937 Freedom. Isn't that right, gilfoyle? 272 00:14:16,481 --> 00:14:18,692 - Did you say something? - Of course. 273 00:14:22,279 --> 00:14:24,865 If it's more popcorn, tell them we're at capacity. 274 00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:27,868 It's a guy from men in black. 275 00:14:31,580 --> 00:14:33,040 - Bertram gilfoyle? - Yeah. 276 00:14:33,123 --> 00:14:34,723 I'm here on behalf of twen-x recruiting, 277 00:14:34,750 --> 00:14:37,794 - I'm supposed to give you this. - Pappy Van winkle. 278 00:14:37,878 --> 00:14:39,588 Now we're talking. I'll take it. 279 00:14:40,047 --> 00:14:42,424 They told me not to give it to you until after the meeting. 280 00:14:42,966 --> 00:14:44,634 I respect your skills. 281 00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:47,137 Let me get my jacket. 282 00:14:48,013 --> 00:14:50,116 She was supposed to talk barker out of making the box. 283 00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:51,224 What the fuck happened? 284 00:14:51,308 --> 00:14:52,768 - Richard. - What? 285 00:14:54,728 --> 00:14:57,689 I was on the call, okay? She tried, he said no. 286 00:14:57,773 --> 00:15:00,609 - Well, then she should fire him. - She can't fire him. 287 00:15:00,692 --> 00:15:02,069 Why not? She fired me. 288 00:15:02,152 --> 00:15:05,072 Exactly. She can't fire him because she fired you. 289 00:15:05,280 --> 00:15:08,325 Firing a young ceo and installing a much more experienced one 290 00:15:08,492 --> 00:15:09,576 looks like leadership. 291 00:15:09,659 --> 00:15:12,537 Firing two CEOs in a month looks like chaos. 292 00:15:12,996 --> 00:15:16,666 Richard, look, I'm sorry, but I think the box is here to stay. 293 00:15:16,958 --> 00:15:19,586 Okay? Laurie's gonna have to pretend to be in favor of it. 294 00:15:19,836 --> 00:15:21,421 She'll probably issue press releases 295 00:15:21,505 --> 00:15:25,383 talking about how it's the best application of your visionary technology. 296 00:15:25,592 --> 00:15:28,220 Is there nothing that we can say to Laurie to change her mind? 297 00:15:28,762 --> 00:15:30,138 If I could control Laurie, 298 00:15:30,222 --> 00:15:34,351 do you really think I'd be looking out my office door at that monstrosity? 299 00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:37,104 Jeez, Monica, he's not that bad. 300 00:15:37,187 --> 00:15:39,106 I mean, he's a little ugly, I guess. 301 00:15:39,189 --> 00:15:41,149 Oh, the question Mark. Sorry. 302 00:15:47,405 --> 00:15:49,825 Mr. Gilfoyle. We're ready for you. 303 00:15:50,742 --> 00:15:52,702 The guys cannot wait to see you again. 304 00:15:54,037 --> 00:15:55,205 Again? 305 00:15:58,917 --> 00:16:01,837 - Gilfoyle. - What the fuck? 306 00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:04,256 Good to see you again, buddy. Why don't you have a seat? 307 00:16:04,339 --> 00:16:05,757 You stole half of our algorithm. 308 00:16:05,841 --> 00:16:08,510 You think you can bring me in here and pay me to give you the rest? 309 00:16:08,718 --> 00:16:12,556 No. We want you because you're a full-stack engineer. 310 00:16:12,764 --> 00:16:15,324 We already paid someone else for the missing piece of middle-out. 311 00:16:15,392 --> 00:16:18,645 - Bullshit. - Do you know naveen and Eric, 312 00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:21,398 who, until very recently, headed up engineering at nucleus? 313 00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:22,566 - Hey, man. - What's up? 314 00:16:23,233 --> 00:16:25,402 - Nope. - Well, I'm sure you at least recognize 315 00:16:25,485 --> 00:16:26,945 the code they brought us. 316 00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:31,658 That's exactly how they had it. 317 00:16:33,326 --> 00:16:37,080 Okay. So, endframe has our entire prediction loop, 318 00:16:37,205 --> 00:16:39,291 down to the last fucking semicolon. 319 00:16:39,374 --> 00:16:43,503 So, nucleus stole half our ip, and endframe stole the other half. 320 00:16:43,628 --> 00:16:45,338 And now they've knitted them together. 321 00:16:45,422 --> 00:16:49,259 So, while we are busy building barker's box, 322 00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:51,553 endframe is beating us to market with a platform. 323 00:16:51,887 --> 00:16:55,432 So, basically, we are a fucking mediocre appliance company. 324 00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:57,525 At least we'll make a little money doing it. 325 00:16:57,934 --> 00:16:59,019 Oh, great. 326 00:16:59,102 --> 00:17:01,521 So, you can go back to the car wash and buy some more chains, 327 00:17:01,771 --> 00:17:03,607 huh, Pakistani Mr. T? 328 00:17:03,982 --> 00:17:05,192 Fuck you. 329 00:17:05,442 --> 00:17:07,819 Wait. Are you not wearing it? 330 00:17:08,653 --> 00:17:11,656 You're not. Did you take it off because I was fucking with you? 331 00:17:11,781 --> 00:17:15,660 - No. It was itchy on my neck, so... - Bullshit. 332 00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:17,329 That was a bad decision. 333 00:17:17,579 --> 00:17:20,624 You flinched. Now the pain will never end. 334 00:17:20,999 --> 00:17:23,585 I'm sorry to say it, but gilfoyle's right. 335 00:17:23,668 --> 00:17:26,338 You're making it worse. Sorry, django. 336 00:17:26,838 --> 00:17:28,340 Django? 337 00:17:28,465 --> 00:17:29,507 Unchained. 338 00:17:29,758 --> 00:17:32,469 Great. Now even fucking Jared is busting my balls. 339 00:17:32,677 --> 00:17:35,931 I am. I'm... I'm busting your balls. 340 00:17:36,014 --> 00:17:39,285 You know what? If you're gonna give me shit for it anyway, I'm just going to wear it. 341 00:17:39,309 --> 00:17:41,311 Richard: Okay, Jared. Congratulations, by the way, 342 00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:44,314 but we have our own balls to worry about, all right? 343 00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:49,361 Uh, look, how are we going to save the platform? 344 00:17:49,903 --> 00:17:51,821 What choice do we have? Barker is the ceo. 345 00:17:51,905 --> 00:17:53,698 We have to do what he says. 346 00:17:53,990 --> 00:17:55,158 Or do we? 347 00:17:55,325 --> 00:17:57,494 I don't know. I don't want to lie down for this, okay? 348 00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:59,496 I don't want to just give up so easily. 349 00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:04,459 Richard, unfortunately, in this case, I think we have to roll over and take it. 350 00:18:04,626 --> 00:18:05,794 Or do we? 351 00:18:06,336 --> 00:18:09,339 - Erlich, you have something to say? - Richard, 352 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:14,302 when George Washington founded a little startup 353 00:18:14,386 --> 00:18:17,889 we've come to know as these United States of America, 354 00:18:17,973 --> 00:18:21,851 and he was tired of getting shit from his ceo, the king of england, 355 00:18:21,977 --> 00:18:25,272 did hejust roll over and take it from behind? 356 00:18:25,355 --> 00:18:29,484 No. He called on his ride-or-die homeboys, 357 00:18:29,985 --> 00:18:32,362 Tommy Jefferson, Benny Franklin, 358 00:18:32,529 --> 00:18:35,240 and Alex Hamilton, who was half-black, so that's dinesh. 359 00:18:35,740 --> 00:18:36,741 I'm not half-black. 360 00:18:36,825 --> 00:18:39,703 He said, "avast, ye fellow badasses, 361 00:18:40,495 --> 00:18:43,373 "let's build this country the way we motherfucking want to." 362 00:18:43,707 --> 00:18:47,002 And so, Richard, if we want to build the platform, 363 00:18:47,085 --> 00:18:49,504 all we need to do is 364 00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:52,132 build the platform. 365 00:18:54,718 --> 00:18:56,219 That was undennhelming. 366 00:18:56,303 --> 00:18:58,847 Perhaps you can go into slightly more detail? 367 00:18:58,930 --> 00:19:01,850 We tell barker exactly what he wants to hear. 368 00:19:01,933 --> 00:19:04,853 That way, he thinks we're being good little boys. 369 00:19:05,145 --> 00:19:06,980 But what we're actually doing 370 00:19:07,063 --> 00:19:08,898 is building the platform. Think about it. 371 00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:10,650 What's he gonna do? 372 00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:13,570 - Call the cops. - Actually, no. 373 00:19:14,112 --> 00:19:17,073 Uh, erlich may be onto something. 374 00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:20,285 If all we gave him was the platform, 375 00:19:21,411 --> 00:19:23,496 Jack would have no other option 376 00:19:23,580 --> 00:19:26,499 than to embrace it and then say it was his idea all along, 377 00:19:26,624 --> 00:19:29,502 because at that point, he can't tell Laurie the truth. 378 00:19:29,586 --> 00:19:31,838 What? That he had absolutely no idea 379 00:19:31,921 --> 00:19:34,049 what was going on inside of his own company? 380 00:19:34,215 --> 00:19:35,675 He'd look like an idiot. 381 00:19:35,925 --> 00:19:38,428 And Laurie wants the platform, anyway, 382 00:19:39,262 --> 00:19:40,764 so she'd be good for it. 383 00:19:42,432 --> 00:19:43,725 Okay. 384 00:19:44,476 --> 00:19:47,479 We build a skunkworks. 385 00:19:48,938 --> 00:19:51,358 A secret company inside the company. 386 00:19:51,441 --> 00:19:54,361 We go all ocean's eleven on his ass. 387 00:19:54,444 --> 00:19:55,987 Hold on. Ocean's eleven? 388 00:19:56,196 --> 00:19:59,991 It's a 2001 casino heist film, starring Julia Roberts and 11 men. 389 00:20:00,158 --> 00:20:01,826 I know what it is, Jared. 390 00:20:01,910 --> 00:20:05,038 I'm saying, not only are we going to have to engineer, 391 00:20:05,121 --> 00:20:07,874 code, and stand up a full platform on our own, 392 00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:09,935 we also have to make Jack and his sales weasels think 393 00:20:09,959 --> 00:20:11,961 we're working on the box the entire time. 394 00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:14,714 And if we fuck anything up and get caught, 395 00:20:14,881 --> 00:20:17,842 he could take our stock and probably have us arrested. 396 00:20:18,176 --> 00:20:20,303 - All right, I'm in. - Well, you're insane. 397 00:20:20,637 --> 00:20:23,473 No, dinesh, that chain is insane. 398 00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:25,683 And not in the membrane. 399 00:20:25,767 --> 00:20:27,685 Jared: Sorry, cypress halal. 400 00:20:28,019 --> 00:20:29,538 Richard: Okay, Jared, settle down. 401 00:20:29,562 --> 00:20:31,523 But this? This is fucking genius. 402 00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:33,942 Okay, how do we even begin to pull it off? 403 00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:36,069 Okay. Well, let's work through it. 404 00:20:36,903 --> 00:20:40,657 I can generate fake status reports, purchase orders, deliverables updates, 405 00:20:40,824 --> 00:20:44,619 and I can liaise with sales to coordinate what custom features we need to pretend to build. 406 00:20:44,702 --> 00:20:45,787 Richard: Okay, great, yeah, 407 00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:47,914 but faking the box is going to be the easy part. 408 00:20:47,997 --> 00:20:50,291 Building the platform is the real challenge. 409 00:20:50,375 --> 00:20:52,168 Gilfoyle, where are we on the server space? 410 00:20:52,335 --> 00:20:53,670 That's gonna be tricky. 411 00:20:53,753 --> 00:20:57,006 When we started moving out of the house, I dismantled Anton. 412 00:20:57,215 --> 00:21:00,802 All the racks, gpus, and cables are in storage at the office. 413 00:21:00,927 --> 00:21:03,647 - We're gonna have to break him out. - That's a shit-ton of hardware. 414 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:06,558 Unless we do it one piece at a time, 415 00:21:06,641 --> 00:21:09,853 like Shawshank redemption or the great escape, you know? 416 00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:11,771 I'd have bigger clothing on the day, but... 417 00:21:11,855 --> 00:21:13,189 - Wait. - Wait. 418 00:21:13,565 --> 00:21:14,774 I've got a better idea. 419 00:21:15,733 --> 00:21:17,735 Let's say these legos are Anton, 420 00:21:17,819 --> 00:21:21,614 sad stacks of server components lying dormant in storage. 421 00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:24,367 Sneaking all of him out would be too difficult. 422 00:21:24,534 --> 00:21:28,913 So, if we can't break Anton out, maybe we can break in. 423 00:21:29,038 --> 00:21:31,291 Stand the servers up right where they are. 424 00:21:31,374 --> 00:21:32,709 - Can we do that? - Easy. 425 00:21:32,834 --> 00:21:36,713 I can run cable through the drop panel in the ceiling 426 00:21:36,838 --> 00:21:39,090 all the way to the building's main power panel. 427 00:21:39,215 --> 00:21:40,633 When I pull a little bit of power 428 00:21:40,717 --> 00:21:42,969 from each of the other tenants, no one will know. 429 00:21:43,052 --> 00:21:45,472 Guys, I hate to keep shitting on your campfire, 430 00:21:45,555 --> 00:21:47,223 but servers are not the real issue. 431 00:21:47,432 --> 00:21:49,517 We have a manpower problem. 432 00:21:49,851 --> 00:21:52,037 There's a ton of engineering to be done on the platform. 433 00:21:52,061 --> 00:21:55,231 Yeah, he's right, but we have to pay them under the table. 434 00:21:55,482 --> 00:21:57,734 I know just the right man for the job. 435 00:21:59,068 --> 00:22:01,905 You guys are fucking nuts, but I dig it. 436 00:22:02,572 --> 00:22:05,074 Here's the deal. I'm going to need the back pay you guys owe me 437 00:22:05,158 --> 00:22:06,438 for when I was working for free, 438 00:22:06,493 --> 00:22:08,411 not to mention lost wages from my old job. 439 00:22:09,537 --> 00:22:12,248 Oh, and damages from when Jared sexually harassed me 440 00:22:12,332 --> 00:22:14,012 into being friends with that Monica chick. 441 00:22:14,375 --> 00:22:16,628 So, all that and you're in? 442 00:22:17,253 --> 00:22:19,130 In? No. 443 00:22:19,214 --> 00:22:22,217 That's just to keep me from telling barker about your secret project. 444 00:22:23,051 --> 00:22:24,719 What? Are you serious? 445 00:22:24,802 --> 00:22:26,054 Oh, yeah. 446 00:22:28,264 --> 00:22:30,934 Well, there goes most of our cash. 447 00:22:31,017 --> 00:22:33,394 Dinesh: We just got extorted for $20,000. 448 00:22:33,478 --> 00:22:35,522 Fuck Carla. She was dead weight, anyway. 449 00:22:35,605 --> 00:22:38,024 - What's next? - Gilfoyle: I just thought of something. 450 00:22:38,107 --> 00:22:40,652 It's a big problem, but I think I've got a solution. 451 00:22:41,319 --> 00:22:43,613 Hello, this is Bertram gilfoyle. 452 00:22:44,155 --> 00:22:45,490 Yes, I'm still available, 453 00:22:45,573 --> 00:22:48,743 and I would reconsider sitting down with you and your clients 454 00:22:48,826 --> 00:22:53,414 if you send four large pizzas to 5230 newell road 455 00:22:53,498 --> 00:22:54,999 in 30 minutes or less. 456 00:23:25,613 --> 00:23:28,199 Okay. I think that covers it. 457 00:23:29,117 --> 00:23:31,536 We've thought of everything. We have a plan. 458 00:23:32,495 --> 00:23:33,830 - Everybody in? - In. 459 00:23:34,289 --> 00:23:35,790 - In. - Fuck yes, I'm in. 460 00:23:35,873 --> 00:23:39,377 And I'm into the idea of taking a bigger leadership role in the company. 461 00:23:39,460 --> 00:23:40,980 We're not gonna make the same mistakes... 462 00:23:41,004 --> 00:23:42,755 Okay, erlich, just... just say, "in." 463 00:23:42,839 --> 00:23:45,466 - We're all just saying, "in." - I'm in-volved. 464 00:23:45,550 --> 00:23:47,510 Hey, you can't spell "involved" without an "in." 465 00:23:47,594 --> 00:23:49,178 Just be in. Uh, dinesh? 466 00:23:52,181 --> 00:23:55,768 All right, fuck it, I'm in. But on one condition. 467 00:23:56,519 --> 00:23:59,188 I'm going to need everyone to solemnly swear 468 00:23:59,272 --> 00:24:01,899 that they will no longer make fun of my gold chain. 469 00:24:02,692 --> 00:24:04,277 Not a word ever again. 470 00:24:04,360 --> 00:24:06,738 Well, guys, I think we can agree to that. 471 00:24:09,157 --> 00:24:11,909 This plan better fucking work with a sacrifice like this. 472 00:24:13,244 --> 00:24:15,955 Shall we drink from the teat of pappy to celebrate? 473 00:24:16,331 --> 00:24:18,708 I think I might actually enjoy going to work now. 474 00:24:20,460 --> 00:24:21,544 Wait. 475 00:24:21,836 --> 00:24:23,671 We can't enjoy going to work. 476 00:24:24,881 --> 00:24:26,549 Meinertzhagen's haversack. 477 00:24:27,342 --> 00:24:29,636 - What? - Meinertzhagen's haversack. 478 00:24:30,386 --> 00:24:31,679 No one? Really? 479 00:24:32,096 --> 00:24:33,973 No one's heard of meinertzhagen's haversack? 480 00:24:34,057 --> 00:24:37,101 Of course I have, Jared. Just explain it to them. 481 00:24:37,268 --> 00:24:40,605 Well, it's a principle of military deception. 482 00:24:40,688 --> 00:24:44,233 Essentially, it means you have to continue to act the part. 483 00:24:44,567 --> 00:24:48,237 So, as far as anyone knows, we're still building a box that we hate. 484 00:24:48,613 --> 00:24:50,865 - We need to act like it. - Dinesh: That's exactly right. 485 00:24:51,699 --> 00:24:54,577 If we do anything differently, barker's going to be onto us. 486 00:24:54,661 --> 00:24:56,829 We have to keep complaining about barker. 487 00:24:56,913 --> 00:24:58,956 We have to keep bitching about the box. 488 00:24:59,123 --> 00:25:01,793 We have to keep making fun of your gold chain. 489 00:25:02,085 --> 00:25:05,630 We have to. We don't have any other choice, dinesh. 490 00:25:05,713 --> 00:25:08,716 - He's right. - It's a shame, bell biv dinesh, 491 00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:12,720 but unfortunately, that chain is poison. 492 00:25:12,929 --> 00:25:15,056 All right. To skunkworks! 493 00:25:15,139 --> 00:25:18,476 Hey, all right. I don't usually drink at 7:30 in the morning, but... 494 00:25:19,602 --> 00:25:20,603 All right. 495 00:25:25,274 --> 00:25:29,028 Hey, guys, um, look, we have to shred everything in this house 496 00:25:29,237 --> 00:25:32,115 that pertains to skunkworks. If anyone catches wind 497 00:25:32,323 --> 00:25:34,742 of anything that we've done here, we are fucked. 498 00:25:39,789 --> 00:25:41,708 Okay, you guys, this is it. 499 00:25:41,791 --> 00:25:43,292 No turning back now. 500 00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:46,671 Dinesh, I have a few premium chain insults 501 00:25:46,754 --> 00:25:49,298 that I'm going to lay on you when we get in there. 502 00:25:49,674 --> 00:25:52,385 Not for myself, obviously, but for the team. 503 00:25:52,468 --> 00:25:54,971 I mightjust have one, too. Sorry in advance. 504 00:25:55,054 --> 00:25:56,305 Yeah. Great. 505 00:25:58,933 --> 00:26:00,518 Have at it, assholes. 506 00:26:26,294 --> 00:26:27,420 Hey, dinesh, nice chain. 507 00:26:27,503 --> 00:26:30,023 Do you choke your mother with it when you put your penis in her butthole? 508 00:26:30,047 --> 00:26:31,924 What the fuck? Oh, shit! 509 00:26:32,675 --> 00:26:35,261 - Whoa, Richard. - Here, I've got it. 510 00:26:35,595 --> 00:26:38,389 No, no, no, that's private. Excuse me. 511 00:26:39,932 --> 00:26:42,185 - Skunkworks? - Private information. 512 00:26:45,062 --> 00:26:46,564 Uh, Keith, where are you going? 513 00:26:47,482 --> 00:26:50,693 Richard, why did you bring all the skunkwork docs into the office? 514 00:26:50,902 --> 00:26:52,779 You were supposed to shred those. 515 00:26:52,862 --> 00:26:54,447 Yes, but I was gonna shred them here, 516 00:26:54,530 --> 00:26:56,699 because we don't have a shredder at the house, do we? 517 00:26:57,867 --> 00:26:58,910 Guys? 518 00:27:00,495 --> 00:27:02,038 My office. Now.