1 00:00:06,965 --> 00:00:09,801 How can Gavin belson claim that he owns pied Piper? 2 00:00:09,885 --> 00:00:11,970 I mean, this whole lawsuit is insane, right? 3 00:00:12,262 --> 00:00:14,139 Well, let me ask you something, Richie. 4 00:00:14,223 --> 00:00:16,642 And I need you to be totally straight with me. 5 00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:21,688 Was pied Piper related in any way 6 00:00:21,772 --> 00:00:24,107 to what you were doing when you were working at hooli? 7 00:00:24,274 --> 00:00:25,692 No. No, not at all. 8 00:00:25,776 --> 00:00:28,320 I was doing quality assurance for mobile messaging. 9 00:00:28,403 --> 00:00:30,280 It had nothing to do with compression. 10 00:00:30,364 --> 00:00:32,658 They didn't even have a compression division at that time. 11 00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:35,661 And did you work on pied Piper on hooli time 12 00:00:35,744 --> 00:00:38,413 or use hooli equipment to develop it in any way 13 00:00:38,497 --> 00:00:41,333 - at any time, Richie? - No, and no. 14 00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:45,254 Great. And by the way, 15 00:00:45,337 --> 00:00:48,382 always tell me that. And tell yourself that. 16 00:00:48,465 --> 00:00:51,635 Because if you believe it, ajurywill, too. 17 00:00:52,511 --> 00:00:54,638 I do believe it. It's the truth. 18 00:00:55,097 --> 00:00:57,075 Great. That one was even better than the other one. 19 00:00:57,099 --> 00:00:59,851 I love it. Always say it exactly like that. 20 00:01:00,519 --> 00:01:02,729 Yeah, okay. Look, um... 21 00:01:04,147 --> 00:01:05,941 We're going to win this, right? 22 00:01:06,024 --> 00:01:08,777 Richie, if what you just told me is the truth, 23 00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:12,447 and don't tell me if you lied, 24 00:01:12,531 --> 00:01:13,991 Gavin's got nothing here. 25 00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:16,451 This is a classic intimidation lawsuit 26 00:01:16,535 --> 00:01:20,247 designed to freeze you until after nucleus comes to market. 27 00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:23,333 It's got all the usual boilerplate nonsense. 28 00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:26,336 "Breach of contract," "unjust enrichment," 29 00:01:26,420 --> 00:01:27,838 "breach of non-solicitation," 30 00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:30,591 and the hiring of someone named Donald Dunn. 31 00:01:30,674 --> 00:01:32,926 Jared. We call him Jared. 32 00:01:33,010 --> 00:01:35,971 Changing his name to get out of it, clever but irrelevant, 33 00:01:36,054 --> 00:01:39,224 because all we care about are the intellectual property claims. 34 00:01:39,308 --> 00:01:41,685 And we will win this. 35 00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:44,234 - Good. - But we're going to have to lawyer up. 36 00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:46,982 What do you mean? Aren't you our lawyer? 37 00:01:47,065 --> 00:01:49,735 I'm not a litigator. That's what you need. 38 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:51,778 Another lawyer? Really? 39 00:01:51,862 --> 00:01:54,573 Lawyers, Richie. You don't want to mess around here. 40 00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:57,951 A young start-up with an ip lawsuit hanging over its head? 41 00:01:58,285 --> 00:02:01,038 Lwouldn't want to be a part of that team. 42 00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:04,625 Well, but you are a part of that team. 43 00:02:04,708 --> 00:02:07,961 I'm part of the team that team is on. 44 00:02:08,754 --> 00:02:11,757 Yeah. It just sounds really expensive. 45 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:15,385 Says the guy who just got bukkaked with fat term sheets. 46 00:02:15,594 --> 00:02:17,304 Welcome to the business, Richie. 47 00:02:17,387 --> 00:02:21,016 Look, wherever we're at with your funding, legal fees will be worked into the deal. 48 00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:23,477 You've got raviga. You're covered. 49 00:02:24,019 --> 00:02:25,062 Relax. 50 00:02:26,188 --> 00:02:28,982 "We're out"? What do you mean, "we're out"? 51 00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:32,611 Was it not clear from the context? 52 00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:36,990 We, at raviga, are out of the business of funding pied Piper, 53 00:02:37,074 --> 00:02:39,826 at least while the hooli lawsuit remains unresolved. 54 00:02:39,910 --> 00:02:41,995 That suit is total nonsense. 55 00:02:42,079 --> 00:02:44,790 Nonsense is not a quantifiable metric, Monica. 56 00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:46,333 Risk is. 57 00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:49,336 Funding any early-stage company is a high-risk proposition, 58 00:02:49,419 --> 00:02:51,630 but compound that uncertainty with a legal cloud 59 00:02:51,713 --> 00:02:54,299 over the company's intellectual property, and it's untenable. 60 00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:57,844 And that is just the financial risk. There is also a legal risk. 61 00:02:57,928 --> 00:03:00,013 We could become embroiled in Gavin belson's lawsuit 62 00:03:00,097 --> 00:03:01,348 for aiding and abetting. 63 00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:04,935 And there is a political risk for the firm, 64 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:07,062 but especially for me as its new leader. 65 00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:10,732 I'm being heavily scrutinized from both within and without. 66 00:03:10,941 --> 00:03:14,820 I cannot have my first decision post-Peter be one with such dubious fundamentals. 67 00:03:14,903 --> 00:03:16,571 It's a rudimentary decision. 68 00:03:16,822 --> 00:03:18,615 How am I supposed to tell them this? 69 00:03:18,782 --> 00:03:21,827 In my experience, it's best to look a person in the eye 70 00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:25,288 and deliver the information with warmth and compassion. 71 00:03:27,958 --> 00:03:29,042 Okay. 72 00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:30,961 One other suggestion. 73 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,879 Dress unattractively when you tell them. 74 00:03:32,963 --> 00:03:36,049 I read a study. The less sexual interest they feel for you, 75 00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:39,010 the less perturbing it will be. It sounds strange, 76 00:03:39,094 --> 00:03:40,429 but it's credible. 77 00:03:40,512 --> 00:03:44,891 May I suggest the beige ensemble 78 00:03:44,975 --> 00:03:47,477 in which you came to work... Tuesday? 79 00:03:51,982 --> 00:03:54,484 Things are just really different at raviga, 80 00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,903 and I had nothing to do with the decision. 81 00:03:57,487 --> 00:03:59,781 Guys, I'm so, so sorry. 82 00:04:00,449 --> 00:04:02,218 Wait, so the company that offered us the most 83 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:04,745 until Richard talked them into offering us the least 84 00:04:04,828 --> 00:04:06,204 is now offering us nothing? 85 00:04:06,288 --> 00:04:09,207 But the fact that you're so sorry makes it all better. 86 00:04:09,291 --> 00:04:11,626 You guys will be fine. You'll find someone else. 87 00:04:11,710 --> 00:04:15,255 We don't want someone else, Monica. The whole point of going with you guys 88 00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:17,215 was because we trust you guys. 89 00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:19,760 - Trusted. - We still have our 5% stake, 90 00:04:19,843 --> 00:04:21,803 and Laurie said that I can still sit on the board, 91 00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:23,638 which means I can still come to meetings... 92 00:04:23,722 --> 00:04:25,015 Can I say something here? 93 00:04:25,140 --> 00:04:27,934 First off, Monica, you're not fooling any of us for even a second 94 00:04:28,018 --> 00:04:30,771 with your dress-shitty-to-ease-the-pain routine. 95 00:04:30,854 --> 00:04:32,564 It's a classic chick break-up move, 96 00:04:32,647 --> 00:04:35,525 and you're not very good at it, either. You look great. 97 00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:38,236 Yeah, beige is a good color for you. 98 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:39,696 You're a true Autumn. 99 00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:41,740 Secondly, who cares? 100 00:04:41,907 --> 00:04:46,077 We have a three-foot stack of term sheets from the top vcs on the face of the planet. 101 00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:49,414 So the top one fell out. As Jay z says, 102 00:04:49,498 --> 00:04:50,791 "on to the next one." 103 00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:52,709 Jared, who's our next best offer? 104 00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:55,837 Between the numbers and the reputation, 105 00:04:55,921 --> 00:04:57,547 that would be Coleman Blair partners. 106 00:04:57,839 --> 00:04:59,466 I'm gonna go put my face on. 107 00:04:59,549 --> 00:05:02,969 Call Coleman Blair. Tell them that Santa claus is coming early this year, 108 00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:06,223 and he's bringing a big bag of pied Piper. 109 00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:12,187 Well, I'm going to leave this room without saying goodbye to you. 110 00:05:12,771 --> 00:05:16,191 I'm sure you can find your way out with one of your two faces. 111 00:05:18,068 --> 00:05:19,820 Sorry about that. 112 00:05:19,903 --> 00:05:22,197 The guys are just a little emotional. 113 00:05:22,447 --> 00:05:24,407 No, I get it. 114 00:05:24,574 --> 00:05:26,660 And look, I probably shouldn't say this, 115 00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:30,038 but there are a lot of really great vcs in town. 116 00:05:30,914 --> 00:05:33,416 You'll be fine. I just... 117 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,418 Just what? 118 00:05:35,585 --> 00:05:38,380 Just tell them that you're really excited to be in business with them 119 00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:40,757 and try to close quickly. 120 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:42,759 You know, while momentum is still on your side. 121 00:05:55,772 --> 00:05:59,025 Well, it's gonna break a lot of hearts on sand hill road 122 00:05:59,109 --> 00:06:01,069 but congratulations. 123 00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:04,614 We decided to go with you. 124 00:06:06,116 --> 00:06:09,202 Uh, we were told that you were going with raviga. 125 00:06:09,327 --> 00:06:12,080 And I am happy to say that is no longer the case. 126 00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:14,624 We're really excited to be in business with you guys. 127 00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:17,502 Can I ask... did you walk away from them, 128 00:06:17,586 --> 00:06:21,172 or did they walk away from you because of the lawsuit? 129 00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:24,968 Ah, that lawsuit we know to be frivolous. 130 00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:27,596 Yeah. 131 00:06:29,514 --> 00:06:30,974 Is that a yes folder? 132 00:06:35,312 --> 00:06:37,397 So, no pastries today, huh? 133 00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:40,400 So both raviga and Coleman Blair partners passed 134 00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:43,445 - because of the lawsuit? - Frivolous suit. It's nothing. 135 00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:45,780 Well, it's not nothing. 136 00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:49,200 Look, before we start negging each other... 137 00:06:49,284 --> 00:06:53,288 - Negging? - It's a term used in sexual manipulation. 138 00:06:54,247 --> 00:06:56,458 Maybe not relevant here. 139 00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:03,048 We're really excited to be in business with you guys. 140 00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:04,132 Hmm... 141 00:07:06,343 --> 00:07:08,428 We actually see this lawsuit as a positive. 142 00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:12,599 We will win, and it proves that we have something worth suing over. 143 00:07:12,682 --> 00:07:16,645 And yet raviga, Coleman Blair partners 144 00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:19,940 and wood opal fund have all passed. 145 00:07:20,815 --> 00:07:23,526 We're really excited to be in business with you guys. 146 00:07:23,985 --> 00:07:24,986 Hmm... 147 00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:34,955 You know term sheets aren't legally binding documents, right? 148 00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:37,499 Of course not. They're just guidelines 149 00:07:37,582 --> 00:07:39,042 that people follow 150 00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:42,003 unless, of course, they're pussies. 151 00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:45,340 You came in here three days ago. 152 00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:48,468 You were arrogant, condescending and offensive. 153 00:07:48,551 --> 00:07:50,637 Now you come in here, you call me a pussy... 154 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:53,473 Whoa! I did not call you a pussy. 155 00:07:53,890 --> 00:07:58,645 I said that people who break term sheet agreements are pussies, 156 00:07:58,728 --> 00:08:02,065 and that hasn't happened... yet. 157 00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:06,027 Thus, I haven't called you a pussy... yet. 158 00:08:06,236 --> 00:08:07,636 You're in control of the situation. 159 00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:11,658 Hooli has the unlimited resources to hamstring you 160 00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:15,078 until nucleus comes out, at which point, they will be the market standard, 161 00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:17,414 and you will be irrelevant. 162 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:20,667 We're here to invest in innovation, 163 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:22,168 not lawyers, 164 00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:24,629 so let me be perfectly honest with you. 165 00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:26,840 Your behavior 166 00:08:26,923 --> 00:08:29,384 was boorish and juvenile... 167 00:08:29,467 --> 00:08:32,554 You were rude, vulgar and uncouth. 168 00:08:32,762 --> 00:08:35,849 You were coarse, graceless and puerile. 169 00:08:35,932 --> 00:08:39,352 Obscene, insulting and ignorant. 170 00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:40,562 Ignorant? 171 00:08:40,645 --> 00:08:44,357 You called me a shit-riddled, anal wasteland. 172 00:08:44,441 --> 00:08:47,902 You called me a chode-gargling fuck-toilet. 173 00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:54,409 We're really excited to be in business with you guys. 174 00:08:54,993 --> 00:08:57,203 Uh, guys, I hate to panic you 175 00:08:57,287 --> 00:08:59,289 until I'm absolutely sure it's warranted, 176 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:03,126 but Richard just texted me. We got our seventh pass. 177 00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:05,712 - Fuck. - Fuckin' Gavin belson. 178 00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:07,338 All the vcs turned on us. 179 00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:11,217 Apparently, erlich used some pretty assertive vaginal metaphors last round, 180 00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:13,344 so it's been a bit of an uphill climb. 181 00:09:13,428 --> 00:09:15,847 I think we're going have to crunch our burn-rate again. 182 00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:19,267 Even with the $50,000 from techcrunch, we're not going to last very long. 183 00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:20,518 Wait, wait, wait. No, no, no. 184 00:09:20,602 --> 00:09:23,563 Richard said we were going to split that money, right? 185 00:09:23,646 --> 00:09:24,689 $10,000 each? 186 00:09:24,773 --> 00:09:27,358 I don't think we can afford to do that anymore. 187 00:09:27,442 --> 00:09:28,526 Fuck! 188 00:09:30,987 --> 00:09:34,449 I just donated $5,000 to my cousin wajeed's kickstarter campaign. 189 00:09:35,158 --> 00:09:39,412 He's trying to get an app called bro off the ground. 190 00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:40,497 Bro? 191 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,725 It's a messaging app that let's you send the word "bro" 192 00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,084 to everyone else who has the app. 193 00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:46,002 So it's exactly like the yo app. 194 00:09:46,086 --> 00:09:48,338 Yes, but less original. 195 00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,066 Why don't you just cancel your credit card? 196 00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:52,383 That way kickstarter can't collect your pledge. 197 00:09:52,467 --> 00:09:54,844 Dinesh: Well, I would love to, but he looks up to me. 198 00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:57,689 I was always like the cool cousin of the family, you know what I mean? 199 00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:59,224 Wait. 200 00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:02,477 Did you just say you were "the cool cousin"? 201 00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:03,770 Yeah. 202 00:10:05,188 --> 00:10:06,481 Please explain. 203 00:10:07,232 --> 00:10:11,194 Well, when we were kids, I was the one getting good grades, 204 00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:13,822 I was the one who was planning for my future, 205 00:10:13,905 --> 00:10:16,699 I would bring gifts for my teachers 'cause they worked so hard. 206 00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:20,370 You know, cool stuff. He was always getting in trouble, 207 00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:23,623 he got caught smoking opium in the tool shed, 208 00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:25,625 he crashed my uncle's motorbike. 209 00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:27,418 And you think you're the cool one? 210 00:10:27,502 --> 00:10:29,045 Yeah, it's different in Pakistan. 211 00:10:29,129 --> 00:10:31,381 I've never been, but I know it isn't. 212 00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:35,093 Oh, here it is. Bro 2 bro is a 1-bit communication messenger, 213 00:10:35,218 --> 00:10:36,970 "the fastest way to speak your mind." 214 00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:39,222 As long as what's on your mind is the word "bro." 215 00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:41,975 Well, he's still shy of his goal. 216 00:10:42,058 --> 00:10:44,561 If he doesn't get there, none of the pledges get collected. 217 00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:49,607 I feel horrible for what I'm about to say, 218 00:10:49,691 --> 00:10:51,151 but I really hope he fails. 219 00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:54,696 That is the first cool thing you've ever said. 220 00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:59,075 You know what? This may not be an issue. 221 00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:01,452 Richard and erlich are heading into their last stop. 222 00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:04,289 I trust erlich can be diplomatic and pull it off. 223 00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:08,042 A few days ago, I came in here and I did some things 224 00:11:08,126 --> 00:11:11,004 and said some things that I should not have. 225 00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:13,965 Also, we would like to open about the fact that pied Piper 226 00:11:14,048 --> 00:11:16,843 is involved in a complicated legal matter 227 00:11:16,926 --> 00:11:19,596 that could affect our potential value. 228 00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:22,599 And that being said, we are open 229 00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:25,768 to renegotiating the funding terms to reflect that. 230 00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:29,355 But most of all, I want to thank you. 231 00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:31,232 Thank you 232 00:11:31,316 --> 00:11:34,027 for allowing me to come in here today 233 00:11:34,110 --> 00:11:37,488 and be vulnerable and to apologize. 234 00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:42,619 Mr. Bachman, I didn't have you come all the way back here today 235 00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:44,537 just to apologize to me. 236 00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:47,498 Please, it's erlich. And you didn't? 237 00:11:48,082 --> 00:11:51,127 Of course not. I asked you back 238 00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:55,173 because three days ago I sat right here, 239 00:11:55,256 --> 00:11:58,343 and iwatched you put your testes on this reclaimed 240 00:11:58,426 --> 00:12:00,720 Brazilian koa wood table, 241 00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:04,307 and now you're going to sit there 242 00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:06,851 and you're going watch me do the same goddamn thing to you. 243 00:12:07,310 --> 00:12:09,395 - What? What? - My turn. 244 00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:11,773 - No. But it's your table! - Yes, it is my table. 245 00:12:11,856 --> 00:12:14,096 Richard: Oh, man. Please don't do that. Erlich: Good god! 246 00:12:14,317 --> 00:12:16,045 I think you should cancel your kickstarter campaign. 247 00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:18,988 - Whoa... what? - Listen, I love your idea. 248 00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,491 - You know I do, right, bro? - Bro? 249 00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:24,428 Bro? Like, it lets you send the word "bro" to anyone else that has the app. 250 00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:27,247 I know what it is. You've explained it to me so many times. 251 00:12:27,330 --> 00:12:29,499 I love it, but you know, I'm not saying... 252 00:12:29,666 --> 00:12:32,210 Other people are, like, saying horrible stuff. 253 00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:35,380 I'm supporting you, and they're saying, like, 254 00:12:35,463 --> 00:12:38,091 "oh, he couldn't get funding, so he had to go to kickstarter 255 00:12:38,174 --> 00:12:40,927 "like some charity case collecting money from strangers, 256 00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:43,763 "like a street beggar who sits on the ground, 257 00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:46,266 - "eats trash." - Really? 258 00:12:46,349 --> 00:12:47,892 Yeah. 259 00:12:48,643 --> 00:12:50,770 Look, just between us, 260 00:12:50,853 --> 00:12:53,189 I was thinking about canceling, anyways, 261 00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:55,608 because we're way, way under our goal. 262 00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:58,611 Really? Really? 263 00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:00,446 Like, embarrassingly low. 264 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:03,866 You know what? 265 00:13:04,659 --> 00:13:06,953 - That sucks. - It does really suck. 266 00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:08,955 But I think it's the right thing to do. 267 00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:11,666 - Well, you're right. - 'Cause you don't want bad word of mouth 268 00:13:11,749 --> 00:13:14,252 to kill such a great idea. 269 00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:16,879 Yeah, like with what happened to your app. Yeah. 270 00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:20,133 What do you mean, what happened to my app? 271 00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:23,594 Everybody started talking about how bad it was, and then you ended up giving up. 272 00:13:23,678 --> 00:13:26,306 I didn't give up. I left to go work on pied Piper. 273 00:13:26,389 --> 00:13:29,142 So you're saying, then, that if pied Piper didn't happen, 274 00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:30,785 you would still be working on your app? 275 00:13:30,852 --> 00:13:33,438 Even though all those people just shit, like, all over... 276 00:13:33,521 --> 00:13:34,522 Like all of them. 277 00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:37,452 Who are these people? Who is shitting on it? 278 00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:42,071 Our cousins, tab, farooq, imran and those people. 279 00:13:42,322 --> 00:13:43,823 This girl I'm fucking. 280 00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:47,368 What have those people ever accomplished? Nothing! 281 00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:49,912 The girl I'm fucking was in the Olympics. 282 00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:52,707 People are idiots! Standing on the sidelines criticizing 283 00:13:52,790 --> 00:13:54,959 everyone who's actually trying to do things. 284 00:13:55,251 --> 00:13:56,252 You really think so? 285 00:13:56,419 --> 00:14:00,340 Yes! Yes! Absolutely! Fuck those people! 286 00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:01,942 You know what? You're right, you're right. 287 00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:04,052 That's what makes you so cool, 288 00:14:04,135 --> 00:14:05,779 that you have the fucking backbone to say that. 289 00:14:05,803 --> 00:14:07,443 - Fuck those people. - Yeah, fuck 'em all. 290 00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:08,765 - Fuck those people. - Fuck them. 291 00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:11,351 I'm not going to cancel my kickstarter campaign, fuck 'em. 292 00:14:11,434 --> 00:14:13,353 Wait, hold on one second. 293 00:14:13,436 --> 00:14:15,331 Yeah, no, you know what? You're right. Fuck them. 294 00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:18,608 I'm not going to cancel it, and I'm going to throw 295 00:14:18,691 --> 00:14:20,109 a huge kickstarter party. 296 00:14:20,193 --> 00:14:21,713 I'm gonna invite everyone that I know, 297 00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:24,197 and we're going to put bro over the top. 298 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:27,367 Everybody, this guy is the coolest cousin! 299 00:14:27,450 --> 00:14:29,660 Thank you for the $5,000, eh? 300 00:14:29,744 --> 00:14:31,412 Whoo! 301 00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:36,167 At least I have the common decency to shave mine. 302 00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:37,752 Before you pull them out in public? 303 00:14:37,835 --> 00:14:39,980 So you're complaining about the guy's sense of decorum? 304 00:14:40,004 --> 00:14:42,256 Absolutely. We live in a society. 305 00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:43,966 I can't believe we are this fucked. 306 00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:46,969 Guys, something interesting just happened. 307 00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:49,722 So, I downloaded wajeed's bro app out of curiosity 308 00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:51,432 and found it very sticky. 309 00:14:51,516 --> 00:14:53,684 I've never felt like I was anyone's bro before. 310 00:14:53,768 --> 00:14:56,479 The only people who have used that term with me were assailants, 311 00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:59,816 but I started bro-ing people and getting bro'ed back. 312 00:15:00,066 --> 00:15:01,317 This is my nightmare. 313 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,903 And all of a sudden, I'm bros with all kinds of people, 314 00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:06,155 including a guy from branscomb ventures. 315 00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:09,158 Branscomb? That's a solid shop. 316 00:15:09,283 --> 00:15:11,828 Yes. So we bro'ed about this and that, 317 00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:14,580 and then when he heard I worked at pied Piper, 318 00:15:14,664 --> 00:15:18,042 he got excited, he triple liked my bro, and he asked about meeting us. 319 00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:20,795 Okay, but does he know about the lawsuit? 320 00:15:21,129 --> 00:15:23,589 Yeah, I told him. I mean, you know what they say, 321 00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:25,758 - "bros disclose." - No one says that. 322 00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:28,594 Wait, doesn't branscomb already have its own compression play? 323 00:15:28,678 --> 00:15:30,158 Yeah, but not a good one, apparently. 324 00:15:30,221 --> 00:15:33,307 I mean, they want to sit down with all of us, engineers included. 325 00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:36,185 That only happens in a second or third meeting. 326 00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:38,187 Technical due diligence. That's good. 327 00:15:38,271 --> 00:15:41,274 Okay, Jared, what did you tell him? 328 00:15:41,357 --> 00:15:44,068 Um, I was waiting a bit to bro him back, 329 00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:45,570 so that I don't seem over-eager. 330 00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:46,863 Bro him back! Bro him back. 331 00:15:47,071 --> 00:15:48,197 Bro him. 332 00:15:48,406 --> 00:15:49,991 We're not dead yet, guys. 333 00:15:50,158 --> 00:15:52,452 Well, get some sleep, my bros. 334 00:15:52,535 --> 00:15:54,871 I'll set the meeting, and, um, 335 00:15:54,954 --> 00:15:57,915 then I'll go find some hoes to prioritize behind you. 336 00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,878 Are you trying to say, "bros before hoes"? 337 00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:04,505 It's sexist, but it's about friendship. 338 00:16:06,549 --> 00:16:09,302 Middle-out is based on a completely new probabilistic model. 339 00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:11,262 It finds long range structures that's hidden 340 00:16:11,345 --> 00:16:14,223 even to domain-optimized algorithms. 341 00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:17,059 I'm sorry, is this too in the weeds? 342 00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:19,270 Not at all. Take us into the weeds. 343 00:16:19,437 --> 00:16:21,814 Wouldn't you rather hear our go-to-market strategy? 344 00:16:21,898 --> 00:16:23,774 You mentioned something earlier about 345 00:16:23,858 --> 00:16:27,487 stacking middle-out on top of another compression algorithm. 346 00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:28,821 How does that even work? 347 00:16:28,905 --> 00:16:32,116 I mean, you can't compress something that's already compressed to entropy. 348 00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:33,200 Right? 349 00:16:33,242 --> 00:16:34,785 Wow. Uh... 350 00:16:34,869 --> 00:16:37,556 I don't really get too many of those questions in meetings like these. 351 00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:40,791 But it's actually easier if I show you. 352 00:16:40,875 --> 00:16:42,835 - May I? - Absolutely. 353 00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:45,713 Okay, great. Here I go. 354 00:16:45,796 --> 00:16:48,841 Stacking middle-out is actually very real. 355 00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:51,511 - Let's take... - Do you have to pee, Jared? 356 00:16:51,594 --> 00:16:53,721 Because I have to pee. 357 00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:55,932 I would love to pee. 358 00:16:58,142 --> 00:17:01,145 Richard: There. When you stack middle-out... 359 00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:05,942 - They're brain-raping us, right? - They definitely are. 360 00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:08,110 Shit. All right, wait here. 361 00:17:15,284 --> 00:17:17,078 What are you doing? 362 00:17:17,161 --> 00:17:19,264 I told you I didn't have to go pee. What is happening? 363 00:17:19,288 --> 00:17:21,558 Those guys are never going to fund us. We need to leave now. 364 00:17:21,582 --> 00:17:23,543 What are you talking about? This is going great. 365 00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:26,226 I mean, vcs are never interested in how middle-out actually works. 366 00:17:26,295 --> 00:17:28,273 Of course they're interested, because they want to steal it. 367 00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:29,799 This is a classic brain-rape. 368 00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:32,009 - What? - We did it at hooli all the time. 369 00:17:32,093 --> 00:17:35,054 We'd schedule meetings with companies so they'd explain their technology, 370 00:17:35,137 --> 00:17:37,056 then we'd use their ideas in our products. 371 00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:39,225 - Like what happened to yelp. - Yes. 372 00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:41,370 It's like when somebody says they want to go birding with you, 373 00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:43,413 but really they just want to get you alone in the woods, 374 00:17:43,437 --> 00:17:44,757 so they can take your binoculars. 375 00:17:44,981 --> 00:17:47,316 Look, those guys aren't doing technical due diligence. 376 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:50,111 They're not even consultants. They're a compression company. 377 00:17:50,194 --> 00:17:52,321 One of them has braces, for fuck's sake. 378 00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:54,198 - Braces! - Shit. 379 00:17:54,282 --> 00:17:55,801 Dinesh and gilfoyle, they're still in there. 380 00:17:55,825 --> 00:17:58,953 Middle-out doesn't restrict itself to h-264's two-dimensional grid 381 00:17:59,036 --> 00:18:00,830 or time-bound patterns at all. 382 00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:03,124 This is great. Great. 383 00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:07,044 You know, they usually don't bring us to these things and I think I know why. 384 00:18:07,128 --> 00:18:09,255 It's 'cause we steal the show. 385 00:18:09,338 --> 00:18:10,649 You guys are really helpful. 386 00:18:10,673 --> 00:18:13,026 Erlich: All right, shut it down. Meeting over. We're out of here. 387 00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:15,136 No more pictures, fucking assholes. 388 00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:17,888 Dinesh: I could email you... Erlich: Why is this not coming off? 389 00:18:18,306 --> 00:18:20,891 No, you're not emailing anybody. 390 00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:23,769 Erlich: Thank you, Jared. 391 00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:25,146 We were bros. 392 00:18:26,439 --> 00:18:27,815 We were bros. 393 00:18:28,733 --> 00:18:31,235 Wajeed: Yo, yo, yo, just want to thank everyone 394 00:18:31,319 --> 00:18:33,362 for coming out to this kickstarter party for bro, 395 00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:35,865 the app that proves that you can change the world 396 00:18:35,948 --> 00:18:37,533 in just one word! 397 00:18:39,368 --> 00:18:41,787 Actually, it's just half a word. 398 00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:43,998 I know. It's so efficient. 399 00:18:44,707 --> 00:18:47,668 Wajeed: Now as you can see, we're just $5,000 away from our goal. 400 00:18:47,752 --> 00:18:49,503 But we got a whole hour left, people. 401 00:18:49,587 --> 00:18:51,547 So let's get those "bronations" going. 402 00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:53,299 Donations are funny, right? 403 00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:55,801 I mean, why would anybody donate to something like bro 404 00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:58,554 and not a homeless shelter or schools? 405 00:18:58,638 --> 00:19:01,057 Cancer? That's still out there. 406 00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:03,309 Any of us could have it. 407 00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:04,894 Food for thought... 408 00:19:05,394 --> 00:19:07,063 Which a lot of people also don't have. 409 00:19:08,189 --> 00:19:09,440 Have a great party, guys. 410 00:19:09,732 --> 00:19:11,192 You could donate if you want, 411 00:19:11,275 --> 00:19:14,362 but he's throwing away half the world's market. 412 00:19:14,445 --> 00:19:16,572 You know what "bro" means in mandarin? 413 00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:18,366 It means "asshole." 414 00:19:18,532 --> 00:19:21,702 You know what "bro" means in Portuguese? "Rapist." 415 00:19:21,911 --> 00:19:24,622 In Latvian, it roughly translates to 416 00:19:24,705 --> 00:19:27,083 "one who beheads the Messiah." 417 00:19:27,416 --> 00:19:30,878 In Finnish, "bro" means "a baby's erection." 418 00:19:31,629 --> 00:19:35,007 In urdu, "bro" is actually short for "brokhta ver," 419 00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:38,260 which means "a dildo for a man." 420 00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:39,762 A man's dildo. 421 00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:41,972 "Fecal eclipse." 422 00:19:42,056 --> 00:19:43,724 It loses something in translation. 423 00:19:43,808 --> 00:19:45,685 We don't have a word for it. They do. 424 00:19:45,768 --> 00:19:47,144 It's "bro." 425 00:19:47,436 --> 00:19:49,480 You know what "bro" means in navajo? 426 00:19:49,563 --> 00:19:52,608 A reallyjoyful person with mental disabilities. 427 00:19:52,692 --> 00:19:54,527 All right, less than a minute to go, people. 428 00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:57,446 And we're just two grand away. Come on, you can do it, come on. 429 00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:00,950 That's that I'm talking about! 430 00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:04,495 $500 from gilfoyle_luci4. 431 00:20:04,578 --> 00:20:07,748 Where you at, bro? Wherever you're at, you're my bro. 432 00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:13,879 Looks like I got here just in time, bro. 433 00:20:13,963 --> 00:20:16,358 What the fuck did you do that for? Do you know how this works? 434 00:20:16,382 --> 00:20:18,151 If you put him over the edge, we both owe him money? 435 00:20:18,175 --> 00:20:20,886 But you have to pay a lot more. 436 00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:23,448 - Wajeed: 30 seconds left! - I'm effectively leveraging your misery. 437 00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:24,491 Wajeed: Somebody! Anybody! 438 00:20:24,515 --> 00:20:26,034 I'm like the Warren buffett of fucking with you. 439 00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:28,728 - Wajeed: $1,100! Come on, bros. - You're a dick. 440 00:20:28,811 --> 00:20:32,231 Only $1,100 left. I might be good for that. 441 00:20:32,732 --> 00:20:35,484 - Gilfoyle, please. - I'll tell you what. 442 00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:38,904 You pay me $500, and I won't pledge anymore. 443 00:20:38,988 --> 00:20:41,282 For 500 bucks, you save $5,000. 444 00:20:41,490 --> 00:20:42,825 I'm not giving you a dime. 445 00:20:42,908 --> 00:20:44,636 - All: Nine, eight, seven... - Okay, I'm pledging. 446 00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:47,747 No. Stop. $500. It costs $500. Let me... Stop it. $500. 447 00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:49,081 - Okay. - All: Three, two... 448 00:20:49,165 --> 00:20:51,500 It doesn't matter. It's not like he's going to make his... 449 00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:55,337 What the fuck? 450 00:20:55,421 --> 00:20:57,923 Yes, yes, yes! We did it! Who was it? 451 00:20:58,007 --> 00:20:59,633 That's not how that was supposed to go. 452 00:20:59,759 --> 00:21:01,927 Mika! Mika, I love you, mika! 453 00:21:03,345 --> 00:21:05,556 Who is that tall Asian woman? 454 00:21:06,724 --> 00:21:08,934 Some woman that wajeed is fucking. 455 00:21:09,810 --> 00:21:11,437 She was in the Olympics. 456 00:21:14,190 --> 00:21:16,442 He really is the cool cousin. 457 00:21:17,401 --> 00:21:19,403 Even with the 50 grand we got at techcrunch, 458 00:21:19,487 --> 00:21:22,281 we've only got a few weeks left to runway before we crash and burn. 459 00:21:22,364 --> 00:21:24,074 Richard, if it makes you feel any better, 460 00:21:24,158 --> 00:21:26,202 I put that branscomb guy in his place. 461 00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:27,620 I dropped him from bro, 462 00:21:27,703 --> 00:21:30,539 but not before I sent one final angry "bro." 463 00:21:31,165 --> 00:21:33,885 What do you mean? You can make them angry? You can make "bros" angry? 464 00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:36,504 Well, he made this bro angry. 465 00:21:36,587 --> 00:21:40,049 But technically, no, the "bro" I sent was identical 466 00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:41,193 to the previous "bros" I sent, 467 00:21:41,217 --> 00:21:43,695 but I think he'll infer the anger from context. 468 00:21:43,719 --> 00:21:45,399 This is Ron on the phone. I gotta take it. 469 00:21:45,471 --> 00:21:46,764 Yeah, okay. 470 00:21:47,723 --> 00:21:49,034 - Richard: Hello, Ron. - Hey, Richie. 471 00:21:49,058 --> 00:21:50,893 I gotta bounce on over to my mind-body thing, 472 00:21:50,976 --> 00:21:52,978 but I just wanted to give you the good news. 473 00:21:53,062 --> 00:21:56,440 I got you a top-shelf litigator. 474 00:21:56,732 --> 00:21:59,151 Yeah, uh, we should probably discuss that. 475 00:21:59,235 --> 00:22:01,862 You're gonna sweat me about the cost, right? Don't. 476 00:22:01,946 --> 00:22:05,241 I hammered them on their fee. They're going to bring it way down. 477 00:22:05,324 --> 00:22:07,326 Okay, so how much? 478 00:22:07,535 --> 00:22:13,457 This whole thing is going to cost you two, 2.5 million tops. 479 00:22:13,541 --> 00:22:16,544 - What? - I know, right. It's like it's free. 480 00:22:16,627 --> 00:22:18,838 I told you, I pay for myself. 481 00:22:18,921 --> 00:22:21,674 So I'm going to need you to head on down to their offices tomorrow 482 00:22:21,757 --> 00:22:25,177 at 10:00 am. You slap an 80k retainer on them, 483 00:22:25,261 --> 00:22:27,179 and we are good to go. 484 00:22:27,388 --> 00:22:29,014 Oh, shit. 485 00:22:30,432 --> 00:22:32,518 Okay, I actually have another call, so... 486 00:22:32,601 --> 00:22:33,936 I'll get out of your pubes. 487 00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:37,022 I'm emailing you intros to the guys you're meeting tomorrow. 488 00:22:37,106 --> 00:22:38,274 Later. 489 00:22:40,693 --> 00:22:41,777 Hello? 490 00:22:43,028 --> 00:22:45,281 Oh. Uh, hello. 491 00:22:45,781 --> 00:22:46,824 Yes. 492 00:22:47,992 --> 00:22:48,993 Uh-huh. 493 00:22:51,161 --> 00:22:53,455 Sure, just me? 494 00:22:54,957 --> 00:22:56,458 Okay, what time? 495 00:23:02,965 --> 00:23:04,133 Hello. 496 00:23:04,508 --> 00:23:06,677 Richard. Thanks for coming. 497 00:23:11,807 --> 00:23:12,887 What are we doing, Richard? 498 00:23:13,142 --> 00:23:14,602 Lawsuits and lawyers? 499 00:23:14,768 --> 00:23:18,606 You out there getting rejected by every vc in town? 500 00:23:18,689 --> 00:23:20,065 Neither of us want this, 501 00:23:20,149 --> 00:23:22,943 but maybe together we can find a way out. 502 00:23:23,485 --> 00:23:25,404 Yeah, easy. Drop the lawsuit. 503 00:23:25,654 --> 00:23:28,490 - You know I can't do that. - I didn't steal pied Piper from you, 504 00:23:28,574 --> 00:23:29,575 and you know it. 505 00:23:29,825 --> 00:23:32,077 Well, that's up to the courts to decide. 506 00:23:32,161 --> 00:23:33,621 And until they do, you're frozen. 507 00:23:33,829 --> 00:23:36,457 Meanwhile, my best engineers are working around the clock 508 00:23:36,540 --> 00:23:38,792 to get me a middle-out algorithm that surpasses yours. 509 00:23:38,876 --> 00:23:41,587 And in January when we have it and we come to market, 510 00:23:41,670 --> 00:23:43,505 you won'tjust be frozen, you'll be dead. 511 00:23:43,839 --> 00:23:45,966 You played your best hand, Richard, and you lost. 512 00:23:46,175 --> 00:23:48,510 It's just business. So... 513 00:23:48,677 --> 00:23:52,640 Wouldn't you rather get something out of pied Piper while you still can? 514 00:23:53,223 --> 00:23:56,560 - Let me acquire you. - What? No way. Are you kidding me? 515 00:23:56,644 --> 00:23:58,163 We should have just done this the first time. 516 00:23:58,187 --> 00:24:00,773 I know you thought about it. It's the perfect fit. 517 00:24:00,856 --> 00:24:03,150 You get my infrastructure, I get your speed, 518 00:24:03,233 --> 00:24:06,111 and I get it today rather than in a month or two. 519 00:24:06,195 --> 00:24:07,363 What's the downside? 520 00:24:07,446 --> 00:24:09,206 The downside is that everything I'm building 521 00:24:09,239 --> 00:24:11,867 becomes the property of your giant soulless corporation. 522 00:24:12,534 --> 00:24:14,536 And what exactly do you think you're building? 523 00:24:14,620 --> 00:24:17,623 You're out there trying to get funding so you can hire people, 524 00:24:17,706 --> 00:24:19,959 scale up, roll out a product, ipo, 525 00:24:20,042 --> 00:24:23,170 and eventually become a publicly-traded what? 526 00:24:23,921 --> 00:24:25,214 Corporation. 527 00:24:25,339 --> 00:24:26,423 We would be different. 528 00:24:26,507 --> 00:24:29,677 I see. I suppose once pied Piper is a billion-dollar company, 529 00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:32,888 you'll seek out your competitors and help them. 530 00:24:33,389 --> 00:24:34,932 Please. Let's face it. 531 00:24:35,015 --> 00:24:39,103 What is hooli if not the best possible future version of pied Piper? 532 00:24:39,186 --> 00:24:41,146 You think you're building something different? No. 533 00:24:41,188 --> 00:24:44,209 You're building something that's exactly the same as what I've already built, 534 00:24:44,233 --> 00:24:47,653 except with you instead of me. But that's not possible now, Richard. 535 00:24:48,070 --> 00:24:51,740 But you know what is? We could build something together, you and me. 536 00:24:51,824 --> 00:24:54,994 Something great. Something the world needs now. 537 00:24:55,452 --> 00:24:56,912 Look, I don't have to do this. 538 00:24:56,996 --> 00:25:00,165 I'm just trying to do the right thing here. 539 00:25:05,421 --> 00:25:08,257 So, what do you say? 540 00:25:10,884 --> 00:25:12,511 You want to know what I say? 541 00:25:15,180 --> 00:25:16,974 Okay, here's what I say.