1 00:00:00,231 --> 00:00:04,290 I sent you 63 good people. You have to choose. 2 00:00:04,290 --> 00:00:06,080 They have to meet our rigorous standards. 3 00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:08,120 I mean, look at the three we've already hired. 4 00:00:08,790 --> 00:00:10,250 Stallions. 5 00:00:11,460 --> 00:00:14,250 Hooli is the future, and your future is... 6 00:00:14,670 --> 00:00:17,460 The Box 2. Are there any questions? 7 00:00:17,460 --> 00:00:19,750 Everything you're doing here is antiquated. 8 00:00:20,290 --> 00:00:22,120 Fuck you guys. Get out of here. 9 00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:25,960 You wish to acquire a company called Sliceline? 10 00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:29,500 I will be taking on a total engineering team of about 50. 11 00:00:29,790 --> 00:00:31,460 Um... Wha... 12 00:00:35,420 --> 00:00:37,710 - Don't tell anyone, okay? - Um... 13 00:00:47,670 --> 00:00:49,330 My Tesla finally came. 14 00:00:50,500 --> 00:00:52,420 Was that a wise purchase? 15 00:00:52,420 --> 00:00:53,750 Considering Richard just 16 00:00:53,750 --> 00:00:57,290 obliterated Pied Piper's runway hiring all those coders? 17 00:00:57,290 --> 00:00:59,540 I ordered it a month ago. 18 00:00:59,540 --> 00:01:02,250 But still, it's an investment. 19 00:01:02,250 --> 00:01:03,540 As I understand, 20 00:01:03,540 --> 00:01:05,210 cars depreciate 10 percent 21 00:01:05,210 --> 00:01:06,670 as soon as they fall off the truck. 22 00:01:07,750 --> 00:01:09,040 Like that. 23 00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:12,710 So if the car costs $100, 24 00:01:12,710 --> 00:01:14,710 well you just lost $10. 25 00:01:14,710 --> 00:01:16,540 Did it cost $100? 26 00:01:17,670 --> 00:01:19,040 Or more? 27 00:01:19,040 --> 00:01:20,670 It's not about the money. 28 00:01:20,670 --> 00:01:23,620 I, my friend, am now part 29 00:01:23,620 --> 00:01:25,210 of the green revolution. 30 00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:26,540 Are you? 31 00:01:26,540 --> 00:01:27,960 Most electricity still comes from 32 00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:30,080 gas plants and coal-burning smoke stacks. 33 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:32,710 Do you know where your electricity comes from? 34 00:01:32,710 --> 00:01:34,580 No. Mm-hmm. 35 00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:38,250 Look how shiny it is. 36 00:01:38,250 --> 00:01:40,040 Plus, it has a frunk... 37 00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:41,420 a front trunk. 38 00:01:41,420 --> 00:01:43,750 Here, hop in, let me give you a ride to work. 39 00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:51,670 Dinesh, 40 00:01:51,670 --> 00:01:52,710 you like this? 41 00:01:52,710 --> 00:01:56,120 Jesus fucking Christ! 42 00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:58,710 Is that a dead pig? Yes. 43 00:01:58,710 --> 00:02:01,040 It's just like Errich. 44 00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:02,460 My corrupt uncle 45 00:02:02,460 --> 00:02:04,250 sent a death certificate 46 00:02:04,250 --> 00:02:05,210 from China 47 00:02:05,210 --> 00:02:08,420 but to send body is too expensive. 48 00:02:08,420 --> 00:02:10,120 So... 49 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:12,120 I cremate a pig 50 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:15,290 because a pig is most like a fat human. 51 00:02:16,710 --> 00:02:17,870 I gotta get to work. 52 00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:20,040 Dinesh... 53 00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:22,750 can you take pig to backyard? 54 00:02:22,750 --> 00:02:24,420 I need to burn it. 55 00:02:24,420 --> 00:02:25,580 No. 56 00:02:33,580 --> 00:02:34,670 That's odd. 57 00:02:34,670 --> 00:02:35,960 You left before me. 58 00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:38,080 How was I able to park before you? 59 00:02:38,080 --> 00:02:39,790 I guess all 50 of the new employees 60 00:02:39,790 --> 00:02:41,250 decided to show up bright and early 61 00:02:41,250 --> 00:02:43,460 for the fucking all-hands meeting. 62 00:02:43,460 --> 00:02:45,290 I had to park on level five. 63 00:02:45,290 --> 00:02:47,330 Huh! So unlike you, 64 00:02:47,330 --> 00:02:48,620 the world understands 65 00:02:48,620 --> 00:02:50,370 that I'm saving the planet 66 00:02:50,370 --> 00:02:52,040 and has rewarded me with... 67 00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:54,000 primo spot. 68 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:55,370 Congratulations. 69 00:02:55,370 --> 00:02:57,210 You've finally taken your rightful spot 70 00:02:57,210 --> 00:02:58,790 amongst the handicapped. 71 00:03:12,870 --> 00:03:14,000 Is it broken? 72 00:03:14,920 --> 00:03:17,000 Uh, no. I think I'm okay. 73 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:19,580 One question, what the fuck happened? 74 00:03:19,580 --> 00:03:22,170 'Cause... you were doing your speech 75 00:03:22,170 --> 00:03:24,170 right there in front of the whole company, 76 00:03:24,170 --> 00:03:25,170 and then... 77 00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:27,330 Wow. 78 00:03:27,330 --> 00:03:28,830 Well... 79 00:03:28,830 --> 00:03:31,330 uh, my speech was going poorly. 80 00:03:31,330 --> 00:03:32,500 Agreed. Yeah. 81 00:03:32,500 --> 00:03:34,170 And I started to panic. 82 00:03:34,170 --> 00:03:35,210 With good reason. 83 00:03:35,210 --> 00:03:37,000 And then... 84 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,790 all of a sudden, I... 85 00:03:38,790 --> 00:03:40,330 I thought I had to shit my pants, okay? 86 00:03:40,330 --> 00:03:41,830 And that's why you jumped 87 00:03:41,830 --> 00:03:44,540 face first into a glass wall? 88 00:03:44,540 --> 00:03:46,170 No, it all happened so fast, 89 00:03:46,170 --> 00:03:48,870 but... essentially, I thought, 90 00:03:48,870 --> 00:03:51,420 if it was gonna happen, I didn't want to be standing. 91 00:03:51,420 --> 00:03:53,540 So, I crouched, because... 92 00:03:53,540 --> 00:03:54,580 If you wanna shit yourself, 93 00:03:54,580 --> 00:03:56,460 you'd rather be crouching than standing? 94 00:03:56,460 --> 00:03:58,710 Yes. I mean, if you had to. 95 00:03:58,710 --> 00:04:02,040 I hate to say this, but I follow you. 96 00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:05,040 The thing is, when I crouched, I had to burp. 97 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:07,830 But since I was all, you know, tucked up, 98 00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:09,210 I actually vomited a little. 99 00:04:09,210 --> 00:04:12,710 And then, that's when my fight-or-flight reflex kicked in. 100 00:04:12,710 --> 00:04:14,830 Do you ever fight? 101 00:04:14,830 --> 00:04:18,920 Okay, fine, then my "or flight" reflex kicked in and I just... 102 00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:21,500 Pow. Yeah. 103 00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:25,170 Okay. Well, what we saw was a very oily man 104 00:04:25,170 --> 00:04:27,170 in mid-sentence dip down, 105 00:04:27,170 --> 00:04:30,710 vomit, and then thrust himself violently 106 00:04:30,710 --> 00:04:33,830 face first into a glass wall. 107 00:04:33,830 --> 00:04:35,460 But I guess it's a lot less embarrassing 108 00:04:35,460 --> 00:04:36,580 the way you explain it. 109 00:04:36,580 --> 00:04:38,750 Richard, what about... 110 00:04:38,750 --> 00:04:40,790 Did you evacuate in your pants? 111 00:04:40,790 --> 00:04:42,250 Oh, no, uh, good news. 112 00:04:42,250 --> 00:04:44,420 I think what happened when I hit the glass, 113 00:04:44,420 --> 00:04:45,830 I sort of shocked myself. 114 00:04:45,830 --> 00:04:47,040 Now, I don't have to. 115 00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:48,500 That's actually kind of disappointing, 116 00:04:48,500 --> 00:04:51,250 because, like, no closure. 117 00:04:51,250 --> 00:04:53,420 Well, on the bright side, it'll be that much easier 118 00:04:53,420 --> 00:04:55,080 to get you cleaned up and back out there. 119 00:04:55,080 --> 00:04:58,420 What? I have you scheduled for three more days of orientation. 120 00:04:58,420 --> 00:05:00,080 No way. Cancel them. 121 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:01,540 There's no way I'm going back out there. 122 00:05:01,540 --> 00:05:03,750 Especially after knowing what they saw. 123 00:05:03,750 --> 00:05:06,500 No, fuck it. Plus, I'm... I'm way too busy, so. 124 00:05:06,500 --> 00:05:09,040 Gentlemen, could we have the room please? 125 00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:10,620 So we can leave? Sweet. 126 00:05:12,170 --> 00:05:14,210 Richard, look out there. 127 00:05:14,210 --> 00:05:17,620 There's Optimoji and Sliceline t-shirts left and right. 128 00:05:17,620 --> 00:05:20,920 These are conquered soldiers still in their old uniforms. 129 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:23,460 But we need everyone here to be Pied Pipers. 130 00:05:23,460 --> 00:05:25,460 I mean, you're asking them 131 00:05:25,460 --> 00:05:28,000 to spend the primes of their lives on your vision. 132 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:30,330 Right? And you need to go out there and lead them. 133 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,460 They're... they're yearning for inspiration. 134 00:05:32,460 --> 00:05:34,370 I can't do inspiration. 135 00:05:34,370 --> 00:05:35,920 I'm a coder. 136 00:05:35,920 --> 00:05:37,500 Look there, the new Internet. 137 00:05:37,500 --> 00:05:39,000 That's inspiration. Use that. 138 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,960 Richard, this is all an idea. 139 00:05:40,960 --> 00:05:42,370 And people don't wanna follow an idea, 140 00:05:42,370 --> 00:05:43,960 they wanna follow a leader. 141 00:05:43,960 --> 00:05:46,250 Look at the last guy to create a new Internet. 142 00:05:46,250 --> 00:05:47,250 Al Gore. 143 00:05:47,250 --> 00:05:48,790 His ideas were excellent, 144 00:05:48,790 --> 00:05:51,620 but he talked like a narcoleptic plantation owner, 145 00:05:51,620 --> 00:05:53,830 so he lost the presidency to a fake cowboy 146 00:05:53,830 --> 00:05:55,420 and now he makes apocalypse porn. 147 00:05:55,420 --> 00:05:57,750 Look, the point is, you need to lead with passion. 148 00:05:57,750 --> 00:05:59,210 When you set your mind to it, 149 00:05:59,210 --> 00:06:01,670 you're one of the most charismatic people I've ever met. 150 00:06:01,670 --> 00:06:03,250 And I have met Ira Glass. 151 00:06:03,250 --> 00:06:05,210 I know it's three days we could be working, 152 00:06:05,210 --> 00:06:09,080 but ultimately, a unified team will save us time in the end. 153 00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:10,620 You wanna save time? 154 00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:12,870 If you wanna save time, here's what you do. 155 00:06:12,870 --> 00:06:15,120 You said it yourself, okay, the Optimoji guys 156 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:17,120 and the Sliceline guys are separate, 157 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:18,620 with their own separate histories, 158 00:06:18,620 --> 00:06:20,370 their own separate shorthands, 159 00:06:20,370 --> 00:06:21,580 so let's use that. 160 00:06:21,580 --> 00:06:23,830 Let's give the scheduler to the Optimoji guys, 161 00:06:23,830 --> 00:06:26,250 and the server-less runtime to the Sliceline guys. 162 00:06:26,250 --> 00:06:29,500 Then we have Dinesh and Gilfoyle and the Stallions, they do the integration. 163 00:06:29,500 --> 00:06:31,250 Boom, we're off and running. How about that? 164 00:06:31,250 --> 00:06:34,670 That way, no one has to shit or burp or puke 165 00:06:34,670 --> 00:06:37,250 or get a nosebleed in front of anyone. 166 00:06:37,250 --> 00:06:39,960 Sco As for the bezel design, our young aesthete, Dang, 167 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:41,580 has once again spun gold. 168 00:06:41,580 --> 00:06:42,710 Let's see it. 169 00:06:46,750 --> 00:06:49,040 Wait, my signature's not on it? 170 00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:53,040 How could it be the Gavin Belson Signature Box III 171 00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:54,580 without Gavin Belson's signature on it? 172 00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:57,750 Well, the word "signature" has a handwritten feel to it. 173 00:06:57,750 --> 00:07:00,670 Why is my signature not on this? 174 00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:03,870 Gavin, there was a slight issue with your signature. 175 00:07:03,870 --> 00:07:05,500 What issue? 176 00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:07,040 Do you have a mock-up? Pull it up. 177 00:07:08,750 --> 00:07:10,920 Ah, yes! There. 178 00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:13,370 What's wrong with that? 179 00:07:13,370 --> 00:07:17,210 Well, reactions to this from our testing groups were mixed, 180 00:07:17,210 --> 00:07:20,920 so we contacted a handwriting expert. 181 00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:22,750 And, uh, well... 182 00:07:22,750 --> 00:07:24,460 Jean, do you have the report? 183 00:07:24,460 --> 00:07:25,620 Absolutely. 184 00:07:25,620 --> 00:07:28,040 Pleasure to be on your team, Gavin. Here it is. 185 00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:30,250 "The signature displayed troubling traits. 186 00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:31,710 "Left of upright slant, 187 00:07:31,710 --> 00:07:34,250 "narrow angles, tense strokes, 188 00:07:34,250 --> 00:07:37,420 conclusively indicative of sociopathic tendencies." 189 00:07:37,420 --> 00:07:38,960 What? "Characterized by 190 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:40,620 "a lack of empathy and need to dominate, 191 00:07:40,620 --> 00:07:43,750 "a willingness to hurt others to achieve one's goals. 192 00:07:43,750 --> 00:07:45,460 Inability to accept bad news..." 193 00:07:45,460 --> 00:07:46,710 - Hoover? - Sir? 194 00:07:46,710 --> 00:07:49,920 Get this horrible women the fuck out of my office, now. 195 00:07:57,750 --> 00:07:59,080 What the fuck is that? 196 00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:00,460 It's the cheapest thing I could find 197 00:08:00,460 --> 00:08:02,330 that qualified as an electric vehicle. 198 00:08:02,330 --> 00:08:03,960 I found it on Craigslist. 199 00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:06,460 Now you get to park on the fifth floor. 200 00:08:06,460 --> 00:08:07,580 Enjoy the drive. 201 00:08:07,580 --> 00:08:09,330 Oh, and you were right... 202 00:08:09,330 --> 00:08:12,540 it does feel good to be a part of the green revolution. 203 00:08:12,540 --> 00:08:16,170 Oh, yeah? Well, does that "vehicle" have "Insane Mode"? 204 00:08:16,170 --> 00:08:17,580 One press of a button 205 00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:21,120 and I go zero to 60 in 3.2... 206 00:08:22,830 --> 00:08:24,500 What a day. 207 00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:27,040 See, we'd still be finishing up orientation, 208 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,830 singing Kumbayas and doing trust falls. 209 00:08:29,830 --> 00:08:31,000 But instead, 210 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:34,330 both our Optimoji and Sliceline teams 211 00:08:34,330 --> 00:08:38,750 have gone through their first code review. 212 00:08:38,750 --> 00:08:41,620 Well, to be fair, I never would've scheduled trust falls. 213 00:08:41,620 --> 00:08:44,040 I mean, you do one of those, you're so jacked up on adrenaline, 214 00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:45,620 the rest of the day is basically shot. 215 00:08:45,620 --> 00:08:49,080 We were gonna have a noncompetitive talent show with no losers. 216 00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:50,080 Not possible. 217 00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:52,290 Dick, I just got in and checked the commits. 218 00:08:52,290 --> 00:08:54,830 Are you aware that the Sliceline guys 219 00:08:54,830 --> 00:08:56,830 have been encoding time in nanoseconds, 220 00:08:56,830 --> 00:08:58,040 as we usually do, 221 00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:01,620 but the Optimoji guys have been using milliseconds? 222 00:09:01,620 --> 00:09:03,330 What? 223 00:09:03,330 --> 00:09:05,210 Just the fact that we're still calling them 224 00:09:05,210 --> 00:09:07,290 Sliceline guys and Optimoji guys 225 00:09:07,290 --> 00:09:08,960 is sending up all sorts of red flags. 226 00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:10,620 And I don't even mean the word "guys," 227 00:09:10,620 --> 00:09:12,250 which I just learned is a micro-aggression. 228 00:09:12,250 --> 00:09:14,830 It's fine, "guys." 229 00:09:14,830 --> 00:09:16,670 I will get them to re-factor their code. 230 00:09:16,670 --> 00:09:19,170 We're still ahead of where we'd be 231 00:09:19,170 --> 00:09:21,000 if we were doing some kind of talent show. 232 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:24,170 Richard? Gilfoyle parked his electric pile of trash 233 00:09:24,170 --> 00:09:25,750 in my Tesla's spot. 234 00:09:25,750 --> 00:09:26,960 Do you think that's fair? 235 00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:28,460 Not now, Dinesh. 236 00:09:28,460 --> 00:09:30,290 Why can't you guys switch to milliseconds? 237 00:09:30,290 --> 00:09:31,540 Why do we have to change? 238 00:09:31,540 --> 00:09:34,870 Sorry, well, our entire code base uses nanoseconds. 239 00:09:34,870 --> 00:09:37,960 And you didn't think it was important to tell us this? 240 00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:39,500 No, well, I mean, it was... 241 00:09:39,500 --> 00:09:42,960 it was part of the orientation that was scheduled, 242 00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:44,250 which had to be, 243 00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:46,210 for numerous reasons, uh, canceled. 244 00:09:46,210 --> 00:09:49,040 And I'm sorry about that, I know it sucks. 245 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:51,420 If I could make it suck less, I would, but... 246 00:09:51,420 --> 00:09:53,540 You could get some decent coffee in here. 247 00:09:53,540 --> 00:09:55,330 What? What's wrong with... 248 00:09:55,330 --> 00:09:57,620 Philz Coffee? That's high-end joe, bro. 249 00:09:57,620 --> 00:10:00,370 At Optimoji, we had Stumptown brought in every day. 250 00:10:01,540 --> 00:10:04,040 So that would inspire you? Different coffee? 251 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:04,960 Inspire us? 252 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:06,290 You know what? Bup, bup, bup! 253 00:10:06,290 --> 00:10:07,670 Stumptown it is. You got it. 254 00:10:07,670 --> 00:10:10,290 And you'll tell your guys about the nanoseconds? 255 00:10:10,290 --> 00:10:11,870 Yeah. Unless you wanna 256 00:10:11,870 --> 00:10:13,750 get up in front of everyone and announce it yourself. 257 00:10:13,750 --> 00:10:15,120 No, no, no, I'd rather you... 258 00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:16,330 That was a joke. 259 00:10:16,330 --> 00:10:17,620 Your speech was a disaster. 260 00:10:17,620 --> 00:10:19,790 Oh. Yeah. 261 00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:24,080 You know. Yeah. 262 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:25,250 It was really bad. 263 00:10:25,250 --> 00:10:27,250 I know. 264 00:10:27,250 --> 00:10:30,460 Okay, Mr. Jian, you have petitioned this court 265 00:10:30,460 --> 00:10:31,920 to become the sole executor 266 00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:34,870 of the estate of Erlich Bachman, is that correct? 267 00:10:34,870 --> 00:10:36,080 Yes. 268 00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:37,920 I see you've got all the paperwork, here. 269 00:10:37,920 --> 00:10:41,790 Yes. Errich Bachman is dead. 270 00:10:43,250 --> 00:10:44,750 Oh! Um... 271 00:10:44,750 --> 00:10:46,670 Mr. Jian, there's absolutely no need 272 00:10:46,670 --> 00:10:49,040 to display the deceased remains. 273 00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:50,750 You can put that away. 274 00:10:52,170 --> 00:10:53,460 I have it. Yes. 275 00:10:53,460 --> 00:10:54,750 Please put it down. 276 00:10:57,830 --> 00:11:01,620 Errich Bachman is cremated... 277 00:11:01,620 --> 00:11:02,960 into ashes. 278 00:11:04,370 --> 00:11:05,960 And I put it in bucket. 279 00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:08,620 Put it down, sir. 280 00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:13,920 Now, have you determined 281 00:11:13,920 --> 00:11:15,540 to a reasonable degree of certainty 282 00:11:15,540 --> 00:11:18,120 that Mr. Bachman has no living next of kin? 283 00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:20,580 No wife, children, parents, 284 00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:21,790 no brothers, sisters, 285 00:11:21,790 --> 00:11:23,290 nieces, nephews, grandparents, 286 00:11:23,290 --> 00:11:24,960 children from a predeceased spouse 287 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:25,960 or domestic partnership? 288 00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:28,210 No. 289 00:11:28,210 --> 00:11:29,460 He died alone. 290 00:11:30,500 --> 00:11:32,290 He's a very sad man. 291 00:11:32,290 --> 00:11:34,250 So, I have a... 292 00:11:34,250 --> 00:11:36,670 a house and a 10% Pied Piper. 293 00:11:36,670 --> 00:11:39,500 In the absence of any next of kin, 294 00:11:39,500 --> 00:11:42,330 I will approve you as the sole beneficiary 295 00:11:42,330 --> 00:11:45,170 and the official executor of Mr. Bachman's estate. 296 00:11:45,170 --> 00:11:48,210 But, before you can distribute any of his assets 297 00:11:48,210 --> 00:11:49,710 into your personal possession, 298 00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:53,330 you are required to settle all claims against the estate. 299 00:11:53,330 --> 00:11:54,500 Do you understand? 300 00:11:55,830 --> 00:11:58,500 So I get a house and a 10% Pied Piper? 301 00:11:58,500 --> 00:12:01,540 You need to pay all of his outstanding bills. 302 00:12:01,540 --> 00:12:04,120 How much do I have to pay? 303 00:12:04,120 --> 00:12:07,960 Well, these debts can sometimes be substantial. 304 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:09,710 Would you characterize Mr. Bachman 305 00:12:09,710 --> 00:12:11,830 as a financially responsible man? 306 00:12:16,790 --> 00:12:20,420 Hey, Sliceline guys, what's up? Heh. 307 00:12:20,420 --> 00:12:21,960 So... 308 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:24,750 wanted to talk to you guys about something. 309 00:12:24,750 --> 00:12:25,870 Past couple days, 310 00:12:25,870 --> 00:12:29,000 the Optimoji guys have really stepped up their game, 311 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:31,580 but, um, you guys... 312 00:12:31,580 --> 00:12:34,710 have kind of been flagging. 313 00:12:34,710 --> 00:12:37,040 I'm just wondering if everything's all right. 314 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:39,120 Yeah. Great. 315 00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:40,960 Just nice to know where we stand. 316 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,460 Sorry? We get it. 317 00:12:43,460 --> 00:12:45,960 You only acquired Sliceline because you wanted Optimoji. 318 00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:47,920 What? 319 00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:49,210 No, wrong. 320 00:12:49,210 --> 00:12:51,210 Uh, why would you say that? 321 00:12:51,210 --> 00:12:52,750 I didn't. You did, 322 00:12:52,750 --> 00:12:54,540 when you chose their coffee over ours. 323 00:12:54,540 --> 00:12:56,420 It's bad enough we can't have Slice here. 324 00:12:56,420 --> 00:12:58,420 Slice? 325 00:12:58,420 --> 00:12:59,420 The beverage? 326 00:12:59,420 --> 00:13:01,420 No, no. Slice was our mascot. 327 00:13:02,580 --> 00:13:03,750 He's really smart. 328 00:13:03,750 --> 00:13:05,120 Okay, well... 329 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:06,460 Bring the little guy in. 330 00:13:06,460 --> 00:13:08,120 What about the no dog policy? 331 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:11,040 What no dog policy, huh? 332 00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:14,040 Really? Are you sure you don't need to check with Optimoji? 333 00:13:14,040 --> 00:13:16,040 I'm pretty sure, but, uh... 334 00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:19,120 Danny? Dan man? 335 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:21,210 Uh, I just was wondering 336 00:13:21,210 --> 00:13:23,330 if you're cool if the Sliceline guys 337 00:13:23,330 --> 00:13:25,420 brought in their dog. He's really smart. 338 00:13:25,420 --> 00:13:28,370 Well at Optimoji, we had a no dog policy. 339 00:13:28,370 --> 00:13:31,040 Come on. Don't be such a dork. 340 00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:32,580 Let 'em have it. It's just a dog. 341 00:13:33,750 --> 00:13:35,370 Sure. Fine. 342 00:13:35,370 --> 00:13:36,420 You're the CEO. 343 00:13:36,420 --> 00:13:38,170 Yes, I am. 344 00:13:38,170 --> 00:13:39,210 All right. 345 00:13:39,210 --> 00:13:41,170 And from this point on, 346 00:13:41,170 --> 00:13:44,830 CEO stands for Canine Endorsement... 347 00:13:46,290 --> 00:13:48,330 Oh... yeah. 348 00:13:49,620 --> 00:13:50,830 All right. 349 00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:58,040 Hey, look at you and your 10-speed. 350 00:13:58,040 --> 00:14:00,920 Aw, you got up early 'cause you thought you could take my space. 351 00:14:00,920 --> 00:14:02,250 That's cute. 352 00:14:02,250 --> 00:14:04,120 Almost as cute as your bike. 353 00:14:06,460 --> 00:14:08,330 Yeah, I guess this is a bike, isn't it? 354 00:14:09,620 --> 00:14:11,960 So I get to use the bike lane. 355 00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:14,290 See you later. 356 00:14:14,290 --> 00:14:17,120 No, bikes still have to follow traffic laws! 357 00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:18,290 That's not fair! 358 00:14:19,870 --> 00:14:21,370 All right. You wanna get insane? 359 00:14:23,830 --> 00:14:25,120 Let's get insane. 360 00:14:26,620 --> 00:14:28,000 Whoa! 361 00:14:30,330 --> 00:14:31,790 Fuck you, Gilfoyle! 362 00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:45,170 Something's wrong with your frunk. 363 00:14:45,170 --> 00:14:46,580 It's all frucked up. 364 00:14:46,580 --> 00:14:47,960 Hey, Tesla! 365 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:49,710 You know where Pied Piper is? 366 00:14:54,670 --> 00:14:55,710 Right here, guys. 367 00:14:58,830 --> 00:15:00,000 What the fuck? 368 00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:03,000 Dick? 369 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,000 Hey, uh... 370 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,580 Explain. Okay, uh... 371 00:15:06,580 --> 00:15:10,040 So, Optimoji had a no dog policy 372 00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:12,000 and apparently that's because every single one of 'em 373 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,540 have a fucking dog. 374 00:15:13,540 --> 00:15:15,080 And when we waived our no dog policy... 375 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,790 You waived our no dog policy? 376 00:15:16,790 --> 00:15:19,290 I had Jared put that in there for a reason, Richard! 377 00:15:19,290 --> 00:15:22,210 In Pakistan, dogs are not pets, okay? 378 00:15:22,210 --> 00:15:23,540 They're vicious beasts 379 00:15:23,540 --> 00:15:25,040 and they chase you down the street 380 00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:26,170 and they bite you. 381 00:15:26,170 --> 00:15:28,250 My cousin Eftahar lost an ear. 382 00:15:28,250 --> 00:15:30,210 Our mayor was very corrupt. 383 00:15:30,210 --> 00:15:32,330 But he put poison pills in chicken meat 384 00:15:32,330 --> 00:15:34,040 to take care of the dog problem. 385 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:35,210 We hailed him as a hero. 386 00:15:35,210 --> 00:15:36,870 We put up statues of him everywhere. 387 00:15:36,870 --> 00:15:38,540 He's gonna be okay. 388 00:15:38,540 --> 00:15:40,290 Who's gonna be okay? 389 00:15:40,290 --> 00:15:42,170 What? Stallion down? 390 00:15:42,170 --> 00:15:43,830 He's violently allergic to dogs. 391 00:15:43,830 --> 00:15:46,790 It's another reason for our iron-clad no dog policy. 392 00:15:46,790 --> 00:15:49,330 Jared, when were you planning on telling me all of this? 393 00:15:49,330 --> 00:15:51,080 Day two of orientation. 394 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:52,750 Right after safe space charades. 395 00:15:52,750 --> 00:15:56,330 So look, we'll pay for your entire medical bill, obviously. 396 00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:57,540 So, you're good. 397 00:15:57,540 --> 00:15:59,460 You're covering his deductible? 398 00:15:59,460 --> 00:16:01,210 Then you have to cover ours, right? 399 00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:03,000 And what about the dogs? They're people, too. 400 00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:04,710 They're literally not. 401 00:16:04,710 --> 00:16:06,080 They're dogs! 402 00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:07,920 Hold strong. 403 00:16:11,870 --> 00:16:13,080 Fuck you! 404 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:18,500 Oh. So... 405 00:16:18,500 --> 00:16:22,670 Jared, uh, you wanted me to unite the teams and I have. 406 00:16:22,670 --> 00:16:24,620 They are united against me. 407 00:16:24,620 --> 00:16:28,080 Even the dogs, apparently. 408 00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:29,830 I wish they had your fecal fortitude. 409 00:16:30,830 --> 00:16:32,540 Hey, do me a favor and... 410 00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:36,920 just take care of all the dogs. 411 00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:38,670 And then call an all-hands. 412 00:16:38,670 --> 00:16:42,790 I've clearly gotta say words. 413 00:16:45,460 --> 00:16:47,080 Ooh, okay. 414 00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:50,960 Really didn't wanna be back up here, again. 415 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:52,580 And I think we all remember why, you know? 416 00:16:52,580 --> 00:16:55,210 But you probably don't know this, but I almost sh... 417 00:16:55,210 --> 00:16:56,290 They don't need to... 418 00:16:56,290 --> 00:16:57,750 Farted. Yeah. 419 00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:00,920 Which would be embarrassing. 420 00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:02,870 Anyway, look, uh... 421 00:17:02,870 --> 00:17:04,580 I know I... 422 00:17:04,580 --> 00:17:08,000 should be the inspiration for you guys, 423 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:11,170 but to be honest, that's not really who I am. 424 00:17:12,120 --> 00:17:14,210 And if this company lives or dies 425 00:17:14,210 --> 00:17:16,290 by all the flowery things I say, 426 00:17:16,290 --> 00:17:18,170 well then, to be honest, we're fucked. Ha. 427 00:17:19,210 --> 00:17:21,540 They say that... 428 00:17:21,540 --> 00:17:23,790 people don't follow ideas. 429 00:17:23,790 --> 00:17:26,870 But I think in this case, you guys should. 430 00:17:26,870 --> 00:17:28,620 Because... 431 00:17:28,620 --> 00:17:31,040 the idea of creating a new Internet, 432 00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:33,330 that's special. 433 00:17:33,330 --> 00:17:35,580 Right? And we've been given the opportunity 434 00:17:35,580 --> 00:17:37,750 to rewrite... 435 00:17:37,750 --> 00:17:42,290 the most important thing in human history. 436 00:17:42,290 --> 00:17:44,080 And we can build it 437 00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:46,580 the way it should've been made all along. 438 00:17:46,580 --> 00:17:50,870 You know, not this shitty, addictive parasite 439 00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:53,920 that companies like Hooli use to spy on us 440 00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:55,870 and exploit us. 441 00:17:55,870 --> 00:17:56,870 Okay? 442 00:17:57,790 --> 00:17:59,710 There. That's your inspiration. 443 00:17:59,710 --> 00:18:00,870 Not me. 444 00:18:00,870 --> 00:18:03,580 Not coffee. Not dogs. So... 445 00:18:05,370 --> 00:18:07,670 if I'm not inspirational enough for you, 446 00:18:07,670 --> 00:18:09,120 and if you don't wanna be here, 447 00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:11,120 well, then, there's the door. 448 00:18:11,120 --> 00:18:12,710 And we'll give you enough severance 449 00:18:12,710 --> 00:18:14,330 to cover you to your next job. 450 00:18:14,330 --> 00:18:17,500 But if you wanna stick around and build this thing, 451 00:18:17,500 --> 00:18:19,920 then we've got work to do. 452 00:18:26,540 --> 00:18:27,580 Great job. 453 00:18:27,580 --> 00:18:28,920 So what's going on? I hear footsteps. 454 00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:31,170 Are... are people sitting back down, or...? 455 00:18:31,170 --> 00:18:33,040 Okay, they're picking up their bags. 456 00:18:34,670 --> 00:18:35,960 That could be good. 457 00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:38,040 Okay. So, what, they're leaving, or...? 458 00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:39,460 A few are. 459 00:18:40,750 --> 00:18:42,170 Okay, what's a few? 460 00:18:42,170 --> 00:18:44,420 It's more than a few. 461 00:18:44,420 --> 00:18:47,040 What's that mean? Like, what's more than a few, five? 462 00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:48,250 Double digits? 463 00:18:48,250 --> 00:18:50,830 It might be easier to say how many are staying. 464 00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:52,710 It's, uh... 465 00:18:52,710 --> 00:18:54,040 It's two. 466 00:18:54,040 --> 00:18:55,250 What? 467 00:18:57,750 --> 00:18:58,790 Okay. 468 00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:04,080 So, uh, 469 00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:05,830 Richard, what... what do you wanna do here? 470 00:19:05,830 --> 00:19:07,540 What are you talking about? I'm doing it. 471 00:19:07,540 --> 00:19:09,750 Sorry? I'm a coder, Jared. 472 00:19:09,750 --> 00:19:11,170 So I'm gonna code. 473 00:19:11,170 --> 00:19:13,500 And if I have to build my entire new fucking internet by myself, 474 00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:15,500 I'll do that, so... 475 00:19:18,330 --> 00:19:19,790 Oh, dear. 476 00:19:21,290 --> 00:19:22,330 I like it. 477 00:19:22,330 --> 00:19:24,420 It's just so edgy. 478 00:19:24,420 --> 00:19:26,670 Banksy is a very edgy artist. 479 00:19:26,670 --> 00:19:27,830 The edgiest. 480 00:19:29,460 --> 00:19:30,790 What is this? 481 00:19:32,330 --> 00:19:35,790 Banksy is insisting his signature be on his work. 482 00:19:35,790 --> 00:19:37,790 This is supposed to be my signature. 483 00:19:37,790 --> 00:19:41,460 On what planet does a signature have a signature on it? 484 00:19:43,420 --> 00:19:45,170 I'm afraid it's non-negotiable. 485 00:19:45,170 --> 00:19:47,920 The fucking balls on this egomaniac. 486 00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:49,710 You know what? Fuck Banksy. 487 00:19:49,710 --> 00:19:52,460 We're on a campus full of literally thousands 488 00:19:52,460 --> 00:19:55,000 of the greatest creative minds in the world. 489 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,580 Let's just crowd source it with our employees. We'll make it a contest. 490 00:19:57,580 --> 00:19:59,620 People will feel empowered and part of the team. 491 00:19:59,620 --> 00:20:01,250 And it won't cost us shit. 492 00:20:01,250 --> 00:20:03,920 You see? This is what a benevolent leader does. 493 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:04,960 Make it happen. 494 00:20:08,870 --> 00:20:09,870 Sir, is this a good time? 495 00:20:09,870 --> 00:20:11,920 It's a great time. I just fired Banksy. 496 00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:13,080 Banksy, the vandal? 497 00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:16,000 The very one. Now, what do you have for me? 498 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:17,080 Good news. 499 00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:20,420 I'm hearing that Pied Piper is in a free-fall. 500 00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:23,080 From whom? All I can say without implicating you 501 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:24,960 is that I've instituted an operation 502 00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:27,080 to safeguard our interests. 503 00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:29,620 I'm calling it "Project Washburn." 504 00:20:29,620 --> 00:20:30,920 What I'm planning to... 505 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:33,040 Hoover, you're implicating me. 506 00:20:38,750 --> 00:20:41,540 Are we bad people for leaving Richard there to work by himself? 507 00:20:41,540 --> 00:20:43,960 We've been coding for 48 hours straight. 508 00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:47,000 I could give a shit about deontological ethics. 509 00:20:48,670 --> 00:20:49,580 Yang. 510 00:20:49,580 --> 00:20:52,420 There better not be a Chinaman in my bed. 511 00:20:52,420 --> 00:20:54,210 That is racist. 512 00:20:54,210 --> 00:20:55,210 Yes. 513 00:20:56,210 --> 00:20:57,370 I am racist. 514 00:21:02,290 --> 00:21:03,500 Stupid Errich. 515 00:21:03,500 --> 00:21:05,540 Big mortgage. 516 00:21:05,540 --> 00:21:07,040 Seven credit cards. 517 00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:09,120 Not even one with miles. 518 00:21:09,120 --> 00:21:11,540 Fucking loser. 519 00:21:11,540 --> 00:21:15,710 It almost not worth to take his house from him. 520 00:21:15,710 --> 00:21:16,790 Fat fuck. 521 00:21:16,790 --> 00:21:18,080 Speaking of crazy bills, 522 00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:20,580 you know how much it's going to cost to fix my Tesla? 523 00:21:20,580 --> 00:21:22,420 $17,000. 524 00:21:22,420 --> 00:21:23,870 I can't afford to pay that. 525 00:21:26,330 --> 00:21:28,210 But I can't afford not to pay it. 526 00:21:28,210 --> 00:21:29,670 If I don't fix my Tesla, 527 00:21:29,670 --> 00:21:30,960 Gilfoyle wins. 528 00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:33,250 And I need to really shove it up his ass. 529 00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:34,830 Wait. 530 00:21:34,830 --> 00:21:36,420 Do I really hate someone so much 531 00:21:36,420 --> 00:21:39,580 that defeating them is worth more than money? 532 00:21:39,580 --> 00:21:41,210 Is that really what I've become? 533 00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:44,080 Yeah, it is. 534 00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:45,710 I'm gonna pay it. 535 00:21:45,710 --> 00:21:46,790 Thanks, Jian-Yang. 536 00:21:51,460 --> 00:21:52,620 I'll pay, too. 537 00:21:55,870 --> 00:21:57,250 Fuck you, Errich. 538 00:21:57,250 --> 00:21:59,790 You can't just leave your bike-car 539 00:21:59,790 --> 00:22:01,420 in my Tesla's spot and Uber home. 540 00:22:01,420 --> 00:22:02,790 That's not fair, Gilfoyle. 541 00:22:02,790 --> 00:22:05,580 Mmm, you don't seem to understand. 542 00:22:05,580 --> 00:22:07,290 It's my spot now. 543 00:22:10,710 --> 00:22:11,750 What are they doing back? 544 00:22:11,750 --> 00:22:13,790 Hey. Where have you been? 545 00:22:13,790 --> 00:22:15,250 Sleeping. 546 00:22:15,250 --> 00:22:17,960 What? All night? 547 00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:20,620 We assumed you guys were right behind us. What's happening? 548 00:22:20,620 --> 00:22:21,790 Oh! 549 00:22:22,790 --> 00:22:23,960 Something. 550 00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:25,620 Something is happening. 551 00:22:25,620 --> 00:22:27,120 When you left, I thought he was fried. 552 00:22:27,120 --> 00:22:29,790 Okay? Because his shoulders were all tight, 553 00:22:29,790 --> 00:22:31,670 and he wouldn't answer to his name, 554 00:22:31,670 --> 00:22:32,870 and his eyes went dead, 555 00:22:32,870 --> 00:22:34,000 like when I tell him I love him. 556 00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:36,210 But then, he just got stronger 557 00:22:36,210 --> 00:22:37,420 and he started picking up speed, 558 00:22:37,420 --> 00:22:39,710 so I texted a few of the Sliceline guys 559 00:22:39,710 --> 00:22:42,080 and then they texted some of the Optimoji guys, 560 00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:43,500 and they all wanted to see it. 561 00:22:43,500 --> 00:22:46,000 Richard has finished the scheduler 562 00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:47,290 and is almost ready to merge 563 00:22:47,290 --> 00:22:48,870 the server-less runtime. Look, look! 564 00:22:48,870 --> 00:22:50,830 He implemented all those tasks? 565 00:22:50,830 --> 00:22:52,500 By himself? 566 00:22:52,500 --> 00:22:54,670 That was supposed to take the whole team four days. 567 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:57,670 It's amazing. I mean, I feel... 568 00:22:57,670 --> 00:23:00,000 I feel like Mary Magdalene on resurrection day. 569 00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:02,500 And that's not the greatest miracle of all. 570 00:23:02,500 --> 00:23:04,870 Look. Look at the coders. 571 00:23:04,870 --> 00:23:07,000 They're all wearing Pied Piper hoodies. 572 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:08,540 He pushed another commit. 573 00:23:08,540 --> 00:23:09,620 What the fuck? 574 00:23:09,620 --> 00:23:11,330 Flawless. Right? 575 00:23:11,330 --> 00:23:14,460 Um, it takes a while to read a whole commit. 576 00:23:14,460 --> 00:23:16,540 They've been cheering after every commit. 577 00:23:16,540 --> 00:23:18,330 I mean, they haven't, but it's... 578 00:23:18,330 --> 00:23:19,460 it's great. 579 00:23:26,370 --> 00:23:28,040 I thought I had to shit my pants. 580 00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:29,670 So, I crouched. 581 00:23:31,710 --> 00:23:32,870 I actually vomited. 582 00:23:34,870 --> 00:23:37,750 Fight-or-flight reflex kicked in and I just... 583 00:23:40,460 --> 00:23:42,120 Richard! 584 00:23:42,120 --> 00:23:43,710 Richard? 585 00:23:43,710 --> 00:23:45,210 Richard? 586 00:23:45,210 --> 00:23:46,620 Hey, buddy boy. 587 00:23:46,620 --> 00:23:50,000 Oh, there he is. 588 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:52,370 What's... what's going on? 589 00:23:52,370 --> 00:23:53,870 Don't flip out, okay? 590 00:23:53,870 --> 00:23:57,250 But you have been in a coma for four years. 591 00:23:57,250 --> 00:23:58,330 What? 592 00:23:58,330 --> 00:23:59,870 That's correct. 593 00:23:59,870 --> 00:24:02,040 In fact, I'm a robot. 594 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:04,920 The real Dr. Crawford died heroically 595 00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:06,790 in the water wars of 2020. 596 00:24:08,540 --> 00:24:11,000 Jokes, Richard! 597 00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:12,370 I'm just joking around. 598 00:24:12,370 --> 00:24:14,120 What, did you sell your sense of humor? 599 00:24:16,580 --> 00:24:18,330 You've just been out for about six hours. 600 00:24:18,330 --> 00:24:20,670 You were not even unconscious, really just asleep. 601 00:24:20,670 --> 00:24:22,670 But you did lose a whole lot of blood. 602 00:24:22,670 --> 00:24:24,750 I just hope they put the right kind back in. 603 00:24:26,250 --> 00:24:28,580 Wait, are you still riffing? 604 00:24:29,750 --> 00:24:31,250 I don't know. 605 00:24:32,120 --> 00:24:33,920 Richard, here's the bad news, 606 00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:35,580 your arms and your torso 607 00:24:35,580 --> 00:24:37,210 took the brunt of the glass. 608 00:24:37,210 --> 00:24:38,580 If you'd cut your face up some, 609 00:24:38,580 --> 00:24:41,080 we could've gotten insurance to pay for a whole remodel. 610 00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:42,120 Gotta, you know... 611 00:24:42,120 --> 00:24:43,920 give the old schnozzle a much-needed trim, 612 00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:45,370 you know what I'm talking about. 613 00:24:45,370 --> 00:24:47,500 You gotta hate it as much as everybody else. 614 00:24:48,420 --> 00:24:49,870 So what happened? What were you, 615 00:24:49,870 --> 00:24:51,420 trying to ride one of those hover boards 616 00:24:51,420 --> 00:24:53,170 around your office like a nincompoop? 617 00:24:53,170 --> 00:24:54,960 Um, no. 618 00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:57,500 I... I guess I just got a little lost in the work. 619 00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:01,920 All right. Hop in, Frankenstein. 620 00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:03,250 Let's get you out of here. 621 00:25:03,250 --> 00:25:05,080 Oh, uh... 622 00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:07,000 I think what you're trying to say is 623 00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:08,290 Frankenstein's monster. 624 00:25:08,290 --> 00:25:09,580 What? 625 00:25:09,580 --> 00:25:11,750 I think you mean to call me Frankenstein's monster 626 00:25:11,750 --> 00:25:12,750 'cause Frankenstein is the... 627 00:25:12,750 --> 00:25:14,040 Oh, you're one of those guys, huh? 628 00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:16,330 No, I'm just... the doctor's name is Frankenstein... 629 00:25:16,330 --> 00:25:18,290 I know. It's just an annoying thing to point out. 630 00:25:18,290 --> 00:25:20,670 If you want people to like you, 631 00:25:20,670 --> 00:25:22,330 just go along with what they say and have fun. 632 00:25:26,830 --> 00:25:28,120 What? 633 00:25:28,120 --> 00:25:29,250 Richard! 634 00:25:29,250 --> 00:25:31,870 You should've called. I would've picked you up. 635 00:25:31,870 --> 00:25:33,580 What's everybody doing here? 636 00:25:33,580 --> 00:25:34,960 The fuck does it look like? 637 00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:35,960 We're working. 638 00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:37,170 Look at 'em all, Richard. 639 00:25:37,170 --> 00:25:39,670 I mean, sure, a three-day orientation 640 00:25:39,670 --> 00:25:41,500 might've been just as effective and less bloody, 641 00:25:41,500 --> 00:25:42,750 but it wasn't you. 642 00:25:42,750 --> 00:25:44,580 But you found your own way 643 00:25:44,580 --> 00:25:49,000 to get these men and women, these Pipers, to follow you. 644 00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:50,460 You looked at these people and you said, 645 00:25:50,460 --> 00:25:52,330 "I may not be an inspiring speaker. 646 00:25:52,330 --> 00:25:54,830 "I may be twitchy, 647 00:25:54,830 --> 00:25:56,540 "and I might be strange, 648 00:25:56,540 --> 00:25:59,000 "and I might vomit and I might defecate in my pants 649 00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:01,120 "and I might throw myself through a window. 650 00:26:01,120 --> 00:26:02,710 "But I believe in this company so much, 651 00:26:02,710 --> 00:26:05,790 I'll work so hard, I'll literally risk my life for it." 652 00:26:05,790 --> 00:26:09,000 And that is the kind of leader these people wanna follow. 653 00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:12,250 Because now they know nothing is gonna stop you. 654 00:26:12,250 --> 00:26:13,540 All right, then. 655 00:26:21,870 --> 00:26:24,000 Gavin Belson's office, please? 656 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:26,620 I need to talk to Hoover. It's Jeff Washburn. 657 00:26:26,620 --> 00:26:28,210 Yes, thank you. 658 00:26:28,210 --> 00:26:30,420 This one came in third with 46 votes. 659 00:26:30,420 --> 00:26:32,710 Cute. Next? 660 00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:37,000 This one came in second with 374 votes. 661 00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,000 Nice, feels solid. 662 00:26:40,370 --> 00:26:43,250 And with 9,986 votes this, 663 00:26:43,250 --> 00:26:45,710 by far, was Hooli's favorite. 664 00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:53,870 Hmm, I like it. 665 00:26:55,000 --> 00:26:56,210 It's bold. 666 00:26:56,210 --> 00:26:58,830 Gavin B. 667 00:26:59,870 --> 00:27:01,790 Mr. Hoover? You have a phone call. 668 00:27:01,790 --> 00:27:03,330 He said you'd know what it was regarding. 669 00:27:03,330 --> 00:27:04,920 A Mr. Jeff Washburn. 670 00:27:08,710 --> 00:27:10,790 I am so exhausted. 671 00:27:10,790 --> 00:27:12,250 But the backseat of my Tesla's 672 00:27:12,250 --> 00:27:13,920 really comfy though, right, Richard? 673 00:27:13,920 --> 00:27:16,580 Definitely worth all the money I'm spending on it. 674 00:27:16,580 --> 00:27:18,000 Good purchase. 675 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:19,370 Not a mistake. 676 00:27:19,370 --> 00:27:21,040 Uh... 677 00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:22,500 my key doesn't work. 678 00:27:22,500 --> 00:27:24,250 Uh, let me try mine. 679 00:27:27,170 --> 00:27:28,210 What the fuck? 680 00:27:28,210 --> 00:27:29,460 Mine doesn't work either. 681 00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:32,290 Yang. Move. 682 00:27:33,210 --> 00:27:34,460 Do you have a app idea? 683 00:27:34,460 --> 00:27:35,790 No. 684 00:27:35,790 --> 00:27:39,330 Sorry. Errich is gone. 685 00:27:39,330 --> 00:27:41,460 This is my incubator now. 686 00:27:41,460 --> 00:27:42,790 What? 687 00:27:42,790 --> 00:27:44,790 Your things are over there. 688 00:27:46,120 --> 00:27:47,500 What the fuck? 689 00:27:47,500 --> 00:27:49,670 You just took our shit and threw it on the lawn? 690 00:27:49,670 --> 00:27:50,830 Gilfoyle, 691 00:27:50,830 --> 00:27:52,460 you are racist. 692 00:27:52,460 --> 00:27:53,620 And Richard... 693 00:27:54,710 --> 00:27:55,750 you are ugly. 694 00:27:55,750 --> 00:27:58,960 The Errich administration is over. 695 00:27:58,960 --> 00:27:59,960 What? What the fuck? 696 00:27:59,960 --> 00:28:01,790 You can't just kick us out, Jian-Yang. 697 00:28:01,790 --> 00:28:06,120 Sorry. You are victims of a circumstance. 698 00:28:06,120 --> 00:28:07,290 Thank you. 699 00:28:09,500 --> 00:28:10,580 Jian-Yang. 700 00:28:11,670 --> 00:28:12,790 What the fuck? 701 00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:19,000 Why does the whole neighborhood smell like bacon?